Caesium the Daysium

 Laura: Hello, and welcome to episode eight of Lex Education, the podcast where me comedian Laura Lex sorry, an email came in and I got distracted.

Laura: I'm just going to start again.

Ron: You've got a very wet mouth today, Laura.

Laura: Have I?

Ron: It’s really squelching around?

Laura: I just had my lunch. I might be full of saliva. Hang on, let me dry my mouth out. Hello, and welcome to Lex Education, the dry mouth podcast where me wet mouse Laura Lex tries to learn science from.

Ron: Ron normal mouth Ron.

Laura: Now you have to say hello. I'm Ron.

Ron: Hello? I'm normal mouth Ron.

Laura: Do I still sound wet mouthed?

Ron: Go like that.

Laura: No, I'll just hang my mouth out the window for a minute.

Laura: How are you, Ron?

Ron: I'm good.

Ron: It's very humid today.

Laura: Is it?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: No.

Ron: Off to Austria tomorrow.

Laura: That's exciting.

Ron: Yeah, off to Bratteslava tomorrow as well.

Laura: Whereabouts are going in Bratislava.

Ron: Bratislava, okay.

Laura: Is that the city?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Slovakia is the country.

Laura: Yeah, Bratislava is nice.

Laura: I've been there.

Laura: It looks like Chitty Chitty bang bang country.

Laura: I hope you have a lovely time.

Laura: Wait.

Laura: Well, the big chat from last week's episode has been the Maki song.

Laura: We've had some theories as to what the Maki song might be.

Laura: What have we got?

Laura: You could rhyme Mackie like Jackie Wilson says over dessert, but I think it's more likely you've gone with something like she's a lady but singing she's a baby and making woofing noises.

Ron: That one does get my vote for best because it is closest, like time wise, to the actual cover.

Laura: I do sometimes think the elephant parade from Jungle Book to Mackey.

Laura: She's a military hound she's a military hound woof, two, three, four with a woof, too I do sing that one quite a lot, but no, that's not it.

Laura: Catherine, guesses or Mackie.

Laura: Well, you came and you gave without barking and I gave you a toy oh, Mackie it's quite good.

Ron: No bad at all.

Laura: Catherine's other suggestion was you got to speed her up and then you got to slow I don't know the tune well enough to do it because if you believe that a stick can hit the top you gotta play around.

Laura: I don't know the tune well enough there, but a good shout.

Laura: Katherine, do you want to think some.

Ron: Of Carol's ones everywhere you go always take Mackie with you everywhere you go.

Laura: Carol also suggested because she's Mackie clap along, she's the cutest dog in town.

Laura: I liked Scotty's suggestion of the Mackey Rayner.

Ron: That's pretty good.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And Jay also said immediately jumped to Black Dog by Led Zeppelin.

Laura: Even though I know Mackie isn't black.

Laura: Probably because of Shooting Stars, where they used to think he's a baby about Matt Lucas.

Laura: And you can make Mackie's a baby scan quite nicely as a parody of the parody.

Ron: Very close.

Laura: That is actually one of the lyrics in my actual song.

Laura: So I will sing you the Mackie song at the end of this episode, we'll just tease you out a little bit longer.

Ron: I wash my hands a bit.

Ron: It's a terrible idea.

Laura: Also, we put up the first experiment video this week.

Laura: I don't know if you've got a chance to see it, but on YouTube, you can go to YouTube and watch our good video of making cornflower soup or cornflower burgers.

Laura: Basically a liquid that is a solid, so you can pop over and watch that.

Laura: And Matthew wants us to now extend that and do the pudding corn flour on a Lauras our next experiment.

Laura: So we'll add that to the list of experiments that we will get around to doing.

Laura: But for now, we're going to jump into the episode.

Laura: It's chemistry three and we're back at looking at atoms and the periodic table.

Ron: Ron honks, low down dog.

Laura: It sounds like you've got a little motorbike on your lap, but it's a little tiny purring cat.

Ron: But I can't get rid of her.

Laura: No, she's delightful.

Laura: I mean, it'd be OTT to get rid of your cat just for a podcast.

Laura: What are we learning today with chemistry?

Laura: Are we chemistry this week?

Ron: We are chemistry lesson number three.

Laura: Chemistry three.

Laura: We must be near the end now.

Laura: There can't be that much.

Ron: We are in the subject that we like the most.

Ron: Medium amount.

Laura: Is the cat just tying herself up in your headphones?

Ron: Yes, she is.

Ron: She's knocking my headphones into the microphone.

Laura: Does she like being tied up?

Ron: Probably.

Ron: She is a f****** creep.

Laura: Not in a sexy way.

Laura: I suppose they like playing with strings, cats, don't they?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: EW.

Laura: I can't believe you thought about your cat's sexual proclivities.

Ron: She's a creep.

Laura: She is a creep.

Laura: Wow.

Laura: Okay, what was happening last time?

Laura: Oh, is all those isotropes?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: We learned a bit more about atoms and stuff, so today we're going to recap a little bit of stuff, because it just came up in the syllabus again.

