Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education, the Comedy Science Podcast, where comedian me Laura Lex tries to learn science from her frankly normal but absent brother Ron.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: It's shocking news.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: This is not the voice of Ron.
Laura: It's not ron.
Laura: It's husband of the podcast, Tom.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Hello, I'm Tom.
Laura: Yeah, that's how he does it.
Laura: Yay it is.
Laura: I much prefer you to Ron.
Laura: Ron is stuck somewhere between Strasbourg and Brussels.
Laura: I'm sure we'll hear all about his w*** journey from h*** next week.
Laura: But thank you very much husband of the podcast Tom, for stepping in to be a much needed male voice in podcasting.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Yes, there's just not enough white men talking into microphones these days.
Laura: So Tom's here to do the intros and outros with me.
Laura: There's not loads to talk about in the intro this week because Tom doesn't listen to the podcast.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: No, not usually.
Laura: Why not Tom?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: The problem I have with the podcast, it's a very good and funny podcast, keep listening listeners, but for me, hearing Laura just lose focus and disrespect Ron is too much like my everyday life for that to also be part of my leisure activity fair.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: I listened to the first few episodes and was like, I feel for Ron so much, I can't put myself through this.
Laura: I'm really glad that you chose staying married to me and not listening to the podcast above.
Laura: Listening to the podcast but leaving me.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Those are the two options.
Laura: Thanks babe.
Laura: So thank you.
Laura: You've been lovely this week listeners as ever.
Laura: And you Tom, you have to you're always nice.
Laura: Well actually haven't really seen you this week. Today'S first and that's been great.
Laura: That's been very nice.
Laura: But we enjoyed the big pet expo that we had this week.
Laura: I loved seeing all your pets.
Laura: Thank you for those.
Laura: And a big shout out this week to Jasper who did a much better job than Ron of explaining vectors and scalars.
Laura: And I now know how to spell scalar which changed several times in the book of Moron.
Laura: So thank you for that.
Laura: And we wanted to say there's been a little shoot up in the number of reviews on Spotify this week.
Laura: So thank you very much for those.
Laura: It really helps.
Laura: Just new people trust the podcast.
Laura: When you're looking for a new podcast and if it's not got a lot of buzz about it, you maybe don't bother trying it.
Laura: So thank you to everybody that's taken the time to review and if you listen on an app where you can leave a review or you can just pop onto Apple podcasts, leave a review there and carry on listening where you listen is really, really helpful.
Laura: So thank you very much.
Laura: And then so Tom, you're going to listen to an episode now.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: I can't wait.
Laura: Yay, enjoy everyone.
Laura: Uhoh, same room episode.
Ron: Uhoh, cat's attacking.
Laura: We're in the same room for this lesson.
Laura: I don't have my notepad because I'm in Brussels, ron's pulling a goofy face.
Laura: We've made a pillow fort to record in so that it sounds good and Yoki loves it, so we've also got little Yokster.
Laura: Why aren't you saying anything?
Ron: It's weird.
Laura: We are very close together.
Ron: Also because you don't have a notebook, so you're not going to be doing anything.
Laura: I am, I'm going to learn.
Ron: Can you take notes on your laptop?
Laura: Why?
Laura: I can't draw things on my laptop.
Ron: No, it's bad that you should have brought your notebook.
Laura: I've packed so much stuff, though.
Laura: Ron Knocky's trying to unplug the microphone.
Laura: She's pawing at the wire.
Laura: No, listen, it's biology today.
Laura: I never normally take notes on biology.
Ron: That's true.
Ron: And I think you'll really enjoy this episode.
Laura: How did she find that gap?
Laura: You think there was a gap?
Ron: Well, there she goes.
Laura: There she goes again.
Laura: Calls my name.
Laura: Who's that?
Laura: By the Lars.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Yokey, don't destroy the sofa.
Laura: I just need to close my emails, otherwise they're going to be booping boop.
Ron: Yes, we're doing biology today.
Laura: You can escape my biology, the way that we walk.
Ron: Can you remember what we were doing last time in biology?
Laura: Viruses and pathogens and stuff.
Laura: Yes, cancer.
Laura: That was a bit earlier, wasn't it?
Ron: We did, yes.
Ron: Viruses.
Ron: We learn about viruses, whether they're alive, whether they're not.
Laura: It's a debate today.
Laura: Scientists, including myself.
Ron: Where do you fall on the hundred percent?
Laura: Alive.
Ron: Really?
Ron: Yeah, 100%.
Ron: No doubt.
Laura: No doubt.
Laura: They are the Gwen Stefani of alive things.
Ron: And do you not understand why this are to be?
Laura: Nah, I totally understood.
Laura: You said they need a little extra person to help them reproduce, but I'm saying they work that out.
Laura: They get that stuff.
Laura: They reproduce.
Ron: Sure.
Ron: Today we're going to are you on.
Laura: The other side of the debate, Ron?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You think they're dead?
Ron: I don't think they're strictly alive.
Laura: Yeah, dead.
Laura: Ron and I spent five days together and he's getting tired now.
Laura: We should have recorded this at the beginning when we were excited to see each other.
Ron: Yeah, we wasted it on your stupid podcast.
Ron: The Patreon episode we did when we were still happy to see each other.
Laura: Oh, yeah, that was good.
Ron: Yeah, that was really good.
Laura: We've done a lot of records this week.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Exhausting, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I don't know how you live like this.
Laura: It's horrible.
Laura: I wish I just had a talent for something else.
Ron: I just want to go back to.
Laura: Replying to emails for a living.
Laura: Hello, I'm on Crunch, the business quarterlies.
Ron: We're doing bacterial infections today.
Laura: Cool.
Laura: Bacteria are definitely alive.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Single celled bacteria?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: What else do you know about bacteria?
Laura: You get bacterian, camels andromedrine camels bacteria.
Laura: You get good bacteria, bad bacteria in terms of how it affects us.
Ron: Bifidus digestivous, crammed it in yoghurts.
Laura: That's what we've done over civilization.
Laura: They're always finding new bacteria, don't lick mud, stuff like that.
Laura: Yeah, that's what I know.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I don't think any of that was outwardly false.
Laura: Cool.
Laura: Keep teaching.
Laura: Are you nervous because you know Judith can hear?
Ron: No.
Laura: I'm very near you and you're not doing anything.
Laura: I'm looking at the record, checking the levels, talking back.
Laura: I'm hosting a podcast.
Laura: That is what I'm doing.
Laura: I am learning.
Laura: Quiz me on what we've done.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Bacteria are super fun, much more fun than viruses.
Ron: Much less complicated.
