How Would You Arrive At A Paella Stand

 Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education, the comedy science podcast, where comedian me, Laura Lexx, tries to learn science from her at a brunch.

Laura: Brother Ron on.

Ron: Hey.

Ron: Hello.

Ron: It's me, brunch.

Laura: You look so funny.

Laura: Right now, Ron is in Bristol wearing, like, proper over the ear podcaster headphones in a loud orange shirt, holding a handheld like, SM 50 microphone.

Laura: You look like a shock jock.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Tweet this out.

Ron: This is the look of the new podcast.

Laura: There's also such a delay on the clean feed.

Ron: Yeah, it's great.

Ron: We'll edit that all out in post.

Laura: How are you, Ron?

Ron: Giddy giddy.

Ron: Brunch.

Laura: Have you been brunch?

Laura: Drinking?

Laura: I'm on the oh, we lead such different lives.

Ron: Drunken a lot of these records these days.

Laura: You are.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: I don't even know how to introduce this week's episode.

Laura: It is the least responsible for the mess that this podcast is that I have ever been.

Laura: This week is entirely on you.

Laura: And I just want to say, if you're listening to this and you're not completely in love with this podcast, don't listen to this episode because you have to adore it with every fibre of your being to cope.

Ron: Why was I so full when we.

Laura: Were doing the because we just had paella.

Laura: Oh, what, in the quiz?

Laura: You'd been out for work drinks and you came home drunk after a work drink?

Laura: Yeah, I think so.

Ron: That sounds like me.

Laura: We were up in the loft recording, remember?

Ron: No.

Laura: God.

Laura: Well, there you go.

Laura: So, listen, I think the drunken you annoyed me less than the olive eating you.

Laura: Olive eating you while I was editing this made me want to smack you about the head with a Pyella pan.

Ron: I hope you saved all of the lip smagging and finger licking for a super cut of olive eating that we can release on the patreon.

Laura: I honestly cut as much of it as I could.

Laura: And you're going to listen to this episode and not believe me at all.

Laura: You're going to think I've left it all in.

Laura: I saved you from as much of it as I could.

Laura: I'm so sorry about Ron.

Laura: That said, I want to say ASMR.

Ron: For real.

Laura: Oh, and it's torture for everybody else.

Laura: Anyway, thank you, Lynn, for your lovely instagram post about the podcast.

Laura: We really enjoyed that.

Laura: It filled us with a lot of cheer and lyn bought Boggle because of us.

Laura: Ron.

Ron: Yeah, I saw that.

Ron: I think we set such a low bar that it spurred people into Boggle.

Laura: We're just influencers now.

Laura: We're selling so much kitchenware and Boggle.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Anyway, let us influence you into coming to the London Podcast Festival.

Laura: Hey.

Laura: 16 September at 02:00 P.m..

Laura: What are you doing?

Laura: Oh, that's right.

Laura: You're coming to a live version of Lexx Education.

Laura: We want to see you there.

Laura: Go to London Podcast Festival website or King's Place in Kings Cross in London and get tickets and come and see us.

Laura: And now I'm so sorry you have to listen to this lesson.

Ron: Almost certainly.

Ron: Both be drunk for that.

Laura: Almost certainly.

Laura: Hondo, hondo.

Laura: It's physics.

Ron: The delay is really bad.

Laura: It's terrible.

Laura: I'm going to stop the video.

Laura: I don't need to watch you swinging backwards and forwards.

Laura: Yeah, listen, Ron, the intros at least need to be smooth because the lesson is an absolute quagmire.

Ron: Okay?

Ron: Professional face is on.

Laura: There's just no point pulling a professional face when I've turned the video off and it's a f****** podcast.

Laura: Anyway, enjoy the episode.

Laura: We'll see you afterwards.

Ron: Will Duggan's blanking me at the moment.

Laura: Is he?

Laura: Why, because you took your vinyl back?

Ron: No, because I offered to babysit.

Laura: What?

Laura: Why doesn't he trust you with his baby?

Ron: No, I very kindly said I was like, if, you know, want me to babysit and you guys can pop out and have hang out together without this baby, yeah, that's fine.

Ron: I'm not doing anything.

Ron: I'll just play minecraft at your house with Laura rather than minecraft at Laura's house with Laura.

Ron: And then we drunk several bottles of wine when I offered, so I thought I'd reiterate over.

Ron: WhatsApp about this?

Ron: Again, not replied.

Laura: Well, that's funny, because I talked to him about that on Sunday when I saw him at that party, and he was like, yeah, mind you, he did get so drunk at that party on Sunday.

Laura: He was drunker than I was.

Laura: Christ, I had a horrible flashback to that party.

Laura: You know when you're so drunk and you're like, I think I was reasonable, but then, like, snippets of conversation and all I can remember is me very clearly going, no, it's not b******* I'm bad at, it's hand jobs.

Laura: Oh, crap.

Laura: Who was I talking to?

Laura: What was the context?

Laura: How did we get there?

Laura: It was at that point Tom took me home.

Laura: But I stand by it.

Laura: I am rubbish.

Ron: Okay, no more wine for you, Laura.

Laura: We're doing physics, okay?

Laura: I haven't really got the energy to argue with you about it today, Ron.

Ron: I've got no energy to push us through.

Ron: Uh oh, this is gonna suck.

Laura: No, it isn't.

Laura: Let's just be nice.

Laura: Let's just do a nice podcast.

Laura: Let's do, like, a cool kids podcast where it's just like, oh, hey, babe, how have you been?

Laura: Tell me.

Laura: Oh, this hilarious anecdote.

Ron: I've got my guest Laura here today and she's going to say her favourite beans that she wants to put in a chilli.

Laura: The difficulty with me being on this podcast is I don't really like chilli.

Ron: Got to fire my agent.

Laura: Your agent books your podcast.

Ron: Guests gosh about the only thing they.

Laura: Do I'm not good at emphasising the oil man.

Ron: One time that was a really good joke.

Laura: That was a great joke.

Laura: One time Ron was staying here with my parents.

Laura: Had we just moved in or something?

Laura: No.

Laura: Maybe you lived in Brighton.

Laura: That was when you lived in Brighton and so you were over and Mum and dad were down and I think you and dad were arguing very much about politics in the kitchen.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And me, Mum and Tom were, like, chilling out vibing in the lounge.

Laura: And then Mum wanted Tom to put on an improv show and Tom was quite rightly, refusing point blank.

Laura: And so I said I'd do one.

Laura: And then we prized you out of the kitchen political argument to come and improvise.

Laura: And you created the character of the oil man.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: No idea if the oil man was there to sell oil.

Laura: Buy oil.

Ron: The door was really creaky.

Laura: Oil man.

Laura: Did I do the creaky door or you?

