Laura: Hello and welcome to Lexx Education!
Laura: The Comedy Science podcast where comedian Me Laura can't think of a Halloween name when I'm already halfway through saying it.
Laura: Laura spectral rora.
Laura: Like a lion.
Ron: Like a spooky lion.
Laura: Lion rora.
Laura: Lex hex hex.
Laura: Laura hex.
Laura: Anyway, back to this worst introduction for any podcast ever, which a normal podcast.
Ron: Also, are we doing?
Laura: We're just rerecording.
Ron: Are we doing an intro outro right now?
Laura: Yes, a special episode.
Ron: Okay, but we're doing intros outros for the other Halloween?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Ron, we're terrible at this.
Laura: Really bad.
Ron: People have already heard that, haven't yeah.
Laura: It was last week, mate.
Laura: We haven't recorded the intro yet.
Laura: Why didn't we just do it as part of the episode?
Ron: It was the same room episode.
Ron: We were Gidy.
Laura: We were giddy.
Laura: We love to drink petrol tea.
Laura: Oh, yeah, forgot about that.
Laura: It's not a same room episode today.
Laura: Not even a same country episode today.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: No, you're in Norway.
Laura: I am in Norway, which I was just telling you about.
Laura: And then we got halfway through and decided we'd save it to have this conversation in front of you guys.
Laura: So I was just telling Ron, I'm over in Norway and I'm hosting a week of shows here, but I'm the only act doing their set in English.
Laura: The other acts are all Norwegians and so just doing their set in Norwegian, which makes perfect sense.
Laura: We're in Norway, but I don't speak Norwegian or understand it and I can't tell jokes in it.
Laura: So I am sort of like, hosting the show in English and then I introduce an act, go and sit down.
Laura: The audience lasts for 15 minutes and I have no idea what's going on, and then just have to come back up and carry on the show.
Laura: I have learned, though, that ecstasy pill is the same in English and Norwegian.
Ron: You'd think the pill would be translatable.
Laura: Ecstasy pill.
Laura: Exactly the same in both languages.
Ron: Are you going clubbing?
Ron: And so you're learning this?
Laura: No, it was in somebody's set and I was like, oh, this is a joke about an ecstasy pill.
Laura: I think he also mentioned Michael Jackson.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I don't know what the jokes were about, but, hey, I understood those setups.
Laura: But, yes, I'm having a lovely time.
Laura: I only got here yesterday, so I haven't really done much.
Laura: And I was here last year.
Ron: Oh, hello.
Ron: I'm Ron.
Laura: Oh, yeah, he's ron.
Laura: Hello, Ron.
Laura: How are you?
Ron: Yeah, I'm good.
Laura: Good.
Laura: Back to me.
Laura: Yeah, so I only got here yesterday, so I haven't done loads yet because today I just kind of had a workout this morning.
Laura: I did an hour of calming yoga and then I had a big meeting with my agency planning next year and then just chilled out and got a load of work done.
Laura: Edited an episode that's not due to go out till January, but we actually recorded it so long ago, I was like, sat down to edit it and was like, Holy s***.
Laura: We are still very egathon heavy.
Laura: Not going out until January, but, yeah, a fun episode.
Ron: Nice.
Laura: But it's Halloween week.
Ron: I've been doing a big cook today.
Laura: Oh, what you cooked?
Laura: Ron?
Ron: Making falafel and all the trimmings.
Laura: What is the trimming with falafel?
Laura: Like tatsiki.
Ron: Yeah, I made vegan satsiki, I've made a Tabale, I've made salsa verde, made a Greek salad.
Laura: Mate, it's like cooking with Ron again.
Laura: Look at you.
Ron: I forgot we made all these things.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Do you remember cook along?
Laura: What a weird night that was.
Laura: That was fun.
Ron: Talk about again sometime.
Laura: No.
Laura: Tom was so sad about all the cleaning up.
Laura: We should do it again, but clean up after ourselves.
Ron: But Tom got all the delicious food.
Laura: Yeah, all right.
Laura: 500 patrons.
Laura: We'll do another cook along.
Ron: Yeah, b******.
Laura: Yeah, b******.
Laura: Speaking of patrons, I think there'll be a special episode out this Friday, because we've now doubled the content.
Laura: I think it's the second laughter episode.
Laura: It's going yeah, we're looking more about laughter theory.
Laura: Yeah, that'll be out this Friday, so join the patreon or we'll haunt you.
Laura: Halloween spooky.
Laura: Are you going trick or treating for Halloween, Ron?
Ron: No, I am going to a fancy dress party this weekend.
Laura: Oh, what are you going as?
Ron: So it's poirot themed, so I've bought some ear muffs and an inflatable crocodile and I'm deaf on the Nile.
Laura: I love it, Ron.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Yes, because poirot, I didn't want to just go as some fancy lad, which I think a lot of people are going to do.
Ron: And also, I love a costume that you can abandon easily.
Laura: Yes, I'm not doing that for the fancy dress thing I'm going to this month, which actually will be the night before the live show.
Laura: I'm going to a Labyrinth party.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Laura: You don't want to go that way.
Laura: You'll go straight to that castle.
Laura: Yeah, I am going as the worm.
Ron: That's what I wanted to go to that party.
Laura: Yeah, you should come, mate.
Laura: Oh, no, you're in London that weekend.
Laura: Yeah, I'm taking charge of the podcast trick or treating, though.
Ron: Oh, cute.
Laura: Because I will be up in Scotland shire for Halloween.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And obviously niece are going.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So they're going to go trick or treating together.
Laura: They were going to go as Pain and Panic from Hercules, which I think would have been dead cute.
Laura: But nephew of the podcast has changed his mind and wants to go as Peter Pan, so child of the podcast will be going as Tinkerbell, but Tinkerbell in a coat.
Laura: I don't think Inverness at that time of year is going to be you.
Ron: Can'T be that slutty at that time of the year.
Laura: No bustier for you, child of the podcast.
Laura: But anyway, Ron, anyway, that's all in the future for us and in the Today for the listener or the Yesterday, depending on how prompt a listener they.
Ron: Are, or if you're listening to this in three, four years time a couple of years ago.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Or maybe you're using this to discern what civilization was like in 2023.
Laura: It was mainly brother sister podcast duos, Burping.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Before we joined, we started the call, and then Ron got a message that he had to deal with, and I thought I was muted and did the worst.
Ron: Yeah, I got a call from one of the people in my team and I had to help her out with an urgent work matter.
Ron: I could just hear Laura snuffling around her hotel room like a hog, eating what were you eating?
Laura: I was eating an eat natural protein packed peanut bar.
Ron: Yeah, sounded like it.
Ron: And then she ate that and then ripped her fat burp right into the microphone.
Laura: I thought I'd muted because you said, can you mute, please?
Laura: And I swear yeah, then you just didn't.
Laura: I thought I did.
Laura: Sorry about that.
Laura: Burp.
Laura: Ron woof.
Laura: I wouldn't have left that in the podcast if it had been recorded.
Laura: I'd have had to cut that.
Laura: It was rumbly.
Ron: Yeah, it's what?
Laura: Have a hotel breakfast.
Ron: I love it.
Laura: Full of so many different foods.
Ron: Halloween spooky.
Ron: I forgot like eight times what we.
Laura: Were going to comment, even though it's in the spreadsheet.
Ron: Oh, stick your spreadsheet up your hoop.
Ron: I don't care.
Laura: Love spreadsheets and you need to know what's going on.
Laura: I don't understand why you don't love it.
Ron: No, see, this is what people like.
Ron: You get wrong about spreadsheets all the time.
Ron: You go.
Ron: Oh, ron loves spreadsheets.
Ron: He's going to love this spreadsheet I make.
Ron: No, I like to do, like, complex formulas and stuff.
Ron: I'm forever getting asked for help in Excel.
Ron: And then I get real excited, like they want some juicy freaking formulas in there, and they're like, can you help me format this, please?
Ron: Every f****** time.
Laura: Well, you can at least appreciate my organization, though, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, I like it.
Ron: I just don't look at it.
Laura: But then you don't know what's going on.
Ron: I do a good job.
Laura: I made a new tab today.
Laura: Plans for social media to try and boost our audience.
Ron: Nice.
Ron: What's in there?
Laura: Well, you remember some of the things we talked about last time I brought this up?
Laura: Like, you recording videos of facts.
Laura: And then I bought you that fact book so you could write facts.
Ron: Yes, it's that mainly, Laura, I've moved country.
Laura: Hey.
Laura: And no one's more proud of you than me.
Laura: But now it's time for me to start prodding you again.
Ron: Okay, I'm just not good at you wanted me to just record, like, stock phrases to camera.
Laura: I tried that as an idea.
Laura: You didn't like it.
Laura: We never revisited it.
Laura: Now I just need you to look at the camera and tell interesting facts.
Ron: Look, Laura, I'm one of life's great improvisers.
Laura: You cannot yeah, so just improvise to a camera.
Ron: Ron it can't be done like that.
Laura: Yeah, well, it f****** has to be, because otherwise we're never going to have more listeners.
Laura: And that can't happen.
Ron: We have to come up with a cool, natural I'll get drunk and do it.
Laura: All right, do that.
Laura: I don't care.
Ron: Yeah, that's fine.
Ron: All right.
Ron: Halloween.
Ron: Whoa.
Laura: The handset of this phone is so heavy anyway.
Laura: Halloween.
Ron: So we're carrying on.
Laura: Maybe it's heavy because it's haunted and full of ghosts.
Laura: Halloween themed destructure.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: So we're carrying on our path through oh, no.
Ron: F****** h***.
Laura: I've finished my tea.
Laura: But look, the bag had clearly broken and there's lots of loose tea in the bottom.
Laura: Sorry, Ron.
Ron: What's the spookiest thing in the room you're in, Laura?
Laura: Probably this very annoying lamp behind me that is just so impractical.
Laura: I don't understand why you'd ever make it.
Laura: See this here?
Laura: It's stooped like Quasimodo and it swings wildly through the room attacking you wrong.
Ron: Oh, something that haunts the nightmares.
Ron: Very Halloween themed.
Laura: My womb.
Ron: That's the funniest thing you've done in a while.
Laura: Thanks, Ron.
Ron: I was listening to the Moon episode recently, and that little song that I sing at the beginning really made me laugh.
Laura: That's a good job.
Laura: We amuse ourselves.
Ron: Yeah, this is mainly for us when.
Laura: We do any social media stuff, and it is just us listening to it every week.
Laura: Hey, then we can really stop doing all this stuff for the mainstream.
Laura: No, Laura, I edited the pop quiz, too.
Laura: That's going out in January today.
Laura: And for a full five minutes, we just laugh over my pronunciation of the word propanon.
Ron: I remember that.
Laura: Little sneak peek of what's going out on the patreon in January 2024.
Ron: No, Laurie, I'm talking about your skeleton.
