Enormous Cheese Manta Ray

 Enormous Cheese Manta Ray

Lex Education is the comedy science podcast where comedian Laura Lex tries to learn science

Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education. It's the comedy science podcast where comedian, that's me, Laura Lex tries to learn science from her nerdy, normal, non comedian brother.

Laura: Wrong. Shut up.

Laura: Duolingo family plan. That is not a paid for ad from Duolingo.

Ron: Uh, you invited me to a Duolingo family plan and then thusly cancelled it two days later.

Laura: Well, it was a week free trial run.

Ron: Oh, I see.

Laura: Listen, if I found out anything about you this week, it's that you should be funding the family's Duolingo habit.

Ron: Well, Brian, I think it's fine for us all to watch some ads, uh.

Laura: But don't you find those frickin Royal Kingdom ads are so long.

Ron: Yeah, I'm never doing more than one lesson. Uh, to either lesson. Ad starts, phone goes back in pocket.

Laura: Uh, ah, no, I like to do two to three.

Ron: No, I don't.

Laura: I do.

Laura: And I've got like an annoying thing at the moment where I was chatting to somebody the other day about booting the algorithm and stuff because you know, obviously I do my vids and um, oh, they were saying like TikTok favours your videos in the feed if you watch a lot of videos yourself. So now I'm kind of trying to do this thing where every time I'm not using my phone I just leave it on TikTok and every now and again swipe a little bit and then I'm not actually watching them but it is annoyingly working and getting me more views. But what a fucked up world we live in.

Ron: It's not the most fucked up thing I've heard about TikTok.

Laura: No, no.

Ron: I've heard that it will favour your videos if your face is more symmetrical.

Laura: Interesting. Nothing about me is symmetrical.

Ron: No, not that fringe.

Laura: I've unsymmetrified.

Laura: It's looking a little.

Laura: It was looking a bit better today. I have no idea what it looks like right now. Um, it's a bit better. No, I think I blow dried it better. Your hair looks really good today, Ron.

Ron: Thank you. I put in a bit more of the mango stuff.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Did you see, by the way, that.

Laura: There was a, an apology from Blue Gnu for saying you look like a.

Ron: Dirty wizard, Grubby wizard. Yes, I did see that and I meant to reply then I didn't, so I'll do it now. I wasn't really offended but I do appreciate the apology. Um, and um, I'll caution you to watch your mouth next time.

Laura: I think Blue Glee made the point very succinctly. That actually being a grubby wizard is not necessarily a bad thing, Ron.

Ron: No, but I'm.

Laura: I think you just don't want to be a grubby wizard.

Ron: No, I think I, um. I mean, I'm getting out of the age where it's anything to brag about, but I've always been quite a clean boy.

Laura: Was that ever anything to talk about?

Ron: Yeah, like if you're hanging out with teenage boys all the time, being clean and smelling nice, um, is a virtue.

Laura: And yet you were still single all the time.

Ron: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's desperately unfuckable. But not because I smell bad.

Laura: You were just very friend zoned, weren't you?

Ron: Well, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't put it that way now. No.

Laura: Um, not now. I hope Judith hasn't friend zoned you.

Ron: No, no, I mean, as in like this, like, there's nothing wrong with just being friends with people. That's okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Um, but you were clean.

Ron: Um, I was a very clean boy.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, you're way cleaner than me. You shower every day. Yeah, I don't.

Ron: It's part of the getting going rich. Like I can't leave the house until I've had a shower. That's why I showered this morning, because I had to go to the shop. Fucking, uh, needed some oat milk.

Laura: Mhm. Oh, you left a whole carton at my house.

Ron: Whack it in the freezer.

Laura: Um, it's gone now.

Ron: Alpro oat milk. This probably nothing to you. Like you don't drink it. Alpro oat milk in Belgium is €4 55.

Laura: Gosh.

Laura: What does that mean?

Ron: Well, I mean, it's like £1 80 in the UK, if not cheaper than that. Insane.

Laura: Thank God we left the EU then. Otherwise we'd be paying that for our oat milk.

Ron: I don't think that's how it works, but I don't know enough to dispute it.

Laura: Um, but isn't Brussels just crazy expensive anyway?

Ron: Yeah, rent is cheaper than other cities in a similar size and, you know, stuff to do. But

00:05:00

Ron: groceries are so expensive here. But then it's also very like shop by shop. So, um, I can even shops at the same chain. Um, like if like Judith just started ordering stuff from a different one and it's brought the price down by like 40% even though it's still a Carrefour.

Laura: Oh, wait, yeah, but is it like Carrefour? Do they have like Carrefour Express?

Brussels 2.0 is all about immersing yourself in local community

Like we have Tesco Express and Tesco.

Ron: Yeah, I think it's a biggie A biggie one.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: See, the biggies, man. That's how they get away with it. Do they have all sorts of club card shenanigans?

Ron: Yes, but, um, it's. I don't. I don't know any of them.

Laura: Uh, Ron, you need to get involved. Brussels 2.0 is all about immersing yourself in the local community, and that is going to involve some club card shenanigans.

Ron: Yeah, agreed. Um, but, I mean, there's lots of stuff that would be different about Brussels.

Laura: 2.0, but I think club cards are gonna be the main factor in really, really becoming a part of the Brussels scene.

Ron: I do remember when my life was collapsing and grief summer was starting, that I did wish I'd earned some more Delhaize points before leaving.