Ron: No, me.

Laura: It was a really good just how.

Ron: Come, like small nugget of a joke.

Laura: How did you know that the door was creaky before?

Ron: Because I made the f****** noise with my mouth.

Laura: But the oil man how did the oil man know?

Laura: Doesn't matter.

Ron: It's absurd.

Laura: It improved quality.

Laura: It's a good bit.

Laura: None of you got the creaky door oil the hinges.

Laura: I thought you were like the filling up the oil tank.

Laura: Like we weren't on the mains gas supply.

Laura: I thought you were just breaking in to fill up the oil.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: I wondered why no one was laughing with me.

Laura: Everyone was laughing at me.

Laura: No one understood about the oil man.

Ron: I'm still proud of that joke.

Laura: I didn't know it was a joke.

Laura: I thought you were just panicking.

Ron: Oil man's here to oil these hinges.

Laura: You should have said that.

Ron: No, because in my mind, I'd have had props like one of those genie lamps that people used to.

Laura: Robert the Robot has one of those on Justin's house.

Ron: That's not all he has.

Laura: Isn't it?

Laura: When he oils himself, when he goes on a date.

Ron: I said that's not all he has.

Laura: Oh, what do you mean?

Laura: You hate Robert the robot.

Ron: I hate everything about Justin and the people in his house.

Laura: Even little monster.

Ron: Little monster's fine.

Laura: I'm sure if she had fat mouth.

Ron: And there'd be awful things coming out of it.

Laura: Which character do you most identify with?

Ron: Sally Phillips.

Laura: Oh, she came around to try and buy the house.

Laura: I love Sally Phillips.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Let's have her on the podcast.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Can't you know anything about her?

Laura: She's really yeah.

Ron: Yeah, she could come on and teach us how to be nice.

Laura: We are nice, just not to each other.

Ron: We are quite nice to each other, just not when we're recording.

Laura: No.

Ron: Or when we're playing minecraft and it's.

Laura: Gone on a slippery slope during this visit.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: We need some time apart.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: You need to appreciate me again.

Ron: I need to go hang out with Sally Phillips for a bit.

Laura: Let's ask her.

Ron: All right.

Laura: All right.

Laura: I'll get in contact with Sally Phillips.

Ron: We're going to guest Mad Dara.

Laura: Sally Phillips only one of them has happened or will happen.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I don't think we should do more guests.

Ron: I didn't get to speak at all.

Laura: No.

Laura: I don't know if that was you panicking or just dara's really good at just keeping a thing going.

Ron: The thing is, it's kind of like know, Pointless was happening, and then they invited someone on who just also had a laptop and funny quips, but was better at it than Richard Osmond.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: He took your job.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: It's almost like wait, no.

Ron: What it's like is if I was on Pointless with the laptop doing quips with ALexxander Armstrong, but then they brought Richard Osmond.

Laura: You're better than Richard.

Laura: He doesn't do it anymore.

Ron: I'm not better than Richard Osmond.

Ron: Yeah, you are such a calming vibe.

Laura: You're just buying into the patriarchy, Ron.

Laura: He's just a tall man with a deep why does that trump everything else?

Ron: He's huge.

Ron: It's calming.

Laura: I've seen him at Cambridge Railway Station.

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

Ron: And he says nice things.

Laura: Do you want me to get Richard arsenal on the poggers?

Laura: Is that where this is going?

Laura: No, you're getting further and further away from the microphone.

Ron: No.

Laura: Well, that's too loud now.

Laura: It's peeking.

Laura: Look what you've done.

Laura: Look at that shape.

Laura: You shut up.

Laura: Is it good physics?

Ron: No, it's the same s**** we've been waiting through for ages.

Laura: What is it?

Laura: What have we been doing?

Ron: Paella.

Laura: We just ate paella.

Ron: Yeah, it's all connecting up quite nicely.

Ron: I can see the pyella pan, the one that betrayed me over there.

Laura: Yeah, sorry about that, Ron, but I liked it.

Ron: It was tasty.

Ron: The texture was off.

Laura: Hey, the texture was a little wet.

Ron: It was a wet pyella.

Laura: No, it wasn't a wet pile.

Laura: It wasn't wet.

Ron: It was wet.

Laura: Wasn't wet.

Ron: It was wetter than it should be.

Laura: I'll tell you what it missed.

Laura: It just it needed the chorizo kick.

Laura: That was all it needed.

Laura: And that's my fault that that wasn't there.

Laura: But I don't want to eat pigs.

Laura: And vegetarian chorizo is probably terrible, which.

Ron: Is interesting, because chorizo is not really about the pork, is it?

Ron: It's spicy fat.

Laura: It's the texture.

Laura: Vegetarian meat is very good at being squishy, it's terrible at being chewy.

Ron: But if you could get that texture into tofu and then you fried the f*** out of it.

Laura: Yeah, but it's never got enough resistance.

Laura: Like, I had vegetarian pepperamis the other day.

Laura: Hateful texture.

Laura: Absolutely hateful.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: I think the worst imitation vegetarian thing any vegetarian bacon I've ever had.

Ron: It's just awful.

Laura: Yeah, I don't five weeks I realised.

Ron: I don't like bacon.

Laura: I do.

Ron: I was at a hotel for two.

Ron: I had two breakfasts at this hotel.

Ron: I never dipped into the bacon.

Ron: First day, I had a normal sausage and a Cumberland.

Ron: Second Day Two Cumberlands yeah.

Ron: That was all the meat I had.

Laura: How are you having your eggs?

Ron: There were fried ones because I can scramble an egg better than these professional chefs who then leave it in a tray, I'm sure.

Ron: Like one on one tet or tet in a kitchen, they'd probably scramble just as good an egg as me.

Ron: Maybe not better.

Laura: You make Gordon Bacon's scrambled eggs.

Ron: I do make Gordon Ramsey's scrambled eggs.

Ron: Yeah, I'm sure they do, too.

Ron: They're in the know, they're in the industry.

Ron: They deal an egg.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What else was there?

Ron: Hash browns.

Ron: Good ones.

Laura: I love hash browns.

Ron: Deep fried as.

Ron: Hash browns.

Ron: Should be hash browns and brie mushrooms.

Laura: But mushrooms are always sweaty in a hotel.

Ron: Yeah, they do.

Ron: Like the whole mushrooms where you want them sliced and fried in butter till brown.

Ron: Then there was beans, ketchup and brown sauce.

Laura: Brown sauce?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Croissants.

Ron: There were croissants and other small pastries.

Ron: Now, here's a real bugbear of mine about the hotel breakfast.

Ron: Those toasters where you put it on the conveyor belt and then it goes drop so inefficient, because that filament is just always on and b, takes ages.

