Frothy For Bean

 Frothy For Bean

Lex Education comedy science podcast comes out on end of term

Ron: Is that not good? I thought that was okay.

Laura: That's very good. Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education comedy science podcast. Comedian ask me, Laura. Alex. I was learning GCSE science. What's happening?

Ron: The window's flown open again.

Laura: Where am I, idiot? Underground. Currently fighting a window and some rain.

Ron: Uh, closing that fucker up now.

Laura: We just finished the GCSE science syllabus just last week. No more GCSE. So because my brain can't cope with going straight to exams, I need to finish the little cycle. And, um, because Ron doesn't want to do any more revision, we're having an end of term episode. We love end of term. Now, when I was at school and it was the end of term, they would wheel a television into the room on a little trolley and it would have a video recorder underneath it because I am 9000 years old. And then the, uh, teacher would have one or two videos in their cupboard and they would say, as a special treat, we're going to watch this video. And even though we'd watched it on the last day of term, every day for four years, we would happily sit down and watch Mister Bean. And I love Mister Bean to this day.

I would love to know how many times you actually watched Mister Bean

Uh, so we're gonna talk about Mister Bean.

Ron: I would absolutely love to know, well.

Laura: Actually, Rowan Atkinson in general as well.

Ron: Yeah, I would absolutely love to know how many times you actually watched Mister Bean.

Laura: 1 million.

Ron: No, no, no. Just because like, I bet it's one of those things where like, it happened twice, but then, you know, like the way that you form childhood memories where you're like, no, that was it. That it was being a thon every single time. Yeah.

Laura: How many last days of term are there in a year? Half times. You didn't tend to do that. But like, let's say Christmas time, Easter term, summer term. So three times a year. It's a lot.

Ron: Bean and you. But that. So three times a year for eleven years.

Laura: No, this is only school. I don't recall watching Bean at primary school.

Ron: Okay, okay, okay, okay. Because there are only 15 episodes of being.

Laura: Oh, yeah, Ron. No, no, these were the films, I think.

Ron: No, you'd watch the films.

Laura: No, it was the episodes.

Ron: It was only one.

Laura: We just watched the same ones. No, I distinctly remember the Mister bean going to LA because it had Boyzone did the soundtrack. I, ah, had a picture of you in my mind. Never knew it could be so wrong. And then he ruins Whistler's mother.

Ron: So, uh, Laura, this is your brainchild, the bean episode. So you're gonna have to drive.

Laura: Oh, I love Mister Bean. Where's the Mister Bean video where he eats the steak? Mister Bean? At a restaurant. I love it. It makes me piss. Okay, Ron, can I share my screen?

Ron: Sure.

Laura: Video unavailable. Why, Mister Bean? Why haven't you made this available in my. Mister Bean, can you hear this one?

Ron: Hey. No, I have to turn sound on.

Laura: So, he's in a french restaurant. The waiter tries to put a napkin in his lap and he jumps up. He doesn't understand French, though, Ron, so he doesn't know what he's ordering. And the waiter's taken it away very early. Influencer behaviour. From being here, videoing himself eating some bread. Oh, no. He's using the bread to pop it up. Look at him being an influencer. Uh, food's arrived. He's got longestines. This is from Mister Bean's holiday, by the way. Been at a french restaurant.

Ron: This. So you didn't watch this at school?

00:05:00

Laura: No.

Ron: Then why are we watching this?

Laura: Because I love this one.

Ron: He's not eating a steak.

Laura: Hmm. M maybe it's not.

Ron: I think this is a different one.

Laura: That's the one where Mister bean eats a steak. Mister bean.

Ron: Fuck me if we can't.

Laura: It's this one. Here you go, Ron.

Ron: Yeah, this is a completely different thing.

Laura: All right, Ron, he's just getting more bean for your buck. What's the problem?

Ron: Ah, that's, uh, funny, to be fair. Well, don't skip about if we're watching Bean, we're watching Bean.

Laura: I love Mister Bean. Absolutely, I do. I love physical comedy, though. Do you want to just come over and watch Bean

Laura: All right, Ron, but you're getting cross with me for many reasons.

Ron: I was laughing.

Laura: Here comes the food. Hey, that's trigger.

Ron: Trigger with a ponytail pack. Trigger.

Laura: Oh, he's ordered steak tartare, Ron.

Ron: Le American.

Laura: He doesn't like it, Ron. He's hiding the beef in the flower pot. Oh, not an advert. Uh, thank you. Ruining my bean time. He's opening a bread roll. I think he's gonna fill it with beef. Ron, Ron, you're not even watching it.

Ron: I am watching.

Laura: Why aren't you?

Ron: It's really small on my phone.

Laura: Ron, tell, uh, people what's happening.

Ron: He's hiding steak tartare in various places around the table, and sometimes he pulls a bit of a face. He spat some steak tartare.

Laura: Into the trousers of the violin player on.

Ron: Right. We have to not be doing this anymore. Turn this off now. Stop. Stop with the bean. This lawyer. If we. We can play silly buggers and watch Bean together, but I don't think it's episode.

Laura: Do you want to just come over and watch Bean sometime. Yes, okay.

Ron: Absolutely, I do.

Laura: Okay, sounds lovely.

Ron: Okay, Laura, so you're driving the episode still, though?

Laura: Um, well, I was driving and you just grabbed the wheel. So you're in the seat now, mate.

Ron: Because you were running it up onto the pavement of Bean.

