Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education, the comedy science podcast, where comedian Laura Lexx that's me.
Laura: Tries to learn science from her brother, Ron.
Laura: Ron, how many times have you been swimming today?
Ron: Zero.
Ron: No adjectives this week?
Laura: No, I'm really tired.
Laura: Just straight meat and biscuits today.
Laura: Just brother, no fripperies.
Laura: You're just my brother.
Laura: I've got nothing about you today.
Ron: We've not been chatting much.
Laura: No, I've been quite busy.
Ron: You've been busy?
Ron: I've been busy.
Ron: I've been in Manchester for work.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Did you go to the cricket?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Was it good?
Ron: It was fun, but it was just a weird day because they did the women's cricket and then the men's cricket, like an hour and a bit afterwards.
Ron: And so sat there and watched the whole women's game and was chatting to people and stuff and I don't know loads about cricket, but was enjoying it.
Ron: Oh, six.
Ron: Cool.
Ron: Fun.
Ron: But then you had some food and then it was like, oh, Christ, another game.
Laura: Really?
Ron: We just did this too much, man.
Ron: Because if it had been two halves of the same thing, then you'd be like, okay, some resolution is going to finish the story that we've started.
Ron: But it was very much just like, oh, this again.
Laura: I'm so jealous that you got to go instead of me.
Laura: I'd have been brilliant in the crowd.
Laura: Were you doing the wavy arms for a four?
Ron: One of the people I was sat with described herself as an ex cricket wife and she spent the first third of the game saying, I'm sure there's arm movements you should do.
Ron: And then she ended up asking someone and then she knew them, but I didn't do them.
Laura: They're very simple.
Laura: Did you still go much when you were little?
Ron: When dad plays a bit, but I never paid attention.
Laura: No.
Laura: You'd go and play in the hammock and try and run around the whole boundary and stuff?
Ron: No, but yeah, that's a core memory.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Doing the scoring.
Laura: I loved it when I learned to do the scoring.
Ron: No, I was never allowed to do the scoring.
Laura: I was too young, too small and insignificant.
Ron: Too ugly.
Laura: Ron, I had one of the worst experiences of my life today.
Ron: The second swimming.
Laura: The second.
Ron: Was it like the cricket?
Ron: Like, you'd like, oh, f***, we just did this, can't do it again.
Laura: I was really tired between swimmings, so because I'm a people pleaser, I normally go swimming with two people, they couldn't both go at the same time.
Laura: Somehow I ended up going swimming twice a day because I said yes to both of them and I wasn't looking.
Laura: I was like, oh, God, why am I going swimming again?
Laura: And then got in the pool.
Laura: It was great, it was fine.
Laura: Then child of the podcast looks at me and says, Poo.
Laura: She is just starting to tell me when she's done a poo.
Laura: I was like, have you done a poo got her out looked and she has done a poo.
Laura: But I thought, she's wearing a swim nappy.
Laura: So they're supposed to sort of make it okay, right?
Laura: Absolutely not, mate.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Not to sidecar parent, but they're supposed to give you time to get out the pool, though.
Ron: Well, yeah, not to let you f****** dive bomb cannonball.
Laura: Well, we got out the pool because I was like, no, okay, I don't think we can't continue to swim.
Laura: We got out the pool then.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: So much water had got into the swim nappy with the poo that there was just, like, poo soup sloshing about everywhere.
Laura: So I lay her down on the changing mat and then poo soup just starts running up the changing mat all over the place.
Laura: Then swim nappies are pull ups, which people have now told me, thank you, Carol.
Laura: Rip the sides and take them off like a normal nappy.
Laura: I didn't know to do that, so I start trying to take it off.
Laura: But you're basically like trying to take a s*** wet burrito off a wriggling lobster.
Laura: It was unbelievable how much poozoop was coming out of that nappy.
Laura: And I didn't have another one.
Laura: So that was just our swimming done for the day.
Laura: And I was, like, literally just paid ten pounds to get in a pool and then get out covered in s*** and have to pretty much industrially clean the swimming pool's changing room for them.
Ron: And then, not to sound too much like Steven Spielberg, but you thought it was safe to go back in the water.
Laura: No, that was swim two.
Ron: Oh, that was swim two.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: That was swim two.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I don't know if we'd have handled swim one.
Laura: Swim two.
Laura: If that had been swim one.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: No, that was swim two.
Laura: It was unbelievable.
Ron: That sounds rotten to contrast.
Ron: I had a lovely day.
Ron: I bought this ficus.
Laura: Oh, hi, ficus.
Laura: I've got ficus, too.
Laura: Mine's called shrek.
Ron: Shrek's.
Ron: Still going?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: That big one by Mackie's Daybed.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That must be like ten years old now.
Laura: Yeah, probably more than that.
Ron: Going on a long time.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: And there's Fiona somewhere as well, right?
Ron: Or is Fiona dead?
Laura: Fiona died.
Ron: You might recognise this pot.
Ron: That's the pot that the snake plant used to be in because I finally got round to repotting this m***********.
Laura: Oh, that's a nice pot, Ron.
Ron: There is a shop down I think I've talked about it before.
Laura: Ron will put pictures of this on the Instagram.
Ron: I can't there is a shop down the road from my house that given I think if I went in in the two and a half, three pints state that I'm in now, I would spend a third of my paycheck.
Laura: Wow.
Ron: It's just like everything in there.
Ron: You're like, this would look good anywhere in my house.
Laura: You like a scandy look, don't you?
Ron: I like a scandy look.
Ron: I like nice things.
Laura: Everyone thinks they like nice things, Ron.
Laura: Nobody said, like, my taste is shitness.
Ron: No, that's not true.
Laura: All right, well, anyway, listen.
Laura: Hello and welcome to the episode.
Laura: That's what we had going on.
Laura: We've got some information.
Laura: Tomorrow we're going to be on an episode of Beef Brothers with the Pappy's Boys.
Ron: Well, if you got a problem, don't call it a problem.
Ron: If you got a problem, call it a beef.
Laura: Yeah, we've been solving some Beefs Brother sister beef solving.
Laura: So listen to Beef brothers with Pappy's tomorrow.
Ron: If you want it's on the pappy's flat share feed.
Ron: They do your Pappy's flat share every month, and then in between, they do various other things.
Ron: This is technically a beef.
Ron: Brothers, cold cuts.
Laura: Oh.