Ron: And I had to put them through twice for a sufficient brown.

Laura: Sufficient brown feels like a tick box on a doctor's medical, is this patient.

Ron: Making moderate yellow sufficient brown?

Ron: Then there was loads of, like, melanin.

Ron: Loads of melanin stuff.

Ron: I don't know who's going for that.

Laura: I think you might have fallen in love with office life too much, with how much it feels like office.

Ron: I saw a guy load up his plate.

Laura: Was it a mirror?

Ron: I s*** you not.

Ron: No.

Ron: He was waiting for the fried eggs.

Ron: That's why I noticed him, because he was waiting in front of an empty space.

Ron: And I was like, this man seems like he's onto something.

Ron: He's quite large.

Laura: He's doing an egg.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And it's like, okay.

Ron: A queue behind him.

Ron: Cool.

Ron: Eggs.

Ron: I love eggs.

Laura: You just saw a man waiting and thought, I've got the same taste in breakfast as him.

Laura: I'm getting in that.

Ron: I hadn't seen his plate yet.

Ron: And he looked like a man that knew his way around a hotel breakfast.

Ron: He did not.

Ron: And then he took his eggs and then he walked away.

Ron: I didn't see what was on his plate just yet.

Ron: Then when I'm toasting my bread and it's going through, it's going through, it's going through.

Ron: And drop back on sufficient brown, he was there toasting a muffin.

Ron: I realised you shouldn't be toasting a muffin in this thing.

Ron: It said sliced bread only.

Ron: Yeah, he was toasting a muffin in there.

Ron: And then I looked at his plate, he had this toasted muffin, a bunch of bacon, eggs, melon.

Ron: And then I s*** you not, nine butters, no bread.

Laura: He's just going to butter the bacon.

Ron: Buttermelon, I think.

Laura: I reckon when you left, he buttered the bacon and sent it round the toasting machine.

Laura: He was just buttering everything on his plate and sending it round.

Ron: Now, that would be a thing.

Laura: Where are you going?

Ron: Getting a drink.

Laura: He's gone for more beer, listeners.

Laura: I already finished my wine.

Ron: Ross.

Ron: That's an apparativo.

Ron: They're not very nice.

Laura: There's green ones in pesto in there.

Ron: Try these ones.

Ron: Oh, yeah.

Ron: Bags of flavour, right?

Ron: It's footy.

Laura: Oh, are they cheesy?

Laura: Oh, excuse me.

Laura: A little podcast fart.

Laura: Little pod fart.

Ron: Fartcast.

Laura: It's fartcast with Iona and Lem.

Ron: Iona's, the Scottish lady.

Ron: The brunette from the factory.

Laura: I love it.

Ron: Wow.

Ron: Don't know if you heard that listener.

Laura: Some stuff was on the move.

Laura: That was an internal noise.

Laura: That wasn't a fart.

Ron: Yeah, I believe it had bass.

Laura: Sometimes people think my tummy noises are farts and they are not.

Laura: You know it's a fart.

Ron: They're pre farts, though.

Laura: There's a giggle.

Ron: One more.

Ron: Alright, let's do some podcasts.

Laura: Should I tell you about I upset Tom the other day.

Laura: Tom famously hates farts.

Ron: He hates our bum jokes.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: And I walked into the kitchen and I heard him fart in the lounge.

Laura: Now, he never farts in front of me, ever.

Laura: So I ran into the lounge and started sniffing furiously around him.

Laura: He was so upset.

Laura: Get away from me.

Laura: Stop it.

Laura: It's not funny.

Laura: Go away.

Laura: I thought you'd gone outside.

Ron: I was in, but it was funny.

Ron: I was in a meeting room the other day with the other industry big wigs granting the Business Quarterly.

Ron: I needed the bathroom, so I left and I started walking through the lobby of this office that I was working in.

Ron: And then as I turned a corner, like, in the office, to go through a door to go to the toilet, I realised I did not need the loo.

Ron: It's just quite a large fart that was about to come.

Ron: So I lifted one leg rinsed while spinning on the spot, farted really loudly, and then was like, oh, s***.

Ron: I did not scope the room, turned around, made eye contact with the receptionist and walked back into the office I was working in.

Laura: Wow.

Laura: She is telling people about how hateful businessmen are because of you.

Ron: I'm a cool businessman.

Laura: No, no, you walk into the lobbies and fart on receptionists.

Ron: Pretty cool.

Ron: So Elon Musk does.

Laura: It.

Ron: Quite firm.

Laura: I wish we weren't eating these olives, because I'm currently editing an episode where you just eat an apple randomly and it's just the worst.

Ron: Right, so we're on 6.5.4.

Laura: How come I could remember that?

Ron: Point five point four, point one, point five point five.

Ron: Six point four point five point one.

Laura: Came around and never went down and.

Ron: They blew blue, blue, blue.

Ron: Right.

Ron: Do you remember what we were doing last time?

Laura: Let's get smashed tonight.

Ron: We'll need more booze.

Ron: Nah, there's quite a lot of yeah, put some of that put some of the bubly in the fridge.

Laura: Just get some champagne on.

Laura: Tom gets home and we're just hammered.

Ron: Put it in the fridge.

Ron: Can you remember what we were doing last time in physics?

Ron: Oh, wow.

Laura: Photosynthesis.

Ron: 718 minutes.

Laura: Photosynthesis in physics?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Is that physics?

Laura: No, it was biology.

Laura: But we were doing it were we doing it in chemistry?

Laura: We were doing it outside of biology.

Ron: What were we doing in physics?

Laura: What?

Ron: What were we doing in our last physics episode?

Laura: I said I'm answering.

Ron: No, you're not.

Laura: Please don't be rude.

Ron: We were doing Pyella.

Laura: Oh, gosh.

Laura: Triangles.

Laura: Displacement.

Ron: Yeah, displacement.

Ron: Scalars vectors.

Laura: We finished that, though.

Ron: No, we didn't.

Laura: I think we did.

Ron: Now we're doing acceleration.

Ron: Laura, do you know what acceleration is?

Laura: Your speed increasing?

Ron: Not necessarily.

Ron: Oh, well, then no, acceleration is a change in well, actually, you have to be nice as well.

Laura: F*** you.

Laura: Because you started it.

Ron: Let's both be nice.

Ron: Shake hands.

Ron: Shake hands.

Laura: Shake hands.

Ron: We'll both shake this pen.

Laura: Like, together, we'll shake this pen.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Have we been nice?

Ron: It's actually not got anything to do with a change of speed.

Ron: Laura are you sure?

Laura: Ron?

Laura: That sounds like nonsense.

Ron: It's not.

Ron: What could it be?

Laura: Change velocity.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: You can't escape my velocity the way that I speed.

Laura: The way that I Cromp.