Laura: Exactly. See, I think if you'd really known. Like, picture the scene, Ron. You really know where the best deals are in the local Carrefour. You're waiting at a tram stop, not a bus stop, because it's trams over there. Whoa, culture. And somebody tries to strike up conversation with you because you look so clean and you smell so good. And you've got small talk about where to get some bangin cherry tomatoes at a reasonable price. Suddenly you've got a friend, Ron. They invite you to the local board game cafe. Suddenly you've got two friends, Ron. You bond over how photosynthesis isn't as good as you thought it would be, but you're glad you tried it. And, um, man, aren't these toasties? And then suddenly they're back at your house. You're making them homemade toasties. You're explaining that in Australian MasterChef they're called Jaffles. What's Australian MasterChef? Says one of your new friends in French or German or Swiss, I can't remember what.

Laura: The other thing is that they speak.

Laura: In Brussels and Belgian, and Suddenly you've got nine friends all hanging out, having an Australian MasterChef binge.

Ron: I can't wait.

Laura: What pretty picture I've painted for you.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Uh, Dutch. They don't speak German here.

Laura: They don't speak German, though.

Ron: No. It's one of the official languages of Belgium, but nowhere in Brussels speaks German.

Laura: Is that, like, out of spite because of the war?

Ron: No, I think it's because it's quite far away from the border.

Laura: Uh, uh, Swiss isn't a language other space.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: Switzerland's another place where they have, like, Swiss, French, French and German. Yeah, but don't they have different versions of French and German?

Ron: Yeah, But I think it's more like a dialect than a language.

Laura: Got ya. Owl. As opposed to owl. For example.

Ron is missing his anniversary party because he's on a Sweden trip

Ron: Going back to Switzerland next month.

Laura: Yeah, I heard you're missing my anniversary party.

Ron: Yeah, because you've booked it without asking anyone when they're free. And I'm on this Sweden trip that I've been talking about for literally, like six months.

Laura: Ron, do you think there might be anything to the date that we've chosen for our 10th wedding anniversary?

Ron: Yeah, it's probably your wedding anniversary.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So there you go.

Ron: Maybe give us a heads up if you want people to come.

Laura: I did. I told you months ago. And, um, I'm giving you three months notice of the official venue being chosen.

Ron: I'm in Sweden.

Laura: Well, you aren't coming to the party of the year then.

Ron: I'm, um, coming to. I think she's probably away.

Laura: Yeah, she's in Brighton. Coming to my party.

Ron: That would be nice for you.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: You, Tom and Judah. No one else is free.

Laura: Well, I hope people come. If that happens, I'll open up the invite to the Lab Rats because there's quite a high minimum spend, so I need a lot of people to come and drink.

Ron: Where are you having it? Oh, cool. Yeah, in, uh, one of the side.

Laura: Rooms, the top floor.

Ron: Oh, that might have been where I've had a work Christmas due before. We had budget for 44. 17 showed up. It was great.

Laura: Nice. It can fit 150.

Ron: Maybe a different room.

Laura: It's the top one with all the balconies.

Ron: Yeah, different room. M. We. Our room was for 44.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: No, this is bigger. Then. Um. Right, Ron, this episode, do we need to apologise or should we just apologise afterwards?

Ron: Look, I think I said this last time. We fucked something up. Professional podcasting is not about making apologies. It's about barreling forwards and making the next episode. Great.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: Ah, shall I redo my Rundon Bridge is falling down a bit? No. Well, we just did an intro, but the microphone was muted. Um, I was just about to apologise for any rustling noises you might hear. That's duvet noise. Yeah, we've got a little cute twin bed recording setup going on still.

Ron: At the Leicester Comedy Festival.

Laura: We've done so much recording while we're here, Ron.

Ron: Yeah, it's good.

Laura: Um, it's very good. And I'm just pausing to take some socials photos. I don't know why I'm doing it while we're recording. Stop pointing lights in my eyes, you KGB operative.

The Leicester Festival show is today. I'm really excited about this one

Um, yeah, the Leicester Festival show is today. I'm really excited about this one.

Ron: Mmm. It'll be fun.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So we're not talking about science for all of it.

Laura: No, we're doing some history. Also. The last live one we did, Child of the Podcast, was there and it was quite stressful for me and I felt a little bit out of it. Whereas this one, I'm, um, like, focused.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And I've done most of my shows for this weekend now. It's been a very hectic couple of days. Not for you so much, Ron. You've been playing a computer game and having a rest.

Ron: I've seen some shows, I went around. I did two museums.

Laura: Yeah, you did both of those museums the first morning we got here.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: More museums than you have.

Laura: Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah. I've been working.

Ron: Um, no repeat cuisines.

Laura: We have done no repeatsy cuisinesies. Although last night we were sort of drunkenly talking about Absolutely smashing that back into its box and having double Lebanese.

Ron: Yeah, the Lebanese food was good.

Laura: Big shout out to the Lebanese places. Lebanese place in the centre of Leicester that's like two doors down from the great DOSA place that we also really liked.

Ron: Here's how you can find it. Google crispy dosa.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Ignore that place.

Laura: No, no, no, do go there. I liked it there.

Ron: It was nice, but it wasn't as nice as. It's not the recommendation that we're currently.

Laura: No, no, but I'm not slating them is all. Um, but yeah, two doors down from there. In fact, it' two doors. Is it two doors? How does it work? There's one shop in between that's like a phone repair shop. And then you get the Lebanese place. And it was delicious.

Ron: It was great.

Laura: And if you want a cheat meal. Where was that Chinese place we went to? I got a two course meal for seven pound ninety.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I got a two course meal for more than that because I didn't realise it was gonna be quite that much food.

