Bar Graph For Wankers

 Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education, the Comedy.

Laura: This podcast where comedian me Laura Lexx tried to learn science from her supernormal brother, Ron.

Laura: Woo.

Ron: Hello, Ron.

Laura: Hi, Ron.

Laura: You're so normal.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Let's not make too much of a thing of the normal thing because, oh.

Laura: My God, you were never happy.

Ron: If you make too much thing of the normal thing, then it really seems like I'm not normal.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I want new listeners that are starting at this point to be like, what's wrong's past?

Laura: Nobody claims this has to be normal.

Ron: It's me, comedian, relax.

Ron: And my non pervert brother, Ron.

Laura: No, you're famously one of the least problematic men on the internet, so hashtag normal.

Ron: If that was normal, the world would be such a set spin.

Laura: What if you were normal?

Ron: No, no, no.

Ron: If being non problematic was problematic.

Ron: Man on the internet.

Laura: Do you know what I was thinking about the other day?

Laura: You know the hat game where you put loads of names in the hat and so if you haven't played the time, first rule is you pull a name out and you describe it to a teammates.

Laura: You do every name in the hat and then in the next round, you can only say one or three words, depends how your family plays it.

Laura: And then in the final round, you have to do actions.

Laura: And I remember a few years ago, playing with Tom's family at Christmas, and ALex, my sister in law, put Elon Musk in the hat and I pulled it out and this was just a random collection of letters that meant nothing.

Laura: And none of us had heard of him except Alex.

Laura: And she was going, he's like this famous billionaire.

Laura: We were like, nah, no idea, no nothing.

Laura: And I just think, God, I'd give anything to go back to that moment in time.

Ron: Yeah, what a f****** DWeb.

Laura: Yeah, what a DWAB.

Ron: Oh, my God.

Ron: Just turning up to Twitter HQ with a sink.

Ron: There's a really funny video of him back when he was with Grimes.

Ron: And it's like them having like a candid interview at their house and she is just so clearly unhappy and she's making jokes, like, and then I'm going to run away forever like that.

Ron: And it's so uncomfortable.

Laura: Now, I don't want to seem super old here, but who is Grimes?

Ron: A UK rapper, I assumed.

Ron: I don't know.

Laura: I have no idea.

Laura: I only know her as being his exgirlfriend.

Laura: And they had a baby together, didn't they?

Ron: Yeah, they named like a mathematical equation or something.

Ron: It's called Mcdelta Theatre or something.

Laura: Triangle Square.

Laura: Anyway, listen.

Laura: Welcome to today's episode.

Laura: Joining you, Ron.

Ron: Down with musk.

Laura: Down with musk.

Laura: Trans.

Laura: Light up a cigarette.

Ron: As in this episode, nor is not the dunder prep.

Laura: Listen, I've had a very stressful week.

Laura: I have not listened to the episode.

Laura: So normally when we do the quiz, I can't remember what we did or we start an episode and I think, I don't know what we did, but the intro and outro is my turn to shine.

Laura: I can prepare for it.

Ron: It's only three to five minutes long.

Ron: She can focus.

Laura: Yeah, and I'm good at that.

Laura: I do loads of look, I look at what you guys are saying on the socials.

Laura: I make loads of notes and I'm gloriously presentary.

Laura: I've f***** it this week.

Laura: I haven't had time to listen, I haven't had time to make notes on what you guys have been saying.

Ron: We allowed to talk about the TV show that you're going on.

Laura: I don't know.

Ron: Let'S not I guess.

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: I don't read the contract so I never know if I'm allowed to or not.

Laura: Well, I'm filming a TV show on Saturday.

Laura: It's nothing special but it's taking up a lot of my brain power.

Ron: What's your specialist subject?

Ron: What, you mean for the TV show?

Laura: Well, I think that's going to give it away.

Laura: It's the history of alternative comedy, which I've got the book right here and I've nearly finished reading it, so as long as their questions are on the first twothirds of the book, it's going to be fine.

Laura: Everyone.

Laura: Anyway, Ron, what's today's episode about?

Ron: Illnesses and their general effect on people, the economy, society.

Laura: Yeah, well, have a good time everyone.

Laura: Biology.

Ron: Hooray.

Laura: Well, if you're not thrilled about it, how am I supposed to be?

Ron: I said hooray.

Laura: Yeah, but in a very sad way.

Ron: No, I meant that.

Ron: Are you annoyed because we've just done a physics quiz?

Laura: Probably.

Laura: I never quite know why I'm annoyed, but I am.

Ron: Are you hungry?

Laura: No, I don't think so.

Laura: What I am is I'm very hot on one cheek because of the way the sun is coming through the Veloux.

Ron: It's very grey here.

Laura: It's my favourite kind of day here.

Laura: Like sunny but chilly.

Ron: Yeah, I do like this winter sunny day.

Laura: Absolutely delicious.

Laura: Now listen, I'm just closing all the tabs on my computer down.

Laura: God, I cannot express how much I hated last week's subject matter.

Laura: Please tell me it's something juicy and interesting this week.

Ron: It's biology and it's not small, so I think you will enjoy it.

Ron: Alright, I will say I did the research for this about 06:00 a.m.

Ron: This morning while very hungover and tired.

Laura: Why are you hungover?

Laura: It's Friday.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Where did you go last night?

Ron: Place Lucienburg.

Laura: Place Lucenburg?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Why?

Ron: All of their EU people stand there and drink on Thursdays and it's nice to go.

Laura: Is that that place in the woods that we went to?

Ron: No, don't do that.

Laura: Sorry.

Ron: It's going to be a lot led by you today.

Ron: It's going to be a bit of independent learning and stuff.

Ron: How does that sound?

Laura: Terrible.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: What are you going to be doing?

Ron: I'm just going to be guiding you through it like raven, shutting your eyes.

Ron: What do you think the syllabus can be going through today?

Laura: I've got no idea.

Laura: You said it wasn't small, so trees.

