Doesn't Involve Sticks

 Laura: Hello and welcome to Lexx Education, the comedy science podcast, where comedian me, Laura Lexx, tries to learn science from her.

Laura: Oh, my goodness.

Laura: The light of my life.

Laura: Brother Ron.

Laura: Hi, Ron.

Ron: Hey, Laura.

Ron: How's it going?

Laura: Oh, you know, it goes and it goes, doesn't it?

Laura: How are you and your cat?

Ron: We're beefing at the moment.

Laura: Why?

Ron: Because there is not one centre metre of my life that she does not want to invade with noise.

Laura: No.

Laura: And I never ask you're her whole world.

Ron: I spent so much f****** time with her and I didn't judith.

Laura: Take her to work?

Laura: Did you just not work in, like, a cat possible office?

Ron: No.

Ron: Judith's worker is not the most flexible place.

Laura: Never do a job that has consequences.

Laura: That'll teach her to be smart and driven.

Ron: Boo.

Laura: I bought some anti wrinkle cream this week, Ron, and I've realised it's for people over 65.

Laura: Scientifically.

Laura: Is there anything wrong with me putting that on my face 30 years too early?

Ron: It depends.

Ron: I don't know.

Ron: Maybe.

Laura: Oh, crud.

Laura: Well, it's a good investment.

Ron: Is that not just grey washing so that people think, oh, that's designed for my I don't know.

Laura: Does my skin need different minerals when I'm 65?

Ron: Possibly.

Ron: I don't know.

Laura: Me neither.

Ron: Your skin will be fine.

Ron: You've not lived a very cowabunga lifestyle.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: You'll be very youthful.

Laura: I think Mom's got good skin.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: Mum's.

Ron: Cower bunga.

Laura: Sad, wet walnut.

Ron: Dad's quite.

Ron: Cower bunga.

Ron: See?

Laura: Why are you so into the word cowabunga?

Ron: I find it really funny.

Ron: I'm trying to bring it back.

Laura: All right, yeah.

Laura: Go, Labrad.

Laura: Spread cowabunger into the world.

Ron: It's just the week long conversation I had with friend of the podcast Noah about living a cowabunga lifestyle while also maintaining your current lifestyle.

Ron: Really hammered home how diffuse.

Ron: It is a concept, but also how pure.

Laura: Well, we'll start a discussion thread.

Laura: The cow bunga lifestyle.

Laura: Are you in?

Laura: Only on Lexx education.

Laura: I would say I'll stick it on the Facebook page.

Laura: I've lost access to the Facebook page this week while I'm falling apart.

Laura: Hi Yoki.

Laura: Yucky's back.

Laura: I'm in the roof, so Mackie's downstairs.

Laura: I'm the responsible one.

Laura: Anyway, listen.

Laura: Hello and welcome to an episode.

Laura: After last week's episode, you'll be pleased to hear some science actually happens in this one and it's a relatively chill episode for us, I think.

Laura: We didn't have many possible episode titles from last week.

Laura: There were only two others that we liked.

Laura: I loved mystic and Mike's options.

Laura: If you want to see what other people guessed, hop on the Twitter and have a look.

Laura: Our options if you were playing along at homework, crack a dish on that.

Ron: We now have an official discussion thread every week, so there's only one place you need to look for people.

Ron: Jesus, yucky, please, a moment.

Ron: We now have an official discussion thread so you don't have to go searching for these things.

Laura: They all are you actually going to do that every week, Sir Ron?

Ron: Every week.

Ron: I remember.

Ron: And I've had 100% success rate thus far.

Ron: The Twitter is the only part of this that I'm diligent with.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Which is so weird, because Twitter is falling apart and it's the one that we're really gunning for.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Anyway, cracker dicku and what keeps the boat afloat, those were our possibilities.

Laura: But do cheque out everyone else's.

Laura: Thank you very much, everyone on social media who got stuck in on the World Cup.

Laura: Obviously, we came last.

Laura: But, hey, listen, actually, I think given the competition we had, we did really, really well.

Laura: So thank you.

Laura: It's a testament that yeah.

Laura: Not many did come last, didn't we?

Ron: No.

Ron: We beat, Dr.

Ron: Buckles.

Laura: Did we?

Ron: He doesn't have Twitter, but nobody mentioned that, please.

Ron: Because we drew with him on Twitter and I think someone said we won on Instagram.

Laura: We did win on Instagram.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: But yeah, I think we're a small podcast, but the people that listen, really listen and get stuck in and that kind of makes me very happy.

Laura: Thank you.

Ron: Absolutely.

Laura: And we've got a new patreon episode out this Friday, so if you're not a patron yet and you want to watch The Agathon and our other five patreon episodes, then Mexico Two is out this Friday and we're rounding up our geography excursion, more tales of Ron's trips and some Mexican fact.

Laura: So, three quid a month and that gets you at least one extra, maybe a little bit more, depending on if we've done anything else stupid.

Laura: Once we hit 70 patrons, we're going to do cook along with Ron.

Laura: That was badly thought through, as the Eggathon was.

Ron: Once we hit 80 patrons, we'll swap Laura out for another straight white man so that we can get into round two of the podcast competition next.

Laura: Ron is so sad about that.

Laura: He's so gutted about I've been telling him for years, what, being a woman holds you back, and he didn't believe it until now.

Laura: Here I am holding him back and he's like, what?

Ron: I'd be flying if it wasn't for you.

Laura: You would?

Laura: Ron, this is the most successful thing I've ever done and it's because you're here and I'm livid.

Ron: If it was me and Noah doing cower bunger education, we'd be through to the final round.

Laura: Let's do a patreon episode with Noah.

Laura: We talk about Noah all the time.

Laura: Noah could actually teach us some stuff, couldn't he?

Ron: Yeah, he's an orangutan researcher.

Ron: It'd be so interesting.

Ron: But I asked him and he said, no, no.

Laura: How about can?

Laura: Noah, you're a patron now, so you must be listening, surely.

Laura: Can you just send me the research and I'll teach it to Ron from your research notes?

