Turning Upping In People

 Turning Upping In People

Welcome to another episode of Lex Education. It's the comedy science podcast

Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education. It's the comedy science podcast where comedian me, Laura Lex, tries to learn science from her nerdy, normal, younger, curly haired today, brother Ron.

Ron: Oh, yeah, my hair is curly today.

Laura: It's the great Bronzo.

Ron: I can't wait to get my hair cut on Wednesday.

Laura: Ooh, it'll be all fresh for when I come and see you.

A week in Bristol is beckoning me. You don't have to convince me that Bristol's great

A week in Bristol is beckoning me.

Ron: Yes, we all love Bristol. The nicest city in the uk.

Laura: Hey, I'm not Judith. You don't have to convince me that Bristol's great and you should live there.

Ron: Oh, well, that's the frustrating thing about Judith, because she agrees, but it's still not on the cards.

Laura: Well, you just gotta find her the right job. I think convincing her is not the thing. You've got to find her the right job.

Ron: Um, yeah, job's a big part of it. But also faf. Uh, to get back to Austria.

Laura: Oh, God, stop going to Austria.

Ron: That's where she's from.

Laura: So.

Ron: That'S the thing, we never want to go home, so it doesn't really factor in for me, like when I'm choosing, when I'm choosing something to live, I'm like, is this a nice place to live? And then I kind of make the decision based off of that. Other people don't do it like that.

Laura: Yeah. I live a really annoying place to get back to Somerset from. It's fine.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Ah. Anyhow.

Ron: But as soon as you left home, you always lived in places there were a faff to get back to Somerset from.

Laura: Yeah, it's not so much. But the thing is though, I've lived in incredibly well connected places. I just think Somerset is a faff to get to.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Or not. Not all of it, obviously. And I mean, Taunton's not even that hard, but like Bristol. Oh. Ah, it's two and a half hours from here. That's dandy. Fine, fine, fine. But when you add on that extra hour of squiggly country roads to get home. Home? Yeah, I lived in central London. Like, like that's the most connected place in the country.

Ron: Oh, no. Oh. Uh, but before that you lived in Canterbury.

Laura: Oh, yes, but that was a, that was a conscious choice for me to go to a uni where I couldn't slip home all the time because I knew I'd want to. Um, so I was like, I'm gonna go far away and crack on. I'm gonna be super homesick and I'm gonna want to go home every weekend. I. I'M going to go as super far away so that I can't.

Ron: Interesting. I googled best universities in the UK for molecular biology. Applied to the top five, went to the one that was the best one I got into. That's how I chose where I went to university.

Laura: You're very smart, Ron. If I'd done that, I possibly would have done a course that I liked, but then I wouldn't have had a life that I loved. So difficult.

Ron: Yeah.

This episode still has a smack of Schneider to it

Laura: Anywho, um, you've just come back from Brussels.

Ron: Yes, I was in Brussels.

Laura: That's an easy city to get to.

Ron: Yeah, yeah, Brussels is easy.

Laura: I was there just weeks ago.

Ron: Yeah, that was fun.

Laura: That was very fun. It was massive.

Ron: Yeah. We got you some cherry beer.

Laura: I love cherry beer.

Ron: We talked about New Zealand, which, uh, segue is, um, what we're talking about at the beginning of this episode, because somehow we're still in New Zealand town.

Laura: Are we?

Ron: Yeah, you're just about to get on the plane.

Laura: Oh, I was there for so long. So long.

Ron: This episode still has a smack of Schneider to it.

Younger Sister of the Podcast has bought a podcast mic

Laura: In exciting semi New Zealand related news run, Younger Sister of the Podcast has bought a podcast mic this week. Finally, she's ready to properly get on the team. So listen up, listeners, if you've been into any of our Patreon episodes that have featured Younger Sister of the podcast, or maybe you're not a patron, but you've heard her on, um, various intros and bits and bobs here and there. Let us know what else you want Younger Sister of the Podcast to get into. We love making her do lots and lots of true crime research and let's face it, she loves doing it. But we could force her to do other stuff.

Ron: Yeah, uh, I think, yeah, we should make, uh, her just be really earnest about things.

Laura: Oh, she'd hate that. Yeah, she'd really hate that.

Ron: We do have to. If we're gonna be producing more content, though, she's got to learn how to edit some of it.

Laura: Um, then we'd have to give her some of our money, I think.

Ron: No.

Laura: So wait, she's. She's not only

00:05:00

Laura: making the content for free, she's also then shaping the content for free. But we don't pay her. I don't think she. We're allowed to make her, ah, our slave. She's already got miners money now because she's paid for that podcast mic herself.

Ron: Ooh, yeah, I feel bad about that. Oh, well, all right, backpedal on that idea.

Laura: So just Younger sister of the podcast, who is an avid listener. Also, when you get to this episode, I would like you to, um, text the WhatsApp group that you made for me, you and Ron, that you named idiots. And I, uh, would like you to give me some credit that I was the one that said you shouldn't be in slavery.

Ron: Look, and I'm not angling for anything because, um, I respect you, so.

Laura: That's not true. He doesn't respect you at all. Um, okay, well, should we fling the listeners back to New Zealand?

Ron: Let's do it.

Ron Schneider says he watched four films on his flight home from London

Laura: All right. We're both in the morning.

Ron: Ron, welcome to the Northern hemisphere.