Ron: And then we're going to talk about the periodic table, which I think you'll find quite satisfying, because I just got.

Laura: It in front of me, so that'll be easy.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: We were just going to name things that were on it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Last one was all about protons, neutrons, atomic mass, size of atoms.

Ron: Protons.

Laura: Neutrons are good words, aren't they?

Laura: They just sound so sciencey.

Ron: They sound like what they are as well, while not necessarily meaning anything.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Neutrons are neutral, protons are positive, electrons should be called negatrons.

Ron: Well, the antimatter version of an electron is called a positron.

Laura: Well done for science.

Laura: Good naming skills.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Diver back into our structure.

Ron: So the first bit that they want us to know about is basically about how electrons are organised around a nucleus.

Laura: Can you remember organised around a nucleus?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Can you remember anything about this?

Ron: We've touched on this briefly.

Laura: They're in rings and there's something about the smaller the atom, the fewer things fit on the ring?

Laura: Or is it like the closer the ring is to the nucleus, the fewer sadboy electrons fit on the ring?

Laura: The first ring holds two and then the next one holds four.

Ron: Yeah, exactly.

Ron: They come in different.

Ron: The syllabus wants us to talk about them either in shells because they're not really rings, because it's like a 3D arrangement, or energy levels, because there's different energy associated with the different electrons.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: Shells is fun, except it's not really a shell, though, is it?

Laura: Because it's not solid.

Laura: It's just whizzing about.

Ron: It is just whizzing about.

Laura: Force fields.

Laura: Let's call them force fields.

Ron: We'll call them shells we shouldn't be renaming.

Laura: I might start making a list of things I need to write to Aqaslscienceobout to tell them they've got wrong.

Ron: Calling them force.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Because as we proved, Mendeleyev fired all that radar at the gold and it got through.

Laura: And if it was a shell, that wouldn't have happened, would it?

Ron: That was Rutherford.

Ron: We'll be talking about Mendeleev later on.

Laura: He's?

Ron: No, that was mendel.

Laura: Oh, d***.

Ron: Do you know what Mendeleev did?

Laura: No.

Ron: He invented the periodic table.

Ron: So it's so funny that you bring him up.

Ron: Where do you even know that name from?

Laura: I thought he was the pee guy.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: The closer in the ring, I just.

Laura: Have to act on a milk.

Laura: That blanket.

Ron: She always does a little stampede dance before she lies down.

Laura: Like tenderising it.

Laura: Right, okay.

Laura: So in the force fields, you can fit only so many electrons, because when that force field is really near, there's only so much space around the thing and they're charged so they can't get near each other.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: You learn at a level that they are held in specific spaces.

Ron: But we don't need to know about that.

Ron: We just need to know about the shelves.

Laura: Man, I was doing the longest burp, where you were saying proud.

Ron: And they can only lose gainelectrons to from the outermost field.

Ron: Yes, exactly.

Laura: I remember when the party looks good on another isotope electron.

Laura: No.

Laura: Atom, the electrons hop over to listen to that.

Laura: Sweet, sweet Molly.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So the periodic table is then organised in the structure of these electrons.

Ron: Oh, my God.

Ron: This cat needs to set all the f*** down.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: She's into electrons.

Ron: Oh, she's just lying lounging on my desk now.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Sexy cat.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: In the first row, there are only two electrons.

Laura: Hang on.

Laura: Which one is a row?

Laura: A row is across, right?

Laura: Yes.

Laura: I get so confused with that one.

Laura: I'm trying to do anything on Excel.

Laura: Right.

Laura: A row.

Laura: So that's just a crosser and a crosser.

Ron: The first one is only hydrogen and helium.

Ron: Right?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Because there's only two in that one.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: They're the little edges, the little towers on either end.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And then so the next row out is eight electrons can fit on it.

Ron: So there are eight elements in that across her.

Laura: Is that just coincidence?

Laura: No, because no, shut up, Flora.

Laura: I don't say that.

Ron: You mean because the periodic table is organised by these things?

Laura: No, it's just that you said it fits eight electrons and there's eight of them.

Laura: And I was like, oh, that's a coincidence.

Laura: But then I was like, no, it's that one electron is one thing anyway, don't worry.

Laura: But then the next one down, row three, that also has eight things on it.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: So the third energy level shell also can only hold eight.

Laura: So why are they different to the things on row two?

Ron: Because it's still a level out.

Ron: It's just another level that can only hold eight.

Laura: I understand.

Laura: So there's three force fields, but still the outer one holds eight.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: But then the one underneath that yeah.

Laura: That's big now.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: That's got an extra ten.

Laura: Wow, that's a big jump.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Four and five seem to have ten, then six and seven, maybe loads more.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: They will have asterisks to the lanthanides.

Laura: And actinhydes they do, ron yes.

Ron: Which is basically those just represent the extra ones.

Laura: Why aren't they in the table?

Ron: Because they wanted the start and finish of the periodic table to all be in columns together.

Ron: Because the columns also have meaning, and by column, I mean up downers.

