Algae Pants

 Laura: Hello and welcome to Lexx Education.

Laura: The comedy science podcast where comedian Laura Lex tries to learn science from her nerdy, younger, normal brother, Ron.

Laura: We weren't horrible about him in any way.

Laura: Just because he liked to tweet.

Laura: He's not going to actually listen to our podcast.

Laura: No, Rick Edwards, if you listen, let us know.

Ron: I just thought it was bold because I think we said it was like he was on autopilot a la the film Click.

Laura: Well, anyway, it got canceled two years ago, so it's not really our problem, is it?

Ron: It got canceled two years ago.

Laura: Yeah, all those ones we've been watching at Mum and Dad's, they're just reruns.

Ron: Bloody h***.

Ron: The lovely sauce discourse has been out there forever.

Laura: Yeah, we're probably not even the first podcast to cover the lovely sauce episode.

Laura: All those watch along impossible podcasts, they're like, dude, that is old news.

Laura: So how are you, Ron?

Ron: Worst day of my life.

Ron: So you see that there's a muddy patch up there.

Laura: Oh, there is a muddy patch on your ceiling.

Laura: Fresh plaster by the looks of it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So yesterday, luckily, I was already planning to wework from a friend's house just for fun, but I'm like, I'm getting ready to leave.

Ron: And then just two builders walk into my room, and I was like, oh, hello.

Ron: And then they were like, we were coming.

Ron: They're nice guys.

Ron: I've met them before, but, yeah, nobody told me they were coming.

Ron: I work in here.

Ron: That should have been relayed to me because there's like a leak in the ceiling, or there was.

Ron: Hopefully they've fixed it now.

Ron: But then I just got back, and then everything in my room just had a thin film of dust over it.

Ron: So I had to deep clean everything in my room.

Ron: I had to take my rug out into the garden and shake it.

Laura: Oh, like Zazu wanted to do.

Laura: Tiscar?

Ron: Sure.

Ron: I don't get your references anymore.

Laura: You've watched Lion King.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.

Laura: And just think, every time he got dirty, you could take him out and beat him.

Laura: Satsu.

Laura: No, not interested.

Ron: I get it.

Ron: I just feel like we're.

Ron: It's just not what jumped to my mind.

Speaker C: It's not a quote.

Laura: Like a Rick Edwards from impossible saying a lovely sauce kind of a quote.

Ron: I see what you're.

Ron: No.

Laura: All right, fair, fair.

Laura: Well, I'm in a very bad mood, Ron, because I was just halfway through making some delicious brownies, and what I thought I'd do is make half with walnuts and half with no nuts, because some people are crazy.

Laura: And don't like brownies with nuts in.

Laura: And then I was changing over and I put the next lot of batter into the pan and then forgot that that pan had already been in the oven with the first batch.

Laura: Picked it up to put it in the oven, burnt all my fingers and dropped just the whole brownie batter mix.

Speaker C: All over the floor.

Ron: Oh, my goodness.

Ron: But you've got the first batch, though.

Laura: Yeah, but they've got walnuts in.

Laura: And I feel like you can't turn up with just walnut ones to your own party.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Yes, you can.

Ron: And also just tell anyone, if anyone's like walnuts, then you just say, f*** off.

Ron: Eat your own brownies, you child mouthed p****.

Ron: Yeah, that's what I'd say.

Speaker C: Sad.

Laura: I've really wanted to be successful at putting on this party.

Ron: Well, I was very sympathetic when you first told me this, but you're still providing freshly baked brownies.

Laura: Yeah, that's true.

Laura: That's true.

Ron: Honestly, I think you just need to make anyone that complains about the walnuts feel like an idiot.

Laura: But they might mention it in the car on the way home.

Ron: Yeah, but you need to insert a culture where people are policing each other on that sort of thing.

Ron: So if Mary says to Jane in the car on the way home, oh, walnuts in the brownies, you want Jane to be like.

Ron: And so.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What are you talking about?

Laura: How many brownies did you bring to the party, Mary?

Laura: Yeah, zero brownies.

Laura: And shut your brownie pole, you brownieless punk, because I'm making two other cakes.

Ron: Oh, for f***'s sake, Laura.

Ron: Why are we even talking about this?

Ron: Jesus.

Ron: But you didn't mention that for ages.

Ron: No, I just wanted to be cool.

Laura: And a domestic goddess.

Ron: Yeah, you're fine.

Ron: You're fine.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I can't take you seriously with this.

Laura: Aviators and a mustache.

Laura: You've got some sort of filter on a top gun one, I assume.

Ron: Yeah, just a bit of fun.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: All right, well, listen, you could put one on yours.

Laura: Yeah, I probably could.

Ron: What episode is this?

Ron: I haven't listened.

Laura: This is episode 90, Ron.

Laura: It's an interesting episode, which we won't spoil now.

Ron: All right, tell me after.

Ron: Tell me after.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So, intro wise, just need to say, get your ttel submissions in.

Laura: We've had a lot of submissions this week.

Laura: It's been very fun.

Ron: Looking good.

Laura: We are closing the submissions this Friday.

Laura: So after Friday, that's it, we're done, Zo.

Laura: Unless I haven't finished laying them out, in which case I'll just add them on because why wouldn't I?

Laura: But get them in by Friday.

Laura: My tour dates are on sale.

Laura: Don't forget that.

Laura: And there's new dates gone up now.

Laura: West Midlands is now on sale, so those of you that want a Birmingham, we've added Birmingham.

Laura: You better f****** buy the tickets now and then.

Laura: Other dates are also being added next week.

Laura: Anything to add up top, Ron?

Ron: No, just be kind to each other.

Laura: I will just say, content warning.

Laura: We do discuss a little bit of climate change stuff in this episode.

Ron: Oh, it's that episode.

Laura: It's that episode.

Laura: Okay, well, we'll see you when you know what we know.

Speaker C: Yeah, but the problem with you eating granola now is that I can't edit out your eating noises because we're on one track.

Ron: No, this can be silent.

Speaker C: Ron is trying my homemade granola.

Speaker C: He's mad because there's yogurt in it.

Speaker C: But I've specifically said, do you want granola with yogurt?

Speaker C: And he said yes.

Speaker C: And now he's claiming he didn't hear.

Ron: It's delicious.

Speaker C: Do you like it?

Speaker C: Oh, that's good.

Speaker C: Because, you know when you make something that's exactly for your taste, and then you're like, I wonder if other people would find this disgusting.

Speaker C: But it's exactly what I want.

Ron: Yeah, I wouldn't have put the yogurt on it.

Speaker C: But you just eat it dry.

Ron: I wouldn't eat it.

Speaker C: I just stand there.

Ron: I like it.

Speaker C: It's delicious.

Speaker C: But I would have it without the yogurt.

Speaker C: But if there was no yogurt, I would not eat this.

Ron: I could eat granola if I wanted to eat granola, but I don't eat granola in the same way.

Ron: They're like, butter is delicious, but I don't just eat butter.

Speaker C: Yeah, but you don't just eat butter for hopefully more reasons than you don't eat granola because you die if you just ate loads of butter.