Ron: It's quite far off.

Ron: So we're going to be talking about health issues.

Laura: Oh, no, this is gonna make me sad in my bones a bit.

Ron: So syndrome wants us to know what the relationship between health and a disease is.

Ron: What do you reckon?

Laura: I reckon if you're generally healthy, then when a disease comes up on you, you've got the building blocks to fight it off.

Laura: Like, if you eat a lot of vegetables and you've got all of the nutrients racing around your blood, and your blood's got a good transport system and your liver's not super overworked, you've got the capacity to fight the disease.

Laura: But if a disease gets in and all your white blood cells busy, then the disease has a better time rampaging.

Ron: Probably true.

Ron: Not a doctor can't comment on it, but let's work it back.

Ron: More simple than that.

Ron: How's your health affected by a disease?

Laura: The f*** is this question?

Laura: What do you mean?

Laura: Am I just supposed to sit here and go, oh, this isn't good for you?

Ron: Yes.

Laura: This is the problem with science.

Laura: It's either so easy, it's just stupid, or it's so complicated that you just throw things because it doesn't matter.

Ron: So it says students should be able to describe the relationship between health and a disease.

Laura: Oh, that can absolutely.

Ron: And then it says, health is the state of physical and mental wellbeing.

Ron: Diseases are a major causes of ill.

Laura: Health and there's nothing else we could be learning in the time they're taken to write that down and put it on a piece of paper.

Laura: God, actually bite me.

Laura: I came up with such a good answer then as well.

Laura: So full of ideas.

Laura: And this is the s*** they wanted me to say.

Ron: So this is the other fact.

Laura: Now the biology isn't even good.

Laura: I don't even know what I'm looking forward to this podcast anymore, because it used to be like, yeah, physics will numb my mind.

Laura: And not only I'm gonna have to listen to it, then I'm going to have to edit it, and then I have to and now biology is w*** as well.

Ron: What about chemistry?

Laura: Do I do no, it isn't.

Laura: Chemistry is the absolute cornflakes of the world.

Laura: If you catch it just right, it's fine.

Ron: Halloween episode was stunned.

Laura: Second too long.

Laura: No, Halloween episode was stupid as well because I was so interested thinking, I'd find out how to make a f****** zombie.

Laura: And then it just ended.

Ron: So other factors can have a profound effect on both physical and mental health.

Ron: What do you think those might be?

Ron: There are three.

Laura: I think if your mental health is bad, that's bad.

Ron: No, but ten points.

Ron: But what factors do you think could.

Laura: Oh, it can be anything.

Ron: Yeah, there are three.

Laura: No, there's low.

Ron: Trust me, there are three.

Laura: I'm looking at this 20 years.

Laura: Dodging factors that make mental health worse.

Ron: There are three.

Laura: What's the question?

Ron: What factors do you think could have a profound effect on physical and mental health?

Laura: There's more than three.

Ron: There are three.

Laura: For example, someone announces their pregnancy on an olive oil mill tour.

Laura: That is negative.

Ron: That comes under stress.

Ron: That's one of them.

Ron: Good.

Laura: What about the dark?

Laura: The dark makes me sad and anxious.

Laura: Also makes my skin flaky.

Ron: So that probably comes under the third one.

Ron: Life situation.

Laura: Stress and life situations are the same thing over a certain age.

Ron: And then there's one more thing.

Laura: Your mum.

Ron: That's a life situation.

Laura: I'd probably say that is a stressful life situation.

Laura: Having the same government for twelve years.

Ron: Again, stress and life situation.

Laura: Diet.

Ron: That is it.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Well done.

Laura: Brilliant.

Ron: Other factors, including diet, stress and life situations, can have a profound effect on mental health.

Ron: Different types of diseases may interrupt my.

Laura: Mouse on my desk.

Laura: Something really small has been eating this dog treat.

Ron: Throw it away and clean.

Ron: My meeting just got cancelled.

Ron: Lovely.

Ron: So we can just stay on.

Laura: One part of my face is really hot.

Laura: I feel like Aaron Eckhart right now.

Ron: Nice reference.

Laura: Thank you.

Ron: So different types of diseases may interact.

Ron: You think of any?

Laura: You look like a like, portrait of the Virgin Mary right now.

Ron: You look like a mad woman that's elbowed her way into a nativity.

Laura: Do you remember that time when I was the mad woman that no, you won't remember it because you're too young.

Laura: But here's a classic Ron and Laura story.

Laura: When you were first born, Meg, our younger sister, your less older sister was in reception class at school and you'd just been born in November.

Laura: So you were the baby Jesus in the nativity, which is mad.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: Insane.

Laura: But no one in Megan's class was like big enough to carry you on stage, so I was just there.

Laura: It's jesus's, Opare.

Ron: I didn't know that, actually.

Ron: I was just mom and dad just abandoned me to the Waifs.

Laura: No, I was in year six or something.

Laura: I was still at primary school, but there was just a massive kid also at the stable, like Jesus's wetness.

Ron: So weird.

Ron: So unnecessary to have a real life baby like some Hollywood movies.

Ron: Don't bother getting a real life baby.

Laura: Not in Fitzword, in primary school, though.

Laura: Killing it for the realism.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I absolutely f****** smash nativities both times because I played Jesy Crazy and played Josie Crozy.

Laura: Did you?

Laura: Were you a Joseph kid?

Laura: Oh, yeah, I was a full shepherd.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Year three, we did a weird retelling of The Iron Giant, so I just narrated it and a bunch of kids like much like Jurassic Park.

Ron: I think about that all the time as well.

Laura: Our school did a lot of plays, didn't it?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Norton Fitzwood school was all about the extracurricular activities.

Ron: Topic books.

Laura: Topic books?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Just study shoes.

Laura: I did, honestly, in year two.

Laura: Ms.

Laura: Randall my whole, you know, like so our school, every term, had a subject that was and they'd, like, loosely based all the literacy and numeracy around that subject.