Laura: I get that.

Laura: So if you put all these daughters back in, then radon and ogonathan.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Same thing as helium.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: It's in the same way that higher up, there's like a gap in between some of them.

Laura: What are they called?

Laura: Lactose and asteroids.

Laura: They're different in some way.

Laura: Are they?

Laura: What's lactennoid?

Laura: Lanternoid.

Ron: I don't think they have any sort of cohesive properties.

Ron: The lanternids and actinoid should cross those out.

Ron: I might be wrong.

Ron: I was just saying that at a level you learn about the specific shapes that the energy shells are in.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: The lanthanides and actinides, I believe, are the elements that are in one specific shape of this.

Laura: All right, I'm just going to scribble those out on my one because I don't need them.

Ron: Go for it.

Ron: I don't think they'll come up again.

Laura: Goodbye.

Ron: So, as I was saying, the up down also means something.

Ron: We kind of went through this before when we were talking about how many electrons they have in their outer shell.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So every element in up, down or one has one electron in its outer shell.

Ron: Every element in up, down or two has two electrons.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: This gives them similar properties.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: They all live on the same street with the same type of house.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I like it.

Ron: Can you remember, Deduce, why they might react similarly under similar circumstances?

Laura: It's similar parties, similar numbers of sad boys at the parties.

Laura: So they're the same amount of likely to lose or gain a sad boy.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Let's take a look at group one.

Laura: Group, we've got Manchester United versus Liverpool man you're f****** cat.

Ron: Yeah, she's losing.

Laura: All I can see right now is just whiskers off screen.

Laura: I love it when my pet isn't the one destroying a recording because it's so often my dog.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: At least she's quiet, though.

Ron: Apart from running around knocking things over.

Laura: And purring and yowling.

Laura: Does she ever do that, like cat noise?

Ron: Not like that much of an extended yow, but sometimes when she's having the zoomies, she'll go like, wow.

Laura: She looked at you like you were a piece of s*** when you did that.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: She's angry because she hasn't been fed yet.

Laura: She gets fed like every 20 minutes.

Ron: She gets fed three times a day?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: That's how much you think she gets fed.

Laura: Judith feeds her every time she looks a little bit stuck.

Ron: Yeah, but Judith isn't around so much anymore.

Laura: Where did you just go?

Laura: She was okay.

Ron: She's in the office.

Laura: It's not like she's part time moved out.

Laura: Yeah, Judith isn't around anymore.

Ron: Anyway.

Laura: So they're the same amount of light lead to lose or gain.

Laura: A sad boy.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Up, down a one.

Ron: We call them the alkali metals.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Lithium, sodium, potassium, rubidium, cesium, francium, love them.

Ron: They only have one electron in their.

Laura: Outer shell, likely to lose.

Ron: It super easy for them to lose it.

Laura: That sad boy just wants to go and find some happy place elsewhere.

Ron: But all in the same group.

Ron: So they have similar properties.

Ron: They are soft, shiny metals that can be easily cut with a knife.

Laura: Hydrogen is not a metal.

Ron: It's not one of the alkali metals.

Laura: Oh, no, you're right.

Laura: It's in its own little blue colour.

Laura: That means nothing.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Mine are in colour code.

Laura: So my alkaline metals are in green.

Laura: I understand.

Laura: And then next to them, in a slightly different green, I've got the alkaline earth metals.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: That's your verillium.

Laura: Verillium, magnesium, calcium, strontium, barium, Meridium.

Laura: Scandium and I went on too far then.

Laura: Scandium and yutrium are liner.

Laura: Hands hatefuls transition metals.

Ron: Most of them are transition metals, I think.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: So they are soft triangy metals can be easily cut with a knife.

Ron: And they are so reactive that unless.

Laura: The knife was made with a different one of these metals and then you're just mushing metal putty together.

Ron: Well, it depends the higher up you are.

Ron: So lithium is a little bit harder than sodium, which is a little bit harder than potassium.

Ron: And then when you get down to cesium, is it metal?

Laura: Yes, it's a potato full of potassium.

Ron: That's bananas.

Laura: In a banana.

Ron: You're full of metal, mate.

Laura: What?

Ron: There's iron in your blood, but not metal.

Laura: Iron like a different blood.

Laura: Iron?

Ron: Yeah, metal.

Ron: Iron.

Laura: Metal, yes, but none other made of metal.

Ron: They have metal in them.

Ron: All of your cells have metal in them.

Ron: Most elements are metals.

Laura: This is crazy.

Ron: Like, you know, sodium, chloride, salt.

Ron: Sodium is a metal.

Laura: Is it?

Ron: Yeah, it's an alkali metal we were talking about it named moments ago.

Laura: God, the world is messy in it when you start thinking about it.

Ron: It's actually quite neat and tidy when you f****** swamp for a brain like you.

Laura: I don't think it's kind to say I have a swamp for a brain.

Laura: I kind of think things can be metals if they're bananas.

Laura: That doesn't feel right, I'll give you that.