Speaker C: So you don't like it, but for granola, it's not bad.

Ron: No, I really like it.

Ron: When would I eat this?

Ron: In my date breakfast.

Ron: What is this?

Ron: It's a breakfast.

Speaker C: You have it as a snack.

Speaker C: You can have it whenever you like.

Ron: Yeah, I guess I don't have wet breakfast.

Speaker C: It's not as wet if you put yogurt on breakfast.

Speaker C: It's less wet than a milky breakfast.

Speaker C: That's why I like yogurt on it.

Ron: Wetter than toast, though.

Ron: That's still wet breakfast.

Ron: I'm eating it with a spoon.

Speaker C: I say it's medium.

Speaker C: Depends how much butter you put on your toast?

Ron: I don't have toast for breakfast.

Speaker C: What do you have for breakfast?

Speaker C: You don't have breakfast?

Ron: No, I actually just have a milkshake, which is quite wet.

Speaker C: But that's really wet.

Speaker C: I'd say that's wetter than that.

Speaker C: That's wetter than granola with yogurt.

Ron: That's a drink.

Ron: Yum, yum.

Ron: That was nice.

Speaker C: It's delicious, isn't it?

Speaker C: Yeah, granola, now it's delicious and I love it.

Speaker C: But without the yogurt and without the yogurt, I would not eat it.

Ron: But I wouldn't eat it with the.

Speaker C: Yogurt then I'm not sure you like it, Ron.

Ron: No, I do like that.

Ron: I like almond croissants, but I don't eat them.

Speaker C: Why?

Speaker C: Why don't you eat the things you like?

Ron: They're not around.

Speaker C: Get them.

Ron: I only eat them.

Ron: They're not things that I eat.

Ron: They're not in my repertoire.

Speaker C: Yeah, but you just have to put them in your repertoire.

Speaker C: I didn't make and eat my own granola until I went to Norway and had it for breakfast and thought, this is delicious.

Speaker C: Why don't I do this more often?

Ron: Who am I, Napoleon?

Ron: I can't just eat almond croissants all the time.

Speaker C: Napoleon was eating almond croissants?

Ron: Yes, he was.

Ron: You think he was eating plain croissants?

Ron: That's f****** mental.

Speaker C: I think he was at sea.

Speaker C: He was eating ship's biscuit.

Ron: He wasn't eating ship's biscuit.

Speaker C: You know the Duke of Wellington?

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: Do you know by Wellington it just means, like, literally Wellington down the road.

Speaker C: That Wellington.

Speaker C: That's where he was the Duke of.

Ron: I always assume that was named after.

Speaker C: No, no, that was the place he got given to say thanks for all those battles.

Speaker C: He wasn't the Duke of Wellington before.

Speaker C: He won all the cool stuff then he did that.

Ron: But he wasn't, like, from there.

Speaker C: No, that was just a bit that they had going.

Speaker C: They were like, here, have Wellington.

Ron: What a slap in the face, right?

Speaker C: I always assumed that there was somewhere else called Wellington.

Speaker C: And then the other day it came up in a book and I was like, I'm going to Google.

Speaker C: Where's that Wellington?

Ron: That.

Speaker C: He's the.

Ron: Where's that Wellington, boy?

Speaker C: It's just that one down the road.

Ron: What's the deal with the boots?

Speaker C: Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker C: I didn't google that bit.

Speaker C: And then.

Speaker C: Do you think Wellington, New Zealand, is named after that Wellington?

Ron: I imagine so.

Speaker C: You'd think it would be more of a tourist place, wouldn't you?

Ron: I imagine a tourist went once, turned around.

Speaker C: Let me have a look at Wellington boots.

Speaker C: Why are Wellington boots called Wellington boots?

Speaker C: Oh.

Speaker C: Originally worn by officers in the british army, Wellington boots have been around since the 1790.

Speaker C: However, it was Arthur Wellesley, more commonly known as Duke of Wellington, who popularized the shoe in 1817.

Ron: So it's like a f****** pun.

Ron: His name was Arthur Wellesley and then they were like, oh.

Speaker C: That was partly why they liked Wellington, was because it was similar to the family name.

Ron: It gave him a town.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Wow.

Speaker C: Maybe it was prettier back then.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: That is where we first discovered snoop Dogg.

Laura: Callie Red.

Ron: I love Callie red.

Ron: But have you seen Cali red in the shops recently?

Speaker C: No.

Ron: They've worked out how good it is.

Ron: It's like 20 pounds a bottle now.

Laura: Really?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: They really jacked up the price.

Speaker C: Oh, my God.

Speaker C: They heroined us into.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: They offered it to us dirt cheap and then made it spend.

Speaker C: I told you, in the poor car.

Ron: Dusty man.

Speaker C: That's why you need more yogurt.

Speaker C: Glues it together.

Speaker C: It's nice, though.

Ron: Tonight I wouldn't eat, but tonight.

Speaker C: Do you want some of my homemade bread?

Ron: No yogurt on it, please.

Speaker C: We're going to have pudding tapas when mum gets back.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: It's chemistry today, Ron.

Ron: Same room episode?

Speaker C: Same room.

Speaker C: Haven't seen each other in a while.

Speaker C: Didn't do an intro outro today.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Went straight into the quiz.

Speaker C: Live show this weekend.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Need to do all of the prep.

Speaker C: I was being a clanger.

Speaker C: Episode 90.

Ron: Bloody h***.

Speaker C: You don't like it when I celebrate all the milestones, but 90 is a big number.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: It's not a milestone.

Speaker C: No, but we're only ten weeks off.

Speaker C: Then the hundredth.

Speaker C: Can we do hundred or are we just doing two years?

Ron: What did we do last year?

Speaker C: We didara for first year.

Ron: Then I say we do two years.

Speaker C: You want to have consistency.

Ron: Yeah, I'm very consistent.

Speaker C: You're not consistent at all.

Ron: When am I not consistent?

Speaker C: With your volume, with your eating, with your behavior, with your segments.

Ron: But, I don't know, with the effort.

Speaker C: You put into the prep for the episode, with your opinion on the podcast science.

Ron: I don't know why I get so much flak for the segments.

Ron: I feel like I'm just bringing lots of fun ideas.

Speaker C: So it's like I'm juggling lots of plates and you just occasionally throw a new plate into the mix and expect me to continue juggling it content wise.

Speaker C: What plates.

Ron: Are you juggling me?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: Learning all the f****** stuff.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Showing up, larking about, having a faff and then leaving again.

Speaker C: Do you know what I was going to say then?

Speaker C: You tried doing this podcast without me, where it's just you reading the science dryly into a microphone, but you actually think, judging by podcasts, that very successful, that would be hugely popular.

Ron: That's what I'm doing.

Ron: That's the secret project.

Speaker C: No, I'm not even kidding.

Speaker C: No, I know.

Ron: It is, isn't it?

Speaker C: I was like, I listened to the fall of civilizations podcast, and that is literally just a very monotone, man, reading out about ancient history.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: God d*** it.

Speaker C: I am the thing holding us back.

Speaker C: Hey, if you listen to this because you like me doesn't mean you don't like Ron.