Laura: What does that mean?
Ron: Well, because Beef Brothers is one of the rounds in you've been on the show.
Laura: Yeah, I know.
Ron: Beef brothers is one of the rounds in Pappy's flat share.
Ron: And then one of the inter podcasts they do is Beef Brothers Cold Cuts.
Laura: Cold Cuts.
Laura: Exciting.
Laura: We were very excited to be on it.
Laura: We had a lovely time.
Laura: We want to say thank you to Andrew for your lovely email and it made our day.
Laura: You couldn't leave a review and Andrew sent us an approval review.
Ron: Still leave a review, though, mate.
Ron: Still, like can't says, he can't put your finger out.
Ron: Podcasts won't let him have a go, though.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And if you're listening and you haven't reviewed, listen, we understand.
Laura: Not everyone can be a patron.
Laura: We think most people could.
Laura: And some of you are dragging your feet and we see, you know, leave us a review, at the very least, and a good one at that, because we're very cool and here for you.
Ron: Andrew sent us a lovely email.
Ron: Basically, he was introduced to the podcast by his friend Rebecca.
Ron: He said that he was also traumatised by raggedy and he started listening three weeks ago.
Ron: He's just caught up to the April Fools episode, which is what triggered him to drop an email in.
Ron: Longtime listeners know what that means.
Laura: If you're a first time listener, go back to the beginning and listen through it's.
Ron: Best that he also in the screenshot.
Ron: He sent over a text thread with his friend Rebecca.
Ron: He also mentions the min pins, which we do talk about a weird amount.
Laura: Do we?
Laura: Little Billy?
Ron: Little Billy, what are you up to?
Ron: In horrible.
Laura: Right, should we do an episode?
Ron: No.
Ron: What's wrong?
Ron: His mind.
Ron: You can't accuse me of Kit love of not continuing segments.
Ron: If you then don't give me if you don't repot me and give me the space to grow my roots into a new segment.
Ron: What are you doing?
Laura: There's some sort of I don't know if it's a spider or a wasp in my fairy lights.
Laura: I think it's a dead spider or a wasp with no wings and too many legs.
Laura: I'll take a picture and send it to you.
Ron: Horrible.
Ron: Well, what's wrong?
Ron: His mind for this week is just I've been listening to a h*** of a lot of Tom Waits, and I think everyone should.
Ron: He did an incredible run of albums from Swordfish trombones through Raindogs to Frank's wild years.
Ron: And if you like music that sounds like a pirate singing over the Black Books theme tune, you'll love Tom Waits.
Ron: Why have you sent me a picture?
Ron: God, what is that?
Ron: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Laura: What is it, Ron?
Ron: It's horrid.
Ron: That looks like a house spider that's tied itself up and f***** itself.
Ron: That looks awful.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: All right, then.
Ron: On with the episode.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Hello, Ron.
Ron: Ow.
Laura: Oh, I just clicked my jaw with headphones on and now I can't hear.
Ron: Gross.
Laura: Oh, I just found a load of nail varnish that I picked off last time we were recording.
Ron: Gross.
Laura: Everything's disgusting.
Ron: Sorry for calling you a smooth brained toad.
Laura: What?
Laura: In the last episode, Ron, there's just, like, for the Christmas episode, I just want you to go through the entire podcast and apologise for everything you've called me.
Laura: And that's the Christmas episode.
Laura: Just your apology.
Ron: Why would I apologise for any of it?
Laura: Because you're rude to me and I'm trying my best.
Ron: You're not.
Laura: No, but if I was, you should apologise.
Laura: I'm trying my best to make a nice podcast.
Ron: Yeah, we have made a nice podcast.
Ron: People are always banging on about how brilliant it is.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Why aren't we playing stadiums yet?
Ron: Because we not already successful.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: This will come out on Dave in two years, but not with no.
Ron: No.
Ron: Like, attractive, successful people.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Be like, can we teach Catherine Ryan the f****** GCSE?
Ron: Because she's Canadian and weird, and instead of me, it will be, I don't.
Laura: Know, Ed Gamble and Richard Ayawade.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And I don't know, Joe Wilkinson will be there.
Laura: We'll probably watch it and go, yeah, this is good.
Laura: This is how we should have done the podcast.
Laura: Well done, producers.
Laura: You know what you're doing.
Ron: And it'll be called I don't know.
Laura: I hope they still call it Lexx Education.
Laura: Just no explanation to people who've never heard of the podcast.
Ron: No, because then they'd have to pay us.
Laura: Ryan our best.
Laura: That's what they'll call it.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Ryan our best.
Ron: Ryan our best.
Ron: Gamble on that.
Laura: Wilkinson.
Ron: Wilkinson.
Ron: Joe better.
Ron: Ryan your best.
Ron: Don't gamble.
Laura: It's so hot.
Ron: Ron I'd love to be on Dave's, the home of comedy.
Laura: What programme do you want to be on?
Ron: Lexx Education.
Ron: TUV.
Laura: You can't talk at all today.
Laura: You just said boken.
Ron: Yeah, but you said starch about eight times.
Ron: Very scared because you said starch.
Laura: Anyway, I'm not going back there.
Laura: I won't do it.
Laura: Stop playing with your microphone, you creep.
Laura: You are such a horrible podcaster.
Laura: It's so horrible for everybody listening to it.
Ron: Hey, I haven't eaten olives since that.
Laura: Was two episodes ago.
Laura: I ate an apple before we started today.
Laura: Look, here's the core.
Ron: I ate a bunch of rice.
Laura: Jollof.
Ron: No, just I wanted to make tabulet at the beginning of the week.
Ron: At the beginning of the week.
Ron: But Aldi didn't have bulgar wheat, so I just made it with rice.
Ron: And I've been eating that all week.
Ron: Why are you grimacing?
Laura: Don't know.
Laura: I just was picturing rice in my mouth and it was too long because I wanted it to be porga wheat.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then I've had it in my head how everyone's really scared of old rice all the time, but f*** me, I'm so hot.
Ron: Ron I've just been eating old rice all week and not even heating it up, and it's been fine.
Laura: I just think rice is rice.
Laura: You can get bad food poisoning from rice.
Ron: People say that, but it's never happened.
Laura: It has happened.
Laura: I've had it.
Ron: When?
Laura: Once.
Laura: I had a risotto that gave me food poisoning.