Ron: Most of the banana is not metal, but it has a lot of metal.

Laura: In it that's soft that you eat in a banana.

Laura: You can't feel it?

Ron: No.

Ron: Well, it's potassium ions mainly.

Ron: There's not going to be just like, little nuggets of metal in there.

Ron: It's potassium in ion form and used in different compounds and stuff within it.

Laura: I can hear an ice cream van.

Laura: Who's annoying you more, me or the cat?

Laura: Today?

Ron: The cat asked to come in, and that's just running in circles around me.

Laura: Yeah, but to be fair, I asked you to do this podcast with me, and now it's horrible.

Laura: Okay, so everything is metal and full of holes and pushing me.

Laura: You can see how this podcast is freaking me out in general, can't you?

Laura: I'm like, hey, what's the banana?

Laura: It's the fruit.

Laura: It's soft and squishy.

Laura: It's metal.

Laura: And if you stand on a banana, the metal banana is pushing you up into the air.

Ron: And none of it matters anyway because 99.9% of it is all empty space.

Laura: Exactly.

Laura: Everything's vibrating.

Laura: Jesus.

Laura: I think people should just if people knew this, they'd just be wandering around throwing up everywhere out of sheer price.

Ron: We are doing a GCSE syllabus.

Laura: The average person isn't sat there thinking, this is a metal banana full of holes.

Ron: Yeah, swamp brain.

Laura: They're not.

Ron: They are so reactive.

Laura: Wow, hang on.

Ron: They're alkali metals.

Laura: Back to the metals.

Laura: Beryllium magnesium.

Laura: Oh, I remember magnesium.

Laura: Yeah, you can, like, set it on fire just in air, can't you?

Laura: It like flares and burns real bright, I think.

Ron: Yes, but we are talking about the alkaline metals, not the alkaline earth metals.

Laura: Oh, sorry, back again.

Laura: Lithium, sodium, bananas, rubidium, caesium, and frantium.

Laura: Okay, yes.

Ron: They are very reactive.

Ron: So when you cut, you lithium when.

Laura: You were crazy in the past sorry, Ron, I will stop in a minute.

Laura: But was it lithium, like a drug.

Ron: For yeah, it's like a mood suppressing.

Ron: I think there's a Nirvana song called Lithium.

Laura: Would that have just been some metal?

Ron: No, probably would have been an ion form, I guess, like salt.

Laura: Okay, so these guys, they're super reactive.

Laura: They're like droppy wild boys.

Laura: They're the wild boys of the periodic table.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: So when you cut stop shiny metal with a knife.

Ron: They're so reactive that they quickly, like, grey up and go mad in the air because they oxidise.

Ron: And when you have them in metal form, you have to keep them stored in mineral oil so that the air never touches them.

Laura: All right.

Ron: What do you think happens to their reactivity as you head down the group?

Laura: Gets stronger, gets more intense.

Ron: Can you have it a guess as to why.

Laura: Just bigger.

Ron: Tricks of it?

Laura: Because even though it's got one Saboy in its out of force field, there's loads of other saboys underneath it.

Laura: And in order to have loads of sad boys, it's got to have an equal number of happy boys, so it's just a bigger thing.

Laura: So it's got more charge, hasn't it?

Laura: Because it's got more magnets.

Ron: Sounds like Nadine Dorian.

Ron: Talk about Channel four.

Laura: I reckon I could run for Minister of Science in the current cabinet at the moment.

Ron: It's a bit simpler than that, to be honest.

Laura: No one said kind of to Nadine Doris.

Laura: Everybody just went, no.

Ron: Yeah, it's a bit simpler than that.

Ron: If you think about it, the positive force of the nucleus is what's keeping the negative sad boys in the shells, right?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: So if the furthest out one is further away from said positive force, it's going to be a bit weaker.

Ron: So it's easier for it to shed.

Laura: That they can't hear the music very well.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: So they're going to leave.

Ron: They're going to go find another party where they can hear the music a.

Laura: Bit better, but they won't be able to, probably.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Well, what if a Francium met another Francium?

Laura: The music would be just as far away.

Ron: Another Francium?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: But say a chloride comes along and then they've just got one empty seat at the table and they're about to play a huge game of catan, and they just need one more person.

Ron: That sad boy can slot right in there.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: Where's chloride?

Ron: Chlorine will be in group seven.

Laura: It's not on mine.

Ron: Yes, it is.

Laura: It's over there.

Laura: Group 17.

Ron: Oh.

Ron: Sometimes they call it that.

Laura: Would a Francis and a Francium react to each other?

Laura: No, it's one of those crazy Belgian.

Laura: They have ghost ambulances spooky.

Laura: I love it.

Ron: The first time I heard one of those was on Halloween.

Laura: There they go after collect.

Laura: Judith.

Ron: No.

Ron: So Francis and a Francis, if they were together, they would just be a block of Francisum metal.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: We will talk about different bonds between atoms, including how metals are formed later on.

Laura: So I studied all this at school.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: God.