Ron: Dembones.
Laura: Dembones, as I call it.
Laura: My womb prison.
Ron: Shouldn't have gone back to the it's perfect.
Laura: The first it's a callback man.
Laura: We'll edit it.
Ron: Done.
Ron: I've really enjoyed my research on the skeleton.
Ron: First fact for you, Laura.
Ron: First fact.
Ron: There's loads of different types of skeletons.
Laura: Can you name any EXO?
Ron: Yep.
Laura: Indo.
Ron: Endo.
Laura: Endo.
Laura: Soft.
Ron: Did you know that some things have what's called a hydroskeleton?
Laura: What?
Laura: Like an inflatable with water?
Ron: Kind of a flexible internal structure supported by the hydrostatic pressure of body fluids.
Laura: Hang on, that's ringing a bell.
Laura: I feel like I've encountered something that does that.
Laura: And then they can change their body shape depending on where they shoot water to.
Ron: Yeah, I think I've seen that on.
Laura: A documentary somewhere or something.
Ron: But no, things like bugs, they have exoskeletons.
Ron: That's a shell.
Ron: Effectively.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Humans, mammals, birds, lizards, dogs, horses, they all have endoskeletons.
Laura: Yes, birds have very light bones because they need to be able to fly.
Ron: Yes, humans have normal bones.
Laura: No, that is ethnocentric or whatever the word is for species.
Laura: Centric thinking.
Ron: Yeah, it's my reference.
Laura: Mammalian centric.
Laura: I don't know what we'd call it.
Ron: Anthrocentric.
Laura: Sure.
Ron: Here's a fun fact.
Ron: Laura, do you know where the word skeleton comes from?
Laura: Skeleton?
Laura: Scally scale.
Laura: Greek.
Ron: Yes, ancient Greek.
Laura: But for what?
Laura: Let's say it's ancient Greek for scaffolding.
Ron: No, it's ancient Greek for dried up.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, I guess because they mainly found skeletons, like, with no bodies in them, rather than thinking about the skeleton inside us.
Ron: What on earth you think this?
Laura: Well, because I don't think of my skeleton as dried up because it's covered in mush.
Laura: But if I found a skeleton out in the wild, it would be like a pirate skeleton, like dusty, with a diamond in its mouth.
Laura: Do you remember that bit in Rescue down under with the Devil's Bayou?
Laura: And it was like, glinting in his eye and she had to prize it open with a sword or poor pen.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So a couple of things on that.
Laura: Oh, I suppose actually, they'd have eaten animals and found the skeletons in there.
Laura: That would be the most common skeleton, wouldn't it?
Laura: Do you remember?
Laura: In Asterisk?
Laura: Nobilix.
Laura: When he'd eat a wild boar and he'd just, like, pull the whole skeleton out?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So that was going to be one of my points, is that they probably saw a lot of bones.
Ron: Also, I think Greek lads, they were forming phalanxes at the weekend and bashing their neighbors.
Ron: I think they saw quite a lot of human skeletons in the wet.
Laura: So why are they talking about it being dry bones, then?
Ron: Well, that was going to be my other point, actually, Laura, is the English word skeleton comes from the ancient Greek for dried up.
Ron: I am not saying it's not coming from the ancient Greek for skeleton.
Laura: So we're the idiots, not the Greeks.
Laura: What did Greeks call a skeleton?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: Me neither.
Laura: But then we just started calling it a dry up.
Laura: That doesn't make any sense.
Ron: Hang on.
Ron: Ancient Greek translator.
Laura: Come for the Gory halloween details stay for the ancient Greek.
Ron: Translator come for percy, I don't know how to work oh, what, it's just going to be a Greek word.
Ron: This isn't going to tell us anything.
Laura: And then you'll translate it and it'll say skeleton.
Laura: But that's the trouble with the Greeks, they don't have much etymology, do they, because they just invented it all.
Ron: No, that's not true, is it?
Ron: Next fact, do you know how many bones a human has?
Laura: 300 and something?
Ron: No.
Laura: 292.
Ron: No.
Laura: 570.
Ron: No.
Laura: 400 and something.
Ron: No.
Laura: 200 and something.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: 270.
Ron: No.
Ron: Well, you should have actually asked.
Ron: Depends how old they are.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You have more when you're a kid, didn't you?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So you actually start at 270 ish, and then that decreases to 206, which.
Laura: The thought of that is four bones go away.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: What meld together?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Where joints have you got?
Ron: Well, you'd have fewer joints, wouldn't you?
Laura: No, I mean as a kid.
Ron: Well, like your skull is in, like, ten parts or something when you're a kid, that's how you slide out a f****.
Ron: Yikes.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So it can keep growing.
Laura: So what, then?
Laura: Are your legs in two parts?
Ron: I don't think so.
Laura: What else is in two parts?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: You got more spine.
Laura: No, kids are bendy.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Got more arms.
Laura: How can you just have all these extra bones, kid?
Ron: Extra bones.
Laura: Oh, got extra foot bones, I think.
Ron: Bone spurs and children's feet.
Ron: What?
Ron: Extra bones?
Laura: Why do human babies have more bones?
Laura: They're all really far apart from each other as well.
Ron: Yeah, babies are disgusting.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I'm inclined to agree, actually.
Ron: Ron yeah.
Ron: Anyway, how much of your body in mass is made up of your bones?
Laura: 30%, 14?
Laura: Surely.
Laura: That depends how fat you are, though.
Laura: Or how muscular.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: It's about 11 an average person.
Laura: Jeez, all right.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Oh, man.
Laura: That means reaches me as other stuff.
Ron: 86%.
Ron: You reach maximum mass of your bones between the ages of 25 and 30.
Ron: So I'm approaching maximum bone mass.
Laura: I'm undensifying.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Well, no, you might have plateaued on good mass.
Laura: Yeah, hopefully.
Laura: I eat a lot of yogurt.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: That's calcium, isn't it?
Ron: What are you doing?
Ron: What are you reading about?
Laura: Nothing.
Laura: I'm just arranging the screen so that I can see the recording and you I really want to go and blow my nose.
Ron: Don't do that.
Ron: The human skeleton.
Laura: Laura yeah.
Ron: Human skeleton is split into two different parts.
Laura: Eh, so you've got more parts than that.
Laura: Ron it's 206.
Ron: Well, there's two different sections, I guess, up and down.
Ron: Now you got the axial and the appendicular.
Ron: Oh, so the axial is kind of your trunk.
Laura: I don't have a trunk.
Laura: I am a lady.
Ron: You're all trunk.
Laura: No, I've got an inverse trunk.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yeah, like your trunk torso.
Ron: Ron no, trunk from b*** to head.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Pelvis.
Laura: And that your core, your trunk ribs.
Ron: Why are you not accepting the word trunk?
Laura: Because I was doing a trunk being a d*** bit.
Laura: And you've just breezed past it.
Ron: I've rejected it.
Ron: It's not good enough.
Laura: Well.
Ron: You got the axial skeleton that's made up of 80 bones.
Laura: And then you've got the Allied skeleton.
Ron: None left of them, actually.
Laura: My war climbing.
Ron: Everyone's the bad guys now.
Laura: It is grim.
Ron: Spine.
Ron: That's 34 bones, man.
Laura: That's a lot when you've only got 200 and 634 in one piece of apparatus.
Ron: Well, here's a f***** up thing right?
Ron: There's so many f****** bones in your hand.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Hands and feet are big, Bonyo places, aren't they?
Ron: If you lost your hands, you'd have lost over half your bone.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: The whole middle bit doesn't even really move that much.
Laura: That's a lot.
Ron: Imagine, right?
Ron: Like, you got a call from one of my friends, and they're like, Ron's been in a terrible accident.
Ron: He's lost half his bones.
Ron: You'd be like, what the f***?
Laura: And then they were like, I assume I'm on the phone to Noah here because no, one else would describe an accident in these terms.
Ron: And then they were like, yeah, his hands were ripped off.
Ron: You'd be like, oh, phew.
Laura: Just that or you're just some hands now.
Laura: Like two little things.
Ron: I saw a tweet the other day that was like a snapshot of one of those films, that implied thing jerks Uncle Fester off.
Laura: Oh, no, it was like an actual.
Ron: Quote from the movie.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then you got the rib cage that's part of your that's part of your axial skeleton as well.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Ribs are weird, aren't they?
Laura: There's like that one at the bottom that's just doing nothing.
Ron: I don't think you have one at the bottom.
Laura: Yeah, I have.
Laura: Comes about halfway as long as all the other ones and just sits there.
Laura: And most of them go up into the big butterfly shape.
Laura: And then there's one that just sits underneath yeah, on both sides.
Laura: I can feel it.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: On both sides.
Laura: Have you got an extra one that's men have?
Ron: An extra rib?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: That's what women are made of, isn't it?
Ron: I think so.
Ron: F****** daft.
Ron: F****** stupid religion.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I mean, it's not my favorite thing, but it's doing so much good in the world.
Ron: And then you got your head, the skull.
Ron: You know how many bones are in your skull?
Laura: 1422.
Laura: What?
Laura: Where?
Laura: Like your jaw and your skull.
Laura: What else is there?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: A teeth.
Ron: Bones.
Laura: Outside bones.
Laura: Outside bones.
Ron: Trident gum is the chewiest gum they hang from your lips like bats.
Ron: Oh, outside bones.
Ron: Outside bones.
Ron: Everybody knows your teeth are outside bones.
Ron: And when you're a kid, they fall from your head.
Ron: So to make things less weird, we say we sold them to a demon that your parents know.
Ron: It's so funny.
Laura: Unbreakable.
Laura: Kimmy Schmidt for anybody that's wondering what this bit is and wishing to enjoy it for themselves.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: 22 bones and seven associated bones.
Laura: What are the 22 bones of the skull?
Laura: Right, hang on.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: The skull is divisible into two parts.
Laura: You got the cranium, which lodges and protects the brain.
Laura: That's got eight bones in it.
Laura: Ron occipital, two.
Ron: You really think of it as a.
Laura: Wanna, but no, it's eight pieces.
Laura: And then the skeleton of the face has 14 two nasal bones, two maxilli, two lacrimals, two zygomatics.
Laura: This skull is zygomatic.
Laura: Why is skull lightning?
Laura: Two palatines and two inferior nasal conki.
Laura: Voma and a mandible.
Laura: That's the jaw.
Ron: Speak for yourself.
Laura: Yeah, well, yours is super.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So, no, not including your outside bone teeth there.
Ron: I like this.
Ron: Snapoid the snifoid.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: Spanoidal, I think, Ron, it's just called.
Ron: A spanoid on this one.
Laura: Spanoidal ethmoidal.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Those are your 22 head bones.
Laura: Your head bones connected to that song really simplified it based on this.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Pareto is connected to the frontal to poil and occipital.