Laura: So usually it would be something like World War II or the Tudors.

Laura: In my year, too, it was Bathtubs.

Laura: It was baths.

Laura: And, like, we wrote poems about the PlugY monster.

Laura: And this sounds like a fever dream, but in the corner of the classroom, there just was a bathtub that you could go and play it.

Ron: Yeah, we did shoes.

Ron: That was a weird one.

Ron: One time we just did Norton Fitz Warren, which was the village we were in.

Ron: We just got to just wander around.

Laura: What a school.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Anyway, right?

Laura: I've just written down health issues so far.

Ron: Different types of disease may interact.

Ron: Can you think of any ways that different diseases might interact?

Laura: I know cancers can spread.

Ron: Yeah, that's kind of just cancer being cancer, isn't it?

Laura: Okay, I can't think of any diseases now.

Laura: What's the disease?

Ron: Whooping cough.

Laura: We used to sing a song about whooping cough in Brownies, which now seems so weird.

Laura: Did you ever sing that song?

Laura: Did you scout some stuff?

Ron: Yeah, I did.

Laura: We used to sing a song that went way down south, not very far away the jaybird died of the hooping cough he hooped so hard with the hooping cough that he hooped his head and his tail right off.

Ron: No, that's brand new.

Laura: Please sing that, like, every week.

Laura: And now, looking back, like, who wrote that and who taught it to children, especially, like, it's not like I was alive in the Victorian period.

Laura: This was, like, the late 1990s.

Laura: Why were we singing about whooping cough in Jaybirds?

Ron: Honestly, apart from the camping, I'm not sure.

Ron: I can remember anything about cup scamps.

Ron: Honestly.

Ron: I can't remember what we did on a weekly basis.

Laura: I think we made stuff and ran around.

Laura: I never got to go camping.

Ron: You never got to go camping?

Ron: They don't take the girls camping.

Laura: They did.

Laura: I think I managed to be there over years where they didn't happen.

Laura: I never once went.

Laura: Hewish woods.

Ron: Hewish woods was the best.

Laura: This is so much Somerset based content hues.

Laura: Hey.

Laura: Somerset listeners.

Ron: Man One time I was at Hewish Woods when they had, like, all of the Cub Scout groups from Taunton there at the same time, and it was like f****** Lord of the Flies.

Ron: It was amazing.

Ron: Every single group just declared, manhunt on this one kid.

Laura: Oh, no.

Laura: Was that kid you?

Ron: No, he was a mate of my no, but not for those four days.

Ron: He was just hunted.

Laura: That poor boy.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: What was the question?

Laura: What were we talking about?

Laura: Diseases.

Ron: Yeah, diseases that interact.

Laura: Oh, I don't know.

Ron: I'll give you one.

Ron: I'll give you one.

Laura: So what if you've got, like the trouble is, it's quite hard to joke about diseases, isn't it?

Ron: No.

Ron: Just go through it.

Ron: F*** your people.

Laura: Well, I know when I was at school, one of my teachers got glandular fever and then that turned into me.

Ron: Interesting.

Ron: Yeah, that's one.

Ron: It's not one of the four on my list, though, so it doesn't count.

Ron: But that's one there you go.

Ron: There's one I went so things that it points out is like defects in the immune system.

Ron: That's what we'd call a noncommunicable disease.

Laura: Because it's just because you can't talk to it.

Ron: Yeah, you can't talk it through into someone else's.

Ron: Defects in the immune system would obviously then make you more likely to suffer from infectious diseases, communicable diseases.

Ron: So that's one disease playing into others.

Ron: Things like viruses, they can trigger certain cancers, immune reactions.

Ron: Sorry, burp.

Laura: Two.

Laura: I saw you swallow the first one.

Laura: Try and make it look like you're taking this very seriously and somberly, but actually you're just burping it's because I've.

Ron: Been eating these nuts.

Laura: Yeah, you've been tweeting about nuts a lot lately.

Ron: I was kind of live tweeting this.

Laura: Why have you got a load of nuts?

Ron: Judith bought them for me.

Laura: Girlfriend of the podcast Judith?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And I'm very unadventious with my nuts.

Ron: Usually almonds stick them in our ears.

Ron: Got me this mixed thing and I've been going through it and yeah, I did live tweet some of the nuts.

Laura: Brazil nuts are great.

Laura: There was a couple of years.

Laura: Very thin on the ground.

Laura: I love a walnut.

Laura: Save me the walnuts and give them to me when you come and visit me.

Ron: Maybe hazelnuts.

Ron: Some hazelnuts are great.

Ron: Some are bad.

Laura: When a hazelnut's bad, it actually tastes like a s***.

Ron: Yeah, it's real bad cashews, though.

Ron: It's still the hero.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I only like a salted roasted cashew, though.

Laura: I don't like a raw cashew.

Ron: I can eat a raw cashew.

Ron: Almond also great.

Laura: I think pistachios are my faves, though.

Ron: Pistachios don't even count.

Ron: Oh, man.

Laura: What?

Ron: I mean, like, pistachios are too good to be like a nut.

Laura: They should oh, I see my nails have not recovered from the pistachios I ate on holidays.

Ron: Pistachios are like chocolate or bacon or something.

Ron: All right, what are we talking about?

Laura: And then everything's but diseases.

Ron: The other thing that it says is severe physical ill health can lead to depression and other mental illnesses.

Ron: I will give this to AQA I'm quite impressed by the equal standing of mental and physical health in this bit of the syllabus.

Laura: Well, it's because they know how crap the rest of the syllabus has been and how their children are feeling while they're doing this.

Ron: So the next bit, it says students should be able to translate disease incidence information between graphical and numerical forms, construct and interpret frequency tables and diagrams, bar charts and histograms, and use a scatter diagram to identify a correlation between two variables.

Ron: Now, I don't have any of this data, so it's going to be hard to do.

Laura: Why don't you have this data?

