Much Mickey Ado About Mouse

 Much Mickey Ado About Mouse

Ron: I had a big work call this morning and I trembled

Laura: Hello, and welcome to Lex Education. It's the comedy science podcast where comedian me, Laura Lex, tries to learn science from her nerdy, supernaturally young brother, Ron.

Ron: Hello, I'm Ron.

Laura: Hi, Ron.

Ron: Hello, Ron.

Laura: I've had drama today.

Ron: Oh, yeah.

Laura: Okay. So, Ron, I had to have a big work call this morning, and you know me, I dissolve into a puddle of jellyfish when I am faced with any kind of formal stuff to do.

Ron: Yeah, you don't do big work work.

Laura: No, I don't like them. I would die in anybody else's job where they're having to do big work calls every morning.

Ron: But I have seven big work calls tomorrow. Yeah, that's not even an exaggeration.

Laura: I just. Oh. Uh, my. Like, my whole body trembled, and I was talking to a perfectly lovely person, and we got to about three quarters of the way through the meeting, and I sort of said, oh, God, I was, like, terrified about having this meeting. And she was like, oh, babe, why? And I was like, oh, no, I just am a wreck. Leave me alone. But, like, my. My thighs were, like, quivering. Anyway, I, uh, got off this phone call.

Ron: Don't tell me about your quivering thighs ever.

Laura: I got off this phone call, and I stepped into the back garden for a breath of air, and a seagull fell out of the sky onto my patio. And. And then me and the seagull just stared at each other for a while, and I was like, fuck, where's this seagull come from? Did it just fall off my fence or did it plummet from the sky? Should I be doing something?

Ron: Um, and then, I presume after that happened, you called dad. He didn't pick up, so you called me.

Laura: No, I called younger sister of the podcast. She did not pick up. I called you. You. You did not pick up. I called her.

Ron: I did pick up.

Laura: Did you? Oh, yeah, but you had to go. You had a work call within seconds.

Ron: Yeah, I had. Did you then ring someone else and continue bothering that bird?

Laura: No, I tried to ring Tom. He wasn't around. Then I set up some water for the bird. I went in the house, shut the back door, and then I rang older sister of the podcast who's currently immobile due to a ankle incident.

Ron: A gimpy fin.

Laura: Yeah, she's got a gimpy fin. And, um. And I sat with her because I just. Basically, I had so much adrenaline from the call. And also, in between the bird and the calls, Yuzu had choked on some food, and I was like, oh, my God, I don't know what to do. So I had to stick my fingers down the dog's throat and dislodge the food from her throat. So I was just adrenaline. So I rang older sister to the podcast and was like, can, um, we just have a wholesome chat for 20 minutes? And then the bird started to sort of gently try to make its way upwards. So first thing, I looked out the dining room window and it was stood on the table, beacon in the window at me, and I was like, ooh, it's made it up a bit. Then it managed to make it up to the top tier of the garden. Then it sort of tried to get onto the washing line, but its feet were too slippy to get on the washing line and it fell back down. And then I. I was just gonna make it like a little ladder of garden furniture to get it up, and then it managed to make its way up to the fence and then onto the roof of the garage.

Ron: And then it flew away.

Laura: I don't know. It could still be on the roof of the garage, to be honest. I haven't checked.

Ron: Well, I mean, that's progress, isn't it?

Laura: Well, I think, like, often gulls, like, nest just on open flat roofs and stuff. They're not big on, like, secure nests.

Ron: Yeah. God, your life is strange.

Laura: It's really weird. I don't know why needy birds seek me out.

Ron: You're like snow grey. Like, you sing a song and all the rats and pigeons and seagulls come and sort of.

Laura: I am slush grey.

Ron: They don't clean, but, you know they're there. Vibes. Yeah. Good sleep grey.

Laura: Find the worst of the animal kingdom.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Neither of my animals can swallow things very well.

Ron: It's so Mr. M. Frumble coded all the time.

Laura: Yeah.

You've been working through admin this morning ahead of Bristol Harbourfest this weekend

Uh, it's been a dramatic day, but then I've really enjoyed. I've just been working through, like, the biggest, biggest slog of admin this morning.

Ron: What admin?

Laura: Oh, uh, well, knee deep in comedy Bureau, release stuff.

00:05:00

Laura: Trying to, like, sort out all the PR for that. I had to. Ugh. Uh, the worst job ever, which is tallying all the gigs I've done, the mileage, whether I've been paid for them or not. Sorting all that out on my accountancy, it annoyed me so much this morning, I basically phoned someone and hired a new accountant. Um, what else have I done this morning? Ah, just the 1 million tiny jobs that needed doing. I've posted some more books out that people had ordered. I'm lining up some videos to go out for later this week. So that I don't have to try and do it from a hotspot of WI fi in the middle of Harbourfest so I can totally focus on water feet.

Ron: On water feet. Avicii. Water feet.

Laura: So what's your plan? So it's Bristol Harbourfest this weekend. Well, it'll have finished by the time people are hearing this. You and I, it's our annual. Should we let people listen to the episode first? Because they're not gonna want to miss all the hot science that we do in this episode.

Ron says he's had two wonderful compliments this week

Okay, Ron, do you want to hear my wonderful compliments?

Ron: Is it to do with this, um, this little dog that you've sent me a picture?

Laura: No. But isn't she cute?

Ron: She is very acute.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Very boss eyed.

Laura: Yeah. Puppies are weird looking. Um, no. I've had two of the greatest compliments of my life this week.

Ron: Oh, yeah?

Laura: Yeah. One. Somebody told me.

Ron: Do you want me to guess?

Laura: Yeah, go on. Them. No, because they'll just be mean and I feel good about myself. Okay, go on then, guess.

Ron: I was gonna say someone, um, said you had Sandra Bullock esque qualities.

Laura: No, but they should. How has no one said that to me yet? Oh, no. Ron's frozen.

Ron: Hello.

Laura: He tried to think up compliments and the Internet, bro.

Ron: And I guess the other one would be, uh, uh, um. No, nothing's coming to me. Yes. And m aborted.

Ron: I went to get a massage because I've been having back problems

Laura: Okay, so first of all, Ron, someone told me I look like lesbian Sabrina Carpenter. Uh.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: And I was like, great, Sabrina Carpenter, but not for the male gaze. I'm in. Deal. And then yesterday, Ron. And here's the truly greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I went to get a massage because I've been having some trouble with my back. And the lady was massaging. What? Oh, basically.

Ron: You seem way too short to have back problems.

Laura: Here's the thing though, Ron. Wait for fucking this. Yeah, this woman's massaging me. We're chatting. She tells me she's been in masseuse for 10 years. She really loves it. She was a really weirdly strong child, and that's how she got into massaging. We're having a great time. Right then. She's Greek and she's quite, like, outspoken as well. So she's like, what have you done to your back? And I was just, uh, like, oh, yeah, I don't know. She's like, what do you do for a job that your back is in this state? And I was like, um. And I was just about to say, uh, no, it's not to do with my job. And she went, are you a builder? She thought I was a builder based on my back muscularity, Ron. My hench little dwarven body is builderesque because of my rock solid traps. I know. I know what you're thinking, Ron. I know instinctively. You're like, nope, she's a small ball of dough.