Laura: I love Mister Bean. I love physical comedy, though. It just makes me laugh a lot. Uh, Mister Bean, famously played by Rowan Sebastian Atkinson. Hi, Ron.

Ron: Hi. Sorry, what, um, what did you want from me then?

Laura: I don't know, you could just say, that's a good name. That's a bad name. We'll just have some band about his name for a second.

Ron: Rosebat. Is that anything?

Laura: Rosebat. Rowan Sebastian Atkinson. He was born in 1955, Ron. On the 6 January. Obviously they didn't know that that was going to be insurrection day.

Ron: Yeah, that's close to my birthday. No, two months away.

Laura: Two months and 40 years after.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Not even direct. Shut up, Ron. Um, he was born in a town called concept, which was near Durham, which in 1841 only had a population of like 140 people. Ron. But then the industrial revolution came and coal was in the area and now it's about a 30,000 strong town.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Um, he was the youngest of four, Ron, just like you.

Ron: Oh, close birthdays and youngest of four, yeah.

Laura: Not close birthdays though, but yes, youngest of four. Guess what his dad did for a living? Ron.

Ron: I think his dad was a tool maker.

Laura: His dad

00:10:00

Laura: wasn't a tool maker, Ron. That's Jesus.

Ron: Um, that's Kirstam.

Laura: I think of Kirstehmer as Jesus. Um, he's a very jesusy figure to me. No, Ron, his dad was a farmer.

Ron: Okay?

Laura: Yeah, but the sort of farmer that had been to Oxford.

Ron: Laura, can you stop lobbing these facts over the wall like they're really interesting?

Laura: Ron, um, if you dedicate an episode to Rowan Atkinson, you gotta find the life of Rowan Atkinson interesting. Yeah, but his dad, there's simply no getting around.

Ron: His dad didn't cure lung cancer or like, served man on the moon. He was a farmer in a rural place.

Laura: Fed the nation. Fed the fucking nation.

Ron: Is that why he's called Mister Bean? Did his dad, was his dad a bean farmer?

Laura: I don't know. You're in charge of the bean. I didn't look at bean at all. I've looked at everything but bean.

Ron: I've looked at just bean.

Laura: Just bean.

Kip has lots of questions about Rupert Atkinson, UKIP's eurosceptic economist

The next sentence right is an absolute fucking doozy. So this is from Wikipedia, okay? So it says three older brothers, a Paul, who died as an infant. And you're like, oh, God, that's really sad. That's horrible. Rodney, a eurosceptic economist who narrowly lost the UKIP leadership election in 2000.

Ron: What?

Laura: And Rupert. Now I have so many questions about Rupert. What a family. Like, really gutting, obviously. Horrible to lose a child and then. I had no idea. Rowan Atkinson's brother tried to lead you, Kipdin.

Ron: Yeah. That's really weird.

Laura: How's that not bigger news?

Ron: Oh, Google. His brother. His brother looks like a wrongdoing.

Laura: Well, yeah, he tried to lead you, Kip.

Ron: What a strange looking guy. It's like, I'm Jeremy Corbyn's brother is an absolute wrong un as well.

Laura: Yeah, and so is mine. There also seems to be some kind of MMA fighter called Rodney Atkinson. That's not who you're looking at, is it, Ron?

Ron: No, I was looking at the man with the moustache that looks like he's hiding from crimes.

Laura: He does. Doesn't he like crimes from the seventies? Um, yeah. So I want to know what Rupert Atkinson's up to, though. Do you think he's just a real chill guy that doesn't need as much attention as everyone else?

Ron: Let's try and find out. Rupert Atkinson. You got Rupert Atkinson the poet? He was an australian poet. Um. Or Rupert Atkinson the RAF officer? He was a world war one flying ace. Sorry.

Laura: Wow. Sorry. I'm looking at more about Rodney here. This is how anti being part of the EU his brother is, right? So he, uh, he founded. He was the referendum party candidate in north West Durham at the 1997 general elections, led UKiP, the lead UkIP candidate for the northeast region in 99 european elections, lost the UKIP leadership in 2000 and then, like, fell out with Nigel Farage and everybody else. But he laid misprision of treason charges against Francis, Maud and Douglas heard, for signing the Maastricht treaty, which I think is the EU treaty, isn't it? Um, like in that, like, he tried to sue them for treason for joining the EU.

Ron: Wow.

Laura: He co authored a book, treason at Maastricht, the destruction of the nation state.

Ron: Interesting.

Laura: Yeah, he's a pretty no government kind of a guy, I think. But then he's also written some books called Fascist Europe rising 2001. I wonder if he's pro or against. Uh. And into the fire. Fascist elements in post war Europe and the development of the European Union. So does he think the EU is fascist? Fascinating. Anyway, if anybody's got any information on Rupert, we're curious.

Ron: Yes. Okay. Carry on with, um.

Laura: Why? What are you looking at?

Ron: It's probably spoiler I was just reading into, um, Rowan Atkinson's current partner.

Laura: Oh, Ron, we'll get there.

Ron: Yeah. Because I imagine you can retail. No, but I already knew. Oh, yeah, yeah, you could. You can probably retell all of that stuff later on. That's very funny.

Laura: Yes.

Laura and I are researching Rowan Atkinson's brothers

Ron: So I found this really weird picture of Ed Gamble that I'm gonna show you.