Laura: Right.
Ron: Because they are essentially just little beasts.
Laura: And then they reproduce real quick.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They reproduce by just splitting in half.
Laura: M one, s one, g two.
Ron: Yeah, all of those things, they're much less alien than viruses.
Ron: They work a lot like tiny little animals.
Laura: Okay, okay.
Ron: When you when you have a bacterial infection and it makes you feel sore.
Laura: I feel so sore.
Laura: No one's ever said that in the history of the world.
Laura: How do you feel?
Laura: I feel sore today.
Laura: That sounds so weird.
Laura: People say that you're feeling sick?
Laura: No, not sick.
Laura: More sore.
Ron: Your joints are sore stuff when you get an infection in pain.
Laura: What do you mean, an infection?
Ron: Like when you have a disease.
Laura: Why are my joints hurting?
Ron: You never get that.
Laura: No, I get joint hurts when I'm like, active.
Ron: You never get that.
Ron: Your sinuses will be swollen up and sore.
Laura: Swollen up?
Laura: I wouldn't say sore.
Laura: Sore to me is like, oh, I've cut myself and it's sore.
Laura: No, that's not what sore means, isn't it?
Ron: Sore is like an ache.
Laura: No, sore is much more sharp than that.
Laura: Ache is ache.
Ron: No, you've cut yourself and that hurts?
Laura: Yeah, it's sore.
Ron: That's weird, man.
Laura: No, it isn't.
Laura: Oh, I've got a tummy ache.
Laura: It's very sore.
Laura: No, but that's different as well.
Laura: I've got headache.
Laura: That could be sore.
Laura: I've got a sore head.
Ron: Painful or aching?
Laura: Yeah, painful like cutting.
Laura: I'm not going to use it.
Laura: I'm not going to use that bit.
Laura: Doesn't fit.
Ron: A raw or painful place on the body.
Laura: Yeah, raw.
Laura: I'd agree.
Ron: All of us had sores and infections on our hands.
Ron: Google cuts.
Laura: Infected cuts.
Laura: Not just aching shoulder.
Laura: Ow, he flicked me.
Laura: Not just aching shoulder.
Laura: That's not sore.
Ron: Physically tender.
Ron: As from overuse or injury.
Laura: Physically tender.
Laura: I don't like it when you say that.
Ron: Feeling or affected by pain.
Ron: Achy Merriam Webster.
Laura: All right, you use it how you like.
Laura: I just wouldn't use sore for a dull pain.
Laura: You're using it wrong.
Laura: I'm not using it wrong.
Laura: You've just listed all the ways I use it and the ways you use it.
Laura: We're both free to use it how.
Ron: We like, you're idiot.
Laura: Right, email us, pleaseeducation@gmail.com.
Laura: When should you and shouldn't you be using the word sore?
Ron: So how do you want to describe it?
Laura: What?
Ron: You get infected?
Ron: You have like, a sore throat?
Laura: Yeah, that would be sore.
Laura: That's not aching, though.
Laura: That's sharp.
Ron: It's like a raspy sore.
Laura: Aching sore.
Laura: It's raw and metaly that's sore.
Laura: But if it's just like how do.
Ron: You think you spell the word sore?
Laura: S-O-R-E.
Ron: Okay, so you're not imagining you've been cut by a sore, getting this metaly feeling from no.
Ron: Okay, well, when you have a purple word, when you have a sore throat, something like that, from an infection that is caused by the bacteria attacking the cells in your body.
Ron: Okay, okay, so bacteria pathogens, like the good bacteria, they're eating stuff in your stomach, bad bacteria, they're attacking you.
Ron: That's kind of the line between bifidus digestivas and other things.
Ron: Salmon.
Ron: Salmonella.
Laura: Salmonella, yes.
Ron: Okay, so they want us to learn a little bit about the mechanism of how bacteria do this.
Ron: Okay, so on the front of the bacteria, you know, we learned about organelles.
Laura: Right at the beginning, from the organelles to the mountains of Peru.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So we're going to have to lean a little bit on some of that knowledge.
Laura: Oh, those are all the different bits of a cell.
Ron: Like an organ.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Can you remember what the word for like, a bubble or a pocket in a cell is?
Laura: Vacuole.
Ron: No, that's a specific one.
Ron: In plants, the more gentle but I.
Laura: Was right, though, kind of yes.
Laura: Membrane.
Ron: Just say stuff.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: I was watching The Office the other day and there's an episode where Angela goes, don't just say things, Kevin, and.
Ron: I was like, Maybe you are more Kevin than Andy.
Laura: You are Angela horrible little shrew man.
Laura: Maybe you're Andy with a massive baby.
Laura: Anyway, don't just say things, Kevin.
Ron: Vesicle.
Laura: Nah, they weren't little bags, they were vehicles.
Laura: Yeah, they were, because we talked about the word vesicle and vehicle being practically.
Ron: The same because a vesicle a bag was getting dragged down the cytoskeleton.
Laura: That did not come up.
Laura: This is new information because we talked about how some of them walk.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's the protein dragging the vesicle.
Laura: You didn't say that.
Laura: Roll tape.
Ron: So the bacteria on the front of it forms what's called a vesicular indent.
Laura: Okay, what are we talking about now?
Ron: Bacteria attacking cells.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: And they're getting in the vehicles?
Ron: No, they form a pocket on the front of the bacteria.
Ron: That's called a vesicular indent because it's kind of hitchhikers.
Ron: No, it's got nothing to do with vehicles.
Laura: You angrier than usual.
Laura: You said it was a little bag.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: And you've been talking about vehicles.
Ron: I don't know where this hitchhiker things come from.
Laura: If the bacteria have got in the bag, they're not going to be there.
Ron: No, the bacteria are the bag.
Laura: What?
Ron: On the front of the bacteria, they form an indent.
Laura: Oh, I thought you meant the indent was on the bag.
Laura: No, it's on the bacteria.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Okay, don't need to be rude.
Ron: Okay?
Laura: Stop hurting me.
Laura: It's rude.
Ron: Front of the bacteria, they form an indent.
Ron: This is called the vesicular indent.
Laura: Right, okay.
Ron: Then around the edges of this, like.
Laura: The opposite of one of those Canadian snow trains.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Around the edge of this, you have large cell surface enzymes.
Ron: Do you remember what enzymes are for?
Ron: Share with the clause.
Laura: Making protein.
Laura: Classic answer.
Ron: They are protein.
Ron: We never talk about ribosomes.
Ron: Why is this your answer?
Laura: Because it was the first thing we did.
Laura: So it's there at the front, ready to go.