Ron: And.

Laura: And while I agree, Ron, I'm also an incredibly strong and heavy small ball of dough.

Ron: No. The question I want to ask is, are you sure she was commenting on the muscle content of your back and not like, here's a woman that's clearly been carrying around bricks for ages, thus putting strain on this crooked little back.

Laura: Even so. Even if it's like, hey, you're not particularly strong, but you've clearly been doing a lot with the muscles that you do have.

Ron: And you're.

Laura: I'm still happy that I do enough weightlifting about that. She's like, what the hell?

Ron: You haven't been doing a lot.

Laura: I have. I work out every day.

Ron: So if you have builder level wear and tear.

Laura: Yes. Because I work out every day, Ron.

Ron: Uh, good times.

Laura: My working out is really doing something. Got the back of a builder.

Ron: Uh, someone was horrified when they saw my back. You're like Mac from Always Sunny when he's, like, working at his. Like, sometimes I

00:10:00

Ron: walk down the street and like, ah, uh, what was this monster barreling down the street towards us?

Laura: Uh, well, you've just. You've just ruined my good feeling about my swole back.

Ron: I just want confirmation that she was commenting on its swollen, not its general state of disrepair.

Laura: Even if it was the general state of disrepair. Ron, she's referring to the muscular state of disrepair. She's.

Ron: No, because muscles is in a state of disrepair.

Laura: It is when you're a masseuse and you're working out knots in someone's back. She's not just like, oh, you've got cement all over you, is she?

Ron: Were you wearing, like, jeans that just had loads of shit all over them?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Can you steal token that was wrong.

Laura: With the spa and offering our quotes on them.

Ron: Yeah. Or maybe like, you know, the. The couple of years.

Laura: Anything wrong? Maybe I just have big back muscles and lots of knots in them. And she was like, you clearly do a lot of physical activity. Are you a builder? Maybe just that.

Ron: Maybe just that.

Laura: Has anyone ever thought you were a builder? No. You little software pussy. Oh, I train accountants to be more soft. I make things you don't.

Ron: You're not a builder.

Laura: I'm a builder.

Ron: You just have the ramshackle back of a builder.

Laura: I invented a wheelbarrow, and now I use it to lug bricks around.

Ron: You didn't invent a wheelbarrow. You claim that you would have been able to invent a wheelbarrow, But I.

Laura: Couldn'T because I was too busy making houses. No, because call me Tom Builder, for, uh, I will build a cathedral the likes of which has never been seen.

Ron: No. You designed an apple sorter, one that would bruise apples. Let's be real about it.

Laura: No, it wouldn't. It was made of cotton.

Go Apples is like a cloth marble run for apple. It's Go ape for apples

Ron: It's what it's made of. M cotton. It's basically a bunch of sleeves trying to get them.

Laura: Yeah. Otherwise it'll bruise the apples.

Ron: That's fucking insane.

Laura: It's Go ape for apples. Go, uh, apples.

Ron: Go Apples. Now, see, Lauren, now we're straying into. Into the territory that we need to be Go Apples.

Laura: What's Go April?

Ron: Go Apples is like a, uh, sort of a cloth marble run for apple.

Laura: Uh, is that profitable? Is that a commercial entity? We're on Dragon's Den. What's your idea? Is Go Ables? Humans famously have loads of fun swinging around the tops of trees, but what they've always wanted is to watch apples do it instead.

Ron: Well, yeah, but the House of Marbles is a profitable business, so I think we just do that. But for Apple.

Laura: Is it, Ron?

Ron: House of Go APIs.

Laura: Is House of Marbles even still open?

Ron: House of Marbles. If the House of Marbles has fallen, then Marbles.

Laura: Newton Abbot.

Ron: Is it Newton Abbott. Lovely area.

Laura: Does seem to still be open.

Ron: There it is.

Laura: Why would we visit it?

Ron: Why were we just driving past that? Did we go there on purpose, or did we just drive past it by accident?

Laura: I think I went there more than once, so we must have gone past it again.

Ron: I feel like I was there every other week.

Laura: As someone now with a child, I can confirm you will do anything to get that child out of there. Whoa. They've installed a big old games garden that wasn't there when I was there.

Ron: Ah. And they do, uh. Do they do glassblowing? Ah. Uh. We love glassblowing.

Laura: Should we go and do glassblowing at.

Ron: The House of Marbles barefoot? But I think we have to.

Laura: It's not that far.

Ron: Newton Abbott's quite far.

Laura: How far is Newton Abbott from you? Hang on. Here we go.

Ron: It's, like, on the coast south of Exeter.

Laura: M. House of Marbles. Directions. Where do you live? Let's just put hen and chickens in. Hour and a half.

Ron: That's not as far as I thought it would be, no.

Laura: So if we met a mum and dad just went from there.

Ron: Yeah. They'd want to come, though. Let's just meet. Let's just meet at Taunton train station, because otherwise they'll want to come.

Laura: Okay. Should we take older sister of the podcast?

Ron: Yeah, she can come.

Laura: And then let's get some marbles

00:15:00

Laura: tattooed.

Ron: No.

Laura: I bet that'd be a really hard thing to tattoo.

Ron: Yeah. Make it obviously a marble.

Laura: See what a marble looks like.

Ron: M. Sports correspondent Max has a very small tattoo of the moon.

Laura: Or does he have a mole?

Ron: No, it is the moon, but it kind. That could be a marble.

Laura: I really want another tattoo, but I'm thinking I want to do it quite soon because you can't give blood for four months after you get a tattoo. So I want to try not to, like, stagger them too much because then it very much disrupts how much blood you can donate.

Ron: Why don't you give blood now and then get one?

Laura: Because I recently had one.

Ron: Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. So.

Laura: So I had one in May, so I can't give blood again until September. So I was thinking if I get one now, then only like, pushes it back by a month rather than a whole nother four months, you know?

Ron: Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. What are you gonna get?

Laura: Dunno. Here's my thoughts with my tattoos. My right leg is entirely for tattoos that have been done with another person.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And my left leg, I kind of want to do just one big piece on it.

Get elephant posing pouch tattooed on your leg for your 30th birthday

Ron: Okay.

Laura: So, like, what are you gonna get? I, uh, like flowers. I think floral. Maybe a bird, maybe something like that.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: M. Maybe like Maki lying up my leg.

Ron: What about like a thousand tiny mackies crawling up your leg?

Laura: That would be cute. I think it would be quite hard to feel sexy if I had ever done that. Do you know what I mean?

Ron: Yeah. Yeah.

Laura: Like, lingerie is gonna really change.

Ron: Look at, uh, that.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: When you're wearing sort of JNCO's lingerie.

Laura: What about just like dog ears on your inner thigh? So when you got pants on, it looks like you've got a dog's head in your pants. Just dog ears coming out each side.

Ron: Of your pants, Right? No, that's. That's pretty awful.

Laura: That would be better if you were a man, because then your junk would look like the dog's muzzle.

Ron: Well, what's that? There's a. There's a thing where it's like the, um, the elephant posing pouch where it's like a COD piece, basically. But then it's got, like a thing for your dobbins and then it has ears so you can pose as an elephant.

Laura: So just get that tattooed.