Laura: You're supposed to have the data.

Ron: It's right in the syllabus.

Laura: Forget it.

Ron: No, I don't know where it is.

Ron: But do you reckon you could do that?

Laura: No, I don't even know what you said.

Laura: I've got to have a hysterectomy.

Ron: You know what a histogram is?

Laura: No.

Ron: Histogram is kind of like a bar graph for wankers.

Laura: I don't want to do a bar.

Ron: Graph of wankers rather than it just kind of pointing up to the bit that is I think it's the area of the bar denotes how much the thing is.

Ron: What like the area of that you got shaded in the area of the bar.

Ron: So it's like a bar chart.

Ron: You know what a bar chart is?

Ron: Or a column graph.

Laura: Yes, I know what a bar chart is.

Ron: It's like that, but rather than it just kind of like going up to a number one of the bars, the area of the bar is equal to the number that it's representing.

Laura: So some are wider?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Why?

Ron: It's just a different way to display graphical information.

Laura: Okay, what's that got to do with diseases?

Ron: Just translate diseases.

Laura: I don't think you've done very good prep here, Ron.

Ron: No, I said I didn't.

Ron: I said that right at the top.

Laura: Well, I feel like if I fail this GCSE now, we're all going to know why, right?

Ron: Okay, pop quiz.

Ron: Is disease all right or is it bad stuff?

Laura: Spade take.

Ron: Mark.

Ron: What we do now, students should be able to understand the principles of sampling as applied to scientific data, including epidemiological data.

Ron: That's happy.

Laura: I understood the student should be able to bit.

Laura: And then you started talking about Angelous epidemia and I got confused.

Ron: Epidemiological.

Laura: Epidemiological.

Laura: Is that skin epidemio?

Ron: That's the epidermis.

Ron: It's like epidemic.

Ron: Like epidemic.

Laura: One point.

Laura: Oh my God, look how bad my neck is glowing.

Ron: That's a noncommunicable problem.

Laura: No, look though, doesn't my head look weird?

Laura: It's like wobbling about on a glowing neck.

Laura: Do I look at a CGI?

Ron: You can very sadly CGI.

Laura: So for listeners, the sun is just on my neck and not on my face at all.

Laura: So my neck is like glowing bright white, but my face is just normal, like a little matte egg on a shiny podium.

Laura: Ron, admit it looks weird.

Ron: I'm sending an email.

Laura: Why?

Laura: You're not putting in very much effort to this episode.

Laura: Yeah, look at my weird.

Ron: Oh, the term table.

Laura: Fine.

Laura: I'm going to send an email then.

Ron: Don't send an email.

Laura: Well, if you are.

Ron: I'm going to if I have to.

Laura: Oh, hi, David.

Laura: Hall.

Laura: Maybe I do want to bristle new materials.

Ron: Use you.

Ron: You can't say that.

Laura: Well, that's his name, hall.

Laura: Like the frost, not like the date.

Ron: He sells his David's on the street.

Ron: Right.

Ron: Ready to get back into it?

Laura: Well, I've been here the whole time.

Ron: Shut up, Flora.

Ron: Alright?

Laura: You shut up, Frond.

Ron: Moving on to the next section, the.

Laura: Stupid Piece of S***.

Ron: The Effect of you're an ARL star lifestyle on some non communicable Diseases.

Ron: So students should be able to do two things right now?

Laura: Yeah, we should, but some of us had teachers that didn't bring the material.

Ron: Students should be able to discuss the human and financial cost of these noncommunicable diseases to an individual, a local local community, a nation or globally.

Ron: Okay, so just kind of like an open thought throwing the ball over to you.

Ron: What do you think noncommunicable diseases do to an individual, local community, a nation or globally?

Laura: Hey, I don't know what you mean.

Laura: I was hoping I could write it out and you'd stop saying it, but it does appear to keep coming up.

Laura: So what does that mean?

Ron: For example, you've got a swamp brain.

Ron: You can't give that to anyone else.

Ron: No one's catching swamp brain from you.

Laura: So that's noncommunicable, whereas noninfectious.

Ron: Yeah, like, if I sneeze let's just say infectious.

Ron: If I sneezed on you yeah.

Ron: You might get a cold.

Ron: That's Communicable.

Laura: If I sneeze on you, you might get prettier.

Ron: I hate the smell of sneezes.

Laura: Me, too.

Laura: Smells like honey.

Ron: No, smells like rapeseed.

Laura: No rapeseed Smells like piss.

Ron: Smells like sneezes.

Laura: No rapeSeed Smells like p***.

Laura: Well, we know what the poll is going to be in this sea.

Ron: You ever just given the microphone a gig?

Ron: A good whiff?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Smells like honey.

Ron: It smells like sneezes.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Honey?

Ron: No.

Ron: Mrs.

Ron: Zod.

Laura: This is a weird episode.

Laura: Yeah, so what's the question?

Laura: Is people being ill good?

Ron: I want you to discuss the heat.

Laura: I can't discuss with myself why you email?

Ron: People ask me questions and stuff.

Ron: Let's have a chat about it.

Laura: I just did.

Laura: I said it's not good.

Ron: That's not a question.

Laura: Oh, do you think it's good, Ron?

Ron: But, like, what if we let these things come on, should we stop diseases?

Laura: Yes, you f****** idiot.

Laura: Obviously.

Ron: An individual might get affected differently to a local community or globally.

Laura: Yeah, that's true.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Discuss.

Laura: What the h*** is there to discuss?

Laura: I don't understand what you're talking about.

Ron: I didn't write the syllabus.

Laura: You should be able to do its representation of with what is it?

Laura: Representative.

Ron: I didn't write the syllabus.

Ron: You are failing right now.

Ron: You should be able to do this.

Laura: I am doing it.

Ron: Do it then.

Laura: If somebody's ill that is different from everybody being ill.

Ron: But, like, does that cost money?

Laura: Well, it depends if you treat them or not, doesn't it?