Speaker C: But can you tell me right now?

Speaker C: Okay, love you, bye.

Speaker C: It's chemistry, Rom.

Speaker C: Yeah, we've had a weird time of it lately because of some deleting that one of us did.

Speaker C: Can't remember.

Ron: And then Valentine's Day.

Ron: Well done juggling those f****** plates, me.

Speaker C: There's a lot of broken.

Speaker C: It's been the greek portion of the podcast, but we've had lots of new patrons lately, so clearly it's going down well, matey boy.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: People are like, hey, if we join the patron, maybe Laura stopped deleting half the content.

Ron: Yeah, I'm not really sure where we got to last.

Speaker C: Let me check the notes of glory.

Speaker C: So that'll be 86.

Speaker C: Would have been the last one.

Speaker C: Identification of common gases.

Speaker C: Which we did twice.

Ron: Yes, we did that twice.

Ron: But then we did the atmosphere.

Ron: Yeah, cool.

Speaker C: Must be some chemistry in the atmosphere.

Speaker C: I said, burke, it's cold in here.

Speaker C: Must be some Taurus in the atmosphere.

Ron: What are you doing?

Ron: What's that?

Speaker C: That's when.

Speaker C: Bring it on.

Ron: What's that?

Speaker C: It's a really fun film about cheerleaders.

Ron: I've not seen it.

Ron: Is it a musical?

Speaker C: No, don't look at me like that.

Ron: It's not you singing a song from it.

Speaker C: Because they're cheerleaders, you f****** dweed.

Ron: It's a musical.

Speaker C: No, it's not.

Speaker C: They just do cheerleader chants sometimes.

Ron: What they just say on the pitch.

Ron: What, they just go out there and they just say the chant or do they sing it?

Speaker C: Well, it's not a musical.

Speaker C: That's like saying every film that's ever had a song playing in it in is a musical.

Ron: Only if the people in it are singing the song.

Speaker C: No, not if they're singing a song.

Speaker C: And that's just part of what's happening in the realism of the film.

Ron: Kind of a musical.

Speaker C: No, it's not Ron die.

Speaker C: It's got that really hot woman in it that's now like a really cool.

Speaker C: What's the word?

Speaker C: Like a person that does good stuff for the world.

Speaker C: She's like a.

Speaker C: What's the word when you're, like, nice?

Speaker C: Actively.

Speaker C: What's her name?

Speaker C: Gabriella union.

Speaker C: She's in it.

Speaker C: She's really hot.

Speaker C: And she's, like, hardly aged a day.

Speaker C: She's, like 45 now.

Speaker C: And she is still slamming light looking 22.

Speaker C: And she's also a really cool, like, activist.

Speaker C: That's the word.

Speaker C: She's an activist.

Ron: Oh, I recognize her.

Ron: What is she in?

Speaker C: And I think it's got Kirsten Dunst in it is Kirsten Dunst.

Speaker C: And bring it on.

Ron: Was she in friends?

Speaker C: Yes, she was.

Speaker C: She dated Ross in the later series.

Speaker C: She was the other paleontologist.

Speaker C: No, she dated Joey.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: No, she's not Charlie, the other paleontologist.

Speaker C: Is she not?

Ron: No, that's the woman that went on to be the host of.

Ron: Whose line is it anyway?

Speaker C: Gabrielle Union.

Speaker C: Oh, no, she's not.

Speaker C: You're absolutely right.

Speaker C: She's not in friends.

Ron: She is in friends.

Ron: She's the one that Ross and Joey helped move into her house.

Speaker C: Oh, early doors.

Speaker C: She's in.

Speaker C: Ten things I hate about you.

Ron: Great film.

Speaker C: She's in.

Speaker C: She's all that.

Speaker C: She had a really strong ninety s.

Speaker C: And then her husband.

Ron: Not only is she not edge today, she looks way better now.

Speaker C: Who's her husband?

Speaker C: Is Dwayne Wade, who is a basketball player.

Speaker C: She's brilliant.

Ron: He's handsome.

Ron: Man.

Speaker C: Activism union is an advocate for survivors of assault.

Ron: Which one?

Speaker C: Nacl?

Speaker C: Three.

Speaker C: Is that one?

Ron: No.

Ron: Why did you say the three?

Ron: You ruined it.

Speaker C: D*** it.

Ron: And.

Speaker C: I remember her in a documentary.

Speaker C: I think it was.

Speaker C: Was it after?

Speaker C: I don't want to get his name wrong.

Speaker C: Hang on, what was his name?

Ron: Sean Penn.

Speaker C: No, Trayvon Martin when he was killed.

Speaker C: And then the basketball team all, like, wore.

Speaker C: It was like at the beginning of a bit of a surgeons of the Black Lives Matter movement and the basketball team all had that photo shot done for instagram with the hoods up.

Speaker C: I think because Trayvon Martin was killed because he had his hood up.

Speaker C: And I think her husband was like a key player in that because there's a couple of really cool activists.

Speaker C: But I could be talking out my b*******, but I hope I'm not.

Speaker C: I can't remember what documentary I saw that in, but anyway, the atmosphere.

Ron: Whoa.

Ron: If you hover over the I'm feeling lucky button, like, rolls a wheel and then says something different.

Ron: So now it's saying, I'm feeling stellar.

Ron: If I click on that, showing me pictures of the reflection nebula.

Speaker C: Should we do the poker?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: All right.

Ron: So, yeah, last time we went through the earth's early atmosphere.

Ron: Okay.

Speaker C: Okay.

Ron: So what we're going to do is we're going to talk a bit about how the atmosphere has changed since then.

Speaker C: Oh, is this going to scare me and depress me?

Ron: No.

Ron: Okay, we will come on to carbon dioxide as a methane and methane as a greenhouse gas.

Speaker C: Okay.

Speaker C: Try not to get any quieter than that.

Speaker C: Wrong, because I can barely see you talking.

Speaker C: Well, okay, changes in the atmosphere.

Speaker C: We're going through changes in the atmosphere.

Speaker C: My writing looks.

Speaker C: I can't edit out the coughs and splutters in this one, so.

Speaker C: Sorry, listeners.

Speaker C: Suck it up your pipe hole.

Ron: It's because of the granola.

Ron: 5.9.1.

Speaker C: .35.9.1.3.

Speaker C: I wish you were here with me.

Ron: How oxygen increased.

Ron: Laura, how did oxygen increase in the atmos?

Speaker C: Well, as plant life took hold, they spat out more oxygen.

Speaker C: And so oxygen increased.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: How did they spit out oxygen?

Speaker C: By photosynthesizing.

Speaker C: Taking in carbon dioxide and spitting out oxygen.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: What's the formula for photosynthesis?

Speaker C: Co2.

Ron: Yep.

Speaker C: Equals o.

Speaker C: Two.

Ron: Missing bits.

Speaker C: I know.

Speaker C: I'm trying to work out what they are.

Speaker C: I'm just putting in the bits that I know about.

Speaker C: Co2 plus h 20.

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker C: Equals o two.

Speaker C: And then I need h and c to go somewhere.