Ron: Yeah, get a gentleman's elephant posing pouch tattooed on your leg.

Laura: Could be quite different from the bouquet and, um, kiwi that I.

Ron: Yeah, but if we both got them, it would have to go on that leg.

Laura: I don't. I think that tattoo is problematic and weird enough as it is without being like. Me and my brother both have them.

Ron: What if you got one with older sister of the podcast?

Laura: I think she respects herself too much for this scheme.

Ron: Yeah. But you don't get one with dad.

Laura: Dad doesn't have any tattoos and doesn't want any.

Ron: Yeah. That is always surprising about dad. You think he'd have, like, an anchor or something.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Or like a woman's name. That's not mums.

Laura: Maybe he has somewhere.

Ron: Maybe. Although he used to wear very small Speedos when we were on holiday and I didn't see any.

Laura: Yeah, we should do another big family holiday again soon. Then we can strip dad and look for names. Maybe next year we should do a big camping thing. Maybe I'll force you guys all to do it with me for my 40th.

Ron: That's a good excuse. Um, do you want to come to my 30th party?

Laura: Yeah. When is it?

Ron: On my 30th birthday.

Laura: That is the 9th of November.

Ron: Yeah. And you can, um. So what I'm going to do is.

Laura: We'Re having a party on a Sunday. No.

Ron: So that. Well, what I was going to do is on the Saturday, um, get the venue where, uh, we played our gig recently and then just put on another gig, um, and get some bands that friends are into play and stuff. Um, and then on the Sunday could just go have dinner at Mum and Dad's with the family. But everyone's welcome to both.

Laura: But, uh, I'll put it in my diary.

Ron: Lovely, Laura. I've been putting it off, sort of this ep. Ah. How long have we been recording?

Laura: Uh, it's a great question. 14 minutes.

Ron: Wow.

It's nearly a month since we last did a lesson on science

All right, Laura, let's. Let's do a bit. Because it's hard.

Laura: So we won't get ourselves back in. Ron, no one expected us to jump back in after a big break. It's nearly a month since we last did a lesson.

Ron: No. And, you know, we're diving in at some of the most sciency science that we've ever. Science.

Laura: Uh, Ron, do you want to hear a desperately

00:20:00

Laura: sad thing?

Ron: Yes. God, yes.

Laura: When I was doing my Ask me anything. Um, uh, episode one, uh, of the questions.

Ron: Wait, sorry, I just came up with, you know we're talking about your builder's back.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Are you sure? The first one, they didn't just say you look like a lesbian carpenter because of your supremely muscular back?

Laura: That would have been really good if you'd come at it earlier on, Ron.

Ron: If I'd said that at the time, that would have been really good, but I didn't want to piss on your parade. But then I thought that was funny enough. All right, carry on. So sorry, what did they ask?

Laura: Just trying to find.

Someone who clearly listens to the podcast hates that they do

Here we go. This was my favourite question from somebody who clearly listens to the podcast, but hates that they do. Why do a level sciences question mark? Wouldn't it be more fun for everyone if you learned different things rather than following boring curricula for qualifications? You won't sit.

Ron: What's going on there?

Laura: Right.

Ron: Say it again. Read it out again.

Laura: Okay, I'll read it in a different tone too, because I don't want to. Why do a level sciences? Wouldn't it be more fun for everyone if you learned different things rather than following boring curricula for qualifications you won't sit.

Ron: This is a one off invitation. We'll never, ever have listeners on the show. Apart from this, whoever wrote that and sent that in, you can come on the podcast.

Laura: Whoa.

Ron: We need to chat. Why? What's going on there?

Laura: Yeah, why do you not like the podcast? You can stop listening if you need to. Don't. Please don't feel like you have to be here. Ah.

Ron: Crazy.

Laura: Yeah, real, real mad at us for carrying on our, uh, podcast in the way that we said it was gonna be.

Ron: It's like writing into Taskmaster, just being like, why continue moving all of the spaghetti to the other side of the tractor if the points don't even matter at the end?

Laura: Anyway, I've recently got into Taskmaster.

Ron: Yeah, I heard. Um, I caught up on the discord a bit, and I heard you're not very happy with some of the casting that's been done recently.

Laura: Am I not?

Ron: That's what I heard. You don't think Americans should be on it?

Laura: No, no. Somebody asked me whether I'd have more chance of getting on New Zealand Taskmaster. Uh, and I basically said, like, maybe I didn't struggle to get on TV in New Zealand, but then I was like, on the offside, like, is it weird to go to a country with a smaller comedy circuit and, like, take a job that is designed for boosting local Comedians profile. But then it's not like I'm a superstar name sweeping in. And then I was like, but you. Does that mean Jason Manzuka should have been doing British one? No, like, m. Just, you know.

Ron: Yeah. Um, you've recently gone into it.

Laura: Yeah, I've watched two series. So I started watching it with dad because, you know, dad was staying for a few nights, and, you know when, like, you've got someone over and you're both like, what do you want to watch? I don't know.

Ron: And we were just like, what series did you watch?

Laura: Well, we started with Fern, um, Brady and, I think Sarah Milliken and Frankie Boyle.

Ron: Uh, that's a good series. Dar o'. Brien.

Laura: Was that Frankie Bell? No, Frankie Bell wasn't on that series. Yeah, Dara and Fern and Sarah.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And then Tom and I watched Frankie and Ivo. Graham.

Ron: Ivo's very funny on it.

Laura: Glorious. Mae Martin.

Ron: Yeah, she's great. They're great.

Laura: Yeah. And, um, who else is on that one? Jenny Eclair and Kyle Smith. Bino.

Ron: I love Kyle.

Laura: Yeah, me too. And he reminds me so much of Will Duggan. He has the most Will Duggan energy of any other celebrity I've ever seen. And then just last night, Tom and I finished up another series, which was. Who was in that one? It was less endearing, but it was still good.

Ron: You're going through a lot of the more recent ones.

Laura: Yeah, well, Netflix doesn't have series one to four on it, so, uh, we started out on quite recent ones. And now then, what was the one Tom and I just finished watching? Alice Levine and Asim. Ah, Choudhury.

Ron: Lisa Tarbeck.

Laura: Lisa Tarbeck. Who? I just.

Ron: Oh, Tim vine is great.

Laura: Tim vine was. Yeah, he was great.

Ron: He's. He's a very strange man.

Laura: Oh, and Russell Howard, who I thought came across very badly.

Ron: He came across like he thought he was too big for it.

Laura: He did a little bit. I just think that's the key to going on Taskmaster is throw yourself in.

Ron: Like, that's why I would never be cross about Jason Manzukas being on it, because he clearly

00:25:00

Ron: loves the show and is, like, going for it.

Laura: Oh, yeah. No, I have no opinions. I haven't watched that series. I have no opinions. And I love him.

We only watched one episode because we finished a series last night

So happy to watch it. No, now, we just did one episode last night, and I'm already more into this, um, group. Uh, it's Acaster, Jessica Knappett, Phil Wang, um, Terry Godliman and Rod Gilbert. Rod Gilbert. And I'm already. I think it's a better series than the Lisa Tar. Like, Lisa Tarber saved her series.