Ron: Well, I think on a wider scale, it would cost money even if you didn't because maybe they wouldn't be in the workforce.

Ron: Maybe they knocked.

Laura: Are we talking about a capitalist rather than an agrarian society?

Laura: She didn't make that clear.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Let's talk about maybe the United Kingdom.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Is it raining where you are going?

Laura: To hear rain?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: In the United Kingdom, if someone gets sick, the current policy is to ignore them and hope that they die quicker.

Laura: As I understand it.

Ron: What's, like the human?

Laura: Lots of people every week.

Ron: What about the financial cost?

Laura: What do you mean?

Ron: Discuss it.

Laura: I would say one person falling out of the workforce because they're too old to work is probably costing us less than having lots of billionaires with their money overseas.

Laura: So actually, I think the cost of sick people in treating them is less than having a load of leeches that are hoarding wealth to bring about the apocalypse.

Ron: Totally agree.

Ron: Well, you've discussed it, now we can move on.

Laura: Yay.

Ron: Students should be able to explain the effect of lifestyle factors including diet, alcohol and smoking on the incidence of noncommunicable diseases at local, national and global levels.

Laura: Well, as I understand it, from every GP visit I've ever made, I would be the picture of health.

Laura: If I'd only lose two to three stone.

Laura: Everything that's ever been wrong with me could have been cured by losing some weight.

Ron: Nice.

Ron: What about alcohol?

Laura: Oh, do you know, I once got a letter from my GP saying they were worried as an alcoholic, but I'm not.

Laura: Alcohol.

Laura: Well, it depends which edition of the Daily Mail you read, really, because sometimes a glass of wine every day is the only thing keeping cancer at bay.

Laura: And sometimes just to snift and more wine is what's killing you.

Laura: Too much is bad, but if you stop buying it, that's also bad for the economy.

Laura: So who knows what to do?

Ron: Isn't those things usually like quite class based and it's like, oh, if you drink nice red wine, it's good and cures cancer.

Ron: If you're drinking buck fast or something, then you're going to die.

Laura: Yeah, that's the thing.

Laura: I just think if you're born rich, you're probably going to be healthy.

Laura: And if you have to work really hard and it's stressful to just live every day, then more things are going to go wrong with your body because you're under more lifestyle factors.

Ron: Agreed.

Ron: Stress is an immunosuppressant.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: You get ill more and more about smoking.

Laura: Oh, really?

Laura: Good for you.

Ron: Smoking obviously also very cool.

Ron: Smoking is cool.

Ron: Kids.

Ron: Join a union.

Ron: F****** light up a cigarette.

Laura: Disclaimer.

Laura: Do not.

Laura: Well, Ron think do you smoke?

Ron: Yeah, a bit.

Laura: I have never smoked and I've never liked it.

Laura: I've probably had five cigarettes in my life and I've hated every one of them.

Ron: That's good.

Laura: I've never ever I'm quite I'm not cool at all.

Laura: No, I'm more anxious than cool.

Laura: Vaping smells nice, but apparently that's the absolute devil's bum hole now as well.

Ron: Well, the thing with vaping, I think, is just everyone started doing it so quickly that things like cancer and stuff that smoke they were supposed to solve from smoking take a while to happen.

Ron: So there's just like no there's no data on the long term effects of vaping.

Laura: Because it's not just like a hooker pipe.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Which is hugely bad for you.

Laura: I like doing that.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: But it's got water vapour in it, which is one of the worst things that you can.

Laura: Well, there's nothing fun you can do on planet Earth.

Laura: So sit in a box and worship the sun with sun cream on the moon.

Laura: Worship the moon always comes.

Laura: I feel happy when I think about the moon.

Ron: All right.

Ron: I feel like we've discussed that.

Ron: I feel like you can discuss that.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Well done.

Ron: Risk factors are linked to an increased rate of disease.

Ron: Laura they can be aspects of a person's lifestyle.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: We talked about really?

Ron: Or substances in the person's body or environment.

Laura: If you have asbestos for breakfast.

Ron: Can you tell?

Ron: I'm kind of struggling with apart on the syllabus because it is so vague.

Ron: For example, the next sentence.

Ron: A causal mechanism has been proven for some risk factors, but not in others.

Ron: What, so a causal mechanism is kind of exactly what it sounds like.

Ron: Something causing something else.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Like if you fall down the stairs, it will cause bruises.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: The effects of diet, smoking and exercise on cardiovascular disease, for example.

Ron: We've talked about this before, how some of the ways diet can affect cardiovascular disease.

Laura: Laura oh, salt.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: What does salt do?

Laura: Thickens the blood.

Ron: The name of the episode we just released.

Laura: Tummy.

Laura: High blood pressure.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: What else in diets sucks up water?

Ron: That's the same.

Ron: Salt tick.

Ron: Move on.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What else?

Laura: Right, okay.

Laura: Red meat.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: That's bad for your heart for some reason.

Ron: Think probably because it has lots of.

Laura: Fingers.

Ron: What are you eating?

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: The other night, right, I went out for dinner in that restaurant where you eat in the pitch black.

Laura: Oh, I ate with my fingers the entire night.

Ron: I was so scared.

Laura: It was so liberating to just shovel food into my face like mashed potato.

Laura: Just eating it on a shovel made of your fingers.

Laura: It was great.

Ron: Was the food good?

Laura: No, not really.

Laura: The food, I would say, was very average food, but the experience was really fun.

Ron: Yeah, it sounds fun.

Ron: I think that's the problem is that maybe I'd eat something.

Ron: I've cooked in the dark, but I've had hair or dead rabbit.

Laura: That was a bit right.

Laura: So with my starter, I had a salmon thing, and I was still using Cutter at this point.

Laura: And I shoved my fork into something, put it in my house, started chewing.

Laura: I was just chewing a lemon witch.

Laura: Absolutely rank and surprising.

Laura: Anyway, what was the question?

Ron: I don't think I'd ask one, to be honest.