Laura: It was enormous. But it was good.

Ron: Yeah. Anyway, yesterday was only a two meal day, so that's fine.

Laura: Yeah. Is that true for me too? Yeah. I did have some cashew nuts.

Ron: That's fine.

Laura: Yeah, I know it's fine.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I'm a hungry girl.

Ron: Yeah. It's because. I think it's because you eat caramel eggs before bed.

Laura: I didn't eat the caramel egg before bed.

Ron: Are you telling me that's not a ritual that you. You have.

Laura: I've never eaten a caramel egg before bed. Having stuff before Bed doesn't bother me, Ron. Um, I can have a cup of tea and then lie down and go to sleep. Caffeine and all this stuff that you and younger sister of the podcast, like, it's past 5pm now. I can't have tea, I won't sleep. I will sleep.

Ron: It doesn't mean it's good for you.

Laura: What's it gonna do?

M liked the Lebanese more than the other one. It wasn't as smoky. Um, but that was much more citrusy

Make me a bit fat? Don't care. Ah, no.

Ron: Not having this conversation again, M. It'll.

Laura: Just put more glycogen in my muscles.

Ron: Don't eat caramel eggs before bed.

Laura: Well, then I had it for breakfast and, um, it still didn't really do anything. It's almost like the was a bad idea. Yesterday. I was really hungry all day, though, like, because we had that Lebanese and we were super full. Not as full as we were after the doses. I was painfully full after that enormous cheese manta ray. Um, but then as soon as, like, that food started to wear off and then it was like, it went, bam, I'm gone.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: But it was mostly diploma.

Ron: Good dip, though. Really good dip is my new favourite.

Laura: I liked the other one more, the M. Mutabal. Yeah.

Ron: I don't know the difference between a mutabal and a baba ganoush.

Laura: Oh, I thought it was really different. It wasn't as smoky. A baba ganoush is way smokier. Whereas that was more citrusy. Baba ganoush is like. I don't know if it's smoked paprika, but it's got that sort of like.

Ron: No, usually you grill the aubergine.

Laura: Yeah, it's got that, like, real. Because I never.

Laura: Sure.

Laura: I don't always like baba ganoush. Um, but that was much more citrusy and zesty. I really loved that cauliflower dip at the dosa place.

Ron: It was fine.

Laura: I liked it.

Ron: I wasn't that mad about the doses.

Laura: Yeah, but then you really like the Chinese place.

Ron: It was fine.

Laura: You said you'd put it above doses in our little.

Ron: Yeah, because I wasn't mad about the doses.

Laura: Fine.

00:15:00

Laura: I liked it.

Ron: I'm writing, uh, D and D One shot for M Monday to practise recording.

Laura: How many patrons are we off? D and D. Let's have a look.

Ron: Um, I was happy with this, so setting it at the very north of the world, like, in, like, a mountainy region. The tavern's called the Stiff Drink because sometimes your pint freezes.

Laura: Oh, I love it, Ron.

Ron: Yeah, I was happy with that.

Laura runs us through how a mass spectrometer works

Laura: What are we doing today? It's chemistry too, isn't it? Oh, I've missed out the R in chemistry. That does not bode well. 9th of February. Bless.

Ron: Three new patrons in the last 30 days. That's nice, isn't it?

Laura: That's lovely. Thanks. New patrons.

Ron: Chemistry. Can you remember what we were doing last time?

Laura: No. Electrolysis. The little vacuum cleaner. Bendy guy.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: That's not electronics.

Laura: What was he?

Ron: It's a mass spectrometer.

Laura: Mass spectrometry. That's it.

Ron: So the first thing I want you to do, Laura, is just run us through how a mass spectrometer works.

Laura: Don't say, ever say to someone. First thing I want you to is run us through. If they've got a sword, they'll kill you. Mass spectrometer is for measuring isotopes.

Ron: Sure.

Laura: And calculating how many different isotopes you have in a pack of oxygens or whatever. So you've got a big bendy pipe.

Ron: There's four different stages to spectrometry.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: First of all, it goes in the electromagnetic electrolysis. Something about electrons. In that section, you've got an electrical current going through. You fire charged electrons at, uh, your atoms and it, like, pings off electrons that are stuck to them. And then you. You've created a charge in the atom by making it lose electrons. Then they get attracted to a big positive wall and they go fast, fast, fast, fast, fast towards the wall. Um, then there's a corner with electromagnetic radiation, some kind of radiation firing out of it. And the speed and the weight. No, the weight and, um, the charge of the atom will have affected how fast it was going towards the big positive wall. And so then you. What does the electromagnetic radiation do? Hmm. Slows m it down or speeds it up, changes it slightly as it goes around this corner. And then there's a real tight door. And so the electromagnetic radiation, whatever that's doing, has to be very specific on the isotope to get it through the door. And then it, like, lands on some scales and gets weighed.

Ron: 70, 80%.

Laura: Yeah. Great.

Ron: You have a sample?

Laura: Yep.

Ron: You vaporise that sample?

Laura: Yep.

Ron: That's actually. That's like step naught. That doesn't even count.

Laura: Stepnaught. Invisible. Whoa.

Ron: Stepnaught.

Laura: Is that Judith?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: How's she? Ill again, but still better or worse than yesterday?

Ron: Worse, I think.

Laura: Oh, Judith.

Ron: The arm's bad. Uh.

Laura: Oh, Judith.

Ron: Vaporised.

Laura: Vaporised.