Laura: Cromp coin.

Laura: Rod and I've been playing a game called Cook Serve Delicious Three, and it has the most confusing points.

Ron: It makes you sound like an NFT bro.

Ron: When you play.

Ron: It like, I got to reach the next Yarm rank to get another Crumb coin.

Laura: It's so weird.

Laura: You basically drive a food truck round and you serve food, but each thing happens in a different state, and they pay you in their own state coin.

Laura: But then the game translates that into US dollars, just in case you wondered.

Laura: But also into Kwomp coin, which is what the game works in.

Laura: And then there's yum ranks.

Ron: There's parts for the van.

Ron: There's a robot called Whisk and Cleaver.

Ron: Yeah, that's a cool name for a robot.

Ron: Whisk is not whisk.

Laura: Business.

Ron: The game keeps going on Whisk.

Laura: Ebenezer business.

Laura: Whiskey business.

Ron: Why were you saying ebenezer?

Ron: But that's the name of a famous businessman.

Ron: Ebenezer Scrooge.

Laura: He wasn't a businessman.

Ron: Yes, he was.

Laura: No.

Ron: Where do you think Tiny Tim worked?

Ron: Laura or Tiny Tim's dad?

Ron: Tiny Tim's dad.

Laura: Tim cropchit or Tiny Tim's?

Ron: Dad.

Laura: Mr.

Laura: Tiny Tim.

Ron: Big Tim.

Laura: Big Tim.

Laura: I never thought of him as a businessman.

Laura: Of course he was.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: A man of business.

Laura: Is that where your head went?

Laura: I thought ebenezer good.

Laura: Ebony's are good.

Ron: Who?

Laura: What?

Ron: What's ebenezer good?

Laura: The song.

Ron: What song?

Laura: Ebenezer good.

Ron: What are you saying?

Laura: Is it the Happy Mondays?

Laura: Stephanie got bears in the video.

Ron: Who's bears?

Laura: Wow.

Laura: You're so young.

Laura: Ebony's are good.

Laura: Ebony's are good.

Laura: Stop saying that your go to ebenezer is Scrooge.

Ron: Of course it is.

Ron: Everyone's go to on ebenezer is scrooge.

Laura: Mine's good.

Ron: That's like saying that you go to Jesus'christ.

Laura: Acceleration.

Ron: The change in velocity over time.

Ron: You want to write that down?

Laura: Change?

Ron: How do you think you write down change in velocity?

Laura: C-H-A-N-G-E-I-N-V-E-L-O-C-I-T-Y.

Ron: Don't be a bag in a formula.

Ron: A for acceleration equals A equals little A.

Laura: Equals E big E little V.

Ron: Why would it ever be that E.

Laura: Might stand for change?

Ron: No, we know what stands for change.

Ron: Cast your mind back.

Ron: M.

Ron: No.

Ron: C?

Ron: No.

Laura: P?

Ron: No.

Laura: Question mark.

Ron: No.

Laura: A tree.

Ron: No.

Laura: Scrabula?

Ron: No.

Ron: You're closer with that one.

Laura: Infinity sign.

Laura: A star.

Ron: It is a star.

Laura: It's a star.

Laura: No, I was going to say feel like I'd remember if there'd been stars.

Laura: I wouldn't.

Ron: What was one of the first formulas that we went through?

Laura: A squared plus B squared is C squared.

Ron: We've never done Pythagoras.

Ron: Why would we as we have?

Laura: We did it in Scalar.

Ron: And that was the first 157 episodes in.

Laura: H 20.

Laura: H 612.

Laura: Christmas.

Laura: Oranges.

Ron: No.

Ron: Think.

Ron: Cast your mind back.

Laura: Electrons, atoms, formulas.

Laura: Gold foil.

Ron: Early physics.

Ron: Macdef.

Laura: Triangle.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Delta.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Not just randomly.

Ron: A capital E.

Ron: Delta.

Laura: Oh, delta looks nice next to a.

Ron: V.

Ron: So little A equals delta V over.

Ron: But it's change in velocity over time.

Laura: Is there a symbol for time?

Ron: What's time?

Ron: Michelin.

Laura: Clocks.

Laura: Seconds.

Laura: Minutes.

Ron: No.

Ron: Sex.

Laura: Days.

Ron: Seconds.

Ron: Seconds.

Laura: Months and years without you.

Laura: OOH, a sexy song about a breakup just listing time.

Laura: And then the oil man.

Ron: Seconds.

Laura: Seconds.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: S now, Laura.

Laura: Yes?

Ron: You're dividing a whole equation by seconds.

Ron: Are you?

Laura: Is that not what you said?

Laura: Divide it all by seconds.

Ron: Can you have an equal sign in the middle of the question?

Laura: No, Ron, can I not just don't ask me the answer.

Laura: Tell me it, and then we skew a whole section.

Ron: What does equals mean?

Laura: Same as.

Ron: So could you divide an equal sign by something?

Laura: No.

Laura: But you didn't divide both sides.

Laura: That's just the middle of the seesaw.

Laura: Where do you want stuff to be?

Ron: Is acceleration getting divided by the time?

Laura: Well, you said to do it over.

Ron: F.

Ron: I said acceleration equals the change in velocity over time.

Laura: I know.

Laura: To you, a triangle and a V sitting above quote.

Laura: Old episodes like that mean something that you're like.

Laura: It's so silly that the line and the S are under the A.

Laura: What kind of banana made this happen?

Laura: That's not how I read a piece of paper.

Laura: The s and the line can go anywhere.

Ron: Laura, we don't do a podcast where one of us informs the other one on something incredibly niche and difficult.

Ron: We do a podcast where I teach you things that 15 year olds know that it takes me less than 20 minutes when I glance at the syllabus to catch up on.

Laura: Maybe if you did less glancing and more thinking about how to teach it to me, we wouldn't be in this mess.

Ron: Maybe if you employed a modicum of critical faculty.

Laura: I won't.

Laura: I try.

Laura: I remembered a triangle.

Ron: No, you didn't.

Ron: I had to tell you that.

Laura: You said Macdeth and I remembered Triangle.

Ron: Yeah, but you should just know that delta means the change in something.

Laura: We haven't done that for months.

Laura: You want me to just hang around with that triangle?

Ron: Yes.

Laura: No.

Laura: I won't be that person.

Laura: I won't do it myself.

Ron: Are you putting the Prosecco in the fridge?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Whoa.

Ron: She's putting two bottles in the fridge.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Laura now, the next thing that we need to do is we need to work out what the unit of acceleration is.

Laura: Gareth christ, let me think.

Laura: Speed is, like, metres per second.

Laura: So acceleration must be something to do with that, because it's like metres per second, but on an angle, isn't it?