Laura: Just goes to show, even the students that get good grades, it doesn't help.

Ron: No, really, it doesn't.

Ron: Cesium is the most reactive metal there is.

Ron: Don't ask for any follow ups because I just read that off Wikipedia.

Laura: Even though front seam is lower than it.

Ron: Yeah, I didn't really get that, but I thought I'd throw it in there in case it's true.

Laura: Fair.

Laura: I love it.

Laura: Let's just start saying things just in case they're true.

Laura: Eccesium is also very delicious without anchovies and croutons cesium saladum.

Ron: It's best friend, Mark Antonium.

Laura: Nice.

Laura: What did the police do them when he discovered the stolen goodsums.

Ron: Which element has to be removed from a woman by cutting her tummy open?

Laura: A cesareum.

Ron: A cesium section.

Laura: Oh, love it.

Laura: Ron yes.

Laura: What do you call a one eyed dinosaur?

Laura: Atom.

Laura: Do you think he sees him.

Ron: Cesium the day.

Laura: We need to stop now because people are turning the podcast off.

Laura: It's horrible.

Laura: Everybody's got tummy ache.

Ron: What you do probably remember hang on.

Laura: No, Laura, just stop.

Laura: You got to say it now.

Laura: What atoms do you most find?

Laura: Pirates on the seven seasium.

Laura: Okay, I'm done.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Let's leave a second so we can cut all that out.

Ron: What you might remember from your science classes is putting the alkali metals into water.

Laura: To be honest, I went to Bishop Foxes.

Laura: I'm not sure they let us touch anything.

Ron: No, they probably would have done it at the front of the class.

Ron: But basically, it's the most illustrative of how the reactivity goes up, because if you throw lithium in the water, it kind of starts farting and then it bubbles about on the surface a bit.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: But then if you throw a hunk of sodium into the water, it will start zipping about the surface of the water and bumping into the sides and stuff.

Ron: If you throw potassium into some water, it literally catches fire and starts jumping around.

Ron: And then you get to cesium.

Ron: If you throw that into some water, it literally just explodes.

Laura: Do they use it in bombs and stuff?

Ron: No.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: They get more reactive as they go down.

Laura: And that's true of the whole periodic table or just these funky metals?

Ron: I'm going to say something, but I'm also going to Google it while I double cheque.

Ron: What I think is true is that stuff on the left is more reactive as you go down and stuff on the right is less reactive.

Ron: Oh, yes.

Ron: So, for example, if we take group seven, which is the halogens manganese taskam no, group 17 is actually a lot of people like I was a joke.

Ron: Most people do call that group seven fluorine.

Laura: Fluorine, bromine, idine, astatine and tenniscene.

Laura: Yes, but tennis is a noble gas.

Ron: Then it shouldn't be in that group.

Laura: It's in the same up and downy.

Ron: No, it's not.

Laura: What do you mean, it's not?

Ron: Well, it's not in the same UPP downey as the noble gases.

Laura: No, but it's in the noble gas colour.

Ron: Show me again.

Laura: Oh, no, it's a different colour.

Laura: Why is that one in its own colour?

Laura: Why is that guy in its own colour?

Ron: Ron I don't know.

Ron: What does the colour mean?

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: Because bromine is also written oh, bromine is a liquid.

Laura: I don't know what that colour means.

Laura: That colour is not on the table of information.

Laura: F****** ow.

Laura: That's confusing.

Ron: It might be that that element is either theoretical or they've only produced it a handful of atoms of it once, or something like that.

Laura: Tennessee it does sound like it was discovered in Tennessee, doesn't it?

Ron: A little bit, yes.

Ron: Anyway, as you go down that group, they get less reactive, because if you think about it, they react with stuff by luring insatio.

Laura: It's a synthetic chemical.

Ron: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

Laura: Sorry, what were you saying?

Laura: I wasn't listening.

Laura: I was googling.

Ron: So if you think about it, they react with stuff by taking in sad boys, not by losing them.

Ron: So the further away you are from.

Laura: The positiveness, the less you've got to pull stuff.

Laura: Yeah, okay.

Ron: Yeah, it makes kind of sense, right?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I thought you'd like this lesson.

Ron: It's a bit like plain Sigrada or something.

Ron: You just got to get them all in the right order.

Laura: So these guys hanging out in the middle, like your cobalt, your rhodium, they're just boring, really.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Those are the transition metals.

Ron: They're all fairly seamy, as far as I know.

Laura: Yeah, all right.

Ron: But then you've got some absolute classics in there, too.

Ron: You got your iron, your silver, your platinum, your gold, your copper, nickel, bit of nickel.

Laura: You've got row and genium, which we don't know if it's a solid, a gas or a liquid.

Laura: Rutherfordium.

Laura: Oh, like Rutherford.

Ron: Yeah, probably named after him.

Laura: Mandalayev's brother.

Ron: Well, now we're just saying lies.

Laura: I thought I'd say it and just see if it's true.

Ron: Cool.

Ron: Right, so the next bit that we are going to cover is the development of the periodic table.