Laura: How about that?

Ron: That would be like watching Mackie try and explain the Iliad.

Laura: She could do it.

Laura: She's a baby genius.

Laura: So there we go.

Laura: Enjoy the episode, everyone.

Laura: I think it's quite a nice chill one for us, except for the weird bit in the middle where we try and sing.

Laura: It's bad.

Laura: But anyway, have a lovely time and we love you.

Laura: So it is biology.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: How does that make you feel?

Laura: I usually like biology.

Ron: Sensitive, timid people asking each other how we feel.

Laura: I usually like biology.

Laura: It's the one that's just like logic and real stuff that matters.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Today should be pretty easy.

Ron: I think.

Ron: We're still kind of in the shadow of the April Fools episode, but I think we will emerge into the light of non Trickos after this.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: What are you doing?

Ron: You're on your phone.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: You're not really engaging or anything.

Laura: No.

Laura: Well, because I'd sort of forgotten that the Tricko episode happened and now you brought it up again and I think we might need to have some therapy together to deal with the aftermath of Tricko.

Ron: It's fine.

Ron: It's just going to be a yearly event.

Ron: That messes with you.

Laura: You can't do it next year.

Ron: Why not?

Laura: Won't fall for it.

Ron: You'll forget.

Laura: I won't forget.

Ron: You will.

Laura: I won't.

Ron: April cool.

Laura: Just stop talking about it now.

Ron: Laura.

Ron: Biology.

Ron: Last time, you remember what we were doing?

Laura: No, but let me have a look.

Ron: You can just say no if one of us is just going to read it.

Ron: I may as well just read it.

Laura: Well, it helps if I am familiarising myself.

Laura: I don't know why'd you get so mad at me using my notebook.

Laura: This is a real trigger for you.

Ron: It's not a trigger for me, but it's just I say, can you remember?

Ron: And you go, Yep, and then just read it out.

Ron: It's like just say no.

Ron: I made this one.

Laura: I didn't say yes, did I?

Laura: I said no.

Laura: But let me have a look at my notebooks.

Laura: Just want me to sit here?

Laura: Just f****** god, you make me angry.

Ron: I can't believe you this angry.

Ron: After a nice jet out, she just.

Laura: Made me f****** talk about toasties for 20 minutes.

Laura: I got stuck.

Laura: This is your job.

Laura: Yeah, and I don't need to be made to feel any less good about that.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: We did all about diseases and STDs and funguses and stuff.

Ron: We did bacterial diseases, we did fungal diseases, we did Protus diseases.

Ron: Those are the diseases.

Laura: Yeah, prokaryotes and kuchis and those things.

Ron: Kuccis.

Laura: I don't know how to pronounce what I've written down, but I would assume it's teaching.

Ron: What?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: C-O-C-C-I cocky.

Ron: Cockeye.

Laura: Cockeye.

Laura: It's funnier your way.

Laura: Yeah, I'll write down how to pronounce that.

Laura: Cockeye.

Laura: He's cocky.

Laura: The sailor man.

Ron: I was just going to say it's like a p**** you feed spinach to.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So we covered all of these today.

Ron: We're moving on to the human defence systems.

Ron: Now, what do you know about our immune systems and how we protect ourselves from diseases at the moment?

Laura: Doesn't involve sticks.

Ron: It does not involve molecular clubs for hitting bacteria.

Ron: No.

Laura: The skin is our first defence and then second defence.

Laura: Is our immune system headed up by white blood cells?

Ron: Absolutely.

Ron: So the skin basically anywhere that sort of comes into contact with bacteria is the first line of defence.

Ron: So obviously the skin is the one on the outside, but then also, obviously, in your nose and in your mouth, where you're breathing stuff in, swallowing stuff, getting grit in your eye.

Ron: In all of these places, we have first line defence as well.

Laura: Oh, saliva.

Ron: When you're a kid, it seemed like you had stuff in your eyes all the time.

Ron: I never get stuff in my eyes anymore.

Laura: Yes, that's just like I guess you moved a lot more.

Laura: Like stuff was always going wrong more.

Laura: And also your concept of time.

Laura: Like, I'd remember as a kid, like, you'd cut your skin or something, and then it just felt like, oh, f***, that's a week of my life ruined now with a sore thumb.

Laura: Whereas now I'm just so busy doing other stuff that if I cut my thumb, I just think, oh, well, I won't think about that again.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: When I was back in tauntington me, Judith, Mum and dad all went for dinner.

Ron: I just had a big cut on my arm and Mum was like, Where'd you get that from?

Ron: I don't know.

Ron: I'm a father's son, I'm good at math and I bleed sometimes.

Ron: How we do?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Dad always has, like, random injuries, but he's a builder, so that makes sense.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Look, he's come to see you.

Ron: Little Mackins.

Ron: How's she doing?

Laura: Well, she's got the runny tums again.

Ron: Dog uncle.

Ron: Like dog.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I don't even know what it is this time, but she's all right.

Laura: She's pretending to be very sleepy today, so I don't walk her in the rain.

Ron: Smart.

Ron: Smart.

Laura: I miss our rain episodes.

Ron: It hasn't happened in ages.

Laura: No.

Laura: Why don't you rain anymore, Belgium?

Ron: We could just put some rain sounds in.

Ron: If this is one of your edits, you might be bothered.

Laura: I probably will now.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Listen to it, listeners.

Ron: Or don't, if Ron's editing.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: So you smash that laura we have these things.

Ron: They're the first line of defence.

Ron: Second line of defence is the immune system headed up by, as you said, white blood cells.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Now, there are lots of different types of white blood cells, but we don't need to go into that in GCSE.

Ron: GCSE is for little babies, so we just need to learn about the three ways.

Laura: I would like the jury to note that that was Ron having a little dig at me for no reason to dig at you.

Laura: You said what we're doing is for little babies.

Ron: I said GCSEs are for little babies.

Laura: What are we doing?

Ron: Yeah, but we're doing this by choice.