Ron: It goes into step one, which is ionisation. Um, gets ionised, like you said. We apply a voltage across that space, electrons ping in, across high voltage hits the particle, turns it into an ion.

Laura: So far, we Are word for word.

Ron: Knocks an electron out, uh, of orbit.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. Sometimes. What it'll do if you have a big molecule that you're using that spectrometry on, is the electron that it knocks out of orbit will be one, like in the middle, that's structurally integral, so it will

00:20:00

Ron: split it, but that still creates two ions then. See what I'm saying?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Then you have the acceleration again. You use a current, so you have an anode and a cathode. And then it's attracted.

Laura: Big positive wall.

Ron: Big positive wall. Start shooting there. Then you have the corner.

Laura: Yep.

Ron: It's not electromagnetic radiation. Do you know what electromagnetic radiation is?

We use varying strengths of magnetic field to bend ions around the corner

Laura: No.

Ron: Uh, light, X rays, microwaves, that's all electromagnetic radiation.

Laura: Is it just an electromagnet?

Ron: Yes. It's a magnet. Yeah. It's a magnetic field.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: We use varying strength of the magnetic field to bend these ions around the corner because they'll have. It will take different strengths of magnetic field to bend different ions around the corner. Do you remember we had the metaphor of if you had a ping pong ball and a bowling ball and you're trying to waft them around the corner? Uh, you're have to waft the bowling ball a lot harder. Yeah, that's why that changes it. And then yet you've got the detection plate at the end that basically registers the charge of the ion hitting it.

Laura: Oh. I think then I understood all of it. Except I'd forgotten how the magnet bit worked.

Ron: Yeah, but there's things you have to say and there's language you have to use.

Laura: I will never use it.

Ron: But then you're never gonna get 100%.

Laura: It's just not how I talk, Ron. Should be yesterday in my work in progress show, I forgot the word landscape and so said nature's architecture.

Ron: That's nice.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I'm hungry.

Laura: I'm hungry too.

Ron: Ron, where are we getting breakfast?

Laura: Are we getting free pizza or double Lebanese?

Ron: Are those the two options?

Laura: No. We've got the whole of Leicester at our foot. Footprints. But footsteps, fingerprints.

Ron: Uh, fingertips. Fingertips.

Laura: Feet.

Ron: It's nothing to do with feet.

Laura: Lester sits at my feet. Is that not a thing?

Ron: Sitting at your feet means it's like in servitude to you.

Laura: Yeah, it is. Yeah. There.

Ron: Let's say, um, Lester was rowdy yesterday.

Laura: Yeah. Oh, my God, I hated those students sat behind us so much. Oh, God. We get it. Fern, you like playing pool. Um.

Ron: Come on.

Ron: It's no fun if we can't heckle.

Laura: Um, at your fingertips, I think is.

Ron: Better yeah, that's what you mean.

Laura: Hey, phone in. If you've got a suggestion of where we should have breakfast, don't start Googling breakfast places. Let's just do the lesson so we can go and have breakfast. Yeah, me too, Ron.

Ron: Um, okay, so that's what we learned last time. I think you get it. Um, upon preparing for this lesson, why.

Laura: Are you making so much eye contact?

Ron: So that I'm speaking to the mic.

Laura: Oh.

Mass Spectrometer 2 is an ion drift mass M spectrometer

Ron: So upon preparing for this lesson, there's actually another type of mass spectrometer that we should have learned about as well.

Laura: Oh, no. Uh, now the two are gonna get confoozled in my boozle.

Ron: No, because it's basically all the same.

Laura: Okay, so Mass Spectrometer 2.

Ron: Uh, so you got the type that.

Ron: We'Ve learned about there.

Ron: That's an ion drift mass M spectrometer.

Ron: The ion drift is the bit where it goes around the corner, right?

Laura: Yeah, Ion drift. Need for drift.

Ron: Not all mass spectrometers.

Laura: Grip for drift. Drift for drift.

Ron: Some of them are called straight spectrometer. Time of flight spectrometers. It's a real crapshoot. Every time I say spectrometer exactly, it comes out of my mouth.

Laura: High on drift and time of flight. These feel like Mission Impossible films.

Ron: I can't wait for the next Mission Impossible film.

Laura: Me neither.

Ron: I love Ethan Hunt. Uh, the blandest character in the history of cinema.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Although while I mainly watch them for trash, Mission Impossible 3 is one of the best action movies ever made.

Laura: Is that the one with Thandie Newton?

Ron: No, that's Mission Impossible 2. And that film sucks.

Laura: I remember having to do some sort of lesson on that at GCSE music where we had a scene from it and we had to, like, make our own music for it.

Ron: That's fun.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: The Mission Impossible sound, um, uh, theme tune is in a very strange time signature, which is why it's got a kind of, like a weird kind of bounce to it.

Laura: I need a Weaver on. Oh, no, the room next door is woken up.

We've not eaten while we're recording, Ron says

Okay, well, okay, so time of flight spectrometer and a mass spectrometer. What was it called? An ionisation?

Ron: Ion drift.

Laura: Ion drift. Yeah. Great. Ion drift. Okay, so ion drift is the curly whirly, uh, corner by. What was that guy in the Raccoons with the serial sneer? The serial snare spectrometer. That's ion drift. Do you need to stop recording?

Ron: No, I'd like to talk about it.

Laura: Um, there might be some food in my bag. Do you want me to have a look? You can't eat another bed apple. You have to stop eating bed apples.

Ron: I don't know why that was.

Laura: There's some donuts in the bin. You thought about it, though. Let me check my bag.

Ron: No, we've not eaten while we're recording.