Laura: When was when I lived in London.
Ron: Don't believe you.
Ron: People didn't eat risotto back in those days.
Laura: I did.
Ron: No, you didn't.
Laura: Yes, I did.
Ron: I used to go curly sausages on sesame bagels.
Laura: I had it out.
Ron: Curly sausages?
Ron: Well, if you had it out, then, it would have been fresh, so it wouldn't have had anything to do with the rice.
Laura: It did, because it was a vegetarian risotto.
Laura: You can't get it from peas.
Ron: I don't believe this story.
Ron: You ate rancid fresh.
Laura: Yeah, from the BFI.
Ron: The BFI.
Ron: You ate pea risotto that made you sick at the British Film Institute.
Laura: Yeah, on the South Bank.
Ron: Absolute bollocks.
Ron: What are you talking what?
Ron: You sat and watched a film and ate a risotto.
Laura: There's a restaurant there and I had risotto and then I got really sick.
Ron: I don't believe you.
Laura: Well, don't believe me, then.
Laura: But why would I make up this weird story?
Ron: Because your brain doesn't work great.
Laura: It's fine.
Ron: You're not a famous improviser.
Laura: No, that's why I tell the truth.
Ron: Yes, and we were at the BFI.
Ron: Joe Wilkinson was there.
Laura: He'd back me up.
Laura: Joe Wilkinson was my brother.
Ron: No, you don't.
Ron: He'd oust you like he did Poppy Hillstead.
Laura: Oh, deep cut podcast beef.
Ron: Yeah, but everyone falls on Poppy's side on that dynamic.
Laura: I don't really know what happened.
Ron: You told me about it.
Laura: Oh.
Ron: F****** h***.
Ron: This is supposed to be chemistry.
Laura: Yay.
Ron: Can you remember what we were doing last time?
Laura: Rate of reactions.
Ron: Yeah, and dynamic equilibrium.
Ron: So we're kind of going to go a bit further through that today.
Laura: All right.
Laura: If you want to.
Ron: 5.6.2 points.
Laura: I'm easy, mate.
Laura: I'll do whatever you want.
Ron: I'm not really feeling it, to be honest.
Ron: I find all this stuff really dull.
Laura: Have you made a plan to make it more interesting?
Ron: I planned some questions to ask you and see how you get on with them.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Hey, remember when we did that driving bit and I really knew what I was talking about.
Ron: Yeah, maybe there'll be more of that in the next physics.
Ron: Did you just turn and wait over there to burp?
Laura: Yeah, I'm trying a new thing where our podcast is pleasant to listen to.
Ron: It still picked up, mate.
Laura: Well, I think the listeners will hear my attempt.
Ron: Okay, so 5.6.2 .2 energy changes and reversible reaction.
Laura: Energy changes.
Ron: What are the two types of reaction?
Ron: Laura, when it comes to energy changes?
Laura: Shock and awe.
Ron: Didn'T even really work.
Laura: It did exothermic and endothermic.
Ron: Absolutely.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So if we're talking about Dynamic equilibrium, since we have been dynamic Equilibrium, what do you think is happening?
Ron: If something is in equilibrium, what's happening to the energy?
Ron: Is it going to be endothermic or exothermic?
Laura: Tricho neither is balanced.
Ron: Yeah, exactly.
Ron: So one direction is going to be endothermic.
Ron: One direction, it's going to be exothermic.
Ron: If it's at equilibrium, then as much energy is getting given out by the.
Laura: Pictured is going to get taken by.
Ron: A radio by the endothermic.
Ron: Don't just over me with cat dog analogies while I'm explaining the f****** science.
Laura: Hang on, explain the science in a minute.
Laura: Because what I pictured is cat dog, like sucking a radiator while fire comes.
Laura: Like the dog is sucking a radiator while the cat breathes out flames.
Ron: And you want to interrupt me to say stuff like that and you want me to apologise for insulting you?
Ron: You can't reference cat dog 2023.
Laura: Yes, I can.
Laura: And Rocco's modern Life.
Laura: Rocco's modern life.
Ron: Cat dog with a wolf and a bird.
Laura: A baby was born and of course quite a stir.
Laura: I never get that middle bit.
Laura: It's like no, something, something.
Laura: No, three Ad frog with a wolf and a burg and a little cat dog.
Laura: Cat dog, cat dog.
Laura: Alone in the world with little cat dog.
Ron: Yeah, so that's energy change.
Laura: Hey, you're going to have to re go back because my brain was a cartoon while that was happening.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: You say it to me.
Laura: I don't know what you were saying.
Ron: Explain why no energy is leaving because.
Laura: The dog sucks the radiator and the.
Ron: Cat do it without mentioning Cat Dog or the podcast is cancelled.
Laura: One end of the end of what?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: What do you think?
Laura: And whatever's doing this no, we're doing chemistry.
Laura: The beaker then is heating up and the other end is losing heat.
Laura: So it's staying the same.
Ron: Why are they at different ends?
Laura: Because that's how I've pictured it now or don't.
Laura: All right, the middle.
Laura: It's all hot and cold together.
Laura: Ron, why does it matter where it is?
Ron: Because you keep specifying a location.
Laura: Some's hot, some's cold stays the same.
Laura: But why would and if you want more than that, then you're going to.
Ron: Have to explain why would some be hot and some be cold?
Laura: Because you said some's taken in and some's given away.
Laura: I don't really know what we're talking about Ron, so it makes it really hard to use the exact right words.
Laura: Is someone at your door?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Well, Ron went away to do something else, but now we're back.
Ron: A builder man arrived.
Ron: What's he fixing, ron well, there was water coming in through the ceiling in the kitchen.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Ron: The wall in my room is just damp all the time and when it rains quite a lot, it starts sweating.
Laura: Do you keep spitting on it?
Ron: No.
Ron: And it just seems like whoever renovated this place previously was potentially just very bad at their job.
Ron: Or they just went with the literal cheapest thing.
Laura: Should we do a true crime podcast next where we try and find out, like, halfway between serial meets cowboy builders and we just find out who did bad jobs on things and then punish them?
Ron: I think you could do a really good podcast just on, like, f****** landlord exposes.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Landlords are c****.com.
Laura: Let's do it.
Ron: Let's do it.
Ron: Sack this s*** off.
Laura: No, still do this, too.
Ron: Coming to Dave soon.
Ron: Sean Walsh comes after Sean Walsh.