Ron: What else does it make it?

Speaker C: Well, I've got a c and an h floating about that I have to.

Ron: Deal with, so it might not be balanced right away.

Speaker C: No, I know that, but I've got to put in the bits before I can balance it, haven't I?

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: So co2 plus h 20 equals o two plus either ch or just c plus h.

Speaker C: Are they separate or are they making one?

Ron: One thing that you're missing something.

Speaker C: C and h in it.

Speaker C: Carbohydrates.

Speaker C: Sugar.

Ron: Yes.

Speaker C: Laura, your brain's on fire tonight.

Speaker C: Makes glucose.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: Which is c.

Speaker C: Six h.

Speaker C: Twelve Christmas holiday oranges.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: I can't believe you got that, Laura.

Ron: I mean this really sincerely, that's the most impressed I've ever been with you.

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker C: Okay.

Speaker C: But now it's not balanced because I've got three oxygens there and eight there, so.

Speaker C: God, I hate balancing these.

Speaker C: So that needs to be at least six to make that twelve.

Speaker C: And that wants to be at least six to make that six.

Speaker C: But now I've got 618, so that needs to be nine.

Speaker C: So c, six e.

Speaker C: Two plus six h.

Speaker C: 20 equals nine.

Speaker C: Two plus c, six, six h.

Speaker C: Twelve.

Ron: No, you've got 18 oxygens on the left and 24 on the right.

Speaker C: Yeah, I have.

Speaker C: So, six two.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Well done.

Ron: Well bloody done.

Speaker C: I'm really happy with that, to be honest.

Ron: There's two different things.

Speaker C: Carbohydrates, carbon, hydrogen.

Speaker C: I'm going to stop calling them carbs, then.

Speaker C: That's just carbon.

Speaker C: No calories in carbon, mate.

Speaker C: It must all be in the hydrogen.

Ron: Loads of calories in carbon.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Why?

Speaker C: Just breathing out.

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker C: Because we do get rid of energy in respiration.

Speaker C: Oh, my God.

Ron: Carbon is calories, but also fats are hydrocarbons.

Ron: Loads of energy in that.

Speaker C: But hydrogen is nothing and it's everything.

Ron: What do you mean, hydrogen is nothing?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: Okay.

Ron: All connected, man.

Speaker C: In the great circle of life, baby.

Ron: Ra, what do you think was the first thing to start making all this oxygen?

Ron: Lovely.

Ron: Oxygen.

Speaker C: Algae.

Ron: Twas algae.

Ron: Yes.

Speaker C: I'm so clever.

Ron: When do you think algae first produced oxygen?

Speaker C: Way before single celled or life forms.

Ron: Algae is a single cell.

Speaker C: Okay.

Speaker C: The mesozoic era.

Ron: Throw out a number of years ago.

Speaker C: Oh, 10 billion.

Ron: You're in the right order.

Ron: 2.7 billion.

Speaker C: All right, then.

Speaker C: 2.7 billion years ago, before shoes were invented, some algae sneezed and life began.

Ron: What's that?

Speaker C: It's a bit.

Ron: It sounded like a reference.

Speaker C: Well, I feel like it's a reference to in documentaries where a deep voice goes, 7 million years ago, volcanoes happened and the dinosaurs had to hide.

Ron: Why have you gone so swedish?

Speaker C: It's a swedish documentary I'm watching.

Ron: Shut up.

Ron: So for context, Lloyd, do you know how long ago the dinosaurs were?

Speaker C: 500 million years ago?

Ron: They died out about 70 million years ago.

Speaker C: Okay, but they were around for like 100 million years, weren't they?

Ron: Yeah, a long time.

Speaker C: Really.

Ron: Like 200 million years before that.

Speaker C: Yeah, but algae beat at them all and algae is still here.

Speaker C: F*** are you?

Speaker C: Dinosaurs, algae, sitting there in the sea, blooming away like.

Speaker C: Yeah, you might have been a giant plessiosaur, but guess who's here?

Speaker C: Gloopy little me.

Speaker C: My pt was telling me that she goes swimming.

Speaker C: And you can tell when the sea has hit a certain temperature in the spring because the algae bloom happens and she swims.

Speaker C: And then she says, you can tell because you get out and you take your swim costume off and all this green stuff falls out of it.

Ron: That's horrid.

Laura: Yeah.

Speaker C: I don't understand why anybody would ever swim in the sea, but, yeah, I'd.

Ron: Be like, sea's too hot, can't go in algae pants.

Speaker C: Yeah, but if it's any colder than that, it's really cold.

Ron: Yeah, I'd swim in a pool, I reckon.

Speaker C: I don't even really like swimming in a pool, to be honest.

Ron: No, I like fresh water.

Ron: Maybe a river.

Speaker C: No, I don't like that either.

Speaker C: I like to swim on holiday where it's okay that I'm fat because I'm british and it's warm and I don't care.

Speaker C: I do not like to swim anywhere in the UK and I have to swim every week now I have a child and I hate it.

Speaker C: The ends of my hair get wet and flick out.

Ron: Why do you have to swim?

Speaker C: Because she's got to learn to swim and it's good for her.

Ron: Can't you just pay someone to teach.

Speaker C: Her how to swim?

Speaker C: We don't make any money from this podcast.

Ron: No sign up to the patreon or.

Speaker C: Drown a child, or tell House of games to finally have me on as a guest.

Speaker C: It's getting embarrassing now.

Ron: Yeah, it's embarrassing how much mum and dad ask you about it.

Ron: Why haven't you been on it?

Speaker C: Is, isn't it?

Speaker C: Yeah, I don't know why I haven't been on.

Speaker C: Everybody else I know has been on it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: They don't see, like, tech companies and they're like, why don't you run their customer success department?

Speaker C: I remember after I did live at the Apollo, walking through London with Mum and she just straight out said, I really thought after doing live at the Apollo, your career would take off.

Speaker C: That was a bleak day.

Speaker C: Yeah, we all did, Mum.

Speaker C: We all did.

Ron: But we're here now.

Ron: It will be all right.

Speaker C: Here I am holding back, not just my career, but Ron's too.

Speaker C: He could be a successful Dan Carlin of science, except for me.

Ron: No, I'm trying to record my special project at the moment, but I find it very hard to just talk.

Speaker C: Do you want me to just sit there quietly and.

Ron: No, no, you'd be a menace.

Speaker C: Do you want husband of the podcast to do?

Speaker C: Why don't you get younger sister of the podcast?

Speaker C: She's really into being involved.

Speaker C: That's what we should do when she gets here tomorrow is do our crime episode.

Ron: Yeah, let's do that.

Ron: Let's do it in the car.

Speaker C: I don't think we can hold one of these microphones in the car.

Ron: Why hang it from the ceiling of the car, man.

Speaker C: I think it'll pick up a lot of vibrations and sadness, I think.

Ron: Not if we hang it from the ceiling.

Speaker C: No, because I think the top of the car vibrates, too.

Ron: Not if it was, like, on a string.

Speaker C: You won't set this up for one, two.

Speaker C: No, three.

Speaker C: Why don't we just do it when we get back here?

