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Episode 1 - Biology - A Lego Brick Full of Meccano                          Introduction to cells. Episode 2 - Chemistry - Bob Marley and th...

Monday, 6 November 2023

Did We Talk About Bernard Cribbins?

 Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education, the comedy science podcast, where comedian me, Laura Lex tries to learn science from her in the Wintry sunshine.

Laura: Brother Ron never been.

Ron: Hello.

Ron: I'm Ron.

Ron: Never been happier for Bristol to have a microclimate.

Ron: The rest of the country is underwater and we've just had a nice chilly autumnal sort of kind of to it for the last couple of days.

Laura: A delicious, delicious day.

Laura: How are you, Ron?

Laura: You all right?

Ron: Yeah, I'm good.

Ron: I was just telling you, I've just become a paid up member of the Green Party.

Laura: Join me.

Ron: Everything I see about Carla Denier and I've met her.

Ron: She seems to have her head screwed on the right way.

Ron: So let's do that.

Laura: Yeah, I've got.

Laura: Sian Berry is our local Green representative.

Laura: I went and did a litter pick with her the other day.

Ron: Lovely stuff.

Laura: Yeah, pretty cool.

Laura: I'm a pretty cool guy.

Laura: Took chart of the podcast.

Laura: I was like, this is activism, kid.

Laura: Pew pew.

Laura: You've got these kind of parents.

Ron: I don't know if I've discussed this on the podcast, but yeah, I'm trying to volunteer for the Greens.

Ron: They want me to run a team for volunteers for them.

Laura: The science branch?

Ron: No, basically the data team.

Laura: The data what?

Ron: Day to day.

Laura: You're just in charge of the day to day.

Ron: The data.

Laura: Is this little gag I was doing about data sounding like day two.

Ron: Ron, you're dressed like a cuddly bear.

Laura: Yep.

Laura: I'm in a room that we have not used today, so it's chilly.

Laura: I'm keeping snugly warm.

Laura: I gotta go to Scotland tomorrow to do a job.

Laura: It's gonna be a long day.

Laura: I'm going to a party on Saturday dressed as a caterpillar from Labyrinth.

Laura: I'm very excited about that.

Ron: Yes, I wanted to go to the same party dressed as the same caterpillar.

Laura: Yeah, but you're not coming.

Ron: No.

Laura: Where are you going?

Ron: I'm in London because we're doing the.

Laura: Yeah, but you're not coming to Brighton after that anymore, are you?

Laura: We'll talk about this off air.

Laura: We got to stop catching up our lives on air.

Ron: No, we should do that in the body of the episode because it's physics that we need to record of this.

Laura: It is, and it's physics today.

Laura: In today's episode, we're doing Waves Two.

Laura: It's a funny old episode.

Laura: We won't spoiler it.

Laura: But look, if you're finding the first bit a bit low energy, just hold on.

Laura: Okay?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I mean, they've already heard some of Sad Laura.

Ron: It's the last of yeah, yeah.

Ron: Well, no, it's not.

Ron: Sad Laura will return in many sequels, but it's the last of this spate of Sad Laura, as we've discussed before, we decided to leave it in because we are not mental superheroes and no one should have to pretend they are.

Laura: No.

Laura: It was funny listening back, though.

Laura: I can hear the difference in my voice in the two.

Laura: That's mad.

Ron: Anyway, I really didn't like myself listening to this, and I know that it was trying to keep up a sort of professional pretense, but it's just coming across like a top arm.

Laura: Hey, look, that's the way life is sometimes.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Let's go do some waves.

Ron: Ron describing waves.

Ron: So do you remember what we were doing last time in physics?

Laura: Laura not a Scooby Doo, but I'll have a look back.

Laura: Oh, waves.

Ron: It's the episode that just went out.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Everybody's mad at you.

Laura: No one's mad at me.

Ron: I don't care.

Laura: No, look, it looks like someone can.

Ron: Make their own podcast.

Ron: They think they can do it better.

Ron: The signal is so bad, I can see about four pixels that you're waving.

Laura: At me, I'm afraid, because I'm at Agony Dad's house.

Laura: Exquisitely painful mum yet.

Ron: Ron what do you mean?

Laura: I was waiting for you to get your stuff together.

Ron: Okay, 2 seconds.

Ron: Sorry.

Ron: Yeah, we were doing waves last time today after everyone's, like, didn't really tell us what a wave is.

Ron: I don't know what a wave is.

Ron: Today we're going to do a bit more about waves and sort of get into what they're made of and how they work and stuff.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Cool beans.

Ron: Right, okay.

Laura: I found a bottle opener in the shape of a guitar on Agony Dad's desk.

Ron: Is it red?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Is it yours?

Ron: I believe I was given that for Christmas once.

Laura: Yeah, I don't really I've gone round it in my notebooks very much.

Laura: You use your teeth?

Ron: Nice.

Ron: I don't use my teeth.

Ron: That gives me the ick.

Ron: I use anything else.

Ron: I've just sent you a link.

Laura: Laura a sexy lady's v*****.

Ron: Wow.

Ron: I don't have a v*****, but I didn't like that very much.

Laura: I was imagining a cartoon sexy lady.

Laura: It says this board is locked.

Laura: Trivialized women free.

Laura: Ron, I've clicked the link and it says I have to sign up.

Ron: You shouldn't have to.

Laura: It says this board is don't.

Ron: Okay, sorry.

Laura: Do I have to sign up?

Laura: Shall I sign know?

Ron: I don't know.

Laura: We couldn't create your board.

Laura: Please try again.

Laura: It says, I don't want to create a board.

Laura: I just want to look at Ron's board.

Laura: Oh, Ron.

Laura: Oh, Ronnie.

Ron: What are you complaining about when they.

Laura: Send you a f****** six digit code and you have to put that in and you're like, you know that that's just popping down on the taskbar.

Laura: Who is that deterring ever?

Laura: No one.

Laura: Grow up.

Ron: Robots, I think, mainly.

Ron: Okay, can you get into it now?

Laura: I'm trying.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: This is so boring.

Laura: I don't want to do that.

Laura: I'm already cross.

Laura: This is making me crosser.

Laura: Oh, God, Ron.

Laura: It doesn't love me, just like everybody else on planet Earth.

Laura: Oh, now I'm in.

Laura: There's a blurry picture of a wave.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I'm sorry.

Laura: Why is your arrow called Laura, Lex?

Ron: Because I'm signed in as the podcast one.

Laura: What's my arrow called?

Ron: Laura?

Laura: Oh, I've deleted the wave.

Laura: Sorry, Ron, can you undo that?

Laura: Yep.

Ron: Okay, cool it's back.

Ron: Right, cool.

Ron: Right, let's share this so that it's included in the thing.

Ron: Okay, cool.

Ron: Right, Laura, we are going to be technical gremlins guys.

Ron: Okay, cool.

Ron: So we're going to learn how to describe a wave like this.

Ron: All right, laura and we're going to learn about how to measure things about it.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: A wave like what?

Laura: Ron you have to describe it.

Laura: It's a podcast.

Ron: That's your job.

Ron: You do the peppy descriptions, I do.

Laura: The teacher, you do the peppy description.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: That's a sine wave, isn't it?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: It's a wave.

Laura: What it looks like is there's a stage and we can see right through the stage.

Laura: And there is a caterpillar who is climbing up and going down under the stage looking for something.

Laura: Climb back up to do a little bit more performing, climbing back down, looking for something else.

Laura: Climb back up to do a bit more performing, climbing down, looking for something else, maybe a contact lens or a screw, and then comes back to the stage and just crawls into the wood.

Ron: Sure.

Ron: All right.

Ron: Lovely stuff.

Ron: Laura we're going to learn about the amplitude, the wavelength and the frequency of waves.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Can you hazard a guess where on this graph draw with a little line?

Ron: Where do you think the amplitude is seen?

Ron: How we could measure the amplitude.

Laura: What's the amplitude?

Laura: Ron?

Ron: Sort of the size of the wave.

Laura: I reckon that is on the wire.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So the whiteboard is so that you could draw on it and maybe give some visual stuff.

Laura: It's a podcast.

Laura: No one can see it.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: It's on the Y axis.

Ron: It's the distance between the maximum point on the wave and the line going down the middle.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: What do you think the wavelength is?

Laura: I think the wavelength is that from like, peak to peak or trough to trough.

Laura: Like this equivalent length from one spot to the same spot.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: It's basically just from same spot on the next wave.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: And then how do you think imagining that this is a wave that's moving along, how do you think we'd measure the frequency of the wave?

Laura: How many peaks in a given distance.

Ron: That affects it?

Ron: There is a relationship, a mathematical relationship between frequency and wavelength, but obviously there's something else that plays into it.

Laura: What?

Laura: I thought you just asked how to measure frequency.

Ron: Yes, I did.

Ron: So, yes, there is a relationship between frequency and wavelength, but how many are in a bit is not like that's.

Ron: How you'd just be counting.

Ron: That would more give you sort of the wavelength, wouldn't it?

Laura: I was thinking it'd give you how frequently you have a peak, which made sense to me to be the frequency.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: The wave is moving the angle of the mound.

Ron: No, it's to do with the speed of the wave.

Ron: So the frequency is the number of waves that pass a point each second.

Laura: Oh, that feels what, so they might be moving at a different speed?

Ron: Yeah, different waves will move at different speeds.

Laura: Yeah, that makes sense.

Laura: So thick.

Ron: Okay, so if you increased the wavelength but the speed of the wave didn't change at all, what would happen to the frequency?

Laura: It would slow down.

Ron: Exactly, yeah.

Ron: If you increase the amplitude, but you didn't increase the speed of the wave at all, what would happen to the frequency?

Laura: MMM.

Laura: Nothing.

Ron: Nothing indeed.

Ron: They are not connected.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Not like the tailbone.

Ron: You've written that stuff down, Laura.

Ron: This is the lesson.

Laura: No, I haven't, but I feel okay about that.

Ron: Okay, we'll move on.

Ron: I'm going to stop sharing my screen.

Ron: Right, the next thing that we're going to learn about is a property of a wave called a period.

Laura: Laura, I've got my period.

Ron: Now, a period explains it.

Ron: A period, Laura, is basically how long it takes for one cycle of the wave to pass point.

Ron: So it is defined as one divided by the frequency.

Laura: How long it takes for what, sorry.

Ron: For one sort of full go.

Ron: For one full bit of the wave to pass a point.

Laura: For one full bit of the wave.

Ron: One full cycle of the wave.

Laura: One full cycle.

Laura: One full cycle.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: From one point on the wave to the identical point on the next bit.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: I understand.

Laura: And that's called a wave period.

Ron: Just a period.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Sad.

