Laura: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education, the comedy science podcast where comedian me Laura Lexx princess learns science from the scientific child called Ron.
Ron: Hello, I'm Ron.
Laura: Hello, scientific child.
Ron: How's it going?
Laura: I'm good. How are you?
Ron: I'm good.
Laura: You're peppy. Are you peppy?
Ron: I am overtired, yeah. But no, I'm good. I'm getting a lot of love this week.
Laura: Yeah, people are being really nice to you on The Socials. We've got a real Team Ron situation growing team Ron.
Ron: Someone said I should be a teacher.
Laura: I don't think you should.
Ron: No, I don't think I should either.
Laura: I think you should be a small boy that lives in. *laughs* I make myself laugh. So, welcome to this week's episode, Ron. First things first. I'm the realist. There's been a lot of chat, mainly from me, about, you should sing The Venga Bus.
Ron: I don't know it. That was the whole point of the chat and I haven't listened to it.
Laura: Well, look, get the lyrics up. Stop squelching about and knows. Why are you taking off your headphones? Where are you going? He's wandering away. Where are you going Oh, he's got a guitar. Yes! Let's have the John Lewis advert version of the Venga bus.
*Ron plays the VengaBus on accoustic guitar* It’s beautiful.
Laura: All right, so if anybody needs a new ringtone, let us know and we will make that available for download.
Laura: He's so young.
Laura: We've had some good chat this week on The Socials about your favourite podcast.
Laura: Producers on podcasts, a lot of love for lots of different producers.
Laura: And we like to see it because the hosts, they get stuff, but the producers are the ones that go and do the editing.
Laura: Obviously, if you're a magical podcast like ours, the hosts and the producers are the same person.
Laura: So that's fun, isn't it?
Ron: What we've done is we found two different ways to praise ourselves.
Laura: Yeah, we're the best.
Laura: We're the best.
Laura: But this week, Ron, we actually do have a producer on the episode producer Nephew.
Laura: Producer Nephew makes his first appearance.
Laura: He is Producer Nephew because he first appeared on an episode of my other podcast, the National Treasures podcast, when we went to Wookie Hall in Somerset and Producer Nephew came along and he features in the background shouting about the colour yellow.
Ron: In this episode, he is swell.
Laura: He's a delight.
Laura: He is my favourite human being that I'm talking about right now.
Laura: I like loads of human beings.
Laura: Anyway, also, over on Twitter, bailed on.
Ron: That, because unless we've got two other.
Laura: Nephews yeah, but there's absolutely no chance that they listen to this podcast.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Last night so, oldest Nephew, you know, he's reaching.
Laura: That sort of like, gangly, awkward teenage phase.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Last night I was gigging at a venue and the guy that was doing the sound and stuff, the backstage manager kind of person, was exactly oldest Nephew.
Laura: But growing up, it was so cute.
Laura: He was so, like, mannerisms phrases.
Laura: Also, in that.
Laura: Like, I'm tall and skinny, kind of oh, God.
Laura: He'll have no idea why I just grinned at him like a maniac all evening.
Laura: I love you so, yeah, lots of love for all of the producer nephews, but only featuring youngest nephews this week.
Laura: Joe on Twitter has made us aware.
Laura: Ron, you remember in last week's episode I was talking about Lock and Cay?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: There's a restaurant in Ireland called the Lock and Cay.
Ron: Yes, I saw that.
Laura: Maybe this could be a good place for the first official Lex education weekend away.
Ron: It's like that Irish, the lake.
Laura: I don't know, it's a whole new spelling.
Laura: It's L-O-U-G-H.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Maybe it's laugh loud losing key loft.
Laura: Don't know.
Laura: We'll get some clarity, please.
Laura: But hey, let's go on an excursion.
Ron: Let's take the Vanguard bus there.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Although we'd need a Venga boat or a venga plane.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Anyway, so enjoy this week's episode.
Laura: What are we doing?
Laura: We're doing bonds this week.
Laura: It's chemistry.
Laura: It's all about bonds means bond.
Laura: Have a good time.
Ron: Enjoy.
Laura: Hello, Ron.
Ron: Hello.
Laura: It's Monday.
Laura: Afternoon is like the perfect time to do some science.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: You're neglecting our other sister.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: I've got a surprise visit from nephew and sister.
Laura: She confused me so much.
Laura: She stepped in yesterday and she said, oh, we're out looking at a car.
Laura: It's in Plymouth and that's only an hour down the road from you.
Laura: Shall I pop round?
Laura: And I was like, Thomas is like 5 hours away from me.
Laura: What are you talking about?
Laura: She went, oh, Portsmouth.
Laura: They both start with a P and end in mouth.
Laura: I get them confused.
Ron: They're both east of Bristol.
Laura: Sure.
Laura: Like Portsmouth is only an hour away.
Laura: Yeah, come over.
Laura: So they've come to stay for a few days.
Laura: Impromptuary fun.
Laura: You very nearly had to teach both of us this science, but we thought that would be quite confusing for everybody involved.
Laura: I feel quite sad about last week's quiz, Ron.
Laura: And so I really want to make better notes today.
Laura: I'm going to work really hard today.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: How's it looking today?
Ron: Today, I think it's not easy stuff, but I think it's all going to make sense to you.
Ron: I don't think any of it is going to come out of nowhere.
Ron: And also I think we've laid in previous chemistry, I think we've laid quite a lot of groundwork for what we're doing today.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: And also the aim for today is that this episode is incredibly boring because I'm just going, yeah, that sounds great.
Ron: That's the dream.
Laura: Writing it down clearly and efficiently.
Ron: I think you're also going to enjoy this because I think this is going to answer some questions you have about the structure of things and why they happen.
Laura: And the moon.
Ron: Nothing to do with the moon.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I'm quite scared because you sent me a few images on WhatsApp that looked terrifying.
Laura: So I suppose.
Laura: Let's go, shall we?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: So today we are going to be looking at different types of chemical bonds.
Laura: Hey, do you reckon you'd say class missed?
Laura: Because if you say dismissed, it means you go, but when you start, you should just say class missed.
Laura: Or is it like a mast?
Laura: Is it a mast?
Laura: Is dismissed and amassed.
Ron: Hang on, sorry.
Ron: What was the aim of today?
Ron: What was the dream?
Ron: God, what were you talking about?
Ron: I really lost where I was.
Laura: Well, we hadn't started yet, so that's okay.
Laura: I was just thinking at the end, you always say class dismissed, and so how do we say that at the beginning class aspmist.
Ron: Class asmist I think that's it.
Laura: I was trying to work out what the nondismissed so if you're not dismissed, you're just missed, aren't you?
Ron: So you admiss, I think, admissions, yes.
Laura: Class admissed.
Laura: Admitted.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You don't admit something, do you?
Ron: Well, asmus classmates right, so we're doing chemical bonds.
Laura: That really got stuck in your head.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: She's being very needy because I didn't look after her for 2 hours.
Ron: She was asleep in a different room, completely fine.
Ron: Stop looking at her b*** hole.
Ron: I can see.
Laura: I can't see her.
Laura: She's off my screen.
Laura: Are there?
Ron: Right.
Laura: We haven't started yet, so don't worry.
Laura: Just go to the beginning of your notes and begin there.
Ron: So we're doing chemical bonds, the different ways that atoms can bond together.
Laura: Their name's Atom Bond.
Ron: Why did you do that?
Ron: In the voice of a New York gangster.
Laura: No, that was James Bond.
Ron: F****** was it Adam?
Ron: She Adam Bond.
Laura: Their name is Adam.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Laura: Hey, that could be a comic.
Laura: We could start.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: There's nothing there.
Ron: Right, so there are three types of chemical bonds.
Ron: How atoms bond together.
Ron: We've talked about one of them before.
Ron: Can you remember what it is or how it works?
Laura: What have we talked about before?
Ron: We actually talked about two of them.
Ron: Two types of chemical bonds that we've discussed.
Laura: Valent bond.
Ron: Yes, that's one of them.
Ron: Can you think of the other one?
Laura: Isotopes?
Ron: No, don't just say words.
Laura: No, Ron, I can't think of another one.
Ron: Ionic bonds is another one.
Laura: Ionic bonds.
Ron: So you know when your sodiums and your chlorides and you are not all there react together, that's another one.
Ron: And then the third one is metallic bonds.
Ron: So the special type of way that metal atoms bond together when they form a metal.
Laura: If somebody hadn't made good notes in previous episodes and had no idea what a covalent or ionic bond was, how would you summarise that?
Ron: Well, don't worry, because.
Laura: This cat is really ruining this episode and it's nothing to do with me.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So we're going to go through all three types again because to be honest.
Laura: Going to make good notes with a good pen.
Laura: Maybe I'll be learning this so much better if I bought loads of new stationery before we started, like, not just the notepad, which has actually not turned out to be that helpful and haven't written anything good in it.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I've got a good pen now from Pavilion Diamond Limited in Brighton.
Laura: Free advertising for them.
Ron: Lovely.
Ron: So we're going to do ionic bonds first.
Laura: Ionic bond?
Ron: Ionic bond.
Laura: Here ironic bonds.
Laura: These are the bonds that you get when you have 10,000 spoons, but all you need is a plate.
Ron: Nice.
Ron: So ionic bonds occur when you have a non metal and a metal combined.
Laura: A non metal and a metal.
Laura: And we need to remember that things you would never think were metals are metals.
Ron: Like what?
Laura: Bananas and stuff?
Laura: Potassium.
Ron: Potassium, yeah.
Ron: That's because do you remember our definition of what a metal is?
Ron: Is anything that forms a positive ion.
Laura: I didn't remember that at all.
Ron: Maybe write that one down.
Laura: A metal.
Laura: And what was an ion again?
Ron: I'm not telling you that one.
Ron: You should f****** move that button.
Laura: Hold on.
Laura: Is there anything that makes a positive.
Ron: Eye on yeah, work it out from months of context.
Laura: Is that when they have different numbers of neutrons?
Ron: No, that's an isotope.
Laura: That's a really similar word.
Ron: No, just let's begin with an I.
Laura: And have an O in it.
Laura: Ions is only hang on.
Laura: An iron needs electricity.
Laura: So it's about losing an electron or gaining an electricity or gaining an electron.
Ron: And therefore it will be charged.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: And a metal is an element that forms a positive ion.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: E, g, sodium plus.
Laura: I've written all of this down, Ron.
Ron: Brilliant.
Ron: If they're forming a positive iron, have they gained or lost an electron?
Laura: Lost.
Laura: Because the electrons are sad boys.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: And nonmetals are elements that form negative ions.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: So you can see why an ionic bond would occur, because the metal is going to form a positive ion by losing its electron, giving it to the nonmetal, it's going to form a negative ion.
Ron: And then because of the electromagnetic charges, they're going to be attracted together.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Active listening.
Laura: So hang on, let me tell the story now.
Laura: Can you hear producer nephew?
Ron: Yes, I can.
Laura: He's just shouting about downstairs.
Laura: So I'm a little sodium short and stout, and I'm wandering around, and I lose an electron to a chlorine.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Really depends on what you're about to say now and as to whether that's right or not.
Laura: I become positive because the sad boy wandered off and my party is better, and the chlorine becomes negative because they now have more sad boys than DJ's.
Laura: And then because I'm good and they're bad, we together via magnets, and we're an ionic bond now.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So when we've talked about your sodium chlorides and whatnot in the past, we're usually talking about them in solution dissolved in water.
Ron: So in that they aren't forming an ionic bond together because they're not bonded together, they're both dissolved.
Ron: They're both wet, covered in water.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: No.
Laura: Why does that make it any different?
Ron: Because they're dissolved.
Ron: So the ions are sort of free.
Laura: Where are they then?
Ron: In the water, freely floating around.
