Laura: Hello and welcome to a very merry festive edition of Lexx Education, the comedy Christmas science Christmas Pod Christmas cast, where comedian Christmas Laura Lexx tries to learn Christmas science from her Christmas brother, Ron, Christmas.
Ron: Christmas, I'm Ron.
Laura: I'm so giddy Ron.
Ron: I came up with a great alternate intro for us every Christmas episode. It's bit of a deep cut, You Are What the French call Lexx Education.
Laura: What?
Ron: From Home Alone. You are what the French called les incompetent.
Laura: Oh, yes.
Ron: Cut that out. That went down like a sack of shit.
Laura: That wasn't so much as a deep cut as, like, archaeologically dredged out.
Ron: Well, you say that actually procrastinating doing the research for this.
Ron: I was Googling Christmas movie quotes for the intro.
Ron: Went with the folks, we all loved it, and that was like number one on two lists.
Laura: But it's nothing to do with Christmas.
Ron: No, but it happens in Home Alone.
Laura: Yeah, but there's so many other better quotes from Home Alone.
Ron: Like what, though?
Laura: Merry Christmas, your filthy animals?
Ron: That's from Home Alone, too.
Laura: Kevin.
Ron: That's just his name.
Laura: No, but that's the bit.
Laura: Kevin.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That's not really a quote.
Ron: That's the character's name.
Ron: Yeah, I get that.
Ron: That's a scene.
Ron: But like him slapping his cheeks.
Ron: That's not a quote.
Laura: No, that's true.
Laura: What else is a good quote from her?
Laura: Maybe it's not very quotable.
Laura: We are the wet band.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: Maybe there is one.
Laura: Maybe you're right wrong.
Laura: Maybe you are what the French call leslie competence.
Laura: Buzz's girlfriend wuff.
Laura: That's my most quoted part of Home Alone.
Ron: Yeah, that is a good one.
Ron: To be fair.
Laura: I'm just as Father Christmas.
Ron: Are you wearing that horrible nightlon sand?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: That I got from Aster in bedminster that time when you lived in Bristol.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And I've put a sand hat over the top of the sandy.
Ron: Kind of a Professor Quirrel vibe going on.
Laura: I'd love to be Professor Quirrel.
Ron: Yeah, dead in the first round.
Laura: Great legend.
Ron: And he's got a cool lizard.
Laura: A lizard in the film?
Ron: Yeah, he's holding an iguana in one scene.
Laura: I don't really remember the films that much.
Laura: I never liked them, so I never paid them much attention because there was.
Ron: Like a beautiful setting that was really well made.
Ron: Just everything happening in it was just dolptious.
Laura: Yeah, it was.
Laura: They're just bad and floppy and I never particularly like child actors.
Laura: And as much as I love what the cast have gone on to do, I like old Danny Rad in stuff now.
Laura: Emmy Watts killing it, rupee Grinds he's.
Ron: Alleged owns in an ice cream van, married to the girl from Angus thongs and perfect Snogging.
Laura: He's living his best life, but as child actors.
Laura: Not my faith.
Ron: Not brilliant.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So it's Christmas.
Laura: So what have you got for us today, Professor Ronx?
Ron: Today?
Ron: So we were going to do a triple science view on reindeer flight.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: What do you mean?
Laura: We were going to I thought we were.
Ron: Well, we're just not going to do triple science.
Laura: No chemistry.
Ron: No physics either.
Laura: Those reindeers, they've got no sexy chemistry between them.
Laura: Oh, Vixen, do you want to kiss?
Laura: No, I don't.
Laura: Dancer and the sketch.
Laura: We've got no chemistry.
Laura: And that because we've got no chemistry.
Laura: There will be no physics either.
Laura: Physics meaning sex.
Laura: Physics.
Laura: Giddy.
Ron: That was bad, Laura.
Laura: Yeah, because there was no chemistry.
Laura: Bell Ringing.
Ron: I was thinking, it's the end of term.
Laura: Yeah, it is.
Ron: We only like, I'm not coming back.
Laura: For the next term.
Laura: Pocket all, I'm just going to play Truant after the new year.
Laura: I'm not coming back.
Laura: And every lesson you can do the register and you'll say, Laura and I won't be there.
Laura: And you'll just have to go through the motions like a sad grey boy.
Laura: Then you'll get fired.
Ron: No one would listen.
Laura: I wonder, do you think people would listen for a little while if it.
Ron: Was just me sadly explaining science alone to myself?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And talking about how much you miss me.
Laura: I'll still do the editing and put them up and everything.
Laura: I'm just not coming to the lessons anymore.
Laura: But each day at the beginning of the lesson, you can read out a note from my parent telling you why I'm not there.
Laura: Actually, it'll be from Mackie.
Laura: She'll write to you.
Laura: Sora's got a tummy ache and she's not coming to school.
Laura: Skiddy.
Laura: Skiddy.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So it's the end of term.
Ron: We only really like biology anyway.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Let's just have a bit of fun.
Ron: And also, I spent so much of the last episode just running through equations.
Ron: I didn't think anyone would want me to do that again.
Laura: That's our favourite bit.
Laura: Wrong.
Ron: So what we're going to do is we are going to discuss reindeer flight.
Laura: Laura, I'm listening.
Ron: What are you playing with?
Laura: Nothing.
Laura: I've not got a thing in my hand.
Ron: You playing with your nail bar.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: You are doing that.
Laura: I wasn't really playing with it.
Ron: You were gazing at it like a magpie.
Laura: We're still listening.
Ron: Right, so we're going to come at it from a speculative evolution point.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: What would we have to make f*** a reindeer to get it to fly?
Ron: No, what would we have to do to a population of reindeer to get them to fly?
Laura: I see.
Laura: How much money do we have to offer those bastards?
Ron: So, first off, we'll set the scene.
Ron: We'll just talk a little bit about how evolution works.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: What are you reading?
Laura: Nothing.
Laura: I'm looking at you intently.
Ron: Just had a very vacant expression.
Laura: Go back and focus.
Laura: They just did that phasing out thing.
Laura: It's because of this eye twitch.
Laura: I can't get rid of my eye twitch, Ron.
Ron: I'm sorry.
Laura: That's okay.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You got kind of the Eddie from The Lion King.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I'm sitting here in my log cabin dressed as Santa though.
Ron: Wonderful.
Laura: We decided we were going to get dressed up festive for this.
Laura: Ron's just wrapped some red tape round his head and I have built a log cabin single handedly and dressed up as basically one and a half Santas.