Laura: No, we're not. That's a good point.

Ron: Even though this isn't the most professional podcasting setup we've ever had, Ron, at.

Laura: This point, we just need to lean in to what people love we can't make.

Ron: We talked about being a professional podcast more than. We've done it in a level I.

Laura: Think we've done really well.

Laura: We're on lesson five. We've not eaten. There's been no audible farts. I muted it while I went for a wee. It was actually a poo. There's been no burping.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: What else do they want?

Ron: The background noise from the adjoining doors, probably.

Laura: I think they won't even hear that now that we found that new thing that only records us and not everything going on around.

Ron: We don't always record into garage band, so I don't know if that's helpful.

Laura: Yeah, but we edit in it, so.

Laura: Maybe if we turn on there.

Laura: I don't know, Ron.

Ron: Brave new world.

Laura: Let's find out.

Today we're going to learn how to read a mass spectrograph

Ron: So, anyway, time of flight.

Laura: Time of flight. Yes.

Ron: So all of these ions have a different mass. Yeah, that's kind of what. That's what we're measuring. Um, do you remember last time we were talking about when it goes to the acceleration phase?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: They all have the same kinetic energy.

Laura: Yes, that's very important.

Ron: Two things of different mass having the same kinetic energy means they will have.

Laura: A different flight speed.

Ron: They'll have a different speed. Exactly. Different velocity. Um, so a time of flight mass spectrometer will ionise the sample, uh, and then accelerate it and then measure how long it takes for everything to hit the end.

Laura: That seems much easier than this drift one.

Ron: Um, yes and no, because that requires you to know all of the ions left at exactly the same time.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Whereas the. The drift one, they can just be shooting constantly and then you just bury the thing and you. You see where it got to.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Okay, today we need to.

Laura: We should have stolen their deliveroo.

Ron: Yeah, she was right behind us.

Laura: Yeah, but we could have run.

Ron: Yeah, we could have taken her as well.

Laura: And I bet she didn't even have shoes on.

Ron: No, maybe not.

Laura: She was small and alone. If I know anything about women, it's that they're vulnerable when small and alone.

Ron: We're going to learn how to read a mass spectrograph.

Laura: Ooh, that sounds boring.

Ron: Yes, it's not the best.

Laura: This is a dry episode. Thank God we're hungry. Realistically though, Ron, um, we only have.

Laura: To do 10 more minutes.

Laura: Yeah, 10. Well, think about it. Then a 10 minute quiz, which is usually 12ish, and then a 1012 minute intro. That's an hour.

Ron: Yeah, great, great.

Laura: We're 10 minutes away from starting to get ready for breakfast.

Ron: Great. Um, the town that, ah, my DND one shot's in is called Craghook.

Laura: Oh, lovely.

Ron: Yeah, pretty good. I'm thinking the person that sets them on the journey is just gonna be called Fucker.

Laura: Right. Uh, do you know what, though? Having seen what your character on, um, Elden Ring, or whatever it was called it's called, I'm pleased with Fucker. That's better. I didn't think it was conceited.

Morticia Adams: Mass spectrum is what it's called

Ron: So, Laura. A Mass M spectrum.

Ron: That's what it's called.

Ron: Not a spectrograph.

Laura: Oh, I've written spectrograph.

Ron: Spectrograph is a nice word I've made up. It's called a mass spectrum. Um, on the Y axis, Y is up and down. Yeah. There you have relative abundance.

Laura: Oh, this is full of some lovely sentences. And the relative abundance in the Shire didst mean that Gandalf had a hard time convincing the little short guys to get involved in some ring issues. That's my translation coming soon.

Ron: And then on the X axis you've got the mass charge ratio represented by MZ M.

Laura: Mass charge ratio, huh? A political joke about what a guy who just sold a bit of weed got compared to the January 6th insurrectionists. Well done me.

Ron: Um, why is that a ratio?

Laura: What?

Laura: What? What?

Laura: Why is what a ratio?

Ron: The mass charge ratio. Why is the X axis a ratio?

Laura: Gosh, who knows? Who can remember? This was invented so long ago. We'll get it on the antiques ratio and we'll ask Kay Burley. No, who is it? Your nemesis, Fiona Bruce. Ugh. Ron hates Fiona Bruce.

Ron: There's a former Tory MP called Fiona Bruce that's a different Fiona Bruce.

Laura: Which one is it you hate? Both.

Ron: It turns out.

Laura: It'S quite an early lesson for us to have achieved nothing.

Ron: Why is it ratio, mate?

Laura: I don't know. I don't really know what you're asking. What does that mean?

Ron: Or do you remember?

Laura: What's this, man? He looked like a sleeping water otter.

Ron: That's the nicest thing you've said to me in a while. Do you remember, um.

Laura: Oh, ah, look at my garlic invention.

Ron: Dog shit. Don't think you understand things.

Laura: I'm gonna get it made for you for your 30th birthday. What about if it had a little bit of cross hatching?

Ron: Then it's hard to clean.

Laura: Because it's really, really thin.

Ron: Then it's just the same as your dog shit garlic thing.

Laura: No, because that's got spikes. Those are like three or four millimetres.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I'm talking like a one millimetre crosshatch.

Ron: I, uh, think it might work if it was like stone and then it just.

Laura: But then it'll smell all the time.

Ron: Of garlic.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Lovely. So during the ionisation.

Laura: Yep.

Ron: Stage.

Ron: Do you remember we were talking about how, um. Usually it only knocks one electron out?

Laura: Ooo.