Laura: They're inside hydrogens and oxygens?
Ron: No, when things are dissolved, they sort of loosely bond with other things in there, but let's not go into that.
Laura: Feels like you're the one making us go into it.
Ron: No, I was just saying that when they're dissolved in water, they're freely floating around in the water.
Laura: I don't understand what dissolving is now.
Laura: Dissolving is like going into another world.
Laura: Dissolving is like going in a spaceship, Ron.
Laura: No, it's because you're here, but you're not here.
Laura: You're dissolved.
Laura: Where are you?
Laura: It's they're behaving differently.
Laura: Well, I'm in a swimming pool.
Laura: I'm the same.
Ron: No, you're not.
Laura: I am.
Ron: No, you're not.
Laura: What's different about me?
Ron: You do different things.
Ron: You react differently.
Ron: You don't, like, sit around on Twitter playing overcooked or chatting if my phone is fine.
Ron: But it's not.
Ron: So you do different things.
Laura: Yeah, but I'm still there and the.
Ron: Sodium and the chloride are still there.
Laura: But they're doing different things.
Ron: But you're doing different things.
Ron: You're f****** swimming if you're in a swimming pool.
Ron: How about that?
Laura: But I don't suddenly go, whoa, one of my toes is pinged off and stuck to another guy.
Ron: No, I didn't think this was going to be the bit we fell down.
Laura: All right, so they have these rules, but if you put them in a swimming pool, it doesn't happen.
Ron: They're attracted together, but when they're dissolved in water, they're in solutions.
Ron: There's other things that could kind of make up the charge between them.
Ron: So then they're kind of freely floating around.
Laura: I'm so confused about what even water is now.
Ron: Water is just h.
Ron: Two o.
Laura: How does it become water?
Ron: It just is water.
Ron: Water is a molecule and it's just.
Laura: There in the air and then it's not going to break.
Ron: The whole thing that I wanted to say is that usually we're talking about these things in solution, so they're not forming an ionic bond together because they're dissolved in water.
Ron: But things like table salt.
Laura: Yeah, I just licked my pen and past.
Ron: Yeah, things like table salt, that sodium chloride.
Ron: That is all ionic bonded together.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: When they're dissolved, then they're just near each other.
Laura: They're not stuck together.
Ron: When we write down something like the reaction of sodium reacting with chlorine.
Laura: After.
Ron: They react, they will then f*** off and never see each other again.
Ron: When they're in solution, because they're all just moving around.
Laura: So they'd come and get an electron and then go away again.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So the whole thing is like billions upon billions upon billions of particles all flying around, bumping into each other.
Laura: When you see that reaction, I'm just in there swimming.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: When that reaction happens, because I know in your brain, you think inherently.
Ron: That the sodium that reacted with that chlorine.
Ron: They're going to be physics mates somehow.
Ron: They're not.
Laura: No, I understand this now.
Laura: That makes sense now that it takes the electron and goes away.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Because it is happening on such a scale that we cannot imagine.
Laura: So we're not making sodium chloride in solution.
Laura: They're becoming ions, but they're not forming bonds.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: And we would call it sodium chloride iNSolution, because if you were to remove all of the water, it would form sodium chloride.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: They'd all huddle together.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then they'd make it.
Ron: But in solution it's not they just.
Laura: Spread out more because of chaos theory.
Ron: Yes, exactly.
Ron: They diffuse around.
Laura: All right, that makes sense now.
Laura: I understand.
Laura: It's not sorry, we came on a wiggly path.
Ron: Have you ever felt like this?
Laura: Strange things happen.
Laura: Are you going round the twist?
Ron: Have you ever let ever felt salty water completely dry up?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: And you've seen that forms like little square crystals.
Laura: Never noticed they were square.
Laura: I know.
Laura: It leaves like a white tide mark.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I guess if you had more salt, you'd start seeing the square crystals.
Ron: Well, I think you might have seen even, like, fancy rock salt, that's kind of square.
Laura: Oh, yeah, I know what you mean.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You told me that I was weird about salt, though.
Ron: Did I?
Laura: Yeah, because I have, like, three different types of salt in the coverage and you said I was weird about it.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Not because you have three types of salt.
Ron: You're just being weird about it.
Laura: I wasn't.
Laura: I just use them for different things.
Ron: Yeah, it's not about how you use them or what you do, it's just you were being weird about them.
Laura: I didn't think I was.
Laura: I think you set it up for nothing.
Ron: Can you take a look at figure A that I sent you, please?
Laura: What?
Laura: This is a naked photo of a person.
Laura: What that's not really fig A.
Laura: Oh, my goodness.
Laura: Right, so I'm looking at here on the left there's.
Laura: I can hear an ice cream van.
Laura: Can you?
Laura: I'd love an ice cream right now instead of science.
Ron: I'd love one too.
Laura: Well, you shouldn't have moved to stupid Brussels.
Ron: Yeah, they don't have ice cream here because of the EU.
Laura: Stupid EU.
Laura: On the left is some big pale grey circles and some small dark grey circles, and they are all sort of stuck together on sticks into a sort of rigid box frame of alternating.
Laura: So a pale grey, big circle connects to three dark grey circles, and then they go out to each connect.
Laura: We'll put it on the instagram, but that's basically what I'm looking at there.
Laura: Then on the other side, the same circles, but inverted colours, the big now, dark grey circles have negative signs on them, and the small, positive light grey ones have plus signs on them.
Laura: And the key is that small and grey means nah.
Laura: Plus and big and light grey means negative.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: It's very interesting that they've decided to invert the colours for those two diagrams, isn't it?
Laura: That is mind numbingly confusing.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's really needlessly s***, to be honest.
Ron: Basically, these are just two different ways of doing a diagram of what is called a crystal lattice structure, which is what ionic compounds form.
Ron: When they are in solid, they go in square, which is why then salt is cuboid.
Ron: It's how crystals form is, because their crystal lattices, on an atomic scale, form shapes like this, which is then why crystals will have geometric shapes.
Laura: And whatnot it feels bonkers to me that things naturally would make a straight line.
Ron: But, I mean, don't forget, they don't actually have the lines going between them.
Laura: But they've lined up.
Ron: Yeah, they've lined up.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Is there window?
Ron: The other thing that is important to understand is what are we talking about now?
Laura: Are we still talking about ionic?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: You know that N A is sodium, right?
Laura: I do know.
Ron: CL is chlorine.
Ron: We're looking at crystal Latin structures of ionic compounds.
Laura: Yeah, I don't know, Figura.
Laura: We're still on ionic bonds.
Ron: Yeah, because we're still focused.
Laura: I am focused.
Ron: The other thing to consider is in the same way that after the reaction happens in solution, the atoms wait, I.
Laura: Thought we weren't in solution anymore.
Ron: Don't interrupt me.
Ron: Halfway through a system, I'm about to explain it, especially when I started in the same way as clearly going to be followed by something else.
Laura: Can you say again in a different tone?
Laura: Then I'm finding it hard to listen to you.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: This ice cream man is taunting me.
Ron: In the same way that when you react their sodium and the chlorine in solution, the atoms are then not inherently friends.
Ron: When they're in a crystal lattice structure, it will be the same ratio of one sodium reacting with one chlorine.
Ron: But it is not just those two bonded together, because it's all just magnets.
Ron: So the magnetic force will go in all directions.
Ron: So they are just all kind of watched together, which is why they then form this structure, because they sort of land in a structure where they are all just equally bonded to each other in all directions.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I understood the magnets going in all directions.
Laura: I didn't understand what you meant about other things are in there.
Laura: So it's not NaCl.
Laura: It's just a pile?
Ron: It's a pile of NaCl.
Ron: It's a pile of sodium ions that are positively charged and chloride ions that are negatively charged, but nothing else.
Laura: There's no other guys?
Laura: There's no titanium or anything in there?
Ron: No, not if we're talking about pure salt.
Laura: How do they know that they're going to just get those guys?
Ron: What do you mean?
Laura: No?
Laura: I know the mistake I've made.
Laura: Don't worry.
Ron: So this is just one of those things where we're obviously just talking about this in kind of a pure theoretical sense when there's obviously going to be impurities in your table salt and there will be other bits and pieces and messes in there.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: And they don't obviously know anything because they're atoms and they're not friends, but they can you stop it?
Laura: Stop saying they're not friends.
Ron: Because you understand that's a concept or because that makes you sad?
Laura: Because I feel like you're being mean in a really shady way.
Laura: Being like, can you learn this?
Laura: Only in the way I say, where it just makes sense to me that they're bodies.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: This is just a friendship group pyramid, basically.
Laura: You're in a big group of friends.
Laura: You're not super close to everybody in that big group.
Laura: You're probably super close to three people and then they're super close to three people.
Laura: And that's how friendship group forms.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Delicious, salty friendship group.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: So that's kind of ionic bonds.
Ron: Any questions on that before we move on?
Laura: No.
Laura: I stopped making notes again.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: There's three things that students should be able to do after this.
Ron: All right.
Laura: And I am a dent of stew.
Ron: One of them is the juice that a compound is ionic from a diagram of its structure in one of the specified forms.
Ron: If it's a lattice, it's an ion structure.
Ron: Apart from certain if it's a lattice.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Crystal lattice.
Ron: Remember that?
Laura: I stopped listening, actually, and looked at Twitter while you were talking.
Laura: Can you say that again?
Ron: No.
Ron: What do you need me to say again?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Oh, p*** off.
Laura: Just for tiny minute.
Laura: Just from when I said I stopped making notes.
Laura: Can you go from there?
Ron: What I just mentioned was before then, the crystal lattice structure.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: What do you say lattice for, though?
Laura: Like a cube?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: But it would be huge.
Ron: Like, this is just an example of a small section of what an assault crystal would be.
Ron: Assault crystal would actually be billions of this.
Ron: That's just showing the structure of it.
Laura: Why are you saying a lattice?
Ron: Because it's a lattice.
Laura: I thought a lattice was like a potato.
Ron: No, this is a lattice.
Ron: That's why I keep f****** saying it.
Laura: I thought lattice was like a big hashtag.
Ron: Look at it.
Laura: Look at what?
Laura: I know what I'm looking at.
Ron: Look at it.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: It looks like a square.
Laura: Big square.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: A bit like a hashtag.
Ron: It's the same f****** thing.
Laura: You're swearing a lot today.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So it's lots of lattice 3D.
Ron: Can be.
Laura: I didn't know I dribbled all that.
Ron: So you should be able to deduce that a compound is ionic.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So produce an fu again.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: He just shouted the word yellow and I'm not sure why, but he did.
Ron: So it will be because there'll be two different types of thing and they're going to form an evenly organised lattice structure like that.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: No, wait.
Laura: What?
Laura: I thought an ionic bond is on a nonmetal and a metal combined.
Ron: It is.
Laura: So why did you just say that it would be about a lattice?
Laura: So they will always make a lattice.
Ron: When they're in solid form?
Laura: Yeah, always make a lattice.
Laura: Unless they're in water, and then they won't make an ionic bond.
Ron: They won't be ionically bonded together, then?
Ron: No.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: That's all that we're going to go into there.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: I'm not sure you get it.
Ron: The ionic bonds are happening in between the positively charged and negatively charged ions that are in the crystal lattice.
Laura: Crystal lattice is fancy, isn't it?
Laura: Listen.
Laura: Yeah, sure.
Laura: A positive and a negative, and they like each other.
Laura: That's it, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah, but you see how it forms like this big macro structure when you get lots of them together?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Well, you can draw it any way you like, but I understand that if I see one in a square, I'll call a lattice, and I'll say that that's ionic, but I'm never going to see that in the wild, am I?
Ron: Well, you might in a GCSE exam and have to identify it.
Laura: All right.