Laura: On the right lines.

Ron: I don't know what you mean by on an angle.

Laura: Like, it's changing.

Laura: You know, the metres per second is, like, on a tilt, like some fresh.

Ron: Air into this room that's just like.

Laura: Every door in the house is open.

Ron: Not this window.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: You are such a d*******.

Laura: How does the metres per second change?

Laura: So the metres per second are happening and then they're getting steeper.

Laura: So it's like metres per second squared or something?

Ron: It is metres per second squared.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: Fanfare.

Laura: Over the rainbow.

Ron: Double break.

Laura: No, because editing this episode is so s***, it's very hard to make Dobble entertaining to listen to.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Snowmen.

Laura: I can't believe we had Dara Brian on.

Laura: We welcomed loads of new listeners and then we just pushed them all off a balcony with Dobble.

Ron: That was boggle.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: This is dobble.

Laura: Oh, Dobble.

Ron: Double brick.

Laura: Yeah, well, obviously I want to play double.

Ron: The perennial problem with this podcast is.

Laura: That nobody wants to do it.

Ron: Not only that, as long I don't.

Laura: Want to do the podcast, I don't want to do the science.

Ron: Yeah, but the less physics we do, the longer we stay in this swamp.

Laura: Stop suggesting better options.

Laura: I got that bit right.

Laura: I don't understand how that wasn't like a gleeful wave.

Laura: That's like swimming us into the next bit.

Laura: Yeah, that is your f****** job, is to be that guy.

Laura: I really want some chocolate.

Ron: I mean, foot olives.

Ron: Yeah, these are bad.

Laura: I don't think you don't like olives.

Ron: I do.

Ron: The olives you bought bad.

Laura: It's like having a really ungrateful furniture.

Laura: It wasn't even great.

Laura: Goodbye.

Laura: Thanks, Mr Woodworm.

Laura: While you're here, give me a nosebleed about science.

Ron: They are Moorish.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Yes, Ron.

Ron: Cast your mind back.

Laura: Stop saying that.

Laura: I won't.

Laura: It can't go back.

Laura: I just live in the moment.

Laura: I hate the moment, actually.

Laura: I don't live in the moment.

Laura: I live in fear of the future.

Ron: I just wish it was 2002 again.

Laura: What happened in 2002?

Ron: Just best music in the world was coming out.

Laura: Well, that music still exists.

Ron: Yeah, but also I was seven.

Laura: You were seven in 2002?

Laura: You are creepy.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: The best music was coming out when you were seven?

Laura: Yeah, 2002.

Laura: The best music in the world.

Laura: Was the matter with you?

Laura: What was coming out in 2002?

Ron: Thick Freakness by the blank yeast room on fire by the straight I weren't.

Laura: Listening to that at seven.

Ron: No.

Laura: So do you want to be seven again or do you want to be your age?

Laura: But it's 2002.

Ron: I want to be my brain seven year old me.

Laura: You kind of were.

Laura: You were no different when you were seven.

Ron: If someone hadn't introduced me to this music, maybe I'd listen to it.

Laura: Oh, so it's someone else's fault?

Ron: No.

Ron: Happen chance.

Laura: Who's showing a seven year old thicky Freak?

Laura: What was it called?

Ron: Thick Freakness.

Laura: Thick Freakness.

Ron: F****** brilliant album.

Ron: I showed your daughter that earlier today.

Laura: Oh, she liked that?

Laura: Yeah, I do like it.

Laura: When she dances.

Laura: She puts her hands behind her.

Ron: Anyway, Laura, cast your mind backwards and.

Laura: Forwards and it's cute.

Ron: Cast your mind back to the pile.

Laura: Four score and seven years ago, do.

Ron: You know how much four score in seven years is?

Laura: 72.

Ron: No.

Laura: 55.

Ron: No.

Ron: 87.

Laura: There's a score 20.

Laura: Wow.

Ron: 55.

Laura: What?

Ron: 55 would mean a score was twelve.

Ron: That's already got a name.

Ron: That's a dozen.

Ron: Anyway, Laura, cast your mind back to the Pyella journey.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Now, I want you to draw another graph of the Pyella journey, but rather than it shut up.

Ron: But rather than it being distance, okay.

Ron: We're going to do a velocity over time.

Ron: All right?

Laura: I think in real science lessons, you'd see this graph and just copy it.

Ron: No.

Laura: Yeah, I think you would.

Laura: In my set.

Laura: You would.

Ron: That would be me doing a bad job if I just told you things because you'd forget.

Laura: I do forget.

Ron: Yeah, but I got content.

Laura: Oh hoyo coy hoy.

Ron: I'm going to stop eating olives now.

Ron: I'm pretty sure that's quite obnoxious for.

Laura: The yeah, it's terrible.

Laura: This is a bad podcast by bad people.

Ron: Laura?

Laura: Yes?

Ron: Can you do the graph?

Laura: No, because I don't know what it's going to look like.

Ron: Work it out.

Laura: I can't.

Ron: They let you drive cars and raise a child.

Laura: Yeah, I'm really good at one of those things.

Laura: How about I do the axes?

Ron: Just do it.

Laura: What do you want me to do?

Laura: Velocity.

Ron: No.

Ron: Yeah, velocity.

Laura: There's a scribble now, because of you time.

Ron: Time.

Ron: So at the start of the journey, what's our velocity?

Laura: Twelve.

Laura: Four.

Ron: Well, no, because at the start we're not moving, are we?

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: You said at the start of the journey yeah.

Ron: If I was already moving, I'd be halfway.

Ron: I'd be on the journey.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: Right, but what else?

Laura: No, if you'd said the bit before the journey, we're not moving at the start of the journey, I think we're moving.

Laura: If we're on the journey, I think.

Ron: The journey starts when you start moving.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: So you said at the.

Laura: Start of the journey.

Ron: So at 0 second, I'm not moving.

Laura: Why not?

Ron: Because I haven't started the f****** journey yet.

Laura: We have started, it's the start.

Ron: Yeah, but at 0 second, that's not.

Laura: The start of the journey yet.

Ron: Zero second.

Ron: Yeah, but that's where the graph starts.

Laura: Well, you didn't tell me that.

Ron: What are you talking about?

Ron: It's a f****** graph.

Laura: Yeah, but that line could be at minus two.

Laura: I don't think the line has to be zero.

Laura: The line doesn't have to be zeros.

Ron: But it is on this one.

Laura: Well, you didn't give me that information.

Ron: You drew the axes.

Laura: I didn't put any numbers on them.

Ron: Right, draw a zero in that corner then.

Laura: I will.

Ron: Now stop being petulant.

Laura: You're being petulant.

Ron: You're being pestilent.

Laura: You are being pesto lent, which is farty when you've eaten pesto.