Ron: And also we're making a smash hit podcast.

Ron: I don't see any little babies doing that.

Laura: I think there are definitely podcasts for babies that get way more listen.

Ron: Are there podcasts for babies?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Let's have a look.

Laura: Now, where's my phone?

Laura: Maggie is really intent on being between my mouth and the microphone.

Laura: I'm going to have a look.

Laura: Where's my podcast at?

Ron: Big list of podcasts for little kids.

Ron: What kind of a creep do you have to be to make podcasts?

Laura: Relax.

Laura: Music for babies.

Laura: Small talk, baby podcast.

Laura: Montessori Babies.

Laura: Books for babies.

Laura: White noise for babies.

Laura: God's Voice.

Ron: Girl Tales.

Ron: Feminist Fairy Tales, written and performed by playwrights and actors.

Ron: Calm Kids podcast.

Ron: Two sisters, Lucy and Charlotte, ages eleven and eight, share their original stories.

Laura: I found one here that is children's bedtime story that will help your kid fall asleep.

Laura: Relax to this Bible story.

Laura: Meditation with background music.

Ron: But that sounds like cult indoctrination.

Laura: Cowboy Sam.

Laura: Gods.

Ron: Noodle.

Ron: Loaf.

Ron: A collective interactive music podcast that features echo songs, musical challenges and a kids choir that anyone can join.

Ron: That sounds awful.

Ron: You give your kid, like, headphones and set them up, then they're just going to be singing in the corner with a choir.

Ron: Well, I don't know how to feel about that.

Ron: White blood cells have three different ways that they help us defend against pathogens.

Ron: Laura, can you think of any of them?

Laura: What did you say?

Ron: White blood cells have three different ways that they help us defend against pathogens.

Ron: Laura, can you name any of them?

Laura: No.

Ron: Want to guess?

Laura: No.

Ron: All right.

Laura: With misinformation two, your very favourite thing to say is, if you don't know, just say don't just say things.

Laura: So I won't.

Laura: I plead the fifth.

Ron: It's when I say, can you remember something?

Ron: And then you reach for the book.

Ron: It'd be quicker for me to just say it's more of a cheque.

Ron: Yeah, but I never say, Laura, have you got it written down?

Laura: Well, you should, because that's more likely to come out with a positive outcome.

Ron: And then the don't just say things thing is not saying don't have a guess or have a fun time.

Ron: It's about maybe think about it before you say something.

Ron: It's not don't say why.

Laura: It might be triggering for me to be told, have a guess about what white blood cells are up to.

Laura: Yeah, why might that be triggering?

Laura: Let's have a think about the last time we talked about what white blood cells get up to.

Ron: Oh, because I mushed your head up and that's fun.

Ron: But the point that I'm trying to make is that the critical word in don't just say things is the just not the don't is don't just say things.

Ron: Think and say things.

Laura: Well, I don't know about white blood cells.

Ron: It's phagocytosis.

Laura: Oh, you wanted me to f****** guess that.

Laura: What was the point in me thinking and saying anything?

Laura: There was no amount of thinking I was going to do that was going to pull fagan psychosis out of my head.

Ron: Would you know what fagancytosis is?

Laura: No.

Ron: It's where the white blood cell eats the bacteria.

Laura: F*** you.

Ron: It's true.

Laura: What, a big mouth shape with an indent, is it?

Ron: No, they just kind of envelop.

Ron: It horrible.

Ron: But this is real phago from the Latin to eat, cytosis from the Latin for cell.

Laura: So what white blood cells are eating what?

Laura: Can you shut your window?

Ron: Pathogens.

Ron: Yeah, pathogens, right.

Laura: And a pathogen is something that infects you?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Good job.

Ron: Maybe if you saw a video of it, you won't think that I'm lying.

Laura: I will.

Laura: I just think you've spent a weird amount of time making a video.

Ron: Let's watch this one.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Yeah, this seems fine.

Ron: How can I get this to you?

Ron: I'm going to Facebook it to you, Laura.

Laura: Why?

Laura: What?

Ron: Because the WhatsApp web isn't working for me at the moment.

Ron: Can you get off your phone, please?

Laura: No, because I'm waiting for your Facebook thing to come through.

Ron: Are you happy with Facebook?

Ron: Okay.

Ron: You're in a grump today.

Laura: Yeah, because you were slagging off my potato salad.

Laura: Then you made me talk about toasties.

Ron: Salad.

Ron: Thank God.

Laura: Now you're mad at me because I don't guess about phagocytosis.

Laura: Can't keep up.

Ron: I'm not mad at you.

Laura: Can't keep up.

Ron: That's so funny with the potato salad.

Laura: It was weeks ago now for the listener, but I'm still mad.

Laura: Oh.

Laura: So what am I looking at here?

Laura: Lots of tiny, tiny little tic TACs are all hanging about and then this, like, amorphous blob of gel turns up and just globs them all in.

Laura: I think that's the white blood cell.

Laura: Oh.

Laura: And in this computer animation, the white blood cells, like, rolling around and all the bad stuff sticking to them.

Laura: White blood cells are disgusting.

Ron: Yeah, but that's phagocytosis.

Ron: As you can see, they're glomping in the bacteria.

Ron: And as you can also see in that, you can see how much smaller the bacteria are than mackie.

Laura: What do you know about why are you being cross?

Laura: You're very close to the microphone to be this angry.

Ron: Was she grumping about?

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: Sometimes I think when she's asleep, she dreams something that then startles her and then she wakes up and it's still cross.

Ron: She's probably anxious.

Laura: If you're going to make this noise, you need to go on the floor.

Laura: It's gone at the door.

Laura: Bear with me.

Laura: Now, in fairness to her, there was someone at the door there.

Laura: I don't know how she knew so early.

Ron: Yeah, the animals can be quite impressive like that.

Ron: New Yorkie will know the sound of Judith walking up the stairs from, like, two or three floors down, judging by how long it takes her, and will run to the door.

Ron: And obviously there's four flats in this building.

Ron: People come and go a decent amount.