Laura: If I see it in a square, I'll say that's a lattice.
Ron: I feel like you're remembering but not understanding.
Ron: But we're going to move on to.
Laura: The next do you know what else to understand, though?
Ron: Because you kept on saying, what is the lattice?
Ron: Why are we talking about that?
Laura: This is a flat thing, and I was looking at this box, and you were talking about a lattice, so I wasn't sure if I missed something.
Ron: Right, okay.
Laura: Now, I know that you call boxes lattices.
Ron: Goodness me.
Ron: Right.
Ron: We're going to move on to the next one, which is covalent bonds.
Laura: Really stupid today.
Laura: Covalent bonds.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I've written that down.
Ron: Perfect.
Ron: We've actually done covalent bonds before, but I should think you don't remember them.
Ron: So covalent bonds are the bonds that form when two nonmetals react together.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Two nonmetals make a covalent, and we.
Ron: Remember that electrons go around atoms in different shells or layers in the outer out of bit.
Ron: We remember that there are eight electrons right.
Ron: Of the bit of the period they're.
Laura: Going to be full.
Ron: So there are eight spaces for electrons.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So electrons like to be in pairs.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Because they are lonely.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: They like to be in pairs.
Ron: And obviously, if you are helium or krypton or radon or whatever, one of the noble gases, you have a lovely full ring of eight buddied up electrons.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Four pairs.
Ron: Four pairs of buddied up electrons.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Makes them very unreactive, very stable guys.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Noble.
Ron: So these electrons in the outer shell, they don't instantly start pairing up with each other.
Ron: Right.
Ron: So the first one comes in, obviously, that's going to be a lonely boy.
Ron: Second one comes in, does not form a pair with the first one.
Ron: You then have two unpaired electrons.
Laura: Why?
Ron: It's to do with the structure of the shells.
Ron: And there are actually different types of energy shells, like P shells and D shells and then F shells.
Ron: And it's to do with just how they fill up crikey.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Number one comes in, he's on his own.
Laura: Number two comes in.
Laura: No one else would want to come to the party if they started kissing immediately.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: And then that goes all the way to four.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: And then you have four lonely boys.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Oh, so they're not lonely, but it's like a bus.
Laura: Nobody goes and sits next to each other immediately on a bus.
Laura: You always take a double seat on your own.
Laura: And then when more people feel to run, they have to sit with the least weird looking person.
Ron: Yes, exactly right.
Ron: However, deep down, if those little electrons were being honest with themselves, they actually do want to be in a pair.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Weird cute story about electrons.
Laura: Couldn't you?
Ron: If you take a look at your periodic table, I'm just going to get one up as well.
Ron: But let's take carbon, for example.
Laura: Carbonzo, beans, senor carbonzo.
Ron: So carbon is the we need to.
Laura: Think like edit bits out there.
Laura: That is just wrong.
Laura: Leaving a pause and moving on.
Ron: Carbon, as you can see, can form four Covalent bonds because it's got four single electrons in it's outer shell.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: All happily on their journey, reading their books, no a** cheeks next to them.
Ron: Which is why carbon is the basis of all organic chemistry, because it can form the most different structures, essentially because it can form four different bonds.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So like halogens, your fluorines and your chlorines and whatnot.
Ron: So they're going to have seven electrons in their outer shell.
Ron: So that's going to work out to be six content little pairs and one guy on its own.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Who are the halogens, fluorine, chlorine, bromine, IDINE number seven.
Ron: Your number seven?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You've got one guy left over.
Laura: So they can only form one bond.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: So if you think about these things forming chains or structures, a halogen, a chlorine or a fluorine or something, you can only form one bond.
Ron: So that's going to be the end of whatever chain you put it in.
Laura: Because it can only form a carbon could link onto a fluorine, chlorine, bromine and an iodine.
Ron: Exactly.
Laura: And make some sort of crazy thing.
Ron: So these sort of shapes that you can build out of nonmetals Covalently bonded together, that is what a molecule is.
Laura: Right.
Laura: So a Covalent bond makes a molecule.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: So then could you take a look at figure B for me when you get a chance?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: It's got a yellow and black stripy b*** with a point on the end and wings and what's.
Laura: That a pesticide coming towards it.
Laura: Run.
Laura: Figure B.
Laura: Run, don't run.
Laura: You're actually a slow runner.
Laura: Fly.
Laura: Fly.
Laura: Fig.
Laura: Fly.
Laura: Figure B.
Laura: Welcome to Figurbies.
Laura: Today will be auction seven porcelain.
Laura: Dalmatia.
Ron: You've muted yourself.
Ron: You've somehow turned yourself off.
Ron: You unplugged your microphone.
Ron: It went like I can see your mouth moving.
Ron: I can't hear you.
Laura: Listener, you probably heard a little sting there.
Laura: What happened was I got so excited about what I was singing about that I just liked, touched my microphone and it stopped working.
Laura: We are back.
Ron: Right.
Ron: So take a look at fig B, please.
Laura: Fig B.
Laura: Right.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Fig B for the listener.
Laura: Figa B.
Laura: It's a good word, isn't it?
Ron: Nice.
Laura: Figaby.
Laura: Figurby for the listener has ammonia NH three.
Laura: And then this does make sense.
Laura: So you've got an ammonia sitting there, and two electrons are in a little pair.
Ron: So the crosses represent electrons from the nitrogen.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: So one nitrogen is sitting there.
Laura: Right.
Laura: And he's got five electrons in this outer ring.
Laura: They haven't drawn the inner ring, which is annoying, but never mind.
Laura: So two of them are sitting paired up.
Laura: Then the other three that are solo each have one hydrogen.
Laura: Yeah, hydrogen with one electron in that pair.
Laura: So it's showing how one nitrogen has three hydrogens sitting on it.
Laura: Another way you can look at it is basically the same drawing, but without the circles.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So these are called dot and cross diagrams, and they're really common way to show this kind of sort of atomic detail.
Ron: You never show the inner rings when you're doing this kind of stuff because they just don't matter because they'll never be involved in a reaction.
Laura: Okay, right.
Laura: Good.
Laura: To know.
Laura: Other ways to do it is just an end with a line going out in three directions and an H at the end of each of those three lines.
Ron: That's a really common way to draw a molecule because each line represents a covalent bond.
Ron: Atoms can form two bonds or even three bonds between each other sometimes.
Ron: So then you would just have two or three lines in between them.
Laura: Oh.
Laura: So more than one electron could hook up from two atoms could touch each other, and two electrons off each of the atoms could also bond.
Laura: So they're, like, double bonded.
Ron: Yeah, I think we talked about this.
Ron: So oxygen two that is two oxygens that are double bonded together because they've both got two single sad boys in their outer ring, so they do that.
Ron: And nitrogen is N two when it's just a gas.
Ron: And that is two nitrogens triple bonded together.
Ron: So nitrogen makes up, like, 80% of the air that we breathe, but it's a super safe inert gas because it's got these triple bonds in it.
Ron: So it doesn't react with anything because you'd have to break those bonds to react it to something.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: And I think it's that reason as well, which is why nitrogen is to do with chemical bonds, like explosives work.
Ron: So I think in TNT, which is like try nitro toluene the trinitro, I think is something to do that's like triple bonds and then when you explode it, you're breaking all of these bonds and it's releasing all of that energy, criking poor nitrogen.
Laura: We still don't like the Hulk, like just wants to be placid and calm, but people know that it's a good source, so they rile it up.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Do you want to carry on your description of the well, the other one.
Laura: Is just stupid because it's just a big circle with some little circles around the outside point.
Ron: So that one is a picture of an atomic, like, atom kit.
Ron: So in science classes and stuff in schools, you quite often build molecular models of things out of little atoms and stuff.
Laura: It doesn't tell you what they are.
Laura: So I don't find that one very helpful.
Ron: No.
Ron: I don't know why they've drawn that, to be honest.
Laura: And then it says polymers can be represented in the form and they've done two C's connected to each other carbon with two H's coming off each carbon, two arms with nothing on, and the whole thing is in a bracket and then a tiny end.
Laura: I don't know what that means.
Ron: So this is what we were talking about just now, where I was saying, like a chlorine would be the end of chain or something.
Ron: Hydrogen is the same as the end of the chain, whereas the carbons, because they can make four bonds, polyethine what that is describing there, that carbon chain could be hundreds of carbons long.
Ron: So rather than drawing that out, because that would take ages, you can put a bracket around the individual bit of the polymer that repeats.
Laura: Oh, it's repeating.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So you put a bracket means it repeats to that.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: It repeats n number of times.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Got you.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then you can form huge structures from these molecules.
Ron: And then so these are molecules this is essentially what I studied at university for three years, is just different molecules reacting with each other.
Laura: Important.
Ron: The other thing that I thought would be worth mentioning here is carbon makes carbon can form these four bonds.
Ron: So that is why diamond is the hardest material that we know, because it is just carbon making four bonds to four other carbons, make four bonds to four other carbons, and so on and so on and so on.
Laura: Why does that make it hard?
Ron: Because there's lots of bonds in there and I think the particular shape is very sturdy.
Laura: All right.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Because if you had even some oxygen or nitrogen or something else in there, each one of those atoms is only going to be able to form one or two or three bonds.
Ron: So then there's fewer bonds.
Ron: Whereas if you have carbon, it's four bonds every single time.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Ron yes.
Laura: I started thinking about how you could then man make diamonds, and then I think those do exist, but people find them to be slightly less valuable because they're man made, which is so stupid.
Ron: It is stupid.
Ron: But then the whole diamond economy is bullshit anyway.
Ron: They're not worth anything.
Laura: But they are pretty.
Ron: They are, but if the beers just let them all go, everyone could just have one.
Laura: Yeah, join a union.
Ron: Join a union.
Ron: Diamond union.
Laura: All right, so we better get onto metallic bonds because we're going to run out of time.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Let's get on to metallic bonds.
Ron: Although I do feel like this one's going to s*** on our chips the most.
Laura: I don't want to show off, but I'm onto my second page of notes.
Laura: Metallic bonds.
Ron: I have sent figure C to you.
Laura: Don't look at it.
Ron: Right.
Laura: So did you say don't look at it yet?
Ron: Don't look at it just yet.
Ron: I'm going to explain what it is first.
Laura: That is complicated.
Ron: So metals, we remember, are defined as elements that form positive ions.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So these are all elements that are losing their electrons to become these ions.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yup.
Ron: When metals form a metal I metallically bond to each other, what they do is they it's called delocalized.
Ron: They de localise their outer ring of electrons and essentially share them.
Ron: So it's kind of like they crowdsource their outer electrons thoughts next week.
Laura: So stupid when it's like, hey, these electrons behave this way, and so this happens.
Laura: Whoopsie.
Laura: Not if they're fallen off this tree.
Laura: In this case, they put them all in a bucket and share them.
Laura: Why?
Laura: What the f***?
Laura: So how are you supposed to remember anything about electrons if they just behave differently?
Ron: Because just remember that this is what a metallic bond is.
Laura: I can't just remember that.
Laura: Ron, I need to know a reasonable okay, so metal I put something in my notes.
Ron: It's kind of like a reverse plum pudding.
Laura: No, I've forgotten what plum pudding is now.
Laura: That happened too long ago.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: They have a mosh pit, and they put it all in a pot.
Ron: What about this?
Ron: Okay, this might help you remember it because you know how obviously electricity can flow through metals?
Ron: All of the metal atoms delocalize their outer electrons, and then it is those electrons available in the metal that form an electric current when you what does that mean?
Laura: Delocalize it?
Laura: Where do they go?
Ron: Like I said, it's kind of like a reverse plum pudding.
Ron: So if there's no current being applied, the electrons are just kind of bimbling about around the atoms or around the nuclei in between them, all getting shared by all of them, satisfying all of their needs.