Ron: I don't know.

Speaker C: Or do it after the funeral on Wednesday.

Speaker C: Be like, sorry we can't stay for the week.

Ron: Do it at the funeral.

Speaker C: Should we live stream the funeral?

Speaker C: It's what Nana would have wanted, I think.

Ron: Ticket it.

Speaker C: She'd never heard of podcasts, let alone Lex education, but I think she'd have wanted us to live stream it.

Ron: Yeah, she wouldn't know what a live stream was.

Speaker C: We'll go live on Instagram.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: Should we just go safina with, like, sunglasses on?

Speaker C: Like, we're big TikTok stars.

Speaker C: We've got 68 followers.

Ron: I probably will have sunglasses on.

Ron: If it's sunny.

Speaker C: You're going to look like my bodyguard.

Ron: Won't you be wearing sunglasses?

Speaker C: No, I didn't bring my sunglasses.

Speaker C: It's February.

Ron: Yeah, but it could be sunny in February.

Ron: Yeah, I don't wear sunglasses because my eyes get hot.

Speaker C: I don't know where my sunglasses are.

Speaker C: They're a really old prescription.

Speaker C: But I can't afford new prescription sunglasses, so I've just lost them.

Ron: I bought some ravens.

Speaker C: I can't do that because I need my prescription and I have to get proper ones, and then it's expensive, man.

Speaker C: I was all steamed up to do it this year, and then I had my eye test, and I didn't need to change these glasses prescription.

Speaker C: So I thought, can't justify just buying new sunglasses.

Speaker C: So I didn't.

Speaker C: Algae?

Ron: Yeah, so algae.

Ron: 2.7 billion years of algae.

Ron: You see algae and you think it's a bit of s***, right, when you see it?

Ron: No, not.

Speaker C: It's really nutrient rich.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Is it the supernaturalists where they eat algae?

Ron: Algae tanks.

Ron: Algae tanks.

Speaker C: Algae tanks, algae tanks.

Ron: No, it's mortal engines.

Ron: Ignore says.

Ron: Over the next billion years, plants evolved and the percentage of oxygen increased to a level that lets animals evolve.

Speaker C: Question.

Ron: Hello.

Speaker C: You say lets animals evolve, but lets animals as we know them evolve.

Speaker C: Had that not happened and animals still wanted to evolve, they could have just breathed something different.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I'm not going to say that it's impossible, but you have to presume that there's a reason why they did it with oxygen.

Speaker C: Okay?

Speaker C: Because even fish, it's oxygen they're getting out the water isn't.

Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker C: Is there anything on earth that doesn't breathe oxygen?

Ron: No, oxygen's always there in the respiring.

Speaker C: Okay.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: Good to know.

Speaker C: Thank you, Ron.

Ron: That's okay.

Ron: And I think what it's also saying there is because the concentration of oxygen in the air directly affects how big things can get and whatnot.

Speaker C: Okay.

Ron: And especially simple life, like more oxygen, more big animals.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And especially simple creatures, because things like bugs don't have complex circulatory systems like we do, so they rely a lot more on diffusion.

Speaker C: There was a lot of chat in the discord about bugs after we last chatted about them, how they fly and stuff.

Speaker C: Turns out some of our patrons are really into bugs.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: That tracks.

Ron: That scans.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Well, back in day, there have been periods where there's been a lot more oxygen in the atmosphere than there is now.

Ron: And bugs got wild big back then.

Speaker C: Really?

Ron: We're talking, like, spiders the size of cats.

Ron: We're talking, like, millipedes.

Ron: As long as double decker buses.

Ron: I don't know why I said double decker.

Ron: As long as buses.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: The height.

Speaker C: Wow, that's big.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Because.

Ron: Yeah, the oxygen just could get in more.

Speaker C: The other day I was thinking about how cool it would have been 200 years ago, how many more birds there.

Ron: Were, how many more everything.

Speaker C: The sky would have just been full of birds all the time.

Speaker C: It's always empty.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: There'd have been loads of bugs and birds and animals.

Ron: You'd go for a walk in the forest and you'd see loads of s***.

Ron: You'd go to the sea and there'd be dolphins and whales and stuff.

Ron: We really f***** it up.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: Okay.

Ron: But I remember there being more bugs when I was a kid.

Speaker C: No, I think we just played in bugs more.

Ron: No, I genuinely believe that when you were a kid, if you left your window open, loads of bugs would get in.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: That still happens, Ron.

Ron: Doesn't happen to me anymore.

Speaker C: You live in the middle of a city.

Ron: Is that it?

Speaker C: As somebody that lives in the countryside, having moved to the countryside four years ago now, my house is a fly festival in the summer.

Ron: Yeah, that's only because you're covered in cartoon stink lights.

Speaker C: You lived with us through the summer.

Speaker C: There were bugs everywhere.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I've got a really funny video of husband of the podcast, strolling around, clapping two chopping boards together, trying to get them.

Ron: He looks like such a f****** door.

Speaker C: It's because you have lived in Brussels and Bristol and you've just lived city centrally with not much grass around you.

Ron: I own a shirt, an orange corduroy shirt that attracts flies.

Ron: They get stuck in the ridges.

Speaker C: Well, just.

Speaker C: You are your own fly, baby.

Ron: Really weird.

Speaker C: Just wear that to reassure yourself about the world.

Ron: 5.9.1.

Ron: .4 how carbon.

Ron: I can't study anymore how carbon dioxide decreased.

Ron: Where did it go, Laura?

Ron: Where did it go?

Speaker C: It got stored up in peat bogs and oil and.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And it also gets put into rocks.

Speaker C: Whoa.

Speaker C: Oh, like diamonds.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Formation of sedimentary rocks.

Ron: Algae and plants, obviously.

Ron: Nosh on it.

Speaker C: Nosh on it?

Speaker C: Yeah, plants eat it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And there's lots of it dissolved in the ocean.

Ron: It's one of the things that's really going to f*** us because as the earth gets hotter, the oceans warm up and gases dissolve better in cold water.

Ron: So as they get hot, the oceans release carbon dioxide into the air, and it's kind of a positive feedback loop, leading to the heat death of ecosystems.

Ron: Carbon dioxide and methane as greenhouse gases.

Ron: Laura, what's a greenhouse gas?

Speaker C: It's a gas that sort of collects in the top of our atmosphere, creating a layer that lets heat in but does not let heat back out.

Ron: Yeah, effectively.

Ron: So essentially what happens is it lets light in, then the sunlight heats the earth.

Ron: Then the earth irradiates heat energy back out, and it traps the heat but not the light, if that makes sense.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Can you name any common ones?

Speaker C: Co2.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: I said two in the.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: Methane.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: What's that one that was in fridges?

Ron: CFC.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: I think that was more about burning holes in the ozone layer.

Speaker C: Oh, and we've actually fixed that hole in the ozone.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Ozone's back, baby.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: You're welcome, New Zealand.

Speaker C: I want to say freon, but that's the celery thing.

Speaker C: Helium.

Ron: No.

Speaker C: Carbon monoxide.