Ron: I was just kind of slowly reading The Silver Steam this week.

Ron: All your body sounds backwards today.

Ron: That really sounded like you were honking in obesity is.

Ron: Oh, no.

Ron: We were talking about diet.

Ron: So fat.

Ron: Fat?

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: Fat and.

Ron: Cholesterol.

Laura: Cholesterol.

Laura: What is cholesterol?

Ron: Cholesterol is a type of fat.

Laura: It's a type of fat and it gets into your arteries, in the lining.

Laura: It's the lining.

Laura: It's not just clogging them up, it's in the water.

Ron: Exactly.

Laura: I remember that.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So smoking also affects cardiovascular disease for two reasons.

Ron: Smoking increases your heart rate and therefore your blood pressure.

Ron: Smoking also makes your platelets sticky.

Ron: Can you remember what platelets were from our Bone Caves episode?

Laura: No, but now I'm thinking about that game sketch.

Laura: Do you remember that sketch?

Ron: It brings about scotch.

Laura: You had that, like, sticky velcro frisbee stuck to your hand, and then you'd throw a ball and it'd stick to that.

Ron: I have a really weird thing with velcro where the sound of velcro and even just thinking about it and imagining that noise physically hurts my ears.

Ron: I really hate it.

Ron: Honestly, she gives me the willies.

Ron: I think it's because I've got that high pitched deafness in one of my ears.

Laura: Did you try that thing about putting your hands over your head and tap in the back of your head?

Ron: No.

Laura: You should try that one.

Laura: And I have tentative.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Because I've got the high pitched deafness.

Ron: I think velcro is just right on the edge of that.

Ron: It's horrible.

Ron: So it makes your plate sticky.

Ron: You don't remember what platelets are?

Laura: Bits of blood.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So they're kind of the things that make scaps.

Ron: They clot stuff.

Ron: So if they get sticky increases the chance of your blood clots.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Got to sign back into the laptop.

Ron: That's how this all we've been doing.

Laura: Yeah, we've been doing really well.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: It's nice to write anything down, though.

Ron: It's nice, though, isn't it?

Laura: No, not really.

Laura: It's very sad and depressing.

Ron: Oh.

Ron: But we're having a nice time.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Obesity is a risk factor for type two diabetes.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: You know, one.

Laura: Too much sugar.

Ron: I don't really know, actually, because too much sugar is kind of I just.

Laura: Don'T think the format works.

Laura: If neither of us know or care, Ron, one of us has to be the rigid wall of academia for the other one to slosh.

Ron: Again, honestly, I thought you'd step up.

Laura: What, I just magically know the answers?

Laura: How is that going to happen?

Ron: I've been pretending this all time.

Laura: No, type two diabetes.

Laura: It's something to do with the pancreas, isn't it?

Laura: Diabetes you don't produce.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: It's kind of like too much sugar, surely, is the cause of both of those things.

Ron: Among other factors.

Laura: It's difficult to say, Ron, the effect.

Ron: Of alcohol on the liver and brain function.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Brain cells.

Ron: Doesn't it curse your brain cells?

Ron: Probably.

Laura: The thing is, though, as you get older, you don't want too many brain cells.

Ron: I need to numb myself.

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Because you sort of have this idea that as you get older, life is going to open up for you and all these things are going to be available, and then actually, the world just gets smaller and darker and gloomier.

Laura: So I think it's best to just not really be present.

Ron: Yeah, but alcohol in the liver.

Ron: So basically what happens is I think it's the same enzyme enzyme that processes alcohol, I think also processes fats.

Ron: So when you drink too much alcohol, that enzyme is busy processing all the alcohol and then fat builds up in your liver.

Ron: This is not necessarily a problem because if you stop drinking alcohol, your liver will then process all the fats.

Ron: But if you have too much fat in your liver for too long, it will cause scar tissue around it and then that cannot heal.

Laura: Sarcasm is to know it all.

Laura: Close your eyes and I'll kiss you.

Laura: Ghosts with birth of Share it's lonely, actually, when one of my friends was pregnant but didn't want to say, they used the excuse that they had a fatty liver, and so that's why they weren't drinking, to COVID up for the fact that they weren't ready to share the news yet.

Laura: So there you go.

Laura: If you need a reason, if you're quite a heavy drinker and you don't want to have to explain the real reason why you're not drinking liver and lots of people will believe you, it's.

Ron: A weird thing to make up.

Ron: The effect of smoking on lung disease and lung cancer just real bad for you in it, smoking and alcohol onboard babies.

Laura: Oh, very bad.

Laura: I know all about that.

Ron: Yeah, bad.

Laura: Very bad.

Laura: And very unpredictable, too.

Laura: Because here's the thing about foetal alcohol syndrome.

Laura: You know, it's called a syndrome, but actually it's just everything that can go wrong because depending on when you drank and how much you drank, all of a human being is being created.

Laura: So it's kind of like a syndrome that means every possible thing that could have gone wrong because you've given it suboptimal conditions to develop stuff it's going to need for the rest of its life.

Laura: So don't drink and smoke when pregnant, guys, it's very important.

Ron: Yeah, please don't do that.

Ron: Join a union, light a cigarette, but not when you're pregnant.

Laura: Support babies.

Ron: Support people.

Laura: People are babies.

Ron: Be nice to each other.

Ron: And then the last one is carcinogens.

Ron: This means things that cause mutations, things like ionising radiation, things like asbestos.

Laura: Asbestos.

Ron: Many diseases are caused by an interaction of a number of factors.

Ron: Laura, what this means is that why.

Laura: Are you getting slowly more sombre throughout the pizza?

Laura: Are you getting hungry?

Ron: I am hungry, yeah.

Laura: I feel like your energy is really trampling down into the floor on I.

Ron: Was just going like 23 episodes.

Laura: He was giving up.

Ron: Slight change to format.

Ron: Run was really empathetic for a bit.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So many diseases were caused by the interaction between a number of factors.