Ron: The frontal to poil and occipital connection.
Ron: psychomatic.
Ron: The sphere for it and the mandible.
Laura: Do you think people at medical school have to sing that properly with every bone, 207 bones later?
Ron: I don't think they sing to learn.
Ron: I think that selects education.
Laura: Somebody sent me a TikTok the other day that was like somebody with ADHD who's like do you know how hard it is to have a conversation when everything anybody says makes a song pop into your head?
Laura: Is that an ADHD thing?
Laura: The evidence is mounting.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You got a funny brain.
Ron: But that's okay, we like it.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It's weird how much things make you think of songs when you're not really that fussed about music.
Laura: No.
Ron: Never listen to music that must be haunting.
Ron: That would be like me just forever getting like I don't know, just sports facts popping into my head.
Ron: All the know every now and again, I just think of a really banging goal I saw.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then, Laura, you've got your appendicular bones.
Ron: So that's kind of the ones that are appendixy on the edges.
Ron: So you got your pectoral girdles, your upper limbs.
Laura: Pectoral girdle.
Ron: You got your pelvic girdle, too.
Ron: Got your pelvic girdle.
Laura: I've refused to wear a pelvic girdle since 2001.
Ron: Or pelvis is the other word for a pelvic girdle.
Laura: I think we should pelvic girdle.
Laura: That should be the name of our band.
Laura: Pelvis Resley pelvic girdle.
Laura: When we're doing Lex.
Laura: Education the musical can be the in house band.
Ron: All right, I like it.
Ron: And the lower limbs, it says on Wikipedia, their functions are to make locomotion possible and to protect the major organs of digestion, excretion and reproduction.
Laura: Saving your pooh glands basically protect the s******.
Ron: Come on.
Laura: Nobody lives forever.
Laura: I've been turned into a cow.
Laura: Can I go home?
Ron: Other fun bone facts I found, Laura, the only bone in the human body not connected to another is the hyoid, which is why you don't hear about it in the song.
Ron: A V shaped bone located at the base of the tongue.
Laura: There's a bone at the back of your tongue where base is base the back or the front?
Laura: That's the tip, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: That's fun.
Laura: Because that's two tongue fact.
Laura: Fun tongue.
Laura: Two fun tongue two fun tongue facts.
Laura: That's hard to say.
Laura: Try and say that.
Laura: Two fun tongue facts.
Ron: Two fun tongue facts.
Laura: You said it okay because the tongue is the only muscle in the body that's only connected at one end.
Laura: And now it's got the only bone that's not connected to anything.
Ron: What's the highoid?
Ron: The high OID is connected to nothing.
Laura: What's it for then?
Laura: Just for stability?
Ron: It's v shaped.
Laura: No, Ron, what's it for?
Laura: Edit out you typing.
Laura: If you find out, insert some music which will make it seem like Ron knows the answer here.
Ron: Now, it's funny that you should ask that lawyer, because the highoid bone, it's horseshoe shaped bone situated at the anterior midline of the neck between the chin and the thyroid cartilage.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: It's classed as an irregular bone.
Ron: It has horns, greater horns.
Ron: Lesser horns.
Ron: Horns, yeah.
Ron: Function.
Ron: Now I'm going to talk about the function that I know.
Ron: It's present in many mammals.
Ron: It allows a wider range of tongue, pharyngeal and laryngeal movement.
Laura: Okay, so that's what it's for, then.
Laura: I'm trying to drink my water, but the ice won't melt water.
Ron: So this bone allows us basically to it makes us allows us to make a wider range of sounds.
Laura: That's really useful because without that, we wouldn't have podcasting.
Ron: We also wouldn't have podcasting on no, that's wrong.
Laura: Advert.
Ron: Its descent in living creatures is not unique to H*** sapiens and does not allow the production of a wide range of sounds.
Laura: Well, bloody h***.
Laura: Contradict yourself, moron.
Ron: No, I misread it the first time.
Ron: With a lower larynx, men do not produce a wider range of sounds than women and two year old babies.
Ron: Moreover, the larynx position of neanderthals was not a handicap in producing speech sounds.
Ron: That's quite obnoxious, isn't it?
Laura: Sorry, Ron, I don't know if I can drink the tap water here.
Laura: And there's no water on this floor.
Laura: There's only an ice machine.
Laura: So I'm having to fill my water bottle with ice and then melt it with a bit of kettle water.
Ron: I'm sure you can.
Ron: It's Scandinavia.
Ron: Can you drink?
Ron: Where are you?
Laura: Oslo.
Ron: Oslo tap water.
Ron: In summary, La tap water is legally safe to drink.
Laura: La?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I misspelled Oslo.
Laura: As Los Angeles.
Ron: Tap water is considered safe to drink all over Norway.
Laura: Fabulous.
Laura: Well done, Norway.
Laura: I shall be hydrated at last.
Ron: Did you?
Ron: Here's something that f***** me up earlier.
Ron: Turtle shells.
Ron: You know that's their ribs.
Ron: No, outside ribs.
Ron: Outside ribs.
Ron: Everybody knows your shell is outside ribs.
Laura: I did see a thing the other day that was like, you've got to stop considering turtles and tortoises going inside their shell.
Laura: That is them.
Ron: But they still go inside it.
Ron: My finger is still in my b*******.
Laura: Yeah, but if you go like that, that's kind of what a turtle is doing.
Laura: It's just like covering its head with its arms.
Ron: Who told you this?
Ron: And why were they wasting thought power on it?
Laura: It's the same person that popped around to tell me about the earth bulging.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I just saw it saw a picture of like an inside out turtle kind of thing.
Ron: I don't know if it was just the way you said it there, but it really smacked of the sort of social justice, kind of you have to stop considering turtles like that.
Ron: It's actually quite offensive to turtle culture.
Laura: Yeah, but I think no, what I mean is, I don't think they're like snails.
Laura: Like a snail can survive without its shell.
Laura: It's not like no, it can't.
Laura: I think it can.
Ron: No, that's not what slugs are.
Laura: I know that.
Laura: But basically like a snail.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: No, you're thinking of hermit crabs.
Laura: All right, then.
Laura: Hermit crabs.
Laura: Turtles are not like hermit crabs.
Ron: They're saying that their shells yeah, it's their ribs.
Laura: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Ron: But they can still go inside the shell.
Laura: No, they're more like tucking up than, like, going in tucking up.
Ron: Wait, let's pull that thread.
Laura: Tucking up where they're like curling up in a ball.
Laura: That's like turtle curl inside their shell, kind of.
Laura: What the f*** are you talking about?
Laura: I don't know, okay?
Laura: The meme made more sense than I currently are.
Laura: Fine.
Laura: I will google it.
Laura: Turtles going inside shell.
Laura: How do you find just a random meme you once saw?
Laura: I don't know, Ron.
Laura: And it doesn't matter.
Laura: I found a cut through of a turtle, though.
Laura: Anyway, carry on.
Ron: The guccarosaurus femur bone is the biggest bone kucharosaurus is the biggest bone ever found.
Ron: 1.9 meters.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: It weighed over 100 required well, it says this, right?
Ron: It says, which spanned 1.9 meters, was split into three parts, each weighing over 100 required three people to lift it up.
Ron: Yeah, because it was split into three pieces.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And that moral one.
Laura: Imagine what a moral one would have been because they're usually bigger in these.
Ron: Womb.
Laura: Dinosaurs didn't have wombs, did they?
Ron: No.
Laura: Cool eggs.
Ron: I'm like skeletons.
Ron: Laura do you feel spooked?
Laura: Yeah, spooky.
Ron: Spooky.
Laura: Laura spook.
Laura: Spook.
Laura: Spook.
Laura: When you're spooking, too.
Ron: Don't judge a spook by its spook.
Laura: Don't spook a dog when it's down.
Ron: Well, we've got more, though.
Ron: That's not the end of the episode, because what's the other spooky body from Halloween?
Laura: Scooby Doo.
Ron: Spooky Doo.
Laura: No, Scooby.
Laura: Spook.
Ron: It's mummies.
Laura: I am terrified of our mum.
Laura: What if she calls me, tells me about something, and I have to care?
Ron: That won't happen.
Laura: Oh, it does.
Laura: The other day to tell me what she's got the nephews for Christmas.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: She told me about that as well.
Ron: She didn't ring me, though.
Laura: Just messaged you?
Ron: No, I saw her in person at the weekend.
Laura: Were you allowed to cook?
Ron: I did cook on the Sunday, but only through a misunderstanding.
Ron: She had prepared everything.
Laura: Oh, right.
Laura: Just in case you try and put celery or carrots in it.
Ron: No, I made jerk rice.
Laura: Jerk rice?
Ron: Jerk rice.
Laura: Why did these grains cross the road?
Ron: Basmati.
Ron: Oh, I got one.
Ron: I got one.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Why did rice?
Ron: Walks into a barman, says, Why the long grain?
Laura: I love it.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Good work.
Ron: So, mummies.
Ron: Laura not a lot on mummies, science wise.
Laura: Really?
Laura: I would have thought the embalming would be full of science.
Ron: Well, no, it wasn't, unfortunately, I did.
Ron: Look.
Ron: I found something in The New Scientist about mummification and stuff.
Laura: Does anywhere still mummify people?
Ron: Well, there's two types of mummies, man.
Ron: There's spontaneous and anthropological.
Ron: So, spontaneous mummies, they're happening everywhere.
Laura: What, like if you fall into a peat bog?
Ron: If you fall into a peat bog.
Ron: If you went in a dry cave and died, you might.
Ron: Become a mummy.
Laura: A dry cave.
Ron: A dry cave.
Laura: Maybe that's why we call bone skeletons.
Laura: We found them all in dry caves.
Ron: Well, no, because then they'd be mummies and non skeletons.
Laura: You make very good points, Ron.
Ron: So a mummy is just a dead human or animal whose soft tissues and organs have been preserved, either intentionally or accidentally, by chemicals, extreme cold, very low humidity or a lack of air so that the recovered body does not decay further if kept in cool and dry conditions.
Laura: Why are they called mummies?
Ron: Well, thanks for asking, Laura.
Ron: The English word mummy is the English word mummy is derived from the Latin mumia borrowing of the medieval Arabic word mumia, which meant an embalmed corpse.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Just a straight translation, and then we've Britishified it.
Laura: We will not try and pronounce your words.
Ron: So up until the 16th century, like, around then, mummy only specifically meant, like, a proper on purpose Egypty one like a peat bog lad wouldn't have counted, but now we do use it for both.
Laura: But I bet when people were finding peat bog, people back in the day, they weren't knowing how long it they weren't like, hey, this guy's been here forever.
Laura: They were probably like, what's?
Laura: This critter probably died last week.
Laura: Look at you.
Laura: Like, they wouldn't have known he's been preserved.
Ron: Or they probably looked strange and then they thought it was some kind of demon or something.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Mummies are found around the world.