Ron: Lisa Tarbeck's a very, very funny woman. Um, there's, uh, there are two series that I think are contenders, uh, for the best. The one that you're watching now with Acaster and especially Rod Gilbert is an insane man.

Laura: Ye.

Ron: Or, um. And I know he's a mate. But, um. Uh, Mark Watson.

Laura: Yeah, his.

Ron: His series is. Is. I think maybe the best is. But, yeah, no, Mark Watson is just one of the people on Taskmaster that, like, has properly thought outside of the box and like a different. Because obviously him and Alex Horn are like, really old mates.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So, like, his brain just works in a very taskmaster y way. And yeah, ah, it's a very good series.

Laura: I think that that's what's interesting. So we only watched one episode because we finished a series last night. And then, you know when you're like, we should do one episode of the next one to just like, gently introduce the new people into our lives.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And immediately you were like, oh, Rod Gilbert really knows Greg Davis, clearly. So that's quite fun because I think this is, uh, the first episode we've watched where there's somebody that, like, oh, you're mates. Mates with him. Because Alice Levine is very good friends with Alex Horn, I think. And I think you could tell that from her series with him where she was. She's so dry that you were like, I think this is more fun if. But you two know each other so well and we don't know you that well, so it. You're a little too dry for me.

Ron: She was another one that occasionally at times came across like she didn't want to be there. Which.

Laura: Yeah. But then I think, like, she. She was clever. She has really clever wordplay and I think. I think it must be really hard to be a deadpan comic character in that, because you can't have five spaniels chomping at the bit. Like, you can't have that. But, like, I'd like, for me, I think one of my favourite people so far in the limited series I've watched was Ivo, because he just. He wanted to be there, but he was also embarrassed. He seemed quite genuine. Um, whereas, like, with Russell Howard, there were too many bits where he just didn't do the task and then just came up with, like, a stupid reason for why he hadn't done it. And you were like, this is boring.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Where it's like asymptotically, you're like, oh, that's Minimal effort. But I really do think you think it's good, you know?

Ron: Yeah, he. Yeah, uh, he's a funny one.

Laura: I tell you what, though, every single time. And Tom's, I think, starting to get angry with me and thinks that I'm putting it on, but every single time Greg Davis says little Alex Horn, I piss my pants. I find it to be the funniest thing. And on episodes where he doesn't do it, I genuinely feel cross because I find it so funny. Funny. Little Alex Horn.

I'm so happy that professional jealousy has died a little mini death

It really, really, really tickles me.

Ron: Yeah, it's a funny show. That's why they've done 19 series.

Laura: Yeah, it's brilliant. It's really brilliant. I'm so happy that my, like, professional jealousy has died a little mini death and I can just watch it joyously now without caring.

Ron: Yeah. Because it does seem like the most fun thing in the world.

Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ron: You should, um, at some. I think they're all on YouTube at some point. Watch, like, the first couple of seasons, because series one, season one was Ramesh Timke Roisin. What's her surname? Yeah, Roisin Carnity. Um, because back in the early series, you're only allowed. Oh, she knows Greg Davies really well. Um, they're like old mates. Um, Yeah.

Laura: I wonder if they, Ah, about the same time, actually.

Ron: I think they were in sitcoms together.

Laura: Yeah. Um, yeah, back in the early days. Because, like, didn't Catherine Ryan do series two and then it was like. Yeah, Ryan had been on it twice before. They had other women on it.

Ron: No. So Katherine Ryan comes back because whoever. Spoiler alert, whoever wins, comes back for the champion of champions.

Laura: Right, okay.

Ron: Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, in the early series, it was very much one woman per season. Will do. Thank you very much. Um. Oh, Josh Whitakem. Um, Rob Dearing was in season two.

Laura: Rob Deering, surely Rob Beckett.

Ron: Rob Beckett. Who's Rob Deering?

Laura: Rob Deering is a musical comedian.

00:30:00

Ron: Yeah. Not him. Yeah. Rob Dearing.

Laura: I'd love him to be on it. That wasn't me being like, ew, surely not Rob Dearing. That was just like, gosh, that would have rocketed Rob Deering's career to where it deserves to be. But television would always be too afraid to do that.

Ron: Richard Osman, uh, is in season two. But, um, it's good because people aren't, like, in the. In the mindset of it yet. They don't know to look under the table for stuff yet. They don't know that they're going to get over all the time. So first couple of series are, uh, like, they're super M. Martin.

Laura: Just. Just reigned supreme. They were so good at, uh, at going, there'll be a twist and I'll find that twist. Or just observing, just being stood there and, like, reading words on the other side of the wall and going, ah.

Ron: Huh?

Laura: What does that mean? Fine, I'm in.

Ron: Yeah. They came across as literally just one of the smartest people that's ever been on the show.

Laura: Perfect, attractive, wonderful, soothing, calming, funny. Hi, darling. You okay? Is daddy asking you to come back downstairs? Oh, an ice cream for me. Thank you so much, Uncle Ron. Would you like some ice cream?

Ron: Delicious ice cream. Thank you.

Laura: I think Uncle Ron bought you these ice creams.

Ron: He did.

Laura: Good girl. Turn around and go down backwards. Yeah, we've literally done no signs. We've got seven minutes left and then I'll be downstairs. Okay. No, we've just been catching up about taskmaster and cheese on toast.

Ron: Best reaction this podcast ever got.

Laura: There is a hole there. Yeah. The house is falling apart because not enough people are patrons and we can't afford to fix the things we need to fix about the house. Good reminder, child of the podcast, is.

Ron: There a hole there? Because we tried to get the chair up into the attic. Uh, bye. Bye.

Your bedroom is very, very good. I do like my bedroom

Laura: Right, Ron, I've written the date and 2:22.

Ron: Oh, well, we're not getting into it now. That would be. That would be more absurd than the fact that we've just spent 20 minutes talking about Taskmaster.

Laura: It is so good, though.

Ron: It is very, very good.

Laura: Um, I had a really great moment the other day where I put her to bed and I said, night, night, bestest girl. And she, completely unprompted, went, night, night, coolest mom. I didn't even know she knew the word coolest.

Ron: That is cool.

Laura: Yeah, it was great because the night before bedtime took two hours. She screamed at me so much I cried and phoned older sister of the podcast and made older sister of the podcast. Read her a story on FaceTime where I went into the garden and cried and calmed down and then came in and did another 45 minutes of trying to put her to bed.

Ron: Wow. Really? The full spectrum of parenting.

Laura: Oh, my God. It's crazy. Like, one minute you're like, you are the fucking greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. We're having the best time. I've just bought a stand up paddleboard for us so we can go out and do some paddleboarding and stuff. And I'm like, yeah, blazing up like Lilo and Stitch. Yeah. And then the next thing you know, you're literally having a deep tissue massage because putting her to bed for two hours ripped your shoulder blades apart.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: You have the physique of a build.

Ron: And maybe a carpenter.

Laura: Sabrina, the teenage carpenter. Uh, that's what they call me.

Ron: We were teenage builders, though.

Laura: Yeah. I think even maybe a bit preteen.

Ron: Yeah, I was definitely a preteen. I was mainly there to scrabble in lofts.

Laura: You were a good scrabbler. Yeah, I. I think looking back, we were just there for company. Right. Dad just doesn't like to be alone, I think.

