Eggatha Christie

Ron: It's Easter.

Ron: Easter intro.

Ron: You don't really get Easter music.

Ron: You don't really get Easter films or references Easter.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: We normally just do intro outro as with these, don't we?

Ron: Yeah, that's just special ones.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education, the Comedy science podcast, where comedian me Laura Lexx tries to learn science from her Laura Eggs.

Laura: Laura Eggs.

Laura: Love it.

Laura: From her excellent younger brother, Egron.

Ron: Hello.

Ron: It's eggs, execution.

Laura: Legs.

Laura: Execution.

Ron: Execution.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: It's our Easter special this week.

Laura: So no normal intros and outros and no curriculum.

Laura: We've thrown it in the bin, stuck it out the window.

Laura: And this week instead, we're going to be looking at the science of eggs, are we?

Laura: Aren't we?

Ron: Did you do science?

Laura: Yes, a science podcast.

Laura: You've f****** done.

Ron: I told you I was doing the five best eggs.

Laura: Yeah, I thought you meant best for scientific reasons, like, oh, it's got a big yolk and that's got lots of energy in it.

Laura: I thought you'd tell me what an egg is and why it works.

Ron: I thought this episode was going to be fun.

Laura: Yeah, I was excited to learn about how eggs work.

Laura: I've got some science in mine, I.

Ron: Got a bit of science in mine, but also I just own the five best eggs at one point.

Ron: I'm going to make a deviled egg.

Laura: Have you planned in?

Laura: Do you know when the devil is actually going to happen?

Laura: When you feel like it should.

Ron: I'm going to cheque a deviled egg recipe first.

Laura: What do you mean?

Laura: Why are you checking a recipe now?

Ron: I've never made deviled eggs before.

Laura: What is the deviled egg?

Ron: I think you just take out the yolk and mix it with mayonnaise and then put it back in.

Laura: What was in that little sachet that you showed me here?

Ron: This?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: That's mayonnaise in a little tube like primula.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And it's got Dijon mustard already in it, which is one of the ingredients of a deviled egg.

Laura: That sachet only looks big enough for like two sandwiches, though.

Ron: Yeah, the way we make them.

Ron: But here's, it next to my hand.

Laura: Yeah, that's tiny.

Laura: Do you need a big jar?

Ron: I've got a jar as well.

Laura: Oh, this is some special mayonnaise.

Ron: Yeah, it's got Dijon mustard in it.

Laura: Well, happy Easter.

Laura: Ron, what are your Easter plans?

Ron: Mother and father are coming.

Laura: Agony dad patrons will have listened to Agony dad by now.

Ron: Agony, dad.

Ron: And just agony.

Ron: Am I right?

Ron: Women stuck.

Ron: I actually might need a few more ingredients for my devil egg, but I'll get this later on.

Laura: I love that we've got like a practical element to the class today.

Ron: I wanted us to both do a practical element, but, you know, you wanted.

Laura: Us both to have to eat twelve boiled eggs during the recording and I said that will be sad for us and disgusting for the listener.

Laura: Why would we do that?

Ron: And I thought it would be fun, but that's also 1200 calories.

Ron: So maybe we shouldn't eat all these eggs.

Laura: No.

Laura: Also we'll be blocked up for days.

Ron: I love eggs.

Laura: Yeah, eggs are delicious.

Laura: I don't want to just eat twelve plain boiled eggs.

Laura: No, but welcome me, though, because I love smooth foods.

Laura: So I love the way a boiled egg has a smooth edge.

Laura: Like, what else do I love?

Laura: I love those flat Lear damma cheese slices that are really smooth.

Laura: I love, like, really thin Easter egg chocolate where it's really smooth.

Laura: Not saying anything.

Ron: It's weird what you're saying.

Ron: That's odd.

Laura: Do you have any mugs in your house that came free with an Easter egg?

Ron: No, I've only got nice things.

Laura: Such a snob.

Laura: All right, Ron, so you've got your five best eggs and you've got your.

Ron: Five hardest to find eggs.

Laura: Well, I've done the science and an Easter egg hunt, so I've done some animals that lay their eggs in interesting places, and then I've got some science stuff about eggs that are in specific places and why they're there.

Ron: Sure.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Do you want to hear my first fact, though, that is not really.

Ron: Do you want to maybe just do all five of yours and then I'll do all five of mine?

Ron: Because they're different lists.

Laura: They're very different lists.

Laura: Do you want to hear my first fact, though?

Laura: That didn't really fit into anything, but I thought it was really exciting.

Ron: I'll trade you for an anecdote.

Laura: I love it.

Laura: So, according to National Geographic, you can predict what colour a chicken egg will be by the colour of the hens earlobes.

Ron: But Laura, do hens have earlobes?

Laura: Yeah, they do.

Laura: So, like, there's a chicken breed called a leghorn, it says, and they have white earlobes and they lay white eggs.

Laura: And then chickens with red earlobes lay brown shelled eggs.

Laura: It's not a constant rule.

Laura: It's not a rule, it's guidance.

Laura: But isn't that fun?

Ron: Most of the time?

Laura: It's true, yeah.

Ron: Interesting, I guess.

Ron: That is an ear lobe.

Ron: That's the part of this that's throwing me in a tailspin.

Ron: The fact, for me is not eggs and earlobes sometimes match up.

Ron: It's more chicken.

Laura: Chickens have earlobes?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Oh, God, they're awful.

Laura: Hang on, I need to Google chicken earlobes now.

Ron: You didn't before?

Laura: No, I've been researching really hard and concentrating.

Ron: Oh, f*** off.

Ron: Chickens just have ears.

Laura: Whoa.

Laura: Yeah, they fully have ears.

Ron: Chickens have big old ears.

Ron: Oh, rubbish.

Ron: I didn't like that.

Laura: You didn't like my chicken egg fact?

Ron: No, it was gross to me.

Ron: Well, I know I liked the fact, but I did not like looking at these pictures of chickens.

Laura: No, that's fair enough.

Laura: Now that you see them, you're like, oh, of course they have those.

Laura: But it would never have occurred to me that that bit was an ear.

Ron: A chicken would be a good one for the drawing game.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I just sent you something.

Laura: I didn't mean to meant to send you this.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So, there you go.

Laura: There's my first fact.

Laura: I just sent them a picture of a chicken with a human ear superimposed on it.

Ron: Yeah, that was a nice fact.

Laura: I'm glad you liked it, matey.

Ron: What was your anecdote when they were younger?

Ron: Our two youngest nephews.

Ron: You know when you see the bales of hay in fields wrapped up in brown plastic, black plastic?

Ron: I told them that those were cow eggs.

Laura: Nice.

Ron: Yeah, it was fun.

Ron: I think they were very young.

Ron: I think they believed me.

Ron: They thought cows would hatch out of them.

Ron: You're distracted.

Ron: What are you looking at?

Laura: Those closing tabs of chicken ears.

Laura: Right.

Laura: I can close.

Laura: What's up again now?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So I thought I'd have a look at different places that eggs get laid and different ways that animals in the science world keep their eggs safe.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I came up with some cool stuff.

Laura: It was harder than I thought not to just get pictures of people going, like, look at this wacky.

Laura: Birds laid an egg in my shoe.

Laura: And I was like, I don't care, die.

Laura: But I found some cool bits and pieces.

Laura: So there's a bird called a horn bill.

Laura: They're like quite ugly looking birds.

Laura: Like larger size.

Laura: Right.

Laura: I can't tell you about this stuff.

Laura: If you're literally cracking an egg at the time, you get mad at me if I'm not even looking directly down the webcam.

Laura: And then you're just there, like tapping a teaspoon on an egg.

Ron: All right, then the making of the deviled egg is going to have to be a segment, then.