Laura: Because it's the main character.
Ron: No, enzymes are proteins.
Laura: Okay, that's close then.
Laura: Half a point.
Laura: That's an amino acid.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: So they have the vesicular indent.
Ron: They have these enzymes around the tongue.
Ron: These are digestive enzymes.
Laura: It's like a little mouth, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And the enzymes are like teeth around that.
Ron: And then they will form a little pocket.
Ron: The vesicular indent will close up and then they've taken a little chunk and that will move into the bacteria to be digested.
Laura: Taking a little chunk of what?
Ron: The cell that they're attacking, remember?
Laura: Oh, yes.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: What's really cool.
Laura: Wouldn'T that be weird if humans took a bite and then their mouth just like, vanished down inside them into their tummy with the food?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: It's essentially what's happening.
Ron: Forms a vesicle that then moves inside, dragged by your friend of mine, the walkie walkie protein.
Laura: The mouth is dragged by the protein.
Ron: The vesicle is dragged by the protein.
Laura: The whole vesicle or just the indent?
Ron: Well, it's called an indent.
Ron: When it's an indent, when it forms up into a vesicle.
Ron: It's a vesicle.
Laura: And then where is it going?
Ron: Into the bacteria to be digested.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Like a lava lamp.
Ron: A lot like a lava lamp.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: What's really cool in the vesicular indent, they have a special organelle that has lots of cell surface markers on it so it can bond with other things and make sure that it's something that it wants to take a bite out of when it's finding.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Little taste tester.
Laura: Sir, your meal has not been poisoned.
Laura: I have a very dangerous job.
Laura: I work for the king.
Ron: Do you remember what the organelles that break things down inside a cell are called?
Laura: Yep.
Ron: Share with the class.
Laura: Well, it's not ribosomes.
Ron: Same last syllable.
Laura: Of this.
Ron: The word lysosome.
Laura: No, we haven't talked about those before.
Ron: First time I'm bringing them up.
Laura: That's on mesome.
Ron: The vesicle will move into the centre of the bacteria.
Ron: There it will hit a series of lysosomes.
Ron: It passes through and then the bacteria breaks it down and removes all of the nutrients from it that it needs.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Do you remember when we were talking about pathogens last week or last biology week that we were talking about?
Ron: The reason why they make you feel sick is because they release lots of toxins into your body.
Ron: So the toxins that bacteria release are the leftover bits that they're then expelling after they digest all of this stuff.
Laura: So it's a s*** made of our own stuff.
Ron: It is kind of they take all the goodness out of it and then.
Laura: They leave it floating about in us.
Ron: Then they poop out.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: It's full of my own cell.
Laura: Poop.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Bacteria poop is bad for you.
Laura: Oh, man.
Ron: Happy with that?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So what's interesting, so bacteria and larger animals, have you ever heard the phrase convergent evolution before?
Laura: No.
Ron: Can you hazard a guess as to.
Laura: What that means evolving in a convergence?
Ron: If you had to put some flesh.
Laura: On those phones, it'd be like when you're involving but you're doing it at the same time as converging with other.
Ron: Evolving things at the same time.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Convergently, you reckon?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: That makes sense to you don't know what convergent means.
Laura: Just sounds like it's together.
Laura: Con.
Laura: That tends to mean with.
Ron: Yeah, especially in Spanish.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: No, so convergent evolution is basically when multiple things in nature find the same solution to the same problem.
Laura: Oh, that's basically what I said.
Ron: Because you said it was happening at the same time.
Laura: At the same time.
Laura: They found the same solution at the same time, because otherwise it's copying, isn't it?
Laura: It's not involved.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It's a really famous example.
Laura: If you see a squirrel bearing its nuts and you go, oh, that's a good idea.
Laura: And invent the fridge, you've copied that off the squirrel.
Ron: If I see a squirrel with its long bushy tail and big teeth and then I grow those things, that's a happen freak stance of nature.
Ron: That's not me copying it.
Laura: It kind of is.
Ron: Really famous example, the dinosaur.
Ron: We saw them the other day at the Naturalist Museum, Ophthalmosaurus.
Ron: It was when we were really speed walking, because we had like, five minutes.
Ron: Ophthalmosaurus and modern dolphins, we walked backwards.
Laura: And climate change got much better.
Laura: That's my favourite part.
Ron: We went back over millions of years.
Ron: Yeah, climate change doesn't get better over.
Laura: No, but that top floor had a thing about how we're all going to die because of climate change, but we walked back to it the other way.
Laura: Everything got vastly better anyway.
Ron: Yeah, we saw Ophthalmosaurus when we were speedwalking Ophthalmosaurus and modern dolphins are basically the same shape.
Laura: Great.
Laura: It's not a good shape, though, so crack on.
Ron: What do you mean?
Laura: There's a sausage with fins.
Ron: Yeah, but it's crazy hydrodynamic.
Laura: Yeah, but it's not sexy, so who cares?
Laura: Give me an octopus any day.
Laura: Much more wicked cool.
Ron: That's weird.
Laura: Just be a tube.
Laura: Oh, well done, dolphin.
Laura: What a marvel you are.
Laura: And then you look at an octopus and you're like, what?
Laura: You've just gone through a hole the size of a five p.
Laura: Now you're massive, you all those legs.
Laura: Tentacles.
Laura: That's way better.
Laura: I don't even got a bone.
Laura: Still a thing, though.
Laura: Fascinating.
Ron: What would be really fun would be to do a spin up podcast where we find someone even less informed than you, and then you have to do the syllabus to them.
Laura: I do think it happened quite quickly.
Laura: Become a storytelling improv podcast between two idiots talking about dolphins.
Ron: Anyway, do you get the point, though?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: You're not sexually attracted to dolphins, and that's fine.
Ron: But do you understand that they're good at fishing?
Laura: Yeah, they do that, like, bubble net thing.
Laura: It's really cool.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: But this is about their shape and about how fast and good at it.
Laura: It's a rubber sausage.
Laura: I like killer whales.
Laura: They're my favourite animal in the sea.
Ron: All right.
Ron: Killer whales and false killer whales.
Laura: What's a false killer whale?
Ron: Never seen a false killer whale?
Laura: No.
Ron: False killer whales.
Ron: Well, good.
Laura: Another whale.
Ron: No, it's a species.
Laura: They do look like absolute budget killer whale.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Well, I wouldn't fall for it, but I can see how other things it actually looks quite different to a killer.
Laura: Well.
Ron: They'Re kind of like the dolphin equivalent of a shark.
Ron: They look like yeah.
Laura: They're quite belugery, I think.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They've got a belugness to them.