Ron: But there are certain ions that could form that might have more of a charge.

Laura: This isn't a good episode.

Ron: Why not?

Laura: We're very hungry.

Ron: But you remember that.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And then everything else in the mass spectrometer is then operating on me is then all to do with the charge of it. Right. Because you've got the acceleration which is about the. The acceleration which is.

Laura: Just shut that light out, Helil. I'm Morticia Adams.

Ron: That's the latest thing you've said to me since the auto. Um. What was I saying? See, so you've got the acceleration and you've got the ion drift bit.

Laura: When you're hungry, you're like me.

Ron: What do you mean?

Laura: You can't focus and you don't care and you're distracted and playing with things.

Ron: I haven't eaten for, like, 20 hours.

Laura: Me neither.

Laura: Except for some cashew nuts, which I just pooped out.

Ron: I didn't even have those. So.

Laura: I said we should get night pizza.

Ron: You did. Well, you kind of did, but they weren't serving.

So even if I'd been like. Um. You listening to me? Yeah. Three more minutes, Ron. That's all you got a

So even if I'd been like. Yeah, giddy up.

Ron: Um.

Ron: You listening to me?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Just you stopping and starting and I don't follow you when you explain things. Lovely. Three more minutes, Ron.

00:35:00

Laura: That's all you got a pad for.

The mass charge ratio measures the difference between the charge and the mass

So everything we've done nothing.

Ron: Everything in the mass spectrometer is our kingdom.

Laura: But don't go beyond the curvy.

Ron: And Simba is to do with the. Is to do the fact that it's ionised. So if something's got a charge of two plus rather than one plus, then it's gonna get affected by all of that stuff twice as much. Right?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Does that make sense to you?

Ron: Are you just saying.

Ron: Yeah. Because you're hungry.

Laura: Uh. That makes sense. It's gonna have a faster speed.

Laura: Towards the wall. The magnet's gonna affect it more.

Ron: Yeah. But then the mass of it is gonna still affect it the same. So then what we're essentially measuring is just that ratio between the charge and the mass most of the time.

Laura: Oh, so it's like a mass to charge ratio. Yeah. Not the charge of the mass. No, that wasn't clear.

Ron: The mass charge ratio.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Master chartreuse.

Laura: Yeah, I get that now. I've written a little too.

Ron: Oh, great.

Ron: So, Laura.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Um, what I'm going to send you. Ooh, if you look at your Vicabee. No, not Vicipedia.

Laura: WhatsApp, which I haven't even opened yet today, by the way.

Ron: Well done. Everyone thinks you're dead. That is.

Laura: It's figure 7.

Ron: A mass spectrum of a chlorine sample.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Can you explain the different peaks on it?

Laura: Um, yes. So up the relative abundance. Uh, it's a percentage. So from 0 to 100, then what have we got on this master charge ratio? We've got 35 and 37, I guess we've got 80% 35s. About 20% 37s. Then we've got 70, 72, 74, and we're looking at 80, 75 and about 15 megazoids metres per zygote.

Ron: What's the charge ratio?

Laura: It's charge Z. Yeah. That's insanity. Um, and that's what's happening there.

Ron: Can you explain the different peaks?

Laura: No.

Ron: Look at a periodic table.

Laura: Stop clutching your bed sheets.

Ron: Oh.

Laura: Uh, so is that like we've got 80%, 35 chlorines, you know, 35 weight chlorines, and we've got about 20%, 37 weight chlorines.

Ron: Chlorine 37.

Laura: Yeah, chlorine 37.

Ron: So those are ions.

Laura: Um, isotopes. Isotopes.

Ron: What about at the top end?

Laura: Uh, we've got loads and loads of chlorine 70.

Ron: How does chlorine exist in a molecule?

Laura: So, screen's gone. Uh. Oh, well, that makes sense then, because chlorine 35 is the most common chlorine. So those are molecules of chlorine 35.

Ron: Because it exists as a molecule.

Laura: Yeah, In a pair.

Ron: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: And then we've got some 72s. So that's probably a 35 and a 37 have joined together. And then we've got some 74s, which is 237s. They're quite rare.

Ron: Yeah. Great.

Laura: Should we get breakfast now?

This isn't good, is it? See you for the quiz

Ron: Um, no, let's do the last bit as well. Um, where.

Ron: What?

Ron: Where are you actually, yeah, let's just.

Laura: Go this isn't good.

Ron: This isn't good, is it?

Laura: See you for the quiz.

Laura: Okay, recording. Hi.

Ron: How are you doing?

Laura: Yeah, I'm good. Let's save this for the episode though.

Ron: Okay. Um, hang on. Sip of tea.

Laura: Not professional. Ron.

Ron: It's not eating, is it?

Laura: But it's mid episode for our darling listeners who've joined this thinking they're getting goal hanger level podcasts.

Ron: Well, no, they're not because they're half. They're halfway through this episode, aren't they?

Laura: Oh, yeah. This is a

00:40:00

Laura: bleak spot in Lex Education 2.0 where we have been absolutely smashing so far. This episode is the first indicator that it's not gonna last.

Ron: No. Um, and I think in the interest of professional podcasting, we'll probably run through that chemistry stuff again.

Laura: Why?

Laura: No, no, this is a quiz.

Ron: No, no, no, not now.

Laura: Oh, thank God.

Ron: Okay, next chemistry we'll do that because it'll probably take five minutes.

How do you feel about trying to name all 50 US states

Um, so we will do a quiz today, but I thought. How do you feel about trying to name all 50 US states?

Laura: Oh, yeah. Okay.