Ron: She'll only do it when it's Judith.

Laura: Yeah, that is interesting.

Laura: Have you tried ever doing it in Judith's shoes to see what happens.

Laura: Like that.

Ron: Bay and Iris yes, but unfortunately I wasn't in the flat, so I didn't know.

Ron: You're right.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Bagel.

Laura: Tysosis, you want to put your phone down now?

Laura: No.

Laura: Watching videos for you.

Ron: Please stop.

Ron: We need to engage.

Ron: We've had a couple of Duff episodes.

Ron: We're going to start losing people.

Laura: That is not my fault.

Laura: I've been here.

Ron: Yes, you were present.

Ron: So fagosotosis.

Ron: They glomp up, lots of them.

Ron: Break them down with.

Laura: ATP.

Ron: What's ATP?

Laura: The powerhouse of the cell.

Ron: That'S mitochondria.

Ron: ATP is the energy currency of the cell.

Ron: So would you just use energy to break something down?

Laura: Yes, a laser.

Ron: Now, I do remember the lesson we did on internal cell lasers, but that was in a very different context.

Laura: What else have you got in the cell that could do that?

Laura: Lysosomes.

Ron: Shreds.

Ron: Lysosomes.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: She's back on her phone.

Laura: I'm f****** writing.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Ron: You need to say.

Laura: You need to trust.

Laura: Actually, look, here you go.

Laura: I'll set my phone up within the vision of the camera so that you can stop shouting at me every 20 seconds.

Ron: That actually does make things a lot better.

Laura: What do they do?

Laura: They destroy the pathogens in the lysosomes.

Ron: The lysosomes contain digestive enzymes that will then break the pathogens down.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: Like a little tiny stomach?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: But they can't get appendicitis.

Laura: F*** you, Ron.

Ron: The next one is antibody production.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Do you know what antibodies are?

Laura: They are like things that can fight.

Ron: No, not really.

Ron: So antibodies are effective, very strong, and.

Laura: They can carry up to ten times their body weight.

Laura: They're usually split into two different parts.

Laura: Three different parts?

Ron: Leaf cutters and fire.

Ron: No.

Ron: So do you remember that on the surface of cells they have these little markers and it's how you know your own cells from other cells?

Laura: No cells have markers on them.

Laura: Do they?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Do you not remember the camouflage stuff that we went through in I can't.

Laura: Remember what was real and what wasn't real anymore, Ron.

Laura: Cells have markers on them, like shirts and skins on your cells.

Ron: More like it's actually a bit more like the telly tubbies.

Ron: You can kind of tell which one's which by the dinky on their head.

Laura: What were they?

Laura: There was a triangle, a little wiggle, a circle.

Laura: Circle.

Ron: A zigzag and a straight line.

Laura: A zigzag.

Ron: Can't remember.

Ron: One of them was always wearing that fabulous hat.

Ron: I was into telly tubbies at the time.

Laura: Does telly tubby baby?

Ron: Lala's got two.

Laura: I thought Lala had the little, like, wiggle in it.

Ron: No, Lala's got two.

Ron: Oh, no, wait, hang on.

Ron: Yeah, Lala's got like, a pigtail.

Ron: Yeah, it's just at some angles it looks like two coming out of her head.

Ron: Tinky Winky's got the triangle.

Ron: Upside down triangle, which is interesting.

Ron: Dipsy just a stick.

Ron: PO a hole.

Laura: Caporo.

Laura: Dipsy just a stick is mean.

Ron: Yeah, but dipsy also has no charisma.

Laura: No, that's true.

Laura: What was your favourite one?

Laura: Mine was Lala, I think.

Ron: Tinky Winky.

Laura: I think you had a Tinky Winky toy.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I haven't really looked at the teletubbies in a long time.

Ron: They're quite horrific.

Laura: Yeah, the teletubby babies are the worst.

Laura: I've not seen oh, it's like computer generated teletubbies content, but it's their babies all living like a ninja.

Laura: There it is.

Laura: Horrifying.

Laura: Right?

Ron: There's so many of them.

Ron: Umby, Pumby, Mimi, Ru, Bar NIN and Dougl D is Dougl D will Dougl D is licking the face of one of the other ones, so maybe oh, God.

Ron: They are really horrific.

Ron: Right.

Ron: What were we talking about?

Laura: Oh, yeah, markers, antelves.

Ron: Everything's got antibodies.

Ron: Imagine you were colorblind and watching the telly.

Ron: Telly.

Ron: How would you tell them apart?

Ron: It would be by the markers on their head and body parts.

Laura: Do an anthem.

Laura: Is it three?

Laura: They got, like I think it's yeah, it's three, yeah.

Ron: When I was a kid, I made an ant on Bamzooki and called it Clive and it won a lot of competitions.

Laura: What the h*** is Bamzooki?

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: I've just remembered.

Laura: You and Jakey loved playing something about penguins.

Laura: You were in a penguin club.

Ron: Club penguin.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Club penguin.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: But Jakey's parents were rich and they used to pay for the premium subscription, so Jake and I can really play together because he had much more features than me.

Laura: You just had a normal penguin and he had an emperor penguin.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I only had one puffle, but he could get different ones and they didn't have to be blue like a poor person's puffle.

Laura: Sorry about your childhood trauma.

Ron: That's all right.

Ron: Club Penguin shut down.

Ron: They flipped the iceberg, though.

Laura: What does that mean?

Ron: Just that there was an iceberg and it used to wobble.

Ron: And the more people you got on end of it, the higher it would go.

Ron: And it was like an urban myth that you could flip it.

Ron: And then they finally did.

Laura: Wow.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Anyway, colorblind watching the teletubbies, how do you know which one's which?

Ron: Because of the markers on their head and cells are a lot like this, actually.

Ron: We have what are called glycoproteins all over our cells.

Ron: You don't need to write that down.

Ron: That's just what they are.

Ron: But essentially, they are kind of like little puzzle pieces on the outside of your cell.

Ron: Your cells can go around and then remember enzymes, it's all like lock and key.