Ron: And I have just eaten a lot of pesto covered almonds.

Laura: Now you almond.

Ron: Pesto covered almonds.

Ron: Although almond pesto is nice.

Laura: I put almonds in that curry we had yesterday.

Ron: Couldn't taste them.

Laura: They thicken a curry very nicely.

Ron: Yeah, like a cormer.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: All right, so 0 second.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Then what happens?

Laura: And zero velocity as well you want?

Ron: Well, it starts in that corner.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Okay, so put a little X there, marks the spot.

Ron: Then what happens?

Laura: Then up.

Laura: Time goes up.

Laura: Velocity goes up.

Laura: Yeah, up.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: Then what happens?

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: Paella.

Ron: What do you think happens?

Laura: Paella.

Ron: You're walking somewhere.

Ron: What do you think?

Laura: Are we stopping for paella?

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Right, so the time carries on, but the velocity stops because we stopped for paella.

Ron: Draw it and we'll talk.

Ron: About what?

Laura: The graph?

Laura: No, I said don't want to draw it.

Laura: Wrong.

Ron: Draw it.

Laura: I don't want to draw it.

Ron: You have a go and then we'll talk about what it means.

Laura: Let's talk about it together.

Ron: Okay, so what would it mean?

Ron: What would it look like if you did stop at that point?

Laura: Time would carry on, so it would go right.

Laura: But it wouldn't go up anymore.

Laura: So it'd be a flat line for.

Ron: A bit, but on the Y axis we've got velocity.

Ron: So if it stays at the same level, then you're travelling at a constant velocity.

Ron: So you've not stopped, have you?

Laura: What's velocity is?

Laura: Velocity feels like it should mean thickness.

Ron: You're thinking of viscosity.

Laura: I'm thinking of velvet.

Ron: No, you're thinking of viscosity.

Laura: I'm not.

Laura: I'm thinking of velvet.

Laura: Velvety.

Laura: Velvetine.

Laura: Velvet.

Laura: Thick, cushiony material.

Ron: Velocity.

Laura: I started listening to that podcast, velocity.

Ron: Is your speed in a direction.

Laura: And it made a little brain connection for me.

Laura: Ron right.

Laura: It's all about the phoenicians.

Laura: And they had the precursor to the Greek alphabet.

Laura: Right?

Laura: Ron and like, the second letter in the alphabet was bet, which was B, and bet meant house.

Laura: And so the symbol was just a little drawing of a house.

Laura: And the Phoenician alphabet was really popular because it was really easy to understand because it's just like, sounds like that.

Laura: It's that phoenician alphabet.

Laura: Phonetic alphabet.

Laura: That's where phonetic comes from.

Laura: Never made that connection before.

Ron: So velocity is speed in a direction.

Ron: It's a vector.

Laura: It's a bicycle town in France, the velocity.

Ron: So what would happen on the graph if you stopped?

Laura: It would go right back down to zero.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: So do you want us to slow down carefully as we approach the pyellavan or do you want us to, like, run up to it and screech to a halt?

Laura: Because the graph will reflect that.

Laura: Which one do you want?

Ron: But if you did that I broke my glass.

Ron: If you did that at this point.

Laura: Ron, I've broken my glass.

Ron: Just put them down then.

Laura: I've broken them.

Ron: Calm put things down or you broke them.

Laura: Do you want to go into town tomorrow morning?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: I've already made plans to go into town, though.

Laura: With who?

Ron: Tom.

Laura: What, you can town without me?

Ron: Yeah, you said you were working tomorrow.

Laura: I am.

Laura: At 04:00.

Ron: Yeah, I asked you if you wanted to go into town tomorrow days ago, and you said, I can't, I'm working.

Ron: So I made plans with Tom.

Ron: We can all go together.

Ron: We know each other.

Laura: I've broken my glasses, I can't see the grass.

Ron: So what would it mean if we stopped at this point of the I'm.

Laura: Asking you how you want to stop.

Ron: And we're delaying that question for a bit.

Ron: What would it mean if we stopped at this point?

Laura: We'd have to go to the bottom of the velocity.

Ron: But in terms of our journey so far, it would mean that we started off slowly and then we got faster and faster and faster until we stopped at the biela.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Is that what happens?

Ron: Is that how you walk somewhere?

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: If there's billa involved, I run to.

Ron: The yes, but you're not great at running.

Ron: You don't just get faster.

Laura: I do.

Ron: So what do you think a more natural journey would look like, Laura?

Laura: I'm trying small curvy.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: And crucially, what else have you drawn on that one?

Laura: A thick bit.

Ron: No, you've drawn a bit where it's a constant velocity.

Laura: It looks a bit like a p**** now.

Ron: Because at some point when you're walking somewhere, you're going to travel at a constant speed for a bit, aren't you?

Laura: You are.

Laura: Yeah, if that's what you want.

Ron: Okay, then we get to the Pyella stand.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Great.

Ron: What happens there, then?

Laura: How do you want to oh, God.

Ron: It doesn't matter.

Ron: Just draw a line.

Laura: You say it doesn't matter and then you quibble about whether or not I can run fast.

Ron: How would you arrive at a paella stand?

Ron: Just draw it that way.

Laura: Sweaty.

Ron: Just draw a line.

Laura: Hungry?

Laura: Okay.

Laura: I don't think you can be really finickety about some bits of the line and then proclaim not to care about other bits of the line.

Laura: Okay, I'm going to arrive casually cool.

Laura: So that they don't suspect how much Pyella I'm about to order.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: This was all such a small part of it.

Ron: Laura, what part of this graph that you've just drawn denotes the acceleration?

Laura: All of it.

Laura: The curves.

Laura: The curves.

Ron: What aspect of the curves?

Laura: How curvy they are?

Ron: No.

Laura: How straight they are?

Ron: No.

Laura: How steep?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: What's another word for steep?

Laura: Sharp.

Ron: What does the steepness describe?

Ron: The gradient of gradient.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So how do you work out the acceleration from the graph?

Laura: The gradient?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Maybe write that down.

Laura: The gradient.

Ron: Maybe.

Ron: We spent ten minutes on something.

Laura: Why?

Laura: If you just told it to me in the first place?

Ron: All right, let's do that for the rest of the lesson.

Laura: What?

Ron: The distance travelled by an object or displacement of an object can be calculated from the area under the velocity time graph.

Laura: No one can hear you're not talking to the microphone.

Ron: Students should be able to draw velocity time graphs from measurement peaking and interpret lines and slopes to determine an acceleration.

Ron: Higher tier only.

Ron: Interpret enclosed areas and velocity time graphs to determine distance travelled or displacement.

Ron: Higher tier only.

Ron: Again, measure when appropriate the area under a velocity time graph by counting the squares.