Ron: So what this means is that more than one factor is causing the disease.

Laura: Yeah, that's obvious.

Laura: In the name of the factor.

Laura: Don't just say it slowly and gravely and think that it's important.

Laura: Students pro carriers.

Laura: I can't believe I miss you, carrots and all that s***.

Ron: That was good though, wasn't it?

Laura: What?

Ron: The pro carrier.

Ron: You carry organelle stuff.

Laura: Better than this garbage anyway.

Laura: This is just like a sad adverb.

Ron: Next.

Ron: Birth psychology.

Ron: We do cancer, mate.

Laura: Are you so serious?

Ron: A student should be able to understand the principles of sampling again as applied scientific data in terms of risk factors.

Laura: Okay, what's that meant?

Ron: So sampling is like when you choose people and you quizzem and that okay.

Ron: Students should be you've done so f******.

Laura: Little prep for this.

Laura: You're literally just reading a list.

Ron: I said that at the beginning of the episode.

Ron: This is not a gotcha moment.

Laura: I don't think you're allowed to just say, hi guys, I'm going to be shipped today, welcome to the show.

Laura: I'm always trying that's not true.

Laura: That is true.

Ron: That is not true.

Ron: Largely true.

Ron: Not completely true.

Laura: Have I sent any emails today?

Laura: I haven't been on Twitter since we started recording.

Ron: Yeah, but the fact that you have to even say that is because this has happened before.

Laura: Not in this episode.

Laura: This episode of you are being the rubbish one.

Ron: Well on and well done.

Ron: It's all a teaching moment.

Ron: Students should be able to translate information between graphical and numerical forms and extract and interpret information from charts, graphs and tables in terms of risk factors.

Ron: Okay, so when you have a chart, you have x axis x is across nice y axis y goes up and down a point.

Ron: On that.

Ron: Students should be able to use a scatter diagram to identify correlation between two variables in terms of risk factors.

Laura: That's when there's just loads of clips on a Blob and you just draw a line through the middle and go there you go, there's a trend.

Laura: And what they do is they circle the ones that are really far away that don't fit and go there's outliers.

Laura: Ignore those.

Laura: Look at the line.

Ron: The amount of time I spent in education drawing lines of best fit, which is like the least scientific thing ever really.

Laura: It's almost like constellations, isn't it?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And that's it, that's the episode.

Laura: Well Ron, let's do a quick quiz just because I feel like you need grading.

Laura: Ron, were you good in today's episode?

Laura: No, no, no points.

Laura: All right, we'll see you in a bit for what's going to be the saddest quiz that ever happened on a happy podcast.

Ron: Until the next one.

Laura: Oh, Ron.

Laura: Okay, well listen up Ron, I'm not in the best mood.

Laura: Let's do a biology quiz.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Are you okay?

Ron: Do you want to talk about it?

Laura: It's very stupid but you know how I don't deal with smells very well?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I just had to do quite a big workout next to quite significant fox s***.

Laura: And also the same foxes I assume.

Laura: Kept me awake quite a lot of the night.

Laura: S******* and then bad smells made me feel really sick and angry.

Laura: And I had to do a plank near like, we'd cleaned it up, but just the smell of it was still around.

Ron: Yeah, I'm not good with bad smells either.

Ron: Fairly recently, I roasted a whole cauliflower and it was just me and Judith, so I think we ate half, which is still a lot of cauliflower to eat.

Ron: Judith has a habit sometimes with putting things back in the oven.

Ron: They're on an oven dish.

Ron: We then forgot about this for a week.

Laura: Oh, no.

Ron: I then preheated the oven, cook something else, like the smell of hot rot throughout the flat.

Ron: Honestly, we had to lock the cat in the room, we had to open all the windows, and then we were taking it in turns to deal with it while the other one gagged out of the window.

Ron: It was the worst thing that has ever happened.

Laura: Oh, man, you live in a sitcom.

Laura: Okay, well, I feel better about the smell situation.

Laura: I don't feel strongly that this is going to go well.

Laura: This is possibly a low point in terms of notes, in terms of effort.

Ron: On both sides, to be honest.

Laura: My notes are four words.

Laura: It just says health issues, stress, life, situation, diet.

Laura: And that's it.

Ron: Well, question one, what are the three things that can affect your health?

Laura: I think it might be stress, life situation and diet.

Ron: Ding, ding, ding.

Ron: Three points, Laura.

Ron: Well done.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: Right, no more questions.

Laura: Let's go.

Ron: Question number two.

Ron: What's a histogram?

Laura: Yeah, that ring rings a bell.

Laura: A histogram.

Laura: Oh, my goodness.

Laura: I'm so glad we do this week in between the quizzes, because when I listen to Your dead to me, I get all of the quiz right, because I'm like, yeah, just listen to this.

Laura: Got it.

Laura: And people must feel the same doing this quiz, listening along to me like, d***, that woman really is stupid.

Laura: But honestly, I remember the word histogram.

Laura: I remember thinking that's like hysterectomy.

Laura: And that's what I've retained from that conversation, histogram.

Laura: Wait, didn't you say it was a type of graph that was a bit s***?

Laura: No, you didn't say I said that.

Laura: You said it was a type of graph, like a bar chart, but you colour bits of the bar in.

Ron: No, it's like a bar chart, but no, it's not a word for a colourful bar chart.

Laura: No, I thought it was like it had bars on it, but you coloured in segments of it to show no.

Ron: Nothing to do with colouring in.

Laura: Maybe I was just thinking they'd be less s*** if you cut it's like a bar chart.

Ron: Yeah, so it's a bar chart, but where the area of the bar represents the number.

Laura: Oh, yeah, that's it.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Half a point.

Ron: No, don't get points.

Ron: Saying things are like things assimilates do not get.

Ron: You points.

Laura: That's a shame, because I'd say that is 90% of what I've done so far in this podcast.

Ron: Next question.