Laura: Need a ruler, a pencil?

Ron: What?

Laura: That's how you'd go about developing it, wouldn't you?

Ron: Well, that's not what Mendeley did before the discovery of protons and neutrons and electrons.

Ron: Like, before we knew what was inside atoms, they just tried to classify them by putting them in order of their.

Laura: Weights, but it's impossible to weigh them, so that was hard.

Ron: No, that's not true.

Ron: They measured them, they weighed them, and then they tried to do this into an early periodic table.

Ron: They were incomplete because they haven't actually discovered all of the elements at this point.

Ron: And there was one guy that kind of clocked onto the 8th thing.

Ron: There was a guy that was like, oh, yeah, there's a rule of eight for those two rows.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: What are you talking about?

Laura: What?

Ron: You know how there's eight in two of the rows?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: There was one guy what do you.

Laura: Mean, clocked on that?

Laura: There was a rule of eight.

Laura: Like they made the same or something?

Ron: Well, people were realising about the groups.

Laura: How?

Ron: Because they will be similar properties.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Laura: So when they were like, instead of putting them in weight, they were lumping them in.

Laura: Hey, these guys do this.

Laura: And then they noticed that there were.

Ron: Eight groups kind of the other way around, so they were putting them all in weight order and then they were realising that, oh, every 8th one explodes when I put here in water and stuff.

Laura: Yeah, okay.

Ron: However, that didn't quite work for several reasons.

Ron: A, it only goes for the first two rows, and then this is way more than eight.

Ron: And B, as I say, they haven't actually discovered all of the elements yet.

Ron: And C, so I just have to go let the cat back out of the room.

Laura: We'll never know what C is.

Ron: Shoot.

Laura: Do you know what you should have said to the cat?

Laura: Which is meowing, then?

Laura: Cesium and Desystium jokes are so much better than science.

Ron: Science jokes.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And then number three, not all of the atoms are in weight order.

Laura: Because of neutrons.

Ron: Because of neutrons, exactly.

Ron: Dimitri Mendeliff, he invented what we know as the modern periodic table.

Ron: He was born in Siberia in the 1830s.

Ron: I've just written next to that and my notes bleak.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: In 1863, there were 56 known elements with a new element being discovered at a rate of approximately one a year.

Laura: That's not bad going.

Ron: No.

Ron: Mendeley became a teacher in 1867.

Ron: He was writing that's about right, isn't it?

Laura: 37.

Laura: You started to give up on your dreams.

Laura: So you think, I'll get a steady job as a teacher.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And then he was like, God, life's bleak, I'm going to write a book.

Ron: So he started writing The Principles of Chemistry, which became the definitive textbook at the time.

Laura: Smart.

Laura: Get all those kids to have to buy your book.

Laura: Double income.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And then because there was f*** all else to do in Siberia, in the he went to bed one night what, he had a dream?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: And he said, I saw in a dream a table where all elements fell into place as required.

Ron: Awakening.

Ron: I immediately wrote it down on a piece of paper.

Ron: Only in one place did a correction later seem necessary.

Laura: That's clever.

Laura: He'd obviously been stewing on it and then had the idea when he was asleep.

Laura: I don't believe like, an angel gave him the idea.

Ron: No.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: It's probably something to do with REM cycles, clocking everything into place.

Ron: However, he is making quite a large deal of this, because when I was doing a bit of extra research on Wikipedia, to flesh it out, rather than just reading the syllabus, he only put nine of them.

Laura: That's one bloody roommate.

Laura: What are you doing?

Ron: Three by three grid.

Ron: So you kind of made three up downers of three.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Fair.

Laura: Hey, the current periodic table, do you only put something in it when you've discovered it?

Laura: Or did we just make boxes for all of the amounts of electrons, like all the possibilities, and then go looking for those atoms for something?

Ron: Well, that's one of the things that Mendeleev did that set him apart from the previous periodic tables, is that he actively left gaps for things that he predicted would happen and he predicted what those elements would be like and was basically correct.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay, that makes sense.

Laura: So once you know that it's.

Laura: Following.

Laura: Keep adding one and then add a ring.

Laura: You can sort of predict how many spaces you're going to need.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So I think I can't remember exactly which.

Ron: There are three elements that Mendelee just predicted that we hadn't discovered yet.

Laura: Is that one named after him?

Laura: There should be.

Ron: I think Mendelive is one.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Mendelive.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Where's he hanging out?

Ron: I think it's one of the later ones.

Laura: I'm going to have a look for Mendelivia.

Laura: Bear with me.

Laura: Dream of California.

Laura: Oh, polonium.

Laura: That's the poison one.

Ron: Radioactive?

Laura: Yeah, radioactive.

Laura: I can't find mentalivia.

Laura: Oh, it's one of these bad boys.

Laura: It's an adenoid.

Ron: Nice.

Laura: 101.

Laura: All right, I'm happy now.

Laura: I found it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And then so he had his little grid of nine of them and then he just kept slapping them into that and eventually came up with the modern periodic table.