Ron: There's lots of different cultures that have mummified things.
Ron: Over 1 million animal mummies have been.
Laura: Found in Egypt, and here I am.
Ron: Many of those cats.
Laura: Don'T know.
Laura: Can't remember any of the songs from cats.
Laura: It was too harrowing memories.
Ron: Mummy, the oldest mummy ever found, was found in Spirit Cave and was a natural mummy.
Ron: 10,000 years old.
Laura: Whoa.
Laura: That's f****** old man.
Ron: It's.
Laura: Well, old Spirit cave.
Ron: North America in Nevada.
Laura: Very low humility.
Ron: He looks gross.
Laura: Spirit Cave.
Ron: Hang on, I've got a pick.
Laura: I will put this on the instagram, won't you?
Ron: He looks gross, but kind of like you want to bite into him.
Laura: I don't know if I'm going to believe it.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: He looks like one of those shells.
Ron: No, the chocolate praline shells.
Laura: The ones that look like shrimp aliens.
Laura: Like Belgian chocolates.
Laura: Yeah, he's got that kind of a hue.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And he's dabbing.
Ron: He is popping a fiery dab.
Laura: I hope I die in a cool position.
Laura: And then I want my coffee.
Laura: No, actually, I want to be burned.
Laura: I don't care.
Laura: But I hope I die in a cool position.
Ron: Yeah, he looks like a leathery bag.
Laura: Yeah, he does look like somebody's getting him ready to put him in a sous vide.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Or kind of like he'd just be out on a surface at your mum's house with them potpourri in his yeah.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: This is actually carved.
Laura: It's authentic.
Laura: None of that touristy crap.
Laura: We got it in Malta at the airport.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: Your stubble sounded real strong there.
Ron: So he's 10,000 years old, the oldest.
Laura: He's got such a crick in the neck.
Ron: Very nice.
Laura: Thank you.
Ron: The oldest deliberately made mummies.
Ron: Not Egypt?
Ron: Surprisingly, no.
Ron: From the Camarones Valley of Chile.
Laura: Oh, hello.
Laura: Chile.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They belong to the Ule people, I'm going to say.
Ron: Uhle okay, sorry.
Ron: No, they belong to what the Ule called the Chinchoro culture, which was lasted from 9000 to 3000 years ago in southern Peru and northern Chile.
Ron: They were a coastal people that lived mainly eating fish.
Laura: And how did they embalm their people then?
Laura: Were they wrapped in bandages or are we talking like done in smokers?
Laura: How did they keep recorded?
Ron: I imagine it had mostly to do with the altitude, but let's have a look.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I suppose if you put them in a cave up at high altitude.
Ron: Changed over time.
Ron: They did remove some of the organs, they put sticks in there to hold it open and then they stuffed it with vegetables.
Ron: Stuffed it with vegetables, vegetable matter.
Ron: Then they put a clay mask on.
Ron: Even if the mummy was already completely covered in dry clay, why would the.
Laura: Mummy have like if they died in a clay accident.
Ron: The mummy received a clay mask.
Ron: Even if the mummy was already completely covered in dried clay, of course.
Ron: A process which the body was wrapped in the reeds and left out to dry for 30 to 40 days.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Did they do that to everyone?
Ron: So it was much more widespread in Chintoro culture than Egyptian culture, which was obviously mainly for the lefty elite.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The oldest Egyptian mummy dates back to 5500 years ago.
Laura: And then bloody h***, spirit cave guy was already 5000 years old.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's f****** mad.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: To do, yeah.
Ron: In Egypt it became a very sophisticated part of Egyptian culture.
Ron: They loved it particular heights in the New Kingdom about 2500 years ago, they.
Laura: Used to pull all the brain out and not care about it, didn't they?
Laura: Because they thought it was just gubins.
Ron: Yeah, they definitely well, they pulled all.
Laura: The organs out, but like some of them different jars.
Laura: Jars.
Laura: But I think the brain they just used to throw away because they didn't know what it was.
Laura: They just thought it was goop.
Ron: Interesting.
Ron: I didn't know that.
Laura: Unless that's like a common Qi idiot noise.
Ron: Maybe they had different ways of doing it.
Ron: Do you want to hear about one of them?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So Herodotus described these.
Ron: Father of history.
Ron: Herodotus.
Laura: Big up, big h.
Laura: Hey daddy h.
Ron: The most perfect method is so this is what would happen to like pharaohs and stuff like that.
Ron: I think it was expensive and it would preserve the body by dehydration.
Ron: Like a lot of this, it seems, was so that insects and stuff wouldn't get the bodies because that was bad.
Ron: So it says here, Laura, first the brain was removed from the cranium through the nose.
Ron: The gray matter was discarded.
Ron: Yeah, interesting.
Ron: So they did this with an iron hook.
Ron: That sounds rank.
Ron: A rod was used to liquefy the brain inside the cranium and then drained out the nose via gravity.
Laura: Oh, Christ.
Laura: That is disgusting.
Laura: Little brain whisk.
Laura: And then she just let it all come out.
Ron: I just love that.
Ron: Just like most reverent and powerful pharaoh.
Ron: Next.
Ron: Then they rinsed the skull with certain drugs that cleared the brain residue and had the effect of killing bacteria.
Ron: Then they made an incision along the.
Laura: Flank and removed the idea that I have a flank.
Laura: It's such an unflattering word, flank.
Ron: But I won't mummify you when you die.
Laura: Please don't.
Laura: I don't even want to have a gravestone.
Ron: I'd love to be mummified, but with no gravestone, where would you want to be?
Ron: Under the stairs.
Laura: Like, just use you as a coat rack.
Laura: Like taxidermy?
Ron: No, just amongst the Bobbish and the boxes.
Ron: Like skellig, they remove the contents of the abdomen.
Ron: Herodotus doesn't discuss the preservation method of the organs here, but they do have special jars for different things.
Laura: In a jar with a bit of.
Ron: That, like brain gunk.
Laura: Well, you know what's?
Laura: That the gingham cloth punch.
Laura: And then you just like tight.
Laura: Oh, muslin little bombamon label.
Ron: I was picturing.
Ron: Like, nice little jars.
Ron: Like the gingham lids you get fancy jam in?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That's why I want my organs put in.
Laura: Do you want to be under the stairs but then with your organs somewhere else?
Ron: In a jar?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Not under the stairs.
Ron: No.
Ron: Pantry, then.
Ron: That was rinsed with palm wine and an infusion of crushed fragrant herbs and spices.
Ron: Sounds delicious.
Laura: Your skull's on drugs.
Laura: Body is being boozed up with fancy potpourri, Herodotus says.
Ron: Describes this mix as every other sort of spice except frankincense.
Laura: No frankincense for the corpse.
Ron: No frankincense for you.
Ron: The body was then dehydrated by frankincense.
Laura: Nonsense.
Ron: In natron, a naturally occurring salt for 70 days.
Laura: Natron.
Ron: Herodotus insists that the body did not stay in the natron longer than 70 days.
Laura: What happens after that?
Laura: Gets too dry.
Laura: Starts aging, I guess.
Ron: Like starts crisping up, snaps off when you try and get it cracked.
Ron: Sarcophagus?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Dust.
Ron: Any shorter time, the body would not be completely dehydrated.
Ron: Any longer and the body would be too stiff to move into position for wrapping.
Ron: My name's Tutankhamun and I'm here to.
Laura: Say.
Ron: The embalmers then washed the body again and wrapped it with linen bandages.
Laura: And that's where we get the idea of the mummy.
Laura: Like the chasing Scooby Doo around.
Ron: Indeed.
Ron: It was then covered in gum that modern research has shown is both a waterproofing agent and antimicrobial.
Ron: At this point, it was given back to the family.
Ron: These perfect mummies, human shaped wooden cases.
Ron: Wealthy people placed these wooden cases in stone sarcophagy that provided further protection.
Ron: The family placed the sarcophagy in the tomb upright against a wall, according to Herodotus.
Laura: Good for them.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The inexpensive method, the third and least expensive method of the embalmers offered was to clear the intestines with an unnamed liquid injected as an enema.
Ron: The body was then placed in natron for 70 days and returned to the family.
Ron: Herodotus gives no further details.
Ron: Oh, what?
Laura: So they just got all the s*** out, but left all the organs in and salted it.
Ron: Flushed it through salted back to the family.
Laura: Nice budget.
Laura: Yeah, budget.
Laura: That's for when you haven't done your co op funeral plan.
Ron: So there's mummies from around the world.
Ron: Loads of them are real gross.
Ron: We've got some from Africa.
Ron: Canary Islands.
Ron: Libya.
Ron: From South Africa.
Ron: Then in Asia, we got some from China, iran.
Ron: The Iran one is all f****** messed up, this guy's.
Laura: It makes me feel then like a lot of these are coming from the hotter parts of the world.
Laura: It makes me feel like it was.
Ron: A much more it's easier to dry things, isn't it?
Laura: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: The Iran one is creepy.
Ron: Yeah, he's gross.
Ron: Siberia, the Philippines and then yeah, for Europe it's mainly bog bodies.
Laura: Bog bodies.
Ron: There's some in the Czech Republic that came from underground crypts.
Ron: While there's some evidence of deliberate mummification, it mainly looks like that just kind of happened.
Laura: What about in the like, Tar Springs or whatever, in California?
Ron: Let's see.
Laura: Is that Georgia?
Laura: The jungle where he ends up in there looking for mammoths?
Laura: Some kind of prehistoric film of the 90s where someone comes back from the past.
Ron: Oh, God.
Laura: Tell us what you're looking at, Ron.
Ron: Sorry.
Ron: It's a mummy of a six month old boy.
Laura: Oh, no.
Ron: Yeah, that's from Greenland.
Ron: Grim.
Laura: Well, I don't need to see that today.
Ron: Yeah, don't worry about they come from all over the world.
Ron: And that's mummies.
Laura: Hey, Ron.
Laura: I've had such a glorious time.
Ron: Lovely.
Ron: That's Halloween.
Laura: Halloween 2023.
Laura: We hope you enjoyed our two Halloween episodes.
Ron: Yeah, we love Halloween.
Ron: Maybe next year we'll do a full month.
Laura: Oh, maybe.
Laura: I mean maybe.
Laura: Thanks for listening.
Laura: Join the patreon.
Laura: New episode out this week.
Laura: We're looking at laughter theory.
Laura: Delving even further into that and just hey, be nice to yourselves, okay?
Laura: And be nice to everyone else as well.
Laura: Treat them like treat yourself.
Laura: Treat no tricks treat.
Ron: Trick yourself.
Laura: Trick yourself.
Laura: But hey, look after your outside bones.
Laura: Look after your inside bones.
Ron: Desiccate bones.
Laura: That's a TV show called Bones.
Ron: Wrong.
Ron: Class dismissed.