Laura: They've got the big foreheads.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You just want to pet it and slap.
Laura: It.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So my point being, convergent evolution, nature finds the best solution.
Laura: Nature will always find a way.
Ron: Beth finds or finds a solution to a problem.
Ron: Often when that's a good solution, it will happen multiple times.
Ron: Which is why multicellular life and single cellular life follow similar patterns.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Like, this goes down to, you know, the lysosomes that we were just talking.
Laura: About, the digesters and things?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: In the lysosomes, in some species of bacteria, some of them haven't got this.
Ron: There are lots of different species of bacteria.
Ron: There is a little pocket off the side of one of them that we are not 100% sure the function of purse.
Laura: Like a bomb bag, like an appendix.
Ron: It's kind of the point that I'm making.
Ron: If they get digestive material stuck in there, it can cause them to stress.
Ron: Sometimes they can die.
Laura: Bacteria can die, obviously.
Ron: What do you think?
Laura: Just from getting stuff in their pocket?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: That's so sad.
Laura: Imagine if you died of having something in your tummy button.
Ron: People do that's.
Ron: What appendicitis is that's?
Laura: Not in your dummy button?
Ron: No, I didn't say tell me button.
Laura: Because that's what I'm picturing.
Laura: Something can't just fall into my appendix, though.
Laura: No.
Ron: Stuff gets stuck in there, does it?
Ron: That's what appendicitis is.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's why you should never eat weed.
Laura: I've never eaten weed.
Ron: You never should.
Laura: Why is it getting your appendix?
Ron: It's got fibres in it, like it's the same stuff as hemp.
Ron: And you can make rope out of hemp.
Ron: Don't eat rope.
Laura: I eat loads of rope.
Laura: It's just the first time I'm hearing this, it just chills me out.
Laura: Just like to have one brownie, one rope brownie before bed.
Laura: Just find it mellows.
Ron: Me like to go to Rotterdam.
Laura: Just down to the docks, just chewing on my rope.
Laura: I find the reef knots.
Laura: Taste the best.
Laura: Salty.
Laura: Happy with are you touching your nipples?
Laura: Indeed.
Laura: You just lean back and grab your own nip stretchy.
Ron: Are you happy with bacterial infection?
Laura: I've never been happier in the technical sense.
Ron: Do you do it?
Laura: Making a little video of us we're recording as a tribute to you.
Laura: I won't post that while you're doing the lesson.
Ron: Bacterial infection, you're happy with that?
Laura: Oh, my God, I love it.
Laura: It's the best thing I've ever done.
Laura: Couldn't be happier.
Laura: Let me marry it, please.
Ron: Still acting like I'm forcing you to do this?
Laura: You are.
Ron: This is a nice podcast we'll make.
Laura: Look at this piece of clothing.
Ron: That.
Laura: Looks like a jellyfish ron's flapping about a banana skin that he tried to share with me.
Ron: We're going to go on to how your body defends against bacterial infections.
Laura: Now, guns.
Laura: Well, and knives.
Ron: Well, we'll get on to that.
Ron: What's the first line of defence?
Laura: Immune system.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Laura.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: Do you know any parts of the immune system?
Laura: White blood cells.
Ron: That's one.
Ron: We'll talk about them in a second.
Laura: Fact, white blood cells eat beets.
Ron: White blood cells eat bacteria.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: The beets of the animal kingdom.
Ron: Can you name another?
Laura: Skin.
Ron: Skin, yes.
Ron: That stops things from getting in acids.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: That stops things that you eat.
Laura: And that's it.
Ron: There's one more.
Ron: Have you ever heard the word cilia?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Not applied as a pejorative to you.
Laura: Are those those little hair things?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: So these are hairs.
Ron: They're organelles.
Ron: We talked about them when we talked about all of the other organelles.
Ron: They live on the outside of cells.
Ron: Their number one job is to slap bacteria that try and come above them.
Laura: I want to get reincarnated as a cilia.
Ron: Well, as I just said, they are organelles, they're not cells themselves.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So you kind of just said, like, I want to get reincarnated as an arm.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That's weird.
Laura: Depends whose arm.
Laura: Yeah, the rock's arm.
Ron: I don't care about The Rock in the same deeply unsettling way that you do.
Laura: Just seems so nice.
Laura: And he can't be because he's that successful.
Laura: No one that successful.
Ron: Mania.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I want to meet him.
Ron: Where does he seem nice?
Laura: Imagine a buddy comedy with me and The Rock in it.
Laura: He seems nice all over his instagram.
Ron: I'm not on instagram.
Laura: Well, that's your fault and problem.
Ron: So the silliest flat bacteria get away.
Laura: Get away.
Ron: Usually they're just trying to move them away, like they're trying to move in a wave and push the bacteria away.
Ron: What they are also trying to do, some cells will be better at defending against this than others, like the ones in your mouth, where they come into contact with more bacteria.
Ron: What they are trying to do is they are trying to slap, and fingers crossed, break the enzymes around the vesicular indent, because then the bacteria can't take a bite out of you.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The other thing that we're going to discuss is white blood cells.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: You know what white blood cells are for?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Share with the client.
Laura: They've like cleared out.
Ron: Can I just say?
Laura: No, I'm telling you, white blood cells have cleared out.
Laura: Everything to just become a turn up scoop.
Laura: Let's go.
Laura: White blood cells, they've jettisoned everything in them to just be a simple body.
Ron: They've jettisoned everything in them to be a simple come on.
Ron: Yeah, let's go.
Laura: They haven't got the same stuff in them as a red blood cell.
Laura: They've got rid of all of it to just be a little empty ambulance and then it turns up, packs it all out, skews all of the bad stuff and off it goes, whizzes it away.
Ron: How is it going to do that if it doesn't have anything in it?
Laura: I don't know, I didn't make them up.
Laura: That's not true, is it?
Laura: Red ones again.
Ron: Red blood cells are just storage units, so it makes sense if they get rid of everything because they can fit more stuff in.
Ron: Not white blood cells, the things that keep you alive every day.
Laura: I got them the modelled up then.
Ron: Did you think every other cell in your body just has loads of s*** weighing it down, otherwise it could be these amazing cells that move around in funny infections.
Ron: Oh, I would if I didn't have all these stupid organelles.
Laura: Yeah, they've got other stuff to do.
Laura: Whereas white blood cells are streamlined.
Ron: No, that's red blood cells.
Laura: They f****** h*** then.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: They got puss in them, haven't they?
Laura: They turn up and make puss.
Ron: I think they are pass.
Laura: Yeah, pass.
Ron: Is an episode title.
