Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education, the comedy science podcast, where comedian Me Laura Lexx tries to learn science from her me him on it's.
Laura: Brother Ron.
Ron: Brother Ron in the chair.
Laura: Hello, brother Ron.
Ron: How are you?
Ron: Weird energy tonight.
Laura: Well, you got day drunk.
Ron: I got day drunk.
Ron: Sobered up on a Thames link.
Ron: Fell asleep watching Bob's Burgers after eating a full sweet chilli chicken with noodles and nine pounds worth of sushi from Wasabi.
Ron: Wow.
Laura: I mean, that's one sushi piece really isn't wasabi.
Ron: It was a box this big.
Laura: But I'd explain to the listeners how big, Ron, because they don't have eyes for you.
Ron: Like, probably you could probably have two of them across and then another third length ways.
Ron: It's a rectangle.
Ron: And it would be about the size of a pizza.
Laura: A pizza.
Laura: That arbitrary measure of size.
Laura: A pizza.
Laura: Anyway, straight up top, we would like.
Ron: To say, wait, there were four of the ones that have rice and then salmon over the top, like a little blanket nagiri.
Ron: And then there were six California rolls.
Ron: And then there were eight of the guys that have little seaweed jackets on little mackies.
Laura: Yeah, yeah.
Ron: And then there was a little tray for soy sauce and Wasabi from Wasabi.
Laura: Correct.
Laura: Well done, Ron.
Ron: That gives a more definition.
Laura: Everybody knows how much sushi you're full of now.
Ron: Plus sweet chilli chicken and noodles.
Ron: No drink.
Laura: Oh, you've got water with you?
Ron: Yeah, I'm so full.
Laura: Yeah, I can't fit it in.
Laura: So I was going to say a warning.
Ron: Frustrated?
Laura: No, because it was just I was going to put a warning up the top.
Laura: I was going to say hello, if you're a new listener, that was enticed here by Dara O'Brien and you thought, hey, this sounds like a nice podcast.
Laura: I'll keep listening.
Laura: I just wanted to say do that.
Laura: But go back to episode one, turn it around and listen from there.
Laura: We love that you liked it.
Laura: We want you to be a regular listener.
Laura: But this podcast is best enjoyed from the start.
Laura: And I feel like Ron's discussion about sushi there is a great example of why that's the case.
Laura: You need to come from shallow to deep water.
Laura: If you come in now, I was just about to be amazed.
Ron: This podcast is like walking slowly into the ocean.
Laura: It is the definition of the boiling water around a frog thing.
Ron: Yeah, you're walking slowly in.
Ron: Slowly, slowly.
Ron: You don't want to jump in around April's.
Ron: That bit where your bits are just going in and that's hard.
Ron: You want to pause there for a bit.
Ron: But then we're at belly button now.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And I think today's episode might be where we fall over and shoulders, because I'm quite behind with my editing.
Laura: And I was editing it this week and I was like, if last week's episode, we really specifically went like, we want to bring in an influx of new listeners.
Laura: We've got an amazing high profile guest.
Laura: Let's go for it.
Laura: We'll do something that is a jumping in point.
Laura: This episode feels like a big f*** you to all those people.
Laura: This is one for the fans.
Ron: And if it makes you feel better, we recorded this before the Diarrhoea Brian episode.
Ron: We wanted to f*** the listeners long before we had a high profile.
Laura: So you go back to episode one.
Laura: Everybody that's up here and should be here.
Laura: Hello, welcome to you.
Laura: The only news up top really, is tickets to the live shows.
Laura: More tickets have been released to our November show.
Laura: The Cheerful Evil podcast is sold out in 24 hours.
Laura: We were delighted with that.
Laura: Five extra tickets have been released.
Laura: So go and grab those and come along.
Laura: That's the November show.
Laura: Then in September we have taken on an ambitious room at the London Podcast Festival.
Laura: Ambitious?
Laura: It's the 16 September at 02:00 p.m..
Laura: We need you all to show up.
Laura: Even if you are just a casual listener, you're like, I think those people that interact too much with podcasts are weirdos.
Laura: If that's you, come anyway.
Laura: Sit there quietly and then go again.
Laura: We don't need you to be our best buds, but we do need you to buy tickets and come to that show.
Ron: You can sit at the back.
Ron: You don't even have to sit at the front.
Ron: There's not going to be very little, if any, audience participation.
Ron: Just come along.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Just please come along and bring a friend.
Laura: Yeah, she'll love it.
Laura: That b**** loves eggs.
Ron: Bring your NAN on the other side.
Laura: Yeah, bring both.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Okay, so that's it.
Laura: Today's episode is biology.
Laura: Please don't be expecting any biogly cuddles it's one of our most argumentative biologies we've ever had.
Laura: Go forth.
Ron: Enjoy.
Laura: I love Boggle.
Ron: Boggle's.
Ron: Great.
Laura: Ugh.
Laura: Do you know what I hate about summer is bare skin on like leathery seats.
Laura: Do you think I'll ever use up one of my gel pens?
Ron: Probably hope so.
Ron: And then there will be less to rattle in the jar.
Laura: I'll buy new ones.
Laura: I think the podcast has really picked up since I bought the gel pens.
Ron: Yeah, true.
Ron: All right, Laura.
Ron: Biology today?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Oh, God.
Laura: Is it interesting?
Ron: It's maths.
Laura: Oh, no, there's no maths in biology.
Ron: It's a maths.
Ron: Biology.
Laura: There isn't math in biology.
Ron: Now for the timeline we're about economically about 45 seconds after Laura just stormed out of a quiz because she didn't want to do some math.