Ron: Still relevant?
Laura: Yeah, he's having a comeback, arguably.
Laura: Funny man.
Ron: Nice hair.
Laura: Do you think so?
Ron: He's got the wavy hair, doesn't?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Yeah, I like his hair.
Laura: I'll tell him next time I see him.
Laura: Where were we?
Ron: I think it's more of an Acaster thing, going after landlords.
Laura: Oh, do you reckon he wouldn't be cross when he got there?
Laura: I can imagine Sean getting the anger up that's required.
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: Have you not seen that clip of James Acaster recently when he's on the street talking to someone about immigrants?
Laura: No.
Ron: It's really funny.
Ron: He's just, like, chatting to this old white bloke and this guy's, know, giving it all that about the country being full and stuff.
Ron: They're just in this deserted town centre and James Acosta just looks around, he's like doesn't look full.
Ron: Yeah, it's really, really funny.
Ron: Right, what were we talking about before all of that?
Laura: Exothermic and endothermic reaction.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: You were explaining to me what's going on.
Ron: So we've got an equilibrium reaction happening.
Ron: Let's say the example that they give is hydrated, copper sulphate and anhydrous.
Ron: Copper sulphate plus water, hydrated and anhydrous.
Ron: That just means wet and dry.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You get this you understand this?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: There's these two things.
Ron: Basically, you mix some of it in the water, it forms a dynamic equilibrium anhydrous.
Ron: The shift towards anahydrous is endothermic.
Ron: The shift towards hydrated is exothermic.
Ron: Explain to me in terms of the energy, what's happening in that beaker, and I'll give you a clue.
Ron: One reaction doesn't happen in one place and the other action happens in another place.
Ron: It's all happening everywhere, all the time.
Laura: Some heat comes in, some heat goes out.
Ron: Comes into where?
Ron: Goes out of where?
Laura: In the beaker.
Laura: Goes out the beaker.
Ron: No, it doesn't.
Laura: No.
Laura: Goes in the molecules.
Laura: Out of the molecules.
Ron: Well, the sulphate is a molecule.
Ron: But Copper Sulphate is an ionic compound, isn't it?
Laura: Comes in the ionic compound and goes out the ionic compound.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Well, it's an equilibrium.
Ron: So as much energy as getting given out is also being taken in from the different reactions.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: It's not happening at the top of the glass or the bottom of the glass or the outside or the inside.
Ron: It's happening everywhere, all at once.
Laura: Everything, everywhere, all at once.
Ron: And you get this.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: All right.
Ron: 5.6.2 points then.
Ron: No, minus eight points.
Laura: No, I got it.
Laura: Right.
Ron: Minus nine points for a total of -17 points, we're going to skip 5.6.2 .3 we're going to move straight on to 5.6.2 .4, which is higher tier only.
Ron: All right?
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Why are you being a mush I.
Laura: Feel a bit despondent all of a sudden.
Ron: Why?
Laura: I think my apple has worn off.
Laura: Want to come down from an apple?
Ron: Do you want to stop?
Laura: We can't.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because we haven't finished.
Laura: Have we?
Ron: No.
Laura: Do you want to just teach and make it fun instead of ragging on me all the time?
Ron: I wasn't ragging on you, but that seemed to be an area of confusion for you.
Laura: I know I've said 9000 syllables, but I just mean wet and dry.
Laura: Who's a little koala?
Ron: I never called you a Koala.
Laura: You did.
Laura: He said I'll smooth brain.
Ron: I called you a smooth brain.
Ron: Koalas are cute, and that's not something I wanted to imply about you.
Ron: I wanted to play homage to your.
Laura: Dry warty skin actually have really greasy skin.
Laura: So f*** you, Ron.
Ron: Greasy water skin.
Laura: Can you just do some more science so that we can end this?
Laura: Because the problem isn't me.
Laura: It's you today.
Ron: Rude.
Laura: No, true.
Ron: It's bright.
Laura: Crude.
Ron: It's bright in my room.
Laura: Yeah, just f****** do the science.
Ron: You're being quite mean now.
Laura: I'm not being mean.
Laura: Have I compared you to anything with warts?
Laura: No.
Laura: Have you?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: I just wanted to allude to your greasy water skin.
Laura: Just f****** copper.
Laura: What is the copper doing?
Ron: We're doing 5.6.2 .4.
Ron: Just the effect.
Laura: Hate this new numbers bit.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because it's so stupid and it's just you.
Ron: Eat some food, please.
Laura: No, just finish the lesson.
Laura: I've got an hour and 8 minutes until the entire family turns up at my house and I've still got to set up everyone's beds.
Laura: Then you're turning up?
Laura: I've still got to sort that out.
Laura: Can you just teach me some f****** science so I can get back to real life?
Ron: All right.
Ron: This section is called the effect of changing conditions on equilibrium.
Laura: It's for higher tier your monotone bullshit.
Laura: Don't do it.
Laura: Don't do it.
Ron: What do you want?
Laura: I want you to turn up with some Pep and some desire to understand that I don't find this easy and to try and teach it to me in a manner by which I can understand.
Laura: I have not oscillate between you're a fat piece of s***.
Laura: And hello, this is science.
Laura: Goodbye, everybody.
Ron: I came to this record with pep on pep on pep, and this has not made you happy?
Laura: You did not come to this record.
Ron: I've been so peppy.
Laura: You have not.
Ron: I've been f****** peppin'peppa, jack I have not.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: Okay, we're going to talk about equilibrium some more.
Laura: Whoa.
Laura: Wind that pep down.
Laura: Ron that was too peppy.
Laura: People's earphones just blasted out of their ears.
Ron: It's just quite hard to be peppy when you're being a mood vacuum on the podcast.
Laura: It wasn't a mood vacuum until you were so rude.
Ron: All I said was your greasy warty skin, which is obviously not true.
Laura: Six times you said it.
Laura: What do you want me to sit here and do hoo?
Laura: I am disgusting and thick.
Ron: Laura, you don't have any wards.
Laura: Maybe I do.
Laura: I've just never told you about them.
Ron: But then I wouldn't know.
Laura: But maybe it's hurting me that you're talking about them.
Ron: But I didn't know they were there.
Ron: Now, you've disclosed these secret I don't have.
Laura: But even if I did, it's not nice to use them against me.
Laura: They're just normal.