Laura: What is pus?
Ron: What's pass?
Laura: Baby, don't hurt me.
Ron: Pus is a thick fluid.
Ron: Pus is funny word.
Ron: Pus is a fig fluid containing dead tissue.
Ron: What's tissue?
Laura: Collection of cells?
Ron: Yes, cells and bacteria.
Ron: Your body often produces it when it's fighting off an infection, especially infections caused by bacteria.
Ron: Depending on the location and type infection, pus can be many colours, including white.
Laura: My pus of many colours.
Laura: Yellow, it can be white, yellow and.
Ron: Green and brown and clear sometimes, if it's healthy.
Laura: Close every wound to me.
Laura: We've got more songs for the Book of Moron now.
Ron: Is it good for puffs to come out?
Laura: Imagine if you still had every bit of p**** you've ever made in you.
Ron: It can be part of drainage necessary for healing, but it also can be caused for concern.
Ron: Don't encourage pus.
Ron: Doing so can worsen infection and it can make the skin more tender and even painful.
Laura: That's the second time you said tender today and I'm sick of it.
Ron: Tender pus.
Ron: What causes pus?
Laura: White blood cells.
Ron: Stop reading about pus now.
Ron: Anywho white blood cells.
Ron: How do you think they fight bacteria?
Laura: Well, I don't know because now I don't know what they are anymore.
Ron: This is kind of what we're getting onto but do you want to have it a guess or should I just tell you?
Laura: Just tell me.
Ron: So white blood cells, they hunt bacteria in your body.
Laura: Hunt them?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So the white blood cells, their main thing is they're very very quick.
Ron: They then have a vesicular indent on their front that they can then use to gromp the bacteria.
Laura: Wow.
Ron: You're being weird.
Laura: I'm not, I'm listening intently.
Ron: You're being weird.
Laura: I'm not being weird.
Ron: Bacteria have different defences against their white blood cells.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Stop leaning away from the microphone.
Ron: I'm reading my no.
Ron: Bacteria have different defences against this.
Ron: That's what makes some bacteria deadlier than others.
Ron: The ones that are better at fighting off your white blood cells.
Ron: Do you want to guess at any of the ways that they can do that?
Ron: Are you just going to say no and we'll just be done in like two minutes?
Laura: God.
Laura: When did you get so Marty?
Laura: Today.
Ron: This is our earliest record ever.
Ron: Yeah Laura's got a flight.
Ron: What time do you have to leave?
Laura: Eleven.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: What was the question?
Ron: How do you think bacteria might defend themselves against white blood cells?
Laura: Harder shell.
Ron: Yeah that's why what's it called?
Ron: Some have cell walls and some don't.
Ron: And then that's plus or minus.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Any other ways?
Laura: They're bigger.
Laura: No they're smaller.
Ron: Not really bad size.
Laura: Stronger enzymes on the mouth.
Laura: They can bite back.
Ron: Some do fight back.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's an autoimmune disease.
Laura: Don't taste very nice.
Ron: No, that's not really part of it.
Ron: They're already s******* out toxins made of your own body all around you.
Laura: So can they build walls in front of them making the don't get hung.
Ron: Up on the wall thing?
Ron: They have cell walls.
Laura: Yeah I know.
Laura: I'm saying the s*** that they're s******* out, can they make that into a defensive line?
Ron: No.
Laura: I don't know anymore then I've had a good guess though.
Ron: So some have camouflage.
Laura: What?
Ron: Well you know that on the surface of all cells they have like these little markers and then that's how you know what your cells are.
Ron: And something else?
Laura: No.
Ron: Antigens.
Ron: Antigens?
Ron: Antigen tests.
Laura: No.
Ron: It just comes up in life because it's a thing.
Laura: When does that come up in my life?
Ron: The last three years of the f****** pandemic.
Laura: But he said it was because they.
Ron: Were all in Camo but they're called antigen tests.
Laura: F****** brilliant.
Laura: What does that mean?
Ron: Did you just hear that word and never go?
Ron: Wonder what that is?
Laura: Yeah, I don't care.
Laura: Oh good.
Laura: Test for the antigens and then let me know.
Laura: Am I dying?
Ron: That's why this is so hard.
Laura: Why you don't care?
Laura: No, it's pointless.
Ron: Antigens are markers on the cell surface.
Laura: I just don't think the average person knows that Ron.
Ron: No that's fine.
Ron: The average person that has been told all of this in the last probably know this.
Laura: You didn't tell me that.
Ron: So some of them can.
Ron: Camouflage by getting antigens off the cell surfaces that they're biting into and sort of holding them on their surface.
Ron: So then when the white blood cell comes along, it just goes, oh, okay, this is one of our cells.
Laura: Oh, we I am just a little bit of lung.
Laura: Been here my whole life long and around.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Others are just too fast for the white blood cells.
Ron: White blood cell shows up in the lung, the other one gone, runs out.
Laura: Of there on fire.
Ron: Others, you know, like when they grow bacteria on like a little plate petri dish.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And you get the colonies plate, you get the little colonies of them.
Ron: That's because some species of bacteria move in herds, so that when the white blood cells come in, they only catch some of them and the other ones can run away.
Laura: Oh, like a little fish ball.
Ron: Yeah, like a little fish ball.
Ron: Or a herd of zebra.
Laura: Zebra, yeah.
Ron: You say zebra as well.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: How can we help our immune system fight bacteria?
Laura: Don't clog it with stuff.
Ron: Don't clog what with stuff?
Ron: Like, this isn't about white blood cells being weighed down, Laura.
Laura: No, don't smoke and stuff because then your arteries are full of crud and then the white blood cells can't move around as well.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Don't die of a heart attack.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Don't have loads of cholesterol and stuff in your lungs getting in the way of the ambulance service.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Don't die.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: It's not just die, it's like just if there's only a small gap for stuff to get to.
Laura: Yeah, it is true.
Ron: White blood cells can move through other cells.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: But it's harder.
Ron: How do you know?
Ron: How would you know?
Laura: Just probably is look it up.
Ron: I'm telling you it's not.
Laura: Google it.
Ron: No.
Laura: Well, then we'll never know when I win.
Laura: Also, don't cut yourself loads so that your skin is intact.
Laura: Keep your skin fresh, wash yourself, get rid of dirt, eat well so that you've got all the right bacteria.
Laura: Vitamin C.
Laura: That's a big one.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Those things.
Laura: Really?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: And a big one that you missed.
Ron: Theresa coffee's.
Ron: Favourite answer?
Laura: Antibiotic.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Do you know what antibiotics are?