Laura: Do you want to make the devil?

Ron: I think I should make it in between and eat it at the end.

Laura: All right, so you want me to do all my facts now?

Laura: And then we'll have a deviled egg break and then we'll hear your facts.

Laura: Is that what you want for this episode?

Ron: Well, I think yes.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Because I don't think it's good content to be like, and here's the fifth huntiest egg.

Ron: And then I have to be like, and here's the fifth best egg.

Ron: And then we count down two different lists.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: All right.

Ron: That's like if Christmas and New Year's were on the same day, it wouldn't be as good.

Laura: No.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: I'll tell you all about the different eggs.

Laura: My Easter egg hunt, it's just occurred to me, why don't they make a Terry's Chocolate Egg?

Ron: Would it taste of egg?

Laura: No, it'd be exactly the same as the Terry's Chocolate Orange, but in an egg shape.

Ron: But it's orange flavour when it's an.

Laura: Orange terry's Chocolate Orange Egg.

Laura: There you go.

Ron: I think I heard recently that they didn't start off with oranges.

Laura: No, they didn't.

Laura: They started off with apple.

Ron: Terry's chocolate.

Ron: Fruit.

Laura: I think it was Terry's chocolate apple first.

Laura: I think you heard this on National Treasures.

Ron: Maybe I did.

Ron: Maybe I did.

Ron: Carry on.

Laura: No, you're distracted.

Ron: I'm not.

Laura: You are.

Ron: I'm reading.

Laura: All right, I'm closing this page and close every other.

Ron: I have my deviled egg recipe I've got.

Laura: What if I waste my hornbill information on you and you're not even hearing?

Ron: I'll tell you, because I need to look at something.

Ron: I'm going to Google hornbills and look at them.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Okay, so these are hornbills you're having a look at picture.

Laura: Now.

Ron: I'll describe them for the listener.

Ron: I would describe them as, like, tokens.

Ron: They're battle tokens.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So they tend to breed in a mating pair.

Laura: And what they do is they find a hollow of a tree or a hole in a tree, and then she goes in the tree and lays the eggs.

Laura: And then her mate seals her in using mud, like, seals up the hole of the gap in the tree so that they can't see.

Laura: And then in an even more of a creepy twist of being like bricked into a wall for childbirth, when she's in there, all her flight feathers fall out of her body as nature's way of taking the car keys.

Ron: That's awful.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So she's just stuck in this tree, sealed up in a hole with the eggs, and then they hatch.

Laura: And then about two weeks after they hatch, she gets her flight feathers back and then she'll bust out of the mud.

Laura: And then when she's out, they seal the chicks back in, but just with a hole to get food in.

Laura: And then when the chicks are big enough, they'll bash out the mud again.

Ron: No offence, hornbills, but there must be a better way.

Laura: Well, I guess even though they're battle tokens, they're not that good at battling, so they're hiders.

Laura: Not fighters.

Ron: No, but you'd think maybe they overheat in there, which is why they lose the flight feathers, because you'd think it would be way more efficient to just evolve, not running away from your kids, than to slough off your mode of transport and then grow it back.

Laura: I wonder if it's a double whammy, though.

Laura: Like you lose those and then she can't leave.

Laura: But also that's nesting material.

Ron: Yeah, but then birds do shed a.

Laura: Lot of feathers into their nests, don't they?

Ron: But I just don't believe that the shedding of the feathers is to stop them from leaving.

Laura: No, I doubt it's to stop them from leaving.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Maybe it is nesting material.

Laura: Or maybe it's because maybe what it is is that I don't know how much biological maintenance feathers take, like how much energy it takes to just maintain them, but if the body recognises that, they're not going to be flying for three weeks anyway, so sack these off, don't bother maintaining them and then they fall out.

Ron: Yeah, I don't know how much feathers take.

Ron: We looked at a thing about feathers.

Laura: When we were in the museum.

Ron: Don't remember anything it said, though.

Laura: No specify.

Ron: I like that they brick up the kids, though, as well.

Ron: That makes a lot more sense to me.

Laura: What, them bricking in the motherbird, too?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: What if there was a fire?

Laura: Probably wouldn't be and it would smell nice.

Laura: Roasted bird.

Ron: They are very beautiful.

Laura: All right, get a room, I'll brick you into it.

Laura: So that's hornbills, then.

Laura: Little cute one.

Laura: Did you know hummingbirds, they use spider webs to hold their nest together.

Ron: I'm going to look at some hummingbirds now.

Laura: They get hold of little spider web, bits of gossamer and silk, and then they use it to weave into the nest and then it makes the nest really strong and a bit springy, and sometimes they make little hammocks.

Ron: Oh, I googled hummingbird spider web, but I'm just seeing hummingbirds getting eaten by spiders.

Laura: Oh, no, they use them for their nests.

Laura: Google more like hummingbirds.

Ron: I like hummingbirds.

Ron: I saw a hummingbird in the wild in Mexico.

Laura: They also lay the smallest bird eggs in the world, I think hummingbirds interesting.

Ron: How small?

Laura: Really small.

Laura: 61 millimetres or something, I think it said.

Laura: No, that can't be right.

Laura: No, I think the hummingbird was 61 millimetres.

Ron: Yeah, 61 millimetres.

Ron: Isn't that small?

Laura: No, that's six centimetres.

Laura: That's big.

Laura: That's bigger than how many?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: No, I can't remember.

Laura: I didn't look that up.

Laura: It was not pertaining to what I was doing.

Laura: But they were.

Laura: I know they had the smallest bird eggs and ostriches lay the biggest bird eggs.

Ron: Yes, they do now.

Laura: Oh, that feels like it's going to be a ron fact.

Laura: Yeah, because I was looking at ostriches, because do you remember that book The Cuckoo Child?

Ron: No.

Laura: Did you never listen to that as a kid about the little boy that went to the zoo and stole an ostrich egg and brought it home and it hatched?

Ron: No.

Laura: Oh, it was great.

Laura: And I was looking up ostrich eggs because it came up as they were the biggest ones, and ostriches do lay their eggs in a communal pile and then the alpha female just sits on all of them, the alpha pair.

Laura: But then if there's too many eggs, she'll just roll some of the ones on the edge away from the pile, because hers are in the middle.

Laura: So that's how they do, like, dominance in the breeding bit.

Laura: But then it was like, oh, that kind of makes sense as to how this little boy might have nicked one.

Ron: Interesting.

Ron: Yeah, I've done a lot of reading.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: I'm much better at learning through reading myself.

Laura: Listening is very difficult for me.

Laura: So my next one is the clown fish, so also called an anemy fish.

Laura: So this is some Finding Nemo territory.

Laura: You know, I'm finding Nemo.

Laura: They live in the anemy.

Laura: Yeah, that is what clownfish do.

Laura: And they have a symbiotic relationship with the anemy where they don't get stung by it, but they can lay their eggs in there knowing that any predators can't get into the anemy.

Ron: What does the anemy get out of it?

Laura: Status.

Ron: Rent.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So there's three cool nests.

Laura: Now, here's a fun one, Laura.

Ron: You're caning through these nests.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Well, I didn't do five because like I said to you, there's not loads of information about the nests, so I did more than five different cool bits of thing.

Laura: So here's one that I thought was fun.

Laura: So this is on sciencedaily.com, and I was looking at a scientific paper from 2013.

Laura: And how is this for cool?

Laura: Yeah, we were but children.

Ron: I was a child.

Ron: Legally.

Laura: You still are, mate.

Laura: So it was about quails, right.

Laura: This paper quails famous eggs.

Laura: What?

Ron: I said quails famous eggs.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: And they have markings on them, so they're not plain eggs.

Laura: They're like spotty camouflaged kind of things.