Ron: It's just calling you a toad.
Laura: Can you just teach me?
Ron: I'm trying.
Ron: But now you're complaining about the method in which I'm doing it.
Laura: Yeah, because the method you're doing it by is bullying.
Ron: God.
Ron: I'm going to drink some water.
Laura: Oh, please.
Laura: That's what it needs.
Laura: anhy Grunk and ron okay, we're going.
Ron: To talk some more about equilibriums.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Like a seesaw.
Ron: It's more kind of like two train stations, people getting trains between them.
Laura: Like the little gatwick shuttle.
Ron: Yeah, it's a lot like the Gatwick shuttle.
Ron: And the size and speed and frequency of the Gatwick shuttles going in one direction will shift the equilibrium in one way and vice versa.
Ron: So equilibrium is when the reactions in each way are happening at the same rate, right?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Different reactions have different characteristics in terms of sort of, activation, energy, and the things that make them go whoo.
Laura: Things that make you go, OOH.
Ron: So what's that from things that make you hmm.
Ron: I think it's from brainiac.
Laura: Is it?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I thought it was going to be a chewing gum advert.
Ron: No, I'm pretty sure it was Brainiac.
Ron: A side segment along with I can do science, me.
Laura: Wonder where John Tickle is now.
Ron: We've done this bit before.
Ron: We've done a tickle.
Laura: Did we find him?
Ron: We found him on Twitter and he was didn't someone tweet at him and he just didn't say anything?
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: F*** you, then, John.
Laura: I'm not giving you airtime for a second.
Ron: Yeah, go walk on some custard.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: What about that other man, Richard Hammond?
Laura: Was he the other brainiac one?
Ron: Richard Hammond presented Brainiac for a long time.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I'm getting confused.
Laura: What was that one?
Laura: Scrap heap challenge.
Laura: I'm getting confused.
Ron: Robert Llewellyn.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, scrap Heap Challenge was good, wasn't.
Ron: It, I think out of Scrap Heap Challenge's top three shows I'd like to be.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Let's bring it back to Dave with Maisie Adams.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It wouldn't be us, though.
Laura: Josh whittakeham.
Laura: Yeah, but we could be contestants.
Laura: We don't have to be popular for that.
Ron: Anyone can get it commissioned with did you know mom and dad are thinking.
Laura: Of applying to be on Bargain Hunt?
Ron: What?
Laura: Did you know Mum and dad are applying to be on Bargain Hunt?
Ron: No.
Ron: Really?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: I'll get to watch them when I'm at the gym, but they're always playing bargain hunting.
Ron: Bargain hunting pointless.
Ron: But Dad's just going to say that thing that he always says about how it's backwards and you should buy stuff at an auction and sell it elsewhere.
Laura: He'll just go on it and criticise the format to death.
Laura: They'll make him the baddie of the episode.
Laura: I'm very excited.
Laura: I think he'll give me the fleece, though, afterwards, so I'm excited.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Then they'll redo that on Dave as well, instead of Mum and dad.
Ron: It'll be like Vic Reeves and Jenny Eclair.
Laura: I met Jenny Eclair the other day.
Ron: I find Jenny Eclair really funny.
Laura: She's really nice.
Laura: Yeah, it's really funny.
Ron: She'd be f****** on our landlord's expose, though.
Laura: Is she a landlord?
Laura: Yeah, I know.
Ron: And defends it on Twitter.
Laura: Oh, Jenny.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Jenny.
Ron: Jenny Ron.
Laura: We're really not jenny and Claire go.
Ron: Together like peas and carrots.
Laura: Maybe we could do a podcast where you and we do need Jenny and Claire on the Landlord episode, maybe, and you try and change her mind about it.
Ron: What you want to catch a predator?
Ron: To catch a landlord?
Ron: Jenny Eclair.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: You know, and we'll just change her mind a little bit.
Ron: I mean, that could be nice.
Ron: Jenny Eclair one of my favourite bits of good podcasts.
Ron: Do the right thing.
Ron: And when asked what she should do in the face of killer beast, should we run and thrash Michael?
Ron: It's very funny.
Ron: Very funny.
Ron: Now, that's a good the saddest thing.
Laura: About the entire pandemic is I was meant to go and do the right thing.
Laura: Do you remember?
Laura: We were meant to go on it yeah.
Ron: For my birthday.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And then, bloody h***, if there wasn't a pandemic.
Ron: And now they just don't seem to be doing it anymore.
Laura: No, I think Danielle Ward's doing all sorts of writing and clever things and everybody moved on.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: My experience of podcasting, there's only so much you can do it for free with nobody wanting to make it into something that makes.
Ron: Please.
Ron: Otherwise Laura will stop.
Ron: Michael Leggg's got a new podcast where he's losing weight.
Laura: We were meant to be on that, weren't we?
Ron: Oh, I was talking about a different one.
Ron: Yeah, we were meant to be on that, but then let me text Matt.
Laura: We were meant to do it and then we had to go away, didn't.
Ron: Yeah, let's do that again.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: All right.
Ron: I'd like to meet Michael Legg.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: You love Michael Legg.
Ron: He's a very funny and I like Beth Black as well.
Ron: She's good.
Laura: Yeah, she's amazing.
Ron: Who's the other person on him?
Laura: Matt Hoss.
Ron: It's a name I know.
Laura: He's a lovely boy.
Laura: He did all my teching for two of my Edinburgh shows.
Ron: I've probably met him then.
Laura: Yeah, he's delightful.
Ron: He wears a suit on his Twitter profile.
Laura: The sweetest boy.
Laura: Probably.
Laura: He did a show about trying to find love and now he's in love, I don't think because of the show, just because he's nice.
Ron: Yeah, I think I know who that is, then that'd be fun.
Ron: And it's about music, isn't it?
Laura: Yeah, I know loads about music.
Ron: I've been playing lots of music recently.
Laura: Yeah, I need to listen to your song that you wrote but still haven't listened to it.
Ron: No, I don't get supported.
Laura: No, but you haven't read Pivot, so that's okay.
Ron: I read half of it.
Ron: You haven't listened half?
Laura: I think reading half of someone's book is actually more of a f*** none of it, actually.
Ron: Well, I wasn't getting any praise for reading it.
Laura: Didn't know that you were giving up on reading it.
Ron: I'll finish it.
Ron: Maybe next time I go on summer holiday that'll be never yeah, life's a.