Laura: They are specific bacteria.
Laura: What, good bacteria?
Ron: No.
Laura: They kill bacteria.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: I thought antibiotics were bacteria.
Laura: Sure, why not?
Laura: Everything's bacteria.
Laura: That's the base of it.
Ron: Antibiotics are basically medicines that we can take that help our immune system fight off infections.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So, for example, penicillin is a small rod shaped molecule that binds to the cilia.
Ron: And then when they're whipping the bacteria.
Laura: Literally, we've given them a stick.
Ron: Basically a club.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: F****** yes.
Laura: I want animations for so much of this stuff.
Ron: So it gives them much more range when they're whipping.
Ron: But also obviously now, rather than just kind of they've got like a rod, so they're much more likely to break the enzymes around the vesicular indent.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Tetracyclines, you might have heard of those.
Ron: Another type of antibody.
Laura: I think that that is one of the features on the new Dyson vacuum cleaner.
Ron: So you said earlier, give them knives.
Ron: Tetracyclines are basically enzymes that we can take again.
Ron: They bind with the cilia and then when they're whipping, they will cut the bacteria.
Laura: Can you take those?
Laura: And the club ones.
Laura: So there's clubs and knives.
Laura: Just like in that bit in First Night where Richard Gear has to run through the thing.
Ron: Oh God, what a reference.
Ron: Why are you referencing first night?
Laura: There's a great film.
Laura: Sean Connery, richard Gear.
Laura: That Woman He has to run through the obstacle cause of knives and daggers and stuff.
Laura: Yeah, it's like Raven not to be in love with him.
Laura: Yeah, Raven, that was a great show.
Ron: Yeah, it's a lot like that.
Ron: But obviously not all antibiotics work for all bacteria.
Ron: Antibiotic resistance.
Ron: So some are club resistant, some are wearing little knife jackets.
Ron: So they can't be cut by these enzymes.
Ron: That's why you need to take the right antibiotic for the right bacteria.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: There's another one called Cephalosporins.
Ron: That's another type of enzyme.
Ron: They are basically, essentially cocaine for white blood cells.
Laura: Right.
Ron: They will just send them into a frenzy.
Ron: And so whereas a bacteria might have been able to outrun them before, if you've taken some of this, the white blood cell will definitely get them.
Laura: Yeah, okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That is antibiotics.
Laura: I loved it, Ron.
Laura: Yeah, yeah.
Ron: That'S the lesson.
Laura: Thanks Ron.
Laura: This quiz is going to go disastrously.
Ron: Yeah, I don't feel like you've been listening at all.
Laura: I have been listening.
Laura: Test me right now.
Laura: Quick, before there's a week in between.
Ron: Okay, what's the organelle called where they digest stuff in the middle of a bacteria zones?
Ron: All right, what's bacteria's mouth called?
Laura: Vesicle indent.
Ron: Close.
Ron: Try again.
Laura: Indentical.
Laura: Indent.
Laura: It's an indent.
Ron: It is an indent.
Ron: Yeah, but it's not a vesicle indent.
Ron: Vesicular.
Laura: Oh, that's a shame.
Ron: I said close.
Ron: Yeah, and I gave you another try.
Laura: That's the same I can't do.
Laura: Next question.
Ron: What was the dinosaur that looks like a dolphin?
Laura: Ophthalmapod.
Laura: Ophthalmologistapod.
Laura: Op.
Laura: It was an onopod ophthalm.
Laura: Ophthalmopod.
Ron: Why would it be pod?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: They're all pod sauropods Ophthalmosaurus.
Ron: Yeah, there you go.
Ron: The real classic suffix for a dinosaur.
Laura: See, I know it.
Ron: All right, well we'll see how you know it on Wednesday when we record the quiz.
Laura: Okay Ron, we'll record this quiz.
Laura: But I'm telling you now, I don't have my note.
Laura: Although actually I didn't have my notepad when we did the episode either, did we?
Ron: No.
Ron: And it was a biology one, so you don't usually take that many notes anyway.
Laura: Wonderful.
Laura: Me.
Laura: All right, quiz me, b****.
Ron: Can you remember what we were studying.
Laura: Last week quiz you woo.
Laura: No, I've got no idea.
Ron: Bacterial infection.
Laura: Oh yeah, I remember.
Laura: Yeah, sure.
Ron: Okay, so there are 5678, 910, 1112, 13 marks available.
Laura: Okay, to that DM about the podcast festival.
Ron: What's the name of a bacteria's mouth?
Laura: Oh, the lysandrical.
Laura: Indent.
Ron: Close.
Ron: Do you want to have another go?
Laura: Lysosome.
Laura: Indent.
Laura: Dent.
Ron: It's not lysosome.
Laura: It's an indent, though, isn't it?
Ron: It is an indent, yeah.
Laura: Lentricular indent.
Ron: Vesicular.
Laura: Vesicular.
Ron: Like a vesicle.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: I'll give you half a mark for indent.
Ron: I think that's fair.
Laura: Okay, thank you.
Ron: What's the name of the bacteria's?
Ron: A***.
Laura: Doesn't have one.
Laura: Trick question.
Ron: No, it does.
Laura: Oh, yeah, because it poops stuff out and then you feel sick.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Lysosome don't just cease ribosome.
Ron: Don't you cease.
Laura: Kreb?
Laura: No, I don't know, Ron.
Ron: It's not called a kreb.
Ron: No, it's just called the cell a***.
Laura: Oh, that is a tricko, then, in a way that's trying to think of a fancy science word.
Laura: I love trickos.
Ron: Okay, so that's a zero for that one.
Ron: The next one.
Ron: Five marks for this one.
Ron: Can you just describe how a bacteria eats a human cell or takes a bite out of it?
Laura: It's got loads of lysosomes in the indent all over the surface.
Ron: Not lysosomes, ribosomes.
Ron: Not ribosomes.
Laura: Mitochondria.
Ron: Enzymes.
Laura: Enzymes.
Laura: It's got loads of enzymes all over the surface in the indent.
Laura: And so it gets a bit of cell and it sort of gromps it off and then breaks it down and then the vesicles.
Ron: Like, where does it break it down?
Laura: In the enzymes?
Ron: No.
Laura: In the indent?
Ron: No.
Laura: In the ATP?
Ron: No.
Laura: Is it one of the words?
Laura: I've already said?
Ron: It's one of the words that you.
Laura: Said, like, ten times in the lysosome.
Laura: It breaks it down in the lysosome and then the vesicles take it away and then use the energy from some of it and then poop out the rest of it through the b*******.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: I'll give you one, two yeah.