Ron: You gave me seven minutes to prepare after I'd spent an hour and a half preparing the lesson.
Laura: But you should have just known.
Laura: You should have just felt vibes.
Ron: I own a Christmas jumper.
Ron: I barely own Christmas decorations.
Laura: When are you going to grow up?
Ron: I'm growing town.
Laura: You're just living a sad, grey life.
Laura: Get on with board with being giddy.
Ron: No, shut up.
Ron: My laptop signed out because we've been giddy for so long.
Laura: We're so giddy.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So evolution is driven by what are you come on, I'm listening.
Laura: Just finish a f****** sentence.
Laura: I've got nothing to latch on to at the moment.
Ron: So evolution is driven by many things, but at its core, it's driven by what's known as a selective pressure.
Ron: Okay?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: So lots of people want to f*** me because I'm fun and juicy, so if I have babies, they would be fun and juicy, whereas people who are not fun and juicy do not have babies and they die and that doesn't get selected.
Laura: That's basically Darwin in a nutshell.
Laura: Like, if you're a turtle and you've got a long I don't know what would make a turtle better.
Laura: You've got a long neck so you can get to food that other turtles can't get to, and then you've got loads more protein in you because of your long turtling neck, and then you end up having an extra breeding season on other turtles, and then all your babies get that long neck and then they survive.
Laura: And then eventually turtles just have a long neck.
Ron: That actually was a very good description.
Laura: That's basically what I was saying about me.
Ron: It was just weird what you were saying before.
Ron: It was impenetrably weird.
Laura: But you know what's not impenetrable fun?
Laura: Juicy girls.
Ron: So selective pressures can be carrots and they can be sticks.
Ron: If you know that expression.
Laura: I've heard of carrots and sticks.
Ron: A carrot is something that leads you on.
Ron: A stick is something that pushes you.
Laura: Who would you push with a stick?
Ron: Because you get hit by the stick, so you move away.
Laura: Oh, I see.
Ron: I thought you were sticks are negative.
Ron: Carrots are good.
Laura: Poor sticks.
Laura: I quite like a stick.
Laura: I wonder what you'd use if it was dogs, because they like sticks.
Laura: So sticks would be the positive.
Laura: And what would they don't like?
Ron: Carrots.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: You'd have to reverse this for dogs, wouldn't you?
Ron: But luckily we're talking about reindeers.
Laura: So you're a dog having a listen, imagine what Ron saying in the reverse direction.
Ron: So what you are talking about there with the where are you?
Laura: What are you carrying juiciness with?
Ron: With the turtle with the sexy long neck?
Ron: Yeah, that would be a carrot wouldn't it?
Ron: I have a nice long neck, I can get more food.
Ron: That is a selective pressure of my species to get longer necks so they can get more food.
Ron: Can you think of a selective pressure that would be a stick?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Like, say the turtle has a very thin shell, then everything any other turtle said that was negative would really get to that turtle and it would impair its self esteem.
Laura: And then the turtle wouldn't really be very outgoing and probably wouldn't breed very much because it was nervous to put itself out there.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I mean, you're really putting yourself into these turtles, aren't you?
Laura: I'd love a longer neck.
Laura: No.
Laura: Let's say a turtle did have a soft shell, though.
Laura: There's that bit, isn't there?
Laura: Because turtles are born up the beach and then they have to do that night run down to the sea and all the gulls start getting them.
Laura: So if you've got a soft, thin shell, you're going to get crunched and munched.
Laura: Never even made it to the sea.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So getting food and water, that's probably the biggest encompassing carrot there is.
Ron: Predation is probably the biggest stick that there is trying to not die.
Laura: Yes, Ron.
Ron: The other thing that we need to understand is that survival of the fattest happens at a population level, not at an individual level.
Ron: Stop it, you're going to choke.
Laura: What do you mean, at a population level?
Laura: I've got a curvy griff on my lips.
Ron: Yeah, put it down.
Ron: Sit on your hands.
Laura: I'm so giddy.
Ron: I know.
Laura: What do you mean, at a population level?
Laura: Like one long neck does not a turtle make.
Laura: You need eight turtles with long necks to start making a difference?
Ron: No.
Ron: So that one turtle.
Laura: Is that how you make a new species?
Laura: What, like that turtle might wander off and become a kangaroo because it's developed?
Laura: That family went weird?
Ron: Well, no, because you need more than one, which is why I'm saying it's about populations other than individuals.
Laura: Well, that's what I just said.
Ron: No, you said the one with the long neck goes away and becomes a kangaroo.
Laura: Yes, I said that because I said one long neck does not a turtle make.
Laura: So it doesn't affect the whole turtle population?
Ron: Well, no, because again, I'm saying it happens at a population level.
Ron: It does affect the whole population.
Laura: Wait, I don't know what you're talking about.
Ron: No, because you keep on interrupting me with a third of the way into the centre.
Laura: It's not interrupting.
Laura: I'm joining in to see if I already know.
Laura: And in this case, for once, I didn't know.
Ron: So let's take our long necked turtle.
Ron: Oddly, the example that I had written down, I was going to talk about giraffes, but we can talk about turtles with long legs.
Laura: Giraffes fight with their necks, don't they?
Laura: What a good episode of Attenborough.
Ron: That was good.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: So, Doof.
Laura: Those of us, them fighting.
Laura: If you're remembering it, that is exactly what it sounded like.
Laura: Doof.
Ron: So the turtle with the long neck.
Laura: Eats turtle with the long neck.
Laura: That sounds like some sort of 80s song, doesn't it?
Laura: And it's actually about a business lady.
Ron: The turtle with the long neck eats more food, survives, passes on its jeans.
Ron: The long neck genes are now in the gene pool.
Ron: The gene pool has become fitter.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: If there was another group of turtles in a different pond and they don't have this long neck gene, the long necked turtles are fitter than the other ones.
Ron: You see, it happens at a group level because their genes disseminate through the group.
Laura: When you say pool, do you mean like a family or are they in a different pond?
Ron: I did say pool twice there in two different contexts and I'm sorry for that.
Ron: A gene pool is a thing.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: A water pool is a thing.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Which one do you mean?
Ron: I used it in both contexts most.
Laura: So what's happening?
Laura: Some turtles are in a different pond and can't get into s******* the long neckers.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So they don't have the long neck gene.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So what does that mean for evolution?
Laura: Are they turning into kangaroos now?
Ron: What I'm saying is just don't think about individual turtles.
Ron: Don't think about one chad turtle that has a long neck.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Think about the group of turtles that now have a tendency for long necks.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I'll just think about them for a while.