Laura: Without my gel pen, period of use, not as good.

Ron: Why don't you use agony, Dad's?

Ron: Crayons.

Laura: He's only got three colors and they're all yellows.

Laura: I don't think they're going to show up very well.

Ron: That's weird.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: You know, it's just a graveyard of stuff.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I hate it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Period measured in seconds, obviously, because it's time.

Ron: Do you know what frequency is measured in?

Laura: Period is measured oh, hang on.

Laura: You told me what the equation was for it.

Laura: What was it?

Laura: One minus wave.

Laura: One what?

Ron: One over frequency.

Laura: One over.

Laura: What does that mean?

Laura: One over frequency.

Ron: One divided by the frequency.

Laura: Okay, right, okay, I've got that bit that is in the can.

Ron: Cool.

Ron: Do you know what the unit for frequency is?

Laura: Hertz.

Ron: It is hertz.

Ron: Well done.

Laura: Yeah, that was festering away somewhere in the back of my brain.

Ron: Next thing that we're going to learn about is how to calculate the speed of a wave.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Wave speed is equal to the frequency times the wavelength.

Laura: That makes sense.

Ron: This makes sense because the higher the frequency, the bigger the wavelength, the smaller the wavelength would need to be to go at the same speed.

Laura: I understand it all.

Laura: And then you say a sentence and it's like clearing down a kaleidoscope and trying to hold everything where it was in the beginning.

Laura: I hate physics so much, I'm already having a bad day.

Laura: And now it's physics.

Ron: We can stop.

Laura: We'll carry this on another day.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Yes, I'm ready.

Laura: Well, I'm ready, too.

Laura: Ron.

Laura: We're back.

Laura: And I'm more cheerful now.

Ron: Hello.

Laura: So I was just going to say, we've had a discussion about what to do about this episode, as to whether to scrap the initial bit of recording and just start again or do what we have decided to do, which is leave it in and continue.

Laura: Because I've said it before with a couple of things people talk a lot about living with mental health issues and talking about it, but sometimes I think it's good to just show it rather than be like, oh, I was sad the other day, but you don't need to see it.

Laura: Hey, look, I'm not always perky.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And, yeah, we bear a lot of ourselves on this podcast then.

Laura: I've got one tit out right now.

Ron: No, she doesn't.

Laura: Weird.

Ron: Sometimes.

Laura: You imagine that, oh, that would be so uncomfortable.

Ron: Yeah, it would be horrible.

Ron: We're related.

Laura: Really related.

Laura: We look the same.

Ron: We're the same person.

Laura: We're the same.

Laura: Anyway, we were doing waves.

Laura: Ron, I'm going to rehap to you what we learned.

Laura: Yeah, so we learned about amplitude is the bit at the top of the wave.

Ron: Amplitude is the maximum displacement.

Laura: We didn't talk about that.

Ron: The amplitude is not the top.

Ron: The amplitude is the distance from the top to the middle.

Laura: We didn't talk about that.

Laura: Let me just adjust that note.

Laura: I'm glad we're distance from the top to the middle is the amplitude.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: And then the wavelength is the horizontal distance from one point on a wave to the same point on the next cycle of the wave.

Laura: Yeah, a wave period is full of Bloating.

Laura: No.

Laura: Wave period is how long it's hard.

Ron: For me to riff on that without being like, oh, yeah, women on the Blob.

Ron: Thumbs up.

Laura: No, don't put your thumb in it.

Laura: Wave period how long it takes for one full cycle to pass a point.

Ron: No.

Laura: Yeah, that's what I've written.

Laura: How long it takes for one full cycle to pass a point.

Laura: Periods are measured in seconds, one over frequency.

Laura: I don't know what that means, but I've written it down.

Laura: I've also drawn this bottle opener.

Laura: Frequency is hertz speed of a wave equals frequency time.

Ron: Sorry, you are right, actually.

Ron: You are correct there.

Laura: I know I'm right, mate.

Laura: I'm parroting.

Laura: You.

Ron: Sounded confrontational, but it was actually quite nice.

Ron: I'm always nice and always sounding confrontational.

Ron: Yeah, and then there's also the frequency as well.

Laura: Yeah, I said, that hurts.

Ron: Yes, but what's the definition?

Laura: One over frequency.

Ron: God, I've just looked at my second screen and seeing all the tabs.

Ron: One of them is just Google search of gay Creek physicists next to George Washington Carver and Netflix.

Ron: Fun, right?

Ron: It's very dark in my room now.

Laura: We found out we were paying for the Netflix again the other day.

Ron: No.

Ron: Not this Netflix, though.

Laura: Just a different Netflix.

Ron: We've someone's netflix.

Laura: Yeah, we've bloody cancelled.

Ron: Good.

Ron: Indeed.

Laura: Just really watching a lot of Disney Plus at the moment.

Laura: Watching the bear.

Ron: I'm watching the films of Wes Anderson at the moment.

Laura: I find them all a bit filmed.

Laura: Too close.

Laura: Put the camera really close to people and film find it really annoying.

Ron: You really are a bit neurospincy, aren't you?

Laura: He gets up real close for his angles and it's like, just back off a little bit so that we can see more.

Laura: I don't want to be in Bill Murray's nostrils.

Ron: It's because all of the shots are.

Laura: Framed with yeah, they're all weird.

Laura: I don't like it.

Laura: Hi, Charles.

Laura: Podcast.

Laura: Hi.

Ron: I'm looking forward to seeing her on Sunday.

Laura: Yeah, she's rad.

Laura: She's obsessed with copcopters at the moment.

Ron: Copcopters.

Laura: Copcopters.

Ron: I'm going to tell her my helicopter.

Laura: She'll point at the sky.

Laura: Copter.

Laura: All gone.

Laura: All gone.

Laura: All gone.

Laura: And then you just have to go.

Laura: Yeah, the helicopter's gone home now.

Laura: All gone.

Laura: Yeah, it's gone home.

Laura: All gone.

Laura: Yeah, I suppose you do get them.

Ron: Quite a lot in Brighton because they're always like, looking for missing lads in.

Laura: The I've never seen one and it was at Mum and Dad's house going down to the marine camp.

Laura: But she's obsessed and any lawn mower or hi, really?

Laura: Oh, okay, baby.

Laura: She's drunk.

Laura: I'm so sorry, everyone.

Laura: This is embarrassing.

Laura: She's hopped up on fruit sticks and milk.

Laura: Yeah, she's good.

Laura: Fun.

Laura: Took her to the soft play today and there was like three separate areas and all she wanted to do is play in the one for the six to eleven year olds.

Laura: She's like I mean, fine.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Was there a death slide?

Laura: There was a slide that was faster than I thought it would be when I went down and it had a wiggle in the middle and then I bounced and was surprisingly good.

Ron: I want to see if I can still do a death slide.

Ron: I was very bottled it.

Laura: We bottled it.

Laura: Where were we?

Laura: And we bottled it.

Ron: Well, we were at Creeley, but we bottled it.

Ron: At least I bottled it because you couldn't see the bottom and I didn't want to break a child's ankles.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Sorry about these incredibly rude interruptions from.

Ron: I think I speak for everyone when I say we're enjoying it.

Ron: Right, well, let's crack on with this episode.

Laura: Oh, it seems so boring, though, because we just recorded the nice episode about historical scientists and now we're back to waves.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And to be honest, it was quite good, actually, that you were such a sourpuss at the beginning of this episode because it really distracted from how all consumingly boring this episode is going to be.

Laura: I don't understand how physicists don't just have a permanent boredom nosebleed.

Ron: Well, I think loads of jobs are boring.

Laura: Not this boring, not Waves boring.

Ron: Do you want to just list some.

Laura: Whales again, that was a bit that went down very well with the listenership.

Laura: Thank you very much.

Ron: Yeah, they lap up anything you do.

Laura: Because I'm wholesome, Ron.

Laura: Yeah, you're numb to it because you've spent so long with me.

Laura: But I'm a delight.

Laura: I'm a breath of fresh air in the comedy industry.

Ron: It's just turned into a rain episode.

Ron: It was such a nice day.

Laura: Oh, I'm sorry.

Laura: It's a rain episode for you, Ron.

Laura: It's just delicious here.

Laura: Did a workout in the garden this morning, except my shoulder is really hurting because I'm so tense.

Ron: That's not good.

Ron: I'm going to the gym a lot at the moment.

Laura: You're looking buff, mate.

Ron: Thanks.

Ron: I am quite buff now.

Ron: I'm pretty swollen.

Laura: You can bench press Chard of the podcast very easily.

Ron: She's not heavy.

Laura: Yeah, I think I could bench press her, actually.

Ron: Yeah, I'd be really worried if you couldn't lift your own child.

Laura: Yeah, but a bench press is different to lifting.

Ron: Yeah, it is lifting.

Laura: You understand that she was doing a workout with me earlier.

Laura: I've got a little one and a half kilo weight and we were doing, like, pull catch press and she was copying me.

Ron: That's really cute.

Ron: And also probably quite good for her.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Keep trim.

Ron: Where did it's quite hard to dip back in to a wave.

Laura: Dip in.

Laura: Oh, like the sea.

Laura: This is why I feel it full of sound effects, just because then at least there's something to look forward to.

Ron: Like a child reading a book.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: You know those books where and then you'd press the button and.

Ron: We take.

Laura: Their clothes off for a bath.

Ron: Right.

Ron: So what we're going to do is we're just going to bang through the rest of these formulas and then we'll be getting onto electromagnetic waves next time, 6.6.2.

Ron: So let's just bang through this and then we'll just have a bit of a lovely chat for the rest of the EP and then we'll start afresh at the start of 6.6.2.

Ron: Next, physics.

Laura: And that's three weeks ago away, which is basically never going to happen.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: Because we've got Halloween.

Ron: In between that, we've got my birthday.

Ron: We've got loads of fun stuff coming up.

Laura: Yeah, I can't wait to record the Moon episode.

Ron: Yeah, we do need to do that.

Ron: Your birthday treat.

Laura: I'm going to do that research while I'm on this hemp party this weekend.

Ron: Right, okay.

Ron: So do you have the formula for period written down?

Ron: There chocolate plus crying plus rom coms equals no.

Laura: I've got seconds comma one over frequency.

Ron: Yes, that's period.

Ron: Period is defined by a capital T.

Ron: What?

Ron: I don't know why.

Ron: Probably maybe time.

Ron: Maybe it's time.

Laura: So what do you want me to write down?

Ron: T equals one over little F, which stands for frequency.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: It's what you've written down.

Ron: It's just you've used not the symbols that the land has chosen.

Laura: Oh, God.

Laura: All my goodwill towards you vanishes when you become physics.