Ron: Five marks.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: Laura, ready for your next question?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Which human disease can bacteria get that we discussed last time?
Laura: Are you sure?
Ron: Discussed it?
Ron: Remember they get tummy troubles if they digest something.
Ron: We were talking about convergent evolution.
Laura: No.
Laura: Were we?
Laura: I remember where we were sitting in your flat.
Laura: They get a sore throat.
Laura: We talked about sore throats.
Ron: No.
Ron: Remember we talked about how there's a bit of their gut that we don't know what it's for.
Laura: Oh, appendicitis.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You're not getting the mark for that.
Laura: Come on.
Laura: I could have said, oh, no, we know what the pancreas does.
Laura: Never mind.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Okay, next one's.
Ron: True or false?
Ron: So 50.
Laura: Come on.
Ron: True or false?
Ron: Some bacteria travel in herds to avoid predatory white blood cells.
Laura: True.
Laura: That is true.
Laura: They overwhelm them like a ball of fish.
Ron: No, they just run away like zebra.
Laura: Yeah, but true.
Laura: But don't worry about the rest of the information I gave.
Laura: Here's what I'm learning about when I sit this exam.
Laura: Never try and give extra information.
Laura: Answer the question and move on.
Ron: Okay, three marks available.
Ron: Here three things that I'm looking for.
Ron: Which weapons do antibiotics mimic?
Laura: Clubs and swords or shields?
Laura: It's definitely clubs.
Laura: I remember the rods, so they have longer range and it's like a harder whacking stick.
Laura: Wait, was the other one like roller skates or something?
Laura: Because it made them faster so they could catch ones that zoom away.
Ron: There are three.
Ron: So that's two of them.
Laura: Acid.
Laura: Acid clubs and roller skates.
Ron: No, you kind of said it before.
Laura: Swords.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Finally, I put baseball bats, knives and cocaine.
Ron: But you can have clubs, swords and roller skates.
Laura: Yay.
Laura: You ready for the last question, Laura?
Laura: Yes, I am.
Ron: Which annual custom can be dated back to Chaucer and is closest to the release of this episode?
Laura: What the f*** are you talking about?
Ron: Which annual custom can be dated back to Chaucer and is closest to the release of this episode?
Laura: Closest compared to what?
Ron: When this episode goes out.
Laura: Compared to what, though?
Ron: Like what annual custom is close to the release of this episode?
Ron: Going out?
Laura: Hang on, let me get Google calendar open.
Laura: retick holidays.
Laura: United Kingdom.
Laura: Is it Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day?
Ron: No.
Laura: Is it Valentine's Day?
Ron: No, Valentine's Day was yesterday as of date of record.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, wait a minute.
Laura: This episode isn't going out now?
Laura: No, now I've got to do some math.
Laura: Episode 36 goes out where's the release date spreadsheet.
Laura: We're not doing 36.
Laura: This is 41.
Laura: Oh, God.
Laura: 27 March flick to the future.
Laura: There's the 27 March.
Laura: Right.
Laura: I've got Mother's Day.
Laura: Daylight savings time.
Ron: No, a few days after this comes out.
Laura: 27Th.
Laura: I'm going to Heaver castle.
Laura: I'm doing a big walk on Saturday.
Laura: Good Friday?
Ron: Closer than that.
Ron: What closer than that?
Laura: Easter?
Laura: No, I don't have anything between this and Good Friday.
Ron: April fool.
Laura: Oh, this isn't a science question, Ron.
Laura: Yeah, just went to put April fools in my calendar.
Laura: Then that's not necessary, Laura.
Ron: No, Laura.
Ron: April Fools.
Ron: None of this is true.
Laura: What do you mean none of this is true?
Ron: Bacteria don't have buttholes.
Laura: They can't get appendicitis.
Laura: It was all trickles.
Ron: It's been an hour of trick.
Ron: Antibiotics are not tiny little clubs that.
Laura: You sell beat bacteria with.
Laura: I love that idea.
Laura: And I remembered it.
Laura: Learned some of that.
Laura: Oh, beastly little boy.
Laura: No wonder he so badly wanted to do the quiz.
Laura: You horrible boy.
Ron: Bacteria don't have teeth and mouths and appendix.
Ron: They don't have knives.
Laura: That's sad.
Laura: It really was so memorable.
Laura: Can't believe it was one big tricko.
Laura: That means I still got one point.
Laura: Because I said the buttholes was a tricko.
Laura: I get one point.
Laura: So do we have to do biology again next week?
Laura: You are such a d*******.
Laura: Do all of the release date spreadsheet as well?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: I've been planning this for months.
Laura: You are such a b*** weasel.
Ron: Funny, Ron.
Ron: Very funny.
Laura: Well, you Belind.
Laura: I think it's kind of good that Ron's not here for this one because what the f*** just happened?
Laura: What do you think, Tom?
Laura: As an innocent bystander?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: As an innocent or instant innocent.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Okay, as an innocent, instant and innocent bystander here, look, you're siding with Ron?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: No.
Laura: Do you think that was mean?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Yes, I did think it was mean, but sometimes people do things and then they deserve mean things to happen.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Do you think maybe if you focused more no.
Ron: I mean, throughout all of the episodes.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: He might not have done a massive tricko?
Laura: No, I think he would have done a f****** tricko.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Well, no, look, yeah, I thought it was mean.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: It's the listeners I feel bad for.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: They probably were trying to learn all that science, too.
Laura: No, the listeners are really smart.
Laura: They'll have been listening to the whole thing, thinking, what the f*** is Ron talking about?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Yeah, well, when he start talking about, like, little bats and knives exactly like.
Laura: All the other bit of s*** science he knows me.
Ron: No, it doesn't.
Laura: Yes, it does, because he didn't say it gives them a bat.
Laura: It says it fuses on and it elongates the shape and then it's kind of like a bat.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: But did that sound like science to you?
Laura: Yes.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: And you thought they could get appendicitis?
Laura: Oh, he didn't say they get appendicitis.
Laura: There's a little bit that we don't know what it is and it's kind of like an appendix.
Ron: Look.
Laura: Oh, it sounded exactly like everything else.
Laura: And now I'm not even going to understand trusting any of the rest of anything we do, ever.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Look, I think you're safe to trust everything he says from now on until this time next year.
Laura: I'm so livid.
Laura: Elizabeth, where are you on this whole debacle?
Laura: Because I'm furious.
Laura: Thank f*** I didn't make any notes.
Ron: I thought it was the Book of.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Morn would be ruined.
Laura: I'm livid.
Laura: Anyway, I look forward to getting stuck in what we might say on this one is no spoilers on this episode.