Ron: And I was doing some more reading on it and there was lots of petty scientists drama about it, because six months later, a dude in Germany also had the same idea.

Ron: It was like something like 30 years later, he was nominated, he was put forward to the board of the Nobel Prize.

Ron: And then one dude was just like, no, that was ages ago, we can't give him the Nobel Prize.

Ron: And then it turned out that he just vetoed it because mental airfare s*** all over some theory that he done at some point.

Laura: Scientist drama.

Laura: I love it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And then that's where we get to today.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: I felt like I kept my head above water there.

Ron: I thought you'd like that one.

Laura: There was nothing stupid.

Laura: I think that's when science is best is when there's no stupid made up stuff.

Ron: Define stupid made up stuff.

Laura: Like, I'm still not over this idea that the ground is pushing me away.

Laura: And I realised we've got physics again next week already, somehow.

Laura: And I'm already annoyed at what bullshit you're going to come out with.

Laura: Exactly.

Laura: So this I liked this.

Laura: This was tidy.

Laura: It made sense.

Laura: I feel like I want to be friends with some of these little guys.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: All right.

Laura: Good work.

Laura: Let's go away for a bit and come back in time for the quiz.

Laura: Ronnie Hanks, it's one week letter.

Laura: I had a look at my notes this morning to prep for the quiz.

Laura: My notes consist of chemistry three in a really nicely drawn box.

Ron: Lovely.

Laura: And then underneath I've written atom structure.

Laura: And then next to that, I've drawn a helium atom.

Ron: You're just showing me how to structure move other way.

Laura: Is that a helium?

Ron: Yes.

Laura: And that is the extent of the notes that I took in the last episode.

Laura: So either it went in so well that I needn't have written a thing down, or could God help me on this quiz?

Ron: I think you're going to get away with this.

Ron: I think I've been quite lenient in.

Laura: This quiz because I'm very tired.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: It is pre noon every day this week.

Laura: I've had to get up and record by, like, 09:00 A.m., and it's killing me.

Laura: And I know that that sounds super lazy because everybody else starts work at 09:00 A.m., but I didn't get home from work until midnight last night, so I've burned my candle at both ends, and now my little candle has got a sore bottom and a sore head.

Laura: So how many points are available in this quiz for people who like to play along at home?

Ron: I think five.

Laura: He thinks five.

Laura: Five is what we're going with for now.

Laura: Okay, let's go.

Laura: Question one.

Ron: How many electron shells does sodium have?

Laura: Sodium.

Laura: Okay, so I need to look at my little book.

Laura: Sodium N A.

Laura: It's in row.

Laura: Is that a row and a cross heat?

Laura: Yes, it's in row three.

Laura: It's got eleven electrons.

Laura: So three it would have is three.

Laura: Two in the first one, eight in the second one, and then one sticking out on its own.

Ron: All correct.

Ron: No extra points for that, but well done.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: Look at me learning one point.

Ron: True or false, chlorine is more reactive than chlorine.

Laura: Okay?

Laura: So again, I need to look at my little periodic table.

Laura: I'm learning to love my periodic table, actually.

Laura: Excuse me.

Laura: Chlorine is over here in column 17, often called seven, and it's near the top.

Laura: And where's fluorine?

Laura: Above it.

Laura: What was the question?

Ron: True or false?

Ron: Chlorine is more reactive than fluorine.

Laura: Now, chlorine is below fluorine.

Ron: And fluorine is above fluorine.

Ron: They rhyme.

Laura: It's the question.

Laura: I put it to you, sir, that channel four needs privatising.

Laura: Now, if chlorine was below chlorine on the left hand side of the periodic table, I would say, yes, it was more reactive, but because it's on the right hand side no, I think fluorine is more reactive.

Ron: Correct.

Ron: That was false.

Ron: My next question, and you've touched on it a little bit there is.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Because the guys on the left hand side have sad boys wanting to leave their parties, and the guys on the right hand side have parties that will attract sad boys.

Laura: And the further out the last space at the party is from the nucleus.

Laura: The quieter to the music, the less the sad boys want to come to the party.

Laura: Whereas on the other side you didn't ask about that.

Laura: Don't try and explain it.

Laura: But that is that isn't it?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Can you, like, philtre out a modicum of nonsense so that you're not talking about music?

Laura: Is it magnet?

Laura: It's like magnet, isn't it?

Laura: Or charge?

Laura: It's charge.

Laura: It's like electrical charge.

Laura: And it's because the polyboys, the electrons and protons that's it.

Laura: The protons are in the nucleus, which is in the middle.

Laura: So they're the ones with the positive charge, trying to get a sad boy to come in.

Laura: So if they're quite far away from the gap because of all the force fields, then the charge is less strong.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: It's further away, so it's harder to attract something in.

Laura: I really feel like I understand this, Ron.

Ron: No, that was really good.

Ron: You didn't need to take any notes.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: So you're three for three so far.

Ron: Question number four, what happens when you throw potassium into water?

Laura: The banana gets wet.

Ron: Is that your fatal answer?