Ron: No, we're just saying this.
Ron: We're just talking about evolution.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I thought I'd already explained evolution like 20 minutes ago.
Ron: Well, no, because for example, in the example that you gave, you were talking about you in your loose ways.
Ron: It's not about just one individual.
Ron: It's about the population.
Laura: Yeah, but then what I'm saying is my sexy, juicy kids, they would be part of the gene pool.
Laura: Now.
Ron: You'Re saying yeah.
Ron: Following it up.
Laura: How is me being funny and juicy any different to a turtle with a long neck?
Ron: It's not, because as I'm saying, it's not about the turtle with the long neck.
Ron: It's about the population of turtles.
Ron: Are you hearing me, Laura?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: I think I'm saying the same thing.
Ron: No, you're not.
Ron: You keep on saying yeah and then saying a different thing.
Laura: No, what is different?
Laura: I'm saying I'm a funny, juicy lady.
Ron: There we go.
Laura: Right, hang on.
Laura: But I'm like the original turtle that had a slightly longer neck.
Laura: Again, just pushing a tendency because that's got to come from somewhere on.
Laura: It's a chicken and an egg.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: It happens to the population.
Laura: Yeah, but how does the population get made?
Laura: By one doing the banging.
Ron: No, you keep saying yeah and then going back to the individual.
Ron: It's not about the individual.
Laura: It has to be because the population is made up of individuals.
Ron: Yes, but you have a population of.
Laura: Oh, you just said yes and then you went back to the thing you weren't thinking about.
Laura: That's why.
Ron: Right.
Ron: So you've got, like, this population of turtles or you've got the population of, like, f****** munchkins or wherever you are.
Ron: Right.
Ron: You're not the only one in this.
Ron: Okay?
Ron: All of the munchkins in your group are on a bell curve of sluttiness.
Ron: You just happen to be at the top end.
Ron: So, yes, sure, you're at top of the tree.
Ron: Great top s******.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: But everyone on there is also contributing and pushing it on.
Ron: There will be someone that is just like one rung down from you.
Ron: They will also disseminate their genes.
Ron: A selective pressure works on the group and pushes the whole population that way.
Ron: It's not about the individual.
Ron: Same with long necks.
Ron: There's one turtle that has the longest neck, and I'll give you that.
Ron: They're out there in the sea.
Ron: There is a turtle munching on Kelp going around s******* all the turtle ladies or men having a great time.
Ron: That turtle doesn't even know that's mind blowing.
Ron: Told the longest neck.
Ron: But there is a turtle with the second longest neck and third longest neck.
Ron: And if there is a selective pressure making long necks good, they are all contributing to that.
Laura: Yeah, especially that one.
Laura: You get so riled up over the weirdest things, Ron.
Ron: No, I don't.
Laura: You're a furious little boy.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: This is meant to be our Christmas fun.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Well, okay, let's move on to reindeer.
Laura: All right?
Ron: How do we get along next?
Ron: How do we get reindeer to fly?
Laura: We put lots of tigers on the floor.
Ron: Well, we'll come back to that later.
Ron: There are a few things that we need to do before a rainder can fly.
Ron: Can you think?
Laura: These things we all need to believe, because that is what the magic runs on christmas magic.
Ron: You think of any changes that would need to happen to a reindeer to get it to be able to fly?
Laura: Wings.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Wings are some kind of sail, like a flying squirrel.
Ron: Wings is one.
Ron: Put your pen down.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Because you're being distracting with it.
Laura: I'm just talking to you.
Ron: You had a pen moustache and you know it.
Laura: But I still said the right answer.
Ron: So it needs to develop wings.
Ron: But work that back a step.
Ron: What does it need to do before it can develop wings?
Laura: Wants to develop wings.
Ron: No, nothing in evolution wants to do anything.
Laura: I hate it when you make it not about feelings.
Laura: Radioactivity.
Laura: No need to.
Laura: Need to.
Laura: Want to fly?
Ron: No, work it back before it can have wings.
Ron: What does it need before that?
Laura: Arms.
Laura: Shoulders, head, shoulders.
Laura: Knees and toes.
Laura: Knees and days.
Ron: Well, it's already got front legs, hasn't it?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Needs middle legs.
Ron: No, but it's not just going to grow two new limbs, is it?
Ron: Well, think about birds or bats.
Ron: Have they grown their wings out of the sides?
Ron: Of their bodies and just their old limbs fell off.
Laura: What do you mean they were old limbs?
Ron: You know, like a bat before it was a bat.
Ron: Just looked like a rat or something.
Ron: It was like little trees.
Laura: What?
Ron: Where do you think bats came from?
Laura: They're back grandparents.
Ron: Where do you think those bats came from?
Laura: Oh, f****** long neck turtles, probably, but not one turtle.
Laura: All the turtles pulled together and bought a bat.
Ron: What are you talking about?
Laura: I don't know what you mean.
Laura: Like a bat used to be a deer?
Ron: No, a bat used to be something like a flying fox.
Ron: And a flying fox used to be like something like a little tree monkey thing.
Laura: How do you know that?
Laura: Everything didn't have wings.
Laura: And some things have just developed legs.
Ron: The fossil record and simple, simple logic.
Laura: We mean simple, simple logic.
Laura: There's way more space in the sky than on the ground.
Ron: Powered flight has only been developed by four groups of things.
Ron: It's not very common.
Laura: What's that, then?
Laura: US?
Ron: No, biologically insects.
Ron: Pterosaurs, birds.
Laura: Bats are pterosaurs.
Laura: Flying dinosaur pterodactyl?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: What was the question?
Laura: So do they have to turn layer antlers into wings?
Ron: No.
Laura: Well, drop my pen.
Ron: What were birds before they were birds?
Laura: Mice?
Ron: No, they were dinosaurs.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: They were like little velociraptor looking things.
Laura: Yeah, because they think dinosaurs are feathery, don't they?
Ron: They know dinosaurs were feathery.
Laura: They can't know anything.
Laura: Everything's a theory.
Ron: That's not true.
Laura: Okay, look at these socks I've just found.
Ron: Yes, they're very good.
Ron: Laura.
Laura: Ron, you're not being jingle jangly Christmas?
Laura: No, not you see the sleigh bells ringing?
Laura: Ding ding ding ding.
Ron: Okay, so birds used to be dinosaurs, right?
Laura: They used to look a bit brilliant, see?
Ron: How am I supposed to be jingly jangly Christmas when you were being confrontational like that?