Ron: They fit together.

Ron: So your cells will go around and they'll find one of your glycoproteins and be like, okay, yeah, this is Laura.

Ron: Carry on.

Ron: Okay?

Ron: Yes, this is Laura.

Ron: Carry on.

Ron: They come across what kind of disease would you get?

Ron: Like a norovirus.

Laura: But you mean what kind of disease would I get?

Laura: I don't know if I'm just paranoid today or you are being, like, really shady and then pretending and go like.

Ron: Oh, what do you mean, no noravirus?

Laura: Yeah, because of my potato salad.

Laura: It's all full of bacteria and then I'm pooping everywhere.

Ron: No, it's a virus, first off, and it's just because you usually have tum troubles, you're not much of a sniffler, so I thought you'd get a nora virus.

Laura: Maybe I will.

Ron: I'm very upfront with my derogatory things to say about you.

Ron: I said you were a potato salad kind of person.

Laura: Potato salad's, nice.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: See?

Ron: Anyway, what was I saying?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So then the norovirus is in there.

Ron: It doesn't have these markers.

Ron: It has other markers on it.

Ron: Your cells come along, they go, this.

Laura: Isn'T Laura Vagocytosis and that's my enzyme doing that.

Ron: Antibodies.

Ron: No, but no, these are just glycoproteins.

Ron: They're just markers on your cells.

Laura: But you said I don't need to write that down.

Ron: All cells you don't have to write down that they're glycoproteins.

Ron: Just remember that cells have tags about who you are.

Ron: It's like blood types.

Ron: Blood types are these.

Ron: So A, markers are a certain type of tag.

Ron: B markers are a different type of tag.

Ron: If you're AB, you've got both.

Ron: If you're O, you've got none.

Laura: I'm just writing down this puzzle bit.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Basically, yeah, they're just like markers.

Ron: It's like teletubby things.

Ron: All of Tinky Winky's cells have little triangles on sticks outside of them.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: And this goes for all cells.

Ron: So when a bacteria is inside you, it has its own s*** on the outside of it.

Ron: These are called antigens.

Ron: When we make antibodies, we make them to fit antigens.

Ron: So they lock onto each other?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: They're like lock and key puzzle pieces for each other.

Ron: So we will make specific antibodies for specific antigens that are on bacteria or any kind of pathogen, really.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: Is that the body making them or scientists?

Ron: We make them.

Ron: The body white blood cells on that.

Ron: I think that's what lymph nodes are for.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, we should do a science cover band called Limp Biscuit.

Ron: What's a limp biscuit.

Laura: Song keep rolling, roll of rolling, rolling, keep rolling it that one.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: What could we do?

Laura: Just one of those days feeling like a freight train that one, I think.

Laura: Is that limp biscuit?

Ron: One of those days feeling like a white blood cell?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Nailed it.

Ron: So there's a couple of different ways that we can use antibodies to fight stuff.

Ron: One of which is that once you've made an antibody once and you kind of got it, your white blood cells can then have that on their surface and it will mean that they identify that one pathogen so much better than they used to before because they don't have to manufacture the antibody anymore.

Laura: This is where so called immunizations work.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: So white blood cells, remember pathogens they fought before?

Ron: Sort of, yeah.

Laura: And they keep like a template for it.

Ron: So this is a bit above the level that you need to know.

Laura: For g, it doesn't matter.

Laura: It's going in.

Laura: They keep a template on their surface, and then they're more efficient second time.

Ron: So this is how clever your immune system is, Laura.

Ron: Not all white blood cells keep all of the stuff that you've run into before on their surface because obviously they're only so big.

Ron: But in your lymph nodes, you have white blood cells that basically act as libraries that have all the different ones.

Ron: And then when you detect the same thing again, they'll send a signal to your lymph nodes and be like, oh, could we get some anti chickenpox s*** down here, please?

Ron: 100,000 orders of white blood cells for chickenpox, please.

Ron: And then they'll produce those.

Ron: And that's why your lymph nodes will get swollen when you've got an infection, because they're just producing white blood cells and sending them out onto the streets.

Laura: Is that why they swell?

Ron: Whenever you really get a swelling, it's usually white blood cells heading to an area, like, if you know, if you get a cut and then it kind of swells up a little bit around the cut yeah, that's white blood cells flooding into the area to fight an infection.

Laura: That's so interesting that came up, that podcast that I was telling you about last week, about the AIDS crisis and the beginnings of it, there was a guy that had AIDS at the time, was HIV positive at the time, and he was talking about how people in the community, you'd compare glands with each other and be like, oh, yours are swollen.

Laura: Yeah, mine too.

Laura: And it was not uncommon to just all your friends sitting around to have these swollen glands together so that's your body fighting off all these infections that HIV had lowered, like, killed off your immune system.

Laura: So you were just infected with all sorts of different things.

Laura: Yeah, that sounds okay.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So that's one way is for sort of memory.

Ron: The other way is that your body can just produce antibodies and send them out on their own into your bloodstream.

Ron: Antibodies are kind of Y shaped, and then on the two tips, they will have the mesh for the antigen.

Ron: And what they can do is they can literally just bind onto the antigen of the pathogen that they're trying to fight and just kind of COVID it.

Ron: And then it won't be able to reproduce or enter your cells or do any of the nefarious things that it wants to do because it's just swamped with antibodies.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: And then the third way that white blood cells can help your body is antitoxin production.

Laura: Used a lot of different pens for this one.

Laura: Silver pen.

Laura: Antitoxins.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Which I'm just double checking.

Ron: I just want to double cheque.

Laura: My face looks droopy today.

Ron: My face.

Laura: Mine.

Laura: That's a little anti dimple there.

Laura: Other people have dimple.

Laura: I have a little pouch.

Laura: Can I play with my phone?

Ron: No.

Ron: Yeah, antitoxins.

Ron: I.

Ron: Believe just will just do the same thing.

Ron: They'll just bind to the toxin, stop it from toxifying you in the same way that an antibody can bind with the antigen.