Laura: Grey endless you don't go on summer holidays unless I take you yeah, life's.
Ron: A grey endless pit yeah.
Ron: How long we've been recording?
Laura: Ron?
Laura: You can't have every episode, just be you deflatedly asking how long we've been recording.
Laura: That can't be.
Laura: The podcast is just you here until you can leave.
Ron: Laura, you had an absolute s*** fit, so we had to chat about comedy podcasts for 10 minutes to cool.
Laura: I'm asking you to teach me science.
Laura: You don't want to do it and you're trying to shift the blame onto me.
Ron: I thought that was a nice thing that we just did.
Laura: It was lovely, but it didn't make me go, oh, cool.
Laura: That was science.
Laura: Whoopsie.
Laura: When I listen back, I'll realise it wasn't.
Laura: I know we haven't done any content.
Ron: Fine.
Ron: Well, basically, the whole thing with this section that we're going to at the moment is talking about something called Le Chitalier's Principle.
Laura: The cat's principle.
Ron: No le chitalier.
Ron: He was a Frenchman, a French chemist.
Ron: Let's get some info on no, Ron.
Laura: Just do the science.
Ron: No, we have to pad this out a little bit, because the science is that if you change the conditions of an equilibrium, the equilibrium will shift.
Laura: Oh, I'm going to write that down.
Ron: In Sciency words, when a simple system in thermodynamic equilibrium is subjected to a change in concentration, temperature, volume or pressure, the system changes to a new equilibrium and this change partly counteracts the applied change.
Laura: This is like that Newton bollocks again, isn't it?
Laura: No, it's so obvious.
Laura: Change a thing, it'll change.
Ron: Do you think that last part's obvious?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Explain it to me.
Laura: Then if you change it, it will be different.
Ron: And this change partly counteracts the applied change.
Ron: Explain that to me.
Laura: Change is as good as the rest.
Ron: You said this was really obvious.
Laura: You change it and it changes the thing, and then the act of the thing changing sort of negates the change you made.
Ron: Explain that to me.
Ron: In terms of concentration.
Laura: You have to think about it really hard if you're going to understand it.
Ron: Just teach me the science.
Laura: Don't have a nice you haven't taught me anything.
Laura: You've just read a f****** sentence and then left me on my own in the wilderness.
Ron: Yeah, think if you said it was really obvious.
Laura: Well, it is.
Laura: Explain it.
Ron: Yeah, explain it to me then in terms of temperature.
Ron: Explain it in terms of temperature then.
Ron: No, but you made a joke about concentrating on it.
Ron: Grow up.
Ron: Stop showing off in front of the listeners.
Laura: Go on then, explain it.
Ron: No.
Ron: You said it was really obvious.
Laura: Explain it to me in terms of temperature.
Laura: Explain it.
Ron: No.
Ron: Work it out then.
Laura: No.
Ron: Laura, you got to admit that was too fast.
Ron: You're a little close to the surface.
Laura: Pushing my button.
Ron: Okay, so we've got an equilibrium in one direction.
Ron: It's going to be an endothermic reaction in one direction.
Ron: It's going to be do you want to do it or not?
Laura: Yes, I do.
Laura: But I'm also here, I'm picturing a trapeze.
Ron: Oh, f****** great.
Ron: You got an endothermic reaction in one direction and an exothermic reaction in the other direction.
Ron: If we increase the temperature, what's going to happen to the equilibrium?
Laura: It will change.
Ron: How?
Laura: Up.
Ron: What does up mean?
Laura: What was it?
Laura: What?
Ron: We're increasing the temperature.
Ron: What's happening to the equilibrium?
Laura: It's getting hotter.
Laura: It's not an equilibrium.
Ron: No.
Ron: Think it through.
Ron: I am thinking this change partly counteracts the applied change.
Laura: It's getting colder.
Ron: How is an equilibrium getting hotter or colder?
Ron: Which way is it moving, Laura?
Laura: Backwards.
Ron: What does that mean?
Laura: What you're talking about?
Ron: This is the thing is that you ask for this and then just like equilibrium no, it moves in the endothermic direction, taking in the energy, decreasing the temperature.
Ron: You get that?
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Does that make sense?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Okay, then let's apply this to let's say that we've got an equilibrium.
Ron: On one side, it's one molecule.
Ron: On the other side, it's three molecules.
Ron: It's like a degradation reaction.
Ron: It's something breaking down.
Ron: If we increase the concentration, which way is the equilibrium going to move?
Laura: Endothermic.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because.
Ron: Why would I have mentioned the other things that I mentioned if that was the answer?
Laura: Three molecules.
Ron: So we've increased the concentration and you think it's going to shift to the three molecules?
Ron: One because or are you just guessing.
Laura: Because you've increased the concentration?
Laura: So more is happening.
Ron: This change partly counteracts the applied change.
Ron: That's what you need to hold in your head.
Laura: One molecule.
Ron: Are you saying that because it's what you didn't say before.
Ron: Or have you applied some thought?
Laura: It's what I didn't say before.
Ron: Why is it one molecule?
Laura: Because it should be three molecules.
Laura: But this is topsy turvy land.
Ron: Why should it be three molecules?
Laura: Because if you're concentrating more, you're more effective.
Laura: You'll make three molecules.
Ron: But can't you see that moving it towards the one molecule is going to counteract an increase in concentration?
Laura: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Laura: It should be three.
Ron: Why should it be three?
Laura: Let me finish the sentence.
Ron: I really want to stop.
Ron: I like you less than I did an hour ago.
Laura: All right then.
Laura: Well, good for you.
Laura: Merry Christmas.
Laura: See you later.
Ron: No.
Ron: Finish explaining.
Laura: No.
Laura: Apparently you hate me.
Ron: Okay, let's stop.
Laura: I don't think you should come over today.
Ron: All right.
Laura: Are you really?
Laura: You're just ending the podcast like this?
Ron: You said okay, I said finish your explanation.
Laura: Because more concentrating would be having three molecules, but it does the opposite.
Laura: So you work out what it logically should do and then choose the other one.
Laura: One molecule.
Ron: I don't think you're working there is quite right.
Ron: It's not about what it logically should do because it's an equilibrium.
Ron: So it's doing both all the time.
Ron: It's about the concentration and things bumping into each other.
Ron: Think about it in terms of particle theory, right?
Ron: What about volume?