Laura: That wasn't confrontational.
Laura: I was agreeing with you.
Ron: You were brilliant.
Laura: Sorry, tone police.
Ron: So birds used to be dinosaurs.
Ron: They used to look a little bit like a velociraptor.
Ron: A velociraptor?
Ron: I had to build shrimpy arms like.
Laura: A-T-I got a big head, little arm.
Ron: Big head and little arms.
Laura: What a great film.
Ron: So those little arms evolved into wings.
Laura: Why?
Ron: So that it could fly.
Laura: Okay, how did that happen, then?
Ron: What do you mean?
Laura: So I understand how a long neck gets you a long neck.
Laura: How does a little funny little arm become a wing over time?
Ron: So they had feathers already?
Ron: Feathers are just modified scales.
Ron: Feathers were used for signalling and warmth and a bunch of things.
Laura: They had indicators.
Ron: Then.
Ron: What you need is you need a selective pressure.
Ron: You need a reason for this to be advantageous to the creature.
Ron: The way that we think that it worked with bats was like you start jumping from tree to tree, then you start gliding from tree to tree, then you start flying.
Ron: So it's probably something like that.
Laura: Wow.
Ron: So it's probably like these little things we're climbing up in trees, maybe hunting bugs or something.
Ron: Then either maybe they needed to get in between trees to avoid predators, or it's just more efficient to jump from tree to tree rather than climb down and climb back up again.
Ron: So then they start jumping from tree to tree, and then the ones that can go further in between trees are more successful.
Ron: They can do this because they can glide, and it's like the shape of their body is aerodynamic enough that they glide over there.
Ron: They start gliding further and further, then one of them start like a population.
Laura: Not one of them to run.
Laura: You caught yourself there, did you?
Laura: You said one of them, and then.
Ron: You were like then they start maybe flapping in that game all at the.
Laura: Same time, though, because it's never about one.
Ron: Why are you fighting me on this?
Laura: I'm not fighting you.
Laura: I'm bringing Christmas cheer.
Ron: It's not Christmas cheer to undermine me like this.
Laura: Well, as I sit quietly, you tell me off of looking at a pen, and if I say brilliant, you tell me off for saying brilliant too forcefully.
Laura: I don't know how to join in with you anymore.
Laura: Grinchy's claws.
Ron: You're doing the edit on this one, and I think you're going to do that, and I think you're going to have a long look at yourself afterwards, because you're not being that nice.
Laura: I am.
Laura: I was simply showing you there that I have learned.
Laura: It's never about the long necked individual, I guess about stumpy neck group.
Laura: When you learn an evolution, it's about everyone in the stumpy group.
Ron: My point being that evolutionarily evolution kind of finds the easiest, most efficient way to do things.
Ron: Right.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: What's more efficient?
Ron: Adapting an existing arm to be a wing or sprouting a wing from nowhere?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Adapting the existing arm.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Okay, so reindeer are going to do this with their legs, then?
Laura: Presumably.
Laura: They're four legs.
Laura: God.
Laura: Reindeer are going to have to get bipedal horrific.
Ron: That's what I said as well.
Ron: We're going to have to have bipedal reindeer.
Laura: This is very much changing the Christmas game, isn't it?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Then there's one last thing that they would need to do before they would be able to fly.
Ron: Think about a reindeer and think about a bird.
Ron: What's, like, the difference between them?
Laura: Well, if a Bipedal reindeer, the back legs are going to have to come forward a little bit to steady them.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: We'd need a balancing thing.
Ron: But I think just in general, birds are trying to nod you into saying this without just saying it myself.
Laura: They've got hollow bones.
Ron: Why do they?
Laura: Lighter.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Much lighter.
Ron: Reindeer far too heavy to fly.
Laura: But no, don't say that.
Laura: I very nearly just went dragons.
Ron: Well, I mean, to be fair, some of the pterosaurs that existed were huge.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Like, if they had big enough wings, surely they could get going, but it would take so much energy.
Laura: Why would that ever be easier?
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: That's kind of the thing.
Laura: The biggest going to have to get smaller or lighter than so far, the Christmas, so he's going to have to be in miniature or he's just going.
Ron: To have to have loads of them running two legged and plastic.
Ron: I mean, some of the pterosaurs that existed, there was one that was like 40ft long.
Ron: There were some really huge ones.
Ron: I don't know how much they weighed, though.
Ron: This one had a 1.5 metre long head.
Ron: That's crazy.
Laura: Maybe reindeer could develop when you play Mario Kart and you get that, like, parasail that helps you.
Laura: Maybe reindeer could evolve one of those between their antlers.
Ron: That would be gliding, though.
Laura: We're talking about nobody that might help with their flight.
Ron: Yeah, that might then come into something.
Ron: Maybe it would start spinning on they could be a helicopter reindeer, like those.
Laura: Little tiny schoolboy hats with fellows like that, but reindeer style.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So I ran the numbers.
Ron: An adult male reindeer weighs about on the upper end of the average scale, 180 kilogrammes.
Laura: Do you know what that is in stone?
Laura: I can't picture 180 kilogrammes.
Ron: Let me find out.
Ron: It is 28 and a half stone.
Laura: Oh, yeah, that's heavy.
Ron: Yeah, that is heavy.
Laura: I've met reindeer in real life and they're so lovely.
Ron: I don't think you've told this story on the podcast before.
Laura: Have I not?
Ron: No, you told it on just films and that.
Ron: But that's not our podcast.
Laura: Yeah, no, I live I had a job when I was younger, working in Finland, working in Asantas Grotto for about three months or so.
Laura: And the reindeer were magnificent, the huskies.
Laura: Much smaller than you'd expect them to be, like actual dog sled huskies don't look a bit like you're, like wolf type husky.
Laura: They're like real small, powerful, stinky, wonderful little things.
Laura: And they were so strong, these dogs.
Laura: They really didn't look like anything particularly special.
Laura: They just looked like working dogs.
Laura: And then me and my friend Rosie, we're on, like, a little she sat down on a sled and I'm stood on the back and then so I must have weighed maybe eight stone.
Laura: Eight and a half stone.
Laura: We were only allowed and Rosie is probably similar, we were only allowed, I think, two dogs pulling us, because anything more than that, I would not have been a heavy enough weight on the break to stop them.
Laura: And you're like, they're not that much bigger.
Laura: They were smaller than a collie, I think, to look at, like but they're so powerful.
Laura: It was amazing.
Ron: There's cool.
Laura: But here's a fun Christmas fact, Ron.
Laura: Male reindeer lose their antlers in the winter.