Ron: I think Mum was busy in the childcare. I think we were just around, uh, uh. But also, you know, our tiny hands were good at getting things.

Laura: Yeah. There are a lot of school toilet blocks in the Somerset area that I had a hand in screwing together.

Ron: Yeah. I've wired in the electronics and several schools.

Laura: Yeah. And Painted man, we've done some hall painting.

Ron: Oh, yeah. Older sister of the podcast now works at one of those schools.

Laura: Really?

Ron: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: Oh, I hope she admires the paintwork.

Ron: I think she will. Apart one, there was one room where me and dad did a really bad job because we bought this really like, um, it was supposed to be, like water resistant, basically childproof paint. Um, so it formed like a really thick skin on the wall. But that meant that if you brushed it, like, if you. There would be a certain point where you're, like, putting it on, where you could not touch it again because then it would just come off the wall in sheets. It was awful. One of the worst painting experiences I've ever had.

Laura: Oh, no. Hey, if you could paint your bedroom any colour right now, what colour would

00:35:00

Laura: it be?

Ron: Uh, nothing that interesting. I think just like a sort of dark, tealy, greeny blue. Green. Yeah. I just think that's relaxing and nice, isn't it?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What about you? That's kind of the colour of.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. Well, mine's a more like bottle emerald green.

Ron: Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. Your bedroom is goals.

Laura: I do like my bedroom. I'm, um, going to get a new engagement ring tomorrow. Ooh, yeah.

Ron: Who you marrying?

Laura: Just staying married to Tom, but my old one broke. Big diamond fell out of it. Saddest I've ever been.

Ron: You need to take it off when you're on the site, Laura. You can't be slinging these bricks around wearing the massive diamonds.

What are we gonna do in the quiz for this episode? Ron, you should quiz me on Taskmaster

Laura: What are we gonna do in the quiz for this episode? Ron, you should quiz me on Taskmaster.

Ron: Yeah, you need to finish it before we record.

Laura: I can't have finished all of it.

Ron: There's not that much.

Laura: What, just. What? What? Every season?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: No, I'm not gonna have watched.

Ron: Will you tell me which. Which seasons you.

Laura: Okay, I've watched all of the Lisa Tarbuck season and, um, the Jenny Eclair season.

Ron: All right. Or maybe I'll set you some taskmaster s puzzles for the quiz.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: You will forget to do that, though.

Ron: Nah.

Laura: Okay. See you for the quiz.

Ron: All right, bye.

Laura: Two things Ron will forget. Raise your hand now.

We're doing a quiz about taskmaster and it's way too easy

Well, it's quiz time, and I just, uh, said, oh, time for a quiz, and it's the taskmaster quiz. And Ron said, oh, yeah. Which does not make me think you have prepared a quiz. So what I'm anticipating is going to happen now is Ron's going to say, no, no, no. And then we're going to hear some typing in the background and some sort of Internet quiz about taskmaster is going to be plagiarised heavily on the podcast.

Ron: No, no, no. I did forget that we were supposed to be doing a taskmaster quiz, because when I adjusted the schedule sheet this morning to account for the fact we didn't do physics, um, I forgot that we did taskmaster, and I just put in non.

Laura: You've muted yourself, I do believe what happened.

Ron: That was weird. I don't know, but I heard myself through my headphones for a hot second. Um, but anyway, no, I found a Gilmore Girls quiz that I thought, ooh.

Laura: Yeah, now why am I drinking a cup of tea? It's so fucking hot.

Ron: I did. I looked at the. The Trivia part one, and it was way too easy. It was like, what type. What accessory is Luke associated with wearing? A, like, yeah, flip flops. B, a, uh, hat.

Laura: Is that obviously a sardonic frown?

Ron: So we're going for trivia part two. If it's too hard, we'll go back to the first one.

Laura: Have you ever seen my Luke's Diner mug?

Ron: Yeah. Didn't you used to keep your moon cup?

Laura: Still do, buddy. I don't really like novelty mugs, but I do like that I own it.

Ron: Yeah. Um, all right, Laura, what is Luke's sister's name?

Laura: Oh, it's that blonde woman and she's all fruitsy. And she marries. She works in the travelling fair. Uh. Ah.

Ron: You'Ve got four options if you need.

Laura: Yeah, give me the options.

Ron: Liz, Doula, Sherry, Anna.

Laura: It's Liz. It's definitely Liz.

Ron: It's one of those quiz as well. We'll find out at the End.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Ron: What? Or I could just click finish quiz.

Laura: I think it's more satisfying to find out as we go along.

Ron: Correct. It was Liz. 99% of people that have done this quiz. Got that right.

Laura: Sorry for any wind noise, everybody. Too hot to be in the roof of a house without the windows open. It's not farts or burps, it's. It's just wind.

Ron: Natural wind.

Laura: And for everybody that puts up with it, I will put another photo in the discord of new dog of the podcast.

What school does Rory end up going to instead of Harvard University

Ron: Laura, what school does Rory end up going to instead of Harvard University?

Laura: She goes to Yale, doesn't she?

Ron: She does. That's another 99% of people got that one.

Laura: God, she really copes so well with not getting into Harvard. You know, like, life throws her some difficult curveballs and she puts up with having to go to fucking Yale like an absolute trooper.

Ron: Yeah, and then she just ends up running the local newspaper. It's so sad.

00:40:00

What makes Emily's husband Richard go into a drought for many days

Laura, what makes Emily's husband a delicious sauce? What makes Emily's husband Richard go into a drought for many days?

Laura: A drought?

Ron: That's what the question says.

Laura: Hm.

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: Oh, that's got me stumped. What are my options?

Ron: Emily's laser eye surgery going bad, the loss of his mother, him losing his job, or alternatively getting fired.

Laura: I think it's the loss of his mother that's ringing a bell.

Ron: Yeah, well, I mean, you can rule out the last two because they're the same.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, but yes, it was the loss of his mother. Well done.

Laura: Would you call that a drought?

Ron: I don't know why it says go into a drought.

Laura: I thought a drought was when you, like, you don't have sex for a while.

Ron: Well, a drought's when it doesn't rain for a while.

Laura: Yeah. Anyway, uh, surely if your mother's just died, it's. It's pouring.

Ron: What, the sex?

Laura: Yeah. You'd have to have wall to wall sex to cope. That's what I'm gonna do when Mum dies. I'm just gonna fuck away the pain. It's what she would have wanted.

Ron: Laura.

What phrase does Lorelei often repeat once her and Luke get engaged

Okay, what phrase does Lorelei often repeat once her and Luke get engaged? Ooh.

Laura: Uh, what are my options?

Ron: I don't want it to happen. Should I really do this? I'm so excited. It's not gonna.

Laura: I think maybe it's not gonna happen. I don't know, though. I. I hated the end. Did they get engaged in the seasons or at the end of the.

Ron: I can't remember. I can't remember.

Laura: By that point it had got so bad, it was hard to focus on anything they were saying. But look, I'm thinking she's not going to be saying, I don't want it to happen, or I don't want this. Even that show couldn't have been that toxic, could it? I can't remember what you said the third one was, but it's not gonna happen. Sounds, you know, like she's. She's being pessimistic.

Ron: Number three was. I'm so excited.