Ron: So if I can reverse plum pudding.
Laura: Then if you apply reverse plan pudding, what does that mean?
Ron: But it's not my fault that nothing stays in your brain.
Laura: Pudding.
Ron: You remember the plump pudding?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It was protons embedded in a negative mass.
Ron: Right.
Ron: That's what they thought it was.
Laura: Was it?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: No.
Ron: Was it electrons embedded I can't remember.
Laura: This one's too difficult.
Ron: No.
Ron: You're just giving up because you're tired.
Laura: I am tired.
Ron: It's less complicated than covalent bonds.
Laura: It's not, because I don't.
Ron: Well, it's just like think about it like magnets again.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Metals are socialists.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They crowdsource their electrons, they share them all around.
Laura: Nobody knows where they put them or how this works.
Laura: Just repeat that back.
Laura: That is cool.
Ron: But you see how that might give metals the properties that, you know, they have?
Ron: Like the fact that they're conductive and stuff?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: You're on Twitter again.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Well, that's it.
Ron: We can stop.
Laura: F****** great.
Laura: That really annoys me, that last I.
Ron: Thought we were doing so well when we were doing the covalent bonds.
Laura: Yeah, the covalent bonds make sense.
Laura: Let's just say that they're all that one.
Ron: Yeah, they do make sense.
Ron: And that's why I like molecules.
Ron: That's why molecular biology is fun.
Laura: Wait, I thought this was chemistry.
Ron: It is, but we talk about molecules and I study molecular biology.
Laura: Remember, it's kind of molecules in biology as well.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Proteins are molecules, fats are molecules.
Ron: Sugars and molecules.
Laura: Right.
Laura: Stop it.
Laura: Stop it.
Laura: Let's go to the quiz.
Laura: Shut up, Ron.
Laura: Shut up.
Laura: Goodbye.
Laura: I'll see you next week.
Laura: To the quiz.
Laura: Quiz in real life, after just 20 seconds of music.
Laura: Goodbye, everyone.
Ron: Quiz, quiz, quiz.
Laura: It's quiz in time.
Ron: Hooray.
Ron: Are you ready for the quiz?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Do you remember anything about what we did last time?
Ron: I couldn't really.
Laura: Yeah, it was bond we were doing, and looking at my notes, I remember saying I wanted to make better notes, and it seems to have started really well and then by the end just dissipated into absolute nonsense, because my last two notes are just metals of socialists, reverse plum pudding.
Laura: And that's all I've written.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: That tracks, to be honest, from what I remember.
Laura: But it started out I'd written down so much stuff.
Laura: Run.
Laura: So as long as you're asking me questions about the start, I'm going to nail this.
Ron: Well, it's going to be a mix, I'm afraid.
Ron: You ready?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Okay, which two types of elements form ionic bonds with each other?
Laura: Laura, I've actually written this down.
Laura: A non metal and a metal combined to make an ionic bond.
Ron: That's a mark for you.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Okay, question number two.
Ron: Can you briefly describe why diamond is such a strong structure?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Three marks on offer here.
Laura: It's because carbon has four single electrons in its outer force field, which gives it four possible other bonds it can make.
Laura: So, in a diamond, each carbon is bonded four times to another carbon.
Laura: And so all the bonds are really strong and everything's really stuck together.
Laura: All the electrons are bonded and it's all like a very tidy structure.
Laura: A lattice?
Ron: Not a lattice.
Ron: Now, I'll give you all three marks if you answer this sub question correctly.
Ron: Covalent bonds, on the scale of bonds, are they strong or weak?
Ron: Factoring in that diamonds are the strongest thing ever.
Laura: And would we describe a diamond as being exemplary of a covalent bond?
Ron: Well, you tell me.
Laura: What I'm talking about.
Laura: Yes, because I've written down about bus seats and I remember that.
Laura: So this is covalent bonds.
Laura: So I think covalent bonds are the strongest ones because what's bigger than a bus?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Ding, ding, ding.
Ron: So that's all three marks.
Ron: So covalent bonds are the strongest type of bond.
Ron: So that's the mark.
Ron: There are four of them between each carbon.
Ron: And then the last bit, the shape that they form, is called a tetrahedron.
Ron: You didn't use that word, I don't think.
Ron: I used it last time.
Ron: But that is a strong shape as well.
Laura: Strong shape.
Laura: None of this Nambi pandy circle nonsense.
Ron: So question three hey, circle and circus.
Laura: Is that because it's a ring?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Question three wait till you find out about circuits.
Ron: How does metallic bonding work?
Ron: Laura, don't just say socialism.
Laura: So I didn't remember this one.
Laura: I don't understand this one as much as the others, but it's something to do with that.
Laura: They just sort of freelance each other's electrons.
Laura: They get near each other, these atoms, and the electrons just sort of pull together and everybody can just use what they need.
Laura: So they're a bit crossed over.
Ron: I'll give that to you.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So the electrons in the outer ring dissociate from the outer they first came with.
Ron: Think about it less in terms of socialism or freelancing.
Ron: Think about it more like the electrons become sort of the cement and then the atoms are the bricks in it because the electrons are just kind of all in around them, holding them together.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That didn't help, did it?
Laura: No.
Laura: I've been thinking about atoms this week, though.
Ron: Yeah?
Laura: When I'm dirty, if I've got dirt on me, is that atoms joining together or is that just how do things stick to each other?
Laura: If it's not atom sticking, is that just being stuck to something or is that an atom bonding?
Ron: That's a good question.
Ron: I think it'll mix.
Ron: Like, there will be some things that will form atomic bonds with stuff in your skin, but then also some stuff.
Ron: It will just be, like, smeared on the crevices.
Ron: Okay, but I don't want you to come away from this thinking that there are dirt atoms.
Ron: Dirt isn't an element, but it kind of is.
Laura: What is soil.
Ron: Will be a mix of mostly organic molecules and then some metals and other ions and stuff.
Laura: What do you mean, an organic molecule?
Ron: No, an organic molecule is basically anything with carbon based around it.
Laura: Carbon based life form.
Laura: I've heard that phrase exactly.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's why we call organic chemistry and stuff like that, because it's based around carbon.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Question number four.
Laura: Maybe that could be my thesis on what is dirt.
Ron: It'll be the Patreon show.
Ron: Are you ready for question number four?
Laura: I thought we're done.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: What compounds are made through isotopeic bonding.
Laura: What's a compound?
Ron: A compound is when two elements join together.
Ron: So, like, a molecule is a compound?
Laura: This is a trick question.
Laura: That type of bond doesn't exist.
Ron: It is a trick question.
Laura: Is it?
Laura: This is the greatest day of my life.
Laura: Because an isotope is about how heavy it is.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: You're learning.
Laura: Making notes helped, Ron.
Ron: It does, doesn't it?
Laura: Did you just say I do move in herds?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Why?
Ron: It's a Jurassic Park reference.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: I'm so happy.
Laura: I don't even know what to say now.
Laura: I can't even carry on with the podcast.
Ron: Yeah, you based it there.
Ron: That was four marks out of 123-4566 marks.
Laura: Amazing.
Laura: Best day of 2022 so far.
Laura: It's amazing how much Jurassic Park comes up in this podcast.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: It's a film that I like and I've seen a good few times, but I wouldn't really call it it's not really part of my cultural touchstones.
Laura: Definitely something you bring up, though, because it's not me bringing it up.
Ron: I do think about it all the time.
Laura: It's not one of my cultural touchstones.
Laura: I just think about it constantly.
Ron: I think about Jurassic Park all the time.
Ron: I think about family all a lot.
Laura: I saw him on Twitter earlier.
Laura: He's on a yacht today.
Ron: Oh, that's nice for him.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: He was good in Peakybinders peaky Blinders.
Laura: I've never seen that.
Laura: It looked a bit violent for me.
Laura: Yeah, you wouldn't like it.
Ron: Funky men, though.
Laura: Not that killian Murphy guy, though.
Laura: He freaks me out a little bit.
Laura: Now, I don't want to be disparaging about where people look, but, you know, sometimes somebody is seen as super handsome, but they just give you the chills.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: This is how I feel about Kellyanne Murphy and Chris Pine.
Laura: I honestly think Chris Pine is one of the scariest looking dudes on planet Earth.
Laura: And it was like, look at meat cream and parties.
Laura: And I'm like, no, run away.
Laura: He looks like he is going to eat you.
Laura: I'm scared of him.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I think Hollywood handsome sometimes can be very striking, which I guess is divisive.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: But they're striking and then they're striking you and I feel like you're fine, which is beat me to death.
Ron: Because the Killer Murphy thing, especially in Peaky Blinders, is a very violent show.
Ron: I could see that Chris Pine looks like a nice man.
Laura: No, he doesn't.
Laura: He doesn't, Ron.
Laura: He's tricked you into thinking he looks like a nice man.
Ron: No, but you'd fancy Kelly Murphy's brother in the show.
Ron: Fred.
Laura: Fred Murphy.
Laura: All right, yeah.
Laura: Is he a bit hairier and softer looking?
Ron: Yeah, he's got a moustache.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I don't really like an angular, ice cold looking person.
Laura: I need them to look like they'll go, don't worry, Laura, you'll be okay.
Laura: And then just ruffle my hair a bit.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Anyway, we haven't done this in a while.
Ron: Can you tell?
Laura: Thanks, Alicia.
Laura: Science podcast about Chris Pine.
Laura: And Gilliam Murphy.
Laura: Hey.
Laura: Ronald and I have had a chat this week and we have had to think about most seriously looking into merch that will try and get it ready for Christmas.
Laura: So, probably putting in an order this week.
Laura: We're thinking we're going to start very small in terms of numbers and what to do.
Laura: And we've been looking at what you guys have been interested in, but say we put out a few Tide protection helmet baseball caps and maybe if there was an option for that hat and a T shirt with don't just say stuff on it.
Ron: There's been lots of calls for down merch.
Laura: Down merch would be good.
Ron: Baseball cap that just said down in lower caps.
Laura: We could go that way.
Laura: Yeah, those are the sort of two, maybe three options that we're thinking about.
Laura: Obviously, we'd love to make a whole range and get everybody what they want, but we're not quite at a point with the listenership where we can invest in that and know that it's all going to sell.
Laura: And I say this as somebody with a lot of national treasures, podcast merchandise currently under Hudson's desk.
Ron: All of the money that we've made from the podcast, we have invested directly back in, which is to say zero.
Laura: So, yeah, I mean, to be fair, there's no way we can make money from the podcast yet, because we haven't actually asked for any money in any way.
Ron: Yeah, but someone should have given us some by now.
Laura: Just posted us a fine.
Ron: Thanks.
Laura: Yeah, thanks is 50 p.
Laura: Just fling it out next time you see us.
Laura: So we will be starting small, if that's of vague interest to you.
Laura: If you could just wave a hand us somehow, some way, give us a nod that a reasonably priced T shirt and or hat would be of interest to you, then we'll know how many numbers to order because we are going to keep it small.
Laura: So then if nobody says they want them, there will literally be ten.
Laura: So we don't want people to not be able to get them if they want them.
Laura: But equally, I don't want to be wearing down hats and pyjamas for the rest of my life, because that's all that's in my house, so let us know.
Laura: And also, if you are listening and you think, oh, I love merch tshirts.
Laura: But they're always baggy ones built for the male form.
Laura: There will be a Vneck version of the T shirt because I'm so sick of having merch that is unflattering.
Ron: And I support this.
Laura: So there we go.
Laura: Listen, we love you.
Laura: We'll see you next week for physics.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Again, so it's been a while.
Laura: It's been a while.
Ron: It's my turn.
Ron: Catchphrase.
Laura: Catchphrase.
Ron: Say what you're saying.