Laura: So whenever you see Santa slaven pulled by reindeer with big antlers, that's ladies.
Ron: I knew that actually, in my reading today, I was looking into stuff.
Ron: Apparently, reindeer are, like, the only creature like this that the females regularly do grow endless.
Laura: Why do the females grow them?
Laura: Is it to pretend they're not females?
Ron: I honestly don't know.
Laura: Because that feels like a lot of energy to grow antlers all the time and carry them around if you're not going to use them for fighting or anything.
Laura: Or maybe do they show fertility in female reindeers?
Ron: It could be with stuff like this, what you sometimes get is the genes to grow the antlers are there in all creatures, like men with nipples.
Ron: Men with nipples, exactly.
Ron: For example, you've got within you the genes that you would need to grow a p****.
Ron: I've got the genes that I would need to grow female stuff if I needed to as well.
Ron: But what changes is that the chemical signals that turn genes on and off in your development are different.
Ron: So what it could be is that because it's all in there, some freak mutation has happened to female reindeer and now their antler gene is turned on, so they just could be a defendant.
Laura: I found one article that says that they will sometimes fight with their antlers to defend food patches, which is why they retain them through the winter when food is more scarce and they might have to do more fighting, whereas the men use them to fight for ladies.
Laura: So they do that in the spring.
Ron: Yeah, but like you say, it's a lot of effort to grow things like antlers, but when it comes to sexual competition, quite often things being a huge chore are the reason that they've done it like that.
Ron: When you see males of a species with these huge horns or something that are really impractical, what that means is that that male is so fit and strong that despite the fact it's grown this huge handicap on its head, it has still survived to sexual maturity.
Ron: So having babies with that one is good.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay, that makes sense anyhow that way.
Laura: I fancy The Rock so much because he's huge, like, he's a millionaire, but he still has loads of time to be in the gym.
Ron: How do those things not complain?
Ron: He's a millionaire, so he's got loads of time.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So, wait, I also don't understand what this could mean, going to the gym.
Laura: Because having lots of food and stuff is the animal equivalent of being a millionaire.
Laura: No, it would be if the Rock was swollen a millionaire and had, like, a wheelbarrow stuck to his b***.
Laura: Exactly.
Ron: There's nothing dragging him down.
Laura: No.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I do love the rock, though.
Ron: He seems like a nice guy.
Laura: He does, doesn't he?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: I've never really seen anything with him in what?
Ron: Really can't think of a film I've.
Laura: Seen with him in Jumanji is good.
Ron: Haven't seen it.
Laura: Moana?
Ron: Haven't seen it.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: I haven't watched a Disney film in your life five years.
Laura: You just watch art films, don't you?
Laura: About.
Laura: Black and white people.
Ron: I watched the same three sitcoms that I've seen a hundred times.
Ron: Like a bane.
Ron: But.
Laura: Yeah, I watch Moana.
Laura: It's really good.
Ron: I probably won't.
Ron: So, adult male reindeer can reach 180 kilogrammes easily.
Ron: Right.
Ron: So I worked out that they would need a wingspan of six metres to fly at their current metres.
Laura: Hang on, I was thinking feet then.
Laura: That's like 18ft.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Bloody h***, Harry.
Ron: Yeah, because it was quite interesting working that out, actually, because it's all about something called wing load, which is basically about the amount of weight you can get per square metre of wing.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: So, yeah, that's how you work out how big something's wings would need to be.
Ron: What are you doing?
Laura: I think I'm just listening.
Ron: It really looks like you were reading something, Ron.
Laura: There's nothing here to read, babe.
Laura: I've shut all my tabs.
Ron: Wow.
Laura: I'll be honest, my right hand is slightly playing with this Kirby grip, but not to an extent that it's distracting me.
Ron: Lovely.
Ron: Right, okay, so our reindeer need to get small.
Ron: We need to isolate them.
Laura: Why do they need to get small?
Ron: So that they're lighter, so they can fly.
Laura: But I thought you just worked out how much wing they'd need to fly.
Laura: If they were this size, they would.
Ron: Need the biggest wingspan of any flying creature ever.
Laura: I think it's worth it, though.
Laura: I see what you're saying.
Laura: It's not practical.
Laura: All right, so we're going to get small.
Ron: We're going to get small and we need to isolate them.
Ron: Right?
Laura: Oh, I know how to get them small.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: We need to grow some thick jungle around where they live so that they can't get through trees easily if they're big.
Ron: Yeah, that would be one way of doing it.
Ron: Especially with the Atlers.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I think that's why the giant deer died out.
Laura: That giant, giant elk thing couldn't get through the trees.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: That would be one way to do it.
Ron: But as I say, we need to isolate them as well.
Laura: Oh, I see.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Rising sea levels.
Laura: Maybe that will cut off a little archipelago in Lapland.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: So what we're going to do is there is something in evolution called foster's rule, right?
Laura: Foster's rule, yes, it does.
Laura: And forex ain't bad either.
Ron: Very nice.
Laura: Crikey mate.
Laura: Knew that that kangaroo with a long neck would come back at some point.
Ron: That's a good callback.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So foster's rule of evolution says that species will get bigger or smaller depending on resource availability.
Ron: Right.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: This is also known as the island effect, because things on islands tend to get small.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And weird like, Madagascar isn't.
Laura: Like, Madagascar has just got a billion lemurs and nobody was looking, and then one day, people got to Madagascar.
Laura: What the f***'s happened here?
Laura: It's not like anywhere else.
Ron: I'm not actually sure if the island effect particularly applies to Madagascar, because Madagascar is huge.
Laura: They do have unique stuff, don't they?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: But I don't think it's necessarily gotten really small, because it has.
Ron: I see hundreds of miles of rainforest before we got our hands on it.
Ron: So one of the most famous examples of this is the island of Floors in Indonesia.
Laura: Oh, I know.
Laura: That was discovered by Escher.
Ron: Lost me on that one.
Laura: The island of Floors.
Laura: Lots of different floors.
Laura: And like an Escher painting, buddham Tish.
Ron: Can all be winners.
Laura: Remember that Australian Vidanta.
Laura: Merry Christmas every week.
Ron: We haven't done any of our segments this time.
Laura: Oh, no.
Laura: Laura okay, Ron, what's your favourite thing to burp on Boxing Day?
Ron: Bubble and squeak.
Laura: Is that your favourite repercussion?
Laura: Mine's red cabbage.
Ron: No, I don't enjoy burps.
Ron: I think they're dirty.