Laura: What squares?

Ron: You writing this down?

Laura: No.

Laura: You are being a p****.

Ron: The following equation ron applies.

Laura: Why can't you ever compromise?

Ron: You said you just wanted me to tell you everything.

Laura: No, you were angry at me that me working it out had taken a long time.

Laura: You can't want me to work it out and be annoyed if I work it out at my own pace and not want to tell me anything and be annoyed at telling me stuff.

Laura: You're being annoyed at all the versions of it.

Ron: That's not what's happened.

Laura: That's what's happened.

Laura: That's not what that's what's happened.

Ron: No, because you are spinning this yarn as if you were a model student from start to finish.

Laura: I tried.

Laura: I just don't know it.

Laura: It's going to take me some time to work out what the f*** you're talking about.

Ron: I was guiding you through it, then.

Laura: You were like, that took ten minutes instead of well done, Laura.

Laura: You know about the gradient.

Ron: You didn't say gradient.

Laura: I did, eventually.

Ron: You didn't know it's a word I brought to the table.

Laura: Well, I knew what it was.

Laura: And you needed this one specific word.

Ron: Yeah, that's how it works.

Laura: Yeah, but then why are you doing all this monotone chat now?

Ron: Because you asked me to just read it out.

Laura: Well, because you were annoyed at how long it took me to write down the word gradient.

Laura: If you want speed, that is a.

Ron: Value judgement you've taken from what I said.

Ron: I asked you to write it down.

Laura: Ten minutes that took that had its own value judgement.

Laura: That came not what I value judgement.

Laura: That's not what I the tape, your Honour.

Ron: I said we have to have spent ten minutes on something.

Laura: That's not how I remember.

Ron: That is what I said.

Laura: It's not.

Ron: I think we should stop.

Laura: We haven't done anything.

Ron: Yeah, we have.

Ron: We've done half a page.

Laura: Is that good?

Ron: Sometimes.

Laura: Teachers drunk.

Laura: Ron, I've my eye twitches back.

Ron: It sorry, I thought you said wrong.

Ron: If my eye twitch is back, I.

Laura: Don'T know if I can do a whole episode with you today.

Laura: You are.

Ron: A cube guy.

Laura: You're a giddy, uncontrollable boy.

Ron: I'm so full.

Laura: Can you look?

Laura: You know when I said the microphone needs to be a bit lower because of the desk?

Laura: You can't speak any quieter and you have moved about half a metre.

Ron: I'm too full.

Laura: That doesn't mean you have to sit down the other end of the room.

Ron: I like this configuration.

Laura: Cool.

Laura: Can you stay near the microphone so that this isn't a nightmare to edit?

Ron: I am.

Laura: What's?

Laura: Question one.

Ron: Do you remember what we were doing?

Laura: No, not even try.

Laura: Just two days ago, the ball.

Laura: No gravity, no triangles.

Laura: No triangles came into it, no scalars, no displacement, no digression theory.

Ron: I'm just going to ask you the first question.

Ron: What's the formula for working out?

Ron: Acceleration.

Laura: Oh, acceleration.

Laura: That's what we were doing.

Laura: It's metres per second squared.

Ron: No.

Laura: Isn't it?

Laura: No, I thought it's metres per second squared.

Ron: The formula.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Okay, so if I gave you some numbers yeah.

Ron: How would you plug that into metres per second squared?

Laura: Well, because the numbers would be metres and seconds and then I'd square them.

Ron: Okay.

Ron: So the numbers are eight metres and 15 seconds.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: So that would be 15 divided by eight squared.

Ron: Gone.

Laura: Hang on, let me find a calculator.

Laura: If you're humouring me, and this is not even close to right, then I'm going to be annoyed.

Laura: 15 divided by eight equals that seems like a high number.

Laura: Let's do eight divided by 15 instead.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: Okay.

Laura: And then squared point 28.

Laura: Four.

Ron: So you've done that maths wrong and no.

Ron: What does that mean?

Ron: 2.84 watts.

Ron: What does that mean?

Ron: What does that mean per second?

Laura: Acceleration.

Laura: Newton's force per hour.

Ron: You have such a weird thing where you just seem to never pick up on the social cues that I'm giving you.

Ron: Would I be talking like this or quizzing you like this, if what you were saying was correct or on the right?

Laura: But you got me to do the sum, so I thought maybe I yeah.

Ron: Because I thought you'd feel silly while doing it and I thought you'd throw the handbrake on, bail out the car.

Laura: Why would I feel silly doing a sum when you've asked me to do a sum?

Ron: Because metres per second.

Laura: So what that's, a formula?

Ron: Who cares?

Laura: M over s squared.

Laura: Why is that any less a formula than any other formula?

Ron: Because that doesn't mean anything.

Laura: None of this means anything.

Laura: It's all x pi coagulated on a filtrum nothing's important, but it's not a formula.

Laura: I don't know what a formula is, Ron.

Ron: Not that.

Ron: Also, you did the maths wrong.

Ron: Well, because you do the squaring first, don't you?

Laura: Bod, mass.

Ron: Bod mass, brackets, order.

Ron: That's, for some reason another word for the little numbers above.

Laura: Oh, I didn't know that.

Ron: Division, multiplication, addition, subtraction.

Laura: Well, I didn't know that.

Laura: Hang on, I'll see if this formula is in the book.

Laura: Let me have a look.

Ron: You're not getting any marks.

Laura: I am.

Laura: No, the book gets the mark.

Laura: Gosh, we've done a lot of episodes.

Laura: Oh.

Laura: Delta A equals delta V over S.

Ron: That's the correct answer?

Ron: Zero marks.

Ron: Laura, what's the unit of acceleration.

Laura: Metres per second?

Laura: Squared?

Ron: Yeah, see how that's a unit, not a formula?

Laura: Oh, well, then maybe you should have taught me at some point what a formula was.

Ron: What's the formula for uniform acceleration?

Laura: I don't know.

Laura: We didn't do that.

Ron: We did.

Laura: No, we didn't.

Ron: We did.

Laura: We didn't.

Laura: I made really good notes.

Ron: No, you didn't.

Laura: Yes, I did.

Ron: Well, apparently not.

Laura: You did not mention uniform acceleration.

Ron: We did.

Laura: Did you do it in that monosyllabic bit at the end?

Laura: That didn't count.

Laura: That was you being a sulky little.

Ron: Did count it's in the quiz bit.

Laura: No, it didn't count.

Laura: No points to you.

Ron: Do you want to know?

Laura: Sure.

Ron: V squared minus U squared equals two as well.

Laura: That's a load of bollocks, isn't it?

Ron: No, no, it's not.

Laura: That sounds like the lyrics to a Venga Boys song.