Ron: The Sun.
Laura: The Comedy Science podcast where comedian Me Laura can't think of a Halloween name when I'm already halfway through saying it.
Laura: Laura spectral rora.
Laura: Like a lion.
Ron: Like a spooky lion.
Laura: Lion rora.
Laura: Lex hex hex.
Laura: Laura hex.
Laura: Anyway, back to this worst introduction for any podcast ever, which a normal podcast.
Ron: Also, are we doing?
Laura: We're just rerecording.
Ron: Are we doing an intro outro right now?
Laura: Yes, a special episode.
Ron: Okay, but we're doing intros outros for the other Halloween?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Ron, we're terrible at this.
Laura: Really bad.
Ron: People have already heard that, haven't yeah.
Laura: It was last week, mate.
Laura: We haven't recorded the intro yet.
Laura: Why didn't we just do it as part of the episode?
Ron: It was the same room episode.
Ron: We were Gidy.
Laura: We were giddy.
Laura: We love to drink petrol tea.
Laura: Oh, yeah, forgot about that.
Laura: It's not a same room episode today.
Laura: Not even a same country episode today.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: No, you're in Norway.
Laura: I am in Norway, which I was just telling you about.
Laura: And then we got halfway through and decided we'd save it to have this conversation in front of you guys.
Laura: So I was just telling Ron, I'm over in Norway and I'm hosting a week of shows here, but I'm the only act doing their set in English.
Laura: The other acts are all Norwegians and so just doing their set in Norwegian, which makes perfect sense.
Laura: We're in Norway, but I don't speak Norwegian or understand it and I can't tell jokes in it.
Laura: So I am sort of like, hosting the show in English and then I introduce an act, go and sit down.
Laura: The audience lasts for 15 minutes and I have no idea what's going on, and then just have to come back up and carry on the show.
Laura: I have learned, though, that ecstasy pill is the same in English and Norwegian.
Ron: You'd think the pill would be translatable.
Laura: Ecstasy pill.
Laura: Exactly the same in both languages.
Ron: Are you going clubbing?
Ron: And so you're learning this?
Laura: No, it was in somebody's set and I was like, oh, this is a joke about an ecstasy pill.
Laura: I think he also mentioned Michael Jackson.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I don't know what the jokes were about, but, hey, I understood those setups.
Laura: But, yes, I'm having a lovely time.
Laura: I only got here yesterday, so I haven't really done much.
Laura: And I was here last year.
Ron: Oh, hello.
Ron: I'm Ron.
Laura: Oh, yeah, he's ron.
Laura: Hello, Ron.
Laura: How are you?
Ron: Yeah, I'm good.
Laura: Good.
Laura: Back to me.
Laura: Yeah, so I only got here yesterday, so I haven't done loads yet because today I just kind of had a workout this morning.
Laura: I did an hour of calming yoga and then I had a big meeting with my agency planning next year and then just chilled out and got a load of work done.
Laura: Edited an episode that's not due to go out till January, but we actually recorded it so long ago, I was like, sat down to edit it and was like, Holy s***.
Laura: We are still very egathon heavy.
Laura: Not going out until January, but, yeah, a fun episode.
Ron: Nice.
Laura: But it's Halloween week.
Ron: I've been doing a big cook today.
Laura: Oh, what you cooked?
Laura: Ron?
Ron: Making falafel and all the trimmings.
Laura: What is the trimming with falafel?
Laura: Like tatsiki.
Ron: Yeah, I made vegan satsiki, I've made a Tabale, I've made salsa verde, made a Greek salad.
Laura: Mate, it's like cooking with Ron again.
Laura: Look at you.
Ron: I forgot we made all these things.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Do you remember cook along?
Laura: What a weird night that was.
Laura: That was fun.
Ron: Talk about again sometime.
Laura: No.
Laura: Tom was so sad about all the cleaning up.
Laura: We should do it again, but clean up after ourselves.
Ron: But Tom got all the delicious food.
Laura: Yeah, all right.
Laura: 500 patrons.
Laura: We'll do another cook along.
Ron: Yeah, b******.
Laura: Yeah, b******.
Laura: Speaking of patrons, I think there'll be a special episode out this Friday, because we've now doubled the content.
Laura: I think it's the second laughter episode.
Laura: It's going yeah, we're looking more about laughter theory.
Laura: Yeah, that'll be out this Friday, so join the patreon or we'll haunt you.
Laura: Halloween spooky.
Laura: Are you going trick or treating for Halloween, Ron?
Ron: No, I am going to a fancy dress party this weekend.
Laura: Oh, what are you going as?
Ron: So it's poirot themed, so I've bought some ear muffs and an inflatable crocodile and I'm deaf on the Nile.
Laura: I love it, Ron.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Yes, because poirot, I didn't want to just go as some fancy lad, which I think a lot of people are going to do.
Ron: And also, I love a costume that you can abandon easily.
Laura: Yes, I'm not doing that for the fancy dress thing I'm going to this month, which actually will be the night before the live show.
Laura: I'm going to a Labyrinth party.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Laura: You don't want to go that way.
Laura: You'll go straight to that castle.
Laura: Yeah, I am going as the worm.
Ron: That's what I wanted to go to that party.
Laura: Yeah, you should come, mate.
Laura: Oh, no, you're in London that weekend.
Laura: Yeah, I'm taking charge of the podcast trick or treating, though.
Ron: Oh, cute.
Laura: Because I will be up in Scotland shire for Halloween.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And obviously niece are going.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So they're going to go trick or treating together.
Laura: They were going to go as Pain and Panic from Hercules, which I think would have been dead cute.
Laura: But nephew of the podcast has changed his mind and wants to go as Peter Pan, so child of the podcast will be going as Tinkerbell, but Tinkerbell in a coat.
Laura: I don't think Inverness at that time of year is going to be you.
Ron: Can'T be that slutty at that time of the year.
Laura: No bustier for you, child of the podcast.
Laura: But anyway, Ron, anyway, that's all in the future for us and in the Today for the listener or the Yesterday, depending on how prompt a listener they.
Ron: Are, or if you're listening to this in three, four years time a couple of years ago.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Or maybe you're using this to discern what civilization was like in 2023.
Laura: It was mainly brother sister podcast duos, Burping.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Before we joined, we started the call, and then Ron got a message that he had to deal with, and I thought I was muted and did the worst.
Ron: Yeah, I got a call from one of the people in my team and I had to help her out with an urgent work matter.
Ron: I could just hear Laura snuffling around her hotel room like a hog, eating what were you eating?
Laura: I was eating an eat natural protein packed peanut bar.
Ron: Yeah, sounded like it.
Ron: And then she ate that and then ripped her fat burp right into the microphone.
Laura: I thought I'd muted because you said, can you mute, please?
Laura: And I swear yeah, then you just didn't.
Laura: I thought I did.
Laura: Sorry about that.
Laura: Burp.
Laura: Ron woof.
Laura: I wouldn't have left that in the podcast if it had been recorded.
Laura: I'd have had to cut that.
Laura: It was rumbly.
Ron: Yeah, it's what?
Laura: Have a hotel breakfast.
Ron: I love it.
Laura: Full of so many different foods.
Ron: Halloween spooky.
Ron: I forgot like eight times what we.
Laura: Were going to comment, even though it's in the spreadsheet.
Ron: Oh, stick your spreadsheet up your hoop.
Ron: I don't care.
Laura: Love spreadsheets and you need to know what's going on.
Laura: I don't understand why you don't love it.
Ron: No, see, this is what people like.
Ron: You get wrong about spreadsheets all the time.
Ron: You go.
Ron: Oh, ron loves spreadsheets.
Ron: He's going to love this spreadsheet I make.
Ron: No, I like to do, like, complex formulas and stuff.
Ron: I'm forever getting asked for help in Excel.
Ron: And then I get real excited, like they want some juicy freaking formulas in there, and they're like, can you help me format this, please?
Ron: Every f****** time.
Laura: Well, you can at least appreciate my organization, though, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, I like it.
Ron: I just don't look at it.
Laura: But then you don't know what's going on.
Ron: I do a good job.
Laura: I made a new tab today.
Laura: Plans for social media to try and boost our audience.
Ron: Nice.
Ron: What's in there?
Laura: Well, you remember some of the things we talked about last time I brought this up?
Laura: Like, you recording videos of facts.
Laura: And then I bought you that fact book so you could write facts.
Ron: Yes, it's that mainly, Laura, I've moved country.
Laura: Hey.
Laura: And no one's more proud of you than me.
Laura: But now it's time for me to start prodding you again.
Ron: Okay, I'm just not good at you wanted me to just record, like, stock phrases to camera.
Laura: I tried that as an idea.
Laura: You didn't like it.
Laura: We never revisited it.
Laura: Now I just need you to look at the camera and tell interesting facts.
Ron: Look, Laura, I'm one of life's great improvisers.
Laura: You cannot yeah, so just improvise to a camera.
Ron: Ron it can't be done like that.
Laura: Yeah, well, it f****** has to be, because otherwise we're never going to have more listeners.
Laura: And that can't happen.
Ron: We have to come up with a cool, natural I'll get drunk and do it.
Laura: All right, do that.
Laura: I don't care.
Ron: Yeah, that's fine.
Ron: All right.
Ron: Halloween.
Ron: Whoa.
Laura: The handset of this phone is so heavy anyway.
Laura: Halloween.
Ron: So we're carrying on.
Laura: Maybe it's heavy because it's haunted and full of ghosts.
Laura: Halloween themed destructure.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: So we're carrying on our path through oh, no.
Ron: F****** h***.
Laura: I've finished my tea.
Laura: But look, the bag had clearly broken and there's lots of loose tea in the bottom.
Laura: Sorry, Ron.
Ron: What's the spookiest thing in the room you're in, Laura?
Laura: Probably this very annoying lamp behind me that is just so impractical.
Laura: I don't understand why you'd ever make it.
Laura: See this here?
Laura: It's stooped like Quasimodo and it swings wildly through the room attacking you wrong.
Ron: Oh, something that haunts the nightmares.
Ron: Very Halloween themed.
Laura: My womb.
Ron: That's the funniest thing you've done in a while.
Laura: Thanks, Ron.
Ron: I was listening to the Moon episode recently, and that little song that I sing at the beginning really made me laugh.
Laura: That's a good job.
Laura: We amuse ourselves.
Ron: Yeah, this is mainly for us when.
Laura: We do any social media stuff, and it is just us listening to it every week.
Laura: Hey, then we can really stop doing all this stuff for the mainstream.
Laura: No, Laura, I edited the pop quiz, too.
Laura: That's going out in January today.
Laura: And for a full five minutes, we just laugh over my pronunciation of the word propanon.
Ron: I remember that.
Laura: Little sneak peek of what's going out on the patreon in January 2024.
Ron: No, Laurie, I'm talking about your skeleton.