Laura: I referred to Apu earlier as a solid guff.
Laura: Don't got quite mad at me.
Ron: Yeah, he doesn't like ARPU chair.
Laura: No, he doesn't.
Ron: Anyway, the island of Flores is in Indonesia.
Ron: It's actually in the same island chain as Komodo.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And what's really interesting about this place is that there were, before the arrival of H*** sapiens, modern humans, the species that we are.
Laura: I knew that.
Laura: I love that.
Laura: Modern humans.
Laura: That's us.
Laura: Dadoi.
Laura: I'm learning so much today.
Laura: I thought I was a turtle, but a juicy folly turtle.
Ron: You didn't know birds came from dinosaurs or like, bats came from rats.
Laura: I don't think the average person knows that bats come from rats.
Ron: What else would they come from?
Laura: The little flying mammals, stuff like that.
Laura: But literally anywhere, probably.
Laura: Couldn't they?
Ron: Well, no.
Ron: Just apply some thought to it.
Laura: Yeah, but you're literally telling me now that we're going to turn a reindeer into a frog fire, putting it on an island.
Ron: We're not turning it into a frog.
Laura: No, but do you know what I mean?
Laura: Oh.
Ron: Anyway, yeah.
Ron: So before modern humans got there, it was inhabited by Homophoen florenziansis, which was literally just like real life hobbits.
Laura: What?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They were three and a half feet tall, a metre tall for our Americans.
Ron: And yeah, they were just tiny humans that lived on this island.
Ron: And because they were on the island, their scarce resources they got really diddy.
Laura: Oh, when did they die out?
Ron: About 50,000 years ago.
Laura: Oh, quite a long time ago.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I had to be sad about that one.
Ron: They'd be a bit sad.
Ron: They might have been cute.
Ron: They had the brain size of about a chimpanzee, so they probably wouldn't have been as smart as us.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: They're also on this island, they had pygmy elephants.
Ron: Side note, it's got nothing to do with this.
Ron: They don't live in an island.
Ron: But did you know that pygmy hippos are a thing?
Laura: Yes, I did, actually, and they are stupidly cute.
Laura: Why did they become pygmy?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: What I've done to my glasses.
Ron: Yes, it's very good.
Laura: Like a turkey Post it notes over them and made them all frilly.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Why does the lack of resources lead to things getting smaller?
Laura: Because you need a smaller body.
Laura: Because you need less to energise.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So it obviously takes a lot of energy to grow a big body.
Ron: But if you just keep growing big bodies and you keep on having that need for resources, whereas if the whole population gets smaller, then the whole population needs more food and then has a higher chance of survival.
Ron: So by becoming smaller, your population has become fitter.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Like me.
Laura: I'm small.
Ron: Exactly.
Laura: I'm going to live longer.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: We've got the stick of starvation and the carrot of food abundance.
Ron: They're going to make our reindeer small.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: We're going to take our reindeer and we've thrown them on this island.
Ron: We'll leave them a million years, we'll come back pygmy reindeer.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Pygmy reindeer.
Laura: But have we made them bipedal yet?
Laura: No, that's what we're about to do.
Ron: That so now we need our reindeers to become bipedal.
Ron: This frees up their front legs to become wings.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: What selective pressures do you think we could apply to our reindeer to get them to want to be bipedal?
Laura: That's a tricky one, that.
Laura: I can't remember why humans went bipedal.
Laura: Was it for speed?
Laura: Are we faster upright than we were on all fours?
Laura: Or is it the opposite?
Laura: I can't remember which way round that goes.
Ron: We might be faster.
Ron: Finally.
Ron: Walking like a human does is incredibly efficient.
Ron: But I think the reason that humans did it is because of the environment that they were in, which I think that the thinking is that you've got, like, chimps and last common ancestor with all of these things living in jungles and in the trees.
Ron: I think the logic is that H*** sapiens were the ones that our ancestors were the ones that started going out into the plains.
Ron: So you're in the plains, you might be in long grass.
Ron: If you're on all fours, you can't see anything.
Ron: And even if you're not in long grass, if you're stood upright, you can see further and spot predators better.
Laura: So you might want to maybe put their food up high.
Ron: Yes, that's one of the ones I got.
Laura: But obviously you then need a reason for them to go up to get it, rather than involve long necks like Giraffes did.
Ron: Well, I think we might have already sold that one because we have this selective pressure for them to remain small.
Laura: Oh, that's true.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So they might not want to grow longer necks.
Ron: It might be more efficient for them to just hop up and there are some antelope that do this already.
Ron: Stanley.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I was going to say, I can picture, like, things like that up on their hind legs and, like, dogs will go up on their hind legs to get things.
Ron: Exactly.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So it's not beyond the realms to think that they would maybe we want a bigger lung capacity if they stand upright.
Ron: Explain.
Laura: It's just that's one thing I know about humans is that our entire respiration I know that.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: But we're doing birds, babe.
Ron: We're doing birds.
Ron: We're trying to turn reindeers into humans.
Ron: Trying to turn them into birds.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I was trying to make them into, like, reindeer people.
Laura: No.
Laura: Okay, so birds.
Ron: What we need to do kind of here is connect the dots between them standing like that to just grab some food and them staying like that.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Maybe they're trying to eat a nut, right?
Ron: Sure.
Laura: But on the floor, there's lots of rats, so if they get the nut out of the tree and put it on the floor, the rats will get it.
Laura: So they need to eat it while it's also in the tree.
Laura: So they need to stay upright to eat it out of the tree.
Ron: I mean, carpet the floor in rats.
Laura: Maybe this feels like, you know, in your place, don't, like, theme hospital, and there's, like, a choice of what do you do next?
Laura: Do you fill the place with rats?
Laura: I'd learn to fly if the whole floor was covered in rats.
Ron: So I think probably what might be a better thing than a rat carpet is you might persuade them to remain on all IP for longer if there was something that they needed to manipulate with their front legs.
Laura: Yeah, they got hoofs.
Laura: What are you going to do with a hoof now?
Ron: The hoof the hoof is problematic.
Ron: I've largely ignored the hoof.
Laura: Hang on, though.
Laura: Hang on with the hoof, though.
Laura: Hoofs are something like because there's two types of hoof, aren't there?
Laura: And, like, if you've got some deer type things have that, like, double hoof foot, and some have just the solid hoof.
Laura: What causes is it the lighter the animal, the more flexi the hoof is.
Ron: Probably be to do with the terrain that they're walking on?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: So if we change the terrain, they might get increasingly more flexible hooves that then they can use to get this nut open out of the sight of the rapidly horrible island that we're creating here.