Laura: B squared plus U squared equals my broken heart.

Ron: You referenced the Venga Boys way too much on this podcast.

Laura: I think that's the second time it's ever happened.

Ron: Yeah, one time too many.

Laura: You didn't even know who they were the first time.

Ron: Exactly.

Ron: And I'm current.

Laura: You are not current.

Laura: You are an old man squashed into a boy's body.

Ron: No, I'm not.

Ron: I am like a 38 year old squashed into a 27 year old's body, because I told you, I told you yesterday how I thought the best music ever was made in 2002.

Laura: That is the most insane thing you've ever said, that the best music ever, ever in the history of humanity was being made in 2002.

Laura: Yeah, not even the musicians making music in 2002.

Laura: Agree with you on that one.

Ron: My dream gig would have happened in 2003.

Ron: Could have happened in 2003.

Ron: I don't think it's ever happened.

Ron: And then it would have been the Kings of Leon opening for The Strokes with the black keys playing in the middle.

Laura: That could happen now.

Ron: No, but the dream would have been it happening in 2003.

Laura: Why you'd have been why'd you get.

Ron: Hung up on that?

Laura: Because you can't just be an eight year old creep at a gig.

Ron: No, but it's about the albums that they had.

Ron: If they did that now, then 90% of the music they'd play, I wouldn't be that into because it's well past the peak of Music 2000 into it.

Laura: Then you were BOP into postman power.

Ron: I was eight.

Ron: But if I'd been 27 at the time, I'd have been having the time of my life okay.

Ron: I don't know why I think you don't get that.

Laura: Do you want like a formula for how happy you'd have been 27 squared -2002 equals smiley happy we're on it's.

Ron: Just it was a good year.

Laura: Oh hi no one cares.

Ron: Why are you being rude to me?

Laura: Because you're being horrible and giddy I'm not being horrible.

Ron: I am being giddy.

Laura: Question I got.

Ron: Right a question you read from the.

Laura: Book that I wrote down, right?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Well done.

Laura: Thank you.

Ron: I don't know why you think that warrants marks.

Laura: Because I said the right answer.

Laura: When I'm doing this in the exam, I'll only be repeating it out of the book.

Ron: You're not getting the book in the exam.

Ron: We're going to have a ceremonial bonfire before the exam.

Laura: Never ever burning my book.

Ron: Smear the ash on our faces.

Laura: Are there more questions?

Laura: Because I'd like to get on with my life.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: What part of a velocity over time graph denotes acceleration?

Ron: I want a one word answer.

Laura: Gradient.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Now, I know that it says the gradient here, but that according to this page is apropos of nothing.

Ron: So I'll still give it to you.

Ron: What as in this just says the gradient in pink writing.

Ron: It doesn't say the gradient means acceleration, just says the gradient.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Apropos of nothing.

Laura: Yeah, that's a helpful note.

Ron: That's why I'm saying yeah, we're on the same page.

Ron: Well done.

Laura: Yay.

Laura: A happy quiz.

Laura: I'm so glad a quiz went well.

Laura: It's been a while.

Laura: F***.

Ron: Thought that was going to be a graceful end for once.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Oak so there you go.

Laura: Is anybody even still listening?

Laura: That's the question.

Laura: Did anybody?

Laura: Make it through the entirety of episode 58?

Laura: Jesus, Ronald.

Ron: I loved it.

Ron: I think it's a deep cut, but a good one.

Ron: It's kind of like 80s Dylan.

Laura: And that's the vibe we want there.

Laura: We want to be that level of commercial success.

Ron: Oh, yeah.

Ron: I'm sure you turn your nose up at Bob Dylan levels of commercial success.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Laura: No, it's not for me.

Laura: Winning a Nobel Prize for literature.

Laura: No, thank you.

Laura: So, I mean, we did gradient.

Laura: That is the main takeaway from that episode, isn't it?

Laura: I think listing every item in a hotel breakfast has to be a new record for procrastination.

Ron: But I think we all enjoyed that chat.

Laura: Yeah, I mean, it wasn't even me procrastinating.

Ron: What about the butterman?

Laura: Yeah, buttermelon.

Ron: Because that's the thing.

Ron: But yeah, I'm allowed to procrastinate sometimes too.

Ron: Because you don't like hearing this stuff.

Ron: I have to read about it before, make notes about it and then explain it to you.

Ron: It ruins several days of my life sometimes.

Laura: Ron, we both know you are barely making any notes on the physics episodes.

Ron: Oh, I'm sorry.

Ron: How many times did you want me to write down the word gradient onto a piece of paper?

Laura: Giddy the podcast I mentioned.

Laura: It's the Carthage episode of fall of civilizations.

Laura: That's the one with my lovely phoenician phonetics trivia.

Laura: Enjoyed that.

Ron: Don't advertise other podcasts.

Laura: Why, Ron?

Laura: It's basically a negative.

Ron: Because they should be listening to our podcast.

Laura: They are.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: The people that are still here right now, these are the people that basically we invite to our funerals.

Ron: All of you.

Ron: Our funerals.

Ron: 16 September.

Laura: And, hey, let us know on the socials what's your go to?

Laura: Ebenezer.

Laura: We're asking the important questions and if.

Ron: Anyone says anything other than Scrooge, that's crazy to me.

Ron: And I want to know what your favourite Garage Rock Blues albums from the early Naughties were.

Laura: Yeah, I mean, there's so many to choose from.

Laura: Possible episode titles for last week you could have had if you were guessing along at home.

Laura: Grey old crone.

Ron: Define vulnerability.

Laura: Don't say crone to me.

Ron: Too many mixie medicines was the correct answer.

Laura: Stupid piece of b**** witch.

Ron: Threatening to throw your toys out of.

Laura: The hardboat and first d*** and balls in the book.

Ron: All good answers.

Laura: Yeah, and the image of the first d*** and balls in the book is up on Instagram and Facebook now, so give us a follow there.

Laura: Delicious.

Laura: Hey, join us on Slash Lexxeducation.

Laura: We haven't had a new patron this week and we want one, so can you be that person?

Laura: Thank you.

Ron: Yep.

Ron: Come along to the live shows as well.

Ron: We've talked about the London Podcast festival.

Ron: New tickets also got released for the Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival.

Ron: We had one kicking around for ages, if you were looking at it and you were thinking, I wanted to go to that, but I want to bring a mate now.

Ron: You can.

Ron: You can bring five mates, so do that.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Other than that.

Laura: Hey, have a lovely week, everyone.

Laura: School's broken up, but this podcast hasn't.

Laura: Boom.

Ron: No.

Ron: School's always in session with us, apart from holidays anniversaries and Tuesday to Sunday.

Laura: Ron, just say a catchphrase.

Ron: Sorry, class dismissed.