Laura: Oh, our flight home, Ron was um, like something in a sitcom for bad long haul flights. We were in a section where they'd clearly and smartly, for everybody else on the plane, just put all the kids in one area because, you know, and it was like as soon as one baby stopped screaming, another one started. So I think a baby screamed for probably 15 out of the 17 hours who were on this flight. And there was some poor kid that I couldn't see but could hear, smell and viscerally react to. Just bless them, chuck their guts up like an animal for such a long time. Oh God, you just felt so awful for them. But they were throwing up with that childish abandon where there was no need to try and like play this down in any way, you know. Oh, uh, I felt so bad for them because you're like, man, you are not well. But oh my God, it was revolting.

Ron: That sounds like a nightmare.

Laura: Yeah, it was pretty, pretty bad.

Ron: At least your kid was one of the good ones.

Laura: Oh, our kids were amazing. And on the way back I managed to even watch, I think four. Oh yeah? What did you watch? I forgotten, Ron. I managed to, ah, I thought I watched four films, but I've utterly forgotten what one of them was. Or I just watched three films, but I definitely watched Roxanne, um, the Steve Martin film. Thoroughly enjoyed myself. And then I watched, um, Fly Me to the Moon with Channing Tatum and Scarlett Johansson. I had a lovely time with that film. And then I watched a trippy film that I really was like, why are you watching this? Sleep deprived. 12 hours into the flight called Dream Sequence, where Nicolas Cage is a utterly boring professor who starts just appearing in people's dreams. Um, and then he, he's like really enjoying the fame of like being this weird phenomenon where this same guy has just started turning up in people's dreams and then he starts like murdering and hurting people in their dreams and then they shun him and uh, his life collapses and falls apart.

Ron: Weird.

Laura: It said comedy gold on the front. And, um. Nope.

Ron: At least you finished it.

Laura: Yeah, finished three films. I watched half of Barbie movie. Well, no, 45 minutes of Barbie movie and was like, this is trash. Why did this get so much attention? This is not a not good.

Ron: Girl power.

Laura: I didn't get it one bit. I was like, there's some really cute set pieces, but. But I don't understand why this got the hype that it got. I did. Maybe you had to watch the whole thing, But I got 45 minutes in and was like, even on a plane with nothing else to do. I don't care about finishing this film.

Ron: I've never seen a second of it. Um, so I can't really comment. But it was one where just, like, the hype got insane.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And I remember when it came out and I didn't watch it, like, people like, oh, you're not gonna go see it? Why not? It's like it's got nothing in it of anything that I've ever been, like, a fan of.

Laura: I guess that's how I felt. I was like, well, I never really played with Barbies that much, and I'm not that interested. So obviously I haven't gone to see it in the two years it's been out or whatever. But then on a plane, I was like, oh, everybody says it's good. And, you know, I just want something peppy and distracting like, yeah, cool, I'll watch this. And I was just sort of. I don't know. I don't know what I could have been expecting, but, um. Ah. Uh,

00:10:00

Laura: baffled. Utterly baffled.

Ron: Should have watched Oppenheimer instead.

Laura: Oh, geez, can you imagine?

Ron: Would have been science. He could have talked about it now.

Laura: Yeah, that's true.

Ron: Maybe we'll watch Oppenheimer for my birthday.

Laura: Oh, uh. God.

Ron: I've seen Oppenheimer twice. Both times in cinema, which I think is the best place to watch, and I don't feel any need to watch it again.

Laura: Oh, uh, thank God. Okay, then we can't do it.

Ron: They can watch Rob Schneider's the Animal.

Laura: Yeah, I forgot to search for that to see if it was on there, but it didn't come up on comedies. And they'd have put it as number one, surely.

Ron: I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't. If it wasn't anywhere. Like, the last VHS of that was in a landfill somewhere. Okay, Laura, can you remember what we were doing last time?

Laura: Hey, Ron. In Chemistry. Empirical and Molecular Formulae.

Ron: Yes, the unjuzable hands. Uh, the unjuzzable topic.

Ron says he doesn't like wiggly, silly kids things

Um, so here's the thing, Laura.

Laura: The unjuzzable for Molly Brown.

Ron: No, what is it?

Laura: The Unsinkable Molly Brown. Is that a thing? Hang on, hang on. The un.

Ron: The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

Laura: Yes. The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

Ron: Wow. She slays in every picture of her. Who is this person?

Laura: Well, I think she was on the Titanic because I think. Yes. In the James Cameron version, she's played by that brilliant woman who is with the big dogs in the office.

Ron: Oh, yes, I know. I don't know the actor's name.

Laura: What is she called? Rough guy. Uh, I've been watching a lot of Tiny Chef this morning.

Ron: Is that like big cook, Little cook, Kathy Bates?

Laura: Come on, Lauren. Ron, Everybody's been screaming into their headphones. Um, no, Tiny Chef's on social, um, media. He's a tiny, little green, um, chef. And you can't talk properly. You'd probably hate it, I think, but it's very up my street.

Ron: Oh, the. The woollen.

Laura: The woollen blob that cooks in a tree stump.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I, um. Yeah, I. I've seen some stuff.

Laura: Blairo. That's how he talks.

Ron: Anyway, Laura, it's not for you.

Laura: Ron, you don't like wiggly, silly kids things.

Ron: I do sometimes.

Laura: When you're a child. Yeah.

Ron: And sometimes when I'm feeling whimsical. No, I don't like this idea of me that I'm some Grinch that hates no kids films.

Laura: The grinches for children 1. You can't be a Grinch.

Ron: No, no, no.