Ron: Dembones.
Laura: Dembones, as I call it.
Laura: My womb prison.
Ron: Shouldn't have gone back to the it's perfect.
Laura: The first it's a callback man.
Laura: We'll edit it.
Ron: Done.
Ron: I've really enjoyed my research on the skeleton.
Ron: First fact for you, Laura.
Ron: First fact.
Ron: There's loads of different types of skeletons.
Laura: Can you name any EXO?
Ron: Yep.
Laura: Indo.
Ron: Endo.
Laura: Endo.
Laura: Soft.
Ron: Did you know that some things have what's called a hydroskeleton?
Laura: What?
Laura: Like an inflatable with water?
Ron: Kind of a flexible internal structure supported by the hydrostatic pressure of body fluids.
Laura: Hang on, that's ringing a bell.
Laura: I feel like I've encountered something that does that.
Laura: And then they can change their body shape depending on where they shoot water to.
Ron: Yeah, I think I've seen that on.
Laura: A documentary somewhere or something.
Ron: But no, things like bugs, they have exoskeletons.
Ron: That's a shell.
Ron: Effectively.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Humans, mammals, birds, lizards, dogs, horses, they all have endoskeletons.
Laura: Yes, birds have very light bones because they need to be able to fly.
Ron: Yes, humans have normal bones.
Laura: No, that is ethnocentric or whatever the word is for species.
Laura: Centric thinking.
Ron: Yeah, it's my reference.
Laura: Mammalian centric.
Laura: I don't know what we'd call it.
Ron: Anthrocentric.
Laura: Sure.
Ron: Here's a fun fact.
Ron: Laura, do you know where the word skeleton comes from?
Laura: Skeleton?
Laura: Scally scale.
Laura: Greek.
Ron: Yes, ancient Greek.
Laura: But for what?
Laura: Let's say it's ancient Greek for scaffolding.
Ron: No, it's ancient Greek for dried up.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, I guess because they mainly found skeletons, like, with no bodies in them, rather than thinking about the skeleton inside us.
Ron: What on earth you think this?
Laura: Well, because I don't think of my skeleton as dried up because it's covered in mush.
Laura: But if I found a skeleton out in the wild, it would be like a pirate skeleton, like dusty, with a diamond in its mouth.
Laura: Do you remember that bit in Rescue down under with the Devil's Bayou?
Laura: And it was like, glinting in his eye and she had to prize it open with a sword or poor pen.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So a couple of things on that.
Laura: Oh, I suppose actually, they'd have eaten animals and found the skeletons in there.
Laura: That would be the most common skeleton, wouldn't it?
Laura: Do you remember?
Laura: In Asterisk?
Laura: Nobilix.
Laura: When he'd eat a wild boar and he'd just, like, pull the whole skeleton out?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So that was going to be one of my points, is that they probably saw a lot of bones.
Ron: Also, I think Greek lads, they were forming phalanxes at the weekend and bashing their neighbors.
Ron: I think they saw quite a lot of human skeletons in the wet.
Laura: So why are they talking about it being dry bones, then?
Ron: Well, that was going to be my other point, actually, Laura, is the English word skeleton comes from the ancient Greek for dried up.
Ron: I am not saying it's not coming from the ancient Greek for skeleton.
Laura: So we're the idiots, not the Greeks.
Laura: What did Greeks call a skeleton?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: Me neither.
Laura: But then we just started calling it a dry up.
Laura: That doesn't make any sense.
Ron: Hang on.
Ron: Ancient Greek translator.
Laura: Come for the Gory halloween details stay for the ancient Greek.
Ron: Translator come for percy, I don't know how to work oh, what, it's just going to be a Greek word.
Ron: This isn't going to tell us anything.
Laura: And then you'll translate it and it'll say skeleton.
Laura: But that's the trouble with the Greeks, they don't have much etymology, do they, because they just invented it all.
Ron: No, that's not true, is it?
Ron: Next fact, do you know how many bones a human has?
Laura: 300 and something?
Ron: No.
Laura: 292.
Ron: No.
Laura: 570.
Ron: No.
Laura: 400 and something.
Ron: No.
Laura: 200 and something.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: 270.
Ron: No.
Ron: Well, you should have actually asked.
Ron: Depends how old they are.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You have more when you're a kid, didn't you?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So you actually start at 270 ish, and then that decreases to 206, which.
Laura: The thought of that is four bones go away.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: What meld together?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Where joints have you got?
Ron: Well, you'd have fewer joints, wouldn't you?
Laura: No, I mean as a kid.
Ron: Well, like your skull is in, like, ten parts or something when you're a kid, that's how you slide out a f****.
Ron: Yikes.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So it can keep growing.
Laura: So what, then?
Laura: Are your legs in two parts?
Ron: I don't think so.
Laura: What else is in two parts?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: You got more spine.
Laura: No, kids are bendy.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Got more arms.
Laura: How can you just have all these extra bones, kid?
Ron: Extra bones.
Laura: Oh, got extra foot bones, I think.
Ron: Bone spurs and children's feet.
Ron: What?
Ron: Extra bones?
Laura: Why do human babies have more bones?
Laura: They're all really far apart from each other as well.
Ron: Yeah, babies are disgusting.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I'm inclined to agree, actually.
Ron: Ron yeah.
Ron: Anyway, how much of your body in mass is made up of your bones?
Laura: 30%, 14?
Laura: Surely.
Laura: That depends how fat you are, though.
Laura: Or how muscular.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: It's about 11 an average person.
Laura: Jeez, all right.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Oh, man.
Laura: That means reaches me as other stuff.
Ron: 86%.
Ron: You reach maximum mass of your bones between the ages of 25 and 30.
Ron: So I'm approaching maximum bone mass.
Laura: I'm undensifying.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Well, no, you might have plateaued on good mass.
Laura: Yeah, hopefully.
Laura: I eat a lot of yogurt.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: That's calcium, isn't it?
Ron: What are you doing?
Ron: What are you reading about?
Laura: Nothing.
Laura: I'm just arranging the screen so that I can see the recording and you I really want to go and blow my nose.
Ron: Don't do that.
Ron: The human skeleton.
Laura: Laura yeah.
Ron: Human skeleton is split into two different parts.
Laura: Eh, so you've got more parts than that.
Laura: Ron it's 206.
Ron: Well, there's two different sections, I guess, up and down.
Ron: Now you got the axial and the appendicular.
Ron: Oh, so the axial is kind of your trunk.
Laura: I don't have a trunk.
Laura: I am a lady.
Ron: You're all trunk.
Laura: No, I've got an inverse trunk.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yeah, like your trunk torso.
Ron: Ron no, trunk from b*** to head.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Pelvis.
Laura: And that your core, your trunk ribs.
Ron: Why are you not accepting the word trunk?
Laura: Because I was doing a trunk being a d*** bit.
Laura: And you've just breezed past it.
Ron: I've rejected it.
Ron: It's not good enough.
Laura: Well.
Ron: You got the axial skeleton that's made up of 80 bones.
Laura: And then you've got the Allied skeleton.
Ron: None left of them, actually.
Laura: My war climbing.
Ron: Everyone's the bad guys now.
Laura: It is grim.
Ron: Spine.
Ron: That's 34 bones, man.
Laura: That's a lot when you've only got 200 and 634 in one piece of apparatus.
Ron: Well, here's a f***** up thing right?
Ron: There's so many f****** bones in your hand.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Hands and feet are big, Bonyo places, aren't they?
Ron: If you lost your hands, you'd have lost over half your bone.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: The whole middle bit doesn't even really move that much.
Laura: That's a lot.
Ron: Imagine, right?
Ron: Like, you got a call from one of my friends, and they're like, Ron's been in a terrible accident.
Ron: He's lost half his bones.
Ron: You'd be like, what the f***?
Laura: And then they were like, I assume I'm on the phone to Noah here because no, one else would describe an accident in these terms.
Ron: And then they were like, yeah, his hands were ripped off.
Ron: You'd be like, oh, phew.
Laura: Just that or you're just some hands now.
Laura: Like two little things.
Ron: I saw a tweet the other day that was like a snapshot of one of those films, that implied thing jerks Uncle Fester off.
Laura: Oh, no, it was like an actual.
Ron: Quote from the movie.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then you got the rib cage that's part of your that's part of your axial skeleton as well.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Ribs are weird, aren't they?
Laura: There's like that one at the bottom that's just doing nothing.
Ron: I don't think you have one at the bottom.
Laura: Yeah, I have.
Laura: Comes about halfway as long as all the other ones and just sits there.
Laura: And most of them go up into the big butterfly shape.
Laura: And then there's one that just sits underneath yeah, on both sides.
Laura: I can feel it.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: On both sides.
Laura: Have you got an extra one that's men have?
Ron: An extra rib?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: That's what women are made of, isn't it?
Ron: I think so.
Ron: F****** daft.
Ron: F****** stupid religion.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I mean, it's not my favorite thing, but it's doing so much good in the world.
Ron: And then you got your head, the skull.
Ron: You know how many bones are in your skull?
Laura: 1422.
Laura: What?
Laura: Where?
Laura: Like your jaw and your skull.
Laura: What else is there?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: A teeth.
Ron: Bones.
Laura: Outside bones.
Laura: Outside bones.
Ron: Trident gum is the chewiest gum they hang from your lips like bats.
Ron: Oh, outside bones.
Ron: Outside bones.
Ron: Everybody knows your teeth are outside bones.
Ron: And when you're a kid, they fall from your head.
Ron: So to make things less weird, we say we sold them to a demon that your parents know.
Ron: It's so funny.
Laura: Unbreakable.
Laura: Kimmy Schmidt for anybody that's wondering what this bit is and wishing to enjoy it for themselves.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: 22 bones and seven associated bones.
Laura: What are the 22 bones of the skull?
Laura: Right, hang on.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: The skull is divisible into two parts.
Laura: You got the cranium, which lodges and protects the brain.
Laura: That's got eight bones in it.
Laura: Ron occipital, two.
Ron: You really think of it as a.
Laura: Wanna, but no, it's eight pieces.
Laura: And then the skeleton of the face has 14 two nasal bones, two maxilli, two lacrimals, two zygomatics.
Laura: This skull is zygomatic.
Laura: Why is skull lightning?
Laura: Two palatines and two inferior nasal conki.
Laura: Voma and a mandible.
Laura: That's the jaw.
Ron: Speak for yourself.
Laura: Yeah, well, yours is super.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So, no, not including your outside bone teeth there.
Ron: I like this.
Ron: Snapoid the snifoid.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: Spanoidal, I think, Ron, it's just called.
Ron: A spanoid on this one.
Laura: Spanoidal ethmoidal.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Those are your 22 head bones.
Laura: Your head bones connected to that song really simplified it based on this.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Pareto is connected to the frontal to poil and occipital.
Ron: The frontal to poil and occipital connection.