Ron: Makes sense.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: If I'm honest, Ron, I didn't listen to the antibodies bit.

Laura: Is that going to be important?

Ron: But we talked about it.

Ron: You said it was interesting.

Laura: No, that was the other bit.

Laura: This is the why bit I didn't listen to.

Ron: Oh, just the last bit, the second one.

Ron: The second way that it helps.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: I thought we were talking about white blood cells before.

Ron: Yeah, the antibodies can be on the surface of white blood cells.

Ron: That's kind of where the memory the memory element comes from.

Laura: It okay.

Ron: I wonder if we'll get flanked again for this, because we're going to do vaccination and celebration.

Laura: I want the world to know that you're in love with me.

Ron: Are you on your phone, Laura?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Do you want to see something cool?

Ron: Laura, how does a vaccination work?

Laura: Put a tiny bit in your body.

Ron: And then suitcase out the van because.

Laura: It.

Ron: Ask questions.

Laura: Like water.

Laura: Sea.

Ron: Is water when it fools and all since working on La La.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So you put a little bit of a disease in you along with a little microchip, and then wherever you go and wherever you think the government can read it and sell that data and then you never have autonomous thought again.

Laura: Stat.

Ron: Close.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: No, you burn a little bit in and then your body can kind of just go, grump, grump, grump.

Laura: I deal with that.

Laura: And then it means that when you put more in, your body knows how to fight it already.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Can you relate that back to anything that we just chatted about?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So you're a little bit in and then the white blood cells put a bit of playdoh onto the shape of that bug and then take that back and use that as a mould for loads more.

Laura: Put it in the lymph node library.

Ron: Aces.

Ron: Well done.

Ron: Yes, that's absolutely right.

Ron: So vaccinations and there are and celebrations.

Laura: I want the world to know that you're in love with me.

Ron: There are a couple of different ways that they can work.

Ron: Sometimes you can just release antigens into it and then they will pick those up and then produce their antibodies for the antigens.

Ron: Sometimes you use what's called like an attenuated virus, which is basically where they take the virus, but they like chop its knob off or something and then it can't reproduce.

Ron: But you still get that got to.

Laura: Do with my knob.

Laura: Lovely bit of string.

Laura: It's all right for you, it's just a hobby.

Laura: You've got a pension and stuff.

Laura: It's just what I'm doing with my life.

Ron: Nice bit of blue glass.

Laura: A Philo grisamav by a saw, ron, just so that I've got it because I don't feel like it's clear.

Ron: What is an antigen an antigen is one of these Tinky Winky triangles on a pathogen.

Laura: So that's the shape on a pathogen and then what's?

Laura: An antibody is the shape on a white blood cell.

Ron: The antibody is something that binds with an antigen in one of the two ways that we said so either for the white blood cell to recognise it or to sort of swarm it with antibodies and shut it down.

Ron: That way.

Laura: Binds with the antigen and that's swarm or recognition.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Because it's all just like key in the playdoh.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: It's all just about shapes fitting together.

Laura: And then an antitoxin is like an antibody for toxins, not pathogens.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So there'll be a toxin in there.

Ron: The toxin will be a certain shape, the antitoxin will bind with that and stop it from doing its things.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: So you can think of the toxins as being like tubby toast.

Ron: And then there would be an anti tubby toast that is a face outwards that the tubby toast can fit into.

Ron: Kind of the tubby toast maker.

Ron: Like a waffle iron.

Ron: Probably would be an anti tubby toast.

Laura: Yeah, it's something in it.

Laura: Lovely bit of string.

Ron: Here's a question, though, Laura.

Ron: When did you hit the age of not believing?

Laura: Oh, very late.

Laura: I had one of those shameful memories the other day of Mum mum really trying to convince me that Father Christmas wasn't real before I went to secondary school so I wouldn't get bullied.

Laura: No, I think he is.

Laura: And she was, like, telling he isn't.

Laura: And I was like, no, I think he is.

Laura: There was no point where I was like, I've got some suspicions.

Laura: I was like, Yep, seems legit.

Laura: Okay, everyone.

Laura: And then she was like, you should know this before you go to secondary school.

Ron: You didn't think reindeer were real.

Laura: Why would I?

Ron: That's fair.

Ron: What's your favourite vaccine?

Laura: Smallpox.

Laura: Because that looks truly horrific.

Ron: Well, smallpox was an interesting one because you know the story with the milkmaid cows?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Because milkmaids would get cowpox and their cows, and then if you had cowpox, you couldn't get smallpox because the antigens on each must be similar enough that after you've had cowpox, smallpox will trigger the immune response.

Laura: I didn't know that.

Laura: Was it Louis Pasteur did smallpox?

Ron: No, Louis Pasteur did Pasteurisation.

Ron: That council related.

Laura: It was Albert vaccine that did vaccines, wasn't it?

Ron: I can't remember if it's Lister or Fleming hang.

Ron: It's one of them.

Ron: Hang on.

Laura: Oh, Lister.

Laura: Rings a bell.

Ron: Listerine.

Ron: Sorry.

Ron: Edward Jenner.

Laura: Jenner Jenna.

Laura: Yeah, I remember him.

Ron: You've done that whole bit on National Treasures.

Ron: I think all of these things have happened.

Ron: I think you asked if it was sleepy pasta.

Ron: I think Will taught you that was Pasteurisation.

Ron: I think he then wasn't sure.

Ron: I think then you Googled it and then you did a Jenner joke.

Laura: Well, at least now you know that it's not just this podcast I don't learn anything on.

Ron: Right.

Ron: Let's finish vaccines, eh?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Quote vaccination involves introducing small quantities of dead or inactive.

Ron: You can call that attenuated forms of a pathogen into the body to stimulate the white blood cells to produce antibodies.

Ron: If the same pathogen reenters the body, the white blood spelled the white blood cells, the white blood cells respond quickly to produce the anti to produce the correct antibodies, preventing infection.

Laura: Yep.

Ron: Students do not need to know details of vaccination schedules and side effects associated with specific vaccines.