Laura: You're Freddy Krueger.

Ron: You are completely misconstruing my point here. It's not that I hate these things or even that I think they're bad, but it's when you come to me, you're like, what you haven't seen Inside out six.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: How have you not seen that? It was such a. Because I'm not a child and I don't have one. So I haven't seen it. But I'm not casting a value judgement on it. That. That's why I haven't seen it.

Laura: So. So what have I got wrong in my thing of. You don't like things for children. No, no.

Ron: It's not that I don't like them.

Laura: It's just. You don't choose to watch them because you don't get any joy from them. But you do like them.

Ron: No, no, no. It's the expectation of me to have watched them.

Laura: Because if you Liked them. You'd have watched them. That's how people function. What?

Ron: So I'm just gonna go to the cinema with a bunch of kids and watch Inside out six?

Laura: Yeah, I did. And it's two. There isn't a six. In the same way, you took yourself to see Oppenheimer because you wanted to, because you like that sort of thing. Other people, other things.

Ron: No, it's weird.

Laura: Yes. I went to see Inside out, too. Alone in, uh, Norfolk.

Ron: Yeah. But you are developmentally stunted.

Laura: So are you.

Ron: No, I'm emotion. I had no idea what was going on in the first one.

Laura: Somebody on the Internet tried to, um, help me out with this one. Somebody on the Internet, I think, was trying to fat shame me earlier today by commenting on, uh, a video saying, what did they put 5 foot by 4 foot tall? Now I think they're trying to say I'm fat there. Like,

00:15:00

Laura: I'm 5 foot high, 4 foot wide. But have they accidentally said I'm 20 foot squared tall?

Ron: 20 foot tall? Yeah.

Laura: But is it 20 foot tall or would it be squared?

Ron: Well, 5 by 4 is 20.

Gary: Someone accidentally said I'm 20 foot tall in maths lesson

It. Yeah, it. I think the tall makes it sound like you just do the sum and then that's the direction.

Laura: So I think they've sort of accidentally said I'm 20 foot tall, which I find very funny. When they were trying to be so rude, and it's, uh, failed miserably.

Ron: They're not smart people. If they were, they'd have better things to do with their time.

Laura: Oh, for sure, Ron. But I do, um. I guess I just, uh. I like the creativity sometimes that people try, and then when it goes wrong, it's very funny to me.

Ron: Yeah. The. You got to assume. I don't know. I always assume with these things that it's not creative. And either they came up with this, and then they keep on using it because they think it's great, which is deeply sad.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Someone else came up with it. They saw it. They were like, oh, nice one, Gary. I'm, um, gonna use that to attack women as well. And then they've not spotted there.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Anywho. So we were doing formulae, and it was unjuzzable, Just like Molly Brown. Where are we now, Ron?

Ron: Um, so there's kind of this bit at the end, and it's still unusual. It's balanced equations and associated calculations.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: So I was thinking, let's not do this right now.

Laura: They sound like two departments in a really sad office. Yeah, we're gonna be merging balanced equations and associated ramifications what was the formula?

Ron: Associated calculations. Coming over for dinner later.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. Um, I used to be the cca. Cc. My playmate. Ah. Associated calculations.

Ron: Leave an edit break. And you can take another run at that if you want.

Laura: Cco, cpo, cdo, C, A, O, C, C. Coo. COO of, uh. It's gone. The train has left the station, pulling my corpse along behind it. So did you say we're not doing that?

Ron: Well, I was thinking, you know, because we're gonna. We'll do practise papers and stuff before we do the exam. Let's do the maths then, rather than a whole lesson of just here's equations.

Laura: Yeah. Because this is our last record for a couple of weeks, Ron, so it feels a little bit like a little bon voyage sesh. So I think we should have fun.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I'll write on pause in capitals underneath that.

We're going to talk about Laura Bonding instead of Sims expansion

Ron: We're going to talk about today instead. Laura Bonding.

Laura: Ooh.

Ron: Yes. Yes, indeed. A lot of this will be stuff that we've already covered.

Laura: Okay, that immediately makes me think of an advert for a film that was on a VHS that we must have had as kids about some birds that hatched and, um, bonded to a man and he had to teach them how to fly. And it wasn't animated. I wonder what that was called. Flyaway Home. My brain is saying Fly away Home. Yeah. Yeah, it was, Ron. See, can't remember what tertiary quadrinary means, but that advert for Fly Away Home starring Jeff Daniels and Anna Paquin is hard in my head.

Ron: Jeff Daniels?

Laura: Uh, yeah.

Ron: Is this the one where he's got to, like, lead the geese? Yeah, yeah, I remember that film.

Laura: What a. What a problem. I don't. I don't think I ever watched it.

Ron: I just remember Daniels would get it in that film.

Laura: Jeff Daniels would get it in every film. I don't think I've seen the film. I think it was just on the advertisement on the honour thing came out in 1996, Ron. So you were not, uh, even one when that film came out?

Ron: Depending on when it came out.

Laura: September. So I'd already worked that out. Actually dramatises the actual experiences of Bill lishman, who, in 1986, just 10 years prior to the film, started training Canada geese to follow his ultralight aircraft and succeeded in leading their migration in 1993 through his programme, Operation Migration.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Whoa. It starts out in New Zealand, Ron.

Ron: Whoa.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, okay,

00:20:00

Ron: so we're doing a bonding for the novel.