Ron: It probably is, but there's not really enough of it in the atmosphere for that to be a thing.

Ron: If there was loads of carbon monoxide in the atmosphere, we'd all be a lot drowsier than we are today.

Speaker C: Methane, carbon dioxide.

Speaker C: I don't know, Ron.

Speaker C: What else do cars pump out?

Ron: It's water vapour.

Speaker C: Oh.

Ron: That'S all of the ones inside.

Speaker C: Oh.

Ron: All right.

Ron: Now, Laura, knowing what you know about light and how that you.

Ron: So it says here students should be able to describe the greenhouse effect in terms of interaction of short and long wavelength radiation with matter.

Ron: So knowing what you know about light.

Speaker C: I don't want to talk about greenhouse gases and the heat death of the planet.

Ron: We have to.

Speaker C: I don't want to.

Ron: We have to.

Speaker C: I don't want to.

Ron: People must know.

Speaker C: People do know.

Ron: Yes.

Speaker C: We're either powerless to do anything or we don't care because we want short term riches.

Ron: Yes, but when all of the Labour MPs listening to the podcast hear this.

Speaker C: Or change their mind, why would Labour MPs be listening?

Speaker C: We've been very actively pro trans rights.

Ron: Yeah, Labor MPs can go f*** themselves.

Ron: To be fair, vote Green.

Speaker C: What's the question?

Speaker C: I just feel sad now.

Ron: So know it.

Ron: What?

Ron: Long and short wavelength radiation interact with greenhouse gases.

Ron: How do you think that works?

Ron: The short wavelengths gets in and the long wavelengths get absorbed and reflected back.

Ron: Okay, do you just want to skip this?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Okay.

Speaker C: I just can't be funny about the thing that scares me right down to my bowels.

Ron: Okay, scrolling.

Speaker C: Well, I mean, I can be, and I was in trying, but I feel like that was all I had.

Speaker C: It's just sad and pathetic.

Ron: Scrolling.

Speaker C: It's good that they're teaching kids about it, though, I guess, because in, like, 45 years when they have the f***, we finished chemistry.

Speaker C: What?

Speaker C: You can't end on global warming.

Ron: We finished chemistry.

Speaker C: What, so they just do the syllabus like, and here's how you die, kids.

Speaker C: That's it?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Well, f***, I guess next episode you do an exam.

Speaker C: None of us saw this coming.

Ron: No.

Speaker C: I'm not ready to do an exam.

Speaker C: I think we need to recap the whole of chemistry.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: We could have a couple of revision episodes.

Ron: Sure.

Speaker C: 50 revision episode.

Speaker C: Do you think we should do the exam as a live show?

Speaker C: Maybe that's what cheerful airfall should be.

Ron: Well, no, because you'll forget it all by then.

Ron: That's months away.

Speaker C: I've forgotten it all now.

Speaker C: It's been months away ago.

Ron: Months away ago.

Speaker C: Months away ago.

Ron: No, let's not do that.

Ron: That's you doing an exam on the stage.

Ron: Yeah, I think we could live stream it.

Speaker C: You just riff.

Ron: I just play the guitar.

Ron: Just banalamp.

Ron: Bam, bam, bam bam.

Speaker C: I can't believe they just do students so dirty like that.

Speaker C: Here's the things your grandparents and parents did.

Speaker C: You're going to die.

Speaker C: Or at least the last ten years.

Laura: Of your life is going to be.

Speaker C: A hard scrabble for existence.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Okay, here's why.

Ron: You're going to be fighting in the water wars later.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: All right, then.

Speaker C: I'll see you for the quiz.

Ron: It's a short episode.

Speaker C: 35 minutes.

Speaker C: It is a short episode.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Well, we're done.

Speaker C: Bloody h***, Harry.

Speaker C: Our mum's home.

Speaker C: We can have pudding, tapas now.

Ron: Lovely.

Ron: Lucky us.

Speaker C: We should offset the carbon of this podcast.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: All right, then.

Speaker C: Join the Patreon so we can afford to offset the carbon.

Ron: Do you not remember what we did in the last chemistry episode?

Laura: I don't, Ron.

Laura: But whatever it was, we do have to be nicer to each other today.

Laura: Have you seen any of the discord chat today?

Ron: No.

Laura: Feedback for the episode that dropped yesterday includes.

Laura: I do wish they'd be nicer to each other.

Laura: I felt uncomfortable listening to it, which I was worried it was the last episode of the podcast.

Ron: Yeah, which episode was it?

Laura: The magnets redo.

Laura: Apparently I made a noise that woke up a cat.

Ron: I haven't listened to that one.

Ron: Maybe I'll have to listen to it.

Laura: Stop peeling your tattoo.

Ron: I'm not.

Ron: I was just cleaning bits of flunk off of it.

Laura: Yeah, mine's super.

Laura: I said yesterday, mine's not that peely.

Laura: It's peely today.

Ron: Yeah, mine looks like lots of little butterflies flying off my arm.

Laura: I had to wear leggings today for my workout, and I think that sort of exfoliated it ever so slightly.

Laura: And then I had a shower and I was like, all of the ink's coming out, but then it's still there as well.

Ron: I think because of where mine is.

Ron: When I roll my sleeves up, it does a job on it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So, yeah, we can be nicer to each other.

Ron: I don't know why we'd have been cross to each other.

Laura: Because you kept bringing up the horseshoe magnets.

Laura: That is what happened.

Laura: Oh, yeah, we kind of half finished chemistry.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Well, you didn't want to do the rest of chemistry.

Laura: Okay, I've been thinking about it, and we should, because shying away from the issue is not helping.

Laura: Oh, he's gone.

Laura: He's walking away.

Laura: He's got a nice plant in the background.

Laura: He's got a book.

Ron: Hello, I'm back.

Laura: Hello.

Ron: I've started reading.

Ron: Ow.

Speaker C: F***.

Laura: He has hit himself with the book.

Laura: Right on the bridge of the nose, too.

Laura: And it's a hardback book.

Laura: Maybe in the eye.

Ron: Oh, the corner, right on the eyebrow.

Ron: I've started reading this book.

Ron: It's called not the End of the World by Hannah Ritchie.

Ron: And it's basically, it's designed for people like you, Laura, that it really gets them down about the environmental stuff.

Ron: And she says in it that basically she wrote it for herself ten years ago because she was in the exact same position.

Ron: And it's basically about kind of like, what is actually going right and what are the actual things that we could do to fix it, rather than a lot of sort of doom and gloom attitude around the environment.

Ron: It's interesting.

Laura: I'll borrow it when you finished it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And dispelling a lot of myths and stuff because when we were at the zoo the other day and that guy was talking about palm oil.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: She talks about that in this and about how it actually is a really, if you do it sustainably, it's an amazing crop to have because it's so dense in the energy that you can get out of it and the oil and stuff.

Ron: But obviously you have to just do it sustainably.

Ron: So it's not that we don't know how to do these things, we just have to.

Laura: Yeah, but that's the bit, though, isn't it?

Laura: That's the bit that always brings me back to depression, is that we have to do it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: But lots of, not everything is going wrong.

Ron: And also she talks a lot about how the targets and stuff around these things.

Ron: Like the whole one point.

Ron: Like it's, it's a lot about rejigging the way that you think about it because like the 1.5 global warming target and stuff.

Ron: Like, there's a lot, like, you read a lot of news articles and things about how it's basically all f***** if we reach past that.

Ron: But it's not, that's just the target that we're aiming for.

Ron: And then if you view it as like a precipice, then a lot of people kind of go, oh, well, f*** it, we're going to hit that anyway.

Ron: Why should I care?

Ron: Whereas there's actually.

Ron: No, that's a target that we need to exceed.

Ron: But if we go over it, we still need to try really hard.

Ron: I'm kind of like, yeah.

Ron: Rejigging that around it.

Ron: It's interesting.

Laura: Okay, I'm interested.

Laura: Well, maybe we can incorporate some of this book into the next bit then about carbon and the atmosphere.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Okay, so we haven't finished chemistry.

Laura: We will finish the syllabus.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: We're going to finish it.

Ron: Right.

Ron: Okay, well, so we can't really do that today because I haven't prepped any of that because I didn't know that's what we were going to be doing.

Laura: Oh, do you remember when I balanced that equation, though?

Laura: Pretty well?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: A small mistake.

Ron: It was basically the only thing that we did in the bulk of this episode is that equation.

Laura: No.

Laura: Ask me what increased oxygen in the atmosphere.

Ron: Photosynthesis, which is that equation.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: What was the first thing to appear algae.

Laura: Well done, Laura.

Laura: Ding.

Ron: Quiz done.

Ron: So, yeah, I was basically just going to ask you that equation, but you've already got it written down, so that's fine.

Ron: What we need to do, Laura, and what I thought we could spend this time doing is working out what we're doing with the podcast.

Laura: No, we were supposed to talk about that between recordings, but we didn't.

Laura: No.

Laura: Well, we had a very busy week, Ron.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: So we can just do it now.

Laura: Because actually that's fun for people to listen to.

Ron: We will finish physics today.

Laura: Oh, no.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Wow.

Laura: Hey, why don't we pick one of the sciences and do it for a level?

Ron: Why not all three?

Laura: Because physics is tedious and s***.

Ron: But I feel like that's kind of part of it.

Laura: No, but if you were doing your a levels, you wouldn't do all three sciences.

Laura: That would be mad.

Ron: I did all three sciences and maths.

Laura: What about.

Laura: What about.

Laura: We don't.

Speaker C: No.

Laura: Okay, we can do all three, but I feel like, though, I am not ready to sit an exam at all.

Speaker C: No, this is shape or form.

Ron: So I looked through the syllabus in preparation for this, and we do still have a good couple of weeks left of biology.

Ron: Like maybe even four or five.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Maybe less than that, because a lot of what we're going through now is stuff that we've covered in the live shows, so that we will probably speed through fairly quickly.

Ron: But, yeah, there's at least like a few months worth of content of biology left.

Ron: So do we want to do recaps?

Ron: Do we want to do some pop quiz style stuff?

Ron: How are we doing this exam?

Ron: I thought maybe some recappy kind of things, but then also maybe getting you to do some assignments on stuff to really learn it.

Laura: I don't want to do any work outside of the podcast, Ron.

Laura: It's already quite a heavy workload.

Laura: I don't also want to write an essay, but perhaps you could give me a subject and I will run the lesson and tell you all about it.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Yeah, we could do some reverse teaching things.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: A subject that's like recapping the stuff we've already done.

Laura: Yeah, absolutely.

Laura: I'm not going to learn more stuff.

Laura: That would be insane.

Laura: So when you do a level, is it the same stuff but in more depth, or is it new stuff?

Laura: Is there more stuff you have to know?

Ron: Both.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: It's basically going to go, hey, you know all that stuff that you've barely managed to squash into your head for GCSE, you need to forget that because it's not typically accurate.

Laura: It's just how we have to teach it at that point.

Laura: And now you need to learn it a different way.

Ron: Meh, a bit.

Laura: Have you had a haircut?

Laura: And a shave.

Ron: Had a shave.

Laura: Very dapper.

Laura: On.

Laura: What are you doing tonight?

Ron: Going out?

Laura: Going clubbing?

Ron: No.

Laura: Going to a party?

Ron: No, I've got a date.

Speaker C: Ooh.

Laura: Who with?

Ron: We don't talk about this.

Ron: We don't have to.

Laura: I want to know.

Ron: Yeah, it's going to be a lot of the same stuff, but in more detail.

Ron: For sure.

Ron: For sure.

Ron: Cesar will be.

Ron: I was just looking at the chemistry stuff and.

Ron: Yeah, it's the shape of simple molecules and ions.

Ron: We're going to do bond polarity.

Ron: Bond polarity is lovely.

Ron: Forces between molecules.

Ron: Vanderballs.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: What are we going to do when we finish a level, though, Laura?

Laura: I'm going to get a degree.

Ron: Really?

Ron: We're going to do three degrees.

Laura: I think when we finish a level, we'll just have to stop doing the podcast.

Laura: I think we'll have to choose a new subject.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Or just give up.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: If we've got 500 patrons by the time we finish a level, we'll continue with a new subject.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: If we haven't, nobody will ever hear from us again.

Ron: So.

Ron: Okay, so, yeah, we'll do some recap episodes and I'll try and get you teaching some stuff.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And maybe we'll try and do some.

Laura: More visual bits and pieces if you like.

Ron: Yeah, but, yeah, that's chemistry.

Ron: Well, no, because we'll carry on with chemistry some more.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Okay, so we'll do that next week.

Ron: This is a bad episode, isn't it?

Laura: No.

Laura: Well, it probably is now that you've said that.

Laura: And then we've paused for a while while people try and remember it and go, yeah, it was actually.

Laura: Why don't you tell a fun story just before we go?

Laura: I'll tell you a fun story.

Laura: You know that moisturizer that I didn't want to buy that you bought?

Laura: Yeah, I left it in Leicester.

Ron: You must have left it in the kitchen at the black horse, I think.

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker C: Whoopsie.

Laura: I'm just using the one that smells like cocoa butter now.

Ron: That's probably fine.

Ron: It's not such an open wound now.

Laura: Yeah, Ron stabbed me last week.

Laura: No, not really.

Laura: We're talking about tattoo healing.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Well, should we end this episode then and do another one?

Ron: Probably should, yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: All right.

Laura: See you for the outro pizzazz into the intros.

Laura: Out.

Ron: Yeah, we're going to have to really jazz those up.

Laura: Okay, maybe some.

Ron: Sorry.

Laura: Okay, Ron, so as we said at the end of the episode, it needs a very lively and fun and good outro to stop it being a terrible episode.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: By wait there, we need 15 minutes of absolute banging.

Laura: He's not even listening.

Laura: He's taking his headphones off.

Laura: Banging gold, I was going to say, but now it's just a one person podcast, a monologue, if you will, instead of a dialogue duologue.

Ron: I'm back.

Ron: What did you say while I was gone?

Laura: I said we need 15 minutes of banging content to rescue this episode.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: So I think I've got a really good idea of what we're going to do for the rest.

Laura: You go, by the way, just over there.

Ron: What for?

Ron: I think I've got a really good idea.

Speaker C: Why did you go over there?

Ron: Shut up.

Ron: I think I've got a really good.

Ron: To get this book.

Ron: I think I've got a really good idea of what we can do for the rest of chemistry.

Ron: Because you wanted to cover the rest of the content, right?

Ron: But it makes you sad to the pits of your arms when we talk about these kind of things.

Ron: So I thought we could go through the content, but then I could also read this book, and then we could talk about all of it in this context, and it might be more interesting and less dry than just talking about GCSE climate change.

Laura: That could be really good.

Laura: So the book Ron's on about is the one he mentions in the episode.

Laura: It's not the end of the world by Hannah Ritchie.

Laura: And there's a note.

Laura: I'll put a link in the notes and we'll pop it in the discord, too, for anyone interested.

Laura: Because, Ron, last week when I was writing the episode notes, I was very bored.

Laura: And I find writing the episode notes very boring.

Laura: That go out published with the podcast, whatever they're called, like the record sleeve notes.

Laura: And so I just wrote in it.

Laura: Does anybody actually read these?

Laura: And loads of people got in touch and said, yeah, I'll read them.

Speaker C: Whoa, thanks, guys.

Laura: Never read that bit.

Laura: Judge it by the title.

Ron: I don't even really know which bit you're talking about.

Laura: You know when the podcast is on your podcast player and it just has a little description of what's in the episode.

Ron: No, hang on.

Laura: I'll show you on complete guide.

Laura: Oh, no, I've skipped a load of the episode I'm listening to.

Laura: Bloody h***, Harry.

Laura: Here we go.

Laura: Look, on complete guide.

Laura: It's like that.

Ron: Oh, theirs is very short.

Laura: Write those every week.

Laura: And I'm never very sure if it's for new listeners or whether it's just to get search terms in that our podcast might show up.

Laura: Look.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: If you know about SEO, get in touch.

Laura: I do know about.

Laura: Well, I used to know about SEO.

Laura: It's probably all changed now.

Laura: Nobody really knows about SEO, Ron.

Ron: That's not true.

Ron: It's quite a defined science.

Laura: No, it's not.

Laura: They change it constantly.

Ron: Yes, but they change it to things people know.

Laura: Kind of a little bit.

Laura: But everybody says Google's dead these days.

Ron: Somewhat.

Laura: A little bit.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I use ask jeeves.

Ron: No, you don't.

Ron: I use Google.

Ron: I never said stuff.

Laura: I just already know it.

Ron: I don't care, Ron.

Laura: My tattoo is so itchy.

Ron: Really now?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And the center of my lily just won't go back to normal.

Ron: Yeah, the center of mine's taken longer as well, but that's fine.

Laura: It's scabba dabba do.

Ron: Yours all scabby now.

Laura: Well, just the center of the lily.

Ron: Yeah, mine's getting there.

Ron: Almost healed then.

Ron: I did get another tattoo on Monday, so that one's now healing.

Laura: Did you?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: From the guy that you were messaging through our Instagram account?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Ledge.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So that's fun.

Laura: This isn't 15 minutes of banging content, Ron.

Ron: No.

Laura: What did you get up to at the weekend?

Ron: It's Friday.

Laura: Oh.

Laura: What are you doing this weekend?

Ron: So it's St.

Ron: David's day.

Ron: I think today I've been invited for some call.

Laura: Which one's David is that Wales.

Ron: Wales?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So I've having some call at a friend's house call.

Ron: So we were told it was a specific welsh stew that you eat on St.

Ron: David's day, but it comes to pass.

Ron: It's just been stew.

Ron: So we're having nondescript stew.

Laura: Which nondescript stew feels like a guy you meet at a festival.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: And then tomorrow I'm going suit shopping for sports.

Ron: Well, he's been overtaken as sports correspondent.

Ron: Really?

Ron: By agony dad.

Ron: So nondescript correspondent Max.

Laura: He needs to get himself on the podcast.

Laura: Where are you, Max?

Ron: Well, what do you want him to talk about?

Laura: His wedding.

Ron: Wedding correspondent Max?

Laura: Yeah, I would like him.

Laura: I'm going to set him a series of celebrity weddings that he needs to report to us on.

Ron: I'll message him now.

Laura: Oh, we can call it staff room with Max.

Laura: And he is the gossip Mac.

Laura: And he tells us all about celebrity gossip.

Ron: Now.

Ron: Actually, Max has pitched before.

Ron: The conversation has come up after a couple of pints at the pub.

Ron: If you had to start a podcast, what would it be?

Ron: And Max has said that his would be basically the opposite of that, kind of where people have to just explain to him what's going on in the current zeitgeist and he has to make heads or tails of it.

Laura: Why did you want to know about the royal family gossip, by the way?

Ron: Because I just wanted to.

Ron: Oh, we could just play those voice notes.

Laura: I was explaining to Ron all about the Kate Middleton saga at the moment because I am obsessed.

Laura: Ron thinks Charles is dead.

Ron: No, I don't think Charles is dead.

Ron: I think Kate's dead.

Laura: After I sent those voicemail notes yesterday, though Kensington palace did release a statement yesterday, Ron, but it was really curt and abrupt and just like we told you, we weren't going to update anything.

Laura: F*** off.

Laura: Well, cranks.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: She's dead, though, right?

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: Or she's divorcing him.

Laura: I'd be surprised if she was dead, but I think she might be leaving him.

Ron: But surely she'd have been seeing out on the streets or something if she was leaving him.

Ron: Like, they can't keep her under house arrest because she wants to get a divorce.

Laura: They can.

Laura: They're the literal royal family.

Laura: They'd do anything.

Ron: I hate them.

Ron: I hate them so much.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Not a big fan.

Laura: But I do love a popcorn from a distance.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: No, I don't think Charles is dead.

Ron: But then it's all a bit weird.

Laura: Yeah, it's very.

Laura: What's the word?

Laura: Unnormal irregular for the royal family to be behaving in this way.

Laura: It's all gone tip pot since Queen died on it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So I reckon she's dead.

Ron: And then they don't want to announce it because they don't know what to do because I think they know that if they have another big state funeral or anything, the nation's going to kick off.

Laura: They can't have another dead princess of Wales.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And that even an evil one, like even Diana's Wario can't die.

Ron: So I think they're keeping it under wraps.

Laura: Maybe I'm going to put it on the Patreon list.

Laura: Ron, you and I are going to do a royal family episode.

Ron: Shall I invite Max?

Laura: Yeah, all right.

Ron: I'll invite Max.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: All right.

Laura: Well, okay.

Laura: So don't worry.

Laura: We have kind of got to the end of chemistry, but we will be continuing it for a bit and we will be covering the rest of the syllabus, despite the terror that it contains.

Laura: And then I guess, well, it's exam and then it's a level, isn't it?

Laura: So, how exciting.

Laura: Don't forget to get your tea towel images in closing submissions this Friday, cluster Smurf.

Laura: Oh, very quick.