Ron: Did they?

Laura: Shady.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Students can find all that on YouTube.

Laura: Tell them to just Google the problems.

Ron: With vaccines and I think that's probably a good place to leave it for today.

Laura: Yeah, all right.

Laura: I like that.

Laura: I like knowing what a lymph node is.

Laura: That makes sense now as to why, when I really remember if cancer gets in your lymph nodes, that's when it's super hard to treat beans.

Laura: And that makes sense now, because the lymph nodes are your Ministry of Defence.

Ron: Yeah, the lymph nodes are super important.

Ron: Yeah, there's loads of them as well.

Laura: Riddles?

Laura: I hope so.

Laura: Let's make more.

Ron: More.

Laura: My hair is tangled.

Laura: My hair is tangled.

Ron: All right, well, I'll see you for Toasty Chat and then for that, I'll see you for the quiz.

Laura: Yeah, all right.

Laura: I'm not doing any more Toasty chat.

Ron: New segment?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: It was a good episode.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And I hope you've put some effort into the quiz.

Ron: You won't notice the difference between me putting effort in and I will.

Laura: I notice when your question is, what did I have for lunch last week?

Laura: And when it's what's fibromytosis?

Ron: Laura students should be able to describe the nonspecific defence systems of the human body against pathogens.

Ron: Can you name all four?

Laura: Your skin.

Ron: Ding.

Laura: White blood cells.

Ron: No.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: No.

Laura: Yeah, they definitely are.

Laura: Acid in your mouth and stuff.

Laura: Acid.

Laura: Acid.

Laura: No, acid.

Ron: Stop.

Ron: Just saying acid.

Ron: Although it does say stomach on the list, so I can see that.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Thank you.

Laura: Antibodies.

Laura: Antigens.

Ron: No, they're specific defence systems.

Laura: For f***'s sake.

Laura: Why did I write down so much stuff about white blood cells if they're.

Ron: Not even there will be more questions.

Laura: Well, I don't know, then, other than those four, you've only got two.

Laura: I said antibodies.

Laura: Antigens.

Laura: White blood cells.

Ron: Yeah, I'm saying non specific.

Laura: What did you say?

Ron: Non specific defence systems.

Laura: I don't know what that means.

Ron: Well, an antigen, if you'd written it down, is specific to a certain pathogen.

Ron: It's specific.

Laura: What am I supposed to say?

Laura: Just immune system.

Ron: Well, like your skin.

Laura: I said skin.

Ron: Yeah, I'm using that as an example because you said it.

Ron: I'm not just going to give you another answer.

Laura: Why not?

Laura: Go on.

Ron: See, you don't like it when I get hardball with the quizzes, but what.

Laura: Else is there, then?

Ron: Apart from skin in your stomach?

Ron: Lo.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Immune system.

Ron: No.

Laura: Your eyes.

Laura: Your eyes are wet.

Laura: Wet.

Ron: Not on the list.

Laura: Saliva.

Laura: Saliva?

Ron: Yeah, sure.

Ron: The other two on the list are your nose.

Laura: No, f*** off.

Laura: That wasn't one.

Ron: And your trachea and bronchi.

Laura: No, this is just bullshit.

Laura: Those aren't things that we talked about.

Laura: Take them away.

Ron: Two out of four marks there, Laura.

Laura: No, I'm going to put in an appeal.

Laura: That's not right.

Ron: White blood cells can help to defend against pathogens by three available answers here.

Laura: Phagocytosis, which is eating up bodies.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Antibody production, which is getting the little teletubby marker that's the same as the bacteria and cancelling it out.

Ron: Close enough.

Laura: Antitoxins?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: What are they?

Laura: They would bind to a toxin to neutralise it.

Ron: Good.

Ron: Three out of three there, Laura.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: Thank you.

Laura: My beautiful book.

Laura: I'm starting to feel about my book like Winnie in Hocus Pocus book.

Ron: I haven't seen it.

Laura: You've never seen Hocus pocus?

Ron: Not since I was a kid.

Ron: Like, not in that's great.

Laura: That's why you didn't join us for the watch party of the new one, then.

Ron: Yeah, it would have been lost on me.

Ron: It'd have been a downer.

Laura: You are a downer.

Ron: Students should be able to explain the use of antibiotics and other medicines in treating disease.

Laura: I wasn't listening.

Laura: What did you say?

Ron: Students should be able to explain the use of antibiotics and other medicines in treating disease.

Laura: Right.

Laura: They're not just going to do it unprompted, though, are they?

Laura: Because students are cool.

Laura: So maybe ask a question.

Ron: Can antibiotics kill bacterial pathogens?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Viral?

Laura: No.

Ron: Two marks?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Explain antibiotic resistance in broad terms.

Laura: Antibiotic resistance would be like if you were taking antibiotics and you had to combat something.

Laura: But basically like the antibiotics would be fighting the bacteria, but you wouldn't take enough of the antibiotics to wipe out that bacteria, so the bacteria would learn how to fight the antibiotics.

Laura: And so then next time they encountered those same antibiotics, they wouldn't be defeated by them.

Ron: Very true.

Ron: How do they learn?

Laura: By fighting them and evolving, I guess.

Ron: Evolving?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Hold on, Laura, I don't think we talked about that.

Ron: You just worked all of that out.

Laura: Yeah, I feel like that's come up a lot.

Laura: Like in the whole Therese Coffee sort of having a bowl of antibiotics in her foyer that she lets people have when they pop round, you know.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And when people are like, you must finish a course of antibiotics, that sort of makes sense.

Laura: If you don't quite tip it over the edge and wipe it out with those antibiotics, then they just work it out later.

Laura: Yeah, kind of the opposite, but of immunisation, isn't it?

Laura: In a little way, kind of, yeah.

Ron: Because what you do is basically you kill off most of them and then you only leave the ones that are resistant to the antibiotic and then they breed and replace all of the other ones because you've killed all of their mates.

Ron: And then if you take a little bit more then.