Laura: See, Jennifer Weiner. Hm. She's written a few Films that have been turned into. No, books that have been turned into films.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: She went to Simsbury High School. Man, she just had to sit in a chair reading and reading and reading for hours to get her skills.

Ron: And sometimes she'd play chess against herself.

Laura: Yeah, painting in the basement.

Ron: Why in the basement?

Laura: That's where people paint in Sims.

Ron: What was your favourite Sims expansion?

Laura: Um, well, I always love having pets and I did really disliked ever travelling to other spaces. So maybe making magic.

Ron: Interesting. What about making magic was the best one there were.

Laura: Please.

Ron: Um, you had. You could get dragons. Although you did travel to the other spaces sometimes with the. With, uh, making magic, you had to do that thing where you had to, uh. You had to touch all the mushrooms before the fairy and. Yeah, some people just like, queue up touching all the mushrooms. What you actually had to do was run to the mushrooms, then touch it.

Laura: Ron knows.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Uh, that was the way to get the most aesthetically pleasing kitchen.

Ron: Touching the mushrooms.

Laura: No, having. Making magic.

Ron: Yeah. You could craft gnomes. Transform people.

Laura, we're looking at bonding. What types of bond can you name

Anyway, Laura, we're looking at bonding. What? Different types of bond can you name?

Laura: Ionic, covalent and a third one.

Ron: This is like when, um, Copper does something gross, but you can't really explain it, but you never ever want to see him again.

Laura: What?

Ron: Metallic. A metal ick.

Laura: Oh, that is much more broadcastable than what I was putting together in my head.

Ron: Oh, God. So, Laura, ionic bonding, how does that work?

Laura: Ionic bonding is when, uh, one atom attracts an electron across off another atom and it's, it's. It's borrowed. And so then the charge is changed on two atoms and so they're chargingly stuck together.

Ron: Yes and no. Sometimes one steals the other one, but it's just the fact that one has one and the other one doesn't. So ionic bonding lore is like Love Island. Okay.

Laura: Loving the sh.

Ron: Everyone's either missing something or they have too much baggage. Their connections are based off what they don't have in common and who their usual type is. And if they're single, they're just careening around looking for someone else to match up with.

Laura: With. Got. Yeah.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: I've never watched an episode of Love Island.

Ron: It's, um, it's one of those shows that's fantastic at the beginning, but the slow death march towards the end is, um, really gruelling and I, I believe bad for the soul.

Laura: Right, but you're still doing it.

Ron: No, uh, we usually start a series and get a while in and then give up.

Laura: Got you. What was that? The door or the Cat? I don't know.

Ron: I think the cat presume they'll knock again if it was the door. Um, what shape do ions form when they go into a superstructure? Like a big amount of them.

Laura: I don't know. Figure it out.

Ron: An ionic lattice. Do you remember that?

Laura: No.

Ron: Oh, I didn't want to do ions. I thought you fucking got this.

Laura: Well, uh, I do. I did know what it was, didn't I? I said that. Right, But I can't remember. An ionic lattice.

Ron: You know how, like, salt is cubes.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: That's a lattice.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Just look at this and understand it. Okay.

Laura: You're a bad teacher. Yeah, that looks familiar. Yeah.

Ron: We don't have to go through that again, do we?

Laura: No, we'll be fine, Ron. I think the less we re. Go over, the. The more.

Ron: The more. Exactly. Um, so we're just like, there's two. It says there's two things that students should be able to do, so we'll just run through those.

Laura, what ion do you think calcium would form? Let me look at a periodic table

Laura, what ion do you think calcium would form?

Laura: Let me have a look at a periodic table for information. Is that okay?

Ron: Absolutely. That's what you need to do.

Laura: Okay, so it's an alkaline earth metal. So a metallic bond.

Ron: I asked for what ion it would form. Uh, not what bond it would make.

Laura: What. What's the question then?

Ron: What ion would calcium form? You know, uh, like. So, um, salt is sodium chloride. So you've got an NA plus and a CL minus.

Laura: What.

Ron: What would calcium form?

Laura: Okay, so it's, uh, it's in group two. M. Which means maybe nothing. No, that means it's quite reactive. So it's gonna.

Ron: What does being in group two mean?

Laura: Fuck. It's got two shells, and it's got four guys in its outer ring there in pairs, so it's got.

Ron: Where. Where are you getting two shells from?

Laura: Because it's in group two. What's happening?

Ron: How many electrons does hydrogen have in its outer shell?

Laura: 1.

Ron: How many electrons does lithium have in its outer shell?

Laura: 2.

Ron: Why would that be the case?

Laura: Does it not.

Ron: Why don't you remember things when we talk about them? Oh, uh, like.

Laura: Does it not. It has one in its inner shell and then two in its outer shell. Other way around, Two. And it's in a shell. One and it's outer shell. Ron, it's me, Laura. Hello. Uh, you close your mental door.

Ron: Why can't, uh, you just get something? Why is nothing a given? Sometimes I feel like I have some stability in this podcast, and I have a base to build off of.

Laura: Ripped Away from me. But look at how hard I'm trying.

Ron: Yeah. How long have we been recording?

Laura: 23 minutes.

Ron: Seven more minutes. Seven more minutes. Look, there's no point in it, right? Okay.

Number of rows is the number of electrons in the outer shell

We're not moving on to covalent bonds, which is what we're supposed to be doing. We're sticking in ions, the number of rows. The acrossors is the number of shells.

Laura: Okay. Rows is shells. Okay.

Ron: The number of groups or columns or up downers is the number of electrons in the outer shell.