Laura: Why? Why, why were you doing your own research mid episode? This is the problem with you, is you

00:15:00

Laura: tell me to do research and then rather than play the banter of sport podcasting, fool, you just sit and do your own research. During the episode, Laura, we were both.

Ron: Researching, both researching Rowan Atkinson's brothers. We are both trying to find the mysterious Rupert. This could have been our fucking serial. Or, um, you know, any murders in the business.

Laura: But that is a weird picture.

Ron: That's just. Look, look at this. Look at this page that I found.

Laura: Very orange.

Ron: Why is this page? That's what it has.

Laura: Rotten tomatoes. Celebrity forward slash Ed gamble. Highest rated, not available. Lowest rated not available. Birthday, 11 March 1986. Oh, near my birthday.

Ron: Stop.

Laura: Birthplace? Hammersmith, London, England. The UK. That's all that is. A couple of photos of him. Yeah. I don't really know, to be honest.

Ron: Anyway, keep telling me about Rowan Atkinson.

Laura: Uh, okay. Um. He went to school with Tony Blair, Ron.

Ron: Unsurprised.

Laura: Went to a fancy schmancy fee school, paying. So it must have been a fucking big farm. Um, and guess what, Ron? Here's a link to our podcast. He did a level science, Ron.

Ron: No way.

Laura: Yeah, he's a scientist, Mister Bean. Mister Bean's a scientist, Ron. He got top grades. Then he went to Newcastle University and got a bsc in electrical and electronic engineering. And then he went to Oxford and got a masters in electrical engineering. Run all about ohms and hertzes and stuff. He'd have enjoyed that part of our podcast.

Ron: He'd have loved it. Yeah.

Laura: Then he started going to Oxford with the Oxford review, got noticed, made friends with Richard Curtis, and then career wise, basically, like, went from, um, Edinburgh, appearances, had a radio three show and then started appearing on tv. And then Blackadder was the first, like big tv role, like his, like. But yeah, I am the king of.

Ron: T, which is lucky because the first series of Blackadder is absolute dog shit.

Laura: Yeah. And then they like rejig it, don't they? He started out being more like Baldrick.

Ron: Yeah, yeah, he's the fool in the first series.

Laura: Yeah. And then they kind of clocked it, like, no, he's got to play high status.

Ron: Yeah, cuz. Yeah, without, like, yeah, Ronak is kind of looking down on Baldrick and stuff throughout. It, uh, is. It's nothing.

Laura: Yeah, well, I don't think that's what they found, but back then you just get it made and then even though it was bad, they'd go, oh, but do. Do another series, and then we'll see.

Ron: There is, um, no one else we can ask.

Laura: No, some women. No, no, no, we'll just. You just have another go.

Rowan Atkinson played the cane in Citizen Kane

Um, do you know what his first film role was? Ronnie was the first film he was in.

Ron: He played the cane in Citizen Kane.

Laura: He didn't know. He played the Zen. The city of Zen.

Ron: Yeah, no, he played the city, actually.

Laura: He played, though. He did. He played every character in a sort.

Ron: Of Andy Serkis style.

Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He played the skyscrapers. He just ran to the back and put his arms over his head. Played the telephone wires, played a fire.

Ron: Hydrant at one point. They actually use camera trickery, so he's on the screen twice when they have to do the city, but also the reflection of a city in one of the city's own windows. And it's quite important.

Laura: But he's also playing the window and.

Ron: He'S playing the Zen Anthocaine.

Laura: Yeah, his Zen, I think, is one of his best roles. You feel a piece. Despite the fact that one man is running around playing 9000 characters and buildings and vehicles, there's a piece to it, you know.

Ron: Yeah. And the rigidity and sturdiness that he brings to the cane speaks for itself.

Laura: Well, I think because if, without that, the xen would be a bit overpowering, but because of the cane, the constant threat of being hit across the buttocks, you, you appreciate that you're not being hit across the buttocks all the more.

Ron: Look, there are a thousand podcasts describing the ying and yang s pull of Rowan Atkinson Zen and Kane. We don't need to go through it again.

Laura: No, no. You know, you've listened to those podcasts.

00:20:00

Laura: Now, his first film, Ron, was a Bond film.

Ron: A Bond film, yeah.

Laura: He was in never say never again in 1983.

Ron: Wow.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Is it when Bond goes into a department store and it's like looking to get a gun? He's bonded.

Laura: Uh, I can't do it. Uh uh. Do it again.

Ron: Bold Owen wasn't a skit.

Laura: Do teddy again.

Ron: Tuttle, you say it was never say never again.

Laura: Yeah. Isn't a Bond film. Because then he went on to do like Johnny English and, oh, fuck, that's.

Ron: A Sean Connery one.

Laura: Yeah, that's a proper bond film.

Ron: Oh, he looks gross.

Laura: Who? Rowan Atkinson?

Ron: Yeah. Rowan Atkinson had an old man's face from a young age.

Laura: He. I think he's one of those people that's almost either we've just got really used to his face or he's got better looking as he's got older.

Ron: I think both. But he's an. Yeah, I think if he was born a hundred years earlier, they'd have put him in some kind of, uh, some kind of travelling show.

Laura: What do you mean? Why? What would he have done in this travelling show?

Ron: I don't know. Just the, the man with the face and.

Laura: Yeah, well, the rubber face was his name. He's, um, um, in that. So I'm looking at a picture of never say never again where him and Sean Connery are in, um, um, they're in white suits together. And there's a sort of, there's an air of the grima worm tongue about Rowan Atkinson.

Ron: Here's a picture of, um, Sean Connery where he really looks like Ian his lot.

Laura: I think Sean Connery looks a bit like Bob Monkhouse. Oh, he does look like Ian Hislop in this picture.

Ron: What does Bob monkhouse look like?

Laura: Sean Connery.

Ron: Oh, I see what you mean. A young Bob monkhouse.

Laura: Yeah, yeah, he's dead now.

Ron: Dead now. Of course.

Laura: I dear. Um, um, where were we? I really need a wee. From here on, I just cherry picked a bit of stuff. So he's got some political views that are sad, but having coped with his brother, not as bad as his brother's views. And I guess we'll have to see.

Ron says he looks at Jerry Seinfeld's b movie and wants success

What the fuck?

Ron: Wasn't Rowan Atkinson recently one of these people that was like, oh, comedy's supposed to offend people. You can't fucking do comedy for the fucking snowflakes. He's like, mate, your last show was called Madden versus B. Who? Edgy envelope. Do you think you were pushing, man?

Laura: He looked at Jerry Seinfeld's b movie and went, that is the sort of success I want.

Ron: Well, I mean, Jerry Seinfeld's one of those guys as well. In a lot of ways, Roan Atkinson is r Seinfeld.

Laura: Um, um. No. No.

Ron: You don't think.

Laura: No, because I think Seinfeld was quite famously, like, talking.

Ron: Yeah, but Rowan actors and talks in Blackadder.

Laura: Yeah, but he's an actor in that I watched in research.

Ron: Do you think Seinfeld's a documentary?

Laura: No, but his stand up. I think of Seinfeld as a stand up way more than an actor.

Ron: Yeah, that's because you're a stand up, whereas everyone else just knows him as the guy from Seinfeld.

Laura: Yeah, but he's only got Seinfeld because he's a stand up and he wrote Seinfeld. Whereas I don't think Rowan Atkinson wrote Blackadder.

Ron: I know Ben Elton did, didn't he?

Laura: Yeah. And Richard Curtis and Griffey Jones, maybe.

Ron: It seems, uh, one of my shocking facts is not going to be as shocking as I thought it was, by the way.

Laura: Oh, uh, why?

Ron: Because I was like, what? Rowan Atkinson and Richard Curtis made Mister bean. Richard Curtis from love.

Laura: Actually.

Ron: That's mad. But it turns out they work together quite a lot.

Laura: Yeah, I think so. I think they must have been at Oxford at the same time.

Ron: Yeah, we should go to Oxford. It seems that's where it's happening. That's where you get the big jobs.

Laura: I wish I'd known that as a child. This

00:25:00

Laura: is where like, growing up with any kind of connection to entertainment and the world helps. I just didn't really know that if you wanted to be a performer, you went to Oxford and Durham.

Ron: Did you apply to Oxford or Durham?

Laura: No, Ron. No, I didn't.

Ron: I did. I didn't get in.

Laura: Do you think you'd have got into acting and performing?

Ron: Um, probably. Um, not. But I might have been like in the next radio head. I think they're from Oxford. I think I'd got more into music.

Laura: Yeah. Why don't we start a band together?

Ron: Because you are untalented.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Also, we don't like this. You don't really like music?

Laura: No.

Ron: Unless we were singing, like, um.

Laura: Maybe we should be a historical music band, Ron. My wife's head, that's a niche nobody's doing.

Ron: What about Hamilton? Horrible histories. Those two really big things.

Laura: I love them. Yeah, but they're not like releasing rock music, are they?

Ron: Oh, so you want to just be a band that does.

Laura: Yeah. Why would only, like, we can do love songs and stuff, but they're all from the perspective of Anne of Cleves.

Ron: Look, I don't want to backseat your career, but why wouldn't we, like, stay in the lane we're in and at least do science if we're going to do tedious interviews, informational songs.

Laura: Yeah, okay, I'm in.

Ron: Okay. Right.

Laura: You write, you write the lyrics, I'll clap along.

Ron: No, because then I have to write the music as well. You write the lyrics and I'll write the music.

Laura: Ron, I really need a wii. Can we have a break?

Ron: No.

Laura: Please.

Ron: No. This is the kind of nervous energy we need at the end of term.

Laura: I think you need to be happier and more happy go lucky for the end of terminal.

Ron Kearns: Let's blitz through his horrible political reviews

Ron: I've been having a great time. I've been sending you pictures of Bob Monkhouse and yeah, that's.

Laura: Let's blitz through his horrible political reviews. Ron, um, in 2005, him and a load of other writers and Stephen Fry, the national treasure, attempted to force a review of the racial and religious hatred bill because they didn't want it to give overwhelming power, uh, to religious groups to impose censorship on the arts. Stop sending me that butt photo. Then he was criticising homophobic speech legislation like, no, I should be able to say what I want about anyone ever. Um. What else did he do? He opposed the serious organised crime and police act. Uh, he was like, no, I should be able to have freedom to criticise ideas. And ideas, even if they are sincerely held beliefs, is one of the fundamental freedoms of society. And a law which attempts to say you can criticise ridicule ideas as long as they're not religious ideas is a very peculiar law indeed. Maybe I agree. Um, then he defended Boris Johnson over the burqa. Uh, um, you know, where Boris Johnson was being incredibly offensive. Rowan Atkinson like wrote a thing in a newspaper being like, I actually thought it was a very funny joke. And you're like, God, really? Um, so, yeah, he's got a bit John Cleesy in the, uh, in his later life.

Ron: As, ah, is the way people like to pioneer something and then pull up the drawbridge behind them.

Laura: Yeah. But then I guess he thinks he's not pulling it up by. By saying you should be able to laugh and joke about whatever you please without realising why those bills have been brought into place. It's like, from my perspective, it was fine. Yeah, and what was that perspective?

Ron: Nobody commented on the burqa. I wasn't wearing a.

Laura: Um. Yeah. So, uh, Ron, he's been on top gear. He was a star in a reasonably priced car.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: He drove a Kia seed around the track.

Ron: He did really well, doesn't he? Isn't he really into his cars?

Laura: Yes, Ron, he is. He won the top of the leaderboard. 1 minute 42.2. Significantly higher than the other record holder, Tom bloody cruise.

Ron: Wow.

Laura: Mister Bean shaved 2 seconds off Tom Cruise's time. Ron, it's thin on the ground. Alright? We've either got bigotry or we've got this. What do you want to talk about? Because you didn't want to just sit and watch bean videos. Like, I wanted to so bring something to the party.

Ron: Top. Duh.

Laura: There's such a loud pigeon outside my window. Um, okay, Ron, I've got two more things. I'll tell. Uh, let's cover his personal life then, because

00:30:00

Laura: it is very funny. Um, so he got married in the late eighties. Oh, no, sorry. Married in 1990. He married a makeup artist called Sunetra Sastry. Um, they got married in 1990, had two children together. And then in 2013, um, he was in a play with, ah, an actress called Louise Ford. Um, significantly younger than him, but not in a creepy way, I don't think. I think just about an okay age range.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: She's in a 38 and 32.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: So 26 years, but I feel like 32. You know what you're doing.

Ron: Yeah. She's not a child.

Laura: No.

Ron: He's not a Seinfeld in that way.

Laura: No. And while there is a sort of slight power imbalance, I suppose, that he is like a mega star. I guess she is in a play with him, so it's not like she's got no clout.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Um. Uh, and they met and then she broke up with James a caster in order to be with Rowan Atkinson. He left his wife and divorced her and now they have a child together, him and Louise Ford, so been together, what's that, ten years now? And James a caster. It has very funny stand up material about being the only person in the world who has been left for Mister Bean.

Ron: Yeah, that's a very funny bit about. Yeah. Finding out that your conference dumped you. It's for Mister Bean. Yeah. It's the sort of thing where if there wasn't loads and loads of proof, you'd just be like, that is, you know, like if John Kearns did that, you'd be like, wow, that's so funny. And off the wall. But then, no, it's just real.

Laura: Yeah. I didn't really realise who she was and then I was giggling, I was like, oh yeah, I've watched her in, um, the royal family or whatever that, what's it called? The like, spoof, the Windsors. I think she's in that. And then the last thing, Ron, like, his wikipedia's batshit. It's all over the place. It's like, oh, you were there at the beginning of british comedy and then you're into your cars and lived on a farm and now you've Nick James Acosta's girlfriend and you're all the shop.

Atkinson flew his private plane while the pilot fainted in 2001

Then this one for me. In March 2001, while Atkinson was on holiday in Kenya, the pilot of his private plane fainted. Atkinson managed to maintain the plane in the air until the pilot recovered and was able to land the plane at Wilson airport in Nairobi. He's a real life James Bond.

Ron: Bond. Um, yeah. Wow.

Laura: He can play Mister Bean. He can steal the girlfriend of like the most top guy in comedy at the time. He can fly a plane while the pilots passed out. He can drive faster than Tom Cruise. He's the swiss army knife of men.

Ron: I'd leave James Acaster for him.

Laura: You should burn all of your James acaster merch and buy Boon merch.

Ron: Uh, well, that really gets you every time, doesn't it? It's not even a great impression. Like, I think it's okay.

Laura: I love being so much. I was just, there you go.

Ron: I was just reading about Ben Elton. Now that's an impressive guy.

Laura: I've met Ben Elton loads.

Ron: Yeah, I was there when you did, um, upstart crow one time.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And um. Yeah, that was, yeah, I'd like to. He seems cool. He was the youngest ever script writer for the BBC.

Laura: Can you hear that pigeon?

Ron: He was a co writer on the young ones at, ah, 23.

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

Ron: He wrote Blackadder two in 1985 when he was 26.

Laura: What the fuck? Page?

Ron, what research did you do into Mister Bean

So Ron, what, um, um, what research did you do into Mister Bean?

Ron: Um.

Laura: You didn't do any, did you? You're about to just talk about fucking soybeans for a while, aren't you?

Ron: No, I really would want to, but you know that the complete guide to everything's already done an episode that was supposed to be about beans, but then Tom just does it on Mister Bean, or as he calls it throughout the whole episode. And it's really funny. Mister Beansen, it's a great bit. Um, but no, Mister Bean, it only ran for five years. I think. I think it's interesting, the cultural powerhouse that bean is with the brevity of bean in full perspective because it only ran for five years.

Laura: Really?

Ron: Yeah, yeah, from 1990 to 90, uh, five.

Laura: Finished off that bit where we were all watching it and, and he falls out of the light onto the street on

00:35:00

Laura: the cobbles and it'd be on in the evening and you just loved it.

Ron: But I was only there for like 13 months and six days of that.

Laura: But I bet it got repeated a lot, Ron.

I think the film has too many strands in it, Ron. I love the idea of montage film

Ron: But as we've just discussed before, I've never seen an episode of Mister Bean.

Laura: How.

Ron: I don't know, I've seen Mister Bean's holiday.

Laura: Um, is that the one where they go to LA? Is that the one with no it's.

Ron: Where they go to France.

Laura: Oh, uh, Mister Bean and Whistler's mother. Which one's that one? Because he was in a Ronan Keating video. Oh, it's just called Bean. That was out in 97.

Ron: Yeah, well, there's two films and that's one of them. The other one's Mister Bean's holiday. So get this, Laura. Uh, did you know that it was co created with Richard Curtis, who made love?

Laura: Actually, yeah, I did, Ron.

Ron: That was like, wow. Because also, did you know Rowan Atkinson plays a small part in love, actually?

Laura: Yeah, Ron. Yeah. He plays like, there's fan theories, aren't there, that he's an angel.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And he's like deliberately prevaricating in order to, like, make a. What's his name? I want to say ignatio, but it's not, is it? Yeah. What's his name?

Ron: Alan Rickman.

Laura: Alan Rickman.

Ron: Ignatio.

Laura: Alamo.

Ron: Ignathio.

Laura: His name. Yeah. He's like, he's like messing about, trying to make him go, oh, for goodness sake, don't bother then. Don't worry about it. Um, uh, but obviously he doesn't.

Ron: Ignatio is a name, at least.

Laura: Yeah, I know.

Ron: Why would his name be Ignatius?

Laura: I couldn't remember. His name was. I knew his name's Alan. Yeah, but Alan. Rick, man. There's more syllables. Ign. No, it's not even this. I don't know. I know it wasn't Ignatio.

Ron: There's a comedian from Wales called Ignatio Lopez.

Laura: Lopez? Yeah.

Ron: Is that who you're thinking of?

Laura: No, Ron, I was thinking of Alan Rickman. I just couldn't remember his name. So I said, oh, uh, I want to say ignatio, but it's nothing. It was Alan Rickman.

Ron: Yeah, but you have to understand, that's like me trying to pull Hugh Laurie from my brain. I want to say Carlos.

Laura: Yeah, well, sometimes that's what you've got to do to get to the pudding.

Ron: Anyway, what was your point? Yeah, he's an angel.

Laura: That's dealing with Ignatius theory that he's an angel.

Ron: Why would that be the case when there's nothing else supernatural in the whole film?

Laura: Well, because the film makes no sense and it's absolute crap.

Ron: But I feel like this is just one of those trendy things. They hate love, actually.

Laura: No, I've hated love actually for a long time. Here's my problem with it. I think it's got. I love the idea of a sort of montage film, but I think it's got too many strands in it in order to be able to do them all well. So a lot of the exposition has to be so, like, clunky in order to fit it all in that I think the script is actually really bad. And I think if they taken out two to three storylines and just kept all the ones that definitely weave into each other a little bit more, it would have been much better.

Ron: Yeah. Get rid of Tim free. No, his name's not Tim Freeman. Martin Freeman. And, um, Jose Joanna Page. Get rid of that one.

Laura: Yeah, that one's boring. Um, get rid of, um, Colin Firth.

Ron: Oh, no, that's one of the better ones.

Laura: No, that one's wank.

Ron: That one's great. Um, I think let's rejig Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant's great as PM, but the whole. It's a bit weird.

Laura: Yeah. He called me funderfies.

Ron: Yeah. That needs a massive re edit.

Laura: Yeah.

I hate the bit where Emma Thompson's sitting with Andrew Lincoln

Um, obviously, we're keeping Emma Thompson.

Ron: Well, Emma Thompson is a star.

Laura: Yes. Who else is in love? Actually?

Ron: Um, the Bill Nye bit. The bill nighy bits. Flawless.

Laura: That's great. Yeah. That's perfection. The Laura Linney bits, just a bit sad. And I hate the bit where they're at the wedding watching the DJ.

Ron: Uh, the one with the brother.

00:40:00

Laura: Yeah. And I don't mind that storyline. It's got pathos. It's cute, it's touching. But I hate that bit where they're sitting at the wedding and she's sitting with Andrew Lincoln.

Ron: Which one's Andrew Lincoln?

Laura: Um, the one who marries Keira Knightley.

Ron: Oh, yeah. All of the Kieran Knightley stuff's a bit weird.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Especially, isn't she, like, 17 in that film?

Laura: Is she?

Ron: I think Keira Knightley was very young when she filmed that year. Yeah. Keira Knightley was, like, 18.

Laura: It's quite young to be getting married, isn't it?

Ron: Yeah. Because she was born in 85.

Laura: Do anything creepy in it, though?

Ron: No, but it's a bit weird that, like, a grown man's grown up at a door and, uh, Emma Thompson's so beautiful.

Laura: Yeah. I've looked at love from both sides now. Oh, uh, what a scene.

Do you know what film had a really weird but great cast

Ron: Do you know what film had a really weird but great cast? Much ado about nothing?

Laura: The Kenneth Branagh one.

Ron: Yeah. Listen, m to all these massive stars that are in this.

Laura: Can you just read them out while I go? And we. Because I really need a wii.

Ron: No, Laura, we're almost done.

Laura: You haven't done anything yet.

Ron: Laura, listen to this.

Laura: You just said that Bean ran from 1990 to 1995. That's all you've done.

Ron: Laura, can you fucking listen, please? Laura.

Laura: Fuck me.

Ron: Laura. Kenneth Branagh, obviously he directs it, but then you got Emma Thompson as Beatrice, but then you got Keanu Reeves, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Briars, Imelda Staunton, Brian Blessed, Denzel Washington, my, um, what's his name? Michael. The. Michael Keaton is in it.

Laura: Wow. I love Michael Keaton.

Ron: Yeah, he plays the. The funny character. Robert Sean Leonard, aka Wilson from house.

Laura: I don't know what that is, but I'm happy for you.

Ron: You've never seen House?

Laura: No. It was something you and older sister of the podcast were always really into. Anyway, it was after I'd already left for uni.

There are only like 14 episodes of Mister Bean, Laura

Ron: Anyway, let's, um, um, let's get back on Bean, eh?

Laura: So we were never on bean. Yeah, we saw the mountain of Bean in the distance and then you went, who get on this train? And we just veered off in another direction.

Ron: Laura, did you know there are only like 14 episodes of Mister Bean?

Laura: I didn't know that. How did that fit into five years then? There must have been like one year where there's only one.

Ron: Sparse. Well, actually. Yeah, sparse. Um, well, because I guess actually on the five years, the 15th, the last episode actually was just called the best bits of Mister Bean, so. Oh, that's not even a full app, really. Eclipse episode that is number 15. There are 14 pure beans.

Laura: We've done like a hundred more episodes.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Where's our knighthood?

Ron: So, Laura, episode one was just called Mister M Bean, love. Now this one clean, simple, clean bean, as they say.

Laura: M. Um, this gotta keep your bean.

Ron: Clean was released on New Year's Day 1990.

Laura: They're thinking, lovely. It's perfect. New Year's Day.

Ron: It's a new decade, it's new be dawn.

Laura: It's a new day. It's a new bean for me.

Ron: No, no, no. It's a new.

Laura: And I'm, um, feeling buddy.

Ron: Right. You really fucked that up. It's a new dawn, it's a new day. It's a new life for Bean. Tada. That's how it should have been.

Laura: Sorry.

Ron: Um, yeah, so we're talking. It's the nineties. It's the go go nineties.

Laura: Everybody's a Ladette.

Ron: Yeah. Everything's about to happen. So they launch Bean into the new world of the nineties. They get Ben Elton in for that first episode. The first episode is the one where he's doing the exam.

Laura: Oh, yeah. And he's like, um, yeah. Being copied off or he's copying.

Ron: He's copying. Yes. Then, Laura, what they do? They wait eleven months. They keep the people frothy for Bean. Yeah.

Laura: Bean. Bean. Bean. Touch my bean. Bean. Bean. Give me Bean. Bean. Bean. There were riots that summer for Bean.

Ron: But you know what? They knew that, and they played that with the crowd. This episode, that's called the return of Mister Bean.

Laura: Bean. Bean. Bean. We've got Bean. Bean. Bean. How long was the first episode of Bean?

Ron: Don't know. Don't have that. Um,

00:45:00

Ron: they swapped out between for episode one and episode two, Ben Elton for a man called Robin Driscoll. Don't worry about him. He's not worried about you. Episode three. Guess what, Laura? New Year's Day again. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. People are like, what? Been again after only two months, now they're settling in. They think they're getting Bean on that. They think they're getting that regular bean tap.

Laura: Yeah. You're like, I can go and get really fucked up on New Year's Eve because I know I'm waking up to Bean tomorrow.

Ron: Yeah, but Laura, no. Six months passed. No fucking more bean.

Episode three of Mister Bean drops on New Year's Eve 1991

They should have seen it coming. Because episode three, do you know what that's called? The curse of Mister Bean. They should have known.

Laura: Is he alright?

Ron: Well, we don't know. But then they're like, they. Six months pass, no more bean hits. They think, fuck, we're gonna have to wait probably eleven months again for more bean. No, 15 October bean drop. Yes, 19 91 50.

Laura: Or birthday snow.

Ron: That's near sister of the podcast. Birthday, um, cradling way closer to yours. 1991.

Laura: No, I mean the date in the year. Right?

Ron: Okay. Anyway, that one drops. That one's called Mister Bean goes to town. He's buying a portable television, but he has difficulty getting good reception. It's classic bean stuff. Probably, I don't know, I haven't seen it. Now, the people, I believe you didn't.

Laura: Watch them all in preparation.

Ron: The people at the end of, um, at the end of 1991, they're thinking, are ah, we getting beans for New Year's? Are ah, we getting bean? January 1, 1992.

Laura: Petitions asking for it.

Ron: Well, you know what, Laura? Hundred percent, the usual yearly bean drop happens.

Laura: Gotta give me my New Year's bean. They was a. There was an argument that we should change it from New Year's Eve, and then instead of New Year's Day, just New Year's bean.

Ron: New Year's bean. Well, this one's called the trouble with Mister Bean.

Laura: Um, but you know, it's everything he's terrible.

Ron: And then so the people New Year's Day, they're lapping up their yearly New Year's Day bean. The people settle in for eleven months, maybe ten months of no bean. Laura but you know what happens?

Laura: Maybe there's back catalogues that they can go and get from HMV, though, so that they can re watch to sort of stave off the bean withdrawal, maybe.

Ron: But they don't need to, because on the 17th of Feb that year, episode six, mister M. Bean rides again. Drops, uh, surprise bean.

Laura: Job they've had for making love to Valentine's. Ah, sexy beans.

Ron: Everyone's still cleaning themselves up from Valentine's Day, but Mister Bean drop, that's three episodes in the course of about six months. Laura it's fucking mental.

Laura: M. Sporadic with the crowd is going wild.

Ron: People settle in. Things get a bit antsy around November again. We're like, are we getting, are we getting our late year bean? No.

Laura: Whoa.

Ron: The bean cannot be predicted because do you know what happens then? Everyone's expecting first day of the year. Bean. No. They dropped this episode on the 29 January of December.

Laura: Whoa. Gooch week. Bean.

Ron: Gooch. Bean.

Laura: You can't just drop Bean down the gooche.

Ron: This one's called Merry Christmas, mister Bean. But they've missed Christmas.

Laura: They have missed Christmas.

Ron: They then sail right through New Year's Day. There is a I don't know how episode long an episode of Mister Bean is. There's a 90 minutes fucking gap in everyone's schedule on the 90 minutes on the first of the. On the first of the year, 93, however. Weird, right? 17th of Feb again drops another episode. What's going on with the 17th of Feb?

Laura: Yeah, it's not even his birthday. His birthday is the 6 January.

Ron: Yeah. Was it a bank holiday? Because in this episode, Bean treats himself to a bank holiday weekend at the Queen's hotel. Sounds like a laugh riot.

Two years in a row Mister Bean misses New Year's

Um, anyway, then we get into what many people call the slew of bean. Um, but they cruise, right the rest of the way through 93 without even letting the people know that there's not getting their late year bean drop. And they completely miss New Year's.

Laura: Bean two years in a row with no new year's.

Ron: Two years in a row. No new year's been, no, no, no.

Laura: Festive beans. But people are like, don't worry, Valentine's is coming up. I've got twitchy bean fingers. But Valentine's is on its way. I'm gonna get my feb beans.

Ron: 10Th of Jan, some bean drinks. What

00:50:00

Ron: it's called. Do it yourself, Mister bean. This one is about a new year's Eve party.

Laura: It feels like what happened was they filmed a load of beans way back in the day, right? And then every time something went wrong and they had a gap in the schedule, they just pumped a bean into it.

Ron: Yeah, it's very odd. Um, then we get into the slew of beans, um, which is three in a year, 10th of Jan, 25 April, and then the 26 October we've never had.

Laura: Me was rocking.

Ron: We've never had an April release before.

Laura: Uh, yeah.

Ron: Now the next year, 95, we're actually getting close to my birthday here. Yep, we have another triple bean year. Tea off, Mister Bean. Good night, Mister Bean. Goodnight, Mister Bean. Only nine days before I was born. And then hair by Mister Bean of London six days after I was born.

Laura: So you might have watched that, Ron.

Ron: Well, I'm thinking, you know how I've got just natural comedy chops, um, and a kind of beanish face. Maybe it's because like the, the air was heavy with bean when I was.

Laura: It was thick with bean when I.

Ron: Was conceived and born.

Laura: I think probably mum and dad would have got you home from the hospital. Lord knows they weren't that fussed that you were there. You were, uh, the rupert of the family. So we probably propped you up between us and watched some bean.

Ron: Yeah. And here's the other thing as well. Um, you, uh, know, nine months before I was born, it's February, so mum and dad were probably sat around waiting for that 17 February bean drop that they'd been used to a couple of years previously, didn't come 90 minutes to kill, decided to stove each other in for a bit. And then I pop out nine months later.

Laura: A full shock now would be none of this podcast if it hadn't been for that February bean delay.

Ron: Yeah, now I've got two other things to say about Mister Bean. Um, I don't know if I can.

Laura: Hear them after stove each other in for a while. I think that might be me tapped out for a while.

Ron: Um, uh, he kind of, um, developed the character for a while. A sketch featuring Mister Bean was shown at the Edinburgh fringe in the early eighties. Um, a similar character called Robert Box was also played by Rowan Atkinson, um, in the 1979 a sitcom called Canned Laughter.

Laura: Um, Mister Box is not as funny as Mister Bean.

Ron: No. There's a bit, um, about how one of his earliest appearances was in the just for laughs comedy festival in Canada. Um, and obviously they wanted to put him on, uh, the english speaking programme, but he actually insisted that he got put on the french speaking bill, um, because he wanted to test out his act for, like, global audiences. And whether it was just funny for the English Orlando. Funny for everyone. Um, and then the other thing is that they, uh, they did, um, try out, or they did consider other, um, other vegetable names and call it, including Mister cauliflower.

Laura: Bean is funniest.

Ron: Being his funniest. And that's everything on bean.

Laura: I've had a lovely time run. Yeah, I feel. I feel really end of terminal.

Ron: Yeah, that was, um. Um. I feel. I feel beanie puddy.

Laura: If just was saying that, I'm gonna wet myself. Um. Um, well, we'll be back next week to evaluate my progress with Tom.

Ron: Yeah. Maybe some more bean chat. Should we just turn this into a bean pod?

Laura: Everybody start watching bean. Maybe let's scrap off all the Patreon plans we've got and just do a bean watch along.

Ron: Yeah, right.

Laura: I love beans so much. Go for your piston.

Ron: All right. Cluster pissed.