Ron: Close this mess.
Ron: Hello, I'm Ron.
Laura: Hello, scientific child.
Ron: How's it going?
Laura: I'm good. How are you?
Ron: I'm good.
Laura: You're peppy. Are you peppy?
Ron: I am overtired, yeah. But no, I'm good. I'm getting a lot of love this week.
Laura: Yeah, people are being really nice to you on The Socials. We've got a real Team Ron situation growing team Ron.
Ron: Someone said I should be a teacher.
Laura: I don't think you should.
Ron: No, I don't think I should either.
Laura: I think you should be a small boy that lives in. *laughs* I make myself laugh. So, welcome to this week's episode, Ron. First things first. I'm the realist. There's been a lot of chat, mainly from me, about, you should sing The Venga Bus.
Ron: I don't know it. That was the whole point of the chat and I haven't listened to it.
Laura: Well, look, get the lyrics up. Stop squelching about and knows. Why are you taking off your headphones? Where are you going? He's wandering away. Where are you going Oh, he's got a guitar. Yes! Let's have the John Lewis advert version of the Venga bus.
*Ron plays the VengaBus on accoustic guitar* It’s beautiful.
Laura: All right, so if anybody needs a new ringtone, let us know and we will make that available for download.
Laura: He's so young.
Laura: We've had some good chat this week on The Socials about your favourite podcast.
Laura: Producers on podcasts, a lot of love for lots of different producers.
Laura: And we like to see it because the hosts, they get stuff, but the producers are the ones that go and do the editing.
Laura: Obviously, if you're a magical podcast like ours, the hosts and the producers are the same person.
Laura: So that's fun, isn't it?
Ron: What we've done is we found two different ways to praise ourselves.
Laura: Yeah, we're the best.
Laura: We're the best.
Laura: But this week, Ron, we actually do have a producer on the episode producer Nephew.
Laura: Producer Nephew makes his first appearance.
Laura: He is Producer Nephew because he first appeared on an episode of my other podcast, the National Treasures podcast, when we went to Wookie Hall in Somerset and Producer Nephew came along and he features in the background shouting about the colour yellow.
Ron: In this episode, he is swell.
Laura: He's a delight.
Laura: He is my favourite human being that I'm talking about right now.
Laura: I like loads of human beings.
Laura: Anyway, also, over on Twitter, bailed on.
Ron: That, because unless we've got two other.
Laura: Nephews yeah, but there's absolutely no chance that they listen to this podcast.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Last night so, oldest Nephew, you know, he's reaching.
Laura: That sort of like, gangly, awkward teenage phase.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Last night I was gigging at a venue and the guy that was doing the sound and stuff, the backstage manager kind of person, was exactly oldest Nephew.
Laura: But growing up, it was so cute.
Laura: He was so, like, mannerisms phrases.
Laura: Also, in that.
Laura: Like, I'm tall and skinny, kind of oh, God.
Laura: He'll have no idea why I just grinned at him like a maniac all evening.
Laura: I love you so, yeah, lots of love for all of the producer nephews, but only featuring youngest nephews this week.
Laura: Joe on Twitter has made us aware.
Laura: Ron, you remember in last week's episode I was talking about Lock and Cay?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: There's a restaurant in Ireland called the Lock and Cay.
Ron: Yes, I saw that.
Laura: Maybe this could be a good place for the first official Lex education weekend away.
Ron: It's like that Irish, the lake.
Laura: I don't know, it's a whole new spelling.
Laura: It's L-O-U-G-H.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Maybe it's laugh loud losing key loft.
Laura: Don't know.
Laura: We'll get some clarity, please.
Laura: But hey, let's go on an excursion.
Ron: Let's take the Vanguard bus there.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Although we'd need a Venga boat or a venga plane.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Anyway, so enjoy this week's episode.
Laura: What are we doing?
Laura: We're doing bonds this week.
Laura: It's chemistry.
Laura: It's all about bonds means bond.
Laura: Have a good time.
Ron: Enjoy.
Laura: Hello, Ron.
Ron: Hello.
Laura: It's Monday.
Laura: Afternoon is like the perfect time to do some science.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: You're neglecting our other sister.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: I've got a surprise visit from nephew and sister.
Laura: She confused me so much.
Laura: She stepped in yesterday and she said, oh, we're out looking at a car.
Laura: It's in Plymouth and that's only an hour down the road from you.
Laura: Shall I pop round?
Laura: And I was like, Thomas is like 5 hours away from me.
Laura: What are you talking about?
Laura: She went, oh, Portsmouth.
Laura: They both start with a P and end in mouth.
Laura: I get them confused.
Ron: They're both east of Bristol.
Laura: Sure.
Laura: Like Portsmouth is only an hour away.
Laura: Yeah, come over.
Laura: So they've come to stay for a few days.
Laura: Impromptuary fun.
Laura: You very nearly had to teach both of us this science, but we thought that would be quite confusing for everybody involved.
Laura: I feel quite sad about last week's quiz, Ron.
Laura: And so I really want to make better notes today.
Laura: I'm going to work really hard today.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: How's it looking today?
Ron: Today, I think it's not easy stuff, but I think it's all going to make sense to you.
Ron: I don't think any of it is going to come out of nowhere.
Ron: And also I think we've laid in previous chemistry, I think we've laid quite a lot of groundwork for what we're doing today.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: And also the aim for today is that this episode is incredibly boring because I'm just going, yeah, that sounds great.
Ron: That's the dream.
Laura: Writing it down clearly and efficiently.
Ron: I think you're also going to enjoy this because I think this is going to answer some questions you have about the structure of things and why they happen.
Laura: And the moon.
Ron: Nothing to do with the moon.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I'm quite scared because you sent me a few images on WhatsApp that looked terrifying.
Laura: So I suppose.
Laura: Let's go, shall we?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: So today we are going to be looking at different types of chemical bonds.
Laura: Hey, do you reckon you'd say class missed?
Laura: Because if you say dismissed, it means you go, but when you start, you should just say class missed.
Laura: Or is it like a mast?
Laura: Is it a mast?
Laura: Is dismissed and amassed.
Ron: Hang on, sorry.
Ron: What was the aim of today?
Ron: What was the dream?
Ron: God, what were you talking about?
Ron: I really lost where I was.
Laura: Well, we hadn't started yet, so that's okay.
Laura: I was just thinking at the end, you always say class dismissed, and so how do we say that at the beginning class aspmist.
Ron: Class asmist I think that's it.
Laura: I was trying to work out what the nondismissed so if you're not dismissed, you're just missed, aren't you?
Ron: So you admiss, I think, admissions, yes.
Laura: Class admissed.
Laura: Admitted.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You don't admit something, do you?
Ron: Well, asmus classmates right, so we're doing chemical bonds.
Laura: That really got stuck in your head.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: She's being very needy because I didn't look after her for 2 hours.
Ron: She was asleep in a different room, completely fine.
Ron: Stop looking at her b*** hole.
Ron: I can see.
Laura: I can't see her.
Laura: She's off my screen.
Laura: Are there?
Ron: Right.
Laura: We haven't started yet, so don't worry.
Laura: Just go to the beginning of your notes and begin there.
Ron: So we're doing chemical bonds, the different ways that atoms can bond together.
Laura: Their name's Atom Bond.
Ron: Why did you do that?
Ron: In the voice of a New York gangster.
Laura: No, that was James Bond.
Ron: F****** was it Adam?
Ron: She Adam Bond.
Laura: Their name is Adam.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Laura: Hey, that could be a comic.
Laura: We could start.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Laura: Adam Bond.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: There's nothing there.
Ron: Right, so there are three types of chemical bonds.
Ron: How atoms bond together.
Ron: We've talked about one of them before.
Ron: Can you remember what it is or how it works?
Laura: What have we talked about before?
Ron: We actually talked about two of them.
Ron: Two types of chemical bonds that we've discussed.
Laura: Valent bond.
Ron: Yes, that's one of them.
Ron: Can you think of the other one?
Laura: Isotopes?
Ron: No, don't just say words.
Laura: No, Ron, I can't think of another one.
Ron: Ionic bonds is another one.
Laura: Ionic bonds.
Ron: So you know when your sodiums and your chlorides and you are not all there react together, that's another one.
Ron: And then the third one is metallic bonds.
Ron: So the special type of way that metal atoms bond together when they form a metal.
Laura: If somebody hadn't made good notes in previous episodes and had no idea what a covalent or ionic bond was, how would you summarise that?
Ron: Well, don't worry, because.
Laura: This cat is really ruining this episode and it's nothing to do with me.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So we're going to go through all three types again because to be honest.
Laura: Going to make good notes with a good pen.
Laura: Maybe I'll be learning this so much better if I bought loads of new stationery before we started, like, not just the notepad, which has actually not turned out to be that helpful and haven't written anything good in it.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I've got a good pen now from Pavilion Diamond Limited in Brighton.
Laura: Free advertising for them.
Ron: Lovely.
Ron: So we're going to do ionic bonds first.
Laura: Ionic bond?
Ron: Ionic bond.
Laura: Here ironic bonds.
Laura: These are the bonds that you get when you have 10,000 spoons, but all you need is a plate.
Ron: Nice.
Ron: So ionic bonds occur when you have a non metal and a metal combined.
Laura: A non metal and a metal.
Laura: And we need to remember that things you would never think were metals are metals.
Ron: Like what?
Laura: Bananas and stuff?
Laura: Potassium.
Ron: Potassium, yeah.
Ron: That's because do you remember our definition of what a metal is?
Ron: Is anything that forms a positive ion.
Laura: I didn't remember that at all.
Ron: Maybe write that one down.
Laura: A metal.
Laura: And what was an ion again?
Ron: I'm not telling you that one.
Ron: You should f****** move that button.
Laura: Hold on.
Laura: Is there anything that makes a positive.
Ron: Eye on yeah, work it out from months of context.
Laura: Is that when they have different numbers of neutrons?
Ron: No, that's an isotope.
Laura: That's a really similar word.
Ron: No, just let's begin with an I.
Laura: And have an O in it.
Laura: Ions is only hang on.
Laura: An iron needs electricity.
Laura: So it's about losing an electron or gaining an electricity or gaining an electron.
Ron: And therefore it will be charged.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: And a metal is an element that forms a positive ion.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: E, g, sodium plus.
Laura: I've written all of this down, Ron.
Ron: Brilliant.
Ron: If they're forming a positive iron, have they gained or lost an electron?
Laura: Lost.
Laura: Because the electrons are sad boys.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: And nonmetals are elements that form negative ions.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: So you can see why an ionic bond would occur, because the metal is going to form a positive ion by losing its electron, giving it to the nonmetal, it's going to form a negative ion.
Ron: And then because of the electromagnetic charges, they're going to be attracted together.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Active listening.
Laura: So hang on, let me tell the story now.
Laura: Can you hear producer nephew?
Ron: Yes, I can.
Laura: He's just shouting about downstairs.
Laura: So I'm a little sodium short and stout, and I'm wandering around, and I lose an electron to a chlorine.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Really depends on what you're about to say now and as to whether that's right or not.
Laura: I become positive because the sad boy wandered off and my party is better, and the chlorine becomes negative because they now have more sad boys than DJ's.
Laura: And then because I'm good and they're bad, we together via magnets, and we're an ionic bond now.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So when we've talked about your sodium chlorides and whatnot in the past, we're usually talking about them in solution dissolved in water.
Ron: So in that they aren't forming an ionic bond together because they're not bonded together, they're both dissolved.
Ron: They're both wet, covered in water.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: No.
Laura: Why does that make it any different?
Ron: Because they're dissolved.
Ron: So the ions are sort of free.
Laura: Where are they then?
Ron: In the water, freely floating around.
Laura: They're inside hydrogens and oxygens?
Ron: No, when things are dissolved, they sort of loosely bond with other things in there, but let's not go into that.
Laura: Feels like you're the one making us go into it.
Ron: No, I was just saying that when they're dissolved in water, they're freely floating around in the water.
Laura: I don't understand what dissolving is now.
Laura: Dissolving is like going into another world.
Laura: Dissolving is like going in a spaceship, Ron.
Laura: No, it's because you're here, but you're not here.
Laura: You're dissolved.
Laura: Where are you?
Laura: It's they're behaving differently.
Laura: Well, I'm in a swimming pool.
Laura: I'm the same.
Ron: No, you're not.
Laura: I am.
Ron: No, you're not.
Laura: What's different about me?
Ron: You do different things.
Ron: You react differently.
Ron: You don't, like, sit around on Twitter playing overcooked or chatting if my phone is fine.
Ron: But it's not.
Ron: So you do different things.
Laura: Yeah, but I'm still there and the.
Ron: Sodium and the chloride are still there.
Laura: But they're doing different things.
Ron: But you're doing different things.
Ron: You're f****** swimming if you're in a swimming pool.
Ron: How about that?
Laura: But I don't suddenly go, whoa, one of my toes is pinged off and stuck to another guy.
Ron: No, I didn't think this was going to be the bit we fell down.
Laura: All right, so they have these rules, but if you put them in a swimming pool, it doesn't happen.
Ron: They're attracted together, but when they're dissolved in water, they're in solutions.
Ron: There's other things that could kind of make up the charge between them.
Ron: So then they're kind of freely floating around.
Laura: I'm so confused about what even water is now.
Ron: Water is just h.
Ron: Two o.
Laura: How does it become water?
Ron: It just is water.
Ron: Water is a molecule and it's just.
Laura: There in the air and then it's not going to break.
Ron: The whole thing that I wanted to say is that usually we're talking about these things in solution, so they're not forming an ionic bond together because they're dissolved in water.
Ron: But things like table salt.
Laura: Yeah, I just licked my pen and past.
Ron: Yeah, things like table salt, that sodium chloride.
Ron: That is all ionic bonded together.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: When they're dissolved, then they're just near each other.
Laura: They're not stuck together.
Ron: When we write down something like the reaction of sodium reacting with chlorine.
Laura: After.
Ron: They react, they will then f*** off and never see each other again.
Ron: When they're in solution, because they're all just moving around.
Laura: So they'd come and get an electron and then go away again.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So the whole thing is like billions upon billions upon billions of particles all flying around, bumping into each other.
Laura: When you see that reaction, I'm just in there swimming.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: When that reaction happens, because I know in your brain, you think inherently.
Ron: That the sodium that reacted with that chlorine.
Ron: They're going to be physics mates somehow.
Ron: They're not.
Laura: No, I understand this now.
Laura: That makes sense now that it takes the electron and goes away.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Because it is happening on such a scale that we cannot imagine.
Laura: So we're not making sodium chloride in solution.
Laura: They're becoming ions, but they're not forming bonds.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: And we would call it sodium chloride iNSolution, because if you were to remove all of the water, it would form sodium chloride.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: They'd all huddle together.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then they'd make it.
Ron: But in solution it's not they just.
Laura: Spread out more because of chaos theory.
Ron: Yes, exactly.
Ron: They diffuse around.
Laura: All right, that makes sense now.
Laura: I understand.
Laura: It's not sorry, we came on a wiggly path.
Ron: Have you ever felt like this?
Laura: Strange things happen.
Laura: Are you going round the twist?
Ron: Have you ever let ever felt salty water completely dry up?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: And you've seen that forms like little square crystals.
Laura: Never noticed they were square.
Laura: I know.
Laura: It leaves like a white tide mark.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I guess if you had more salt, you'd start seeing the square crystals.
Ron: Well, I think you might have seen even, like, fancy rock salt, that's kind of square.
Laura: Oh, yeah, I know what you mean.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You told me that I was weird about salt, though.
Ron: Did I?
Laura: Yeah, because I have, like, three different types of salt in the coverage and you said I was weird about it.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Not because you have three types of salt.
Ron: You're just being weird about it.
Laura: I wasn't.
Laura: I just use them for different things.
Ron: Yeah, it's not about how you use them or what you do, it's just you were being weird about them.
Laura: I didn't think I was.
Laura: I think you set it up for nothing.
Ron: Can you take a look at figure A that I sent you, please?
Laura: What?
Laura: This is a naked photo of a person.
Laura: What that's not really fig A.
Laura: Oh, my goodness.
Laura: Right, so I'm looking at here on the left there's.
Laura: I can hear an ice cream van.
Laura: Can you?
Laura: I'd love an ice cream right now instead of science.
Ron: I'd love one too.
Laura: Well, you shouldn't have moved to stupid Brussels.
Ron: Yeah, they don't have ice cream here because of the EU.
Laura: Stupid EU.
Laura: On the left is some big pale grey circles and some small dark grey circles, and they are all sort of stuck together on sticks into a sort of rigid box frame of alternating.
Laura: So a pale grey, big circle connects to three dark grey circles, and then they go out to each connect.
Laura: We'll put it on the instagram, but that's basically what I'm looking at there.
Laura: Then on the other side, the same circles, but inverted colours, the big now, dark grey circles have negative signs on them, and the small, positive light grey ones have plus signs on them.
Laura: And the key is that small and grey means nah.
Laura: Plus and big and light grey means negative.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: It's very interesting that they've decided to invert the colours for those two diagrams, isn't it?
Laura: That is mind numbingly confusing.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's really needlessly s***, to be honest.
Ron: Basically, these are just two different ways of doing a diagram of what is called a crystal lattice structure, which is what ionic compounds form.
Ron: When they are in solid, they go in square, which is why then salt is cuboid.
Ron: It's how crystals form is, because their crystal lattices, on an atomic scale, form shapes like this, which is then why crystals will have geometric shapes.
Laura: And whatnot it feels bonkers to me that things naturally would make a straight line.
Ron: But, I mean, don't forget, they don't actually have the lines going between them.
Laura: But they've lined up.
Ron: Yeah, they've lined up.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Is there window?
Ron: The other thing that is important to understand is what are we talking about now?
Laura: Are we still talking about ionic?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: You know that N A is sodium, right?
Laura: I do know.
Ron: CL is chlorine.
Ron: We're looking at crystal Latin structures of ionic compounds.
Laura: Yeah, I don't know, Figura.
Laura: We're still on ionic bonds.
Ron: Yeah, because we're still focused.
Laura: I am focused.
Ron: The other thing to consider is in the same way that after the reaction happens in solution, the atoms wait, I.
Laura: Thought we weren't in solution anymore.
Ron: Don't interrupt me.
Ron: Halfway through a system, I'm about to explain it, especially when I started in the same way as clearly going to be followed by something else.
Laura: Can you say again in a different tone?
Laura: Then I'm finding it hard to listen to you.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: This ice cream man is taunting me.
Ron: In the same way that when you react their sodium and the chlorine in solution, the atoms are then not inherently friends.
Ron: When they're in a crystal lattice structure, it will be the same ratio of one sodium reacting with one chlorine.
Ron: But it is not just those two bonded together, because it's all just magnets.
Ron: So the magnetic force will go in all directions.
Ron: So they are just all kind of watched together, which is why they then form this structure, because they sort of land in a structure where they are all just equally bonded to each other in all directions.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I understood the magnets going in all directions.
Laura: I didn't understand what you meant about other things are in there.
Laura: So it's not NaCl.
Laura: It's just a pile?
Ron: It's a pile of NaCl.
Ron: It's a pile of sodium ions that are positively charged and chloride ions that are negatively charged, but nothing else.
Laura: There's no other guys?
Laura: There's no titanium or anything in there?
Ron: No, not if we're talking about pure salt.
Laura: How do they know that they're going to just get those guys?
Ron: What do you mean?
Laura: No?
Laura: I know the mistake I've made.
Laura: Don't worry.
Ron: So this is just one of those things where we're obviously just talking about this in kind of a pure theoretical sense when there's obviously going to be impurities in your table salt and there will be other bits and pieces and messes in there.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: And they don't obviously know anything because they're atoms and they're not friends, but they can you stop it?
Laura: Stop saying they're not friends.
Ron: Because you understand that's a concept or because that makes you sad?
Laura: Because I feel like you're being mean in a really shady way.
Laura: Being like, can you learn this?
Laura: Only in the way I say, where it just makes sense to me that they're bodies.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: This is just a friendship group pyramid, basically.
Laura: You're in a big group of friends.
Laura: You're not super close to everybody in that big group.
Laura: You're probably super close to three people and then they're super close to three people.
Laura: And that's how friendship group forms.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Delicious, salty friendship group.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: So that's kind of ionic bonds.
Ron: Any questions on that before we move on?
Laura: No.
Laura: I stopped making notes again.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: There's three things that students should be able to do after this.
Ron: All right.
Laura: And I am a dent of stew.
Ron: One of them is the juice that a compound is ionic from a diagram of its structure in one of the specified forms.
Ron: If it's a lattice, it's an ion structure.
Ron: Apart from certain if it's a lattice.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Crystal lattice.
Ron: Remember that?
Laura: I stopped listening, actually, and looked at Twitter while you were talking.
Laura: Can you say that again?
Ron: No.
Ron: What do you need me to say again?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Oh, p*** off.
Laura: Just for tiny minute.
Laura: Just from when I said I stopped making notes.
Laura: Can you go from there?
Ron: What I just mentioned was before then, the crystal lattice structure.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: What do you say lattice for, though?
Laura: Like a cube?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: But it would be huge.
Ron: Like, this is just an example of a small section of what an assault crystal would be.
Ron: Assault crystal would actually be billions of this.
Ron: That's just showing the structure of it.
Laura: Why are you saying a lattice?
Ron: Because it's a lattice.
Laura: I thought a lattice was like a potato.
Ron: No, this is a lattice.
Ron: That's why I keep f****** saying it.
Laura: I thought lattice was like a big hashtag.
Ron: Look at it.
Laura: Look at what?
Laura: I know what I'm looking at.
Ron: Look at it.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: It looks like a square.
Laura: Big square.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: A bit like a hashtag.
Ron: It's the same f****** thing.
Laura: You're swearing a lot today.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So it's lots of lattice 3D.
Ron: Can be.
Laura: I didn't know I dribbled all that.
Ron: So you should be able to deduce that a compound is ionic.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So produce an fu again.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: He just shouted the word yellow and I'm not sure why, but he did.
Ron: So it will be because there'll be two different types of thing and they're going to form an evenly organised lattice structure like that.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: No, wait.
Laura: What?
Laura: I thought an ionic bond is on a nonmetal and a metal combined.
Ron: It is.
Laura: So why did you just say that it would be about a lattice?
Laura: So they will always make a lattice.
Ron: When they're in solid form?
Laura: Yeah, always make a lattice.
Laura: Unless they're in water, and then they won't make an ionic bond.
Ron: They won't be ionically bonded together, then?
Ron: No.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: That's all that we're going to go into there.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: I'm not sure you get it.
Ron: The ionic bonds are happening in between the positively charged and negatively charged ions that are in the crystal lattice.
Laura: Crystal lattice is fancy, isn't it?
Laura: Listen.
Laura: Yeah, sure.
Laura: A positive and a negative, and they like each other.
Laura: That's it, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah, but you see how it forms like this big macro structure when you get lots of them together?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Well, you can draw it any way you like, but I understand that if I see one in a square, I'll call a lattice, and I'll say that that's ionic, but I'm never going to see that in the wild, am I?
Ron: Well, you might in a GCSE exam and have to identify it.
Laura: All right.
Laura: If I see it in a square, I'll say that's a lattice.
Ron: I feel like you're remembering but not understanding.
Ron: But we're going to move on to.
Laura: The next do you know what else to understand, though?
Ron: Because you kept on saying, what is the lattice?
Ron: Why are we talking about that?
Laura: This is a flat thing, and I was looking at this box, and you were talking about a lattice, so I wasn't sure if I missed something.
Ron: Right, okay.
Laura: Now, I know that you call boxes lattices.
Ron: Goodness me.
Ron: Right.
Ron: We're going to move on to the next one, which is covalent bonds.
Laura: Really stupid today.
Laura: Covalent bonds.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I've written that down.
Ron: Perfect.
Ron: We've actually done covalent bonds before, but I should think you don't remember them.
Ron: So covalent bonds are the bonds that form when two nonmetals react together.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Two nonmetals make a covalent, and we.
Ron: Remember that electrons go around atoms in different shells or layers in the outer out of bit.
Ron: We remember that there are eight electrons right.
Ron: Of the bit of the period they're.
Laura: Going to be full.
Ron: So there are eight spaces for electrons.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So electrons like to be in pairs.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Because they are lonely.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: They like to be in pairs.
Ron: And obviously, if you are helium or krypton or radon or whatever, one of the noble gases, you have a lovely full ring of eight buddied up electrons.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Four pairs.
Ron: Four pairs of buddied up electrons.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Makes them very unreactive, very stable guys.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Noble.
Ron: So these electrons in the outer shell, they don't instantly start pairing up with each other.
Ron: Right.
Ron: So the first one comes in, obviously, that's going to be a lonely boy.
Ron: Second one comes in, does not form a pair with the first one.
Ron: You then have two unpaired electrons.
Laura: Why?
Ron: It's to do with the structure of the shells.
Ron: And there are actually different types of energy shells, like P shells and D shells and then F shells.
Ron: And it's to do with just how they fill up crikey.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Number one comes in, he's on his own.
Laura: Number two comes in.
Laura: No one else would want to come to the party if they started kissing immediately.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: And then that goes all the way to four.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: And then you have four lonely boys.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Oh, so they're not lonely, but it's like a bus.
Laura: Nobody goes and sits next to each other immediately on a bus.
Laura: You always take a double seat on your own.
Laura: And then when more people feel to run, they have to sit with the least weird looking person.
Ron: Yes, exactly right.
Ron: However, deep down, if those little electrons were being honest with themselves, they actually do want to be in a pair.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Weird cute story about electrons.
Laura: Couldn't you?
Ron: If you take a look at your periodic table, I'm just going to get one up as well.
Ron: But let's take carbon, for example.
Laura: Carbonzo, beans, senor carbonzo.
Ron: So carbon is the we need to.
Laura: Think like edit bits out there.
Laura: That is just wrong.
Laura: Leaving a pause and moving on.
Ron: Carbon, as you can see, can form four Covalent bonds because it's got four single electrons in it's outer shell.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: All happily on their journey, reading their books, no a** cheeks next to them.
Ron: Which is why carbon is the basis of all organic chemistry, because it can form the most different structures, essentially because it can form four different bonds.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So like halogens, your fluorines and your chlorines and whatnot.
Ron: So they're going to have seven electrons in their outer shell.
Ron: So that's going to work out to be six content little pairs and one guy on its own.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Who are the halogens, fluorine, chlorine, bromine, IDINE number seven.
Ron: Your number seven?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You've got one guy left over.
Laura: So they can only form one bond.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: So if you think about these things forming chains or structures, a halogen, a chlorine or a fluorine or something, you can only form one bond.
Ron: So that's going to be the end of whatever chain you put it in.
Laura: Because it can only form a carbon could link onto a fluorine, chlorine, bromine and an iodine.
Ron: Exactly.
Laura: And make some sort of crazy thing.
Ron: So these sort of shapes that you can build out of nonmetals Covalently bonded together, that is what a molecule is.
Laura: Right.
Laura: So a Covalent bond makes a molecule.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: So then could you take a look at figure B for me when you get a chance?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: It's got a yellow and black stripy b*** with a point on the end and wings and what's.
Laura: That a pesticide coming towards it.
Laura: Run.
Laura: Figure B.
Laura: Run, don't run.
Laura: You're actually a slow runner.
Laura: Fly.
Laura: Fly.
Laura: Fig.
Laura: Fly.
Laura: Figure B.
Laura: Welcome to Figurbies.
Laura: Today will be auction seven porcelain.
Laura: Dalmatia.
Ron: You've muted yourself.
Ron: You've somehow turned yourself off.
Ron: You unplugged your microphone.
Ron: It went like I can see your mouth moving.
Ron: I can't hear you.
Laura: Listener, you probably heard a little sting there.
Laura: What happened was I got so excited about what I was singing about that I just liked, touched my microphone and it stopped working.
Laura: We are back.
Ron: Right.
Ron: So take a look at fig B, please.
Laura: Fig B.
Laura: Right.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Fig B for the listener.
Laura: Figa B.
Laura: It's a good word, isn't it?
Ron: Nice.
Laura: Figaby.
Laura: Figurby for the listener has ammonia NH three.
Laura: And then this does make sense.
Laura: So you've got an ammonia sitting there, and two electrons are in a little pair.
Ron: So the crosses represent electrons from the nitrogen.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: So one nitrogen is sitting there.
Laura: Right.
Laura: And he's got five electrons in this outer ring.
Laura: They haven't drawn the inner ring, which is annoying, but never mind.
Laura: So two of them are sitting paired up.
Laura: Then the other three that are solo each have one hydrogen.
Laura: Yeah, hydrogen with one electron in that pair.
Laura: So it's showing how one nitrogen has three hydrogens sitting on it.
Laura: Another way you can look at it is basically the same drawing, but without the circles.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So these are called dot and cross diagrams, and they're really common way to show this kind of sort of atomic detail.
Ron: You never show the inner rings when you're doing this kind of stuff because they just don't matter because they'll never be involved in a reaction.
Laura: Okay, right.
Laura: Good.
Laura: To know.
Laura: Other ways to do it is just an end with a line going out in three directions and an H at the end of each of those three lines.
Ron: That's a really common way to draw a molecule because each line represents a covalent bond.
Ron: Atoms can form two bonds or even three bonds between each other sometimes.
Ron: So then you would just have two or three lines in between them.
Laura: Oh.
Laura: So more than one electron could hook up from two atoms could touch each other, and two electrons off each of the atoms could also bond.
Laura: So they're, like, double bonded.
Ron: Yeah, I think we talked about this.
Ron: So oxygen two that is two oxygens that are double bonded together because they've both got two single sad boys in their outer ring, so they do that.
Ron: And nitrogen is N two when it's just a gas.
Ron: And that is two nitrogens triple bonded together.
Ron: So nitrogen makes up, like, 80% of the air that we breathe, but it's a super safe inert gas because it's got these triple bonds in it.
Ron: So it doesn't react with anything because you'd have to break those bonds to react it to something.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: And I think it's that reason as well, which is why nitrogen is to do with chemical bonds, like explosives work.
Ron: So I think in TNT, which is like try nitro toluene the trinitro, I think is something to do that's like triple bonds and then when you explode it, you're breaking all of these bonds and it's releasing all of that energy, criking poor nitrogen.
Laura: We still don't like the Hulk, like just wants to be placid and calm, but people know that it's a good source, so they rile it up.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Do you want to carry on your description of the well, the other one.
Laura: Is just stupid because it's just a big circle with some little circles around the outside point.
Ron: So that one is a picture of an atomic, like, atom kit.
Ron: So in science classes and stuff in schools, you quite often build molecular models of things out of little atoms and stuff.
Laura: It doesn't tell you what they are.
Laura: So I don't find that one very helpful.
Ron: No.
Ron: I don't know why they've drawn that, to be honest.
Laura: And then it says polymers can be represented in the form and they've done two C's connected to each other carbon with two H's coming off each carbon, two arms with nothing on, and the whole thing is in a bracket and then a tiny end.
Laura: I don't know what that means.
Ron: So this is what we were talking about just now, where I was saying, like a chlorine would be the end of chain or something.
Ron: Hydrogen is the same as the end of the chain, whereas the carbons, because they can make four bonds, polyethine what that is describing there, that carbon chain could be hundreds of carbons long.
Ron: So rather than drawing that out, because that would take ages, you can put a bracket around the individual bit of the polymer that repeats.
Laura: Oh, it's repeating.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So you put a bracket means it repeats to that.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: It repeats n number of times.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Got you.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then you can form huge structures from these molecules.
Ron: And then so these are molecules this is essentially what I studied at university for three years, is just different molecules reacting with each other.
Laura: Important.
Ron: The other thing that I thought would be worth mentioning here is carbon makes carbon can form these four bonds.
Ron: So that is why diamond is the hardest material that we know, because it is just carbon making four bonds to four other carbons, make four bonds to four other carbons, and so on and so on and so on.
Laura: Why does that make it hard?
Ron: Because there's lots of bonds in there and I think the particular shape is very sturdy.
Laura: All right.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Because if you had even some oxygen or nitrogen or something else in there, each one of those atoms is only going to be able to form one or two or three bonds.
Ron: So then there's fewer bonds.
Ron: Whereas if you have carbon, it's four bonds every single time.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Ron yes.
Laura: I started thinking about how you could then man make diamonds, and then I think those do exist, but people find them to be slightly less valuable because they're man made, which is so stupid.
Ron: It is stupid.
Ron: But then the whole diamond economy is bullshit anyway.
Ron: They're not worth anything.
Laura: But they are pretty.
Ron: They are, but if the beers just let them all go, everyone could just have one.
Laura: Yeah, join a union.
Ron: Join a union.
Ron: Diamond union.
Laura: All right, so we better get onto metallic bonds because we're going to run out of time.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Let's get on to metallic bonds.
Ron: Although I do feel like this one's going to s*** on our chips the most.
Laura: I don't want to show off, but I'm onto my second page of notes.
Laura: Metallic bonds.
Ron: I have sent figure C to you.
Laura: Don't look at it.
Ron: Right.
Laura: So did you say don't look at it yet?
Ron: Don't look at it just yet.
Ron: I'm going to explain what it is first.
Laura: That is complicated.
Ron: So metals, we remember, are defined as elements that form positive ions.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So these are all elements that are losing their electrons to become these ions.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yup.
Ron: When metals form a metal I metallically bond to each other, what they do is they it's called delocalized.
Ron: They de localise their outer ring of electrons and essentially share them.
Ron: So it's kind of like they crowdsource their outer electrons thoughts next week.
Laura: So stupid when it's like, hey, these electrons behave this way, and so this happens.
Laura: Whoopsie.
Laura: Not if they're fallen off this tree.
Laura: In this case, they put them all in a bucket and share them.
Laura: Why?
Laura: What the f***?
Laura: So how are you supposed to remember anything about electrons if they just behave differently?
Ron: Because just remember that this is what a metallic bond is.
Laura: I can't just remember that.
Laura: Ron, I need to know a reasonable okay, so metal I put something in my notes.
Ron: It's kind of like a reverse plum pudding.
Laura: No, I've forgotten what plum pudding is now.
Laura: That happened too long ago.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: They have a mosh pit, and they put it all in a pot.
Ron: What about this?
Ron: Okay, this might help you remember it because you know how obviously electricity can flow through metals?
Ron: All of the metal atoms delocalize their outer electrons, and then it is those electrons available in the metal that form an electric current when you what does that mean?
Laura: Delocalize it?
Laura: Where do they go?
Ron: Like I said, it's kind of like a reverse plum pudding.
Ron: So if there's no current being applied, the electrons are just kind of bimbling about around the atoms or around the nuclei in between them, all getting shared by all of them, satisfying all of their needs.
Ron: So if I can reverse plum pudding.
Laura: Then if you apply reverse plan pudding, what does that mean?
Ron: But it's not my fault that nothing stays in your brain.
Laura: Pudding.
Ron: You remember the plump pudding?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It was protons embedded in a negative mass.
Ron: Right.
Ron: That's what they thought it was.
Laura: Was it?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: No.
Ron: Was it electrons embedded I can't remember.
Laura: This one's too difficult.
Ron: No.
Ron: You're just giving up because you're tired.
Laura: I am tired.
Ron: It's less complicated than covalent bonds.
Laura: It's not, because I don't.
Ron: Well, it's just like think about it like magnets again.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Metals are socialists.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They crowdsource their electrons, they share them all around.
Laura: Nobody knows where they put them or how this works.
Laura: Just repeat that back.
Laura: That is cool.
Ron: But you see how that might give metals the properties that, you know, they have?
Ron: Like the fact that they're conductive and stuff?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: You're on Twitter again.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Well, that's it.
Ron: We can stop.
Laura: F****** great.
Laura: That really annoys me, that last I.
Ron: Thought we were doing so well when we were doing the covalent bonds.
Laura: Yeah, the covalent bonds make sense.
Laura: Let's just say that they're all that one.
Ron: Yeah, they do make sense.
Ron: And that's why I like molecules.
Ron: That's why molecular biology is fun.
Laura: Wait, I thought this was chemistry.
Ron: It is, but we talk about molecules and I study molecular biology.
Laura: Remember, it's kind of molecules in biology as well.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Proteins are molecules, fats are molecules.
Ron: Sugars and molecules.
Laura: Right.
Laura: Stop it.
Laura: Stop it.
Laura: Let's go to the quiz.
Laura: Shut up, Ron.
Laura: Shut up.
Laura: Goodbye.
Laura: I'll see you next week.
Laura: To the quiz.
Laura: Quiz in real life, after just 20 seconds of music.
Laura: Goodbye, everyone.
Ron: Quiz, quiz, quiz.
Laura: It's quiz in time.
Ron: Hooray.
Ron: Are you ready for the quiz?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Do you remember anything about what we did last time?
Ron: I couldn't really.
Laura: Yeah, it was bond we were doing, and looking at my notes, I remember saying I wanted to make better notes, and it seems to have started really well and then by the end just dissipated into absolute nonsense, because my last two notes are just metals of socialists, reverse plum pudding.
Laura: And that's all I've written.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: That tracks, to be honest, from what I remember.
Laura: But it started out I'd written down so much stuff.
Laura: Run.
Laura: So as long as you're asking me questions about the start, I'm going to nail this.
Ron: Well, it's going to be a mix, I'm afraid.
Ron: You ready?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Okay, which two types of elements form ionic bonds with each other?
Laura: Laura, I've actually written this down.
Laura: A non metal and a metal combined to make an ionic bond.
Ron: That's a mark for you.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Okay, question number two.
Ron: Can you briefly describe why diamond is such a strong structure?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Three marks on offer here.
Laura: It's because carbon has four single electrons in its outer force field, which gives it four possible other bonds it can make.
Laura: So, in a diamond, each carbon is bonded four times to another carbon.
Laura: And so all the bonds are really strong and everything's really stuck together.
Laura: All the electrons are bonded and it's all like a very tidy structure.
Laura: A lattice?
Ron: Not a lattice.
Ron: Now, I'll give you all three marks if you answer this sub question correctly.
Ron: Covalent bonds, on the scale of bonds, are they strong or weak?
Ron: Factoring in that diamonds are the strongest thing ever.
Laura: And would we describe a diamond as being exemplary of a covalent bond?
Ron: Well, you tell me.
Laura: What I'm talking about.
Laura: Yes, because I've written down about bus seats and I remember that.
Laura: So this is covalent bonds.
Laura: So I think covalent bonds are the strongest ones because what's bigger than a bus?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Ding, ding, ding.
Ron: So that's all three marks.
Ron: So covalent bonds are the strongest type of bond.
Ron: So that's the mark.
Ron: There are four of them between each carbon.
Ron: And then the last bit, the shape that they form, is called a tetrahedron.
Ron: You didn't use that word, I don't think.
Ron: I used it last time.
Ron: But that is a strong shape as well.
Laura: Strong shape.
Laura: None of this Nambi pandy circle nonsense.
Ron: So question three hey, circle and circus.
Laura: Is that because it's a ring?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Question three wait till you find out about circuits.
Ron: How does metallic bonding work?
Ron: Laura, don't just say socialism.
Laura: So I didn't remember this one.
Laura: I don't understand this one as much as the others, but it's something to do with that.
Laura: They just sort of freelance each other's electrons.
Laura: They get near each other, these atoms, and the electrons just sort of pull together and everybody can just use what they need.
Laura: So they're a bit crossed over.
Ron: I'll give that to you.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So the electrons in the outer ring dissociate from the outer they first came with.
Ron: Think about it less in terms of socialism or freelancing.
Ron: Think about it more like the electrons become sort of the cement and then the atoms are the bricks in it because the electrons are just kind of all in around them, holding them together.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That didn't help, did it?
Laura: No.
Laura: I've been thinking about atoms this week, though.
Ron: Yeah?
Laura: When I'm dirty, if I've got dirt on me, is that atoms joining together or is that just how do things stick to each other?
Laura: If it's not atom sticking, is that just being stuck to something or is that an atom bonding?
Ron: That's a good question.
Ron: I think it'll mix.
Ron: Like, there will be some things that will form atomic bonds with stuff in your skin, but then also some stuff.
Ron: It will just be, like, smeared on the crevices.
Ron: Okay, but I don't want you to come away from this thinking that there are dirt atoms.
Ron: Dirt isn't an element, but it kind of is.
Laura: What is soil.
Ron: Will be a mix of mostly organic molecules and then some metals and other ions and stuff.
Laura: What do you mean, an organic molecule?
Ron: No, an organic molecule is basically anything with carbon based around it.
Laura: Carbon based life form.
Laura: I've heard that phrase exactly.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's why we call organic chemistry and stuff like that, because it's based around carbon.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Question number four.
Laura: Maybe that could be my thesis on what is dirt.
Ron: It'll be the Patreon show.
Ron: Are you ready for question number four?
Laura: I thought we're done.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: What compounds are made through isotopeic bonding.
Laura: What's a compound?
Ron: A compound is when two elements join together.
Ron: So, like, a molecule is a compound?
Laura: This is a trick question.
Laura: That type of bond doesn't exist.
Ron: It is a trick question.
Laura: Is it?
Laura: This is the greatest day of my life.
Laura: Because an isotope is about how heavy it is.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: You're learning.
Laura: Making notes helped, Ron.
Ron: It does, doesn't it?
Laura: Did you just say I do move in herds?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Why?
Ron: It's a Jurassic Park reference.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: I'm so happy.
Laura: I don't even know what to say now.
Laura: I can't even carry on with the podcast.
Ron: Yeah, you based it there.
Ron: That was four marks out of 123-4566 marks.
Laura: Amazing.
Laura: Best day of 2022 so far.
Laura: It's amazing how much Jurassic Park comes up in this podcast.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: It's a film that I like and I've seen a good few times, but I wouldn't really call it it's not really part of my cultural touchstones.
Laura: Definitely something you bring up, though, because it's not me bringing it up.
Ron: I do think about it all the time.
Laura: It's not one of my cultural touchstones.
Laura: I just think about it constantly.
Ron: I think about Jurassic Park all the time.
Ron: I think about family all a lot.
Laura: I saw him on Twitter earlier.
Laura: He's on a yacht today.
Ron: Oh, that's nice for him.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: He was good in Peakybinders peaky Blinders.
Laura: I've never seen that.
Laura: It looked a bit violent for me.
Laura: Yeah, you wouldn't like it.
Ron: Funky men, though.
Laura: Not that killian Murphy guy, though.
Laura: He freaks me out a little bit.
Laura: Now, I don't want to be disparaging about where people look, but, you know, sometimes somebody is seen as super handsome, but they just give you the chills.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: This is how I feel about Kellyanne Murphy and Chris Pine.
Laura: I honestly think Chris Pine is one of the scariest looking dudes on planet Earth.
Laura: And it was like, look at meat cream and parties.
Laura: And I'm like, no, run away.
Laura: He looks like he is going to eat you.
Laura: I'm scared of him.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I think Hollywood handsome sometimes can be very striking, which I guess is divisive.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: But they're striking and then they're striking you and I feel like you're fine, which is beat me to death.
Ron: Because the Killer Murphy thing, especially in Peaky Blinders, is a very violent show.
Ron: I could see that Chris Pine looks like a nice man.
Laura: No, he doesn't.
Laura: He doesn't, Ron.
Laura: He's tricked you into thinking he looks like a nice man.
Ron: No, but you'd fancy Kelly Murphy's brother in the show.
Ron: Fred.
Laura: Fred Murphy.
Laura: All right, yeah.
Laura: Is he a bit hairier and softer looking?
Ron: Yeah, he's got a moustache.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I don't really like an angular, ice cold looking person.
Laura: I need them to look like they'll go, don't worry, Laura, you'll be okay.
Laura: And then just ruffle my hair a bit.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Anyway, we haven't done this in a while.
Ron: Can you tell?
Laura: Thanks, Alicia.
Laura: Science podcast about Chris Pine.
Laura: And Gilliam Murphy.
Laura: Hey.
Laura: Ronald and I have had a chat this week and we have had to think about most seriously looking into merch that will try and get it ready for Christmas.
Laura: So, probably putting in an order this week.
Laura: We're thinking we're going to start very small in terms of numbers and what to do.
Laura: And we've been looking at what you guys have been interested in, but say we put out a few Tide protection helmet baseball caps and maybe if there was an option for that hat and a T shirt with don't just say stuff on it.
Ron: There's been lots of calls for down merch.
Laura: Down merch would be good.
Ron: Baseball cap that just said down in lower caps.
Laura: We could go that way.
Laura: Yeah, those are the sort of two, maybe three options that we're thinking about.
Laura: Obviously, we'd love to make a whole range and get everybody what they want, but we're not quite at a point with the listenership where we can invest in that and know that it's all going to sell.
Laura: And I say this as somebody with a lot of national treasures, podcast merchandise currently under Hudson's desk.
Ron: All of the money that we've made from the podcast, we have invested directly back in, which is to say zero.
Laura: So, yeah, I mean, to be fair, there's no way we can make money from the podcast yet, because we haven't actually asked for any money in any way.
Ron: Yeah, but someone should have given us some by now.
Laura: Just posted us a fine.
Ron: Thanks.
Laura: Yeah, thanks is 50 p.
Laura: Just fling it out next time you see us.
Laura: So we will be starting small, if that's of vague interest to you.
Laura: If you could just wave a hand us somehow, some way, give us a nod that a reasonably priced T shirt and or hat would be of interest to you, then we'll know how many numbers to order because we are going to keep it small.
Laura: So then if nobody says they want them, there will literally be ten.
Laura: So we don't want people to not be able to get them if they want them.
Laura: But equally, I don't want to be wearing down hats and pyjamas for the rest of my life, because that's all that's in my house, so let us know.
Laura: And also, if you are listening and you think, oh, I love merch tshirts.
Laura: But they're always baggy ones built for the male form.
Laura: There will be a Vneck version of the T shirt because I'm so sick of having merch that is unflattering.
Ron: And I support this.
Laura: So there we go.
Laura: Listen, we love you.
Laura: We'll see you next week for physics.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Again, so it's been a while.
Laura: It's been a while.
Ron: It's my turn.
Ron: Catchphrase.
Laura: Catchphrase.
Ron: Say what you're saying.
Ron: Close this mess.
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