Ron: Let's have a look at hoof evolution.
Laura: Yeah, there's something I've seen it at the natural history museum, where there's one exhibition where you look at how the hoof moves as it hits the floor, like how pressure goes through it.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: So it says here, hooves and long legs help horses run, because I think horses have the ultimate hard hoove, right?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So that's what we're trying to avoid.
Ron: Hooves and long legs help horses run further and faster on the open prairie, helping them flee from predators and find fresh grass for grazing in the forest where the ground is softer.
Ron: Many horses retained three toes.
Laura: So we do want a forest.
Laura: This forest is going to be helping us, a slushy, rat filled forest.
Ron: So we want the forest.
Ron: The ground is covered in rats.
Ron: That's really soft.
Ron: Rats are soft.
Ron: So that's going to de incentivize hooves anyway, so that's good.
Ron: So we've solved our own problem there.
Ron: The hooves are going to naturally melt away in a pool of rat.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: They're going to become more tow like.
Laura: And then at the point where we stood up in a tree trying to crack open wood louse to eat it, the front hooves are a little bit more dexterous.
Laura: Hello.
Ron: Nawki Christmas turkey.
Laura: Put her back down and try and take another screenshot.
Ron: Can you hear her purring?
Laura: No.
Laura: Yaaki.
Ron: Can you hear her now?
Laura: Yes, I can.
Laura: Now?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: All right, well, that's magic.
Ron: That's one for the socials.
Ron: Laura, what's your favourite Christmas idea?
Laura: It's board games at about 08:00 p.m., when Mum and dad have lost all interest in us being home for Christmas.
Ron: Yeah, that's when the cool kids hang out.
Laura: What's yours?
Ron: My favourite Christmas idea is probably tea towns, meaning shepherds.
Laura: Do you think they still do that or are we a bit more culturally sensitive now?
Ron: Yeah, I don't know.
Ron: Probably gone the other way.
Ron: Probably got some black face and stuff happening.
Laura: The world is a dung heap.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Right, okay, so we've got just to clarify, then.
Laura: We've got an island.
Ron: I think I've got it.
Ron: Okay, right, here's what we wait, you.
Laura: Didn'T have this before we started.
Laura: You're working this out, too.
Ron: I've got on the road trip that we're going on.
Ron: I've circled the big cities, but, yeah, we're filling it in as we go.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: All right, cool.
Ron: I think I've got it.
Ron: Right, so rats everywhere, as far as the eye can see, drowning in rats.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: The rats are soft, the deer are walking over the top of them.
Ron: This is de incentivizing hooves.
Ron: I didn't consider the hoof earlier.
Ron: That's the problem.
Laura: You've always got to consider the hoof from the trees.
Ron: The little reindeer, the little petite little reindeer have been nibbling on all the low leaves for too long.
Ron: The trees have gone, f*** this, we're going to grow taller.
Ron: The little reindeer, they start, like, jumping up a little bit, then they start being able to stand, then they start being able to walk on two legs.
Ron: How do we get them to stay on two legs?
Ron: Bananas.
Laura: What, like just peels everywhere so they fall over?
Ron: No, I'm saying because one of the things that you could do to sort of have a selective pressure for them remaining on two legs if they had something to manipulate.
Ron: So I'm thinking the deer opening bananas and eating those.
Ron: Maybe the bananas are up in the trees.
Laura: Crikey.
Laura: Okay, so is it a warmer climate and is that going to affect our reindeer or are these bananas that develop in a colder climate?
Ron: I guess we'll have hot reindeer rather than Arctic bananas.
Laura: Okay, start bands.
Laura: One called Hot Reindeers and one called Arctic Bananas.
Ron: Yeah, I like the sound of an Arctic banana.
Laura: Yeah, it's kind of like a banana Sunday split thing, isn't it?
Ron: Banana hot rainder.
Ron: That's just venison, though.
Ron: Are there any more applicable fruits or nuts or something that you can think.
Laura: Of that would be pomegranate?
Ron: Is that not a tropical thing as well?
Laura: Yeah, but most good fruits tropical, isn't it?
Laura: Yeah, it's just apples and pears, really.
Laura: Well, blackberries, but there's nothing you'd want to fiddle off on a BlackBerry, is there?
Laura: Plums.
Laura: They've got a pretty good stone in.
Ron: Them, but you wouldn't need your hands, you just need to spit out that stone.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I think Arctic bananas yeah, Arctic bananas have evolved as well, then.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Christmas episode three.
Ron: How do we get Arctic bananas?
Laura: We'll do that to the harvest episode next year.
Ron: It's just going to be all seasonal epic, but I think it works over the seasonal stuff because schools do seasonal things.
Laura: Also, I don't think many people are really in this podcast, having invested heavily in the sincerity of the premise.
Laura: I think it's the nonsense.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Right, so now we've got petite reindeer walking around on two legs, opening bananas, drowning in rats.
Laura: Just as nature intended.
Ron: So now the tricky bit now is getting them to fly.
Laura: Well, yeah, I guess now what we.
Ron: Need, because the journey is how do we get raided to fly?
Ron: We really haven't actually gone that close to fly.
Laura: Well, I think we're nearly there, Ron.
Laura: So what you said earlier is they now need a reason to glid between the trees.
Laura: So now we need a change in glid.
Laura: Yeah, like glided.
Laura: They glid glowed.
Laura: Glitted glowed.
Ron: They glowed.
Laura: They glowed.
Laura: So now we need to make the forest less dense again, because we need gaps between the trees.
Laura: So we either need the forest to get less dense or we need it to get sparser as it gets up.
Laura: So we need maybe trees that are very conical down.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Christmas trees.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Ron but with bananas on them.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So now when the bananas are getting higher and higher and as the reindeer get up and up, they've either got to go all the way back down the cone, back in the rat pool and across and up another one, or they've got a glide between the tops of the cones.
Ron: Yes, I think you're perfectly correct.
Ron: To be honest, I looked into the evolution of bats for this, and not lots is known about the evolution of bats or how they came about.
Ron: I think maybe the fossil record must be a bit s*** because it seems like people don't really know.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: My second clangingly stupid thought of the day.
Laura: Just so I don't say every stupid thought that comes into my head, but my brain then went, because they're in the sky.
Laura: Fewer fossils.
Laura: Oh, my God, he's f****** dense.
Laura: Individual sky fossils.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Here's a crazy fact.
Ron: A quarter of all mammal species are bats.
Laura: What?
Laura: Nucky.