Ron: Yeah, it's survival of the fittest.

Ron: You remember when we were talking about the little reindeer with selective pressures?

Ron: Antibiotics just becomes like a rat carpet, basically.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And yeah, that's probably a good quiz, isn't it?

Ron: That was nice.

Laura: That was very good.

Laura: Well done.

Laura: Thanks for thanks for doing that, Ron.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Ten marks for your antibiotic resistance question.

Ron: 20 marks.

Laura: I got 1000% on that quiz.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Well done, winner.

Laura: All right, Ron.

Laura: Bye.

Laura: There you go.

Laura: That was pretty chill, wasn't it, Ron?

Ron: Yes.

Laura: I liked that episode.

Laura: I thought we weren't as mad at each other as usual.

Ron: I think after down three, then you get back into biology.

Ron: It's a bit calmer.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I wanted to say, the podcast that I mentioned, I've put a link in the show notes for this.

Laura: It's called Fiasco by Leon Nayfuck, and that is the podcast about the HIV crisis and it was really worth listening to.

Laura: So, yeah, there's a link there in the notes for this, so do go and give that a listen.

Laura: You're obviously a podcast listener and there's actual real facts in that without people screaming at each other.

Laura: The other thing I thought could be fun this week, we haven't introduced a new game in a while, but lovely Ally on Twitter made us an advert, which just made me so happy when I was watching it, I was like, oh, you've just created this little advert.

Ron: Better than anything we've ever put out.

Laura: You shut your f****** mouth.

Laura: I spend f****** hours making us little clips every oh, God, Nocky.

Laura: Climb on his balls again.

Laura: Scrape down his nips like a cat.

Laura: Anyway, so I thought it could be a fun lecture curricular activity.

Laura: Why doesn't everybody have a goat making us an advert, then?

Laura: I can take a week off making adverts and a fun game for you.

Laura: How would you advertise Lexx education?

Laura: Let's see your best drawings, your best pictures.

Laura: Maybe you could compile a collection of your favourite clips.

Ron: What about this, Laura?

Ron: We'll do a competition on them.

Ron: Winner gets to suggest a patreon app.

Laura: Yeah, I love it.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: And maybe feature on it.

Laura: Why don't we do that?

Laura: No, no, we're not actually going to record with them.

Laura: Yuck.

Laura: We don't meet new people.

Laura: That's horrible.

Laura: But they could send us a voice note if they wanted to.

Ron: Oh, yeah.

Laura: No, Ron, we're not letting anybody in our safe space.

Laura: We're too socially awkward for that.

Ron: This doesn't work with other people around.

Ron: That's why we had to make a podcast, otherwise we'd be successful outside.

Laura: We're both very nervous about having to try and do something with Dar.

Laura: O'Brien.

Laura: What if he just walks out after like, three minutes going, what the f*** was that?

Ron: Oh, goodness, don't.

Ron: I'm so nervous.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Anyway, so there you go.

Laura: Have a go making an advert.

Laura: Right, ron, the register, it's not in the notes, so you'll have to in the f****** spreadsheet.

Laura: Why don't you put it in the notes that we make frequently?

Ron: Oh, because I do it last minute.

Ron: There you go.

Ron: It's up at the top.

Laura: For some reason, I hate you.

Ron: Do you want to go first or second?

Laura: I will go first.

Laura: Right.

Laura: First up.

Laura: Hello, patron.

Laura: Ellen Moss.

Laura: Thanks for being a patron, Ellen.

Laura: Ellen makes unpopular egg timers that boil eggs how Laura likes them by continually sucking sand from the bottom bit.

Laura: Back up the tube via back up to the top via a tube, ensuring your eggs are dusty and dry.

Ron: Next up, I'd like to say thank you to Neil Mackey for being a patron.

Ron: He is the presenter of the cult hit TV show Finding Raggedy, where they go off into the woods to look for wild Raggedies.

Ron: They talk to locals about recent raggedy sightings and they make raggedy course to try and entice them.

Laura: Oh, a big patreon.

Laura: Thank you.

Laura: Hello, fabret.

Laura: Andrew.

Laura: Andrew lives at number ten, down Ing Street.

Laura: They are not the prime minister of the U.

Laura: K.

Laura: They're the prime minister of s***.

Laura: Physics.

Ron: And finally, thank you to Kat Slater, the benevolent, smiling baby son overlord that laughs at our problems here in the colorblind Talbe realm.

Ron: They know not of pain, they know not of the sweat on a person's brow after a hard day's labour.

Ron: They know nothing of love or permanence or self.

Ron: They are the sun and they know us.

Ron: Smiling, blazing, radiating the energy that the world needs to survive.

Ron: And laughing.

Ron: Always laughing.

Laura: Wow.

Laura: Really felt like I could feel your frustration with Yoki in.

Laura: That was intense, wasn't it?

Laura: Listen, thank you to all the listeners, whether you're a patron or not.

Laura: Obviously the money helps, but hey, any listeners are listening and we love you for it.

Laura: Thank you very much for coming and we'll see you next week with another blazing episode.

Laura: Unless you're a patron and then you're getting another episode on Friday afternoon.

Laura: Just what you need to brighten up your weekend.

Laura: Okay, that's enough from us.

Laura: Goodbye.

Ron: Goodbye.

Ron: I'm Ron.

Ron: No, I didn't say hello.

Ron: I'm Ron.

Ron: So I thought I'd get that one in otherwise.

Ron: Cluster Smith, everybody.

Laura: Just doing this constant striking of Yucky to stop and jowbing into your head again.

Ron: She perks up at the worst times.

Ron: Never seen her all day.

Ron: And then the second I sit down to do the nice part of my day, there she is, joining you for it.

Laura: She wants to be part of it.

Ron: She's not part of it.

Laura: Maybe you should put her in the register one week so that she feels involved.

Ron: She's quite happy making herself feel involved.

Ron: She's just pushed her head under my elbow, in between my elbow and the chair.

Laura: Nice.

Ron: You're an idiot.

Ron: You say class dismissed.