Ron: psychomatic.
Ron: The sphere for it and the mandible.
Laura: Do you think people at medical school have to sing that properly with every bone, 207 bones later?
Ron: I don't think they sing to learn.
Ron: I think that selects education.
Laura: Somebody sent me a TikTok the other day that was like somebody with ADHD who's like do you know how hard it is to have a conversation when everything anybody says makes a song pop into your head?
Laura: Is that an ADHD thing?
Laura: The evidence is mounting.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You got a funny brain.
Ron: But that's okay, we like it.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It's weird how much things make you think of songs when you're not really that fussed about music.
Laura: No.
Ron: Never listen to music that must be haunting.
Ron: That would be like me just forever getting like I don't know, just sports facts popping into my head.
Ron: All the know every now and again, I just think of a really banging goal I saw.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then, Laura, you've got your appendicular bones.
Ron: So that's kind of the ones that are appendixy on the edges.
Ron: So you got your pectoral girdles, your upper limbs.
Laura: Pectoral girdle.
Ron: You got your pelvic girdle, too.
Ron: Got your pelvic girdle.
Laura: I've refused to wear a pelvic girdle since 2001.
Ron: Or pelvis is the other word for a pelvic girdle.
Laura: I think we should pelvic girdle.
Laura: That should be the name of our band.
Laura: Pelvis Resley pelvic girdle.
Laura: When we're doing Lex.
Laura: Education the musical can be the in house band.
Ron: All right, I like it.
Ron: And the lower limbs, it says on Wikipedia, their functions are to make locomotion possible and to protect the major organs of digestion, excretion and reproduction.
Laura: Saving your pooh glands basically protect the s******.
Ron: Come on.
Laura: Nobody lives forever.
Laura: I've been turned into a cow.
Laura: Can I go home?
Ron: Other fun bone facts I found, Laura, the only bone in the human body not connected to another is the hyoid, which is why you don't hear about it in the song.
Ron: A V shaped bone located at the base of the tongue.
Laura: There's a bone at the back of your tongue where base is base the back or the front?
Laura: That's the tip, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: That's fun.
Laura: Because that's two tongue fact.
Laura: Fun tongue.
Laura: Two fun tongue two fun tongue facts.
Laura: That's hard to say.
Laura: Try and say that.
Laura: Two fun tongue facts.
Ron: Two fun tongue facts.
Laura: You said it okay because the tongue is the only muscle in the body that's only connected at one end.
Laura: And now it's got the only bone that's not connected to anything.
Ron: What's the highoid?
Ron: The high OID is connected to nothing.
Laura: What's it for then?
Laura: Just for stability?
Ron: It's v shaped.
Laura: No, Ron, what's it for?
Laura: Edit out you typing.
Laura: If you find out, insert some music which will make it seem like Ron knows the answer here.
Ron: Now, it's funny that you should ask that lawyer, because the highoid bone, it's horseshoe shaped bone situated at the anterior midline of the neck between the chin and the thyroid cartilage.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: It's classed as an irregular bone.
Ron: It has horns, greater horns.
Ron: Lesser horns.
Ron: Horns, yeah.
Ron: Function.
Ron: Now I'm going to talk about the function that I know.
Ron: It's present in many mammals.
Ron: It allows a wider range of tongue, pharyngeal and laryngeal movement.
Laura: Okay, so that's what it's for, then.
Laura: I'm trying to drink my water, but the ice won't melt water.
Ron: So this bone allows us basically to it makes us allows us to make a wider range of sounds.
Laura: That's really useful because without that, we wouldn't have podcasting.
Ron: We also wouldn't have podcasting on no, that's wrong.
Laura: Advert.
Ron: Its descent in living creatures is not unique to H*** sapiens and does not allow the production of a wide range of sounds.
Laura: Well, bloody h***.
Laura: Contradict yourself, moron.
Ron: No, I misread it the first time.
Ron: With a lower larynx, men do not produce a wider range of sounds than women and two year old babies.
Ron: Moreover, the larynx position of neanderthals was not a handicap in producing speech sounds.
Ron: That's quite obnoxious, isn't it?
Laura: Sorry, Ron, I don't know if I can drink the tap water here.
Laura: And there's no water on this floor.
Laura: There's only an ice machine.
Laura: So I'm having to fill my water bottle with ice and then melt it with a bit of kettle water.
Ron: I'm sure you can.
Ron: It's Scandinavia.
Ron: Can you drink?
Ron: Where are you?
Laura: Oslo.
Ron: Oslo tap water.
Ron: In summary, La tap water is legally safe to drink.
Laura: La?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I misspelled Oslo.
Laura: As Los Angeles.
Ron: Tap water is considered safe to drink all over Norway.
Laura: Fabulous.
Laura: Well done, Norway.
Laura: I shall be hydrated at last.
Ron: Did you?
Ron: Here's something that f***** me up earlier.
Ron: Turtle shells.
Ron: You know that's their ribs.
Ron: No, outside ribs.
Ron: Outside ribs.
Ron: Everybody knows your shell is outside ribs.
Laura: I did see a thing the other day that was like, you've got to stop considering turtles and tortoises going inside their shell.
Laura: That is them.
Ron: But they still go inside it.
Ron: My finger is still in my b*******.
Laura: Yeah, but if you go like that, that's kind of what a turtle is doing.
Laura: It's just like covering its head with its arms.
Ron: Who told you this?
Ron: And why were they wasting thought power on it?
Laura: It's the same person that popped around to tell me about the earth bulging.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I just saw it saw a picture of like an inside out turtle kind of thing.
Ron: I don't know if it was just the way you said it there, but it really smacked of the sort of social justice, kind of you have to stop considering turtles like that.
Ron: It's actually quite offensive to turtle culture.
Laura: Yeah, but I think no, what I mean is, I don't think they're like snails.
Laura: Like a snail can survive without its shell.
Laura: It's not like no, it can't.
Laura: I think it can.
Ron: No, that's not what slugs are.
Laura: I know that.
Laura: But basically like a snail.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: No, you're thinking of hermit crabs.
Laura: All right, then.
Laura: Hermit crabs.
Laura: Turtles are not like hermit crabs.
Ron: They're saying that their shells yeah, it's their ribs.
Laura: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Ron: But they can still go inside the shell.
Laura: No, they're more like tucking up than, like, going in tucking up.
Ron: Wait, let's pull that thread.
Laura: Tucking up where they're like curling up in a ball.
Laura: That's like turtle curl inside their shell, kind of.
Laura: What the f*** are you talking about?
Laura: I don't know, okay?
Laura: The meme made more sense than I currently are.
Laura: Fine.
Laura: I will google it.
Laura: Turtles going inside shell.
Laura: How do you find just a random meme you once saw?
Laura: I don't know, Ron.
Laura: And it doesn't matter.
Laura: I found a cut through of a turtle, though.
Laura: Anyway, carry on.
Ron: The guccarosaurus femur bone is the biggest bone kucharosaurus is the biggest bone ever found.
Ron: 1.9 meters.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: It weighed over 100 required well, it says this, right?
Ron: It says, which spanned 1.9 meters, was split into three parts, each weighing over 100 required three people to lift it up.
Ron: Yeah, because it was split into three pieces.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And that moral one.
Laura: Imagine what a moral one would have been because they're usually bigger in these.
Ron: Womb.
Laura: Dinosaurs didn't have wombs, did they?
Ron: No.
Laura: Cool eggs.
Ron: I'm like skeletons.
Ron: Laura do you feel spooked?
Laura: Yeah, spooky.
Ron: Spooky.
Laura: Laura spook.
Laura: Spook.
Laura: Spook.
Laura: When you're spooking, too.
Ron: Don't judge a spook by its spook.
Laura: Don't spook a dog when it's down.
Ron: Well, we've got more, though.
Ron: That's not the end of the episode, because what's the other spooky body from Halloween?
Laura: Scooby Doo.
Ron: Spooky Doo.
Laura: No, Scooby.
Laura: Spook.
Ron: It's mummies.
Laura: I am terrified of our mum.
Laura: What if she calls me, tells me about something, and I have to care?
Ron: That won't happen.
Laura: Oh, it does.
Laura: The other day to tell me what she's got the nephews for Christmas.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: She told me about that as well.
Ron: She didn't ring me, though.
Laura: Just messaged you?
Ron: No, I saw her in person at the weekend.
Laura: Were you allowed to cook?
Ron: I did cook on the Sunday, but only through a misunderstanding.
Ron: She had prepared everything.
Laura: Oh, right.
Laura: Just in case you try and put celery or carrots in it.
Ron: No, I made jerk rice.
Laura: Jerk rice?
Ron: Jerk rice.
Laura: Why did these grains cross the road?
Ron: Basmati.
Ron: Oh, I got one.
Ron: I got one.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Why did rice?
Ron: Walks into a barman, says, Why the long grain?
Laura: I love it.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Good work.
Ron: So, mummies.
Ron: Laura not a lot on mummies, science wise.
Laura: Really?
Laura: I would have thought the embalming would be full of science.
Ron: Well, no, it wasn't, unfortunately, I did.
Ron: Look.
Ron: I found something in The New Scientist about mummification and stuff.
Laura: Does anywhere still mummify people?
Ron: Well, there's two types of mummies, man.
Ron: There's spontaneous and anthropological.
Ron: So, spontaneous mummies, they're happening everywhere.
Laura: What, like if you fall into a peat bog?
Ron: If you fall into a peat bog.
Ron: If you went in a dry cave and died, you might.
Ron: Become a mummy.
Laura: A dry cave.
Ron: A dry cave.
Laura: Maybe that's why we call bone skeletons.
Laura: We found them all in dry caves.
Ron: Well, no, because then they'd be mummies and non skeletons.
Laura: You make very good points, Ron.
Ron: So a mummy is just a dead human or animal whose soft tissues and organs have been preserved, either intentionally or accidentally, by chemicals, extreme cold, very low humidity or a lack of air so that the recovered body does not decay further if kept in cool and dry conditions.
Laura: Why are they called mummies?
Ron: Well, thanks for asking, Laura.
Ron: The English word mummy is the English word mummy is derived from the Latin mumia borrowing of the medieval Arabic word mumia, which meant an embalmed corpse.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Just a straight translation, and then we've Britishified it.
Laura: We will not try and pronounce your words.
Ron: So up until the 16th century, like, around then, mummy only specifically meant, like, a proper on purpose Egypty one like a peat bog lad wouldn't have counted, but now we do use it for both.
Laura: But I bet when people were finding peat bog, people back in the day, they weren't knowing how long it they weren't like, hey, this guy's been here forever.
Laura: They were probably like, what's?
Laura: This critter probably died last week.
Laura: Look at you.
Laura: Like, they wouldn't have known he's been preserved.
Ron: Or they probably looked strange and then they thought it was some kind of demon or something.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Mummies are found around the world.