Ron: All right, I've got up.

Laura: Wow, you really, really are on gardening. Sparkle has re entered your life only for this.

Ron: You ready?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Hit me.

Laura: Okay. Washington.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Columbia.

Ron: Four minutes. Laura, go.

Laura: Columbia. No, Colorado. Sorry.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Florida. Texas. New Mexico. Utah. Nevada. Minnesota.

Ron: 7.

Laura: Michigan. Wisconsin. Montana. Maryland.

Laura: What?

Ron: That's a good one. Montana.

Laura: Maine, Connecticut. New Hampshire. Delaware. New York. Vermont. Pennsylvania.

Ron: New England.

Laura: Illinois. Iowa.

Ron: Good one.

Laura: Idaho.

Ron: Good one.

Laura: Kentucky.

Ron: Oops, she's going Bible belt.

Laura: Tennessee, Louisiana. Georgia. Mississippi. Alabama.

Laura: Is that a state?

Ron: Everyone is gonna. Yes, everyone's gonna really hear me fucking up the spelling of Mississippi. There. We're on 28.

Laura: South Dakota. North Dakota. South Carolina. North Carolina. West Virginia. Virginia.

Ron: 16 left to go.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Uh, a couple of the big ones missing.

Laura: Oh, interesting. Uh, New Jersey. Rhode Island.

Ron: She is going off Miss Congeniality now.

Laura: Yeah. Uh, California.

Ron: There we go.

Laura: Uh, Oklahoma. Oregon.

Ron: Of trail fame. Yes.

Laura: I think I'm missing a lot in the Northwest.

Ron: No, you're not.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Ron: You're missing a lot in the middle M. You're missing both of the non contiguous ones. Oh.

Laura: Hawaii. And Alaska. Thanks, Ron.

Ron: Beautiful.

You're missing one of the deserty guys. What? Kansas. Oh, what goes hand in hand with Kansas

We've got nine left.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Laura: Um, Kansas, Missouri.

Ron: Oh, what goes hand in hand with Kansas?

Laura: Tinsas.

Laura: Glasses.

Laura: What? Beersus. Chickens.

Ron: What?

Laura: Kansas. Nebraska.

Ron: Not what I was getting at, but good. You're missing one of the deserty guys.

Laura: Nevada. Uh, New Mexico. Have I said New Mexico? I think I've said New Mexico. Uh, Utah.

Ron: Yeah. One that goes hand in hand with Kansas.

Laura: We keep saying that, but that's probably just something you've seen one time.

Ron: No, it's not. It makes perfect sense. Um, you're missing, uh, Harrison ford.

Laura: Indiana.

Ron: Yep. 45. You're missing the home of the Black Keys.

Laura: Have I said Illinois?

Ron: Yes. You're missing, alphabetically, the, uh, last state. And you're missing the home of a

00:45:00

Ron: famous tech university.

Laura: Wyoming.

Ron: Yes. Four to go.

Laura: Ohio.

Ron: Yep. Nice. 47.

Laura: Else goes with Kansas. Alabama, Arkansas, Arkansas. Anymore? Arkansas.

Ron: Arkansas is how it's spelled.

Laura: Oh, I see.

Ron: Um.

Laura: Gosh, what else is deserty that I'm missing? New Mexico.

Ron: I'd rather be dead in California than alive in blank arrest development quote there. M. All right, let's say it's, um. It's what Hagrid might have called the Wizard Boy or what?

Laura: Arizona.

Ron: Yep. Okay. And then the last one is. Is sort of if you were to masticate a church meeting. Chew.

Laura: Service.

Laura: Chew. Massachusetts.

Ron: Massachusetts.

Laura: Oh, that's annoying. I, uh, missed that out on my New England sprawl.

Ron: Yeah. Not bad, though.

Laura: No, I'm pretty happy with that, especially because I couldn't see the map. If I could have seen the map, I think I'd have had a better.

Ron: Yeah, um, and also on jetpunk here, they've got them in alphabetical order as well, so you can see where your gaps are.

Laura: Yeah, okay. I'm happy with that. It's my best quiz of the season.

Ron: Probably.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Do you want to do any more.

Laura: Mass spectrum?

Ron: Should I type mass spectrum into mass spectrometry?

Laura: No, it's not called spectrometry, Ron.

Ron: Yes, it is.

Laura: You said a mass spectrometer was not what it was. You just made that word up.

Ron: No, I said a mass spectrograph is not what it was called. Um. Here we go. Oh, shit. Yeah. Um, okay. Yeah, there is a quiz on forensic toxicology, analytical techniques and mass spectrometry.

Laura: Well, that sounds too much. And listen, if you're not. Can't we just stop where. I've done really well.

Ron: Sure. Okay. Yeah, we'll do some proper chemistry next time.

Lester: We definitely went back to Jet Punk once. That was what it was

Laura: So there we go. There's no apologies for that. That was what it was. And if you were screaming Arkansas into your headphones, then. Good, we've done our job.

Ron: Yeah. I like jetpunk, though. Maybe that should be a Patreon segment.

Laura: Yeah, I would be up for that.

Ron: Wait, didn't we already do that?

Laura: Don't think so.

Ron: We definitely went back to Jet Punk once. We did a quiz on, like, the 1880s or something.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: What was that for.

Ron: I don't know. We're, we're, we're well ahead again, Lester. Feels like a lifetime ago. And it, it's, it's, it messes with the noodle even more.

Laura: Yeah, well, remember when we first started when we were super professional newbie podcasters and we used to listen to the episode before we did the intros outros to remind ourselves.