Laura: Please don't tweet an obvious spoiler about the episode.
Laura: Maybe this will be the week that we make a discord or something so we can chat.
Laura: What the f*** just happened?
Laura: That rotten little boy.
Laura: I promise he is still alive.
Laura: I didn't just kill him.
Laura: That's not where he is now.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: I haven't seen him since this was recorded, so who can tell?
Laura: I was so hungry.
Laura: I was so giddy in that episode, too.
Laura: I listened back to it and I'm like you happy, innocent fool, having a lovely time.
Ron: This was one bit it was one bit where you just said, look, a.
Laura: Piece of cloth, because we were in.
Ron: A pillow for no, I know, but.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: It'S stuff like that that makes you think you might have slightly deserved the giant hour long tricko.
Laura: What a tricko.
Laura: So angry.
Laura: Anyway, so, yeah, let us know what you thought of Ron's diabolical scheme.
Laura: What a b******.
Laura: Also, don't forget to let us know how you will use the word sore.
Laura: You were staring at me and shaking your head through that whole debate, Tom.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Well, I just didn't understand why either of you were even talking about it.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: You're both there going, it's a word to describe pain, and then shouting at each other about that, essentially agreeing loudly at each other.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: That sounded like an argument.
Ron: Yeah, it's lovely.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Well, what a week.
Laura: I'm so angry.
Laura: I hate that little boy.
Laura: I hope his train never gets back to Brussels.
Laura: So, listen, yeah, no spoilers on social media.
Laura: Let us know how you use the word saw.
Laura: Oh, last week's episode titles.
Laura: That's something we do need to go through, actually.
Laura: Episode no, this is episode no.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: So episode 40 was called A Ratatouille Of Rotten courgettes other choices that we chose, possibly for titles.
Laura: Tom, would you like to eat them out?
Ron: Yeah.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Having not heard the episode, I can't wait.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: That used to be my b***.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: And then the seagulls will feast.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: I wouldn't usually bring spare trousers.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Super comfortable crotch.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Pep it don't get the dog involved.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: He was the hero of that tale.
Laura: Quite a few options there.
Laura: I think Peppett was the only one people guessed.
Laura: A few people guessed Peppett.
Laura: I don't think anybody got any of the others.
Laura: It was because we were talking about when you lose weight, you've mostly breathed it out.
Laura: So you breathe out carbon atoms as your body's breaking down your fat, so then a tree might suck them up and then you'd be like, that tree used to be my b***.
Laura: And the crotch stuff was Toby weed on Ron's d***?
Laura: Was, yeah.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: No.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Ron was holding Toby and he just p*****.
Laura: And we were talking about how weird it would be to have someone else's p*** on the thing you p*** up.
Laura: You should listen to our podcast.
Laura: It's very good.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Sounds very funny.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: I just wish you weren't in it.
Laura: We do a special episode where Ron teaches you.
Laura: You can see how difficult that would just be.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Two people learning science together.
Laura: That's not a podcast.
Laura: All right, well, let's do the Register.
Laura: We've got four lovely lab rats who have signed up.
Laura: And so, listen, here are the jobs you've got.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: First up, we've got Matthew, our constant ongoing science experiment being the absolute centre of the Venn diagram of what is a human and what is a hairball.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Preliminary results show that he is the best guesser.
Laura: Yeah, two weeks in a row, Matthew guessed, like, three out of four of our possible episode.
Laura: Congrats, Matthew, you're really tuned in.
Laura: Next up, we've got Kevin.
Laura: Kevin is a local wheelbarrow vendor wheelbarrows with wheels capable of navigating the swamp and reinforced barrows that can hold up to eight tonnes of s*** science as Laura transports information to the book.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Next up, we've got Jenny C.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Jenny joined the company after an accident with gamma radiation that left her completely unable to focus on any podcast except ours.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: We've set her up in a room full of beanbags and just apologise occasionally for what is her life now.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: And then lastly, this week on the Register, we have Jasper.
Laura: Jasper is responsible for holding Ron's hand.
Laura: When it all gets a bit much, jasper looks deeply into Ron's eyes and says, hey, don't worry, Ron, you can just unplug your internet and ignore your phone and you technically never have to hear from Laura again.
Laura: It doesn't help, though, because saying that makes Ron remember he chose this.
Laura: We pay Jasper.
Laura: Well, anyway, thank you to everyone that has signed up to become a patron.
Laura: You really make it possible for this podcast to run.
Laura: And you might have noticed these intros and outros have no pop noises on them.
Laura: And that's because I can now afford a pop shield thing.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: You're really testing the limits of that pop shield.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I hope it's working.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Pop shield?
Laura: I've wasted all of the money that you spent on being patrons.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: This is what you've earned so far, this pop shield.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Yeah, it's lovely.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: You've done a good work out there, people.
Laura: So I'll see you next week for well, when I get a showdown with Ron, I suppose I can be mad at him to his face.
Laura: Husband of the podcast.
Laura: Tom, you won't be on the podcast next week, I don't think.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: No, not unless something bad happens with your trains.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Yeah, and then it'll be me and Ron.
Laura: That would be a funny dynamic.
Laura: But you've got podcasts out in the ether, haven't you?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: On the way.
Laura: Fantasy 1114 five.
Laura: What's it called?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: You don't listen to my podcast either.
Laura: F****** Marna was a guest on it.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: We have a podcast called Fantasy Five.
Laura: You changed your name, though, didn't you?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: There was one called there was one called Starting A List.
Laura: Yeah, thank you.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: We only did, like, three episodes of.
Laura: That and I listened to all three of them.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: And then we did Fantasy Five and we did a whole season of that.
Laura: And I listened to all of them.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: New podcast, hopefully coming soon.
Laura: Oh, really?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Yeah, that's going to be really good.
Laura: But follow the noise next door at Noise Next Door on Stuff or Yellow next Door.
Laura: If it's just Tom, f*** the other guys.
Laura: Just follow Tom.
Laura: He's the best one.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Thanks for having me.
Laura: Oh, who's going to say class dismissed?
Laura: Does Ron normally you're, like, a substitute teacher?
Husband of the Podcast Tom: I'm the substitute.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: You should ignore me more than you normally do.
Laura: No, I'm sucking up.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Did you suck up to a substitute teacher at school?
Laura: I sucked up to everyone.
Laura: Have you met me except Ron?
Laura: I need to be loved.
Laura: Ron already loves me.
Laura: All right, well, thanks for listening.
Laura: We hope you love us.
Husband of the Podcast Tom: Class dismissed.
Ron: Class dismissed.