Ron: There's lots of different cultures that have mummified things.
Ron: Over 1 million animal mummies have been.
Laura: Found in Egypt, and here I am.
Ron: Many of those cats.
Laura: Don'T know.
Laura: Can't remember any of the songs from cats.
Laura: It was too harrowing memories.
Ron: Mummy, the oldest mummy ever found, was found in Spirit Cave and was a natural mummy.
Ron: 10,000 years old.
Laura: Whoa.
Laura: That's f****** old man.
Ron: It's.
Laura: Well, old Spirit cave.
Ron: North America in Nevada.
Laura: Very low humility.
Ron: He looks gross.
Laura: Spirit Cave.
Ron: Hang on, I've got a pick.
Laura: I will put this on the instagram, won't you?
Ron: He looks gross, but kind of like you want to bite into him.
Laura: I don't know if I'm going to believe it.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: He looks like one of those shells.
Ron: No, the chocolate praline shells.
Laura: The ones that look like shrimp aliens.
Laura: Like Belgian chocolates.
Laura: Yeah, he's got that kind of a hue.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And he's dabbing.
Ron: He is popping a fiery dab.
Laura: I hope I die in a cool position.
Laura: And then I want my coffee.
Laura: No, actually, I want to be burned.
Laura: I don't care.
Laura: But I hope I die in a cool position.
Ron: Yeah, he looks like a leathery bag.
Laura: Yeah, he does look like somebody's getting him ready to put him in a sous vide.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Or kind of like he'd just be out on a surface at your mum's house with them potpourri in his yeah.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: This is actually carved.
Laura: It's authentic.
Laura: None of that touristy crap.
Laura: We got it in Malta at the airport.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: Your stubble sounded real strong there.
Ron: So he's 10,000 years old, the oldest.
Laura: He's got such a crick in the neck.
Ron: Very nice.
Laura: Thank you.
Ron: The oldest deliberately made mummies.
Ron: Not Egypt?
Ron: Surprisingly, no.
Ron: From the Camarones Valley of Chile.
Laura: Oh, hello.
Laura: Chile.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They belong to the Ule people, I'm going to say.
Ron: Uhle okay, sorry.
Ron: No, they belong to what the Ule called the Chinchoro culture, which was lasted from 9000 to 3000 years ago in southern Peru and northern Chile.
Ron: They were a coastal people that lived mainly eating fish.
Laura: And how did they embalm their people then?
Laura: Were they wrapped in bandages or are we talking like done in smokers?
Laura: How did they keep recorded?
Ron: I imagine it had mostly to do with the altitude, but let's have a look.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I suppose if you put them in a cave up at high altitude.
Ron: Changed over time.
Ron: They did remove some of the organs, they put sticks in there to hold it open and then they stuffed it with vegetables.
Ron: Stuffed it with vegetables, vegetable matter.
Ron: Then they put a clay mask on.
Ron: Even if the mummy was already completely covered in dry clay, why would the.
Laura: Mummy have like if they died in a clay accident.
Ron: The mummy received a clay mask.
Ron: Even if the mummy was already completely covered in dried clay, of course.
Ron: A process which the body was wrapped in the reeds and left out to dry for 30 to 40 days.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Did they do that to everyone?
Ron: So it was much more widespread in Chintoro culture than Egyptian culture, which was obviously mainly for the lefty elite.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The oldest Egyptian mummy dates back to 5500 years ago.
Laura: And then bloody h***, spirit cave guy was already 5000 years old.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's f****** mad.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: To do, yeah.
Ron: In Egypt it became a very sophisticated part of Egyptian culture.
Ron: They loved it particular heights in the New Kingdom about 2500 years ago, they.
Laura: Used to pull all the brain out and not care about it, didn't they?
Laura: Because they thought it was just gubins.
Ron: Yeah, they definitely well, they pulled all.
Laura: The organs out, but like some of them different jars.
Laura: Jars.
Laura: But I think the brain they just used to throw away because they didn't know what it was.
Laura: They just thought it was goop.
Ron: Interesting.
Ron: I didn't know that.
Laura: Unless that's like a common Qi idiot noise.
Ron: Maybe they had different ways of doing it.
Ron: Do you want to hear about one of them?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So Herodotus described these.
Ron: Father of history.
Ron: Herodotus.
Laura: Big up, big h.
Laura: Hey daddy h.
Ron: The most perfect method is so this is what would happen to like pharaohs and stuff like that.
Ron: I think it was expensive and it would preserve the body by dehydration.
Ron: Like a lot of this, it seems, was so that insects and stuff wouldn't get the bodies because that was bad.
Ron: So it says here, Laura, first the brain was removed from the cranium through the nose.
Ron: The gray matter was discarded.
Ron: Yeah, interesting.
Ron: So they did this with an iron hook.
Ron: That sounds rank.
Ron: A rod was used to liquefy the brain inside the cranium and then drained out the nose via gravity.
Laura: Oh, Christ.
Laura: That is disgusting.
Laura: Little brain whisk.
Laura: And then she just let it all come out.
Ron: I just love that.
Ron: Just like most reverent and powerful pharaoh.
Ron: Next.
Ron: Then they rinsed the skull with certain drugs that cleared the brain residue and had the effect of killing bacteria.
Ron: Then they made an incision along the.
Laura: Flank and removed the idea that I have a flank.
Laura: It's such an unflattering word, flank.
Ron: But I won't mummify you when you die.
Laura: Please don't.
Laura: I don't even want to have a gravestone.
Ron: I'd love to be mummified, but with no gravestone, where would you want to be?
Ron: Under the stairs.
Laura: Like, just use you as a coat rack.
Laura: Like taxidermy?
Ron: No, just amongst the Bobbish and the boxes.
Ron: Like skellig, they remove the contents of the abdomen.
Ron: Herodotus doesn't discuss the preservation method of the organs here, but they do have special jars for different things.
Laura: In a jar with a bit of.
Ron: That, like brain gunk.
Laura: Well, you know what's?
Laura: That the gingham cloth punch.
Laura: And then you just like tight.
Laura: Oh, muslin little bombamon label.
Ron: I was picturing.
Ron: Like, nice little jars.
Ron: Like the gingham lids you get fancy jam in?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That's why I want my organs put in.
Laura: Do you want to be under the stairs but then with your organs somewhere else?
Ron: In a jar?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Not under the stairs.
Ron: No.
Ron: Pantry, then.
Ron: That was rinsed with palm wine and an infusion of crushed fragrant herbs and spices.
Ron: Sounds delicious.
Laura: Your skull's on drugs.
Laura: Body is being boozed up with fancy potpourri, Herodotus says.
Ron: Describes this mix as every other sort of spice except frankincense.
Laura: No frankincense for the corpse.
Ron: No frankincense for you.
Ron: The body was then dehydrated by frankincense.
Laura: Nonsense.
Ron: In natron, a naturally occurring salt for 70 days.
Laura: Natron.
Ron: Herodotus insists that the body did not stay in the natron longer than 70 days.
Laura: What happens after that?
Laura: Gets too dry.
Laura: Starts aging, I guess.
Ron: Like starts crisping up, snaps off when you try and get it cracked.
Ron: Sarcophagus?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Dust.
Ron: Any shorter time, the body would not be completely dehydrated.
Ron: Any longer and the body would be too stiff to move into position for wrapping.
Ron: My name's Tutankhamun and I'm here to.
Laura: Say.
Ron: The embalmers then washed the body again and wrapped it with linen bandages.
Laura: And that's where we get the idea of the mummy.
Laura: Like the chasing Scooby Doo around.
Ron: Indeed.
Ron: It was then covered in gum that modern research has shown is both a waterproofing agent and antimicrobial.
Ron: At this point, it was given back to the family.
Ron: These perfect mummies, human shaped wooden cases.
Ron: Wealthy people placed these wooden cases in stone sarcophagy that provided further protection.
Ron: The family placed the sarcophagy in the tomb upright against a wall, according to Herodotus.
Laura: Good for them.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The inexpensive method, the third and least expensive method of the embalmers offered was to clear the intestines with an unnamed liquid injected as an enema.
Ron: The body was then placed in natron for 70 days and returned to the family.
Ron: Herodotus gives no further details.
Ron: Oh, what?
Laura: So they just got all the s*** out, but left all the organs in and salted it.
Ron: Flushed it through salted back to the family.
Laura: Nice budget.
Laura: Yeah, budget.
Laura: That's for when you haven't done your co op funeral plan.
Ron: So there's mummies from around the world.
Ron: Loads of them are real gross.
Ron: We've got some from Africa.
Ron: Canary Islands.
Ron: Libya.
Ron: From South Africa.
Ron: Then in Asia, we got some from China, iran.
Ron: The Iran one is all f****** messed up, this guy's.
Laura: It makes me feel then like a lot of these are coming from the hotter parts of the world.
Laura: It makes me feel like it was.
Ron: A much more it's easier to dry things, isn't it?
Laura: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: The Iran one is creepy.
Ron: Yeah, he's gross.
Ron: Siberia, the Philippines and then yeah, for Europe it's mainly bog bodies.
Laura: Bog bodies.
Ron: There's some in the Czech Republic that came from underground crypts.
Ron: While there's some evidence of deliberate mummification, it mainly looks like that just kind of happened.
Laura: What about in the like, Tar Springs or whatever, in California?
Ron: Let's see.
Laura: Is that Georgia?
Laura: The jungle where he ends up in there looking for mammoths?
Laura: Some kind of prehistoric film of the 90s where someone comes back from the past.
Ron: Oh, God.
Laura: Tell us what you're looking at, Ron.
Ron: Sorry.
Ron: It's a mummy of a six month old boy.
Laura: Oh, no.
Ron: Yeah, that's from Greenland.
Ron: Grim.
Laura: Well, I don't need to see that today.
Ron: Yeah, don't worry about they come from all over the world.
Ron: And that's mummies.
Laura: Hey, Ron.
Laura: I've had such a glorious time.
Ron: Lovely.
Ron: That's Halloween.
Laura: Halloween 2023.
Laura: We hope you enjoyed our two Halloween episodes.
Ron: Yeah, we love Halloween.
Ron: Maybe next year we'll do a full month.
Laura: Oh, maybe.
Laura: I mean maybe.
Laura: Thanks for listening.
Laura: Join the patreon.
Laura: New episode out this week.
Laura: We're looking at laughter theory.
Laura: Delving even further into that and just hey, be nice to yourselves, okay?
Laura: And be nice to everyone else as well.
Laura: Treat them like treat yourself.
Laura: Treat no tricks treat.
Ron: Trick yourself.
Laura: Trick yourself.
Laura: But hey, look after your outside bones.
Laura: Look after your inside bones.
Ron: Desiccate bones.
Laura: That's a TV show called Bones.
Ron: Wrong.
Ron: Class dismissed.
Ron: The Sun.
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