Classic TV Hag (The Moles Redo Special)

Laura: Okay, you say something.

Ron: Helloooo.

Laura: Brilliant. Hello and welcome to The… I nearly said the National Treasures podcast. And I've been doing a lot of national Treasures this week.There's a bird on my bird feeder. What is it?

Ron: Welcome to Lexx Education.

Laura: That's it.

Laura: That's where we are.

Laura: Hello and welcome.

Ron: No, we're leaving that in.

Laura: What are we leaving in?

Ron: Little affair?

Laura: Nothing.

Laura: That was garbage.

Laura: This episode is already like little plaque to our ineptitude without going back after Christmas.

Laura: Trailing back in, having lost a glove.

Laura: On my way.

Ron: We're full of figgie pudding.

Ron: We're a bit hungover and fat and get back into it.

Laura: Okay, well, good evening and welcome to Lex Education, the comedy Stylish, where comedian Me Lex, and you could be listening to it any time.

Laura: Remains forces with her brother Ross.

Ron: Remains force.

Laura: What is it?

Laura: Tries to learn science.

Ron: Joins forces.

Laura: Joins forces.

Laura: Yeah, I think that's what I was going for.

Ron: To be fair, we did do that six months ago.

Ron: You have remaining forces.

Laura: Yeah, I was right.

Laura: Remains forces.

Laura: Thank you very much.

Laura: Mocking me.

Laura: I'm trying to learn science from my undermining brother Ron.

Laura: This is a shambles, even by our standards.

Laura: So, listeners, we have a confession to make.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Who has a confession to make on Magpie?

Laura: I love Magpies.

Laura: The Magpie doesn't have a confession to make.

Laura: But it just landed in my garden.

Ron: Magpies famously have a lot of confessions to make of all of the birds.

Ron: They're the ones that have the things to apologise for.

Laura: That's true.

Laura: They're little thieves, aren't they?

Laura: But we stole their land, so hey, have a shiny piece of tinfoil.

Laura: No, listen.

Laura: So you're listening to this.

Laura: It's the first week back.

Laura: What is it, the 3 January?

Laura: Something along those lines.

Laura: And the world is slowly thawing out and returning to normal.

Laura: We are recording this on the 16 December.

Laura: It should have been edited and sitting pretty in the little firing cannon that pegs these podcasts out to your ears.

Laura: But somebody called Laura Goofed.

Laura: And instead of recording my audio, and then in a separate channel, Ron's audio, I just recorded my audio twice for this lesson.

Laura: So when poor little Ronnie Honk sat down to edit it, there was just me, just the answers, none of the questions.

Ron: Yeah, I leave for Mexico in days.

Ron: This is not good timing.

Laura: So we've had a little chat about what to do.

Laura: Did we just release my audio only?

Laura: And you guess what the subject of.

Ron: The lesson was that'll go out on the patreon.

Laura: Do we release my audio?

Laura: But with Ron desperately trying to fill in all the blank gaps with what he assumes, he sighed and said back.

Ron: Wearily in reply, a higher tier on.

Laura: The patreon, or do we do what we're doing?

Laura: And that is to reset the exam?

Laura: We are redoing the lesson.

Laura: Now, in the spirit of fairness, I have completely forgotten everything that we did.

Laura: So that we can start this from a blank to me.

Laura: I did that on purpose.

Laura: I've left my notebook upstairs so that the notes can't jog my memory.

Laura: The recording for the quiz, though, was fine.

Laura: So I think we'll just leave that quiz as it was.

Laura: Ron's giving me eyebrows.

Laura: About that.

Ron: Just thinking maybe we'll do it again, side by side, like a match playback.

Laura: Let's see if I don't know the exact same things.

Laura: Oh, Ron.

Laura: I mean, maybe we're just going to have one of those really nice lessons.

Laura: You know, the ones where nothing's stupid and annoying and we just chat.

Laura: Nice stuff.

Ron: I think what it will probably be is it will even out to be quite a standard lesson, because I think we were both pretty Cantanks last time.

Laura: Yeah, probably so.

Laura: Listen, we're sorry we haven't done social chat for a couple of weeks, but we pre recorded a lot of intros and outros pre Christmas so that we could have a little break, because Ronnie Honks is in Old Mexico and I'm off for Christmas.

Laura: So we will be back on whatever nonsense we've been tweeting you about.

Laura: But if you miss interacting with us, we're on Instagram, TikTok, facebook.

Laura: Twitter.

Laura: Maybe not Twitter, though.

Laura: By the time this goes out.

Laura: What a stinking rock fest that is.

Laura: Ron, it really timed itself with you getting involved in Twitter.

Ron: It was instant after I started posting in earnest.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What a f****** dweeb.

Laura: Honestly, don't get our podcast cancelled.

Ron: F*** them.

Ron: Honestly, what a little snotnose nerd.

Ron: It's really funny.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: It makes me want to get him into some really good therapy, you know?

Ron: Makes me want to, like, give him some rubber bedsheets because that man wets the bed one absolute I don't know.

Laura: If he even wets the bed.

Laura: I reckon he's probably got some staff that have to make a little bed, like on all fours underneath him and then he just willfully p***** on them.

Ron: Now.

Ron: I reckon he's got a stinking little nest where you could snap the blanket.

Laura: Anyway.

Laura: Happy New Year, everyone.

Laura: Your new Year wasn't pissy blank.

Ron: Stop wrapping up.

Ron: We're just straight in.

Ron: No, but I know there's no division.

Ron: We're straight into contract.

Laura: What I'm mainly doing is putting off the lesson starting, because this is just going to be and it's chemistry, isn't it?

Laura: So it's going to be one of those s***.

Laura: Do a load of numbers, put them all over there.

Laura: Oh, God.

Ron: If you want, instead, we could read through my DND monster manual that I have next to me.

Laura: Did you just get a new book, by any chance?

Ron: No, I've had this for some time.

Ron: I'm a forever DM I'm the one that's always DM and other people do do it sometimes, but it always comes back to me afterwards.

Laura: I like that.

Ron: I love it.

Ron: Yeah, because I'm good at it.

Laura: I'm just so bad at DMing.

Ron: But I'm just waiting for the group to buy me a nice book or something.

Ron: I bought them dice once.

Ron: Bought them all dice for a campaign.

Laura: Maybe you could run a monthly DND session as a patreon offering, Ron, but.

Ron: With patrons, with the lab rats.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: You have very low expectations of who's going to pay for this.

Laura: What do you mean?

Ron: Expecting like, five people?

Laura: You could do one with loads of people, couldn't you?

Ron: No.

Laura: All right, then.

Laura: Well, then, throw that idea in the bin.

Laura: Fine.

Laura: Just poopoo everything.

Laura: Let's do the lesson.

Laura: Blum.

Ron: I'm going to move to my quiet chair for the lesson.

Laura: Why don't you do it before we start recording?

Laura: You're such a little goblin.

Laura: God, I'm in a bad mood today.

Laura: Yeah, take your headphones out, get your s*** chair and put it over there.

Laura: Where's the f****** cat?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, here comes the other chair.

Laura: It was in the room the whole time.

Laura: He could have done this.

Laura: He wastes my time.

Laura: He thinks because I don't have a day job that my time isn't important.

Laura: Well, do you know what, buddy?

Laura: In about 2 hours, I'm going to get on the road and drive to Essex and do some comedy for some people that largely don't give a s*** that I'm there.

Ron: You took about Christmas or something?

Laura: Yeah, I was just saying you waste my time.

Laura: But then I realised that most of my life is people wasting my time.

Laura: My gig last night was hilarious.

Laura: I got there and I've been booked to do 15 minutes at these, like, Christmas dinner event.

Ron: Things looked boujee.

Laura: It was so like there was like a man on a piano really high up in the air and Christmas lights everywhere, and I got booked for it and they said, oh, it's just 15 minutes after dinner.

Laura: Once the pianist finishes, you do 15 minutes of comedy.

Laura: I said that sounds fine.

Laura: And then when I got there, the guy said, oh, just do five to ten, just keep it snappy.

Laura: And I said, oh, five?

Laura: All right, fine.

Laura: And then he said, oh, but if after two minutes, 30 seconds you're not feeling it, just come off, we'll pay you anyway.

Laura: No one really likes the comedy at these things anyway.

Laura: I say it's this money laundering.

Laura: What do you mean?

Laura: I can't just come off after two minutes and you just go, oh, well, we tried.

Laura: Why are you putting comedy on if you don't want it to be playable?

Laura: It was mad.

Ron: Did you see it?

Laura: And I smashed it.

Ron: Crying comedians in the green room or something.

Laura: I've chatted to a few people that have done it because they've been running these dinners all month.

Laura: So I've chatted to quite a few of the guys that have done it and they were all just like, yeah, if you get the front three tables to look at, you take that as a win and then just pocket the money and go home.

Laura: I knew what I was turning up to, but it makes me wonder why they put it on.

Ron: Yeah, it wasn't like Lucy Porter had just been on and bombed.

Ron: Right, Laura, can you remember what today's lesson is on?

Laura: No, not at all.

Laura: I did take a photo of the notes the other day because I got myself in a tangle about what notes I was supposed to put on social media.

Laura: And I did notice that in pencil, it said, I hate Ron on the notes.

Laura: And there was a lot of zeros, which I think might have been us looking at moles or ten to the power somethings.

Laura: And it was like, hey, substitute your zeroes out with this handy Mologan, but I can't remember what a moles for or anything.

Ron: Yeah, so we are doing moles.

Ron: And what you're referring to there, with the ten to the power of that's something, that's called standard form.

Laura: Oh, that rings a bell.

Laura: Like Si units.

Ron: No.

Ron: Okay, again.

Laura: Standard.

Ron: It's si units.

Laura: Si units.

Ron: Si units.

Laura: I oh, si units.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: It stands for Standard International.

Laura: I remembered you saying standard.

Laura: I remembered it.

Laura: You used to have to say it like that.

Laura: Standard.

Laura: But I couldn't remember what the I was for buckalore yet.

Ron: Well, no, because you thought it was an R.

Ron: Standard.

Laura: That's the Scoobydoors in a really bad mood, Ronnie, and I've just been smashing Ferreira Roche to try and cheer myself up.

Ron: How's that going?

Laura: Yes, fine.

Laura: I have my favourite trash lunch today.

Laura: I had corn nuggets just chopped up in noodles covered in soy sauce.

Ron: Oh, I'll tell you a thing.

Ron: Veggie fish fingers.

Ron: Very good.

Ron: I've been eating a sandwich, which I call the brexit, which is fish fingers in a baguette.

Ron: Amazing.

Laura: Well, even if you don't really like fish fingers, are they still good?

Ron: Judith even had some and she liked it.

Laura: All right, maybe you can cook that for me when I come and see you in February.

Laura: By the way, if you are a European listener, do look out for my European dates all across February.

Laura: I'm coming on a little mini tour.

Ron: Do, in a very specific corner of the country of the continent.

Laura: I'm doing six dates.

Laura: That's not bad for a comedian of my non fame.

Ron: No.

Laura: Is France, the Netherlands and Prague, sweden, Norway and Denmark.

Ron: That's way more than I thought it was, because you only told me about the bits that you wanted to stay here, so I thought it was just.

Laura: Yeah, I don't involve you and you're not needed.

Ron: Ron barely involved me in the planning of this.

Ron: You didn't tell me when you would.

Laura: Come or record your audio.

Ron: Is that why you deleted my audio?

Ron: To cover up the track to where you didn't tell us about these dates?

Laura: I did tell you about the date.

Laura: It's in the WhatsApp?

Laura: It is in the WhatsApp?

Laura: Web in miscalabelopossy.

Laura: It is in there, yeah, from like.

Ron: A little while back anyway.

Laura: Oh, sorry.

Laura: Do I have to remind you every day when we've got plans?

Ron: No, it's in, like, from where this resurface.

Ron: But let's move on.

Ron: We barely started.

Laura: That's fine.

Laura: There's no pressure today because we've already done the quiz.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I also haven't looked back into this, so it's lazy on both accounts.

Laura: So Laura lazy from me.

Laura: It's churlishness.

Laura: Just for the listener, I want you to know I'm using a philtre that gives me a massive Santa bit while we record this.

Laura: And it's a lot of fun.

Laura: I'm really enjoying my Santa bit.

Laura: It's fuzzing out all the background and just making me a massive Santa face.

Ron: Maybe I'll tweet that out today.

Laura: What did you do?

Ron: It took a screenshot.

Laura: Okay, that's fine.

Laura: You look wrapped up in a blanket like an old granny OG.

Ron: Shut up.

Ron: Watched a great Christmas movie yesterday.

Laura: Another one?

Laura: You're really hitting the Christmas films this year, haven't you?

Ron: Yeah, juda and I watching all of the Hallmark straight to Netflix ones.

Laura: Nice.

Laura: Don't bother with the Noel diaries.

Ron: The Noel Diary?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: No, that one didn't.

Laura: I tried that.

Laura: Gave up.

Ron: No.

Ron: We watched a miracle for Daisy.

Laura: Oh, that one popped up on mine today to ask me to watch it, but I said I'm sorry.

Laura: I'm knee deep in Megan and Harry.

Ron: Oh, God.

Ron: I've muted the words Harry and Meghan and Meghan and Harry on Twitter.

Laura: See, I don't care for royalty at all, and I largely don't really care for any actresses that aren't Sandra Bullock, but I kind of feel like it's my duty to behave like I adore every syllable that comes out of their mouths just to be the anti Pierce Morgan.

Laura: Yeah, he's crazy privilege.

Laura: He's crazy privilege.

Laura: It's not really anything interesting.

Laura: I watched all of those documentaries back to back and sat through everyone thinking, well, this isn't interesting at all, is it still?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I couldn't give a f***.

Laura: No, but, Ron, you don't have to give a f***.

Laura: You just have to pretend you do to wind people up.

Ron: No.

Ron: I'm so disinterested.

Laura: Hey, will you find me a Mexico treat from Mexico?

Ron: Yes, I'll bring you back a taco.

Laura: A taco?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I don't think that will last.

Ron: Rapid and cling film.

Ron: Put it in the fridge as soon as I'm battling.

Laura: No, I want a better treat than that, please.

Laura: Not edible.

Ron: I'll get to you.

Ron: Chichenitza death whistle.

Laura: Are you going to go scuba diving?

Ron: Not at chichenitza.

Ron: I'm not.

Laura: No.

Laura: But in the Mexican Sea.

Ron: No, I might go snorkelling.

Ron: Probably won't go scuba diving.

Laura: You strike me as the sort boy that would be scared of being under the sea.

Ron: Not for scuba, no.

Ron: I'm not scared of being under the sea.

Ron: I love being under the sea.

Laura: You're scared of Hankers Aria stealing Judith while you try and learn to scuba.

Ron: I would not be happy as an IPO.

Ron: My ears hurt.

Ron: If I go too deep.

Laura: My ears hurt under the water.

Laura: Get a little cap.

Laura: Go in the sea.

Laura: I want a photo of you in the sea.

Ron: Yeah, I will go in the sea.

Laura: But my ears are head under as well.

Laura: Head under.

Ron: My ears hurt.

Ron: If I dive down more than like a metre or two no, maybe more like two or three metres, my ears start hurting.

Laura: It's like because you're tennis.

Laura: You should get medical help with that.

Ron: I did when I was a kid.

Laura: I don't think it's worth do you still have tennis in your ears hurt?

Ron: Well, yeah, because it was like, you can have a cochlear implant or you can f*** off.

Laura: Get a cochlear implant then.

Ron: Why?

Laura: So your ears don't hurt and you don't have tennis.

Laura: You f****** dweeb.

Ron: Yeah, but I'd be taking that away from someone that's actually deaf.

Laura: No, I don't think you have to, like, punch a person out and steal their cochlear.

Laura: They'll just get another one off someone else.

Ron: But I don't think that there are mounds of cochlears everywhere.

Laura: There are.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I don't think they are.

Laura: I think there are ron.

Ron: I don't think there are.

Laura: Lauren I think there are.

Ron: I haven't seen any.

Laura: Well, then they're not real.

Laura: Good point.

Ron: Right, so do you remember what standard form how it works?

Laura: Yes, I do.

Ron: Do you want to explain it back to me.

Laura: What it is?

Laura: It's like sometimes, because of the way elements work, you have to do a sum that is like ten to the power, nine times ten to the power, minus five.

Laura: And it would be really messy and complicated to write out 6 million in numbers or whatever.

Laura: So instead of that, you have these little numbers.

Laura: I try not to look at you and I'm explaining your face flinches.

Laura: So instead of writing out big unwieldy like trains of numbers, you just say ten to the pound, nine to ten to the pound, minus five, and then you can sort of I'll just take the five off the little up the top nine.

Laura: It's ten to the four now.

Laura: And then you just do it like that instead of having to write out a lot of ramble.

Ron: Yeah, just about when I'm listening like that, I'm not wincing because of what you said.

Ron: It's more like I have to really listen for those kernels in there amongst the rambling.

Laura: What do you mean?

Ron: You learn a bit of Spanish on duolingo, right, for age senor.

Ron: But you know, when you don't know that much of a language, you have to really listen out for the words that you know and stuff, and then sort of like the whole time, you're piecing back together kind of the previous 10 seconds that you've heard to sort of string it together.

Laura: Yeah, but, you know, science language yeah.

Ron: Not the way you do it is the thing, but yeah, no, that was broadly correct, from what I understood of it.

Ron: The only thing is that it's not necessarily something to do with elements all the time.

Ron: That's just the context that we've learnt it in.

Ron: It's just a way to deal with very large or very small numbers.

Laura: Right.

Laura: Why are we doing it in chemistry then, if it's not about because it's.

Ron: Not just about elements, but it is about standard form isn't just about elements, it's just a way of displaying very big or very small numbers.

Ron: Can you think of a reason why in chemistry you would need to say very big or very small numbers?

Laura: Because everything's too small.

Laura: So you have to use loads of them.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So either you're describing the size of something or you're describing how many of something there are.

Laura: And it's f****** loads because they're all really not actually things unless you've broken it down to look at it.

Ron: Can you remember at all what a mole is?

Laura: Do you know what's really sad about this lesson is that it's months until there's going to be an interesting one.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Because there's no good holidays until like, September, is there?

Ron: No.

Ron: I'm going to see.

Laura: Maybe we should do a Valentine special.

Laura: The Christmas specials were so fun and so was Halloween.

Laura: And then you just have to spend the Power nine.

Ron: Yeah, I think we will do a Valentine's Day special.

Laura: Yeah, we'll learn about oh, how do we have to breed babies to get them to fly?

Ron: We'll do maybe like how different species attract a mate.

Ron: Something like that.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: There was these multiple times.

Laura: Yeah, but this is too many.

Laura: Have a word with yourself.

Ron: Or we could do.

Laura: Imagine if you've got clothing now because you go to Mexico.

Ron: It's my head.

Ron: It I wonder how much of this is gonna be.

Laura: You'd better cut every second of this s***.

Laura: Stop.

Laura: No.

Laura: Pack it in.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Right, do you remember?

Laura: Hopefully you'll have just heard a sting and now we're back, but oh, my God, we just had like 25 minutes of sitting here while Ron scobbed up, FLEM all over everything.

Ron: It wasn't that long.

Laura: That was disgusting and horrible.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: You can do another one.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: Your tips are so covered in snow right now.

Ron: Go listening like a WWE wrestler.

Laura: That is the quietest.

Laura: You've ever drunk anything on the podcast, though?

Ron: Different bottle.

Laura: Well done.

Ron: Doesn't crackle when I unscrew it.

Ron: It's a chilly it just burnt orange.

Ron: It's quite fashionable.

Laura: I haven't seen Ron drinks noisily.

Laura: On the labrap bingo yet?

Ron: No, they're not real fans.

Laura: It is going to get to a point where we're not going to be sure if people are listening for the science, for the comedy, or just for a random collection of noises in the background.

Ron: Yeah, we're just going to turn into what's essentially a podcast.

Ron: Pop it.

Ron: Same stuff going round and round.

Laura: Maybe the patreon should just be mackie and Yucky have a podcast together.

Ron: I wish I could see them scrap again.

Laura: I'm never going to meet again.

Laura: That's what breaks my heart.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Yikes.

Ron: Downer.

Ron: How long have we been recording?

Laura: So long.

Laura: We haven't done anything yet.

Ron: How long has it been?

Laura: Slow slide into the new year.

Laura: This is it's been 26 minutes.

Ron: F****** h***.

Ron: I've only said the word mole twice.

Laura: Yeah, and I have been perfect and explained the whole thing.

Laura: You haven't.

Ron: Okay, right.

Ron: So a mole.

Ron: So a mole.

Ron: Otherwise known as Avogadro's Constant.

Laura: Oh, yeah, him.

Laura: He was a star.

Laura: Was he a star?

Ron: No.

Laura: Does he have anything to do with a star?

Ron: No, this is the only thing about him.

Ron: Should we find out what Avogadro did apart from this?

Laura: It's something to do with stars.

Laura: I can feel something about a star in me.

Laura: Ding.

Ron: Oh, my God.

Ron: What a f****** creep.

Ron: He looks like a haunted Jim Henson thumb.

Laura: Oh, I would Google him, but I don't know how to spell Avogrados.

Ron: Hang on, let me send this to you.

Ron: Maybe his vague assonance namesake.

Ron: He was just like a rock hard hunk for ages and they just aged like that.

Ron: And then he was just mush.

Ron: Look at this guy.

Laura: Oh, no.

Laura: Yeah, I just found the same picture, Ron's.

Laura: Now send it to me on the WhatsApp web.

Ron: No.

Laura: Oh, that is a man that had to be smart to survive.

Ron: Oh, my God, look at his peers.

Ron: Hang on, let me send you this.

Laura: Or this artist has never seen a human before and has really struggled with capturing how eyes do not bulge out of the head.

Ron: Look at these guys.

Ron: That guy on the bottom is the most handsome man I've ever seen.

Laura: He looks like a cross between SAR Nicholas II and Kurt Russell as Santa.

Ron: Claus and Nick Offerman of it.

Laura: All right.

Laura: Joseph los Schmidt.

Ron: Whereas this guy looks like Elon Musk in a condom being pushed through a tube.

Laura: Yeah, I really hope that that's a bad artist because, I mean, the hair is not doing him any favours, though, is it?

Laura: No, he's got the hair of, like, someone that's mean at the beginning of a Dickens film.

Ron: It's very decensian.

Ron: It's very decentian.

Ron: Anyhow.

Ron: So this is Evagadro.

Ron: He made evagadro's constant.

Laura: It's that girlfriend of the podcast, judith.

Ron: In the background, stomping around, speaking to her friends.

Laura: Yeah, tell her to f*** off.

Laura: Get her own podcast.

Laura: I'm going to text her right now.

Laura: Shut the f*** up, Judith.

Ron: So Avocado is constantly what did he do?

Laura: If I just text, not saying, Shut up, b****.

Ron: I think she find it really funny.

Laura: I think she'd come bursting in and get furious.

Ron: No.

Ron: What's this?

Laura: I'll tell you off the podcast because it's mean to talk about it on the podcast.

Ron: So Avocado is constant is the last thing I sent.

Ron: Judith is 6.02 times ten to the 23.

Laura: Oh, God.

Laura: What does that mean, Ron?

Laura: What?

Laura: What is Avocado grado's avogadro's constant.

Ron: It's 6.02.

Laura: No, I mean what is it?

Laura: What does the point of that be?

Laura: No, what does the point of that be?

Laura: What is what is avoidros constant.

Ron: Let me get there.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Don't tell me it's 6.6 to the power nine, because that's not going to stay in my head until I know what it is.

Ron: Well, but we're not going to just say this and then move on like like I'll tell you.

Ron: So 6.02 times ten to the 23, that's a 6.02.

Ron: And then 21 zeros after it, basically.

Ron: So what that means, what that gives you, he calculated it by that is the number of carbon twelve atoms in twelve grammes of carbon twelve.

Laura: Oh, this is ringing all those dusty jingle bells.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And carbon twelve is like a completely f****** nonsense made up thing as well, isn't it?

Laura: That doesn't actually exist.

Ron: No, carbon twelve very much exists, but doesn't it?

Laura: It's like average twelve in a carbon.

Laura: Nothing is.

Laura: But think of them all are that kind of thing, isn't it?

Ron: No, it isn't.

Ron: This is just what happens when things go through the funhouse mirror version of your brain and then come out warmed.

Laura: Just going to say warm.

Ron: Then imagine how scary that would be if you looked in a fun house mirror.

Ron: And then that's just what you looked like from there on.

Laura: What?

Laura: I don't look that far off it.

Laura: I'm quite short and wiggly.

Laura: I already look like a fun house mirror.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: What?

Laura: Jesus, I just don't even know how to start to pretend to be interested in this.

Laura: So he found out how much carbon in twelve packs made up twelve grammes.

Laura: And then that was that was true of all the numbers, wasn't it?

Laura: Like nine.

Laura: Carbon nines make nine grammes if you avograto them.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So carbon twelve is because we know that there are different isotopes of carbon.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Effectively a different number of neutrons, aka sound engine.

Laura: My God.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So there can be different numbers of neutrons isotope.

Laura: Your breath, naturally.

Ron: So you can have carbon twelve.

Ron: You can have carbon 13, carbon 14, all these different things.

Laura: Okay, so imagine a little street called Carbon Street.

Laura: And then, oh, I live at number 13, and there's 13 neutrons living in my house up carbon 13.

Ron: But there wouldn't be 13 neutrons, would there?

Laura: That's exactly what you just said.

Ron: No, because there are.

Ron: Yes, you did as well.

Ron: Laura said.

Laura: Was all about the number of neutrons, which is the sound engineers.

Laura: That is what you just said.

Ron: It varies because of the number of sound engineers.

Ron: I did not say that.

Ron: That was the number of sound engineers.

Laura: You change it every time.

Ron: No, I don't.

Ron: You just have the memory of a bag of sand.

Laura: I swear to God.

Laura: You just said, wait, because protons are the sound engineers.

Laura: No, neutrons are the sound desks.

Ron: No, that was never what it was.

Laura: Wasn't it?

Laura: Which we randomly the electrons are the.

Ron: Sad boys, protons are Bob Marley, then the neutrons are the sound engineers.

Ron: There was never a sound desk.

Laura: Oh, maybe the nucleus was a sound desk.

Ron: No, protons and neutrons make the nucleus.

Ron: They're not sat in a bucket.

Ron: There's no physical thing.

Laura: I think it would be easier for me to picture it if they were, but they're not.

Ron: It's more like a bunch of great.

Laura: I don't like that there's nothing, you know.

Ron: Well, there's not nothing there's protons and neutrons.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: It thinks your window is a face.

Laura: No, it does, doesn't it?

Laura: Hang on.

Laura: Oh, there we go.

Laura: It's caught my face again.

Laura: Sorry, Ron.

Laura: I was uncomfortable.

Ron: That's fine.

Laura: So what's happening now?

Ron: So, twelve grammes of carbon.

Ron: Twelve.

Ron: The number of carbon atoms in that is 6.02 times ten to 23.

Ron: All right, then what that effectively boils down to is how many protons or neutrons you need for a gramme.

Ron: Laura is just changing her philtres and stuff now.

Ron: All right, I'm going to breeze on board.

Laura: I just don't know what you want me to do with that information, though.

Laura: Do you know what I mean?

Ron: We have this discussion so much and it always makes me wonder if I'm going mad, like, what do I want you to do with this?

Ron: But then I remember doing a f****** podcast.

Ron: This is it.

Ron: This is the content.

Ron: This is what?

Laura: No, it's your job as a teacher to explain to me what I care about that for.

Laura: What am I using that for?

Ron: Yeah, but you always expect that so immediately and just interrupt, like so why.

Laura: I'm not from the East End.

Laura: I don't know why you're doing my voice like that.

Ron: Because you're just like a typical TV hag just screaming about me sometimes.

Ron: Just let me get there.

Ron: We'll find out later on.

Laura: Fine then, mate.

Laura: Here you go.

Laura: Brilliant.

Laura: Tell me the whole thing and I'll save all my questions for the end.

Ron: No, that's not it.

Laura: But oh, he's not happy again.

Laura: You just don't know what you want.

Laura: You don't know how you want me to be involved in this podcast.

Ron: I do, but do you understand the concept of twelve grammes of carbon?

Ron: Twelve avocado is constant.

Ron: You understand that bit?

Laura: What do you mean by carbon twelve?

Ron: Carbon twelve.

Laura: That was about twelve neutrons and then you got all s***** about that.

Laura: So now I'm confused.

Ron: It's about twelve neutrons and protons together, right?

Laura: How do you know how many of each?

Ron: Well, because carbon always has the same number of protons, doesn't it?

Ron: The number of protons defines the element.

Laura: Okay, we know this.

Laura: And then there's different isotopes of twelve of carbon of carbon, depending on how many neutrons.

Ron: Exactly.

Laura: How many electrons does a carbon have?

Ron: Once as many as there are protons.

Ron: A carbon atom, a carbon ion would have a varying number.

Laura: What?

Laura: I thought you just said they always have.

Laura: The same number of electrons?

Ron: No, they always have the same number of protons.

Laura: Protons.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: You can't get so mad at me so quickly.

Ron: For like, 45 minutes.

Laura: So hang on, hang on.

Laura: Electrons are sad boys.

Laura: Always has the same number of electrons.

Ron: No.

Laura: Electrons.

Ron: A sad boys.

Ron: They were on the outside.

Ron: Protons.

Ron: Happy boys.

Ron: Bob Marley's, positive.

Laura: Always has the same number of protons.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Carbon always has the same number of.

Laura: Protons, but not all elements do.

Ron: Well, if you remove a proton, it changes what element it is.

Laura: How do you get protons out of them?

Ron: You don't, really, apart from in some types of radioactive decay.

Ron: But don't worry about that.

Ron: That doesn't matter.

Ron: It's just the fact that the proton defines what element we're talking about.

Laura: I thought that was electrons because they're the ones in the shell.

Ron: No.

Ron: Electrons define whether something is an ion or not.

Laura: Sometimes I think we're making progress with this, and then sometimes you just change something that I thought we learned in the first one.

Ron: We learned this in the first chemistry episode.

Ron: Episode two.

Ron: Nothing has changed.

Laura: I think.

Laura: Why did we learn all the shells and stuff then?

Ron: Because they're true.

Ron: They're there, they're doing their job.

Ron: It's just not this.

Ron: They just don't define the element.

Ron: They define whether something is an ion or not.

Laura: An ion is a charge.

Ron: An ion is a charged particle.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: So you have a carbon atom.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Sometimes the trouble with the way the syllabus is set up is that my brain is used to like novels and stuff where you meet the main character first and you hang everything off them.

Laura: So now, in my head, in an atom, the main character is the electrons, because they're the first bit we did.

Laura: But I don't think that that's true anymore.

Ron: I don't know.

Ron: Even if they were the first bit.

Laura: We did, I think they were.

Ron: I don't know.

Ron: I haven't listened to the second episode in months, probably.

Laura: Well, they are my favourite bit, and they are the main character of the atom.

Laura: Okay, so the periodic table that lists how many protons a thing has, not electrons.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Because the electrons are variable, because then you can have different ions of it.

Ron: So avogadro is not wait, but if.

Laura: A thing isn't an ion, it's got the same number of yes.

Laura: Protons.

Laura: So the periodic table does tell you how many electrons for atoms.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: But the number of electrons doesn't define what element it is.

Ron: The number of protons does.

Laura: It doesn't define you.

Laura: That's nice.

Laura: Okay, so I can remember that.

Laura: Your sadness doesn't define you.

Laura: Electrons do not define the element that.

Ron: Might be counterintuitive for you.

Laura: Why?

Ron: Because your sadness defines you.

Laura: That was really mean.

Laura: You're sad for days now.

Ron: I'm sorry for calling you a classic TV hack.

Laura: You really start in the new year by being a vicious lieute, aren't you?

Ron: Well, I'm still a pre holiday at this point.

Ron: It will be.

Laura: Nice vibes, giddy and tightly went.

Laura: Maybe you'll come home from Mexico, like, really chilled.

Laura: I don't think you will.

Ron: No, probably not.

Ron: Right, so do you understand what an atom is now?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Brilliant.

Ron: So you understand what carbon twelve is?

Ron: That sounds like a situation.

Laura: It's all right.

Laura: Well, the reason I looked out the window, there was the postman was walking past, but she's going mad, presumably because he's not bringing us post.

Laura: He's either a scab and she's furious about it, or she's very anti strikes and she's like, Where's our f****** post?

Laura: I don't know which one she is, but what did you say?

Laura: Do I understand what carbon twelve is?

Laura: So carbon twelve is a carbon atom where the protons and neutrons add up to twelve.

Ron: Yes, exactly.

Ron: Now, in actuality, like, a massive carbon that you have is going to be a spectrum of different types of carbon acid.

Laura: I told you it didn't really exist.

Ron: But it does exist.

Laura: But this is this bullshit I was talking about.

Laura: Yeah, it is nonsense, isn't it?

Laura: Come on, just be quiet, please.

Laura: We're doing a downstairs record today, but I didn't sit by the fruit bowl to help you out.

Laura: Wrong.

Ron: That's nice.

Ron: Carbon twelve does exist, though.

Laura: Yeah, but it's one of these parts of it where you say, oh, this is all about carbon twelve.

Laura: But just bear in mind there's only one carbon twelve in there.

Laura: Rest of them are anywhere between 18 and four.

Laura: But we just call it twelve.

Laura: Just call it twelve.

Laura: Have a little twelve.

Laura: No, have some twelve.

Laura: Call it twelve.

Laura: There you go.

Laura: Can't possibly know what they all are, so we just call it twelve.

Ron: But we don't just call it twelve.

Laura: All right, you finish your sentence, then we'll see if you're about to just call them twelve.

Laura: That's not all twelve.

Ron: No, but we don't like I just said, when you have some carbon, there is a range of different carbons in it, but avogadro's number is how many carbon twelve atoms.

Ron: You would need to have twelve grammes of carbon twelve.

Ron: Whether you could get twelve grammes of just carbon twelve altogether at once is irrelevant.

Ron: That fact is still true.

Laura: Yeah, lovely.

Laura: But if you can't ever get load of carbon twelve, why did he get a book deal to tell us all about this number he'd made up?

Laura: It's like me saying it's a tailor for tropical fish.

Laura: Now, listen, whether you can actually get a tropical fish into a dress is irrelevant, sir.

Laura: But the fact remains, I have created a tailor for tropical fish.

Laura: Good day.

Ron: Now, if this was the first time we were going through this, maybe I'd forgive you that question.

Ron: Maybe I did last time.

Ron: But you know why this is useful?

Laura: I honestly can't remember.

Ron: So we know this number.

Ron: That is how much carbon twelve you need to make double one laura, focus.

Laura: Up for a bit, because that's a number I know.

Ron: Cross.

Laura: You are cross.

Laura: But I actually think it's your fault, your cross.

Ron: Shut up.

Ron: So we know how much carbon?

Ron: Twelve.

Ron: We need to make twelve grammes of it.

Ron: However, we also know what the average weight of a carbon atom is.

Ron: It's the number that's on your periodic table.

Laura: Yeah, I don't have that with me today, though.

Laura: It's upstairs.

Laura: So that I didn't cheat this lesson.

Ron: By helpful of you, but that's fine.

Ron: So we know that as well.

Ron: So what we can do pardon?

Laura: I just don't think this lesson would have been very good if I wasn't learning all of that.

Ron: You could have looked at different pages, you could have written a blank piece of paper, you could have still used the periodic table, which presumably you didn't write the notes for this lesson on.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What are you doing?

Laura: You combing a tree, dead heading a plant.

Laura: I don't need to make notes before I've done the quiz.

Laura: I'm already a genius, probably.

Laura: Or a failure, depending on how it went.

Ron: I mean, I will back you up that you don't need to make notes because apparently making them does not get them into the old brain box at all.

Laura: We've known that for ages.

Ron: Yeah, but fine.

Ron: Okay, let's move on.

Laura: Wait, did we finish that?

Ron: Do you understand what avogatro's constant is now?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Do you want to repeat it back to me?

Laura: How many carbon twelves.

Laura: Do you have to have to make?

Laura: Twelve grammes of carbon.

Laura: It's six point whatever it was to the power.

Laura: Whatever it was.

Ron: How many beryllium fives do you need to have?

Ron: Five grammes of beryllium five.

Laura: Avocados constant?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: How many helium fours do you need to have four grammes of helium?

Ron: Four.

Laura: Same ZS.

Ron: How many carbon?

Ron: Twelves.

Ron: Do you need to have 24 grammes of carbon?

Ron: Twelve.

Laura: Two vagrogradrose.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: I think you get it now.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Cool.

Ron: Okay, so we're going to move on to using this in equations, all right?

Laura: Okay, here we go.

Ron: So aggregate rose constant or a mole.

Ron: It's just a number, like a dozen, right?

Ron: Mole.

Ron: We are going to use sugar.

Ron: We're going to work out honey, honey, we're going to work out.

Laura: You are my candy girl.

Ron: We're going to work out how many moles of sugar there are in a kilogramme of sugar.

Ron: Okay?

Laura: Yeah, this ring's a bell?

Laura: Loads.

Ron: So not that many I have to.

Laura: Work out the weight of.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So the chemical formula for sugar is C six, h twelve six.

Laura: Shall I write that down?

Laura: I'm opening up my flower press.

Laura: Look at this cool flower that I pressed.

Laura: Can you see that?

Ron: No.

Laura: There we go again.

Ron: C six h twelve six.

Laura: Can you see it now?

Ron: C six h twelve six.

Laura: It's because the philtre is getting in the way.

Ron: C six h twelve six.

Laura: Oh, look at that now.

Ron: C six h twelve.

Ron: Six.

Laura: Ron, I'm trying to show you my flower.

Laura: The b*** of my flower is stuck to the paper.

Laura: Hang on.

Laura: C six, h twelve, six.

Laura: C six, h twelve.

Laura: You're going to have to make notes.

Laura: Wrong, because I haven't got my notepad.

Ron: I'm not going to do that.

Laura: Me neither.

Laura: No, I will.

Laura: Hang on, I'm going to have to rearrange my microphone again though, because I'm just sort of sitting, kneeling up like.

Ron: A we've been an hour.

Laura: What do you mean?

Ron: We've been recording for about an hour?

Laura: Yeah, I told you I wasn't going to make notes.

Ron: Okay, darling, we'll just cruise through it.

Laura: Well, if you're going to ask me to work out sums, I can't work them out of my head, can I?

Laura: You're being really horrible today.

Ron: No, I think because you f***** up recording the last time we did this, somehow you think now this time you don't have to do any work.

Laura: No, I'm here doing the work.

Ron: You decided you just weren't going to take notes.

Laura: Ron, why would I make notes?

Ron: Because you have to do a f****** calculation, you hag.

Ron: It needs the right thing.

Laura: Stop calling me a hag, you are so rude.

Laura: I've written it down.

Laura: C six, h twelve.

Laura: Six.

Laura: Brilliant.

Ron: Right, how much does it weigh?

Laura: I don't know.

Ron: What's the mole of mass of sugar?

Laura: Well, don't know.

Laura: I don't know what carbon that is.

Laura: Is that carbon?

Laura: Twelve?

Ron: Well, you use the average, don't you?

Laura: I don't know, Ron.

Ron: Well, look at a periodic table.

Laura: Get the weights off that right, you'll be right.

Laura: Pack this in actually, because we weren't even talking about this a second ago and now you're being snappy trying to get me to do something completely different.

Laura: Start this again.

Ron: I seem to remember debating with you how much different elements wait for some time.

Laura: What do you mean?

Ron: We were talking about how much stuff, weight, the whole lesson.

Ron: That's what moles is about, only discussing elements.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: You need periodic pain.

Laura: We were talking about that twelve stuff.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: That doesn't tell you how much sugar weighs.

Ron: It does when there's carbons in it.

Laura: I feel sometimes like you are f****** like sphinx.

Laura: What are you talking about?

Laura: So genuinely, and I'm not even taking the p*** here, what we've been talking about today.

Laura: From that I'm supposed to be able to work out what, sugar ways?

Ron: No.

Ron: From a periodic table and from six months of context.

Laura: Oh, stop throwing context at me.

Laura: So what the f*** does carbon weigh?

Laura: Oh my God, I'm looking at imperioric table.

Laura: Oh my God, you make me so angry.

Laura: You make me so angry.

Ron: You make me despondent.

Laura: You make me furious.

Laura: I'm looking at a period table.

Laura: It says six.

Laura: Does it say six?

Ron: What's?

Ron: Six?

Laura: I don't know, Ron, that's why I'm asking you.

Laura: Is that the weight of it?

Ron: What numbers are there in hydrogen?

Laura: Hydrogen.

Laura: Number one.

Ron: Okay, what numbers in helium?

Laura: Two.

Ron: What numbers in beryllium?

Laura: Four.

Ron: What numbers in lithium?

Laura: Three.

Ron: What about boron?

Laura: Five.

Ron: What about carbon?

Laura: So that's the weight.

Laura: They all get a bit bigger as you add more.

Ron: No, it's not the weightingly.

Ron: Angry because do you remember that each element is effectively when it has one more proton?

Ron: No, the proton defines the element.

Laura: You're not defined by your sadness.

Ron: No.

Ron: You're defined by the positivity in your core.

Laura: So is that how many protons they have?

Ron: Yes, that's why it counts up from one.

Ron: Does that make sense?

Laura: Yeah, but you're being lippy.

Ron: I am being lippy?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Moderate your tone.

Ron: No, you're being s***.

Laura: I'm trying to learn.

Ron: Okay, so what other numbers are there?

Ron: I think there's only one other one.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So, like, hydrogen's got, basically a one, but it's 1.78.

Ron: So what do you think that is?

Laura: Is that the weight?

Laura: F****** please tell me that's the weight.

Ron: Why is it international?

Ron: Why do you think that's a decimal, not a whole round number?

Laura: Because all of this is estimated garbage.

Ron: No, because it's averages.

Ron: Because of the isotopes.

Ron: No, it's not the same thing.

Ron: You can tanker a switch.

Laura: I've upgraded from a hag.

Laura: We're still outcast women, but now I've got powers.

Laura: Okay, so hydrogen weighs one point.

Ron: Isn't it funny how many cryptids are based off just women that didn't want to hang out with you anymore?

Laura: Yeah, just women that were tired of being raped and murdered, tried to go live on their own.

Laura: We should burn us.

Laura: Yeah, 100%.

Laura: The whole idea of a witch and the way they look like with the brimstick and the hat and stuff, is because they were brewers.

Laura: And brewing was one of the first occupations that women kind of got into and got real good at.

Laura: And then men got suspicious.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And we're good at that.

Laura: First we were brewers and then we were sandwich makers.

Laura: Mackie, I can't fight with you and Ron at the same time.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: This lesson is like a fever dream.

Laura: Every time I think we're doing one thing, you suddenly go, no, haven't mentioned that at all.

Laura: And there's a small dog trying to eat me.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: Right.

Laura: 1.78.

Ron: Okay, so what's the weight of carbon?

Laura: Is that not what that was?

Laura: No.

Laura: Carbon is to see twelve point eleven.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: So the chemical equation for sugar is C.

Ron: Six.

Ron: H.

Ron: Twelve.

Ron: Six.

Ron: How much does sugar weigh?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: You calculate that for me, please.

Laura: So I've got to do just that's.

Laura: Basics.

Laura: Isn't it?

Laura: Sea time.

Laura: All you had to do was teach me well, and I'd have got there.

Ron: I'm not a teacher.

Laura: Well, I'm not a scientist.

Laura: So you expect me to be a scientist?

Laura: No, times.

Laura: You're going to have to edit out some thinking time here.

Laura: Stood on my foot.

Laura: Right.

Laura: Carbon is 72 point.

Laura: I could work that out.

Laura: Probably actually.

Laura: 72.0.

Laura: No, wait, so I've multiplied that by twelve.

Laura: Oh, my God, I'm dumb.

Laura: What was it?

Laura: C?

Laura: Six.

Laura: H 1206 six.

Laura: So twelve point eleven times six.

Laura: Come on, silly sausage.

Laura: Oh, no, that was right.

Laura: I had done that right.

Laura: Sometimes I doubt myself.

Laura: Ron 1.78 god, this does not bode well for the exam that we've done this episode within a month and now here we are doing it again, shouting.

Ron: Oh, the exam's going to be a blood box.

Laura: Do I hate about my calculator, the.

Ron: Fact that you have to use it?

Laura: I do hate that too, but can you be a little bit kinder?

Laura: No.

Laura: I hate that the dots, the decimal places are commas.

Ron: Yeah, that is weird.

Laura: 15.99 old oxygens taken up.

Laura: I'm surprised, too.

Laura: Mackey times 695.

Laura: He's a heavy bugger.

Laura: 95.99 four.

Laura: What is this, milligrammes?

Ron: No, it's relative mass.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: Even this isn't a real thing.

Ron: Well, no, avocados constant is kind of the converter between relative mass and grammes.

Laura: All right, 180.1.

Ron: Ron okay, cool.

Ron: How many moles of sugar are there in a kilogramme of sugar?

Laura: What?

Ron: How many moles of sugar are there in a kilogramme of sugar?

Laura: I don't know.

Ron: Ron yeah, you got to calculate it with your calculator.

Laura: I don't know how to do that.

Ron: How many moles are there in twelve grammes of carbon?

Ron: Twelve.

Laura: One.

Ron: Okay, so if I had a mole of sugar, how much would it weigh?

Laura: One.

Ron: One what?

Laura: No.

Laura: 180 grammes.

Ron: There we go.

Ron: Okay, so how many moles do I have in a kilogramme?

Laura: Just over five.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: During a calculate.

Laura: How do I calculate that?

Laura: 1000 divided by 180.

Laura: That would do it.

Laura: That would do it.

Laura: No, not 100 and 8280.15?

Laura: .55.

Ron: That sounds about right.

Ron: Cool.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Well done.

Ron: Cool beans.

Ron: So we can use this when we're talking about equations as well.

Ron: Okay, so we can use this to balance equations.

Laura: So would you ever have a scoop that picks up a mole?

Ron: Well, you could, but it would only work for one substance, wouldn't it?

Laura: I just don't understand how this is ever useful.

Laura: It's all just theoretical, isn't it?

Ron: I think what I said just now, it's the converter between relative mass and the actual weight of the thing.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: I just didn't understand that bit when.

Ron: You said, do you remember what relative mass is?

Laura: No.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: I probably made a joke about, like, your aunts and uncles going to communion.

Ron: Yeah, we did.

Ron: So we need a way to talk about how much atoms weigh.

Ron: But as we can see from avogadro's constant, we would have to be saying, like, okay.

Ron: So that's not .8 times ten to the -23 all the time plus something else times ten to the minus three it'd be tiny tiny.

Ron: Tiny, yeah, yeah, to a point that that would be frustrating and difficult to.

Laura: Do but Ron, I find this tiny and frustrating to do.

Ron: Yes, but there are much greater minds on the job.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Thank God.

Laura: Dad was telling me about nuclear fusion this weekend.

Laura: I'm so glad there's people out there that can do that.

Laura: They've had a breakthrough with it.

Ron: Ron oh, interesting.

Laura: What?

Ron: Cold fusion?

Laura: Nuclear fusion.

Ron: Okay, that is basically a rich well of conversation.

Laura: Well, this was an idea I had, actually, for another type of patreon episode, which was where dad brings us something from the news about science and tells us both about it.

Laura: You do have a chat while I sit there.

Ron: Agony dad.

Laura: I'd like to get dad on the podcast and then everybody will understand why you are the way you are.

Ron: Yeah, I started saying Tara at the end of phone conversations with people at work, which is a very dad thing to do.

Laura: Do you ever answer the phone and go watch her?

Ron: No, not picked that one up.

Laura: I call people git face.

Ron: I called you a crimit earlier.

Laura: Yeah, you did.

Laura: I picked up crimit.

Laura: That's a dadism.

Ron: That's a dadism.

Ron: Anyway, so we can use moles when we're talking about when we are talking about different equations that we're doing.

Ron: Right?

Ron: So, for example, if we were reacting magnesium with hydrochloric acid yeah.

Ron: We would say mg magnesium poem G plus two.

Laura: Is that Nikki in the background?

Laura: Yeah, she really liked my joke.

Ron: Plus two, HCL equals should I be writing this down?

Ron: No, you'll need to write something down in a bit.

Ron: So don't eat your pen or something.

Laura: I haven't got a pen.

Ron: Equals I'm doing it in a word.

Laura: Document or pages?

Laura: Document.

Ron: Technically equals MGCL two.

Ron: So that's magnesium with two chlorines.

Laura: That was by MGCL two.

Ron: Plus H two.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: It's a hydrogen gas.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So what you can say you can use moles for this and you can say, right, so we need two moles of HCL for every 1 mol of magnesium that we have.

Laura: Do you reckon, in the curriculum on BBC bike size?

Laura: Is there an illustration of a mole bringing these things around?

Ron: I don't know.

Ron: Maybe we could have a cartoon of, like, a mole hanging itself.

Laura: That's bleak.

Ron: Yeah, this episode is quite bleak.

Laura: Maybe the lost tape was the most joyous.

Laura: Maybe I've really got it.

Ron: No, because I'm suffering from an intense and dangerous sense of deja vu.

Laura: That's sad for you.

Ron: I also can't really see your face looking at Christmas scene.

Laura: Am I not weird?

Laura: Do I have to sit in the middle for you to see me?

Laura: Hang on, I'll move my laptop.

Ron: Wait, where was it pointing before?

Laura: At me.

Laura: I was fully on the screen as far as I was concerned.

Ron: Oh, no, I'd just been looking at your shoulder for the last hour and 20 mean.

Laura: I wondered why you weren't telling me off or looking at my phone and stuff.

Ron: Oh, I've given up, Ron.

Laura: It's new Year, new us.

Laura: Don't give up.

Laura: Help me.

Ron: You can't say that when we're literally rerecording it.

Laura: We could have pretended we weren't and lied to the listeners.

Laura: That's just not who we are.

Ron: Maybe we're not talented actors like I am.

Laura: No.

Ron: You know?

Laura: Yes, I am.

Ron: No.

Laura: You know, Runner, that's literally half my livelihood.

Laura: I'm a very talented actor.

Ron: I've never seen you act in anything.

Laura: That's because you don't support me in my endeavours.

Ron: Park off.

Laura: You've never seen me act in anything?

Ron: I don't think so.

Laura: Why not?

Ron: What have you acted in?

Laura: All sorts.

Ron: You came to see inks that you directed.

Laura: No.

Laura: And I was in one version.

Ron: Oh, I saw you in The Importance of Being Earnest.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Thank you.

Laura: And I was brilliant.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Good.

Ron: Play that.

Laura: And performance.

Ron: Right, okay.

Ron: So do you understand what I just said there?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Do you remember what I just said?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So we can say we need two moles of HCL for every 1 mol of magnesium.

Ron: Why that's useful is because focus up.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Why that's useful is because we can use avogadro's constant to turn those moles into amounts.

Ron: Right.

Laura: Turn that mole up.

Laura: Cyprol.

Ron: So I can't remember exactly what the weight of magnesium is, but you would then know that for every, like, 23 grammes of magnesium, you need 40 grammes of HCL.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Do you understand that?

Ron: Does that make sense?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: And do you understand how that is a practical application of this?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: You're not being convincing.

Laura: Yeah, no, that makes sense.

Laura: It's a bit like if I'm making a cake and I just haven't got the exact recipe, but I've quickly got to make a cake.

Laura: Knowing roughly how much butter to flour goes into a cake is helpful, and maybe I could say more during that.

Ron: Kind of so we're going to calculate one of these now?

Laura: No, I got it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So the moles, in this sense, that's kind of a ratio, and then avogadro's constant lets you convert between the moles and the weight of and how much of it you physically need.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: So we know we need two moles of HCL for every one mol of magnesium.

Ron: We can use avogadro's constant to turn on that into weights.

Ron: So then when we're actually doing this in a lab or something, we'd know if we had one gramme of magnesium, how much we have acid, we'd need to react with it.

Laura: Yeah?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: We're going to do one of these now.

Ron: So if you don't understand it, say now.

Laura: Ron.

Laura: I don't understand it.

Laura: He simply can't say the same thing for the fourth time in this episode.

Laura: So I don't know what to do.

Laura: I'm torn somewhere between loving you and respecting you, wanting to make a good broadcast and having no idea what you're talking about.

Ron: I don't understand how you don't get that.

Laura: I know you don't, but it's because every time you explain it, I just hear beaker coming out of your face.

Laura: That is the bridge between theory and kilogrammes.

Ron: And it's, how much does a molar's magnesium weigh?

Laura: I don't know.

Ron: Well, look at a periodic f****** table.

Laura: What do you mean?

Ron: Look at a periodic table and tell me how it's a more magnesium way.

Laura: Do you hear yourself run.

Ron: Laura?

Ron: Yeah, but don't act like I'm asking you to do something crazy.

Ron: I'm asking you to read out a.

Laura: F****** number I can't remember every time that it's.

Laura: That number.

Laura: It's 24 graph.

Ron: Okay, brilliant.

Ron: How much does two moles of HCL weigh?

Ron: You might have to add a number there and then multiply it by two.

Laura: So basically one plus 1226 grammes.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Roughly.

Ron: So we know what equation we want to do.

Laura: Yeah, but what do you mean by mole?

Laura: What is I do understand why oh, God.

Laura: I don't want to do this anymore.

Ron: Laura, this is the first time in our podcast history where we actually have a set amount that we need to do because we've done the quiz.

Ron: So unfortunately, this was going to be a January bumper episode because we have to get through this.

Laura: You haven't got time to edit it before you go to Mexico, buddy.

Ron: I do, I do very little editing should do more.

Ron: Shut up.

Laura: It's not slick.

Ron: Shut up.

Laura: Cream, cream, cream.

Laura: That's cricket.

Ron: But that's a practical application because we've turned it into the physical amount of the thing that you would need.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: All right.

Laura: So we're going to have to do with 6.0, though.

Laura: I understand and completely accept that whatever the weight of something is you say, oh, a mole of it is that many grammes.

Laura: How does that bring you to six point?

Ron: Because that's how many of those atoms there are always.

Laura: And it always just makes up.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: That's wild.

Laura: F****** massive f****** bananas, isn't it?

Ron: Jesus.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: We're going to do one of these now.

Laura: We've done one.

Laura: We did, sugar.

Ron: No, that was nothing.

Ron: We're going to do one of these now.

Ron: Learn to build trying to build a house out of Angel Delight.

Ron: Everything you slop on just spreads out.

Laura: Imagine how I feel like you're just.

Ron: Getting Angel Delight rain down on you all the time.

Laura: It's really sad.

Laura: Not just understanding it.

Laura: Imagine the delights of the universe that are evading me.

Ron: I don't know, I think Dunning Kruger affecting takes hold at some point.

Laura: It does.

Laura: I've never claimed to be good at science.

Ron: No, true.

Ron: But maybe like a Dunning Kruger effect of joy.

Ron: No, but you're sad anyway.

Laura: I think it's opposite of Danning Kruger.

Laura: I think I so don't understand Kruger Danning.

Laura: When you start explaining something, my brain just goes you're thick, you don't get this.

Laura: Stop listening.

Ron: Yeah, I think you sit right in that trough, the trough of the town and trigger event.

Laura: I'm the hyphen between.

Ron: Just smart enough to know how stupid you are.

Ron: Right, so, Laura, get your Tiffany types ready because we're doing a thing we.

Laura: Have all the way to the birdie.

Ron: Boiler, 60.14 grammes of C, two H, six.

Laura: Whoa.

Laura: 62 grammes of what?

Ron: 60.4 grammes one, four grammes of C, two H, six, otherwise known as Ethane.

Laura: Ethane.

Ron: Methane.

Ron: Slightly bigger, brother.

Ron: We're gonna burn that's methane.

Ron: So we're going to burn that in oxygen completely.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: All right.

Ron: So that's going to take us 223.99 grammes of oxygen.

Laura: 223.99 grammes of oxygen.

Ron: Now, how does oxygen exist as a gas car?

Laura: Rave?

Laura: What do you mean?

Laura: Impairs.

Ron: Impairs two.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Like the phone provider.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: When we burn this, we're going to get 176.4 grammes of CO2.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: In a minute, he's going to leave one more bit of information and then go, so untangle that and sit back in his chair.

Laura: And then when I say, I don't know what you mean or how to do that, he's going to go, I'm.

Ron: Going to be really nice throughout this whole equation.

Laura: I'm going to be nice back.

Ron: And then we also get 108.09 grammes of H.

Ron: 20.

Laura: I've written all of that down.

Ron: Okay, perfect.

Ron: So what we're going to do is we're going to work out the balanced equation here using these weights.

Laura: Okay?

Ron: So do you remember with our example before where we did HCL and magnesium?

Ron: Do you remember that?

Laura: No.

Laura: What do we do?

Ron: We did a little example before.

Ron: We were talking about HCL reacting with magnesium.

Ron: Do you remember we needed two moles of HCL for every 1 mol of magnesium?

Laura: No.

Ron: You don't remember that?

Laura: I remember looking at those and I just added them together and told you.

Ron: So you do remember it, then?

Ron: Do you remember that?

Laura: H, are you there?

Ron: Do you know who I am?

Laura: No, I don't remember talking about chlorine.

Ron: Do you know who I am?

Ron: I'm Ron.

Ron: I'm your brother.

Ron: We're doing a podcast.

Ron: Do you know where you are?

Ron: Are you at home?

Ron: You've got a background on are you lost?

Laura: No, but we didn't talk about chlorine because that's 35.45 three.

Laura: I haven't looked at that number today.

Ron: It was HCL.

Ron: You should have looked at it.

Laura: Wrong number.

Ron: Yeah, maybe it doesn't matter now.

Ron: We're getting caught in cobwebs.

Laura: We've already looked at just carbon.

Laura: I just did, HC.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: You're not even listening and checking my answers then, are you?

Ron: No.

Ron: The second time we've done this right, Laura, so, yeah, we have the weights of all of these things that we're making.

Ron: Step one, could you have any guess as to what step one is going to be?

Ron: To working out this puzzle?

Laura: Don't pick up the phone.

Laura: No.

Laura: It bothers you when you're drunk and alone.

Ron: Don't get that reference.

Ron: No.

Laura: So, step two, don't let them in.

Laura: You'll have to kick him out again.

Ron: With all the other ones that we've.

Laura: Done, we've had to work there new rules.

Ron: I don't know that.

Ron: We had to work out the relative mass of everything, didn't we?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: So maybe we have to do that now.

Laura: While I do that.

Laura: Can you.

Laura: Quickly summarise with the listener what relative maths was.

Ron: I'm not going to do that.

Ron: We've done it.

Ron: You did it for HCL, you did it for magnesium and you've done it for sugar.

Ron: I think you should be able to do this.

Ron: And if you can't, I think you need to have a long look at yourself and how you're applying yourself.

Laura: I'm not sure I am applying myself.

Ron: No, exactly.

Laura: Ron, forgive me, but I do not know what you want me to do.

Ron: Can we stop?

Ron: Can we just stop?

Ron: We've already done the quiz.

Ron: Doesn't matter.

Ron: If we go through this, you're going to forget it anyway.

Laura: I want to know.

Ron: Ron, I don't care to tell you anymore.

Laura: I've just forgotten what relative math meant.

Ron: We have talked about this several times this episode.

Laura: I know.

Laura: So, C is twelve.

Laura: 212 is 24.

Laura: H is one.

Laura: Six of those, that's six.

Laura: So let's call that 30.

Laura: So if I've got 60 grammes of it, I've got two moles.

Ron: There we go.

Laura: Is that right?

Ron: Yeah, that was it.

Ron: You did it.

Ron: See, you panic, but you know it.

Laura: I just need you to be kind to me while I do it.

Ron: You seem really kind.

Laura: You weren't.

Laura: You were sitting, holding the bridge of your nose, staring at the floor, to be honest, in the background.

Ron: That's when you got something right.

Ron: When I was being kind.

Ron: You weren't doing it.

Laura: You haven't been kind yet.

Ron: Ted was kind.

Ron: I was kind for aged years.

Ron: Okay, now the next one.

Ron: That was good work.

Ron: Well done.

Laura: Yeah, I agree.

Laura: Actually, babes, oxygen, let's call that 16.

Laura: It's roughly 16, but it's in a two, so maybe 32.

Laura: Let's call it a 32 then.

Laura: Let's divide 223 by 32.

Laura: Let's call that seven.

Laura: Seven moles of oxygen?

Ron: Probably.

Laura: Well, if you're not even going to cheque it, how do I know if I'm getting it right?

Ron: You are, based off what you said.

Laura: Twelve for carbon.

Laura: I know you need to go out, Mackie, but I'm trying to learn this f****** nonsense.

Laura: 32.

Laura: So let's call that 48.

Ron: This, Laura, is why we don't record intros outros after we've done an episode.

Ron: Because we are going to be angry now in those intros outros.

Laura: Yeah, well, whose fault?

Laura: I know, Pudd.

Laura: I know.

Laura: 3.7 moles.

Laura: That doesn't feel right.

Laura: All the others have been around numbers.

Laura: Oh, mackie.

Laura: Quiet.

Laura: My beans, please.

Laura: 18.

Laura: Right, let's call that six moles.

Laura: Right.

Laura: One of these feels wrong.

Laura: Ron.

Laura: I've got two moles of whatever methane ethane, seven moles of oxygen, 3.7 moles of CO2 and then six moles of H 20.

Laura: And I've got to go and let the dog out now.

Laura: So you took the listener through.

Laura: Whether that was right or not, I.

Ron: Don'T have the answers written down.

Laura: Well, f****** h***.

Ron: Now, time for the quiz.

Laura: So, what, is that done now, then?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Imagine if we did this episode last time and it just went really well.

Laura: And now we're going to bounce into a quiz where we're like, hey, buddy, remember last time when all the numbers 50%?

Ron: This is going to be our longest episode ever.

Ron: We've been recording for an hour and a half and we've got the quiz to go on top.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: All right, then.

Laura: Well, enjoy that quiz.

Laura: I bet I smashed it.

Ron: We were different people.

Laura: Love you, Ron.

Ron: Bye.

Laura: All ronnie, you came and you gave me a quiz and I was brilliant.

Laura: I did.

Laura: All Ronnie.

Laura: Absolutely nothing.

Laura: He's got nothing.

Laura: He hated it so much.

Laura: He's got nothing.

Ron: No.

Ron: I was going to reply with my own musical barrier.

Laura: Please do.

Ron: Maybe a quiz with Laura.

Ron: She got tubmax.

Ron: Yeah, that's as far as I got.

Laura: It was good.

Laura: It was good.

Laura: It stared at me down the camera for a second.

Laura: Now, Ron, in a fun turn of events, I've not looked at my notepad yet.

Laura: So that when you say, what did we study last time?

Laura: I've not checked the notepad.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: F****** suspicious that you've done this on The Week, where we're recording two episodes in one week.

Ron: Laura jacques Hughes.

Ron: It's only been a few days.

Laura: Yeah, which just makes it worse that I am racking my brains.

Laura: I've got no idea.

Laura: We studied moles.

Laura: Moles, yes.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: And we were texting about it yesterday.

Ron: A genuinely cross during that record.

Laura: Do you know what?

Laura: I think it's chemistry has been getting our backs up lately, because I was editing the chemistry before moles yesterday and I think it is the least proud of myself.

Laura: I've been in an episode listening to it back.

Laura: I can hear in my voice.

Laura: I'm really sure you're being horrible to me.

Laura: You are not.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: When you messaged me about that, I was like, I'm quite certain I started that episode by apologising to you, because I hadn't explained something very well.

Ron: But in this lesson, we were going to go through it and then you were a petulant bag of term.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So obviously moulds was going to be stressful after that because you'd had a bad one, I had a bad one, then we both had a bad one.

Ron: So, question number one, what's a mole?

Laura: Laura okay, a mole is a number.

Laura: It's a really big number, 6 trillion billion.

Laura: That kind of big.

Laura: And it represents the number of an atom that you need to weigh.

Laura: The number of grammes that that atom is called.

Laura: For example, 1 mol equals how many carbon?

Laura: Twelves.

Laura: You need to be twelve grammes.

Ron: You know what, Laura?

Ron: That was such a good answer.

Ron: I'll give you two marks for it.

Ron: How much would five moles of Beryllium weigh?

Laura: Beryllium?

Laura: What?

Ron: Let's just say you've got a lump of Beryllium, so you don't know.

Laura: Five moles.

Ron: Five Moles beryllium.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: So the average weight Beryllium is 9.1 on my periodic table.

Laura: So I'm going to say let's just multiply that by five.

Laura: So I'm going to say 45 grammes.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: 45.5.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Nice.

Ron: Okay, another mark.

Ron: And then finally you'll need probably paper and a pen and a calculator.

Ron: And your periodic table for this one.

Laura: It's going a bit well.

Laura: Everyone okay.

Ron: Okay, write down this reaction, please.

Laura: Surprise.

Laura: So I just draw some emojis.

Ron: Livid p 410.

Laura: Actual P or that little Roy guy?

Ron: No, that's called row.

Ron: So I'd have said row if I meant row.

Ron: No, this is a P.

Ron: There's also a different discipline.

Ron: That was physics.

Laura: P 04:02.

Ron: Yep.

Ron: So that's one molecule plus six H.

Laura: 20 plus six H 20.

Ron: Equals four H, three P, four H, three P four.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: And that's four h three P.

Ron: Four.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: If we had a kilogramme of P 410, how much water would we need to react with?

Ron: All of it.

Laura: The wheels came smashing off.

Laura: I just noticed in my notes, I've just written, I hate Ron.

Ron: That's not very nice.

Laura: No, but I've written it in pencil where the rest of the notes are in pen.

Laura: So I clearly out at some point.

Ron: No, that's because I asked you to get a pencil at some point and you got angry at me because you got a pencil and you could have just used a pen.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: My God.

Laura: All right.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: What are we talking about here, then?

Laura: So I've got a kilogramme of P 410.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: And what do you want to know?

Laura: How much water I need then?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: We can do this a little bit together, though, because this is a bit different to the ones we went through last week.

Ron: What do you reckon the first step is?

Laura: The first step?

Laura: I really want to try hard, but okay, so here's a feeling I get when something like this happens, that I hate feeling stupid and I hate not being good at things.

Laura: So my instinct is just to run away from this without trying.

Laura: So that if I didn't try, I never tried, I didn't fail.

Ron: Sure, okay.

Ron: But let's not do that because we're deep into this podcast.

Ron: Now, how about this?

Ron: Why don't you think about what we were talking about last week and apply that as a bit of context just to the first step of what we might need to do.

Ron: We have the weight of how much we've got, and we've got its chemical makeup.

Laura: Convert the P four into badges with nuts.

Laura: As I recall, that's what we spend a lot of time working.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: It was a s*** analogy.

Laura: That didn't that's because I misunderstood at the time.

Laura: What is P?

Laura: Phosphorus phosphorescence.

Laura: Like when you swam in grease and your fingers went pink.

Ron: It didn't go pink.

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: I wasn't invited on that whole day.

Ron: No, I didn't want you there.

Ron: You're a lot.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: Right, so let's break it down.

Laura: P weighs 30.97.

Laura: Let's find out what everything weighs.

Laura: That feels like a start, doesn't it?

Laura: O weighs 16, I believe.

Laura: Just know that off the top of my head.

Laura: H ways 1.8.

Laura: And that's everything that's in the gang.

Ron: Cool.

Ron: So from that, we can work out what the Molar mass of these molecules is.

Ron: The Molar mass is just the atomic masses added together.

Laura: So, yeah, so I've got ten O's, that's 160.

Laura: I've got four P's.

Laura: So that's 120 plus 4.97.88, add 100 and 6283.88.

Laura: So that's the molar mass of P four o ten.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Is that in Grammes?

Ron: Well, 1 Mol of that would be that many grammes at the moment.

Ron: That it's just the Molar mass.

Ron: That's just what it is.

Ron: But if you were to have 1 Mol of it, then yeah, it would be in Grammes.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: But you've got a kilogramme of it.

Laura: So what does that mean?

Laura: What am I doing?

Ron: You're trying to work out how much water we need with all of this.

Ron: You're doing super well.

Ron: You're doing super well.

Ron: So you've got how much 1 Mol weighs.

Laura: Got to do with a kilogramme?

Laura: Well, if 1 Mol don't rip your teeth.

Ron: I didn't.

Ron: My mouth was open.

Ron: If 1 Mol weighs 280, it's quite a simple sum to work out what a kilogramme has got to do with the mole.

Laura: So am I trying to work out how many moles in a kilogramme?

Ron: I'd say that was the logical first step, yes.

Laura: Okay, so if I do 1000 divided by 283.88, so it's three and a half moles to the kilogramme.

Ron: Nice.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: So we've got three and a half moles of P 410 there.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: So you've got the equation in front of you.

Ron: The equation is P four o ten plus six H 20.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Oh my God.

Laura: I'm floundering, Ron.

Laura: I'm floundering.

Ron: So what does that tell you about the relationship between how much P 410 you need and how much water you need?

Laura: I've got no idea.

Laura: I've genuinely got no idea.

Ron: What think about it for a bit.

Laura: I've got three and a half moles of P 410.

Ron: Think about it like a recipe.

Ron: Imagine if, like, this was a cake recipe and it was like one cup of flour plus six cups of salt, but then you had 3.5 cups of flour.

Ron: How much salt would you need to put in?

Laura: Do I need to make the water up to a kilogramme as well?

Laura: Do they both need to be a kilogramme?

Ron: No.

Ron: For every one P 410, you need six water molecules.

Laura: Do I?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: P 410 plus six H 20 equals.

Laura: How many?

Laura: I've only got one P 410, though, because that's not like two P 410.

Ron: No, you've got 3.5 moles of it.

Laura: So 21 moles of six H 20.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: For every 1 Mol of P four O ten, you need six moles of water.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So we need 21 moles of water.

Ron: How much would that weigh?

Laura: Oh, I can do that.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: 18.0 16 times six equals 108.

Laura: Let's call that.

Laura: No, I won't round it, actually.

Laura: Multiply it by 21.

Laura: Feels like a lot.

Laura: 2270.16 kilogrammes.

Ron: So 2.2 litres basically, is it?

Ron: Yeah, because that would be in grabs.

Laura: Why would that be in grammes?

Ron: Because that's how moles work.

Laura: Oh, my God, I hate this.

Laura: I don't feel dizzy in my fingers because of how out of place I feel.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So about two kilogrammes of water, which is going to be about two litres.

Ron: A bit more, then.

Laura: Sure, yeah.

Laura: About two and a quarter.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Is that helpful?

Ron: Well, I think we tested your knowledge slightly, Mark, for that.

Laura: Feels like a bit of a damp, squib end.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: To be honest, I wasn't expecting that to be quite the herculean challenge that it was.

Laura: I just didn't really know what we were doing.

Laura: All right.

Ron: I think sometimes you put this in a little box and you've written in crayon on that box science.

Ron: And you don't get what's in the box.

Ron: Even though if it wasn't in the box, you would.

Laura: I think until you said that, it didn't really occur to me that that equation meant for every one of those, I need six of something else.

Laura: I hadn't thought of it like that before.

Ron: Yeah, but that's kind of what I mean, because I feel like you're not seeing this as something actually happening, you're seeing this as something annoying that I'm telling you this is happening.

Laura: But it's not, is it?

Ron: It is, yeah.

Ron: In like, physically, literally, for every P 410 molecule, I really should have learnt, is that phosphorus oxide?

Ron: For every phosphorus oxide molecule, you need six water molecules to react with it.

Ron: That's a real thing that happens.

Laura: But to make what?

Laura: What is four H?

Ron: Three posphoric acid.

Laura: Well, I'm never going to make that.

Ron: No, you're never going to do any of this.

Ron: You're a comedian.

Laura: It's not real.

Ron: It is real.

Ron: Just because you don't do it, this is some Trumpian logic.

Ron: I got my guns and I got my beer.

Ron: Don't need none of that science.

Laura: I love that.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I find myself frustrated that you said, like, you've got a kilogramme of this go, and honestly, some shutters of panic come down and just go, what is he talking about?

Laura: Hit him.

Ron: But you worked it all out.

Ron: I didn't really prompt you that much.

Laura: Yeah, but I still don't really understand what I've worked out.

Ron: You've worked out how much water you'd need.

Laura: If I had a kilogramme of phosphorus oxide, I now know how much water I would need to make phosphoric acid.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So, for example yes, okay.

Ron: This was a reaction that I got off the internet and then I said, if you had a kilogramme, blah, blah, blah.

Ron: But if someone is working on drug trials or something, they would need to know exactly how much they need to react with something else, so that it's all used up.

Ron: Things like any kind of equation, you might not want one of the what you quite often do in science experiments is you'll just have an excess of both things.

Ron: Right.

Ron: Because then you know that even if it's not 100% efficient, you're going to get everything that you need.

Ron: There are certain reactions, and especially ones in biochemistry, where you might not want extra hanging around, because it's got to be in a population with living things.

Ron: So, yeah, you got to work out how much you need to react exactly.

Ron: With something else.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And I worked it out by breaking down the individual weight of the molecule, then whatever that molecule weighed is called 1 mol of it.

Laura: Then I worked out how many moles made a kilogramme.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Because a mole is just like that's just the number that links, sort of the molar mass and the gramme mass of it.

Ron: That's just like the multiplier to convert those.

Laura: I worked out that it was three and a half to a kilogramme, and then I worked out how much and what did I do then?

Laura: I worked out how much water made a kilogramme.

Laura: Did I do that?

Ron: No, because you worked out how many moles of water we needed.

Ron: Then you worked out how much that many moles of water would weigh.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: What?

Laura: On me.

Laura: All right, well, there we go.

Laura: They've heard the quiz now, Ron, how do you think that went?

Ron: I can't remember.

Ron: I don't know if that was the quiz.

Laura: Sorry about this episode, listeners.

Laura: We will do our best to never have to do a redo ever again.

Laura: For everyone's sake.

Laura: Just for everyone, really.

Ron: I hope you enjoyed it.

Laura: Ron is really angry with me, and if you go back in time now and listen no, it's not back in time.

Laura: No, it's next week.

Ron: If you continue on your slow trundle towards death in two weeks, you'll get to hear episode 31 and 30.

Laura: We're about to do the intro for 30.

Ron: Are we doing both?

Laura: Well, why would we do an intro for 31 and not do it for 30?

Ron: So we'd already done 30.

Ron: We haven't I haven't listened to overseas 30.

Ron: I don't know what happens.

Laura: Well, your dedication to this podcast is really waning.

Ron: What?

Laura: You're not even sitting near your microphone.

Laura: No one can hear you anyway.

Ron: I just tried to teach you what a mole is for an hour and a half.

Laura: I know what a mole is.

Laura: It's just a made up number thing that makes a gramme is that number.

Ron: Anyway, this is why we shouldn't do higher tier only content.

Laura: Why the f*** would you even try that?

Ron: Because, honestly, I thought moulds was interesting.

Ron: I thought you'd enjoy it.

Laura: Why do I know now?

Ron: I've taught you it f****** twice.

Laura: You haven't.

Laura: You've tried to it's not actually been taught.

Ron: Anyway, next week, we're going to just do Arthur Christmas.

Ron: I think of Arthur Christmas just every episode is the end of new podcast Lex Christmas Films.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Anyway, Happy New Year, listeners.

Laura: Thanks for listening.

Laura: We hope that you're getting back into real life is treating you well.

Laura: We're going to go and record the intro for next week.

Laura: Now, be prepared for grumpiness.

Laura: We love you, listeners.

Laura: Goodbye.

Ron: Get out of here.