Laura: Right.

Laura: And this paper, I think, where is it?

Laura: P.

Laura: George Lovell of Abate University and the University of St.

Laura: Andrews, he says not only are the eggs camouflage, but the birds choose to lay their eggs on a substrate that maximises camouflage.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: So they notice that female quail, the eggs of the quail, vary quite a lot in how much camouflage they have on them.

Ron: So some quail or per egg?

Laura: Per quail.

Laura: I think they tend to lay ones with similar patterns on them.

Ron: Sure.

Laura: But like some birds oh, yeah.

Laura: It says some birds consistently lay eggs covered in dark spots, others have fewer spots.

Laura: In some case, they're like almost plain eggs.

Laura: And so they did this test in a lab where they gave each quail four different types of background in their area and then checked to see which ones the quail would use to lay their eggs on.

Laura: And the quails would always choose the background that best suited the type of eggs they knew that they were going to lay.

Laura: So, like, say I was a heavy spotted quail egg layer without I wouldn't, like, lay the eggs and then move them onto the one that fit.

Laura: The quails knew what kind of patterned eggs they lay and would pre choose the right pattern.

Ron: That's very interesting.

Ron: I wonder if they can do that, the first batch of eggs that they lay.

Ron: I wonder how hereditary the egg panning is.

Laura: This doesn't say.

Laura: That says animals make choices based on their knowledge of the environment and their own phenotype to maximise their ability to reproduce and survive.

Ron: Do you know what a phenotype is?

Laura: No.

Ron: So phenotype is kind of like a trait that's attached to a gene.

Ron: So, for example, it could be hereditary.

Ron: You and I both have the phenotype of brown hair.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: That sort of thing.

Laura: I'm losing it, though.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Yours is turning grey.

Ron: Mine is disappearing.

Laura: Goodbye.

Laura: Yeah, I thought that was fun.

Ron: That is fun.

Ron: That's a good one.

Ron: Those would be hard to hunt.

Laura: Most motherbirds do get better at it as they get successive broods, I guess.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Well, because you learn what you're up to, don't you?

Laura: You always see in nature documentary is like, oh, this motherbird's lost that.

Laura: But then next year she's gone, like, oh, last year I did that and a fox ate it, so I won't do it again.

Ron: Sure.

Ron: No, they're giving a lot of agency to quails.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Look how clever they are, though, according to Science Daily.

Ron: No, they just get an urge to poop an egg on a thing.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: They're walking around going like, quail, quail.

Ron: I don't know why, but I want to lay my eggs over there.

Laura: But isn't that still a type of intelligence?

Laura: That's instinct isn't instinct intelligence?

Ron: I think you could argue it's a type of intelligence.

Laura: And I will.

Laura: I think it is because my therapist was telling me the other day that there's, like, science now about how you've got a brain in your tummy, and so gut instinct should be factored into your intelligence and how much slack you give yourself.

Ron: Yeah, that's actually very interesting about the gut, the gut thing, because a lot of refLexxes in that they don't actually make it to your brain.

Ron: You have things called ganglions that they sort of bounce around and then I'll move your hand and things, and your gut is kind of a big version of that.

Laura: I like that.

Laura: Okay, Ron, we're going to move on from birds for a little bit, although we are going to come back to a bird before the end.

Ron: Classic egg layers are the birds.

Laura: Yeah, but right.

Laura: Speaking of classic egg layers, Ron, this won't so Tom and I fell on very different sides of this divide because I said to him, oh, my God, sharks lay eggs.

Laura: And he went, yeah, they're fish.

Laura: And I said, yeah, but did you know that some sharks don't lay eggs?

Laura: And he went, oh, so I was surprised that some sharks did, and he was surprised that some sharks didn't.

Laura: But I guess being fish, fish can be live birthers or egg layers or whatnot.

Laura: But I guess you just feel fine about both those facts.

Ron: I knew all of this beforehand.

Ron: But also, you've got to understand that there is no such thing as a fish.

Laura: I know, because of the podcast.

Ron: So calling like, you can't really say they do this or they do that because they're fish.

Ron: That doesn't mean anything.

Laura: We talk about on this podcast.

Ron: Yeah, that's true.

Ron: But it's a rare departure from reason for Tom.

Ron: The other thing is that sharks have been around forever, basically.

Ron: There was God and there was Adam and Eve and there were sharks.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So, like, some of them have been a species wise apart for long, long time.

Laura: Well, I've got two.

Ron: Some of them had chimney heads.

Laura: What, for, like, swimming along the top of the water?

Ron: No.

Ron: Was it walking with sea monsters?

Ron: With Nigel Marvin?

Ron: And then there's a good bit in there.

Laura: I love those.

Laura: I forgot how much you loved walking with dinosaurs and walking with beasts.

Ron: Walking with dinosaurs was so good because it was just a dry documentary about dinosaurs.

Laura: You loved that.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: The number of times as a kid, you'd walk into the lounge and just this tiny little boy squatting on the carpet watching that again.

Ron: Episode one, postasuchus.

Ron: And those guys with the little sharp teeth that go like this.

Ron: Episode two, allosaurus stegosaurus.

Ron: The little deploticuses.

Ron: Episode Three what?

Ron: We're in the sea now?

Ron: Liploridon Islands.

Ron: There's a storm Ophthalmosaurus.

Ron: Episode four, the big bird guy, Sad, can't get laid.

Ron: Episode Five in the Arctic What, those dinos cold nose.

Ron: Way warmer then, but still very cold.

Ron: Episode six, trex, triceratops, meteor.

Ron: Awesome stuff.

Laura: And that there was what it was like growing up with Ron.

Laura: Can I just tell you about oh, my God.

Ron: It goes walking with dinosaurs, then walking with beasts is the next best one.

Ron: Then you've got to jump to sea monsters, then walking with monsters.

Ron: That's before dinosaurs.

Ron: Then cavemen.

Ron: Cavemen wasn't that good.

Laura: Well, there you go, everybody.

Ron: Why did I start talking about this?

Laura: Because you just any excuse.

Laura: And you will.

Laura: Because sharks are super old, basically.

Laura: No.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: There were lots of different types of sharks.

Ron: And you know how hammerhead sharks have a weird head?

Ron: Yeah, there have been lots of weird heads.

Ron: That was kind of my point.

Laura: A hammerhead one out.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Nice.

Laura: Well, I've got two different types of sharks to have a look at where they're hiding their eggs.

Laura: First one is a grey nurse shark.

Laura: Technically not an egg layer.

Laura: They were omnivirate or something of eriptus or something.

Laura: What was that word?

Laura: I should have written it down.

Laura: It came up loads.

Laura: Sh.

Laura: Is it oviparis?

Laura: Yeah, oviparis is okay.

Ron: What does that mean?

Laura: I'm just googling this.

Laura: So producing young by means of eggs, which are hatched after they have been laid by the parents.

Laura: And some of them aren't.

Laura: That's what that word means.

Laura: Anyway, so Grey nurse shark doesn't do that.

Laura: They gestate their pups in the tum, in the uterus.

Laura: Yes, but here's what's fun about these guys, is they just ate a load of them and then they all just eat each other until there's only one left.

Ron: I knew that, but I didn't have a chance to say it.

Laura: And I'm glad I didn't entroporine cannibalism with those guys.

Laura: So by the time they're born, they're already the fittest survivor.

Ron: It's like a Chang in community.

Ron: This one's for you, Carney.

Laura: Yeah, so absolute ballers, these guys.

Laura: They're just born already in the Hunger Games.

Laura: Crack on.

Ron: Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Laura: Thunder dome, that is.

Ron: Thunder Womb.

Ron: That is some interesting survival of the fittest there.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Born into a cage match.

Laura: What a time to be alive.

Ron: But sperm already kind of does a little version of that.

Ron: They don't eat each other, but they compete.

Ron: And then yeah, that's great.

Laura: Now they're doing it again.

Laura: Bigger.

Laura: Now go again.

Laura: Then they get in the sea.

Laura: Bigger, now go again.

Laura: Bamiership.

Laura: That's one.

Laura: I think it's kind of weird that they're called nurse sharks.

Laura: That's a nice name for something that's already eaten nine of its siblings before it's even born.

Laura: But so that's one type of shark and then the other.

Ron: Is that why they're called nurse sharks, though?

Ron: Because they have live births?

Ron: Like a wet nurse?

Laura: Yeah, it might be.

Laura: They can't be the only shark that has live births, though.

Ron: No, but they might have just been the other ones might be called other things.

Laura: The great whites have live they feel like they'd have live birthers.

Ron: I think that great whites.

Ron: There was a set number and they were never born.

Ron: And we're just some of them go away.

Laura: They just go down, recharge at the bottom and then come back up.

Laura: They're weird, aren't they?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I'd love to see, like, sharks and whales in real life.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Whales appeal to me.

Ron: I do find sharks genuinely a bit scary.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: But if I was in a boat, I'd feel okay.

Ron: Fair.

Ron: You like jaws?

Ron: You like Jaws, the film?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: It was all right.

Ron: It's about shark.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Called Jaws One.

Laura: And it's kind of about a mayor as well.

Laura: Hey.

Laura: Another type of shark, Ron, is the crested horn shark.

Ron: Googling.

Laura: So I was on Australian geographic for this information.

Ron: Crested horn?

Laura: Yeah, crested horn shark.

Laura: And there's a guy on there called Mark Mcgrouser, who is the collection manager at the Australian Museum.

Laura: He has the Ichthyology collection manager.

Laura: Sorry.

Laura: And he lists the crested horn shark as his favourite egg fish egg.

Laura: So it's a cone shape.

Laura: It kind of looks like a drill bit.

Laura: Like a big spirally drill bit.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: And then it's also got, like, sort of black tendrils hanging off the bottom, like a bit of spirally seaweedy looking stuff.

Ron: Well, the eggs like half the size of the thing.

Ron: If you look at a picture of the shark next to one of these eggs, it's huge.

Laura: They're big, aren't they?

Laura: It has these things, so they're very similar to the Port Jackson shark egg.

Laura: And those, apparently, you see washed up on the beach quite a lot.

Laura: But here's what's really cool about these.

Laura: So they look like a drill bit.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And then what the shark does is it lays the egg, and then it picks the egg up in its mouth and it drills it into a crack in a rock.

Ron: That's very cool.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: I can't believe you've got better eggs than this coming up.

Laura: It screws it in.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I can see pictures of them within their mouth.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And then it's also got the tendrils on it so that it'll stick to seaweed or algae or stuff.

Laura: It gives it like a little velcroy extra protection type of thing, but really cool.

Laura: And then when they come out of the egg, the pups are completely ready to go.

Laura: So they probably are quite big eggs because the pups get quite a decent size in them, I think.

Laura: But he also said in this interview on Australian Geographic that there's some evidence, it says there is some work that suggests embryos in shark eggs reduce their activity when predators are present to reduce chances of predation.

Laura: I think they are able to smell them because later in development, the eggs split open a little to allow water to circulate to help respiration.

Ron: Interesting.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Isn't that fun?

Ron: That is very fun.

Ron: Good egg, Laura.

Laura: Thanks.

Laura: We've got two more.

Laura: We've got one that is a cool egg hunt bit, and then we've got one that is sort of fascinating in a terrifying kind of a way.

Laura: Okay, so your penultimate is the American dipper, which is a bird.

Laura: And my information for this is on the Carnegie Museum website.

Laura: And this bird is very cool.

Ron: Boring bird.

Laura: Well, boring to look at, maybe.

Laura: But I think you'll enjoy this, Ron, because it's one of the only songbirds in the United States that routinely swims.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Quite rare for a songbird to dip about in water and swim properly.

Laura: So they have an adaptation that makes swimming easy for them.

Laura: They have a gland at the base of their tail, an oil gland, and then they can collect oil out of the gland with their beak and preen it over their feathers to make them waterproof.

Ron: Like a beaver.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And they also have those extra eyelids that go across so that they can be all right in the water.

Laura: And they also have little flaps of skin over their nostrils that protects their beak when they're underwater.

Ron: Well, these guys are just all ready for a day out and paddling, are.

Laura: They like seals can close up their nostrils.

Laura: These birds can do that, too.

Laura: So because they have this extra evolution that they've evolved to be good swimmers or maybe they didn't lose it from some kind of swimming thing or whatever.

Laura: They go for a dip.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So it means that they nest in very hard to reach spots.

Laura: But a place that they nest that very few other birds can nest is they nest behind waterfalls.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Never look behind a waterfall in an egg hunt.

Laura: No.

Laura: And if you're like a bigger bird that would come along and smash up another bird's eggs and eat them, you can't because it's behind a waterfall.

Laura: And so they build these sort of waterproof nests about the size of a football and with multiple layers.

Laura: So they put moss, bark, leaves and grass, using moss on the outside to absorb the moisture and then dry grass and things on the inside.

Laura: They make a big waterproof ball.

Ron: Wow.

Ron: Good nest.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: That'd be hard to find on an egg hunt, right?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: There's different types of dipper as well.

Ron: I'm seeing a white cap dipper, a Rufus Thorough dipper, a brown dipper chicken.

Laura: Dipper.

Laura: So pretty cool on the nest front there.

Laura: And then our final egg here, which I thought was interesting because I have been scared about this fact for probably two decades, since I remember first hearing about it and thinking, uhoh, what does this mean for the future?

Laura: So this is alligators now and this is again on the Carnegie Museum website.

Laura: So alligators don't have chromosomes or their embryos don't have chromosomes to determine gender?

Ron: Yes.

Laura: So when an alligator lays its eggs, it's the temperature in the nest that determines what's a boy and what's a girl.

Laura: So if it's very warm and sunny, about 91 to 93 degrees Fahrenheit, then the offspring are mostly male.

Laura: And if it's cooler, only by about five degrees or so, it'll be mostly females.

Laura: They lay their eggs.

Laura: They do hang around near the nest with these.

Laura: So alligators tend to build quite a big nest, hide it in grass or on sand or something, and then lay all the eggs.

Laura: And then they kind of stay nearby.

Laura: They don't have to sit on them or anything like that.

Laura: And then they'll look after them once they hatch.

Laura: But what's happening is that obviously climate change poses a massive problem to alligators because if they're going to end up with all boys because it'll be too hot.

Laura: But what they're noticing is happening with alligators is that the alligators are instinctually having their broods earlier and earlier in the year to maintain the male female ratio.

Laura: Which is fascinating that within their instinct, it's the correct temperature that causes them to the time of year lay their eggs.

Laura: But whether or not I don't know how that obviously can't really work long term because it will have evolved that the right temperature.

Laura: And their food stuff is abundant at a point where they need loads of food to be able to raise them or whatever.

Laura: But isn't that fascinating that they instinctively know what temperature they need their nest to be in order to maintain the male Fermal balance?

Ron: Well, I mean, these things have been around for hundreds of millions of years.

Ron: They tried and tested.

Ron: Even when we do f*** up the planet and everything goes to s***, crocs will be fine.

Laura: Well, you hope.

Ron: Good fact.

Ron: I think snakes do a similar thing.

Laura: What, in terms of what's a boy and what's a girl?

Ron: I think so.

Ron: I might be wrong.

Laura: Snakes is something I'm a bit scared of.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Why are you scared of that?

Laura: Fact because of climate change.

Laura: I remember hearing that, like, temperature affected their eggs when I was really young and thinking, well, how's that going to work with global warming?

Laura: We're going to run out of crocodiles.

Ron: Right.

Laura: But I thought it was interesting that the alligators are kind of getting ahead of it.

Ron: Yeah, they know what to do.

Ron: Maybe calendars humans should start going on holiday earlier in the year or not.

Laura: Going on holiday at all.

Laura: Stop using aeroplanes.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Boo boo.

Laura: There you go.

Laura: That was my Easter egg hunt.

Ron: Ron laura's Easter egg hunt with Laura Lexx.

Laura: Now the egg hunter.

Laura: Laura Lexx, egg hunter, with special guest Ross Kemp.

Ron: Ross Kemp for bridge of lies.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And then every now and again, we'll do a bit where I go, I found this egg and I grab it, but it's Ross Kemp's head.

Ron: All right, next segment.

Ron: It's egg time.

Laura: So, have you Googled and finished up?

Laura: What do you know what you need to do for this deviled egg now, Ron?

Ron: I need apple cider vinegar and paprika.

Ron: Paprika.

Laura: I have both of those things.

Ron: I don't have any apple cider vinegar.

Ron: I have other vinegars, but I don't.

Laura: Really maybe try a different type of vinegar, would you reckon?

Ron: Balsamic?

Ron: Or I've got red wine.

Ron: Or I've got white wine.

Ron: Peeling the egg at the moment.

Laura: I'd go white wine, I think.

Ron: Okay, so for the listener at home, I'm peeling the egg.

Ron: I'm very good at peeling eggs.

Ron: The technique that you need is you tap it all over and then get.

Laura: A cup of tea in.

Ron: Tell him I'm making a deviled egg, Tom.

Laura: Yeah, ron's making a deviled egg.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Because he had an idea that on the egg episode for Easter, we should egg episodes, and I said no.

Laura: And then he decided to try and eat some eggs.

Laura: And I with some of the ingredients live on the podcast.

Ron: Something in it.

Ron: See, Tom said it's.

Laura: Something in it.

Ron: Yeah, we heard that's all going into the podcast.

Ron: So I've peeled and I've halved my egg.

Ron: So hungry.

Ron: I'm so keen for this, I'm now scooping out of the yolk.

Ron: Chlora.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And where's the yolk?

Laura: Is the yolk wet or firm?

Ron: It's a firm yolk.

Ron: Today I was recording a podcast while I was making my eggs.

Laura: Who's been eating my eggs?

Laura: Have you seen Rescuers down under too?

Ron: There's a second one.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Where they go to Australia and rescue Mara Houte.

Ron: They're in Australia.

Ron: It's rescuers down under.

Ron: They were in Australia.

Laura: No.

Laura: Yeah, rescuers, too.

Laura: Just Rescuers Down Under with Joanna the goanna who's been eating my eggs and he wants to feed her a golden eagle egg.

Ron: Oh, yeah, of course.

Ron: I've seen the rescuers down under.

Laura: I love rescue.

Ron: That was a kid's film when I was a kid.

Laura: Better than rescuers.

Laura: Normal, I think.

Ron: I don't know.

Ron: Madame Medusa's Pawn Shop.

Laura: Pawn shop.

Laura: Deep boutique.

Ron: Snoop.

Laura: Don't tell me you've found the diamond.

Laura: You control a little girl.

Laura: I am taking the next flight down to Devil's Bayou.

Laura: I'd love to play Madame Medusa.

Ron: You'd be very good at it.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: That bit where she used to peel off her false eyelashes fascinated me as a kid.

Ron: I'm just going to go get the rest of the ingredients I need.

Laura: Yeah, why wouldn't you?

Laura: I mean, why are we doing this segment in the first place?

Laura: Why wouldn't you have all the ingredients with you.

Laura: He's noisy little git.

Laura: He's a weird guy, but he is my brother.

Ron: It got them.

Laura: What did you need to get?

Laura: What did you get?

Laura: White wine vinegar.

Ron: Yeah, I got white wine vinegar.

Ron: So I guess some of that, little.

Laura: Of this, a little of that, some.

Ron: Of that goes in.

Ron: I didn't have Dijon mustard, but I've got whole grain.

Laura: It's not quite a deviled egg, is it?

Laura: It's just a sort of old demon egg.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So a little bit of whole grain mustard.

Ron: I'm putting in three times as much as the recipe says because I love it.

Laura: Why did you even look at recipe, Ron?

Ron: They don't really eat deviled eggs anywhere apart from America, so, yeah, really sure what was in it.

Ron: And I've got a little bit of S and P.

Ron: I've got a great pepper grinder.

Laura: F****** owl.

Laura: This is a low point, isn't it?

Ron: And a little bit of salt.

Ron: And now what I'm going to do, listeners, I'm going to mash up the yolk.

Ron: White wine vinegar.

Ron: Bad miss.

Ron: Mashing up that yolk with the paprika, the mustard.

Laura: I'm so glad this is a you edit one this, because I would just be cutting most of the episode at this point.

Laura: This is the s*** you live for.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: And now I spoon the yolk.

Laura: It looks disgusting.

Laura: Rather looks horrible.

Laura: It looks like a sort of peanut butter porridge diarrhoea.

Laura: It's not yellow like an egg yolk at all.

Laura: It's full brown.

Laura: You're going to poop so hardly.

Laura: And took a mouthful of it.

Laura: Too much mustard.

Laura: Ron's face looks oh, you look like the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Laura: Horrible.

Ron: Too much mustard and vinegar.

Laura: Still shovelling it in, though.

Ron: Last one.

Laura: He's going back in for another one.

Laura: All right.

Laura: He's finding it very hard to eat without shaking his head.

Laura: Currently, the eyes are watering.

Ron: That's exactly the boost I needed to get through the last half of this podcast, though.

Laura: Oh, you are going to do some toots tonight.

Laura: Yum.

Laura: He's saying yum, but his eyes are not saying yum.

Laura: His eyes are saying owie.

Ron: Yum.

Ron: Right, okay, are you ready for the five best eggs, Laura?

Laura: I just like listeners to get in touch and let us know whether they think the podcast would have been better if we had both been trying to eat twelve foiled eggs through the whole thing, or whether you were happy with just a limited segment of egg eating noises in the middle.

Ron: And if we get to 60 patrons by the end of the week, we'll do a one off Eggathon.

Laura: Live streamed though livestream Eggathon.

Laura: 60 eggs between us.

Laura: We don't stop until we've eaten them all.

Ron: 61 egg for each patron.

Laura: It seems fair.

Laura: I can't eat.

Ron: I'm game.

Ron: I love eggs.

Laura: No, I'm not eating.

Ron: You could if they're scrambled, because like.

Laura: You can't eat 30 eggs, ron scrambled, you could.

Laura: No, that is not good for any part of your body.

Ron: Protein.

Ron: I'd get get my pump on beforehand.

Laura: I'm happy to do an egg a thon, but I think my maximum is maybe ten eggs.

Ron: Well, you said 30 that came from here.

Laura: Maybe just don't join the patreon, just in case.

Laura: I'll refuse.

Ron: No.

Ron: 60 patrons by the end of the year.

Laura: By the end of the year?

Laura: You got high hopes of you.

Ron: No, by the end of the week.

Ron: Eggathon.

Ron: Twelve eggs each half an hour.

Laura: Oh, we should do it as a murder mystery.

Laura: Agatha Christie.

Laura: The word egathon was making me think of that.

Laura: Right, cup of water for you.

Ron: It's a pint.

Laura: No, that's not a pint.

Ron: Tears.

Laura: Is your head just massive?

Ron: I do have a massive head.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: That's where I keep all my brains.

Ron: My egg.

Laura: Were you asking?

Ron: Laura, do you want to know what the fifth best egg of all time is?

Laura: I do.

Ron: Drumroll, please.

Laura: Just use the sound effect.

Laura: Actually.

Ron: First up on the list of best eggs ever, we have elephant bird eggs.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: Now, Laura, elephant bird eggs are cool for two different reasons.

Ron: Sorry, egg.

Ron: But not only are elephant bird eggs the biggest egg ever, and when I looked into this, I was like, f*** off, nerds.

Ron: Surely there must be a dinosaur with bigger eggs than these elephant bird eggs.

Ron: No, elephant birds?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Are they Australian elephant birds?

Ron: No, I lived in Madagascar.

Laura: They're fairly recent, aren't they?

Laura: Elephant birds?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: They only died out about 1000 years ago.

Laura: Oh, that's not as recent as I was thinking.

Laura: Okay, is that real post lemurs?

Laura: Was there a point where Madagascar was just lemurs and elephant birds?

Ron: Lemurs have been around for longer than a thousand years.

Ron: A thousand years?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Place to go.

Laura: Massive birds and broken monkeys.

Ron: Well, do you remember when we talked about islands and the reindeer at how things either get big or small?

Laura: Yeah, those did both.

Ron: Those got big.

Laura: That means I bet a lima has ridden an elephant bird at some point.

Ron: I think the elephant bird would have eaten the living s*** out of that lima.

Laura: Oh, not kind.

Ron: No, they weren't beaks.

Ron: Actually, maybe they were.

Ron: I didn't write down what they ate.

Ron: Elephant birds.

Laura: Birds aren't vegetarian though, are they?

Ron: No, you're thinking of the mower went extinct.

Ron: We got pictures of mowers and stuff while they were in close geographical proximity of the Ostrich.

Ron: Their closest living relatives are kiwi.

Laura: Oh, I play a really fun video game where I'm a kiwi that runs a post office in New Zealand.

Ron: That's so you.

Ron: That's like your dream.

Laura: Yeah, it's really fun.

Laura: You can play it to player.

Laura: You and girlfriend of the podcast Judith should get on it.

Ron: Oh, weird.

Ron: Wikipedia has different facts to the website I was on when I did my initial research because it says they've been extinct since at least the 17th century.

Ron: So maybe they lasted a bit longer than the other website.

Ron: Said, what do they eat?

Ron: What do they eat?

Laura: Deviled eggs.

Laura: Oh, imagine eating a deviled elephant bird egg.

Ron: I wouldn't want to if it tasted like the one I made.

Laura: I just want you to know clearly that what you just ate was what you just ate was, like an 80% mustard and vinegar egg.

Laura: Okay?

Ron: Ron egg, rainforest fruits and highly sculptured endocarps, whatever those are.

Ron: Jenny, you're listening?

Ron: Can you tell us about elephant birds now?

Ron: Do you want to guess how big the elephant bird's eggs were?

Ron: Laura?

Laura: Well, let me have a think.

Ron: You can tell me either in centimetres or in terms of chicken eggs.

Laura: So I think an ostrich egg is like about a dozen hens eggs all together, maybe even 18.

Laura: So I'm going to say that an elephant bird was maybe like 30 hens eggs.

Ron: 183.

Laura: Whoa.

Ron: 33 centimetres long.

Ron: Biggest egg in the world.

Laura: That's huge.

Ron: An elephant bird itself was three metres tall and weighed up to 730 kilogrammes.

Laura: Three metres tall.

Laura: Were they mostly neck, like an ostrich?

Ron: A lot of mainly neck and leg, yeah.

Laura: I'm picturing a big ostrich.

Laura: Is that right?

Laura: Is that what I'm thinking?

Ron: But a chunkier ostrich mowers are, like, more ostrichy.

Ron: Elephant birds are a bit chunkier than that.

Laura: I'm going to have a look.

Laura: Hang on.

Laura: You can see the kiwi sort of shape in them.

Laura: Were you with us the other day when we were near a load of emus and they were making, like they make the weirdest burp noises?

Ron: No.

Laura: Have you ever listened to an Emuse noise?

Ron: No.

Ron: Are you getting it up?

Laura: Well, I can't really play it to you because I've got headphones in, but they make you look grunting.

Laura: Weird noise.

Ron: Egg number two.

Laura: Laura, do you know animals that sort of, like, play their own noise through their own inner vibrating bit?

Laura: You know, like, they have, like, an echo chamber in their own chest and they sort of, like, roll a rumble through that.

Ron: What do you think we're doing?

Laura: Yeah, but ours doesn't reverberate that much, does it?

Laura: It comes out quite quickly, whereas some, like, have, like, a and they really, like, use it to amplify that's a bit like what emus are like.

Laura: Now, also, I heard a mama set make a noise the other day.

Laura: I think it was a mama set.

Laura: They really make a burp noise, too.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: I saw a video on Twitter earlier of a cat, and it sounds like it's saying, my b*******.

Laura: It was very funny.

Ron: Now, the next egg that I was going to do was mermaids purses.

Laura: I started reading my b******* cat and Google offered me, my b******* is bleeding.

Ron: To be fair, that is bang on with the algorithm for you.

Laura: I've never googled that.

Laura: I know why that's happening.

Laura: Terrible lifestyle.

Ron: So I was going to do Mermaids purses, shark eggs, but then you did those instead.

Ron: So my fourth best egg, laura, drumroll, please.

Ron: Are you listening to the cat?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, that cat really does sound like a saying.

Laura: My b*******.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: My b*** hole.

Ron: My b***.

Laura: Cute cat.

Ron: You ready?

Ron: Drum roll, please.

Laura: Laura yes.

Laura: D*** a d*** a d*** a d***.

Ron: The fourth big egg is a Fabric egg.

Laura: Ron is nothing to do with science.

Ron: No, this is my time to be silly, because it's Easter.

Laura: Ron's famously silly season, easter in the science circles.

Ron: Now, Laura, do you know what the Fabrice eggs were?

Ron: The function of them?

Laura: The function of them?

Laura: No.

Ron: They were pointless.

Ron: Pointless eggs.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: There's nothing to them.

Ron: They're jewellery, basically.

Ron: The House of Fabrice, founded by Gustav Fabrice in 1842.

Ron: He made only 69 of them.

Ron: Ever player 57 of seven of them survive today.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: That's pretty impressive.

Ron: The most famous are the 52 Imperial eggs, which are the ones they gave to the Romanovs.

Laura: Oh, history is famous.

Laura: Bad guys.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: As.

Ron: And this ties it all back together.

Ron: So you need to take back being mad at me as Easter gifts for wives and mothers.

Laura: Oh, I wasn't mad at you.

Laura: I was just wondering what this had to do with our science podcast.

Ron: But it's eggs.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: I told you I was going to make a list of the five best eggs.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And here we are right in the middle of it.

Ron: I was going to do shark eggs, but you already did them.

Laura: Which is your favourite of the Faberge eggs?

Ron: I must say that I'm a big fan of the Imperial Coronation Egg.

Laura: Oh, hang on, I'm going to look it up.

Laura: Imperial Coronation egg.

Laura: Oh, no, it looks like a pineapple made into an egg with a carriage.

Ron: No, that was a joke answer, because it was the one I was looking at.

Ron: I'd say that my actual favourite probably would be the first one he made, which is just called Hen, because it's basically just a golden egg.

Ron: But it looks kind of cool.

Laura: I'm finding it okay.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: It's like matte white on the outside and then gold on the inside.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And it's kind of a babushka egg, I think there's other ones that go inside it.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: It's got like a gold ball, I guess, being like the yolk.

Laura: And then there's a hen that goes inside the gold ball, I believe.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Some of them are proper weird, though.

Ron: Like Renaissance, that one's see through crazy.

Ron: The blue serpent clock that's got handles in that.

Ron: Eggs don't have handles.

Ron: Twelve monograms is quite nice.

Laura: I just found a very modern one.

Laura: The first Imperial Fabbisher egg created in almost a century was unveiled at the Doha Jewellery and Watches exhibition last week, 99 years after it was commissioned by SAR Nicholas II.

Laura: This new one's been made.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And a guy called Victor Ves.

Ron: Vexelberg seems to own most of them.

Laura: Which is rather fabulous.

Laura: Egg collector.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: He's a Ukrainian born Russian, Israelis, Cypriot oligarch, billionaire and businessman.

Laura: He's got a lot going on in his titles, hasn't he?

Laura: Oh, that one's a pretty one.

Laura: I found a really cool blue and gold one I like the look of.

Ron: Which one's?

Laura: That hang on.

Laura: It came up in a photo and now I can't find it.

Laura: Come back to me.

Laura: Hang on.

Laura: Blue and gold Faberge.

Ron: Oh, the Sarovich.

Laura: The oh, it's lapis lazuli.

Laura: Made of genuine lapis lazuli.

Laura: Measuring just over his and widow.

Laura: Listen, I don't know, Ron.

Laura: I don't know what it was called.

Ron: Anyway, so that's my fourth best egg.

Laura: I can't believe you like Faberge eggs that much.

Ron: I don't.

Ron: I had to do it on the fly because you did shark eggs.

Laura: But there's so many eggs.

Ron: Yeah, but I have to think of cool, good eggs.

Ron: Egg number three, drumroll, please do.

Ron: Gordon Ramsay's.

Ron: Scrambled eggs.

Ron: What have you ever made, Gordon Ramsay?

Laura: You tell me all about cool eggs that animals laid and how they were better.

Ron: Well, I was going to do that for most of them, but you took one of mine, so I have to sub in fabrice.

Ron: At this point in the podcast, we'd have had two science ones, and then it would have been oh.

Ron: Now we're off to Gordon Ramsay.

Ron: Lovely.

Ron: As it stands, we're at one for science and two for nonsense.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: You seem very distracted.

Laura: No, I'm back now.

Laura: Gordon Ramsay.

Laura: Scrambled eggs.

Ron: What happened?

Laura: I just was expecting to hear all about sciencey eggs today, and that's not what's happening, and I don't deal well with change.

Laura: But I have discussed with my therapist that it's not change if all that's happened is that my expectations that I had not vocalised have not been met.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: So I was doing some processing in my head.

Ron: So have you ever made Gordon Ramsay scrambled eggs?

Laura: No, Ron.

Laura: No, I haven't.

Ron: No.

Ron: There's science in this.

Ron: This is sciencey.

Laura: Yeah, I know, but I still haven't made them because scrambled eggs is scrambled eggs.

Laura: Who's making a particular type?

Ron: Well, that's why you should make Gordon Ramsay scrambled eggs, because he uses science to bring the best scrambled eggs.

Ron: I love scrambled eggs.

Ron: I make very good scrambled eggs.

Ron: People tell me that when they eat them.

Ron: Now, things that you shouldn't do, do not premix your eggs before you put them in the pan.

Ron: Okay?

Laura: Why?

Ron: Because then you, like, smash up all the bits of eggs.

Ron: That's not what you want.

Laura: That is literally the definition of scramble.

Ron: No, because then what you're doing is you're cooking smashed eggs, whereas what you want to do is scramble eggs in the pan.

Laura: Right?

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Next thing that you should do, do not add salt and pepper until the very end.

Laura: Right.

Ron: Because the salt and pepper is going to start reacting with molecules within the eggs and you're going to get a bad egg.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: And really bad eggs.

Ron: What do you do?

Ron: Crack six eggs into a deep saucepan.

Laura: Non egg if you only want two or three.

Laura: Is Judith on her way home?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: That's New Yorkie running just so Yoki run across the room.

Laura: The door looks like it's open.

Ron: That's my door.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: New Yorkie is just sitting by the door now, waiting for Judith.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So then you turn the heat on, you add a bit of butter.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Does it need to be at room temperature or anything?

Ron: It doesn't say, in fact.

Ron: No, it says cold butter.

Laura: Cold butter.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Hey, Judith.

Laura: Hi.

Laura: Girlfriend of the podcast, Judith.

Ron: How's it going?

Laura: Have you ever had Gordon Ramsay scrambled eggs?

Ron: She has.

Ron: I'm just going to close the door.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So then what you do is you, for about a minute, you let the eggs heat.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And then they're going to start forming curls.

Ron: At this point, make sure that you're stirring continuously, scraping the bottle of the bottom of the pan, removing all of this stuff.

Ron: Then remove the pan from the heat for 10 seconds.

Ron: Keep stirring back on the heat 30 seconds.

Ron: Keep stirring off the heat.

Ron: 10 seconds.

Ron: Keep stirring on the heat.

Ron: 30 seconds.

Ron: Keep stirring until the eggs are as cooked as you want.

Ron: Best scrambled eggs every single time.

Laura: Right.

Ron: You're not very on board.

Laura: I just don't think I've ever made scrambled eggs, like, in a perfectionist manner.

Laura: If I'm having scrambled egg, it's because I want some mushy egg just quickly, without thinking about it.

Ron: Just because you're depressed doesn't mean that know how to make good scrambled eggs.

Laura: But who's making scrambled eggs that fancy?

Ron: It's not fancy.

Ron: It takes three minutes.

Ron: It's just make them better.

Laura: All right.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I guess we'll blow through the rest of this then.

Laura: Ron, I don't think you can be mad at me for having listened to quite a basic description of scrambled egg making and not be able to pick up that particular banter ball and run very far with it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: But week after week, you're like, oh, Ron, I've just done a haiku about.

Laura: Candy floss, love me.

Ron: And then I have to yes.

Ron: And that day in and day out.

Ron: Then I come with a nice list about eggs.

Laura: I was really keen on the elephant bird egg and then I tried pretty hard on the fabbage egg.

Laura: But I do have to confess that yeah, gordon Ramsay scrambled egg.

Ron: All right.

Laura: I'm waning slightly, listeners.

Ron: Give it a go.

Ron: Search gordon Ramsay scrambled eggs.

Ron: It's a thing.

Ron: And then give it a go and message in saying that they're the best egg ever had.

Laura: Yeah, let's do that for Ron.

Laura: We'll all do that together for Ron.

Laura: This week, we're going to 70 patrons.

Ron: By the end of the week.

Ron: Cook along with Ron, we'll make some eggs.

Laura: It's busy week we're going to have yeah.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: The next one platypus eggs.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Now, do you know why it's interesting that platypus lay eggs, Laura?

Laura: They're one of the few mammals that lay eggs?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Now, what's a mammal?

Laura: Well, usually, you'd say, gives birth to live young, milky t***.

Laura: Milk.

Ron: Milk.

Ron: Babies milkers.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Big milkers.

Laura: Warm blooded.

Ron: Yeah, that's pretty good.

Ron: Why do you get so confused about this?

Laura: Because my brain is screaming at me, four legs.

Laura: And then most of my brain power is going, shut up, Laura.

Laura: It's not four legs.

Ron: Yeah, no, it's not four legs, but no.

Ron: Good job.

Ron: So, yeah, platypuses.

Ron: There are other ones.

Ron: Kidnars also lay eggs.

Ron: Very strange.

Ron: But I chose platypus eggs because they're a bit more interesting than a kidnaggs.

Ron: A kidnaggs just kind of look like little pearl cuscus.