Ron: Give an example of two health conditions interacting.

Laura: Let's say diabetes and a broken leg are having a snog.

Ron: Time.

Ron: Final answer.

Laura: He's not here for it.

Ron: I don't like jokes in quiz question answers, because that makes it very hard to just like it's quite hard to discern which ones are jokes and which ones are legitimate attempts.

Ron: So when you said diabetes and a broken leg, I was literally waiting for.

Laura: You to connect those two things.

Laura: What was the question?

Laura: Say it again.

Ron: Give an example of two health conditions interacting.

Laura: Let's say you've got cancer and you're having chemo.

Laura: Well, this is a problem with talking about diseases on a lighthearted podcast, isn't it?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: You didn't have to dive into the deep end.

Laura: And your immune system is low, then if you catch COVID it's going to be really bad for you.

Ron: Yeah, I'll give that to you.

Laura: Yeah, because it's right.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Nice.

Ron: That's a mark.

Ron: And then finally, for two marks, please define a causal mechanism and give an example.

Laura: So, causal is when something causes something else, like causation.

Laura: People argue about which way the causation goes.

Laura: So a causal mechanism must I don't think we talked about this.

Ron: We did.

Laura: We didn't talk.

Laura: Must be something that causes something else.

Laura: I don't know, Ron.

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: Why don't you put in I don't know how to describe it.

Ron: Why don't you put it in context of what we're talking about now?

Laura: I was getting there.

Ron: No, you gave up.

Ron: You asked to stop.

Laura: All right?

Ron: Stop going on your phone.

Laura: Not on my phone.

Laura: My phone's not even in the f****** room.

Ron: Jesus, you were so angry.

Ron: You went Australia in there.

Ron: Not on my f****** phone.

Ron: It's not even in the room.

Laura: Disgustingly.

Laura: Brilliant little Matt Preston joke there on fee.

Laura: Don't know if there's any fans of Australia MasterChef listening, but hey, I don't know, like, if your pancreas switches off.

Ron: No, sir, I just meant because you were like a causal mechanism that is causation something causes something else.

Ron: Yeah, but in the context of what we're talking about, you could say the factors that lead to a health condition or a disease or might influence it.

Ron: And then a causal mechanism is like the defined thing of, like, smoking means that you inhale class energies, which means that you get more mutations, which means you might get lung cancer, that sort of thing.

Laura: I didn't know that.

Laura: Is smoking bad for you?

Ron: No, it's really cool.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Mackie, spark up.

Laura: You're good girl.

Ron: So, yeah, that's the end of the quiz.

Ron: Four out of six.

Ron: No, sorry, four out of seven.

Ron: How do you feel about that?

Laura: Right.

Laura: I didn't know what a histogram was.

Laura: That's fine.

Laura: That causal mechanism is stupid because it's just using unnecessary language for stuff that you basically know.

Laura: I know.

Laura: And I said, So why did you call it the causal mechanism?

Laura: Why don't you just ask me what's the thing that causes the thing?

Ron: Can you not hear yourself?

Ron: That's why.

Ron: What's the thing that causes a thing?

Ron: And give an example.

Ron: Go on, then.

Laura: So when you do smoking, sometimes you get lung cancer because the cigarette causes you to breathe in smoke.

Ron: No, actually, a thing that causes a thing is in this question, when the pan gets hot and it cooks a pancake.

Ron: Sorry, you're wrong.

Laura: All right, why don't you okay, let's finally have a median then.

Laura: Instead you're saying what's a cause of mechanism?

Laura: Why don't you say, what's a factor that can lead to a change in your health environment?

Ron: Because a causal mechanism, like you want to learn the mechanism of it, what happens, like a factor could be like, lack of sunlight, but that does not mean the mechanism that leads from lack of sunlight to making you depressed or something like that.

Laura: But what if I just said, oh, yeah, but I actually work in another area, and causing mechanism means something else?

Laura: Causing mechanism is too vague.

Ron: No, it's too specific.

Ron: That's what you're complaining about.

Ron: You're being too big.

Laura: Mechanism is any more or less vague than a thing that causes a thing.

Ron: It's much less vague than that.

Ron: You just got your back up because you didn't listen last week.

Laura: F*** off.

Ron: Right.

Ron: You f*** off too, Claster Smith.

Laura: Don't say it here.

Laura: You say at the end of the episode.

Laura: So there we go.

Laura: There was the episode of what did.

Ron: You think about it, Laura?

Ron: Top three thoughts, feelings and concepts.

Laura: I think I did very well in the quiz.

Laura: Oh, man, did I do badly?

Ron: I don't know.

Ron: I used to do the first two thirds.

Laura: Listeners, thank you for being you.

Laura: Thank you for your reviews and your chat.

Laura: There has been loads this week, so I'm really sorry if you sent messages this week and we didn't get round.

Ron: Yeah, thanks for everyone was listing their favourite catchphrases of ours.

Ron: There was good bingo content.

Ron: I think someone got maybe even six, maybe.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: Was that Carol?

Laura: I think maybe got a full house.

Ron: Carol had a crazy colour system that I couldn't wrap my head around.

Ron: She's really playing bingo?

Ron: She's playing 4D bingo.

Ron: But yeah, no, she got loads.

Ron: It's making me feel like we are very repetitive.

Laura: Yeah, but that's how you get a catchphrase established.

Laura: Anyway, listen, if you're chatty or you're just a silent lurker, we love you equally.

Ron: We had another birthday sent in, but it's not for a while.

Laura: Oh, did we?

Ron: Yeah, it's not for a while.

Ron: I told him to send it in again because we'll forget.

Laura: No, you could bake them into a spreadsheet.

Laura: You love spreadsheets.

Ron: I won't know.

Laura: All right, well, we'll see you next week where I promise to be more intro outro prepared.

Laura: Have a lovely week.

Laura: Lab rats.

Laura: We love you.

Laura: Goodbye.

Ron: Fast dismissed.