Ron: Man the wave speed, Laura, is the speed at which energy is transferred through the medium or the speed at which the wave moves.

Ron: Sure.

Ron: Stop me if I'm going too fast.

Laura: About how a wave isn't necessarily a thing moving, it's energy moving through a thing.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: Like a Mexican wave, the people don't move.

Laura: Example because the people aren't running around the stadium, but the motion is waving.

Ron: They were doing hella Mexican waves in Leo at the.

Laura: You did you can't even think of a question to distract you.

Ron: No, they were nice, though.

Ron: On the way back, we got stuck on a tram for ages and shoved in like cattle.

Ron: Everyone just stood there and we were sat there for like 25 minutes, just on the tracks.

Ron: And me and Max start chatting to this older Scottish couple.

Ron: They must have been in their 50s or something.

Ron: We were just chatting to them for ages and people were singing songs and stuff.

Ron: It was all very merry.

Ron: And then we started, just the whole group, not just us, but just asking people where they were from.

Ron: They'd be like, oh, where are you from?

Ron: It's like, oh, I'm from Scotland.

Ron: They'd be like, oh, paola nitini.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Then we sang like a song and be like, Where are you from?

Ron: It's like, oh, I'm from Somerset.

Ron: Okay, cool.

Ron: Right, we'll sing f****** the.

Ron: Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Ron: Right.

Ron: Wave speed, Laura, equals the frequency times the wavelengths.

Laura: I know, I told you that.

Ron: Okay, have we already done this?

Ron: Wave speed meters per second.

Ron: Frequency hertz as we know.

Ron: Wavelength hang on, let me f****** finish.

Laura: Hang on.

Laura: Wave speed is meters per second.

Ron: Yeah, like a speed.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Frequency is hertz as we know.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Wavelength is in meters.

Laura: Wavelength is in meters.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Wavelength is denoted by the Greek letter lambda.

Laura: Jesus Christ.

Laura: What the drama school?

Ron: Lambda.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: No.

Ron: You think of Rada.

Laura: No, lambda.

Ron: I don't know what that is.

Laura: It's a drama school.

Ron: It's a Greek letter.

Ron: It looks like an upside down y.

Laura: London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art.

Laura: It looks like an upside down Y, did you say?

Ron: Yeah, like an upside down, not capital Y.

Laura: How do you even do that?

Laura: Like a bendy h.

Laura: Oh, like a little brontosaurus looking behind.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Ah, it's the lamb before time.

Ron: The lambda before time.

Laura: Nice.

Laura: Ron it's all coming together.

Laura: What does it mean again?

Ron: Wavelength.

Laura: Wavelengths.

Laura: Yeah, equals wavelengths.

Laura: God in heaven.

Laura: They make it complicated and that's.

Laura: Meters, but it's also a brontosaurus.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: God.

Laura: Why not just say wavelength?

Laura: Laura you look very earnest today.

Ron: Ron I am that's.

Laura: It like Bernard Cribbins today.

Ron: Who the f***'s Bernard?

Ron: I'm going to Google.

Ron: Do you know how?

Laura: Bernard Cribbins, that's who.

Laura: You look a bit like a young Bernard Cribbins.

Laura: Obviously not an old now.

Laura: Bernard Cribbins.

Ron: Oh, that guy.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I don't love this for me.

Laura: Have you googled young Bernard Cribbins, though?

Ron: I've just Googled Bernard Cribbins and some young pictures have snuck in.

Laura: Let's find out what young Bernard Cribbins looks like.

Laura: Young Bernard Cribbins?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: He's got a UE look about him.

Ron: Yeah, it's not dissimilar if he had a beard on.

Laura: Oh, similar, I reckon.

Laura: Did you say that was it?

Laura: Are we done?

Ron: Is that yeah, we're done.

Laura: We were so nearly there.

Ron: Oh, he was the wombles.

Laura: Narrator remember, you're a womble.

Ron: He looks like Railway Children is what.

Laura: I remember him from.

Ron: What?

Laura: The railway, children.

Ron: Don't know it.

Laura: He was a companion in Doctor Who.

Laura: Oh, he died.

Laura: He died last year.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: He has an album called the Hole in the Ground by Bernard Cribbins.

Laura: Well, anyway, you've got a look of him about you today.

Laura: What are you googling now?

Laura: More.

Laura: Bernard cribbins.

Laura: Ron, what are you doing?

Laura: You're up to something.

Laura: You're being sneaky.

Laura: Have you found a filter?

Laura: You're listening to the Bernard Cribbins album, Hole in the Ground.

Laura: It's jaunty from the dancing.

Laura: I'm watching.

Ron: It's very hello.

Ron: Children everywhere.

Laura: Yeah, well, I guess he's that era in it.

Ron: Hang on, get this in your ears.

Ron: It's very right St Fred to take.

Ron: The doors are going to have to go.

Laura: I don't want an essay from Grammarly.

Laura: Oh, he's very D*** Van D***.

Ron: Right.

Ron: It seems Laura's listening to a lot more of it than I did.

Ron: She looks quite horrified.

Laura: Why could people write song like so?

Laura: Hang on.

Laura: So this song so far it's two minutes long and so far he's digging a hole.

Laura: He describes the hole in some detail and then a man comes along and tells him that the hole is wrong.

Laura: Have a think about digging a hole somewhere else.

Laura: You can't just put a hole.

Laura: This hole is round.

Laura: Square holes are the vogue right now.

Laura: Why were people writing these songs?

Ron: Was digging this hole, hole in the ground so big it was around it was there digging it deep.

Ron: It was flat at the bottom and the sides were steep.

Laura: Keep going, keep going.

Ron: When along comes this bloke in Owen Ebola, which he lifted his head, scratched his head.

Ron: He looked down the hole, poor demented soul, and he said, do you mind if I make a suggestion?

Ron: Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere.

Ron: You're digging round, it ought to be square.

Ron: The shape of it's wrong much too long.

Ron: And you can't put a hole where a hole don't belong.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I haven't listened to the end of the song, so don't really know what goes on.

Laura: But is he going to dig another hole?

Ron: Listeners, you listen to Bernard Cribbins, a.

Laura: Hole in the Ground, him in a bowl ahead.

Ron: Tell us what was going on later on with the hole.

Laura: No explanation as to what the hole's for.

Ron: Oh, my God.

Ron: Wright said Fred was by Bernard Cribbins.

Laura: Really?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, he's having a cigarette break now.

Ron: Well, there you go.

Laura: Of his hole.

Laura: He says, I just couldn't bear to dig it elsewhere.

Laura: I'm digging it round because I don't want it square, and if you disagree, it doesn't bother me.

Laura: And that's the place where the hole is going to be.

Laura: So he's defending his right to dig a hole.

Laura: There must be a secondary meaning to this hole.

Laura: I think the hole must be euphemistic for something.

Ron: I think it's a political message about the rise of far right fascism.

Laura: Well, maybe this should be the theme tune of the podcast from now on.

Laura: Still 30 seconds left in this video, so I think the Bowler Hat Man might say something else.

Ron: Do you just keep listening?

Ron: I'll wait.

Ron: I'll listen to a different oh, no.

Laura: He's killed the man in the bowler hat and buried him in the hole.

Laura: Oh, God.

Laura: The punchline was he kills the man in the bowler hat and buries him in the hole.

Laura: That got dark.

Ron: Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that.

Laura: Well, anyway, that was waves.

Laura: Can't wait for the quiz.

Ron: I've been eating so well this week, I made a delicious bean chili.

Laura: Wow.

Laura: See, I'm in a hotel, so I'm doing that thing where you try and eat as much for breakfast as you can to avoid eating again for as long as possible through the day.

Laura: And I'm doing so well.

Laura: I can eat so much breakfast now, that all I need later is, like, a bag of crisps and a protein bar and I'm done and I'm good.

Ron: Wow.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: This morning I had a three course breakfast.

Laura: Three slices of bread with mayonnaise and smoked salmon, then roasted kind of potatoes or something with two different types of cheese on them, then a bowl of granola yogurt and nuts.

Ron: Wow.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I've gotten myself down to two meals a day, which is fun.

Laura: Wrong.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So I have food at eleven and at like, six.

Laura: I couldn't do that.

Laura: I have to eat the second I.

Ron: Wake up, or I go to the gym the second I wake up, and then I'll have a protein shake.

Laura: That's disgusting.

Laura: Everything you've just said there is disgusting.

Laura: Why don't you just work for Wall Street?

Ron: I basically do.

Ron: I work for big tech.

Laura: You are, you're a big tech.

Laura: Anyway, Ron, we need to do a quiz.

Laura: I'm worried about this quiz because, one, I was sad a bit in the episode.

Laura: Two, it was a long time ago.

Laura: Three, it was very boring.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And I'm not convinced this is the right quiz.

Laura: That might give me a better chance of getting it right, though.

Ron: I don't want to do a normal episode.

Laura: Yeah, it's hard to get back to normal after the fun of we did.

Ron: Our lovely gay episode and then we did Halloween for ages.

Laura: Now we're just back to waves.

Laura: Yeah, but listen, this is the podcast people have come to love.

Laura: It's the one we must.

Laura: Do.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: All right.

Ron: Question one.

Ron: What are the two different types of wave?

Ron: No, this isn't the right quiz.

Ron: I haven't written a quiz.

Ron: Hang on, hang on, hang on.

Laura: Is this the quiz for the other time we did waves?

Laura: This must be the wave.

Ron: Yeah, this will be the quiz from before that I just made no notes.

Laura: For the live let's just do that quiz again and see if I can do it this time.

Ron: No, I'll pull some questions up my caboose and we'll see how we get on.

Ron: Properties of waves.

Ron: Yes, that's what we were doing.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Laura, what's the formula for wave?

Laura: Speed of a wave equals frequency times wavelength.

Laura: Yeah, brilliant.

Ron: Sorry for brapping.

Laura: Are you Hercules Mulligan?

Ron: What's the formula for period plus a lot of complaining.

Ron: Am I right?

Laura: One over frequency.

Ron: Yes, that is also true and correct.

Ron: What's the definition of amplitude?

Laura: Amplitude is the height it's the distance from the top point of the wave to the X axis.

Ron: I'll give you that.

Ron: The wording in the syllabus is the amplitude of a wave is the maximum displacement of a point on a wave away from its undisturbed position.

Laura: Yeah, and I was never going to say that.

Ron: What's the definition of a wavelength?

Laura: That is the distance from I feel like we've done this quiz.

Laura: I've answered this question before.

Laura: Anyway, I thought we'd done the quiz.

Laura: I don't know where the recording is.

Ron: When did we talk about Bernard Cribbins?

Laura: Did we talk about Bernard Cribbins?

Ron: There was one episode where we listened to Bernard Cribbins and we sang Bernard Cribbins.

Laura: Maybe we've done this quiz.

Laura: Where is it, then?

Ron: No, but I didn't have a quiz written, so we couldn't have.

Laura: When did we talk about is Bernard Cribbins?

Laura: Maybe it was in the second half of this episode.

Ron: Yeah, I think it was.

Ron: Oh, Cribsy.

Laura: God, this whole gust has such an air of people wandering around an abandoned asylum.

Laura: Just did we talk about Bernard Cribbins?

Laura: How are you?

Laura: When was that?

Laura: Yesterday.

Laura: What's a wave?

Laura: I don't know.

Ron: We've done this quiz.

Laura: A wavelength is the distance between a point on a wave to the same point on the next wave.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: What symbol represents wavelengths?

Laura: Oh, it's that little diplodocus.

Ron: What's that called?

Laura: Wavelength.

Ron: No, what's the symbol called?

Laura: Why?

Laura: Wooban.

Laura: No, schmeigle.

Ron: It's like if a baby ship was being stupid.

Laura: A baby ship was being stupid.

Ron: Baby sheep.

Laura: Oh, dumb.

Laura: Lamb.

Ron: Lamb.

Ron: Duh.

Laura: Lamb.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: Like the drama school.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What's the unit of wavelength?

Laura: Wavelength meters.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: What's the unit of frequency?

Ron: Hertz, sometimes, yeah.

Laura: Let's say saddest thing you've ever done.

Ron: Let's say that's the end of the quiz.

Laura: All right.

Laura: Well done, me.

Ron: Yeah, real good, man.

Laura: Well, apart from that bit where we forgot everything that was happening.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Apart from the Bernard Gribbins episode we had in the middle, it was pretty good.

Laura: Which people have presumably just listened to.

Ron: Disclaimer that was like, what, a month ago?

Laura: Yeah, it was ages ago, man.

Laura: Man.

Laura: So don't even us with your complaints.

Laura: Go away.

Laura: We'll see you next week.

Ron: Do you want to do a quick fact with Ron to end the episode?

Laura: A little cheeky one?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: To tease content that people might have already heard?

Laura: Yeah, all right.

Ron: You have to intro it.

Ron: Are you still melting ice to get water?

Laura: Yes, Ron.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Drink out the tap, you f****** like I said, I'm eating a lot of crisps and not drinking any water.

Ron: Yeah, drink out of the tap.

Laura: I kind of am, but I'm boiling it first, so I have to wait until the ice and the meat in the middle.

Ron: Why haven't you asked someone?

Laura: Because I don't want to talk to anyone.

Laura: You're literally the only person I'm speaking to other than audiences.

Laura: Ron and all the other acts think I'm weird here now because I got to the gig last night and then spontaneously nosebleed everywhere.

Ron: Yeah, because you're not.

Ron: Because you're drinking boiled water that you're then cooling down with ice.

Ron: Of course they think you're weird.

Laura: I haven't told them about that.

Laura: Have.

Ron: Anyway.

Laura: Hello.

Laura: It's time for a quick fact with Ron.

Ron: Some caterpillars.

Ron: Avoid becoming a bird's lunch by looking exactly like the last thing a bird wants to eat.

Ron: Colon.

Ron: Bird poop.

Laura: I like the way that you said colon out loud, because colon bird poop.

Laura: Oh, no, they don't have a colon, they have a cloacre.

Laura: Ignore.

Laura: I actually think I learn better when depressed.

Laura: Run.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Probably back to the first bit of that.

Laura: I'm like, oh, I'm listening to you and repeating back the correct answers.

Ron: And I guess you were right all along.

Ron: Not good when you do that.

Ron: Not the best content.

Laura: No, it's not a fun episode.

Laura: It's better when I have no interest.

Ron: Chock full of cribbins.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Or you'll be pleased to know that today I have no interest in paying attention and I'm quite chirpy.

Ron: Lovely.

Ron: I have no idea if I've prepared for today's episode.

Laura: You'd better have ron.

Laura: You'd absolutely better have.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Well, just because we need to give him a good banging.

Laura: POW, POW.

Ron: I don't think I have.

Laura: Ron, you said you'd do it yesterday.

Laura: Because we didn't record yesterday.

Laura: I didn't say yeah, you were prepping for the live show anyway.

Laura: Ron, we need to do a birthday shout out for this week.

Laura: Ron, we need to do a birthday shout out for this week.

Ron: Whose birthday is handsome's?

Ron: Got a birthday.

Laura: Handsome's getting older.

Laura: Handsome survived another year.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Eat s***, Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cabain.

Ron: This boy's 28 on Thursday.

Laura: Boop, boop, boop.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Happy birthday, Ron.

Laura: I bought your birthday card yesterday.

Ron: Lovely.

Ron: I bought your first Christmas present from me the other day.

Laura: That's very exciting.

Laura: That's really exciting.

Laura: One month until Advent calendars begin.

Ron: Bloody h***.

Ron: Eleven pounds a day.

Laura: I'm going to tell you, that is basically all the podcasts going to be in December.

Laura: Intros Outros is just going to be a rundown of what I've opened that week.

Ron: Love it.

Laura: Very excited.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: All right, then.

Laura: Should we do the register?

Laura: Should we say thank you?

Laura: Oh, we should say there's a new patreon episode in the feed.

Laura: Laughter Two, our second look at laughter theory.

Laura: Second look at it.

Laura: But covering chapters one to three.

Ron: Because it's nice that those go off so much now.

Laura: Yeah, I enjoy it every other week now.

Laura: It's fun.

Ron: Yeah, it's chock full of content.

Laura: Yeah, it's fun.

Laura: It's a really fun episode.

Laura: I'm enjoying the laughter ones.

Laura: I'm looking forward to recording another one.

Laura: That's part of an ongoing series that we're doing where I'm teaching Ron about my favorite subject.

Laura: Yeah, that's out now.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Double patreon.

Laura: So, yeah, we've got Laughter out now and then in two weeks time, it will be Rusty Sugar.

Ron: Rusty Sugar.

Laura: Ron and I wrote some fictional stories about rusty sugar and we've recorded them and they are ready to go.

Laura: So do join Forward slash Lexeducation to support the podcast.

Laura: And, oh, huge news, Ron.

Laura: The Leicester Festival tickets are now on sale.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So if you couldn't get tickets to yesterday's show at the Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival, because we sold out in, like, 24 hours, then jump on some tickets to the Leicester Festival.

Laura: We are at the Black Horse in Austin on, I want to say the 16 February, the 18 February at four in the afternoon, sunday the 18th at 04:00 p.m..

Laura: So just do a little search for the Leicester Festival.

Laura: There you go.

Ron: Lovely.

Ron: I haven't told you this yet, but the gentle boy might need to be in the show on Sunday.

Ron: Yeah, because he doesn't have a ticket, but he's going to be there, so.

Laura: He might gentle Boy.

Ron: I was thinking Gentle Boy's Corner, and we'll throw to him every now and again.

Laura: I love gentle Boys Corner.

Laura: It's like the opposite of the naughty step.

Laura: It's a corner you have to go to when you're a gentle boy.

Laura: You've been so gentle all day.

Laura: Go and sit over there.

Laura: Well, have a lovely birthday, Ron.

Ron: Thank you.

Laura: See, that's more timeline fuckery, isn't it?

Laura: There?

Laura: I said, if you didn't get tickets yesterday and then you're like, in two days, he might have to be part of it.

Ron: Yeah, and I'm still 27 now, but when you listen, I'll still be 27, but a few days closer.

Laura: What fun.

Laura: All right, lab rats, have a lovely week.

Ron: No, we have to do the register.

Laura: Oh, we have to do the register.

Laura: We do.

Laura: That's very true.

Ron: We haven't spoken in a few days.

Laura: No.

Ron: Patreon register do.

Laura: I tried to go for a bit of whatever his name is that composes Home Alone music there.

Ron: John Williams.

Laura: That's it.

Laura: All I can think of is John Humphreys, so that's not who it is.

Ron: Hold the phone.

Ron: Home Alone is your go to when you're thinking of John Williams.

Ron: Yeah, that's f****** mental.

Ron: No, not Harry Potter or Star Wars or Jaws or, like, Jurassic Park.

Laura: No.

Laura: Home alone.

Laura: It's a bit more iconic than any of those.

Ron: Can you do the register?

Laura: Do you want to do the register?

Ron: All right.

Ron: Big old Lex education.

Ron: Double thank you to Robin Rex, chief closer upper for Wes Anderson, in charge of picking Bill Murray's nose hair.

Ron: Ready for the emotional close up?

Laura: Beautiful.

Laura: Thanks, Robin.

Laura: A big thank you to single name patron.

Laura: Vivian.

Laura: It's.

Ron: No surname.

Laura: Simply Vivian.

Laura: Vivian is the robot that getting sent a small code of numbers prevents from being able to log into some services.

Laura: Vivian is I didn't understand that sentence.

Laura: I don't know if you could tell from the reading.

Laura: Vivian is the robot that getting sent a small oh, I remember now.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: That getting sent a small code of numbers prevents from being able to log into some services.

Laura: So sorry about that, Vivian.

Laura: Sorry.

Laura: There are services you can't use, but someone's got to be you, babes, and it's you.

Laura: Thank you for being a patron.

Ron: And finally, thank you to Angela Fell, who is the person who tells Bernard Cribbons where to dig his hole and what shape it should be.

Ron: Parentheses, parentheses.

Ron: Not here and not square.

Laura: Important job, Angela.

Laura: Thank you for your service.

Laura: And back in his lane, Cribbins man.

Laura: Bet he never thought he'd be on this podcast, but no one saw that Cribbins turn coming.

Ron: Cribbins education.

Ron: Not a crossover anyone saw coming.

Laura: Oh, Cribs.

Laura: All right, Ron.

Laura: Have a lovely birthday.

Laura: I'll see you on Sunday.

Ron: But it already happened yesterday.

Laura: Time is bendy.

Laura: Bye bye.

Ron: Bye.

Laura: No class dismiss.

Monday, 30 October 2023

Two Fun Tongue Facts - Halloween Special 2 2023

 Laura: Hello and welcome to Lexx Education!
Laura: The Comedy Science podcast where comedian Me Laura can't think of a Halloween name when I'm already halfway through saying it.
Laura: Laura spectral rora.
Laura: Like a lion.
Ron: Like a spooky lion.
Laura: Lion rora.
Laura: Lex hex hex.
Laura: Laura hex.
Laura: Anyway, back to this worst introduction for any podcast ever, which a normal podcast.
Ron: Also, are we doing?
Laura: We're just rerecording.
Ron: Are we doing an intro outro right now?
Laura: Yes, a special episode.
Ron: Okay, but we're doing intros outros for the other Halloween?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Ron, we're terrible at this.
Laura: Really bad.
Ron: People have already heard that, haven't yeah.
Laura: It was last week, mate.
Laura: We haven't recorded the intro yet.
Laura: Why didn't we just do it as part of the episode?
Ron: It was the same room episode.
Ron: We were Gidy.
Laura: We were giddy.
Laura: We love to drink petrol tea.
Laura: Oh, yeah, forgot about that.
Laura: It's not a same room episode today.
Laura: Not even a same country episode today.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: No, you're in Norway.
Laura: I am in Norway, which I was just telling you about.
Laura: And then we got halfway through and decided we'd save it to have this conversation in front of you guys.
Laura: So I was just telling Ron, I'm over in Norway and I'm hosting a week of shows here, but I'm the only act doing their set in English.
Laura: The other acts are all Norwegians and so just doing their set in Norwegian, which makes perfect sense.
Laura: We're in Norway, but I don't speak Norwegian or understand it and I can't tell jokes in it.
Laura: So I am sort of like, hosting the show in English and then I introduce an act, go and sit down.
Laura: The audience lasts for 15 minutes and I have no idea what's going on, and then just have to come back up and carry on the show.
Laura: I have learned, though, that ecstasy pill is the same in English and Norwegian.
Ron: You'd think the pill would be translatable.
Laura: Ecstasy pill.
Laura: Exactly the same in both languages.
Ron: Are you going clubbing?
Ron: And so you're learning this?
Laura: No, it was in somebody's set and I was like, oh, this is a joke about an ecstasy pill.
Laura: I think he also mentioned Michael Jackson.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I don't know what the jokes were about, but, hey, I understood those setups.
Laura: But, yes, I'm having a lovely time.
Laura: I only got here yesterday, so I haven't really done much.
Laura: And I was here last year.
Ron: Oh, hello.
Ron: I'm Ron.
Laura: Oh, yeah, he's ron.
Laura: Hello, Ron.
Laura: How are you?
Ron: Yeah, I'm good.
Laura: Good.
Laura: Back to me.
Laura: Yeah, so I only got here yesterday, so I haven't done loads yet because today I just kind of had a workout this morning.
Laura: I did an hour of calming yoga and then I had a big meeting with my agency planning next year and then just chilled out and got a load of work done.
Laura: Edited an episode that's not due to go out till January, but we actually recorded it so long ago, I was like, sat down to edit it and was like, Holy s***.
Laura: We are still very egathon heavy.
Laura: Not going out until January, but, yeah, a fun episode.
Ron: Nice.
Laura: But it's Halloween week.
Ron: I've been doing a big cook today.
Laura: Oh, what you cooked?
Laura: Ron?
Ron: Making falafel and all the trimmings.
Laura: What is the trimming with falafel?
Laura: Like tatsiki.
Ron: Yeah, I made vegan satsiki, I've made a Tabale, I've made salsa verde, made a Greek salad.
Laura: Mate, it's like cooking with Ron again.
Laura: Look at you.
Ron: I forgot we made all these things.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Do you remember cook along?
Laura: What a weird night that was.
Laura: That was fun.
Ron: Talk about again sometime.
Laura: No.
Laura: Tom was so sad about all the cleaning up.
Laura: We should do it again, but clean up after ourselves.
Ron: But Tom got all the delicious food.
Laura: Yeah, all right.
Laura: 500 patrons.
Laura: We'll do another cook along.
Ron: Yeah, b******.
Laura: Yeah, b******.
Laura: Speaking of patrons, I think there'll be a special episode out this Friday, because we've now doubled the content.
Laura: I think it's the second laughter episode.
Laura: It's going yeah, we're looking more about laughter theory.
Laura: Yeah, that'll be out this Friday, so join the patreon or we'll haunt you.
Laura: Halloween spooky.
Laura: Are you going trick or treating for Halloween, Ron?
Ron: No, I am going to a fancy dress party this weekend.
Laura: Oh, what are you going as?
Ron: So it's poirot themed, so I've bought some ear muffs and an inflatable crocodile and I'm deaf on the Nile.
Laura: I love it, Ron.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Yes, because poirot, I didn't want to just go as some fancy lad, which I think a lot of people are going to do.
Ron: And also, I love a costume that you can abandon easily.
Laura: Yes, I'm not doing that for the fancy dress thing I'm going to this month, which actually will be the night before the live show.
Laura: I'm going to a Labyrinth party.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Laura: You don't want to go that way.
Laura: You'll go straight to that castle.
Laura: Yeah, I am going as the worm.
Ron: That's what I wanted to go to that party.
Laura: Yeah, you should come, mate.
Laura: Oh, no, you're in London that weekend.
Laura: Yeah, I'm taking charge of the podcast trick or treating, though.
Ron: Oh, cute.
Laura: Because I will be up in Scotland shire for Halloween.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And obviously niece are going.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So they're going to go trick or treating together.
Laura: They were going to go as Pain and Panic from Hercules, which I think would have been dead cute.
Laura: But nephew of the podcast has changed his mind and wants to go as Peter Pan, so child of the podcast will be going as Tinkerbell, but Tinkerbell in a coat.
Laura: I don't think Inverness at that time of year is going to be you.
Ron: Can'T be that slutty at that time of the year.
Laura: No bustier for you, child of the podcast.
Laura: But anyway, Ron, anyway, that's all in the future for us and in the Today for the listener or the Yesterday, depending on how prompt a listener they.
Ron: Are, or if you're listening to this in three, four years time a couple of years ago.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Or maybe you're using this to discern what civilization was like in 2023.
Laura: It was mainly brother sister podcast duos, Burping.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Before we joined, we started the call, and then Ron got a message that he had to deal with, and I thought I was muted and did the worst.
Ron: Yeah, I got a call from one of the people in my team and I had to help her out with an urgent work matter.
Ron: I could just hear Laura snuffling around her hotel room like a hog, eating what were you eating?
Laura: I was eating an eat natural protein packed peanut bar.
Ron: Yeah, sounded like it.
Ron: And then she ate that and then ripped her fat burp right into the microphone.
Laura: I thought I'd muted because you said, can you mute, please?
Laura: And I swear yeah, then you just didn't.
Laura: I thought I did.
Laura: Sorry about that.
Laura: Burp.
Laura: Ron woof.
Laura: I wouldn't have left that in the podcast if it had been recorded.
Laura: I'd have had to cut that.
Laura: It was rumbly.
Ron: Yeah, it's what?
Laura: Have a hotel breakfast.
Ron: I love it.
Laura: Full of so many different foods.
Ron: Halloween spooky.
Ron: I forgot like eight times what we.
Laura: Were going to comment, even though it's in the spreadsheet.
Ron: Oh, stick your spreadsheet up your hoop.
Ron: I don't care.
Laura: Love spreadsheets and you need to know what's going on.
Laura: I don't understand why you don't love it.
Ron: No, see, this is what people like.
Ron: You get wrong about spreadsheets all the time.
Ron: You go.
Ron: Oh, ron loves spreadsheets.
Ron: He's going to love this spreadsheet I make.
Ron: No, I like to do, like, complex formulas and stuff.
Ron: I'm forever getting asked for help in Excel.
Ron: And then I get real excited, like they want some juicy freaking formulas in there, and they're like, can you help me format this, please?
Ron: Every f****** time.
Laura: Well, you can at least appreciate my organization, though, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, I like it.
Ron: I just don't look at it.
Laura: But then you don't know what's going on.
Ron: I do a good job.
Laura: I made a new tab today.
Laura: Plans for social media to try and boost our audience.
Ron: Nice.
Ron: What's in there?
Laura: Well, you remember some of the things we talked about last time I brought this up?
Laura: Like, you recording videos of facts.
Laura: And then I bought you that fact book so you could write facts.
Ron: Yes, it's that mainly, Laura, I've moved country.
Laura: Hey.
Laura: And no one's more proud of you than me.
Laura: But now it's time for me to start prodding you again.
Ron: Okay, I'm just not good at you wanted me to just record, like, stock phrases to camera.
Laura: I tried that as an idea.
Laura: You didn't like it.
Laura: We never revisited it.
Laura: Now I just need you to look at the camera and tell interesting facts.
Ron: Look, Laura, I'm one of life's great improvisers.
Laura: You cannot yeah, so just improvise to a camera.
Ron: Ron it can't be done like that.
Laura: Yeah, well, it f****** has to be, because otherwise we're never going to have more listeners.
Laura: And that can't happen.
Ron: We have to come up with a cool, natural I'll get drunk and do it.
Laura: All right, do that.
Laura: I don't care.
Ron: Yeah, that's fine.
Ron: All right.
Ron: Halloween.
Ron: Whoa.
Laura: The handset of this phone is so heavy anyway.
Laura: Halloween.
Ron: So we're carrying on.
Laura: Maybe it's heavy because it's haunted and full of ghosts.
Laura: Halloween themed destructure.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: So we're carrying on our path through oh, no.
Ron: F****** h***.
Laura: I've finished my tea.
Laura: But look, the bag had clearly broken and there's lots of loose tea in the bottom.
Laura: Sorry, Ron.
Ron: What's the spookiest thing in the room you're in, Laura?
Laura: Probably this very annoying lamp behind me that is just so impractical.
Laura: I don't understand why you'd ever make it.
Laura: See this here?
Laura: It's stooped like Quasimodo and it swings wildly through the room attacking you wrong.
Ron: Oh, something that haunts the nightmares.
Ron: Very Halloween themed.
Laura: My womb.
Ron: That's the funniest thing you've done in a while.
Laura: Thanks, Ron.
Ron: I was listening to the Moon episode recently, and that little song that I sing at the beginning really made me laugh.
Laura: That's a good job.
Laura: We amuse ourselves.
Ron: Yeah, this is mainly for us when.
Laura: We do any social media stuff, and it is just us listening to it every week.
Laura: Hey, then we can really stop doing all this stuff for the mainstream.
Laura: No, Laura, I edited the pop quiz, too.
Laura: That's going out in January today.
Laura: And for a full five minutes, we just laugh over my pronunciation of the word propanon.
Ron: I remember that.
Laura: Little sneak peek of what's going out on the patreon in January 2024.
Ron: No, Laurie, I'm talking about your skeleton.
Ron: Dembones.
Laura: Dembones, as I call it.
Laura: My womb prison.
Ron: Shouldn't have gone back to the it's perfect.
Laura: The first it's a callback man.
Laura: We'll edit it.
Ron: Done.
Ron: I've really enjoyed my research on the skeleton.
Ron: First fact for you, Laura.
Ron: First fact.
Ron: There's loads of different types of skeletons.
Laura: Can you name any EXO?
Ron: Yep.
Laura: Indo.
Ron: Endo.
Laura: Endo.
Laura: Soft.
Ron: Did you know that some things have what's called a hydroskeleton?
Laura: What?
Laura: Like an inflatable with water?
Ron: Kind of a flexible internal structure supported by the hydrostatic pressure of body fluids.
Laura: Hang on, that's ringing a bell.
Laura: I feel like I've encountered something that does that.
Laura: And then they can change their body shape depending on where they shoot water to.
Ron: Yeah, I think I've seen that on.
Laura: A documentary somewhere or something.
Ron: But no, things like bugs, they have exoskeletons.
Ron: That's a shell.
Ron: Effectively.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Humans, mammals, birds, lizards, dogs, horses, they all have endoskeletons.
Laura: Yes, birds have very light bones because they need to be able to fly.
Ron: Yes, humans have normal bones.
Laura: No, that is ethnocentric or whatever the word is for species.
Laura: Centric thinking.
Ron: Yeah, it's my reference.
Laura: Mammalian centric.
Laura: I don't know what we'd call it.
Ron: Anthrocentric.
Laura: Sure.
Ron: Here's a fun fact.
Ron: Laura, do you know where the word skeleton comes from?
Laura: Skeleton?
Laura: Scally scale.
Laura: Greek.
Ron: Yes, ancient Greek.
Laura: But for what?
Laura: Let's say it's ancient Greek for scaffolding.
Ron: No, it's ancient Greek for dried up.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, I guess because they mainly found skeletons, like, with no bodies in them, rather than thinking about the skeleton inside us.
Ron: What on earth you think this?
Laura: Well, because I don't think of my skeleton as dried up because it's covered in mush.
Laura: But if I found a skeleton out in the wild, it would be like a pirate skeleton, like dusty, with a diamond in its mouth.
Laura: Do you remember that bit in Rescue down under with the Devil's Bayou?
Laura: And it was like, glinting in his eye and she had to prize it open with a sword or poor pen.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So a couple of things on that.
Laura: Oh, I suppose actually, they'd have eaten animals and found the skeletons in there.
Laura: That would be the most common skeleton, wouldn't it?
Laura: Do you remember?
Laura: In Asterisk?
Laura: Nobilix.
Laura: When he'd eat a wild boar and he'd just, like, pull the whole skeleton out?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So that was going to be one of my points, is that they probably saw a lot of bones.
Ron: Also, I think Greek lads, they were forming phalanxes at the weekend and bashing their neighbors.
Ron: I think they saw quite a lot of human skeletons in the wet.
Laura: So why are they talking about it being dry bones, then?
Ron: Well, that was going to be my other point, actually, Laura, is the English word skeleton comes from the ancient Greek for dried up.
Ron: I am not saying it's not coming from the ancient Greek for skeleton.
Laura: So we're the idiots, not the Greeks.
Laura: What did Greeks call a skeleton?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: Me neither.
Laura: But then we just started calling it a dry up.
Laura: That doesn't make any sense.
Ron: Hang on.
Ron: Ancient Greek translator.
Laura: Come for the Gory halloween details stay for the ancient Greek.
Ron: Translator come for percy, I don't know how to work oh, what, it's just going to be a Greek word.
Ron: This isn't going to tell us anything.
Laura: And then you'll translate it and it'll say skeleton.
Laura: But that's the trouble with the Greeks, they don't have much etymology, do they, because they just invented it all.
Ron: No, that's not true, is it?
Ron: Next fact, do you know how many bones a human has?
Laura: 300 and something?
Ron: No.
Laura: 292.
Ron: No.
Laura: 570.
Ron: No.
Laura: 400 and something.
Ron: No.
Laura: 200 and something.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: 270.
Ron: No.
Ron: Well, you should have actually asked.
Ron: Depends how old they are.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You have more when you're a kid, didn't you?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So you actually start at 270 ish, and then that decreases to 206, which.
Laura: The thought of that is four bones go away.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: What meld together?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Where joints have you got?
Ron: Well, you'd have fewer joints, wouldn't you?
Laura: No, I mean as a kid.
Ron: Well, like your skull is in, like, ten parts or something when you're a kid, that's how you slide out a f****.
Ron: Yikes.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So it can keep growing.
Laura: So what, then?
Laura: Are your legs in two parts?
Ron: I don't think so.
Laura: What else is in two parts?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: You got more spine.
Laura: No, kids are bendy.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Got more arms.
Laura: How can you just have all these extra bones, kid?
Ron: Extra bones.
Laura: Oh, got extra foot bones, I think.
Ron: Bone spurs and children's feet.
Ron: What?
Ron: Extra bones?
Laura: Why do human babies have more bones?
Laura: They're all really far apart from each other as well.
Ron: Yeah, babies are disgusting.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I'm inclined to agree, actually.
Ron: Ron yeah.
Ron: Anyway, how much of your body in mass is made up of your bones?
Laura: 30%, 14?
Laura: Surely.
Laura: That depends how fat you are, though.
Laura: Or how muscular.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: It's about 11 an average person.
Laura: Jeez, all right.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Oh, man.
Laura: That means reaches me as other stuff.
Ron: 86%.
Ron: You reach maximum mass of your bones between the ages of 25 and 30.
Ron: So I'm approaching maximum bone mass.
Laura: I'm undensifying.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Well, no, you might have plateaued on good mass.
Laura: Yeah, hopefully.
Laura: I eat a lot of yogurt.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: That's calcium, isn't it?
Ron: What are you doing?
Ron: What are you reading about?
Laura: Nothing.
Laura: I'm just arranging the screen so that I can see the recording and you I really want to go and blow my nose.
Ron: Don't do that.
Ron: The human skeleton.
Laura: Laura yeah.
Ron: Human skeleton is split into two different parts.
Laura: Eh, so you've got more parts than that.
Laura: Ron it's 206.
Ron: Well, there's two different sections, I guess, up and down.
Ron: Now you got the axial and the appendicular.
Ron: Oh, so the axial is kind of your trunk.
Laura: I don't have a trunk.
Laura: I am a lady.
Ron: You're all trunk.
Laura: No, I've got an inverse trunk.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yeah, like your trunk torso.
Ron: Ron no, trunk from b*** to head.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Pelvis.
Laura: And that your core, your trunk ribs.
Ron: Why are you not accepting the word trunk?
Laura: Because I was doing a trunk being a d*** bit.
Laura: And you've just breezed past it.
Ron: I've rejected it.
Ron: It's not good enough.
Laura: Well.
Ron: You got the axial skeleton that's made up of 80 bones.
Laura: And then you've got the Allied skeleton.
Ron: None left of them, actually.
Laura: My war climbing.
Ron: Everyone's the bad guys now.
Laura: It is grim.
Ron: Spine.
Ron: That's 34 bones, man.
Laura: That's a lot when you've only got 200 and 634 in one piece of apparatus.
Ron: Well, here's a f***** up thing right?
Ron: There's so many f****** bones in your hand.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Hands and feet are big, Bonyo places, aren't they?
Ron: If you lost your hands, you'd have lost over half your bone.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: The whole middle bit doesn't even really move that much.
Laura: That's a lot.
Ron: Imagine, right?
Ron: Like, you got a call from one of my friends, and they're like, Ron's been in a terrible accident.
Ron: He's lost half his bones.
Ron: You'd be like, what the f***?
Laura: And then they were like, I assume I'm on the phone to Noah here because no, one else would describe an accident in these terms.
Ron: And then they were like, yeah, his hands were ripped off.
Ron: You'd be like, oh, phew.
Laura: Just that or you're just some hands now.
Laura: Like two little things.
Ron: I saw a tweet the other day that was like a snapshot of one of those films, that implied thing jerks Uncle Fester off.
Laura: Oh, no, it was like an actual.
Ron: Quote from the movie.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then you got the rib cage that's part of your that's part of your axial skeleton as well.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Ribs are weird, aren't they?
Laura: There's like that one at the bottom that's just doing nothing.
Ron: I don't think you have one at the bottom.
Laura: Yeah, I have.
Laura: Comes about halfway as long as all the other ones and just sits there.
Laura: And most of them go up into the big butterfly shape.
Laura: And then there's one that just sits underneath yeah, on both sides.
Laura: I can feel it.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: On both sides.
Laura: Have you got an extra one that's men have?
Ron: An extra rib?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: That's what women are made of, isn't it?
Ron: I think so.
Ron: F****** daft.
Ron: F****** stupid religion.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I mean, it's not my favorite thing, but it's doing so much good in the world.
Ron: And then you got your head, the skull.
Ron: You know how many bones are in your skull?
Laura: 1422.
Laura: What?
Laura: Where?
Laura: Like your jaw and your skull.
Laura: What else is there?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: A teeth.
Ron: Bones.
Laura: Outside bones.
Laura: Outside bones.
Ron: Trident gum is the chewiest gum they hang from your lips like bats.
Ron: Oh, outside bones.
Ron: Outside bones.
Ron: Everybody knows your teeth are outside bones.
Ron: And when you're a kid, they fall from your head.
Ron: So to make things less weird, we say we sold them to a demon that your parents know.
Ron: It's so funny.
Laura: Unbreakable.
Laura: Kimmy Schmidt for anybody that's wondering what this bit is and wishing to enjoy it for themselves.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: 22 bones and seven associated bones.
Laura: What are the 22 bones of the skull?
Laura: Right, hang on.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: The skull is divisible into two parts.
Laura: You got the cranium, which lodges and protects the brain.
Laura: That's got eight bones in it.
Laura: Ron occipital, two.
Ron: You really think of it as a.
Laura: Wanna, but no, it's eight pieces.
Laura: And then the skeleton of the face has 14 two nasal bones, two maxilli, two lacrimals, two zygomatics.
Laura: This skull is zygomatic.
Laura: Why is skull lightning?
Laura: Two palatines and two inferior nasal conki.
Laura: Voma and a mandible.
Laura: That's the jaw.
Ron: Speak for yourself.
Laura: Yeah, well, yours is super.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So, no, not including your outside bone teeth there.
Ron: I like this.
Ron: Snapoid the snifoid.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: Spanoidal, I think, Ron, it's just called.
Ron: A spanoid on this one.
Laura: Spanoidal ethmoidal.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Those are your 22 head bones.
Laura: Your head bones connected to that song really simplified it based on this.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Pareto is connected to the frontal to poil and occipital.
Ron: The frontal to poil and occipital connection.
Ron: psychomatic.
Ron: The sphere for it and the mandible.
Laura: Do you think people at medical school have to sing that properly with every bone, 207 bones later?
Ron: I don't think they sing to learn.
Ron: I think that selects education.
Laura: Somebody sent me a TikTok the other day that was like somebody with ADHD who's like do you know how hard it is to have a conversation when everything anybody says makes a song pop into your head?
Laura: Is that an ADHD thing?
Laura: The evidence is mounting.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You got a funny brain.
Ron: But that's okay, we like it.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It's weird how much things make you think of songs when you're not really that fussed about music.
Laura: No.
Ron: Never listen to music that must be haunting.
Ron: That would be like me just forever getting like I don't know, just sports facts popping into my head.
Ron: All the know every now and again, I just think of a really banging goal I saw.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then, Laura, you've got your appendicular bones.
Ron: So that's kind of the ones that are appendixy on the edges.
Ron: So you got your pectoral girdles, your upper limbs.
Laura: Pectoral girdle.
Ron: You got your pelvic girdle, too.
Ron: Got your pelvic girdle.
Laura: I've refused to wear a pelvic girdle since 2001.
Ron: Or pelvis is the other word for a pelvic girdle.
Laura: I think we should pelvic girdle.
Laura: That should be the name of our band.
Laura: Pelvis Resley pelvic girdle.
Laura: When we're doing Lex.
Laura: Education the musical can be the in house band.
Ron: All right, I like it.
Ron: And the lower limbs, it says on Wikipedia, their functions are to make locomotion possible and to protect the major organs of digestion, excretion and reproduction.
Laura: Saving your pooh glands basically protect the s******.
Ron: Come on.
Laura: Nobody lives forever.
Laura: I've been turned into a cow.
Laura: Can I go home?
Ron: Other fun bone facts I found, Laura, the only bone in the human body not connected to another is the hyoid, which is why you don't hear about it in the song.
Ron: A V shaped bone located at the base of the tongue.
Laura: There's a bone at the back of your tongue where base is base the back or the front?
Laura: That's the tip, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: That's fun.
Laura: Because that's two tongue fact.
Laura: Fun tongue.
Laura: Two fun tongue two fun tongue facts.
Laura: That's hard to say.
Laura: Try and say that.
Laura: Two fun tongue facts.
Ron: Two fun tongue facts.
Laura: You said it okay because the tongue is the only muscle in the body that's only connected at one end.
Laura: And now it's got the only bone that's not connected to anything.
Ron: What's the highoid?
Ron: The high OID is connected to nothing.
Laura: What's it for then?
Laura: Just for stability?
Ron: It's v shaped.
Laura: No, Ron, what's it for?
Laura: Edit out you typing.
Laura: If you find out, insert some music which will make it seem like Ron knows the answer here.
Ron: Now, it's funny that you should ask that lawyer, because the highoid bone, it's horseshoe shaped bone situated at the anterior midline of the neck between the chin and the thyroid cartilage.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: It's classed as an irregular bone.
Ron: It has horns, greater horns.
Ron: Lesser horns.
Ron: Horns, yeah.
Ron: Function.
Ron: Now I'm going to talk about the function that I know.
Ron: It's present in many mammals.
Ron: It allows a wider range of tongue, pharyngeal and laryngeal movement.
Laura: Okay, so that's what it's for, then.
Laura: I'm trying to drink my water, but the ice won't melt water.
Ron: So this bone allows us basically to it makes us allows us to make a wider range of sounds.
Laura: That's really useful because without that, we wouldn't have podcasting.
Ron: We also wouldn't have podcasting on no, that's wrong.
Laura: Advert.
Ron: Its descent in living creatures is not unique to H*** sapiens and does not allow the production of a wide range of sounds.
Laura: Well, bloody h***.
Laura: Contradict yourself, moron.
Ron: No, I misread it the first time.
Ron: With a lower larynx, men do not produce a wider range of sounds than women and two year old babies.
Ron: Moreover, the larynx position of neanderthals was not a handicap in producing speech sounds.
Ron: That's quite obnoxious, isn't it?
Laura: Sorry, Ron, I don't know if I can drink the tap water here.
Laura: And there's no water on this floor.
Laura: There's only an ice machine.
Laura: So I'm having to fill my water bottle with ice and then melt it with a bit of kettle water.
Ron: I'm sure you can.
Ron: It's Scandinavia.
Ron: Can you drink?
Ron: Where are you?
Laura: Oslo.
Ron: Oslo tap water.
Ron: In summary, La tap water is legally safe to drink.
Laura: La?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I misspelled Oslo.
Laura: As Los Angeles.
Ron: Tap water is considered safe to drink all over Norway.
Laura: Fabulous.
Laura: Well done, Norway.
Laura: I shall be hydrated at last.
Ron: Did you?
Ron: Here's something that f***** me up earlier.
Ron: Turtle shells.
Ron: You know that's their ribs.
Ron: No, outside ribs.
Ron: Outside ribs.
Ron: Everybody knows your shell is outside ribs.
Laura: I did see a thing the other day that was like, you've got to stop considering turtles and tortoises going inside their shell.
Laura: That is them.
Ron: But they still go inside it.
Ron: My finger is still in my b*******.
Laura: Yeah, but if you go like that, that's kind of what a turtle is doing.
Laura: It's just like covering its head with its arms.
Ron: Who told you this?
Ron: And why were they wasting thought power on it?
Laura: It's the same person that popped around to tell me about the earth bulging.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I just saw it saw a picture of like an inside out turtle kind of thing.
Ron: I don't know if it was just the way you said it there, but it really smacked of the sort of social justice, kind of you have to stop considering turtles like that.
Ron: It's actually quite offensive to turtle culture.
Laura: Yeah, but I think no, what I mean is, I don't think they're like snails.
Laura: Like a snail can survive without its shell.
Laura: It's not like no, it can't.
Laura: I think it can.
Ron: No, that's not what slugs are.
Laura: I know that.
Laura: But basically like a snail.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: No, you're thinking of hermit crabs.
Laura: All right, then.
Laura: Hermit crabs.
Laura: Turtles are not like hermit crabs.
Ron: They're saying that their shells yeah, it's their ribs.
Laura: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Ron: But they can still go inside the shell.
Laura: No, they're more like tucking up than, like, going in tucking up.
Ron: Wait, let's pull that thread.
Laura: Tucking up where they're like curling up in a ball.
Laura: That's like turtle curl inside their shell, kind of.
Laura: What the f*** are you talking about?
Laura: I don't know, okay?
Laura: The meme made more sense than I currently are.
Laura: Fine.
Laura: I will google it.
Laura: Turtles going inside shell.
Laura: How do you find just a random meme you once saw?
Laura: I don't know, Ron.
Laura: And it doesn't matter.
Laura: I found a cut through of a turtle, though.
Laura: Anyway, carry on.
Ron: The guccarosaurus femur bone is the biggest bone kucharosaurus is the biggest bone ever found.
Ron: 1.9 meters.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: It weighed over 100 required well, it says this, right?
Ron: It says, which spanned 1.9 meters, was split into three parts, each weighing over 100 required three people to lift it up.
Ron: Yeah, because it was split into three pieces.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And that moral one.
Laura: Imagine what a moral one would have been because they're usually bigger in these.
Ron: Womb.
Laura: Dinosaurs didn't have wombs, did they?
Ron: No.
Laura: Cool eggs.
Ron: I'm like skeletons.
Ron: Laura do you feel spooked?
Laura: Yeah, spooky.
Ron: Spooky.
Laura: Laura spook.
Laura: Spook.
Laura: Spook.
Laura: When you're spooking, too.
Ron: Don't judge a spook by its spook.
Laura: Don't spook a dog when it's down.
Ron: Well, we've got more, though.
Ron: That's not the end of the episode, because what's the other spooky body from Halloween?
Laura: Scooby Doo.
Ron: Spooky Doo.
Laura: No, Scooby.
Laura: Spook.
Ron: It's mummies.
Laura: I am terrified of our mum.
Laura: What if she calls me, tells me about something, and I have to care?
Ron: That won't happen.
Laura: Oh, it does.
Laura: The other day to tell me what she's got the nephews for Christmas.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: She told me about that as well.
Ron: She didn't ring me, though.
Laura: Just messaged you?
Ron: No, I saw her in person at the weekend.
Laura: Were you allowed to cook?
Ron: I did cook on the Sunday, but only through a misunderstanding.
Ron: She had prepared everything.
Laura: Oh, right.
Laura: Just in case you try and put celery or carrots in it.
Ron: No, I made jerk rice.
Laura: Jerk rice?
Ron: Jerk rice.
Laura: Why did these grains cross the road?
Ron: Basmati.
Ron: Oh, I got one.
Ron: I got one.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Why did rice?
Ron: Walks into a barman, says, Why the long grain?
Laura: I love it.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Good work.
Ron: So, mummies.
Ron: Laura not a lot on mummies, science wise.
Laura: Really?
Laura: I would have thought the embalming would be full of science.
Ron: Well, no, it wasn't, unfortunately, I did.
Ron: Look.
Ron: I found something in The New Scientist about mummification and stuff.
Laura: Does anywhere still mummify people?
Ron: Well, there's two types of mummies, man.
Ron: There's spontaneous and anthropological.
Ron: So, spontaneous mummies, they're happening everywhere.
Laura: What, like if you fall into a peat bog?
Ron: If you fall into a peat bog.
Ron: If you went in a dry cave and died, you might.
Ron: Become a mummy.
Laura: A dry cave.
Ron: A dry cave.
Laura: Maybe that's why we call bone skeletons.
Laura: We found them all in dry caves.
Ron: Well, no, because then they'd be mummies and non skeletons.
Laura: You make very good points, Ron.
Ron: So a mummy is just a dead human or animal whose soft tissues and organs have been preserved, either intentionally or accidentally, by chemicals, extreme cold, very low humidity or a lack of air so that the recovered body does not decay further if kept in cool and dry conditions.
Laura: Why are they called mummies?
Ron: Well, thanks for asking, Laura.
Ron: The English word mummy is the English word mummy is derived from the Latin mumia borrowing of the medieval Arabic word mumia, which meant an embalmed corpse.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Just a straight translation, and then we've Britishified it.
Laura: We will not try and pronounce your words.
Ron: So up until the 16th century, like, around then, mummy only specifically meant, like, a proper on purpose Egypty one like a peat bog lad wouldn't have counted, but now we do use it for both.
Laura: But I bet when people were finding peat bog, people back in the day, they weren't knowing how long it they weren't like, hey, this guy's been here forever.
Laura: They were probably like, what's?
Laura: This critter probably died last week.
Laura: Look at you.
Laura: Like, they wouldn't have known he's been preserved.
Ron: Or they probably looked strange and then they thought it was some kind of demon or something.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Mummies are found around the world.
Ron: There's lots of different cultures that have mummified things.
Ron: Over 1 million animal mummies have been.
Laura: Found in Egypt, and here I am.
Ron: Many of those cats.
Laura: Don'T know.
Laura: Can't remember any of the songs from cats.
Laura: It was too harrowing memories.
Ron: Mummy, the oldest mummy ever found, was found in Spirit Cave and was a natural mummy.
Ron: 10,000 years old.
Laura: Whoa.
Laura: That's f****** old man.
Ron: It's.
Laura: Well, old Spirit cave.
Ron: North America in Nevada.
Laura: Very low humility.
Ron: He looks gross.
Laura: Spirit Cave.
Ron: Hang on, I've got a pick.
Laura: I will put this on the instagram, won't you?
Ron: He looks gross, but kind of like you want to bite into him.
Laura: I don't know if I'm going to believe it.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: He looks like one of those shells.
Ron: No, the chocolate praline shells.
Laura: The ones that look like shrimp aliens.
Laura: Like Belgian chocolates.
Laura: Yeah, he's got that kind of a hue.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And he's dabbing.
Ron: He is popping a fiery dab.
Laura: I hope I die in a cool position.
Laura: And then I want my coffee.
Laura: No, actually, I want to be burned.
Laura: I don't care.
Laura: But I hope I die in a cool position.
Ron: Yeah, he looks like a leathery bag.
Laura: Yeah, he does look like somebody's getting him ready to put him in a sous vide.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Or kind of like he'd just be out on a surface at your mum's house with them potpourri in his yeah.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: This is actually carved.
Laura: It's authentic.
Laura: None of that touristy crap.
Laura: We got it in Malta at the airport.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: Your stubble sounded real strong there.
Ron: So he's 10,000 years old, the oldest.
Laura: He's got such a crick in the neck.
Ron: Very nice.
Laura: Thank you.
Ron: The oldest deliberately made mummies.
Ron: Not Egypt?
Ron: Surprisingly, no.
Ron: From the Camarones Valley of Chile.
Laura: Oh, hello.
Laura: Chile.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They belong to the Ule people, I'm going to say.
Ron: Uhle okay, sorry.
Ron: No, they belong to what the Ule called the Chinchoro culture, which was lasted from 9000 to 3000 years ago in southern Peru and northern Chile.
Ron: They were a coastal people that lived mainly eating fish.
Laura: And how did they embalm their people then?
Laura: Were they wrapped in bandages or are we talking like done in smokers?
Laura: How did they keep recorded?
Ron: I imagine it had mostly to do with the altitude, but let's have a look.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I suppose if you put them in a cave up at high altitude.
Ron: Changed over time.
Ron: They did remove some of the organs, they put sticks in there to hold it open and then they stuffed it with vegetables.
Ron: Stuffed it with vegetables, vegetable matter.
Ron: Then they put a clay mask on.
Ron: Even if the mummy was already completely covered in dry clay, why would the.
Laura: Mummy have like if they died in a clay accident.
Ron: The mummy received a clay mask.
Ron: Even if the mummy was already completely covered in dried clay, of course.
Ron: A process which the body was wrapped in the reeds and left out to dry for 30 to 40 days.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Did they do that to everyone?
Ron: So it was much more widespread in Chintoro culture than Egyptian culture, which was obviously mainly for the lefty elite.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The oldest Egyptian mummy dates back to 5500 years ago.
Laura: And then bloody h***, spirit cave guy was already 5000 years old.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's f****** mad.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: To do, yeah.
Ron: In Egypt it became a very sophisticated part of Egyptian culture.
Ron: They loved it particular heights in the New Kingdom about 2500 years ago, they.
Laura: Used to pull all the brain out and not care about it, didn't they?
Laura: Because they thought it was just gubins.
Ron: Yeah, they definitely well, they pulled all.
Laura: The organs out, but like some of them different jars.
Laura: Jars.
Laura: But I think the brain they just used to throw away because they didn't know what it was.
Laura: They just thought it was goop.
Ron: Interesting.
Ron: I didn't know that.
Laura: Unless that's like a common Qi idiot noise.
Ron: Maybe they had different ways of doing it.
Ron: Do you want to hear about one of them?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So Herodotus described these.
Ron: Father of history.
Ron: Herodotus.
Laura: Big up, big h.
Laura: Hey daddy h.
Ron: The most perfect method is so this is what would happen to like pharaohs and stuff like that.
Ron: I think it was expensive and it would preserve the body by dehydration.
Ron: Like a lot of this, it seems, was so that insects and stuff wouldn't get the bodies because that was bad.
Ron: So it says here, Laura, first the brain was removed from the cranium through the nose.
Ron: The gray matter was discarded.
Ron: Yeah, interesting.
Ron: So they did this with an iron hook.
Ron: That sounds rank.
Ron: A rod was used to liquefy the brain inside the cranium and then drained out the nose via gravity.
Laura: Oh, Christ.
Laura: That is disgusting.
Laura: Little brain whisk.
Laura: And then she just let it all come out.
Ron: I just love that.
Ron: Just like most reverent and powerful pharaoh.
Ron: Next.
Ron: Then they rinsed the skull with certain drugs that cleared the brain residue and had the effect of killing bacteria.
Ron: Then they made an incision along the.
Laura: Flank and removed the idea that I have a flank.
Laura: It's such an unflattering word, flank.
Ron: But I won't mummify you when you die.
Laura: Please don't.
Laura: I don't even want to have a gravestone.
Ron: I'd love to be mummified, but with no gravestone, where would you want to be?
Ron: Under the stairs.
Laura: Like, just use you as a coat rack.
Laura: Like taxidermy?
Ron: No, just amongst the Bobbish and the boxes.
Ron: Like skellig, they remove the contents of the abdomen.
Ron: Herodotus doesn't discuss the preservation method of the organs here, but they do have special jars for different things.
Laura: In a jar with a bit of.
Ron: That, like brain gunk.
Laura: Well, you know what's?
Laura: That the gingham cloth punch.
Laura: And then you just like tight.
Laura: Oh, muslin little bombamon label.
Ron: I was picturing.
Ron: Like, nice little jars.
Ron: Like the gingham lids you get fancy jam in?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That's why I want my organs put in.
Laura: Do you want to be under the stairs but then with your organs somewhere else?
Ron: In a jar?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Not under the stairs.
Ron: No.
Ron: Pantry, then.
Ron: That was rinsed with palm wine and an infusion of crushed fragrant herbs and spices.
Ron: Sounds delicious.
Laura: Your skull's on drugs.
Laura: Body is being boozed up with fancy potpourri, Herodotus says.
Ron: Describes this mix as every other sort of spice except frankincense.
Laura: No frankincense for the corpse.
Ron: No frankincense for you.
Ron: The body was then dehydrated by frankincense.
Laura: Nonsense.
Ron: In natron, a naturally occurring salt for 70 days.
Laura: Natron.
Ron: Herodotus insists that the body did not stay in the natron longer than 70 days.
Laura: What happens after that?
Laura: Gets too dry.
Laura: Starts aging, I guess.
Ron: Like starts crisping up, snaps off when you try and get it cracked.
Ron: Sarcophagus?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Dust.
Ron: Any shorter time, the body would not be completely dehydrated.
Ron: Any longer and the body would be too stiff to move into position for wrapping.
Ron: My name's Tutankhamun and I'm here to.
Laura: Say.
Ron: The embalmers then washed the body again and wrapped it with linen bandages.
Laura: And that's where we get the idea of the mummy.
Laura: Like the chasing Scooby Doo around.
Ron: Indeed.
Ron: It was then covered in gum that modern research has shown is both a waterproofing agent and antimicrobial.
Ron: At this point, it was given back to the family.
Ron: These perfect mummies, human shaped wooden cases.
Ron: Wealthy people placed these wooden cases in stone sarcophagy that provided further protection.
Ron: The family placed the sarcophagy in the tomb upright against a wall, according to Herodotus.
Laura: Good for them.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The inexpensive method, the third and least expensive method of the embalmers offered was to clear the intestines with an unnamed liquid injected as an enema.
Ron: The body was then placed in natron for 70 days and returned to the family.
Ron: Herodotus gives no further details.
Ron: Oh, what?
Laura: So they just got all the s*** out, but left all the organs in and salted it.
Ron: Flushed it through salted back to the family.
Laura: Nice budget.
Laura: Yeah, budget.
Laura: That's for when you haven't done your co op funeral plan.
Ron: So there's mummies from around the world.
Ron: Loads of them are real gross.
Ron: We've got some from Africa.
Ron: Canary Islands.
Ron: Libya.
Ron: From South Africa.
Ron: Then in Asia, we got some from China, iran.
Ron: The Iran one is all f****** messed up, this guy's.
Laura: It makes me feel then like a lot of these are coming from the hotter parts of the world.
Laura: It makes me feel like it was.
Ron: A much more it's easier to dry things, isn't it?
Laura: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: The Iran one is creepy.
Ron: Yeah, he's gross.
Ron: Siberia, the Philippines and then yeah, for Europe it's mainly bog bodies.
Laura: Bog bodies.
Ron: There's some in the Czech Republic that came from underground crypts.
Ron: While there's some evidence of deliberate mummification, it mainly looks like that just kind of happened.
Laura: What about in the like, Tar Springs or whatever, in California?
Ron: Let's see.
Laura: Is that Georgia?
Laura: The jungle where he ends up in there looking for mammoths?
Laura: Some kind of prehistoric film of the 90s where someone comes back from the past.
Ron: Oh, God.
Laura: Tell us what you're looking at, Ron.
Ron: Sorry.
Ron: It's a mummy of a six month old boy.
Laura: Oh, no.
Ron: Yeah, that's from Greenland.
Ron: Grim.
Laura: Well, I don't need to see that today.
Ron: Yeah, don't worry about they come from all over the world.
Ron: And that's mummies.
Laura: Hey, Ron.
Laura: I've had such a glorious time.
Ron: Lovely.
Ron: That's Halloween.
Laura: Halloween 2023.
Laura: We hope you enjoyed our two Halloween episodes.
Ron: Yeah, we love Halloween.
Ron: Maybe next year we'll do a full month.
Laura: Oh, maybe.
Laura: I mean maybe.
Laura: Thanks for listening.
Laura: Join the patreon.
Laura: New episode out this week.
Laura: We're looking at laughter theory.
Laura: Delving even further into that and just hey, be nice to yourselves, okay?
Laura: And be nice to everyone else as well.
Laura: Treat them like treat yourself.
Laura: Treat no tricks treat.
Ron: Trick yourself.
Laura: Trick yourself.
Laura: But hey, look after your outside bones.
Laura: Look after your inside bones.
Ron: Desiccate bones.
Laura: That's a TV show called Bones.
Ron: Wrong.
Ron: Class dismissed.
Ron: The Sun.