Laura: I can't remember that.

Laura: It was something like it either scoots about or it goes on fire.

Laura: Is it?

Laura: Do you like farty bubbles?

Ron: Potassium is like, midway down the alkali metals, so it does do farty bubbles, but it just kind of catches fire and burns up.

Laura: Come on, then.

Laura: I said fire and farty bubbles.

Ron: Yeah, but you did kind of ask me.

Laura: When I do my test, even if I put a question mark at the end of my answer, they still have to mark my answer, right?

Laura: They can't go, I just put a question mark.

Laura: She doesn't get the point.

Ron: When I say it does party bubbles.

Ron: There's more.

Ron: Just the fact it does produce hydrogen gas.

Ron: It doesn't bitble about on the surface like lithium does.

Laura: It makes hydrogen.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Don't worry about that.

Ron: Don't worry about that.

Ron: That's just the chemical reaction that's going on.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I'm giving you half a mark for that.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Three and a half and final question.

Ron: How did Mendelev come up with his version of the periodic table?

Laura: In a dream.

Ron: Yes, he did.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: For a bonus point, do you want to tell me something he did differently to people that had tried before?

Laura: Yes, I remember this.

Laura: He left gaps for things that he thought would probably exist.

Laura: He only started out with nine elements in his table, and then he left gaps going like that seems logical.

Laura: And he was right about, like, three elements or something.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Nice.

Ron: Very good.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: A bonus point for you.

Ron: So five and a half out of five.

Laura: Oh, I crushed.

Laura: That a star.

Laura: Lord.

Ron: I didn't need any notes.

Laura: Ron, how good was I there on that quiz?

Ron: Very good.

Ron: You didn't need any notes, which was bucky.

Ron: But I think that episode especially, just like that kind of stuff makes sense.

Ron: It's like a nice little puzzle.

Ron: Things fit in, they slide into place.

Ron: I'm keen to see how that affects the stats that Carol has done for you.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So Carol the gem that Carol has put together a little table of the quiz scores.

Laura: She's tallying them up and seeing how we went.

Laura: The shock of the week has to be that statistically, I've so far scored 53.4% on biology quizzes, 62.9% on chemistry, and a whopping 85% on physics.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I guess at point I'm a physician at point of statistical collection.

Ron: One of the physics quizzes you done had two marks.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And I got 50% of them.

Laura: Yeah, well, still but what's that, like a 95%?

Laura: I just got there in chemistry.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Not bad.

Laura: No, four and a half out of 590 percent.

Laura: So that's going to be a big improvement there.

Laura: I'm very happy.

Laura: Thank you very much, Carol, for doing that and for sending it to us.

Laura: Ron, are you ready to see it?

Ron: I'm not seeing it.

Ron: I wash my hands of it.

Ron: It should at least be behind a paywall, as far as I'm concerned.

Laura: We don't have a paywall.

Laura: We're just out for the people.

Ron: 30 quid a month on patreon.

Ron: You get to hear the Macky song once a month.

Laura: But the thing is, once I sat in the Mackay song, people that have never met this dog will have this song stuck in their head.

Laura: Now I'm nervous about singing it.

Ron: Yes, it's mental.

Laura: So the tune is Buddy Holly, isn't it?

Laura: Yes.

Laura: And it goes did you hear my tummy?

Ron: Your tummy?

Laura: Yeah, it's insane noises there's.

Laura: My stomach going do not sing this songwoman.

Laura: Okay?

Laura: This is the Mackey song.

Laura: Mackie is a baby lots of babies sewn into a dog shape mackey is the greatest song in town oh, no dog in town that's not even right, actually.

Laura: So there we go.

Laura: There's your Mackey song.

Laura: Mackey is Mackey is baby lots of babies sewn into a dog shape best as little Mackey.

Laura: A question of the week.

Laura: Have you ever invented anything in a dream?

Laura: Let us know on the social media.

Laura: Lex.

Laura: Education everywhere.

Laura: You get your social media.

Ron: Some questions.

Ron: Have you ever invented anything unlike Laura?

Laura: Excuse me.

Laura: I have invented something.

Laura: Oh, you're such a d*** about this.

Laura: I can't believe he just brought this up.

Laura: That is not in the notes for things to bring up.

Laura: I invented an Apple sawer, and Ron refuses to acknowledge that had I been born in a time before computers, I would have been an inventor.

Laura: Have you ever such a little p**** worm.

Laura: Well, that's a sour end to the episode.

Laura: What was actually a lovely episode as well.

Ron: Yeah, one of our nicer ones.

Laura: Well and you've ruined it, you little s***.

Laura: Let us know if you've ever invented anything consciously or subconsciously and we'll see you next week for physics.

Laura: Boo.

Ron: Cross.

Laura: Dismissed.

Laura: Why are you so sad about your taglines now?

Ron: I said it.

Laura: Such a little ween.

Laura: You've been like this since you were born.

Laura: Like, I'm so cute.

Laura: And then we'd want you to be cute.

Laura: You're like, it won't be cute anymore.