Ron: Whereas platypus eggs, they build special eggs.

Laura: I've heard of echidna beans, a kidna beans.

Laura: Now that's a bounty ball.

Laura: I can pick up and run with Ron Hednabees.

Ron: So they built special nursery burrows right in there.

Ron: They usually lay two small leathery eggs.

Laura: Sounds like a poetic description of your testicles.

Laura: Deep down in the burrow, I've got two small leathery eggs.

Ron: They just shake for about two weeks and they ink.

Laura: Oh, that's not too long then.

Ron: No, although it says two weeks, possibly up to a month, which is a sway of up to 100%.

Ron: No, but that's how long that they're in the tum.

Ron: In the tum tum.

Laura: Oh, what, they hold the eggs in the tum tum?

Ron: Well, that's where all eggs come from.

Ron: It's the tum tum.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Do they feel pregnant at that point or are they because when I'm making well, I've already made all my eggs, I guess, but when an egg's just rocking about, I don't think about my life when I'm ovulating.

Ron: Never asked, to be honest.

Ron: I don't know.

Laura: Do you know what I mean?

Laura: Is that two week gestational period, I suppose that's post conception.

Laura: So that is technically like a pregnancy.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: But would the mother's body be like because I found out the other day that morning sickness, like the reason you get worse morning sickness in the first trimester is because that's when the body's making the placenta, which takes up a lot of energy and nutrients.

Laura: And so your body is just, like, really out of balance because you're trying to build a whole placenta and stuff.

Laura: And then once that's made it's much easier on your body, I guess, because you can feed the baby easier.

Laura: I think that's why that so when that egg is conceived or whatever, like fertilised, is that stressful on the little mammal body or is that like a lower energy way of procreating?

Ron: Yeah, I imagine it's more stressful, but I do think this is probably a much lower energy way because the trade off with having an egg is like it's less risk to the mother, but then the baby comes out less developed.

Laura: Worth it, though, to not have to pass some shoulders.

Ron: Yeah, but two weeks, up to a month in the tum, then incubation of another six to ten days outside in the little nursery.

Ron: And then what's quite interesting is that the platypus the hatch out of the egg with an egg tooth.

Ron: That's very common for things that hatch out of eggs.

Ron: They have a special tooth for breaking out and a fleshy nub called a caruncle, which these are both like sort of what do they call them?

Ron: Like evolutionary artefacts from a reptilian past.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And then they suckle for a while.

Ron: They do make milk.

Ron: They are true mammals in that.

Laura: I hope they lose that little busty outy tooth before the suckling begins.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Usually it's on the tip of the nose and it comes off, like right afterwards.

Ron: It's a one and done egg tooth.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Not interested in breastfeeding something that's got a can opener on its face.

Ron: No.

Ron: Or a car uncle, whatever that is.

Ron: Okay, are you ready for the best egg?

Laura: I'm ready for the best egg, Ron.

Ron: You're not going to like it.

Ron: Drum roll, please.

Laura: Ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket.

Ron: Mini eggs.

Laura: While I think you are a balan.

Ron: I also agree the best egg now, please remember that this list was going to be three science and two nonsense.

Ron: It's only because the balance has shifted the other way.

Ron: I think you'd have found it quite charming if it had just been Gordon Ramsay and MINIacs.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Can you just tell me about frogsborn or something, just to balance it?

Ron: I don't know about frogspawn.

Laura: All right, fair enough.

Laura: We'll do that next Easter.

Laura: Frogspawn special.

Laura: I do love miniature, miniature colours of shell tea.

Ron: The original colours were white, yellow, pink and light blue.

Ron: In Canada in 2010, the colours were switched to yellow, pink, green and turquoise.

Laura: Oh.

Laura: Hello, Canadian listeners.

Laura: Let us know if this is accurate.

Ron: Yeah, they were invented in the 20th century.

Ron: They were previously produced in the Keensham plant in Somerset, UK.

Laura: Oh, that's where we're from.

Ron: Previously, though as of Feb 2010, poland.

Laura: Hello, Polish listeners.

Laura: Do you live near the mini eggplant has been difficult to swap all the mini hens over to Poland.

Laura: I wonder if they flew them or just a big barge full of chocolate producing borides.

Ron: Well, that's the thing.

Ron: There's been different types of mini eggs and therefore different types of mini hens the whole time.

Ron: Shimmering eggs, metallic coloured shells.

Ron: Dark mini eggs.

Ron: Dark chocolate popping mini eggs.

Laura: Pops when milk love popping chocolate candy.

Laura: I hate popping, popping chocolate.

Laura: Orange is my favourite.

Ron: Micro mini eggs.

Ron: Even smaller variants.

Laura: Micro eggs.

Laura: The mini is redundant.

Ron: White mini eggs.

Ron: White mini eggs with white chocolate inside.

Ron: Mini eggs.

Laura: I love mini eggs.

Laura: You're not wrong.

Laura: And the spin off products of mini eggs are also delicious.

Laura: Like little mini egg cake things.

Laura: Lovely.

Ron: The best seasonal chalk.

Laura: One of a good one.

Laura: Can you stop fiddling with whatever you're fiddling with, you fiddle?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I love Terry chocolate orange.

Laura: I love a.

Laura: Lot of seasonal chalk, but mini eggs, they're the best.

Laura: Chocolate, definitely.

Laura: Mortista bunnies are also great.

Ron: Yeah, but mini eggs are just best.

Laura: Thing with mini eggs, though, is that you want to eat a gross amount of them.

Laura: Like, one Maltese bunny is good and I'm fine with that, but if I'm going to have mini eggs, you best believe I'm eating the entire bag.

Ron: Yeah?

Ron: Oh, yeah.

Ron: Do you remember when you moved out this time?

Ron: At one point, Mum just had, like a box, like the size of, like, three shoe boxes just full of mini eggs.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Was that when she's got weirdly guardy about chocolate?

Ron: Maybe she has so much of it and the rest of us have so.

Laura: Little because she buys it for herself and then we just expect to be given it.

Laura: We could buy our own hoards.

Ron: It like a chocolate dragon.

Laura: Well, when she comes to visit you next week, just fill your cupboards with chocolate and then don't let her have any.

Laura: Oh, well, let's be really petty for the rest of our lives.

Laura: Well, thank you, Ron, for counting down the eggs for me there.

Ron: You didn't like it?

Laura: I liked it.

Laura: I liked more of the animal kingdom stuff than some of the other stuff.

Laura: But listen, I love a mini egg.

Laura: I enjoyed the Faberge eggs.

Laura: I think it was just the Gordon Ramsay bit that made me cross.

Ron: That was the only bit I was passionate about.

Laura: I'd say that.

Laura: The echidna eggs.

Laura: No.

Laura: What was it?

Laura: The platypus egg.

Laura: That was my favourite bit.

Ron: Yeah, I like the Elephant Bird egg now.

Ron: Patrons, non patrons.

Ron: 60 patrons by the end of the week.

Ron: Egerthorn me.

Ron: Laura Twitch 30 eggs, 70 live cook along with Ron Gordon fancy scrambled eggs.

Laura: Well, happy Easter, everybody, and we love you and we hope you love us.

Laura: Eggs dismissed.

Laura: Are you not going to say goodbye?

Ron: You said eggs dismissed.

Ron: Bye.

Laura: Why do you say it so bye?

Laura: You can say eggs dismissed if you like.

Ron: East class east.

Ron: East.

Ron: Jesus despised.

Ron: But it'll come back.

Laura: I had a pamphlet through from the Jehovah's Witnesses this morning that was like, you are invited to Jesus's memorial.

Laura: And it was all about east.

Laura: It really made it sound like I should pop down to the village hall.