Laura: Don't scratch your head on the microphone, you dumb dumb.
Laura: You're so unprofessional.
Ron: You okay?
Ron: Is it because I'm half an hour late feeding you?
Ron: Yes, it is.
Ron: I'm recording a podcast.
Laura: Yeah, Nocky, you watch.
Laura: Next week we're going to make it so that you can swim.
Ron: Oh, she's on the keyboard.
Ron: She's cute on the keyboard.
Laura: She's cute everywhere.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Right.
Ron: So bats evolved from small arboreal mammals that started out with webbed feet and then webbed limbs for gliding, then actual flight.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You know what arboreal means?
Laura: Trees.
Ron: Trees, yeah.
Ron: Like an arbore item.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I've got a ballgame called Arboretum, where it's not ballgame's, little card game, but it's quite cute.
Ron: That's how I knew you'd know that word.
Ron: So the carrot stick here, like we've already discussed, is about getting from tree to tree without going down.
Ron: Might be avoiding predators by doing that.
Laura: But definitely you're avoiding a predator.
Laura: What were you doing then?
Ron: Scratching my ankle.
Ron: Yucky.
Ron: Desist.
Ron: Thank you.
Ron: Yeah, definitely saving energy and time.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: So, yeah, we've already nailed that.
Ron: They're climbing the Christmas Arctic bananas trees.
Ron: They're avoiding the rat.
Laura: Rat soup.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The rat everywhere.
Ron: Now they'll start jumping, then they'll start gliding.
Ron: I think the thing that we're missing from our reindeer equation here is how do we get them to then just stay in the sky?
Ron: Because I think bats probably had the extra selective pressure of maybe, like, hunting small insects and stuff.
Laura: I've got it, Ron, go on.
Laura: Well, we put them on an island, didn't we?
Ron: We did.
Laura: Now something about this island makes it like a salmon situation where it's the only place that they can breed.
Ron: It's the only place that they are.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: But now they've got wings and they've gone up to the top of the cones and what's that just across the water?
Laura: Another island with three times as good food.
Laura: So they've got to fly across the water to get to that food and fly back.
Ron: Well, the thing is, though, how would they know about the good food.
Laura: Advertising?
Ron: Because I think that's putting the cart.
Laura: Before the horse coming off that sock.
Laura: Yeah, okay.
Ron: Because I think you're right, that would help.
Ron: But once they can fly, a population would go there and then explode, basically.
Laura: Maybe the rats start getting angry about all the banana peels being dropped on their heads and they start biting, and then the reindeer are like, you know what, it's lovely being up here without being bitten by rats.
Ron: That is what I was thinking.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I think because they don't have the predation thing, pushing them into extended flight, escaping predators is probably the way because I wanted to sort of make this point earlier, but obviously the reindeer aren't the only thing that are evolving.
Laura: S***.
Ron: The Arctic bananas the whole time will be evolving to avoid being eaten by reindeer.
Ron: The rats will constantly be evolving to avoid being trodden on by reindeer.
Ron: So, yeah, maybe the rats start climbing the trees and chasing the reindeer out of them.
Laura: I think they can't have been rats, then, because the rats must have been climbing the trees before the reindeer.
Laura: That's just Rat 101 up a tree.
Ron: Oh, then maybe they've just always been doing it.
Laura: Yeah, but then why would the reindeer have gone up?
Laura: Maybe they're not.
Ron: The reindeer went up there to get the Arctic.
Laura: Maybe they're hedgehogs.
Ron: But no, it's fine if the rats were always there.
Ron: It just means that the reindeer that go up there, they have a certain mortality rate that flying is then the selective pressure of getting away from I.
Laura: Don'T know, because the rats were the reason they stood up.
Ron: The rats can the rats are multifaceted.
Laura: Yes, but if the rats are in the trees, then the reindeers got no reason to stay up anymore.
Ron: Yeah, no, but the rats can be in the trees and on the floor.
Ron: It's a rat carpet.
Ron: There's hundreds of them.
Laura: Yeah, but the rats would still be able to get to the nut as you open it when you're bipedal.
Ron: Not if you're standing away from the trees, because the trees are cones stood next to it out of the bottom bit.
Ron: That's all connecting halfway up the cone, eating my Arctic banana away from the rats.
Laura: So you're just leaning out of the cone into the airspace in between?
Ron: No, because I'm stood on the floor in between two trees eating my banana.
Laura: But we made it dense to get them small.
Laura: I think it's denser than that.
Laura: Run.
Ron: We don't necessarily need it to be dense if they're on an island, because that was forcing things to be small as well.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I really want someone to animate this for us.
Laura: I want to see a cartoon of everything these reindeer are going through.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then if the rats force them out the trees, we have flying reindeer.
Laura: And then I guess at some point, they're going to have to discover capitalism, which is why they go to work.
Ron: For Santa, I think.
Ron: Santa has discovered capitalism and he harvests a national tyranny.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And he's kidnapping them.
Ron: Yeah, I think so.
Laura: What a festive note to end on.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: The exploitation.
Ron: Think how many he'd need, though.
Ron: It would be like James and the giant peach.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Laura to finish up our Christmas series.
Laura: Yep.
Ron: What's your favourite Christmas?
Laura: This one, because I'm spending it with you.
Ron: Merry Christmas, everyone.
Laura: Merry Christmas, everyone.
Laura: We hope you've had a crack in time and we wish you lots of love and peace and quiet and nice things, and you're the best.
Laura: And we'll see you in the new year when we have to go back to proper work, don't we, Ron?
Ron: Yeah, we do.
Ron: We'll be diving back into physics.
Laura: Chemistry.
Ron: Chemistry.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Man, I wish it was more biology, but it's not.
Laura: It's chemistry.
Laura: We will be going back in with moles.
Ron: A teaser.
Ron: We don't usually do that.
Laura: Well, I just flipped my page to look at the notes to see what it was.
Laura: It's that episode where you inexplicably made me write with a pencil for a little while, and I've written I hate Ron.
Ron: Catch us on law men.
Ron: That should be out around this time.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: If you're not seeing the Meat Dragon of Norton, fitzwalk using the meat dragon.
Ron: With Alastair Beckett King and James Shakeshaft.
Laura: We had a lovely time doing that.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: But mainly take care of yourselves and we'll see you again next week.
Laura: We love you so much, Labrads.
Laura: Merry Christmas.
Ron: Merry Christmas.
Ron: Now, say that Christmas.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Say Christmas.
Laura: Dismissed.
Ron: Class christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment