Laura: Education.
Laura: The Comedy Science podcast where comedian, that's me.
Laura: Laura, that's me.
Laura: Lex, also me.
Laura: Tries to learn science.
Laura: Not me from her nerdy normal, because being a nerd's normal.
Laura: Now younger, which is also normal.
Laura: And nerdy.
Laura: Who's young these days, brother?
Laura: Ron not me.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: Hello, I'm Ron.
Laura: Hi, Ron.
Laura: Same room intro.
Ron: Same room intro, same room episode.
Ron: What are you doing touching your forehead?
Ron: Because we're in the same room.
Laura: Oh, I thought you were getting schmutz off me.
Ron: No, we're in the same room.
Ron: Nerd culture.
Ron: That's been big since Big Bang Theory.
Ron: Did you know that?
Ron: The.
Laura: Hofstatter.
Ron: He was going to star in a US remake of Peep Show, but then that didn't get made, and then he did Big Bang Theory, so Peep Show.
Laura: Might have Johnny Galecki.
Ron: Jay Galecki.
Ron: Yeah, Jay Galecki.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: He had lots of options on the table.
Laura: Well done.
Laura: His agent.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Busy guy.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Must be nice to be busy to be a talented man.
Ron: Yeah, he's got a certain about him.
Ron: He kind of squints and looks at comics in the show.
Laura: Yeah, he wears those jackets that I hate.
Laura: I hate those.
Laura: Like denim or leather jackets with a cloth hood.
Laura: I hate those.
Ron: Why?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I just hate them.
Laura: Horrible.
Laura: Anyway, you're visiting in Brighton for work drinks because you're a man of business.
Laura: Yeah, I just live here.
Laura: I just found some food in my crotch.
Laura: I put it in my mouth before.
Ron: I and now you're sort of just holding it on your tongue because you don't want to eat crotch.
Laura: No, it is a nut.
Laura: Okay, Ron, what do we need to talk about?
Ron: Happy birthday, Carol.
Laura: Happy birthday, Carol.
Laura: Carol's birthday was last Tuesday.
Laura: Sorry, Carol.
Laura: You messaged too late for last week's episode.
Laura: But hey, happy birthday to Carol, the social media presence behind Bunsen.
Ron: Happy birthday, Carol.
Laura: Happy birthday, Carol.
Laura: We hope it was magical.
Laura: And don't forget, if you've got a birthday coming up and you missed the days where you could phone CB's and get them to wish you happy birthday, we'll do it for you.
Laura: Now.
Laura: Tell us and we'll say happy birthday.
Laura: Why does the note say what's?
Laura: Vestating rats.
Ron: Rat years are 30 30 years for every year.
Ron: Oh, so Carol's like hundreds, hundreds of years old.
Laura: Wow.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Fair.
Laura: Well, happy birthday, Carol.
Laura: We hope you enjoy your ancient, ancient life.
Ron: You have a birthday every, like, two.
Laura: Weeks and, like, a thousand children, probably.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: God, scamp covered feet.
Ron: Well, because things can be devastating devestating.
Ron: So what's vestating?
Laura: Have you been watching Mean Girls?
Ron: No.
Ron: Why?
Laura: You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
Ron: Maybe it's one for Susie dent.
Ron: But Ron's corner.
Ron: That's on Ron's mind.
Laura: He's no longer devastated.
Ron: He's vestated ron his mind.
Laura: Oh, it's a new feature segment.
Ron: That's what I'm thinking about today.
Laura: Get this.
Laura: This will last one episode, and then Ron will lose interest.
Laura: Just like he has with everything else he's promised.
Ron: I'm still doing the register.
Laura: Yeah, every time.
Laura: I remind you.
Ron: I remembered myself this week.
Laura: Yes, once we were ready to record, you said, I haven't done the register, and then we used up half of nap time with you writing the register.
Ron: That's not true.
Ron: All right, go on with the episode.
Laura: Yeah, okay.
Ron: Laura, did you listen to that audio file I sent you earlier?
Laura: What of?
Laura: Just a burp.
Ron: A burp so bad.
Ron: I had to edit out of this podcast.
Ron: It came in three parts, like an amp.
Laura: Was it you or me?
Ron: Me.
Ron: This is when I was really full.
Laura: I edit loads of burps out of this podcast.
Laura: I don't no, I don't think you edit anything out of this podcast.
Laura: Your episodes are just the full meat and biscuits.
Ron: No, I edit out silence.
Laura: Do you?
Ron: Yeah, sometimes.
Laura: Unless you want to show people how long an answer took me.
Ron: No.
Ron: I always edit out some of the silence, but if there's a lot of silence, then I still need to give the listener a flavour of the silence.
Ron: So there has to be a bit.
Laura: I leave silence in, but then I fill it with sound effects.
Laura: Yeah, which I love it that way.
Ron: So, Laurie, do you remember last time, what we were doing on physics?
Laura: Acceleration?
Ron: Yep.
Laura: And it's the episode that went out today.
Laura: And I think it's my least favourite episode we've ever put out.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Hated it.
Laura: Just angry with the whole podcast during that episode.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And, you know, at the end, I kind of just breezed through a bunch of s***.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: What, were you got mad and just spoke in monotone.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So that's kind of the next bit of content.
Laura: Right.
Ron: I've decided we're just not going to do it.
Laura: Well, what if it comes up in the exam?
Ron: There are no stakes, it'll be fine.
Ron: You'll get the question wrong and we'll move on.
Laura: What if I fail the exam?
Laura: You're going to get punched in the head.
Ron: By you?
Laura: By every listener.
Laura: One after the other, 15 punches in the head.
Ron: Oh, no.
Ron: Um I have to take that risk.
Laura: Okay, new stakes just dropped.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So we are moving on because it was boring.
Ron: I'm sick of pyella.
Ron: I'm sick of acceleration.
Ron: I'm sick of all that s***.
Laura: Pyeleration.
Ron: So we're going to talk about now forces, accelerations and Newton's laws of motion.
Laura: Okay, I'm writing it down.
Ron: 6.5.4 .2.
Laura: Forces, accelerations and Newton's particle physicism.
Laura: What was it?
Ron: Newton's law of motion.
Laura: Law of motion.
Ron: Laws of motion.
Laura: I should say rather laws of motion.
Ron: Isaac Newton.
Ron: Laura, what can you tell me about him?
Laura: Our cousins named well, our nephews named their dog after him.
Ron: Yep.
Laura: He was a bad dude.
Ron: Was he?
Laura: I can hear loud traffic.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Right by road.
Laura: Is he the one in the bath?
Laura: Is he the eureka in the bath guy?
Ron: That was archimedes several thousand years before.
Laura: The water displacement thing.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Buoyancy.
Laura: Isaac Newton.
Laura: Newtonian.
Laura: He had fluids.
Ron: Maybe wore a wig, probably.
Ron: Gravity is Newton.
Ron: Yeah, you kind of said that, but then moved on.
Ron: Went back to the bath.
Laura: I just throw out answers willy nilly and see what sticks.
Laura: I've got so much knowledge in my head, I don't need to linger on one right answer.
Ron: So, Newton's laws of Thermodynamics, also a no, no.
Ron: He sat under a tree, apple fell on his head.
Laura: I thought that was George Washington.
Laura: I was going to say that, and then I got confused.
Ron: No, george Washington cut down a cherry tree and then grasped himself up.
Ron: And we're supposed to be like, well done, George.
Laura: Who shot the arrow in the apple?
Ron: William.
Laura: Who flew the kite?
Laura: In the electricity?
Laura: In the lightning?
Ron: Benjamin Franklin.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: I don't know, but icarus is the next question that you're about to ask.
Laura: Those guys with the apples and the kites and the trees, they all are in a very similar mental image for me.
Laura: Like, they're all hanging about on the same I picture a very simple green grass hill with stick men on it.
Ron: Right.
Ron: And that's why you can't tell them apart.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And a minecraft apple.
Laura: And so I get them quite confused.
Laura: And they've all got very bland names.
Laura: They're all just ben Franklin, George Washington.
Laura: Nobody's called Ichabod Scrubin.
Laura: So I find it that they're all very one of a one.
Ron: Rubenham yeah.
Laura: You know?
Laura: Child can you call them ichabod, please?
Ron: No.
Laura: Please?
Ron: No.
Laura: Ichabod?
Ron: No.
Ron: I'm going to call my child Crane.
Laura: Crane.
Laura: I like it.
Ron: Crane.
Laura: Crane.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: If you have a pet, can you call it ichabod?
Ron: No.
Ron: Call your own s***.
Ron: Ichabod.
Laura: I'm going to get a new pet and call it ichabod.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Calculus.
Laura: Yes, I've heard that word.
Laura: Do you know what it means?
Laura: It comes up in American high school things always like, I got to do my calculus homework.
Laura: I don't know what it is.
Laura: Maths, isn't it?
Ron: It's a branch of maths.
Ron: It's a very, very important branch of maths.
Ron: It is basically the study of curves in the areas underneath them.
Laura: T******.
Laura: It's the study of under b***.
Laura: We didn't call it calculus when I was at school.
Laura: I don't think I ever know.
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: Probably ever learnt it.
Laura: What's a logarithm?
Ron: A logarithm is kind of I thought.
Laura: That was just how you pronounced algorithm for a really long time.
Ron: Logarithms are kind of the opposite of something being exponential.
Ron: Something gets slower and slower and slower.
Laura: I think, oh, why wouldn't I have studied calculus?
Ron: Not smart.
Laura: I am smart.
Laura: I was in Top set for math.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Until yeah, but you didn't do it A level, did you?
Laura: No.
Laura: Wrong.
Ron: That's when you do calculus.
Laura: Oh, okay.
Laura: All right.
Laura: That makes sense.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I don't feel cheated now.
Laura: Like I wasn't invited to the calculus party.
Ron: Isaac Newton.
Ron: Born on Christmas Day.
Laura: Should I be writing down these Isaac Newton facts?
Laura: Because this is genuinely the sort of stuff that I find more interesting.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I'm trying to make the lesson interesting.
Laura: Yeah, it's great.
Laura: Ron, I'm loving this.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Isaacy Bod Newton, he was born in wolvesthought by colderworth.
Laura: Where's that?
Ron: Lincolnshire.
Laura: Oh, Lincolnshire is one of those counties that's not as far north as you'd think it is.
Laura: From the name Lincolnshire, it sounds northern.
Laura: Right.
Laura: It's not, actually.
Laura: It's more midlands y.
Laura: Wow.
Ron: He died in Kensington.
Ron: In Middlesex.
Laura: Oh, gosh.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Do you know where he's buried?
Laura: Hopefully under an apple tree.
Ron: No.
Ron: In.
Laura: I was trying to say Abbey, but the A came out in the middle of, you know, like that.
Ron: He was an MP.
Laura: Oh, a member of Parliament.
Laura: For where?
Laura: For middleset?
Laura: For Kensington or for Lincoln?
Ron: Weirdly.
Ron: And this goes to show how much of a f****** club this all is.
Ron: He was the MP for the University of Cambridge.
Laura: Oh.
Laura: And he won because he said, we will never have a ULEZ here.
Laura: I don't care how many Greek islands are on fire.
Laura: You can drive your four x fours absolutely anywhere you want without a fine.
Ron: I want to walk at least 16 minutes to anything I want to do.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: He said, yeah.
Laura: Also, I'm an English man.
Laura: Arrest me.
Ron: So now we're going to talk about Newton's laws of motion.
Ron: Do you know any of them?
Laura: Stop and go to and fro.
Laura: That's what makes the world go round like that.
Ron: That's something.
Laura: For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
Ron: Absolutely.
Ron: That's Newton's second law.
Ron: Does that.
Laura: Stop?
Ron: Laura?
Ron: Listen up.
Laura: Push me.
Laura: Pull.
Laura: You kind of sitch listen up.
Ron: And yes, here's where you're about to be f****** furious.
Ron: What that means?
Ron: That means that when you push on the table, the table f****** pushes back.
Laura: Newton, were you chatting about with your nonsense?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Everything that happens.
Laura: So if I go OOH, like forward with my hand, some air goes backwards.
Laura: So for something to go forward, something else has to go backwards.
Ron: There's an equal and opposite reaction.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Yeah, I said that.
Ron: Absolutely.
Laura: Like an egg in a wig.
Ron: Today we can represent hair.
Laura: So mad.
Ron: We can represent that with a formula.
Laura: Let's not, though.
Ron: F equals Ma.
Laura: F equals Massachusetts.
Laura: That's a capital F.
Laura: I always do capitals.
Laura: A lowercase F is definitely a music.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And you hold your pen in your fist like this.
Ron: Small m small A though.
Laura: Small m small A.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Just the way it is.
Ron: Why are you looking so lost?
Laura: And what does that mean?
Laura: For every action, there's the opposite reaction.
Ron: So the F stands for the resultant force.
Laura: This is where it gets to be tedious.
Laura: F stands for resultant force.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: At least there's an F in the force.
Ron: M stands for mass and A stands for acceleration.
Laura: Mass.
Laura: Acceleration.
Laura: So the resultant force equals the mass multiplied by the acceleration.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: All right.
Laura: I can get on board with that.
Ron: So, with this, if we know the mass of something and we know what force we're applying to it, we'll know how quickly it will accelerate.
Ron: If we know how quickly it's accelerating and we know what it weighs, then we can work out the force that we've applied to it.
Ron: There's lots of different things we can do with this.
Laura: If he's right.
Ron: You'Re right.
Ron: What if he's wrong?
Ron: Do you know any of Newton's other laws?
Laura: No spitting.
Ron: Yep, that's number three.
Laura: Do you know the formula Laboratory?
Laura: It's a mouth symbol a small N, a big I don't know, Ron.
Laura: Let's think about another Newtonian law.
Laura: The gravity.
Laura: What goes up must come down.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: Yeah, sorry, that's my bad.
Ron: Newton's third law is the equal and opposite blood.
Ron: And it's actually got nothing to do with that formula that we just went through.
Laura: It didn't sound like it applied.
Ron: No.
Ron: And I was just kind of nodding along so I didn't seem silly.
Laura: You're not paying any attention to what I'm actually saying, are you, Ron?
Ron: No.
Ron: In one ear and out the other.
Laura: Oh, like a reaction force?
Ron: No, I was listening enough to know that that made no sense.
Laura: If it goes in one ear, it must go out the other ear.
Laura: To and fro, stop and go.
Laura: That's what makes the world go.
Ron: Hate that voice.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Like a creepy vegetable singing.
Laura: If I was a vegetable what vegetable would be.
Ron: A Jerusalem artichoke?
Laura: Oh, Ron, that's such a fancy one.
Laura: Thank you.
Ron: Yeah, you're a bougie b****.
Laura: Thanks, Ron.
Ron: You're not really.
Laura: You'd be a mushroom little button.
Ron: Because I'm a fun guy.
Laura: Yeah, you can just bung him in anything.
Laura: That's the classic thing about Ron.
Laura: He'll bulk a thing out.
Ron: Packed with, umami.
Laura: How's your loam going?
Ron: Oh, man, the log flume is open.
Ron: It's like bloody Creely Adventure Park over here.
Ron: Scaplush.
Laura: I don't think we talked about it on the podcast, did we?
Ron: No, and let's not provide context.
Laura: Now, what was the question?
Laura: How many more?
Laura: So, hang on.
Laura: So the equal and opposite reaction, that's the third law.
Laura: And then the second law is this resultant force is yeah.
Laura: The second law, by way of deduction, must be something about acceleration.
Ron: The acceleration of an object is proportional to the resultant force acting on the object and inversely proportional to the mass of the object.
Laura: Gosh.
Ron: But you don't need to write that down, because that is just perfectly described.
Laura: By the formula fiquils ma ficols Malma.
Ron: So the last one why do you keep going cross eyed and vacant?
Ron: You honestly sometimes you have the expression of Eddie from The Lion King.
Laura: Because the lab rats are talking in the discord and I just wanted to know what they were saying.
Laura: It's not fair that I have to sit here and do this lesson while they're all having a nice chat.
Laura: Actually, they're flagging you off saying you haven't done any Twitter for ages.
Laura: And they are right?
Ron: Yeah, I deleted the app.
Laura: Well, Ron, how are we?
Laura: You said you would put up an episode thread every time.
Ron: Weeks ago.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: You're supposed to do it every week.
Ron: I don't.
Laura: Well, why do you promise these things, then?
Ron: If they have a discord to complain in, then they can post their thoughts there.
Laura: It's actually not called Twitter anymore.
Laura: Is it's called X now, is it?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Changed?
Ron: Don't know.
Ron: Haven't been on it.
Laura: Why don't you put it on the Facebook or the Instagram instead?
Ron: I don't have either of those things either.
Laura: Well, you need to get them.
Laura: You run a podcast.
Ron: But I don't want to.
Ron: They're bad for you.
Laura: We'll only use them for the podcast, then.
Ron: But I still end up scrolling.
Laura: You won't.
Ron: All right, back in tomorrow morning, 09:00 A.m..
Ron: Okay, Laura, so we're missing just the first law of motion now, so it's.
Laura: Probably one of the bigger ones if it's the first one, isn't it?
Ron: They're all the same.
Laura: He didn't put them in an order of how useful they were or anything?
Laura: Or is this just the order he came up with them in?
Ron: No, I don't believe they're in any order.
Ron: They're just things that describe the universe.
Laura: Right, we've done acceleration, we've done stopping and going.
Laura: We should do is the first one gravity?
Ron: No, gravity is a force.
Ron: It's not a law.
Laura: Yeah, but it's a theory, isn't it?
Ron: No, it's a force.
Ron: You don't know it and that's okay.
Laura: So there's kind of to know it.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: This will make sense to you.
Ron: If the resultant force acting on an object is zero, if the object is stationary, it will remain stationary.
Laura: Imagine if our MPs now were still this smart coming up with scientific stuff.
Ron: If the object is moving, it will continue to move at the same speed in the same.
Laura: Oh, well done, Isaac.
Laura: Now get out canvassing.
Laura: You're about to lose your seat.
Laura: So very well sitting in here, nerd boy, but it's not sexy.
Laura: We need you topless on a horse.
Ron: You're now throwing Lady Godiva into the mix.
Laura: No, I was thinking more that Russian guy.
Laura: What's his name?
Laura: Putin.
Ron: That Russian guy.
Laura: I couldn't think of his name.
Ron: Yeah, Vlad.
Ron: Vlad the lad.
Ron: Vladimir Putin.
Laura: Haven't heard him on the news lately.
Ron: Yeah, no, you didn't hear.
Ron: He was the BBC presenter.
Laura: What was that first one again?
Laura: Wrong.
Laura: Because if I'm honest, I wasn't listening.
Ron: No, you weren't.
Ron: You were thinking about Vladimir Putin.
Ron: If the resultant force acting on an object is zero, if the object is stationary, it will remain stationary.
Ron: If the object is moving, the object will continue to move with the same velocity.
Laura: Well, that's f****** obvious.
Ron: No, it's not.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: If you leave a thing alone, it'll carry on doing what it's doing.
Laura: You can't get praised for saying that.
Ron: Well, you can because Isaac Newton was born hundreds and hundreds of years ago.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: And if you throw a to write down obvious things.
Laura: Laura's first rule.
Laura: If you leave a hot thing hot, it stays hot as long as it's hot.
Ron: Well, no, because hot things cool down if you leave them.
Laura: Not if you've left more hot underneath the hot to keep it hot.
Laura: That's my second law.
Laura: Third law you're always allowed your guns.
Ron: These are fundamental laws of the universe.
Ron: Of course they seem obvious to you because they happen everywhere, all the time.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And all he had to do was write that down and now he's famous.
Ron: Yeah, because by describing it like that, you then provide the basis for other work to come off of.
Laura: God, being the first one is so much I wish I'd been the first comedian.
Ron: But he wasn't the first scientist.
Ron: He was thousands and thousands of years after the first, no one had thought.
Laura: To say, if you just let stuff crack on, it cracks on.
Ron: No, because seemingly when you perceive the world, stuff doesn't do that.
Ron: If you're just rolling a ball across a table, eventually it will stop.
Laura: That's because of friction.
Ron: Yeah, but do you think f****** Greek lads moseying around next to the Aegean Sea when the first philosophers were about do you think they knew d*** about friction?
Laura: Well, they knew how friction felt on their dicks, that's for sure.
Ron: Barrack and that was a good joke.
Laura: All right.
Laura: I didn't write any of those laws down.
Laura: That's the problem.
Laura: Bollocks.
Laura: We did them in the wrong order.
Laura: Right, so let's have a little summary section then.
Laura: So first law, leave a ball alone and then eat for a day.
Laura: That 1.
Laura: Second law was stop and go.
Ron: F equals Ma.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: So that was acceleration has to do with your mass, has your mass directly.
Ron: Proportional to the force that you apply indirectly proportionate to the mass of the object.
Laura: And the third one is the react.
Ron: Every forces action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And is that it?
Laura: Has he just had three laws?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Is that enough for you?
Laura: Yeah, that's pretty good.
Laura: I expect he was writing crime novels as well.
Ron: No, he invented thrillers that were in Gatwick, airport calculus, gravity, loads of s***.
Laura: Yeah, all right.
Laura: I'm not mad at him.
Ron: Top lad.
Laura: That's fine.
Laura: Was he nice to his wife?
Laura: Did he have a wife?
Ron: Why would I know about a woman?
Laura: Ah.
Ron: How long have we been recording?
Laura: 23 minutes.
Ron: That's not long enough.
Ron: I thought this would take longer, going through the laws.
Ron: You want to go through them again?
Laura: No, I got them.
Ron: All right.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Well, 6.5.4 .3 now, Laura.
Laura: Look at us whizzing through the physics.
Laura: F****** Dara came along.
Laura: Yeah, we're like a hot hog and butter.
Ron: 6.5.4 .3.
Ron: Forces and braking not something that you're very good at.
Laura: Braking?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I've only had one car crash.
Laura: You were there.
Laura: I was there.
Ron: Anyway.
Ron: 6.5.4 .3.1 stopping distance.
Laura: You got to make it longer when it's raining.
Ron: What affects the stopping distance of a car, Laura?
Laura: Friction.
Ron: Between what and what on what?
Laura: The wheels and the road.
Ron: Yep.
Laura: And the effectiveness of the brakes, which is also friction.
Ron: Yep.
Ron: So the brake pads and the brake disc.
Ron: What else?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: The speed the car was travelling at.
Ron: Yep.
Laura: The weight of the car.
Ron: Absolutely.
Laura: The reaction time of the human driving it.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That might be the best thing you've ever done.
Laura: This is actual practical stuff.
Ron: 6.5.4 .3.2 reaction time.
Ron: Can you want to hazard a guess at a typical person's reaction time, Laura?
Laura: Zero 8 seconds.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: From zero two to zero nine.
Laura: Hello, Laura.
Laura: Why look at me?
Laura: Crushing it all of a sudden.
Laura: Sun has come out and she's a science queen all of a sudden.
Ron: Can you imagine if every episode was like this?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Amazing.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: If we were learning actual things every episode.
Laura: Love it.
Ron: What can affect a driver's reaction time?
Laura: Whether they're distracted or not.
Ron: Yep.
Laura: Alcohol or yep.
Laura: Tiredness.
Laura: Well timed yawn, Ron.
Ron: I was giving you a clue, but then it turned into an actual yawn.
Ron: Students should be able to explain methods used to measure a human reaction time and recall typical results.
Ron: You've already recalled a typical result.
Ron: How would you measure a reaction time if you had to?
Laura: I'd give someone a buzer and say, press this button when you hear the.
Ron: Buzzer and then time the difference.
Ron: Yeah, that's pretty good.
Laura: Or a light goes on and you have to hit the button when you see the light go on.
Laura: That kind of thing, you know.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Perfect.
Ron: 6.5.4 .3.3.
Laura: Doing so many segments.
Ron: Factors affecting braking distance.
Ron: One this is clever that they're sneaking.
Laura: In some driving theory here, because they know these kids, they're going to be learning to drive in a couple of years.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: But they also know that there's a bunch of shitheads like you and the class going, why do we have to learn this, Miss I don't care unless it's about cars.
Laura: Yeah, that's me.
Laura: That's classic Laura.
Ron: Laura Clarkson over there.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Ron: The braking distance of a vehicle, Laura, can be affected by adverse road and weather conditions and poor condition of the.
Laura: Vehicle in the continent, they have different speed limits for different weathers.
Ron: It truly is a utopia over there.
Ron: Can you name two things that might cause adverse road conditions, Laura?
Laura: Water.
Ron: Yep.
Ron: Says wet here, but assume wet with water.
Ron: Ice and ice.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Do you know what ice is?
Laura: It's frozen water.
Laura: Really padding this episode, aren't you, Ron?
Ron: Well, you say that you didn't expect.
Laura: Me to be so smart and know all this stuff.
Laura: You thought I'd be like, boo protocol.
Ron: After the Isaac Newton stuff, we've kind of just been going on the syllabus.
Laura: Aren't we always just on the syllabus?
Ron: No, I make notes and I plan lessons.
Laura: It doesn't feel like that.
Ron: Yeah, I know.
Ron: Because I'm a natural.
Ron: I make it feel natural.
Ron: What are you going to have for your tea?
Laura: Had it at lunch, actually.
Laura: Had gaddo gaddo.
Ron: What on earth?
Ron: Gaddo.
Ron: Gaddo.
Laura: Why did you just stop yourself swearing?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: Now I'm using the syllabus more.
Ron: I swear around child of the podcast all the time.
Laura: Yeah, that's true.
Laura: Gaddo Gaddo is potatoes, bean sprouts and green beans with a sort of peanut ginger and coconut sauce.
Laura: It's an Indonesian salad.
Laura: Tom made it.
Laura: It was very delicious.
Ron: Oh, it looks good.
Ron: I like the egg.
Laura: We didn't have egg in ours, but it was from a vegan recipe book, so that makes sense.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: All of the ones I'm looking at have egg in.
Laura: Hmm, I could go for some egg in it.
Ron: This one's got prawn crackers.
Laura: Yum.
Laura: Oh, it's raining, Ron.
Laura: Is it raining where you are?
Laura: No, it's raining where I am.
Ron: Oh, that's nice.
Ron: Nice rain.
Ron: Big, fat, plumpy rain.
Laura: Ploppy rain.
Laura: It's been quite ploppy rain all day today.
Laura: Yeah, except for when I walked the dog and then it was very hot.
Laura: It was too hot.
Ron: I went on a walk to get a lamp today.
Ron: Let me see my lamp.
Laura: Yes, wait there.
Laura: Oh, it's lovely.
Laura: Ron's bringing a lamp to the camera.
Laura: It's a black tripod with then like a hessian double circular lampshade, like a wicker inner, like the back of a wicker chair you might find on a porch in the deep south of the USA.
Laura: And then a sort of wicker hessian basket outer ring, all edged in black.
Laura: It's very nice, Ron.
Ron: Thank you.
Ron: Facebook, marketplace.
Laura: He's crafty.
Laura: Has it got a soft light?
Laura: What sort of light quality is it putting out?
Ron: Well, I had to buy my own.
Laura: Bulb, which well, yeah, they're only selling you the lamp, mate.
Laura: They're not selling you the bulb.
Ron: Yeah, 25 quid, though.
Ron: I thought that would come with a bulb.
Laura: Yeah, that should have come with a bulb.
Ron: Yeah, but let me plug it in.
Ron: I'll show you.
Ron: Quite a nice quite a nice soft light.
Laura: Oh, it's a lovely soft orange glow.
Laura: Yeah, smash that next to your amp and your guitar.
Laura: It's looking so cosy.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So for now, that's going to be bed lamp until I get another lamp, and then it will just be a general room lamp.
Laura: I love you getting mood lighting, Ron.
Laura: You're not going to be a big light boy and that's important.
Ron: Yeah, well, I would just want my room to be nice.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Nobody likes the big light.
Ron: No, big light's fine if you're working or doing a thing.
Ron: But I'm not always doing things.
Laura: I pretty much never like the big light on.
Laura: And most of the big lights in my house, I've turned into interesting lights that are not very practical.
Ron: Yeah, good for smashing babies against us.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: That was the worst.
Laura: I was trying to cheer up child of the podcast because she was really sad.
Laura: So I whooshed her into the air and straight into the light fitting.
Laura: And then she was sadder than she was before and I felt horrible on the inside.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then the next day she fell over and gunted herself in the forehead ten times worse.
Ron: But because Laura didn't do it, she didn't put up that much of a fuss.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: It was the little play she put on afterwards where she pointed at the light and said, Mummy.
Laura: Uh oh.
Laura: And then jumped onto the floor.
Laura: It was just like that scene in Friends with Monka Bang and it was unbelievable.
Ron: Yeah, it was f****** brilliant.
Ron: That was great.
Laura: She knows how to tug my heartstrings.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: She's going to manipulate you into doing horrible things, like a Stephen King novel.
Laura: Or I'll team up with her and we'll both just prey on Tom.
Ron: Yeah, I imagine.
Ron: I think it's going to go ways.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: The house is a battleground now.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You're not going to ask what I'm going to have for my tea?
Laura: Oh, what are you going to have for your tea, Ron?
Ron: Jollof.
Laura: Jolof?
Laura: Rice.
Laura: That's a rice thing?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: All right.
Ron: One of the girls on my team is from Ghana and she sent me a picture of some rice that she made and looked d*** good.
Ron: And I was like, what's that?
Ron: And then she was like, Jollof.
Ron: And then I was like, oh, cool, I might make that.
Ron: That looks really nice.
Ron: I like rice.
Ron: And then she was like, make sure you make garnet and drop off.
Ron: Nigerians don't know how to make it gosh.
Ron: They have big rivalry.
Laura: Did she send you her recipe so you can make it authentically how she likes it?
Ron: She looked through a couple of recipes and found me a good one.
Laura: Yeah, okay.
Laura: No, she just is just rice.
Ron: Yeah, it is just rice cooked in tasty stuff.
Laura: Well, I look forward to hearing about how it went in the quiz.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: How long have you been recording?
Laura: 33 minutes.
Ron: All right, few more minutes.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: No, if we've done the lesson, we can stop it's fine.
Ron: I usually aim for 35.
Ron: How long do you aim for?
Laura: I don't.
Laura: I just assume we stop when we've learned.
Ron: Well, we've done some brilliant learning.
Ron: Actually, we haven't done very much learning because you've just known it all like a little stargirl.
Laura: I'm a little star girl.
Laura: Well, I'm going to call it here before I do something thick.
Laura: There we go.
Laura: What a great lesson.
Laura: Tune in after the Sting for more Jollof updates.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Throw me some questions about Sir Isaac Livingstone Newton.
Ron: First question.
Ron: When was Isaac Newton born?
Laura: No, that's not an actual legit question.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because that's not science related.
Ron: Isaac Newton is science related.
Laura: Yeah, but the date of his birth isn't.
Ron: I'm just quizzing you on.
Ron: I don't.
Ron: Always ask you questions from the syllabus.
Ron: I ask you questions about what we covered in the episode.
Laura: Yeah, but I don't um isaac Newton, what did he discover again?
Laura: Gravity.
Ron: That's one of the many things that he contributed.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Laws of dynamics.
Laura: Wasn't thermodynamics yeah, he was after archimedes several thousand years.
Laura: 1861.
Laura: No.
Ron: Jesus.
Ron: No.
Laura: 14.
Ron: 1647 on Christmas Day difference.
Laura: 1647.
Laura: Bloody h***.
Laura: What else was happening in 1647?
Laura: Let's have a look.
Ron: Your other podcast.
Ron: And that one folded.
Laura: Don't do that one anymore.
Laura: 1647.
Laura: What else happened this year?
Laura: The Westminster Assembly begins debating the biblical proof texts to support the new confession of faith.
Laura: Right.
Laura: It's the civil war, I think, Ron, because the island of Lundy lundy island that's been surrendered to the parliamentarians.
Laura: There's an earthquake in Chile.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: Yes, there's an earthquake in Chile.
Ron: Sorry to our Chilean listeners, but I don't care.
Laura: There's a rebellion in Naples against Spanish rule.
Laura: What do you think about that?
Ron: Mum's just messaged me as well.
Laura: Oh, why she found a phone all of a sudden?
Ron: She's on holiday.
Ron: Bored, I think.
Laura: There's the Battle of Noknanus.
Laura: An Irish Confederate force is destroyed by the army of Parliament.
Laura: Alastair McCullough is killed.
Ron: God, I don't care.
Ron: Right, this is a science.
Laura: The word geezer is first used in Iceland.
Laura: Well, that is everything that was going on the year what was his name?
Laura: Was born.
Laura: Isaac Newton.
Laura: I was just adding some flavour text.
Ron: I'm will duggan.
Ron: Wine, wine.
Ron: Wine.
Ron: Shut up, Laura.
Ron: B****.
Laura: That was good.
Ron: That was my Will duggan impression.
Laura: I liked it.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: For people that haven't heard national Treasures, they've got no idea what's going on right now, but, hey, it's just there for us.
Ron: Second and final question.
Laura: Laura OOH, short quiz.
Ron: No.
Ron: What are Newton's three laws of motion?
Ron: And what do they mean, three laws of motion?
Laura: We didn't do those.
Ron: Yes, we did.
Laura: No, we did thermodynamics oh, you're right.
Ron: No, they're the same.
Laura: Are they?
Laura: Okay, first one okay, first one is if something is going and you don't stop it, it will carry on.
Ron: And.
Laura: What do you mean, what's the.
Ron: Other half of that?
Ron: What's the other half of that?
Laura: I don't understand your question.
Laura: The other half of what?
Ron: The law of motion?
Laura: Yeah, I just said yes and I'm.
Ron: Asking you for more.
Laura: Yeah, but you can't just say the other half.
Laura: That doesn't make any sense.
Ron: Yes, I can, you've given me half of it.
Ron: Can I have the other half, please?
Laura: Well, no.
Laura: Yeah, if something is like if a ball is rolling along, unless it meets force equal to the no, don't overcomplicate.
Ron: And get wrong what you've already gotten right.
Laura: Put that to one side.
Ron: What's the other bit?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: You've talked about something that's in motion.
Ron: What's the other state something could be in?
Laura: Stopped.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Oh, okay.
Laura: So if you apply force more than the stopping force of a thing, it'll go?
Laura: You have to overcome the friction to get a thing to move.
Ron: Don't overcomplicate it.
Laura: I didn't.
Laura: Oh, f*** you, Ron.
Laura: Saying overcome the friction is not overcomplicating.
Ron: Anything for you, my sweet summer child.
Laura: Yes, it is, you smooth brain koala wizard with clemini.
Laura: A rabbit tree with a sticker made of gel pens.
Laura: Hate you.
Laura: Well, I don't know then.
Ron: I don't know if something is in motion.
Ron: It will stay in motion unless a force is acted upon it.
Ron: If something is stationary, it will stay stationary until a force is acted upon it.
Laura: That is basically what I said.
Ron: Yeah, but you overcomplicated overcomes the friction.
Ron: Not everything's got friction on it.
Laura: Well, it's some form of friction, isn't it?
Ron: No, always.
Laura: Everything is kind of friction.
Ron: Something on a rope in a vacuum wouldn't have friction.
Laura: That would be a tension.
Laura: It's the friction of the rope.
Ron: No, it's not.
Laura: Yeah, it is.
Ron: You're not smart.
Laura: All right, next one.
Ron: Number one.
Ron: I'm going to give you three quarters of a mark for that one.
Laura: Good.
Laura: And I earned all of them.
Laura: I'll just consider the bit I didn't get attacks for being too right because I'm in the higher bracket.
Laura: Second one.
Ron: You're not smart.
Laura: Acceleration is equivalent to your mass.
Ron: Change the word equivalent.
Laura: It's like based on change the word.
Ron: Based on it's like that improv game change.
Laura: It's in correlation to your mass.
Ron: Change.
Laura: No, you know what I mean.
Ron: There's a word for it.
Ron: You need to use that word because this is science.
Laura: What does the word begin with?
Laura: P.
Laura: Proportional.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: And inversely proportional to your.
Laura: Tricho.
Ron: No.
Ron: So proportional.
Ron: So you've got one half of the equation, ma.
Ron: But that has to equal something, doesn't it?
Ron: F.
Ron: So it's inversely proportional to f.
Ron: What is f?
Laura: Resultant force.
Ron: Apologies.
Ron: It's actually the other way around.
Ron: It's inversely proportionate to the mass and it's proportionate to the force.
Laura: Ten points.
Ron: No, you get zero points because you're the one that started that what you said.
Ron: It was proportionate to the mass and it's not.
Laura: Christ.
Ron: And what's about the third one?
Laura: The third one stop and go to and fro.
Laura: That's what makes the world go round.
Laura: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Ron: So, for example, if I put a small porcelain dog on a table, the.
Laura: Table will s*** it to death.
Ron: Weird.
Ron: You've talked about kissing cats on the bums and now table dog intercourse.
Laura: Yeah, I had a cake for lunch.
Ron: You've got a sick, twisted mind.
Laura: You've got a sick, twisted p****.
Ron: Okay, that's the end of the quiz.
Laura: Tell me.
Laura: I got all the points for the last one.
Laura: I remember that so well.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: A point for that one.
Laura: One point.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So you got I said it word.
Laura: For word, like he carved it and.
Ron: I was out of one.
Ron: I think it should be more it's not.
Laura: Go on, give me a CSD.
Laura: Three gold coin.
Ron: No.
Ron: I'm going to take quarter of a point away from one of the other ones.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Just because.
Ron: You're being gobby.
Laura: You're gobby.
Laura: Gobby.
Ron: So, zero marks for when Isaac Newton was born, half a mark for the first law of motion, zero for the second and one.
Ron: So one and a half marks out of four.
Laura: Fine.
Laura: Gosh.
Laura: All right.
Laura: I'm not even going to be sad.
Laura: Not today.
Laura: Goodbye, Ron.
Laura: We made a mistake in the quiz.
Laura: We never chatted.
Laura: joloff.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I never made the jollof.