Ron: We increase the volume.
Ron: Which way is the equilibrium going to go?
Ron: One particle or.
Laura: Three?
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because there's more molecules.
Ron: Why are there more molecules?
Laura: Because we increase the volume.
Ron: What does increasing the volume affect?
Laura: The size?
Ron: You're not thinking.
Laura: You're just talking so hard.
Laura: Because if I was just talking, I'd have gone how loud it is, boop boop boop boop.
Laura: But instead I sat here really quietly and thought and you're still rude.
Ron: I'm really sorry, but I think you can see why I mistook what you said for not thinking.
Laura: I don't understand what you mean by three in one molecules.
Laura: What do you mean?
Ron: So let's say we've got chemical A on one side of the equilibrium and that breaks down into chemicals B, C and D.
Ron: However, chemicals B did you hear my tummy?
Ron: Then chemicals B, C and D sounded.
Laura: Like Ferris Bueller's Day off.
Laura: Oh yeah.
Ron: No, we have to stop.
Ron: We simply must stop.
Laura: Fine.
Laura: I don't even care about chemical B, C and D anyway.
Ron: See you for the quiz.
Laura: Bye.
Laura: You were right, Ron.
Laura: We do need to do a quiz.
Laura: Call back to an intro from three weeks ago.
Ron: Woohoo.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Chemistry.
Laura: Cat dog.
Ron: You weren't listening a lot.
Laura: I was.
Ron: We argued a lot.
Laura: Doesn't mean I wasn't listening.
Ron: Were you listening?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Cat dog.
Ron: What does that mean?
Laura: Equilibrium?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: What's the definition of an equilibrium?
Laura: Same z.
Laura: A reaction that is putting out what it's taking in.
Laura: Same energy going in and out.
Laura: Reached a balance of energy intake and outtake output.
Laura: Energy outtakes?
Laura: Just outtakes falling over and getting their lines wrong.
Laura: An ostrich eating the microphone there.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yeah, you're right.
Ron: Sorry.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Full marks, isn't it?
Ron: No.
Ron: Two reactions that happen and then they're going back and forth at the same rate.
Laura: Oh, I don't think we talked about that.
Ron: What's an example of an exothermic equilibrium.
Laura: No such thing.
Laura: Tricho.
Laura: Because if it was exothermic, it wouldn't be an equilibrium.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: Yes, that is correct.
Ron: One mark.
Ron: Ding.
Ron: What is Dalier's principle?
Ron: Don't play with that.
Ron: That's bad for noise.
Laura: Oh, you can talk.
Ron: Does that mean olives?
Ron: I don't eat olives when we're recording.
Laura: Um I remember the name because it made me think of Chevalier, that guy from history.
Ron: I can just hear your dog flapping her gums in the background.
Ron: It's horrible.
Laura: Mouth chutneys.
Laura: She got dry mouths.
Laura: She just did loads of running around.
Laura: Leave her alone.
Laura: She's doing impression of you eating olives.
Ron: It was much louder.
Laura: Chitalier's principle.
Ron: Skinner.
Laura: Yeah, I did think of that joke, but too late.
Laura: If I'd snap come up with that, it would have been really funny, but it's a big pause while I just stared at you in horror.
Ron: Jersey.
Laura: Jeff, can I have my book to have a look?
Ron: Yes, but you get a third of the mark.
Laura: No.
Laura: Where are we 63 these days?
Laura: A change to the conditions of an equilibrium.
Laura: The equilibrium will shift no, that is what I've written down.
Ron: You're right.
Ron: That is right.
Laura: What is it, then?
Ron: It will shift to counteract the change that you make.
Ron: So it will shift to counteract the change that you make.
Laura: Just because I didn't say all of it?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: If I asked you for the recipe for a cake and you stopped halfway through before it went in the oven, you haven't made a cake, have you?
Ron: It's not my fault you didn't write it all down.
Laura: You probably talk too quickly.
Ron: You bang on about that book all the time.
Ron: But how would increasing the temperature affect an equilibrium?
Laura: It would shift to counteract the change in equilibrium.
Ron: Counteract the change in equilibrium?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: What does that mean?
Ron: Vulgar.
Laura: Give out some energy.
Ron: Would that help?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Balance.
Laura: Again.
Laura: Equal shifting.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: No.
Laura: Come on.
Ron: Again.
Ron: Social cues would I was looking at you.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So I've increased the temperature.
Ron: You think it's going to shift to give out energy and that's going to counteract an increase in temperature?
Laura: Yeah, because if it's getting hotter listen.
Ron: To my tone, it's getting hotter.
Ron: So we're putting more energy out.
Ron: That's going to stop doing this.
Ron: That's going to make it hotter, isn't it?
Ron: Getting hotter doesn't counteract any wait, are.
Laura: You heating it up or is it giving away more energy?
Laura: I don't understand.
Ron: The temperature has increased.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So it's not going to shift and give away more energy, is it?
Ron: Because that's going to increase the temperature even more?
Laura: No, it would decrease if something's hot and it gives away an energy it's going to cool down.
Ron: But it's happening in a closed system, isn't it?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: All of these things happening.
Laura: Oh, you didn't say that.
Ron: You're wrong.
Laura: Fine.
Ron: That's the end of the quiz.
Laura: That was dismal failure.
Ron: Yeah, I think you got one out of four that was identifying a trick.
Laura: That's not the same as being right.
Laura: Yeah, I knew I'd f*** that up, though, because I didn't make any notes.
Laura: We just had.
Ron: The one note you did make.
Ron: You wrote Gatwick in a fancy font.
Laura: That looks cool, actually, doesn't it?
Laura: That sign, I might sell that to Gatwick Airport.
Ron: Why.
Laura: Were we talking about Gatwick?
Laura: I don't think yeah, we were talking about the shuttle train.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: Jesus.
Laura: That episode, man.
Laura: I text you when I was listening to that.
Laura: I was putting away child of the podcast's clothes and I had to stop because I was listening to myself earnestly talking to you about Three Molecules, and I knew from the tone of my voice that I firmly believed I was giving you the correct answer.
Laura: And even me listening back to myself trying, had no idea what I was trying to say.
Ron: The thing about that episode is that I think it was one of the weaker performances from me.
Ron: To be honest, I don't think my explanation of some of the equilibrium stuff was as good as some of my other explanations of things.
Ron: I hadn't put in a lot of effort before the episode.
Laura: It's nice to hear you admit that.
Ron: I admit that every week, but still, you came off worse.
Laura: I think the listeners will disagree, but that's fine.
Laura: Big news, Ron.
Laura: There's a patreon episode out this Friday.
Ron: What?
Ron: A patreon episode for this podcast?
Laura: Yes, buddy.
Ron: That must cost 100 pounds a month, surely, to sign on to more content from this.
Laura: Mate, what we do is, it's less than a pound a week to support this podcast that comes out every week and get a bonus episode.
Laura: It's only three pounds a month.
Ron: But that couldn't make the people that make this podcast any money at all.
Ron: How can they sustain doing that?
Laura: They can't, Ron.
Laura: They've got maybe four months left before they have to jack it in, because it just isn't worth the time and effort.
Ron: Bloody h***.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Ron, what could stop them from jacking it in?
Laura: If more people signed up, that would be good.
Ron: Or we just hike the prices right up.
Ron: I do work in SAS software.
Ron: That is the way that you do it.
Ron: You start really low and then when people get dependent on it, you jank the prices right up.
Laura: Ron, I just think anybody dependent on this podcast, like, dependent?
Laura: That's not right.
Laura: You shouldn't need this for anything.
Laura: No.
Laura: Well, anyway, this week, those beautiful people that help keep this magical little corner of the internet alive by subbing us about 70 p a week, they're getting an episode where we visit the library and talk each other through our favourite books.
Ron: Library Week, one of our more amicable episodes.
Ron: It's a lovely listen, it's a horlicks.
Laura: In your ears because I think in the discord they're putting together a spreadsheet of all of the insults ever used on Lexx education.
Laura: Those crazy cats contribute, do things like rats are on they're rats.
Ron: Those crazy rats do things like that.
Laura: Also, look, we've had a ticket update for London podcast.
Laura: You f**** need to buy some f****** tickets, you f****.
Ron: Yeah, it's in f****** London.
Ron: We know loads of you c**** live there.
Ron: Can you just come down?
Ron: It's like central, it's easy to get to.
Ron: It's not that there's one thing we've.
Laura: Asked you to do except support us on Patreon.
Laura: You can't even be f****** asked to come.
Laura: Just buy a ticket.
Laura: Yeah, buy a ticket.
Laura: I'm sick of you otherwise.
Laura: Buy a f****** ticket.
Ron: It's going to be one of the most galling experiences.
Laura: No, we're just going to cancel it, Ron.
Laura: We're just going to cancel it.
Ron: Yeah, we need like three times as many.
Laura: Yes, we do.
Ron: Ron, if you're already coming, bring a friend.
Ron: And if that friend hasn't already brought a friend, bring their friends.
Laura: Yeah, this needs to become a pyramid scheme.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I'll hug everyone there.
Laura: I won't, but I will smile while Ron has comfortable he'll be I won't, but I will show you my bare bum.
Ron: Laura's bare bum.
Ron: And a hug from me at the same time.
Ron: You'll stand in a line, I'll hug you all and over my shoulder a small moon will appear.
Laura: It's not small.
Laura: Right, we're going to say thank you to some patrons.
Laura: Got some beautiful patrons.
Ron: And please, you want to be on this list, you must be on this list.
Ron: In fact, actually right now, don't sign up to the Patreon for three months.
Ron: Spend that money on coming to the London Podcast Festival in September.
Laura: Think of us like one of those pandas in China.
Laura: That just depends on the kindness of people to survive.
Laura: And just buy a ticket or we will go extinct.
Ron: Me and Laura chewing on grass with teeth.
Ron: Mally adapted to it.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Anyway, malley mally.
Laura: I've never said mali before.
Ron: I don't know if it's a word, but it made sense.
Ron: Laura, you go first.
Laura: This no, you go first.
Ron: You go first because you need to say the last one.
Laura: But I want to do the middle one.
Ron: Okay, I'll do the first one and the third one then.
Laura: I mean, I can do the second and third one if you like.
Ron: The register.
Ron: Anne Paramore.
Ron: We'd love to say thank you to lovely Anne, who is the casting director for Joe.
Ron: Better be ryan your best.
Ron: Don't gamble on that.
Ron: Her desk is completely empty, apart from crossed out pictures of Laura and Ron.
Laura: Thanks, Anne.
Laura: Thanks for overlooking us.
Laura: Thank you to can't wait.
Ron: Wait, you can't actually be offended by you sounded quite choked up then.
Laura: I was burping.
Laura: Sorry, I was burping.
Ron: You sounded actually a little bit upset that Anne has looked over us for a show we invented and a job we imaginarily gave her.
Laura: Anne, why don't you love us, Anne?
Laura: What did we boop boopity do to you?
Laura: Thank you to Lawrence Roberts.
Laura: Why are you shaking your head, Ron?
Ron: That was a conversation we had in a car.
Laura: Yeah, but I feel like people that listen to this bit of this podcast are probably Adam and Joe heads.
Ron: I didn't even get it and I was in the f****** conversation.
Ron: Move on.
Ron: Talk about Lawrence.
Laura: Lawrence is a visionary veterinary scientist who invented the procedure for separate cat dogs.
Laura: It is only a coincidence that they also own majority shares on the world's largest pet wheelchair company.
Laura: Nice work, Lawrence.
Ron: Thank you.
Ron: And finally, a massive stinky brown thank you to Sebastian Cutter, who s**** in The Risotto at the BFI.
Laura: Thanks, Sebastian.
Laura: You're the best.
Ron: And as a side note to that, can we get a H*** yeah from everyone that thinks that that story was bullshit?
Laura: Well, why would I make that up, Ron?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: What do you think I got food poisoning from then?
Ron: I don't think you got Risotto at the BFI.
Ron: No, you didn't.
Laura: Why wouldn't I have?
Ron: Because it's a cinema.
Laura: There's a restaurant.
Laura: The one on the South Bank has a restaurant bollocks into.
Laura: We'll go together after the London podcast festival.
Laura: We will go to the BFI together.
Ron: With all the listeners that come.
Ron: We'll be able to fit round three.
Laura: Maybe four tables, and we're all having The Risotto.
Ron: We're going to go s*** our brains out on the side of the river.
Laura: Wearing swim nappies poo soup.
Ron: Goodbye.
Ron: Class dismissed.
Ron: And.