Laura: That doesn't sound like Lorelei.

Ron: No.

Laura: Uh, I'm gonna say with it's not gonna happen.

Ron: Correct. We're four for four at the moment. Okay, Laura.

Laura: Okay, What I feel like here is I'm not like, a sort of super fan that just knows these off the top of my head, like, you know, the. But I can work it out. That feels good, you know?

Ron: Yeah, yeah. You know, the characters.

Laura: I wish I knew science this way. You know, Like, I can't remember, but based on my in depth understanding of the characters involved in science, here's the answer.

Ron: Yeah, well, maybe we just need to Gilmore it up a bit more.

Laura: Yeah.

What phrase does Lorelei come up with that she finds very weird

Ron: Laura, what phrase does Lorelei come up with that she finds very weird?

Laura: Oh, God, everything. She finds herself to be so wacky and brilliant. Uh, give, uh, me my options.

Ron: This one sticks out to me, but I'm a kayak. Hear me roar. Oy, with the poodles already. Norman Mailer. I'm pregnant. Just do it. Takes on a whole new meaning.

Laura: Uh, oh, no, none of those sound familiar. What was it? Holy kayak. I'm pregnant.

Ron: I'm a kayak. Hear me roar.

Laura: Uh, she doesn't really like physical activity, though, so would she be near a kayak? I don't remember her, uh, being an old Jewish man from New York, so.

Ron: The second one doesn't feel Boy with the poodles already.

Laura: Yeah, like, is that.

Ron: You've got Norman Mailer. I'm pregnant.

Laura: That feels Lorelei ish. Because their dog's called, like, Neil Sadaka or something, isn't he? They're so not even Neil Sabarka. Come on.

Ron: So come m on, Sherman Palladino. It was looking at you right there.

Laura: What do you like? Um, I'm gonna say it's the Norman Mailer one.

Ron: Oof. It's the first. Wrong one. It was oi with the poodles already. I'm afraid there's one up. Where? Just Rory and Lorelei just say oi with the poodles a bunch. Um, and it's not funny. It doesn't land, but it is a.

Laura: Bit, uh, I miss. I forgot that episode. That's sad. Do you know, on Saturday night, I gigged in a tiny little village in Cambridgeshire, and I was like, it was one of those really little villages.

00:45:00

Laura: And then I walked past the dance studio for kids, and I was like, o God, this is like a British star's Hollow. It's adorable. I did a comedy gig in the village hall.

Ron: Uh, was Miss Patty there?

Laura: Well, like, you know, there was one woman who had thought to bring her own standing fan to the gig and had it stood in the aisle just blowing on her, uh, and whoever was lucky enough to sit around her, and I was like, this is top dollar Stars Hollow behaviour.

Ron: Yeah, you're such a Bernadette.

Laura: Nah, I'm Gypsy that runs the garage.

Ron: Nah, you're Bernadette.

Laura: Look, we all know I'm Mrs. Kim.

Ron: You're not religious?

Laura: No.

Ron: And you don't live in a house full of tat?

Laura: I kind of do. There's a lot more tat here than I'd like.

Ron: No, you're not Mrs. Kim. That's crazy.

Laura: Which one's Bernadette?

Ron: The blonde, raspy one that lives around the corner.

Laura: Oh, yeah. Uh, who's only ever seen when, like, some plot needs explaining to somebody else.

Ron: She kind of runs over with her arms going like this. And then. Yeah, like, Lorelei, you left your window open and a raccoon got in. It'll be stuff like that. Yeah, it's in the Chinese boxes.

What is Richard's mother Lorelai the First's nickname

Anyway, we've got another nine questions to do, so we need to power on. Laura, what is Richard's mother Lorelai the First's nickname?

Laura: Oh, it's. It's Queenie or Bitsy or something. Uh, give me options.

Ron: Is it Rory? Is it Lori? Is it Trix? Or is it Lorelai the First?

Laura: It's tricks.

Ron: It's tricks. Yeah. Yeah, the people knew that one. 95% got that.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, so there's some real dumb dumbs doing this quiz, to be honest. And also a dum dum wrote it because what is Richard's mother? Lorelai the first nickname. And the false option is just Lorelai the first. And 3% of people have picked that.

Laura: But I suppose that could become a nickname after the other two Lorelais have been born. You might start to cutely call her Lorelai the First.

Ron: Yeah, but if you were just calling her, uh, the first or something, then. But Lorelei the First is just her name.

Laura: Yeah.

What happens on the cruise Luke takes his almost fiance on

Ron: What was Luke's daughter April wearing the day she came into the diner.

Laura: A, uh, backpack or something?

Ron: Was it a buret, brackets, French hat, a tutu, a scarf, or an overprotective bike helmet?

Laura: Overprotective bike helmet?

Ron: Yes, it was.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What happens on the cruise Luke takes his almost fiance on? Um.

Laura: Oh, um, it hits an iceberg, and they go from dancing in the steerage to naked in the car, painting each other, and then on a door in the water afterwards.

Ron: It's not one of the options. I've got. I've got. Luke proposes, then gets divorced. Luke proposes and gets Nicole pregnant. He doesn't go. Luke proposes and they stay together. Um.

Laura: Um, I think he doesn't go.

Ron: Nah, he proposes and then they get divorced.

Laura: Why would he ever go on a cruise? Luke would never go on a cruise.

Ron: He. Well, to propose.

Laura: What a bad piece of character writing.

Ron: Yeah. Uh, what's special about Luke's daughter April?

Laura: She's Luke's daughter. Next question.

Ron: Artist, Math genius, Science genius. Athletic?

Laura: No, it's either maths or science. Uh, I feel like it might be science genius. I think there's, like, school projects and stuff. Is it science genius?

Ron: She is a science genius. Well done.

Laura: We should have her on the show.

Ron: Uh, we should. Luke's daughter April. Imagine if we had Sherman Palladino on the show. That'd be huge for us.

Laura: Ron. I've been listening to so much of the Way They Were since they were on our podcast. Like, I used to listen to it quite a lot, and then you just, you know, things fall away then. I had such a good time hanging out with them, and it's. It's just feels like this podcast was made for me.

Ron: Yeah. And then, you know, because you feel like you're friends with people that make podcasts sometimes, and, you know, like, you're there chatting with them, and then whenever you feel like that, you could just listen to the episode that you've done and the episode of our podcast, and, like, it is like, you're there because you were there.

Laura: And I can just text them and go, love that piece of. Of gossip.

Ron: Yeah, you did keep

00:50:00

Ron: saying, like, do you need another guest? If you want a guest for this, you should let me know. And they. They weren't going for it.

Laura: It was basically, I was like, do you need. Do you want a third host? Huh? Huh? Guys, how's the twosome working out? Do you want. Do you want me?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Don't you want me, baby?

Ron: Well, yeah, you could go, do you.

Laura: Reckon on that podcast I'd end up going off on science tangents?

Ron: I think you'd probably start a bunch, and then it kind of fizzle out because you wouldn't be able to bring it home.

Laura: No, uh, that's true.

What president does Lorelei say she hates on Gilmore Girls

Ron: What city in France do Lorelei and Christopher visit while Gigi sees her mother?

Laura: Paris, isn't it? That's the only city in France Americans have heard of.

Ron: Yup. What president does Lorelei say she hates in an attempt to. To lighten the mood while Christopher's parents are visiting?

Laura: Probably Clinton, because his parents are probably right wing. Well, what are my options?

Ron: Trump, Bush, Obama, or Teddy Roosevelt?

Laura: Teddy, uh, Roosevelt feels like the sort of writing Teddy Roosevelt. Am I right? Oi.

Ron: Hate that. Hate that moustache.

Laura: Hate these poodles for us. But. But Obama. Was it still going in the Obama era?

Ron: Surely Obama's earlier than you think. Obama was 08.

Laura: But when was this?

Ron: Obama was, like, 18 years ago.

Laura: No, don't say that, because it felt like such a hopeful moment. When was.

Ron: I believe it started in 03. Was it that late or was it 01?

Laura: Man 2000 to 2007? Gosh. So it wouldn't have been Obama then? I don't think so. I'm gonna say Roosevelt.

Ron: Ooh. No, it was Bush. Uh. Ah.

Laura: Why would she hate that? To try and surely Christopher's parents were fans of Bush.

Ron: Uh, maybe the war. Gilmore Girls. Do you think 9, 11 happened in the Gilmore Girls universe?

Laura: Um, it certainly didn't impact Stars Hollow if it did.

Ron: No.

What is the name of Taylor Doozy's second business

Um, what is the name of the second business Taylor Doozy runs?

Laura: What do you mean, second? He runs so many. How could you possibly narrow it down?

Ron: Is it Taylor's Ice Cream Ice cream shop. Ice cream parlour. Doozy Shop.

Laura: Well, he. He definitely runs the grocery store. But isn't that his first business?

Ron: Yep. But what about the second? Anyway, what about the second business? Day lawyer.

Laura: But I don't want to get it wrong, because if the answer is shop, and I've forgotten what his first business is, that's beyond Dozey's Groceries.

Ron: Well, you know, the business that he runs before the series starts.

Laura: Um, probably an ice cream shop. Ice cream parlour. There were two ice cream ones. What were the two ice cream ones?

Ron: There were three ice cream ones. Taylor. Taylor's ice cream. Ice cream shop. And that shop spelled like old schooly. So S H, O, double P, E. Or ice cream parlour.

Laura: I'm gonna say ice cream parlour.

Ron: It was ice cream shop.

Laura: This is the stupidest quiz in the whole.

Ron: Really bad.

Take the nonsense quiz to help you prepare for Christmas

Um, what does Tristan not show up to because he was kicked out of Chilton. Who's Tristan?

Laura: Who the fuck is Tristan?

Ron: Who's Tristan?

Laura: Did Rory have another terrible boyfriend that I've forgotten about?

Ron: Yeah. Chad Michael Murray was in it, apparently.

Laura: He's called Logan.

Ron: Logan's a different guy. You fucking crazy.

Laura: Oh, him and Chad Michael Murray are identical.

Ron: Oh, I'm seeing here Logan's role was meant for Chad Michael Murray.

Laura: Yeah, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. Chad Michael Murray was in a really, uh, terrible Christmas film I watched this year. Did you watch the Windmill One? Were you here?

Ron: Yeah, that was, uh. I think Judah and I watched that separately. Um, yeah, that was one of the worst. Chad Michael Murray's in loads of the really bad Christmas movies. He was in that one about male strippers.

Laura: Yes, he was.

Ron: Ugh.

Laura: Uh, do you know, Ron, we're over halfway to Christmas now.

Ron: Yeah. Which means that you're only about three months away from watching Christmas movies.

Laura: Yeah, boy, can't wait. Um, she says, sitting in a 35 degree attic. Uh, why did he get kicked out of Chilton? Because he got a bigger acting role on

00:55:00

Laura: Story with Hilary Dick.

Ron: What play does Tristan not show up to because he was kicked out of Chilton? Oh, uh, was it Romeo and Juliet, Mickey Mouse Star crossed lovers, or 10 things I hate about you? Gosh, which one of those famous plays, Laura?

Laura: Are we talking Shakespeare's Mickey Mouse the First Part 2, or Mickey Mouse the second? I'm gonna guess it's Mickey.

Ron: Had been. Really was. Jesus Christ. Not everyone got that. Which is the reason, um, what temporary habit does Logan Hunsberger's mother often pick up? Is it yoga?

Laura: Smoking?

Ron: It is smoking.

Laura: Yeah. Great.

Ron: What does.

Laura: Is yoga a temporary habit?

Ron: If. I think if you do it sporadically.

Laura: Because you might accidentally like people genuinely with muscle memory, like light a cigarette. Do you just get into downward dog without realising? Sorry, I don't know how my foot got behind my head.

Ron: What does Rory steal from Doozy's Market after being.

Laura: Stop calling it Doozy. It's Dozy. Dozy.

Ron: Doozy's market after being.

Laura: Can you come and stay for a prolonged period again soon so that we can watch some more Housewives of, um, Potomac, wherever it was? Yeah, sure.

Ron: What does Rory steal from Doozy's market after being kissed by Dean? And then it says in all caps, remember to take the next level quiz. Um, was it Rocky Road, cookies, ice cream basket, or cornstarch?

Laura: Probably cookies. They're always making a big thing about how much shit they eat.

Ron: Yeah, but no, it was cornstarch. Oh, yeah. So I believe you got nine out of 15 there, Laura. Ah.

Laura: Uh, that's better than all my science quizzes, so I'm fine with it.

Ron: Yeah. Um, and that was the nonsense quiz. Uh, thanks for listening to the podcast, everyone. Let us know, Ron.

Laura: We'll do an intro out.

Let us know if you are Team Jess, Team Logan or Team Dean

Ron: Yeah, but I want to say something now. Let us, um, please give the podcast a five star review. And in that, let us know if you are Team Jess, Team Logan or Team Dean. There is a right answer.

Laura: Do you think the Way They Were people have ever done Rory Gilmore's.

Ron: Do they do fictional relationships?

Laura: I don't know.

Ron: Text them.

Laura: I'm going to. We'll let you know in the next episode.

Ron and I are heading to Bristol Harbourfest tomorrow

What's going on? Your hair. Have you got, like a backwards mullet? Have you got. Have you shaved all the back off and just left the front long?

Ron: Yeah, the same as my hair always is.

Laura: Oh, yeah. Maybe it just looks shorter at the back and longer at the front.

Ron: It is a bit longer at the front. I was growing it out a bit, seeing what that looks like.

Laura: It's cute as a button, Ron. Um, so people have heard that we did no science this week. We were catching up. Ron had been on holiday. Leave us alone, Mom.

Ron: And we're gonna do this sometimes now.

Laura: Yeah, we'll tie it this week.

Ron: We're giving ourselves permission to do this.

Laura: Yeah. Anyway, by the time you hear this, Ron and I will have been to Bristol Harbourfest. But for the moment, Ron, I'm arriving in Bristol tomorrow. I have to pop about a bit, do some gigs, do some shows. Izzy. Some busy. But what are your plans? When are you gonna be on the boat? What sights are we seeing? Have you read the brochure? Is it basically exactly the same as last year? What's the dealio? What's the weather looking like?

Ron: The weather's bad, I think. Thunderstorms.