Laura: That is literally what I said first time. I said it's got two electrons in its outer shell. Because it's in group two.

Ron: Yes, but you said that for lithium.

Laura: I didn't. I said it for calcium.

Ron: We were talking about lithium at the time.

Laura: No, you asked me about calcium. Um, you asked me what calcium would make in an ion, and you said.

Ron: It'S got two shells and four electrons

00:30:00

Ron: in its outer shell. That's what you said. Well, and then we moved on to lithium. And then you said it's got two electrons in its outer shell.

Laura: So I'm right.

Ron: No, for lithium. No, you're wrong for lithium, too.

Laura: Oh, uh, right. So calcium has got four shells and two in its outer shell.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: The question was, what type of ion does it form?

Laura: A, uh, negative ion.

Ron: Talk me through it.

Laura: Positive ion.

Ron: Talk me through it.

Laura: No, I don't know. It's four shells out, so the nucleus has got less pull. But the two, uh. On the outside.

Ron: Wrong. Just think about the electrons in the outer shell.

Laura: They've got. They're in a pair. There isn't a spare one, but there's loads of space.

Ron: What is an ion?

Laura: A bond. A charged thing.

Ron: What's happened to that atom to make it an ion?

Laura: It's either lost or gained an electron.

Ron: Is it always one electron?

Laura: Could be more.

Ron: Um. It either empties or fills its shell.

Laura: Does it? I didn't know that.

Ron: So what ion would catch.

Laura: I think that's the first time you've ever said that.

Ron: I don't think so. Empty fills its shell literally years.

Laura: I didn't know that, Ron. That's new information. Ions are supermarket workers. Okay, so I think it's more likely to empty its shell then because it's got two in its outer ring.

Ron: So what ion would it form?

Laura: A positive ion.

Ron: What ion?

Laura: Calcium 2.0. Calcium salt. Calcium chloride. What's do I need to know who it matches up with?

Ron: Who's got six calcium two plus.

Laura: Right. This is new information.

Ron: No, it's not. No, it's not you stupid little worm. Um, this is not new information. Right, we'll do a couple more of these now.

Laura: Right. Well, now I know what I'm doing, and you've actually taught it to me, it's gonna be much easier.

What ion does fluorine make? Right. Fluorine is over here. It's got 17 electrons in its outer ring

Ron: What ion does fluorine make?

Laura: Right. Fluorine is over here. It's got 17 electrons in its outer ring. Doesn't feel right.

Ron: It's not right.

Laura: It's got two electrons in its outer ring.

Ron: That's also wrong, isn't it?

Laura: Fuck. It's got seven in its outer ring.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: So that is going to make fluorine minus one. Yep.

Ron: M. Yep. You can also say fluorine minus, but that's absolutely correct. What ion does, uh, helium make?

Laura: Doesn't. It's a stable, noble gas.

Ron: Beautiful. Well done. What ion, um, does potassium make?

Laura: Potassium. Potassium. Over there. That's got potassium plus.

Ron: Absolutely. Not all ions are just elements. Some of them are molecules that are ions. You have to learn these as homework. If you don't know all of these by the next time we record, I quit.

Laura: No, because it's months away and I won't remember.

Ron: You need to learn all of those. Those are important.

Laura: Can you text me about it every three days to remind me?

Ron: No, that's just on you. That's responsibility that you have.

Laura: I will remember it six minutes before the recording.

Do you know all of these things you must know for your quiz

Ron: Sulphate, hydroxide, nitrate, carbonate, ammonium. All of these things you must know.

Laura: Do you know them?

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Tell me them right now.

Ron: Sulphate, ammonium, hydroxyl, carbonate.

Laura: And what are they? What are their ions?

Ron: Ammonium is NH4.

Laura: Yep.

Ron: Sulphate is SO4, two hydroxide's. Oh, minus. We talk about that one all the time.

Laura: Oh, yeah, that's in carboxyl groups.

Ron: It's in water.

Laura: Hydroxyl groups.

Ron: Yeah. Carbonate, CO3, 2 and nitrate is. No, 3. Single minus.

Laura: Okay, I will learn. Uh, those.

Ron: All right. See you for the quiz.

Laura: Have fun in Sweden.

Ron: I will.

Laura: All. Ron, Um, I just think we're in so much trouble here. The problem with the note.

Ron: Your homework.

Laura: Well, the problem was because you. You text me at like, 20 to 1 and said, I'm ready from whenever. And I was like, lovely. I just finished making this absolute banging cheese on toast. And then I'll head up. And I. And then I headed up. And even while the toast was cooking, I came upstairs and plugged my laptop in and slightly got ready. And I looked at the page and it says balanced equations and associated calculations.

Ron: And I do have to do that, to be fair. You do have to walk Away from cheese on toast.

Laura: What do you mean?

Ron: You don't like you, do you? It takes longer than you think.

Laura: Here's the thing, though. I've started doing it in the air fryer. Uh, it's absolutely magnificent. I can't believe I haven't discussed this with you yet. Right.

Ron: I love cheese on toast.

Laura: Cheese on toast is magnificent. Right. But the bottom of the toast. Do you toast the bread before you then do the cheesy bit and then you get slightly over burned crust?

Ron: No, no, no, you just do it very, very blonde.

Laura: Here's the thing, though. With air fryer, you don't need to. You butter the butt of the toast, cheese the top of it, put it in the air fryer for five minutes. At 200, you get.

Ron: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You got raw bread under that cheese.

Laura: Yeah, but because you're. It goes crunch.

Ron: Do you promise?

Laura: Yeah, because it goes like French toast. Because you're frying the bottom of it.

Talk to me about your cheese on toast recipe. It's divine

Ron: Talk to me about your cheese on toast recipe. What are you. What's going on? That bread?

Laura: Depends what I'm in the mood for. It depends. I might have a bit of Worcestershire. Might have a bit of Marmite in with my cheese.

Ron: Worcestershire's good. You're not a. Oh, no. You don't like ketchup?

Laura: No, I don't like ketchup.

Ron: Such a fucking horny slut. For a tuna melt cheese on toast.

Laura: Make a tuna melt cheese on toast in your air fryer, Ron.

Ron: Yeah, that might be a weekend.

Laura: Get fluffy fried bread, feeling from the bottom bit, you get the cheese. Gets a real good grill to it. You know, it goes like orangey bubbly. Within five minutes, the crusts go just superbly crunchy.

Ron: Do you know what I'm obsessed with at the moment? Harissa.

Laura: Yeah, harissa's good. Oh, do you have that hat? Mackerel and potato salad with the harissa.

Ron: You've made it for me. It's divine. I love it. No, I made, um, harissa and tomato pasta the other day. And so on my sort of, um, quest to very, very gradually, with a lot of, um, ups and downs, become vegetarian. One of the things I've always struggled to replace is chorizo.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Because of the flav, the complex flavour profile. And I think harissa, um, might be the thing. So I'm gonna try and make like. I'm gonna try and make a chilli with harissa to see if it gives it that smoky richness.

Laura: When you're a few months out of having had actual chorizo uh, try the. Oh, my vegan chorizo bits from the supermarket. I think they're pea protein.

Ron: Interesting.

Laura: They. I don't think they would hold up against actual chorizo. Had you just eaten some. But I certainly had it a few months ago and was, like, banging, because I've not had chorizo for years now. So, uh, to me, I was like, great. And I think even Tom, we had them in something. And even Tom was like, oh, yeah, these are great. Like, sure, I'd rather have chorizo, but these are great.

Ron: I can hear that in his voice. Exactly.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. Uh, which. I know that doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement, but I think there's no.

Ron: From Tom. That's a ringing endorsement.

Laura: Yeah. There's no point pretending that meat replacements, like, oh, you could take a bite out of this and a bite out of wagyu steak and you wouldn't. You'll know the difference. But the point is, when you've forgotten how good meat is and you eat this, will you be okay with it? And with those. Yes.

Ron: Yeah. Here's my question, though. Did it. Did you cook with it?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And then did it leak all of the delicious taste into everything else? Because that's the bit that I need

00:40:00

Ron: from Trito. I'm okay to not, like, bite into it, but it's, uh, an important part of the flavour profile when I'm cooking a chilli con carne. And quite often I'll do, like, flexi. Flexitarian meals where it's like, it's a bean chilli, but I've put chorizo in there for the flavour.

Laura: Yeah, yeah. Um, I don't remember. What I do remember is that it fried up and got that, like, sticky, crunchy texture.

Ron: Delicious. I haven't had lunch yet, which is why all the food.

Laura didn't do her homework, Ron, so she's minus eight points

Laura: So is there any point trying to do a quiz?

Ron: Um, well, minus eight points because you didn't do your homework.

Laura: I don't even know what the homework was, Ron, because I think it was.

Ron: Just to learn those things.

Laura: But learn them how?

Ron: As in, like, commit them to memory?

Laura: What? Just. Oh, negative.

Ron: Yeah. What is that?

Laura: Oh, I don't know. Um, a hydroxyl group hydroxide ion. Right.

Ron: What's the next one?

Laura: Oh, that was the third in the list, actually. I don't know why. Okay, the first one is NH4 plus.

Ron: NH4 plus an ammonium ion.

Laura: See, I didn't write down what they were. I've just made a list of these letters.

Ron: M. You're a nonsense human being.

Laura: I'M really glad you carried on after the first syllable there. Um, Ammonium. Um. Iron.

Ron: I've said a lot of horrible things about you, Laura, but I've never thought you were a nonce.

Laura: Thanks, Ron. That's really good.

You're halfway through season four of Desperate Housewives

Ron: Oh, my God. Judith and I have just gotten to the point of Desperate Housewives where they just jump forward for five years for no reason.

Laura: Oh, I think I was already out by then.

Ron: Uh, it's just like an episode ends and then you get like two minutes at the end of the episode where it's like five years later and we were like, oh, okay, a flash forward and then the next episode starts and it's still in the future.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: Crazy bit of business.

Laura: Busy. I mean, they just. They just do things mad.

Ron: The, um, the writing has started to drop off. Characters now have different, like, personalities episode to episode.

Laura: Right.

Ron: Have like a. Consisting writer's room going on.

Laura: Oh. Ah, that's sad. How many series in are you halfway through season four. Oh, that's early for that to be happening.

Ron: Yeah, it's just like Mike Delfino, one of the main, main characters, obviously he was just southern for one episode. He was like, speaking with an accent.

Laura: Huh. Huh?

Ron: Yeah, it's really odd. And then Carl came back, and obviously Carl's a bit hot, but then he was not hot in this episode.

Laura: Carlos?

Ron: No, Carl. Susan's ex husband, Carl.

Laura: Oh, I. It's been too long for me since I watched it properly, so.

Ron: Good. No, Carlos is currently blind loss, which is what we call him.

Laura: Blind. Has he gone blind?

Ron: He went blind in a tornado and it's really unclear how it happened. Uh, maybe for my birthday this year we'll do a Desperate Housewives episode. That would be so fun.

Laura: I'll be. I'm in. I'd be very up for that. Ron. I love me some housewives. I don't care if they're real or desperate. I'll be there. Do you know Desperate Housewives was what first kicked off Real Housewives, though?

Ron: Yeah, you said when, uh, when me and Judith first started watching it, it was very funny listening to you and, um, the. The way we were gals nattered and then having an hours long text message about Real Housewives. Yeah, it feels like the. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City has spawned a bunch of Mormon wives shows.

Laura: Well, Mormon documentaries have always been hella popular because. Wtf. Um, so a bit of reality there. Um, yeah. What are you playing with? It sounds like farting.

Ron: No, that was just, um, the shorts that I was wearing, they made A.

Laura: Fart noise from my butthole within them.

Laura, please describe ionic bonding. Ionic bonding is when an electron attracted to another atom

Ron: Laura, please describe ionic bonding.

Laura: Ionic bonding is when an electron attracted from its original atom to another atom, and then that atom has a positive, um, char. Negative charge because it has an extra electron, and the atom it left has a positive charge. And so those atoms stick together.

Ron: Why do they stick together?

Laura: Because they're oppositely charged.

Ron: Okay. Um. Is it always one electron?

Laura: Yeah. No.

Ron: Is it always one thing? Getting attracted to one

00:45:00

Ron: thing?

Laura: No. Could be a molecule.

Ron: Polycule could be a molecule. Um, not bad. But I think something that you can sort of lose from that answer. It's. I don't think it would lose you marks in an exam, but the. The bit with where you're saying sort of one atom steals an electron.

Laura: I didn't say steals.

Ron: Attracts over one electron from the other one. You don't really need that bit because a. Then it's not always like that. There might just be two different ions because you've mixed two compounds together and then they're going to get joined together. They're not always taking things from each other. Um, and. Yeah, that. That's kind of the point there. Other than that, it was all right.

Laura: So an ionic bond is just a positively charged atom connecting to a negatively charged one.

Ron: It's. It's two ions being attracted to each other because they're differently charged. Yeah. And you could, um. You could have one that's like two minus, and then that would be attracted to. And then to balance that, it would be attracted to two ions that are, uh, one plus, if that makes sense.

Laura: So you just fundamentally changed the. The description. It always used to be about an electron. Now the electrons, just. Just by the by.

Ron: Yeah, well, no, I think. I think where you're getting that from is because I think the, uh. When we first started talking about this, it would have been in the context of sodium, and maybe sodium chloride is probably. Is where most ion conversations start. And then. So if you react chlorine and sodium, you do get that bit where they're sort of robbing electrons off each other and stuff. But on the base description of an ionic bond, the story can start later than that.

Laura: Right.

Ron: Okay, Laura, what structure did a large ionic compounds form? Like a grain of salt, for example?

Laura: A lattice.

Ron: Yes, exactly. Well done. A giant ionic lattice. Um, okay, Laura, what's covalent bonding?

Laura: Covalent bonding is when two ions or atoms are connected via a shared electron.

Ron: A shared electron?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: A shared electron.

Laura: Yeah. Oh, uh, call me St. Peter of Science, because he's gonna ask again and.

Ron: I'm gonna share an electron.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: No. A pair of shared electrons.

Laura: A pair of shared electrons. A pair share in an old oak tree.

Ron: Huh, Laura? And we might not have covered this, but. Okay. What's a dative covalent bond?

Laura: Ooh. Um. Dative covalent bond. That is where covalent.

Ron: When we bond, I think that's where.

Laura: They come and go a bit. Like, sometimes they're together, sometimes they go off, sometimes they come back again.

Ron: No, I, uh, don't know if we covered this, to be honest. A date of covalent bond is when both electrons in the pair that's shared for the covalent bond provided by one of the atoms.

Laura: Oh, that's not a healthy relationship.

Ron: No. And that's what I said in my zhuzh about this, but, um, I don't know if we went through this. I can't remember what fucking happened in this episode at all.

Ron: I just had cheese on toast and I feel amazing

My next question on the. I think we had a real end of term feel because we knew that there was going to be a recording break, and I think we did very little during the bulk of this episode.

Laura: Yeah. I haven't got loads in the notes.

Ron: No. Well, let's call it a day there. We've had a lovely time. We talked about cheese on toast. God, I want some lunch.

Laura: Have some cheese on toast, Ron. Have some air fryer. Cheese on toast.

Ron: I don't have any bread, Ron. I don't keep bread in the house.

Laura: Why do you keep it on the front step? That seems annoying, just stepping over it.

Ron: I don't buy bread because then I eat bread.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: All the bread.

Laura: Delicious bread. Bread, bread, bread. Breadly bread.

Ron: Now, lunches are quite a miserable affair at the Ron household, although I've grown to love them. But I just eat vegetables.

Laura: Gross.

Ron: And oats for breakfast.

Laura: Huh. Oh, God, your life sounds awful. Why?

Ron: No, it's

00:50:00

Ron: good.

Laura: Is it?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Doesn't seem good.

Ron: Well, it is, because here's the thing. The eating is not great, but then you feel good in between the eating.

Laura: But I just had cheese on toast and I feel amazing.

Ron: No, you don't, Laura.

Laura: I do.

Ron: No, you don't. That's a lie.

Laura: I feel great. Oh, my God, Ron, did I tell you? No. We're gonna do the next episode and I'm gonna tell you my wonderful thing.

Ron: Oh.

Laura: There we go. I can't remember this episode, really. I was in a fog. Was that the one where I was really hot sitting next to a. Sitting next to an airbed?

Ron: Uh, yes, you were. Ne. No, you weren't. Next to the Airbed. Because in this episode, I point out, why don't you sleep in the air bed instead of the bed that you're complaining about? And you are like, oh, shit, we've.

Laura: Probably deflated the air bed by this point. Ready to pack?

Ron: No. You just never thought of it. Tom had left weeks before.

Laura: No, I mean, though. I mean, um, by the time we're recording this, I'd probably unpack. I'd probably deflated it to pack it.

Ron: I think you deflated it ages ago. Because Tom had left weeks before.

Laura: No, because Child of the Podcast was sleeping on it.

Ron: That's not what you were saying in this episode.

Laura: I think, uh, I've forgotten. I wanted to leave it in New Zealand because It was only $5 or something. Or dollars that equated to 5 pounds. And I was like, don't need it this much. And then younger sister podcast was like, no, I quite need an airbed. And then she brought it all the way back and then left it at my house. My house is such a repository for stuff that you guys don't want.

Ron: Like what. What have I left there?

Laura: Oh, a guitar. Like, bags of records. That's Dad's.

Ron: Uh, he really wants that back.

Laura: Uh, he doesn't want it back. He just wants to know it's safe. Oh, so it's just at my house when no one knows how to play the guitar.

Ron: It's not my fault. And it's not my guitar.

Laura: It's not my fault.

Ron: The Asterix and Obelix books, they're a family heirloom. I thought they were Grandma and Grandpa's.

Laura: Are they?

Comedy Bureau is the project I'm working on right now

I thought they were ones Mum had bought you over the years.

Ron: Some of them. But the collection started because I got all of Grandma and Grandpa's Asterix and Oblox books.

Laura: I might get those out and read them. I'm supposed to be reading shadows.

Ron: Oh, now that they. Now that they don't remind you of me, now you're keen to read them.

Laura: Dead weight that I'm harbouring. Oh.

Ron: What are you doing in all of the space where this dead weight is? You don't have things to store?

Laura: I don't like things. Well, it's in, like, the fucking, like.

Ron: Armpit of the roof, isn't it?

Laura: Yeah, that's true. Hey, Ron, we're redecorating the hutch in the next couple of weeks.

Ron: Oh, um, yeah. Now that you've stolen it off Tom, the hutch is on the rise.

Laura: Yeah, well, here's the thing. So, Comedy Bureau. You know, it. It's the project I'm working on.

Ron: Bureau.

Laura: Um, Bureau.

Ron: Bureau is fun to say.

Laura: Yeah. That's why we called it the Comedy Bureau. Um, we've been recording it at, ah, the Commedia in Brighton and, um, obviously have to pay to hire that every time. And I was like, how can I keep costs down? And then I talked to Matthew J. Grant of, uh, Noise Next Door fame, who's been really helpful in helping us with all the technical stuff for it. And, and. And he was like, dude, paint your garage. Put a little bit of soundproofing in there and set it all up. Use that.

Ron: Yeah. Get some Ikea plants and stuff.

Laura: Well, we already have the set, but I just put it all in the car and drive it down to Kameeda every time. I was like, I could just set.

Ron: We could do video episodes of this podcast in there.

Laura: Yeah, we could. And so I'm.

Ron: That's all tax deductible.

Laura: Yeah. I'm buying, um, like a mixing board for podcasts and handheld microphones like bros use on podcasts.

Ron: This is how Will Duggan must have felt when you started this podcast, because the next one's just so much more professional. And this is gonna keep on happening. Uh.

Laura: No, I'm. What I like about it is that they're very different flavours. Like, Lex Ed is my.

Ron: Megathon is helping me learn how to read books again

Let's go let off steam in the roof with Ron, who's eaten loads of eggs. We're eating loads of eggs.

Ron: That's how we let off steam.

Laura: Should you still be doing it? It's been three years. It's got a tiny listenership. Shut up, please. We like it. And that's the whole point.

Ron: Eggs.

Laura: Megathon. Megathon. Um, whereas Comedy Bureau. I'm doing so much research, Ron, and it's really helping me learn to read books again.

Ron: That's nice.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I wish something would teach me how to read books again.

Laura: Do you want some Asterix comics? They might be a good starter.

Ron: No. Uh, it's gonna be a long time till I can read Asterix and Obelix again. But I will tell you about that when we record the Sweden episode.

We're begging you for cash to support our Patreon musings

Laura: Okay, well, we're gonna go off and read a Patreon episode now. What a segue into begging you for cash. This takes up so much of our lives and earns us nothing. And if you love it and you love that it's taking up your life and you don't Already donate, hey, go to patreon.com luxeducation Pay a minimal amount a month. I think you can pay £3 and you can get access to all of our Patreon musings. You can know that you are supporting two people that love you. And, um. You can wish me an early birthday present.

Ron: It is. So long until your birthday.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. How many months is it? What's July? The seventh.

Ron: Class dismissed. This is not fun. Class dismiss.

Laura: Two. Two and a half months. Do you know I'm going to Istanbul for my birthday? Ron?

Ron: Yep. Class dismissed.

Laura: Sam.

00:56:20