Laura: What?
Laura: You never made the jollof?
Ron: No, Aldi did not have jollof materials.
Laura: Oh, bogger, bollocks and boggers.
Laura: Boggart, boggar.
Laura: Oh, no.
Laura: What did you have instead?
Laura: Just plain rice.
Laura: No, what did you have?
Laura: Had you already picked up the rice?
Ron: No, I'm not.
Ron: Just weeks ago.
Laura: Have you made jollof since?
Ron: No.
Ron: Aldi doesn't have material.
Laura: Go to a different shop, then.
Ron: No.
Laura: Brand loyalty if they don't really close.
Laura: Make jollofs now.
Laura: Today.
Ron: No.
Ron: I've got a tika masala.
Laura: And you've got to eat all of that garlic.
Ron: I've already eaten all of that.
Laura: All of it.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: You're going to stink your b*** out.
Laura: Don't.
Laura: It's like your childhood again.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: You were obsessed with garlic.
Ron: I love it.
Ron: I can eat it like an apple.
Laura: Wet one is disgusting.
Laura: My mom was a little boy, that's all he ate was that big, fat, pink garlic sausage.
Laura: We'd go on holiday and we'd all get the nice, dry French ones and you'd just eat this fat PLAP.
Ron: It's so good when you fry it.
Laura: Ron made us all breakfast this morning, but he declared all the vegetarian options.
Laura: The shop had rubbish, so I just had six potato waffles.
Ron: What would you have wanted?
Laura: I don't know, mate.
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: What was there?
Laura: Egg.
Ron: You don't like eggs?
Laura: I love eggs.
Ron: You don't complaining about eggs.
Laura: I complain about having to eat six very dry boiled eggs in a row.
Laura: Anyway, come to the London Podcast Festival in September.
Laura: We need you.
Laura: We're going to ask for a ticket update this week.
Laura: So there's never been a better time for you to buy tickets, even if you don't intend to come buy a ticket.
Laura: Eh?
Ron: It's crashing and burning.
Laura: We don't even know that it is.
Laura: We both feel very dismal about it.
Laura: It might be fine.
Ron: Such a big room.
Laura: It's a huge room.
Laura: It was ambitious.
Laura: It's on the 16 September, which is a month away.
Ron: Bloody h***.
Laura: But we planned what we were going to do this morning.
Ron: Yes, we did.
Ron: Should we tell the listener?
Ron: Because then people might buy tickets if they know what the f****** show is.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Okay, so it's going to be in three segments, like an ant callback.
Ron: There'll be a quiz, possibly in the style of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Laura: But with eggs.
Ron: With eggs.
Ron: Who egg millionaire.
Laura: Who Wants to Be a million Egg?
Ron: Who egg.
Ron: A millionaire.
Laura: To be millionaire.
Ron: Two egg millionaire.
Ron: Then I'm going to talk passionately about genetics and DNA.
Laura: Yeah, I'm going to be there.
Ron: And then there will be we're thinking about maybe doing one of those ancestry things so that we can talk about where me and Laura come from.
Ron: And then third section, we're going to.
Laura: Try and get a guest, aren't?
Ron: Yeah, maybe not.
Ron: It's a lot of effort.
Ron: I might do a song.
Laura: Oh, and I'll do a dance.
Laura: Yes, to the song.
Ron: And maybe some audience interaction and an experiment.
Ron: Or to fill a glove with vinegar or something.
Laura: Why?
Laura: What?
Ron: Just an experiment?
Laura: Like OJ.
Laura: Simpson?
Ron: Yeah, just an experiment.
Laura: No, I can't get the vinegar in the glove.
Laura: Madam.
Ron: Is that your madam?
Laura: The judge?
Laura: Or that curly haired lawyer?
Ron: David Schwimmer?
Laura: No, the woman.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I stopped watching it.
Laura: I found it depressing.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So come to the London Podcast Festival and hey, join the patreon.
Laura: We just worked out that we each get paid, what was it?
Laura: Twelve pounds an episode?
Laura: No, some money.
Laura: Anyway, from you guys.
Laura: And it's really grateful.
Laura: It's really good.
Ron: It's really grateful.
Laura: I'm really holding in a fart and it's really taking up so much of my concentration.
Laura: But we're going to thank some patrons.
Laura: Now, first of all, Zana is in charge of distinguishing between what is real science and what is obvious s***.
Laura: They then file it in a small golden rod folder, they go to rods at the back of a big office and no one ever looks at it.
Ron: Did you know that all of the Burps, Tummy Rumbles and Olive Chews are not actually done live on location, but are edited in after the fact to add gritty, Guy Richley esque realism that we all love and crave in the podcast, Lucy Gould is the Foley artist that we work with.
Ron: So every time you hear a wet smack of the mouth, soppy lips you're enjoying thank you, Lucy.
Ron: Told you.
Ron: It's one of my weirder ones.
Laura: And finally, thank you, Luke Humphrey.
Laura: Luke Humphrey is Ichabod Scrubin.
Laura: Thank you, Luke.
Laura: We couldn't do the podcast without Ichabod.
Laura: That's all we've got for you this week.
Laura: Next week, it's back to physics.
Laura: Well, listen, stay tuned for an episode.
Ron: In a few weeks that we're about to record that's apparently going to be giddy.
Ron: And a quiz that will also be giddy.
Laura: No, we don't need to do a quiz.
Laura: We did a quiz.
Ron: We need to do a quiz, don't we?
Ron: No, I've just written a quiz.
Laura: What for?
Ron: Nice one, Lucy.
Laura: It.
Ron: Class dismissed.
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