Laura: Fucking hell. It's been so nice lately.

Ron: Yeah, I know. Um, I've not looked into the event at all. Yeah.

Laura: Why? Are you not excited?

Ron: No.

Laura: Is the gentle boy coming down to the boat for drinks?

Ron: I don't know. He doesn't reply to messages. He sort of floats in and out like a fart. And he does a fart.

Laura: Where's sports correspondent Max? Is he coming?

Ron: He's in Bampton.

Laura: What's Bampton?

Ron: It's a town nativity. His aunt lives there.

Laura: Why is. Why is he with his aunt?

Ron: He's just seen his aunt. They're very family oriented.

Laura: Why has he picked Bristol Harbourfest to do this?

Ron: Probably so he doesn't have to hang out with our parents. He m. And um, agony dad don't.

Laura: Get on, do they? Not.

Ron: No, not since the. Not since the boat incident.

Laura: Oh, yeah, I remember that. Why isn't girlfriend of the podcast coming over for the Harbourfest?

Ron: Just didn't work out.

Laura: What, the relationship. Fuck.

Ron looks up Bristol Harbour Festival programme on website

Well, that ends my segment on, um, my excitement about the upcoming Bristol Harbourfest then. Because you've

01:00:00

done nothing.

Ron: Why would I do things.

Laura: Because it's your festival.

Ron: It's not my festival.

Laura: It's Dan's festival. Is the mayor coming? Is it even the same mayor as last time?

Ron: Oh, the mayor might come and then brag about how many other events he was at before Bristol Harborfest. That really me off.

Laura: I'm looking up Bristol Harbour Festival, the programme. Here we go. Ron, what's on 2025? Applications to perform are now closed. Uh, but we can sign up for 2026 if we want to. Maybe we should do. Oh my God. The first picture on it's water feet. There he is. Right, what's on stages? Millennium Square. Is that the one that was near to us?

Ron: It's all near to the harbour.

Laura: Sure. There's a death rave from six till nine on Friday night. Like a silent disco. I guess that's all they've got listed. I don't think this website's very good. Mhm. This all looks a bit speaky. Speaky? Yeah, I think this is a speaky speaky stage. There's lots of speeches about how to be a better person. The expression stage. Oh, just tell me what's happening at the main stages. You. You chodes. Right, here we go. Friday at, uh, the Amphor Theatre, Harbour View. We've got Daytura. Uh, it's an enigmatic classic rock and blues band reminiscent of Led Zeppelin, Hart and Neil Young's golden era of rock.

Ron: Why did you say Led Zeppelin like that?

Laura: Like what?

Ron: Say it again.

Laura: Led Zeppelin.

Ron: No, that was okay the first time. It sounded weird, but that was fine.

Laura: Did I say Zeppelin?

Ron: Yeah, that might have been what was weird about it.

Laura: Sometimes I depronounce all the letters in a word.

Ron: Hank, hold the phone. This looks like the most fun Bristol Cardboard boat race.

Laura: Yes. What time's that on Saturday? Yes. What time?

Ron: From 12:40 to 1.

Laura: Oh, that dog sounds weirdly close for a dog that I shut in the kitchen before I came upstairs. M. Okay.

Ron: Well, by the way, I was talking to girlfriend of the podcast yesterday. She full on thought you'd called your dog Uzo after, uh, the Greek Schnapps.

Laura: No, we're not doing Greek theming. We're doing Japanese theming.

Ron: Yeah. Um, the list of performers only goes up to H, so I can't see if Water Feet's on or not.

Laura: We can't say. We don't know what his name. He wasn't called Water Feet.

Ron: No. But as I said when we talked about this, I think earlier on in the week. What else is he doing? He's gonna be there. We should stop just going through the. The, uh.

Laura: Right.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: No, I found the. On the water bits, Ron. We've got pyronaut Fireboat again. We've got the steamers.

Ron: That was fine.

Laura: Great Britain again.

Ron: That was fine.

Laura: Young Shipwrights Model Boat Parade. My future, My Choice. And MV Balmoral.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: I think that might be the cardboard boat bit. Oh, no, that's the cardboard. The cardboard boat race has got actual people in couple boats. Yeah, that sounds good.

James Prestwood is the mayor of Bristol, technically

Ron: There he is. James Prestwood.

Laura: James Prestwood, of course, that was his name. There's a canoe and kayak sprint with Bristol Canoe Club.

Ron: Shut up. He's been flyboarding for nine years, mainly in the summer because of the weather.

Laura: It says on his 23ft metre hose.

Ron: James first seen the flyboard. Wow. This is written in a Bristol accent. James first seen the flyboard when he was in Ibiza, the late Avicii, and didn't really know what it was. So after realising that you need a jet ski to pump the water up, he decided to buy a jet ski and flyboard kit. And it all went from there. God. Who wrote this?

Laura: James Brestworth.

Ron: James has done many shows all over the country, including Jersey Boat Show, Bideford Fair, Bristol Harbour Festival, Dartmouth Regatta, Gloucester Tall Ships, Torbay Air Show, Southampton Boat show, and he's even doing several show several shows several times in Ireland.

Laura: Ron, you're never gonna believe this. Technically, the gigs that I'm doing when I'm down in Bristol are part of Bristol Harbourfest. I'm, um, in the festival, baby.

Ron: So you've shared a bill with James.

Laura: Prestwood, technically, and the mayor of Bristol.

Ron: Yeah. Is he gonna be there?

Laura: Probably not at my gig, no. But I reckon at the. At, uh, the festival.

01:05:00

Ron: Who's the mayor of Bristol at the moment? The Wikipedia for the Bristol mayor says that the last one left office in May 2024. So I don't know what imposter we were working last year.

Laura: Maybe we're a lot. Maybe that's the trick to it wrong. Maybe just anybody is allowed to turn up claiming they're the mayor. Maybe that's how you become the new mayor.

Ron: There is a new mayor. He's a baby boy mayor.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: He's got a lord mayor's consort called Joshua Lickley. He was born in 98. He is a baby boy mayor.

Laura: He's younger than you.

Ron: Yeah, nobody's younger than me.

Laura: Oh. Ah, we can take, um, child of the podcast to a, uh, Dancing Tots toddler party. Stop reading about the boy Mare.

Ron: I'm just confused. About the baby boy Mare is lord mayor's consort. Does that mean. Is that, like, the first lady?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Oh, I thought that was, like, an assistant or something. And then later on it talks about his partner, Joshua, and I was like, wait, is he married to his assistant? I was confused. But okay, I figured it out.

Class dismissed for this episode about Taskmaster Empress 2025

Laura: Um, well, listen, guys, thanks for listening to this episode about Taskmaster Empress 2025. Um, it's some classic Lex head shenanigans, and we hope you've loved it.

Ron: I don't feel like class dismissed is appropriate.

Laura: No, I think you should say, well, by the time they're listening to this Harbourfest. Dismissed.

Ron: Avici. Uh, Durchi.

Laura: Lovely. Hey, should we buy a jet Ski and, um, a, uh, waterboarding kit or whatever it's called?

Ron: I think you have to go to Ibiza to do that sort of thing.

Laura: Okay, we're gonna need to take the podcast to Ibiz. Sat.

01:07:16