Ron: Yeah, but then we started. But then we started flying really close to the bread line and then you don't have to listen to it because you've just edited it.

Laura: Well, this one I didn't re listen because I did only just edit it this week.

Ron: So.

Laura: Yeah, um, I'm a bit behind on my editing, but I have just edited, uh, this week's Patreon episode all about seahorses and Ron, because obviously we put those out as video and audio on the video one. I've put all of the images we looked at, uh, in the video. Wow, isn't that clever of me? Yeah, so people can just see what we're looking at as we look at it. And I've got it to zoom in on the weird penis.

Ron: Oh, yeah, yeah. That boy's dick was wrong.

Ron: Scientology are bad dudes. Can we do a Patreon episode on Scientology

Laura: Um, have you seen Mission Impossible yet, Ron?

Ron: I've seen all of them I had when this came out.

Laura: No, but you said you discussed a new one coming out in this episode.

Ron: Oh, that hasn't come out yet.

Laura: Oh, okay, so you haven't seen it. Okay, that's ticked off my list.

Ron: Ethan Hunt, by the way, is the character's name not Ethan Hawke? Oh, Ethan, uh, Hawke is an actor.

Laura: Oh, uh, do you reckon he's annoyed that he doesn't get to play Ethan Hunt?

Ron: Hunt, um, like a Hawke, I mean. I imagine so because it's probably one of the most lucrative roles that's ever existed.

Laura: What's your opinion on Tom Cruise? Do you reckon he's nice or weird or both?

Ron: No, I think he's insane. He's a Scientologist

00:50:00

Ron: and a really high ranking one.

Laura: Yeah, but everybody says he's really nice.

Ron: Yeah, but I think that's like Dianetics min. Maxing your life like, you know, hacked his way into being nice. I, uh, don't think you can be that high in Scientology, give that much money to that organisation and call yourself nice.

Laura: Okay, I'll stop my direct debits then. Yeah, I'm pumping all of the patriot money from this podcast into Scientology.

Ron: Um, yeah, Scientology are bad dudes.

Laura: Can we do a Patreon episode on Scientology?

Ron: Sure.

Laura: I don't know that much about it. It's not on the list.

Ron: It's a really weird one. Hello? Um, it's a really weird one because, like, there's so many disparate elements of it and none of them really connect, but they're somehow really powerful and scary.

Laura: What do they. Are they like, controlling the world?

Ron: No. Okay, well, they kind of.

Laura: They only hurt you if you're also into Scientology.

Ron: Um, I think they like monopolise stuff. But yeah, mainly they sort of entrap people within Scientology as a thing. Um, and then you can't get out because what they do is they, um.

Laura: You have these reminis got out from King of Queens.

Ron: Yeah, I mean, some people do get out, but like, you. They, um.

Laura: Homes. Homes.

Ron: I can't remember exactly what it's called. But basically they do these interviews with you. Like, you know, in Always Sunny where they're doing like the stress test interview. That's a direct piss take of Scientology. They do these interviews and they measure your negative organs or whatever while you're doing it, and they basically. They get you to confess everything in your life that you've ever done that's wrong. Um, and then they just hold it against you so you can never leave.

Laura: And you have to pay tithes.

Ron: Well, the different courses cost like thousands and thousands of dollars and there's dozens of them. And like, it's all about getting to the next level and going clear is where you've like gotten rid of all of like, the negativity. So Tom Cruise has gone clear. That's why he's this incredible Superman. And like, that's why he's like the poster boy for. For, um, uh, for Scientology. Because he's. He's like. He expresses all of its virtues, supposedly.

Laura: I think it sounds worth doing. Let's try it out.

Ron: No, but they imprison people.

Laura: Mhm.

Ron: And torture people.

Laura: Oh no.

Laura: They torture people.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Bloody hell. I'll leave it on the list. One, but maybe we won't discuss the torturing.

This episode explained some of the mysteries. Should we explain the Deliveroo story

Um, have you eaten any caramel eggs?

Ron: No.

Laura: Should we explain the Deliveroo story?

Ron: What was the Deliveroo? The neighbours in the hotel.

Laura: When I was re editing it, I realised we sort of mentioned we should have stolen her Deliveroo and then we never really clarified what was happening.

Ron: No.

Laura: Okay. And, um. Do you want to explain? Come. The character.

Ron: Come. The character is just what I named my guy in, um, Elden Ring.

Laura: I walked into Ron's flat the other day and his game was paused on his tv and he has some sort of dude wandering around and he's just called Come with no capital letter either. And it's just horrible. And, um, Ron just laughed for a while and said, I didn't think anyone else would ever see that.

Ron: Yeah, it's because you make the character in these games and you spend ages, um, working out what they're gonna look like because you actually see that. But no one ever says your character's name when you're in the game. So I just typed in a funny word and moved on with my life. Have a little giggle every time I saved the game.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So there you go. That is all the mysteries of this episode explained some of the mysteries. Well, we'll never know the true mystery of how Ron got to be so handsome. Um, we'll leave you there and we hope you have a lovely week. Next week we're back with physics, but I haven't written down what it's about, so that's a good experiment for when we get there. And if you're so inclined and have the spare change for just three pounds a month, you can keep a donkey alive. Or us. Um, and you can get a brand new episode this Friday that's coming out all about seahorses. So why not make our week and.

Ron: Join the Patreon and not just the seahorses that you're thinking of.

Laura: No, but, um, but have you done register?

Ron: No, haven't done a register. Okay, class dismissed.

00:54:50