Ron: Do you want to not do the episode?
Laura: You can't put maths into biology.
Ron: We have done several times.
Ron: We're doing it again today.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Because it's just nature syllabus.
Laura: Nature can't be held by rules.
Ron: Yes, it can.
Ron: That's what biology is.
Ron: Your knuckle.
Laura: No.
Ron: Can you remember what we were doing last time in biology?
Laura: No.
Ron: Photosynthesis.
Laura: Photosynthesis.
Ron: Do you remember what photosynthesis is?
Laura: It's how plants make food.
Ron: It's how they make what?
Laura: Food.
Ron: Yeah, but what do they make?
Laura: Sugar.
Ron: Glucose.
Laura: Glucose.
Laura: What is Holiday crabs only oranges.
Laura: Twelve.
Ron: What?
Laura: What was sugar's chemical thing?
Laura: Holiday crabs only holiday oranges.
Laura: Was holiday oranges h six O-C-O twelve or something.
Ron: I don't know what you're talking about.
Laura: F****** Dewey bum.
Laura: What is chemical symbol?
Ron: That's what I'm about to ask you.
Ron: What's the equation for photosynthesis?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: Can't deal with this attitude for an hour.
Laura: Cast your mind back to mere 30 seconds ago when I was looking you in the eye and begging you to help me with the chemical symbol for glucose.
Laura: And I was saying things like H 612, oranges that sound like a woman that knows the equation to make it.
Laura: Or do you think you need to help me remember what it was because.
Ron: Your eyes are so bleary?
Laura: Look, I am a terrible mother and I've had a very difficult week trying to be a better mother.
Laura: And the pollen count is very high.
Laura: And now you've ruined biology by mathsing.
Laura: It okay.
Ron: But what's the equation for photosynthesis?
Ron: Not with the chemicals in it, but just like what goes in and what comes out.
Laura: I remember something was the catalyst.
Ron: What's?
Ron: Like one of the only things that you have to give plants so that they're okay?
Laura: Mud.
Ron: That you have to give them on a regular basis.
Laura: Nitrogen.
Ron: Are you being thick?
Laura: No.
Ron: Are you being thick on purpose?
Ron: What do you give your plants?
Laura: Water.
Ron: Yes, water.
Ron: Do you go around and spit nitrogen on them?
Laura: No, but I put it in the plant food.
Ron: Yeah, but why would that be the first thing that jumps to your mind?
Laura: So don't water all my plants.
Ron: You do.
Ron: You're using your hose in a hose pipe ban.
Laura: There isn't a hose pipe ban.
Ron: They said that you should be rationing water in Sussexings.
Laura: When?
Ron: Two days ago.
Laura: Who said that to you?
Ron: The BBC.
Laura: And anyway, I am rationing it.
Laura: What is the point of trying to save the environment if all the flowers are dead?
Laura: Then what do the beast do?
Laura: So you need to water them a little bit.
Ron: I don't think that's it.
Laura: That's it?
Laura: Yeah, that's it.
Laura: I promise never to wash my car.
Laura: I barely wash anymore.
Laura: But I'm having plants and I don't care.
Ron: Okay, what's the question?
Laura: It's water.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Carbon dioxide.
Laura: I don't think we should record in the summer.
Laura: I think we should just only record in the winter and just bottle them for the summer because it's so f****** hot and I hate you, and I think it's because of the heat.
Ron: So it's CO2.
Laura: Stop talking to me about science.
Ron: Okay, then we stop.
Ron: All right, next episode.
Ron: I'll see you for the quiz.
Ron: What do you give plants or noodles?
Laura: Could we just have some of the classic banter that the podcast is famed for?
Laura: I need some water.
Ron: Like a plant?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: My b*** stuck to the chair.
Ron: I'm going to eat an apple.
Laura: Sit on your hoodie so that my b***'s not sticking to the sure.
Ron: Right, let's have ten to 15 minutes of top quality balance and then we'll do some science.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: How's your life?
Ron: Garbage.
Laura: Mine as well.
Ron: Let's play some boggle.
Laura: Can't play boggle.
Ron: Can't play boggle.
Laura: Okay, but can you put it away before Squink wakes up?
Laura: Because, f*** me, all she wants is everything she can't have.
Ron: How long should we give us a minute for Boggle.
Laura: We can't just play boggle.
Ron: Play a game of Boggle, then we'll do some science.
Ron: Okay?
Laura: Okay.
Ron: And then every ten minutes we'll play another round of Boggle to keep ourselves interested.
Laura: Hey, Mackie.
Ron: A minute?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay, let's go.
Ron: A minute 30.
Laura: Well, why did you question a minute twice then?
Ron: Shut up and just play Boggles.
Laura: How do you play Boggle?
Laura: I'll do it on my computer.
Ron: Okay, ready?
Laura: Come on.
Ron: Ready?
Laura: My God, you're bad at that.
Ron: Ready?
Ron: All right.
Laura: How do you play Boggle?
Ron: You have to make words and they have to be connected.
Ron: Ready?
Laura: Like Words with Friends.
Ron: Go.
Ron: God, it's a bad one.
Laura: Can you go diagonally?
Laura: Yeah, I've got one.
Laura: Can they be three letters?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: And you get points for the length of the word, but only if no one else got it.
Laura: Why are you typing so much?
Laura: I'm getting loads of words.
Laura: What words?
Laura: There aren't any words here.
Laura: Stop typing.
Ron: I'm getting loads of words.
Laura: What words?
Ron: All the words in the thing.
Laura: There aren't any.
Laura: There aren't?
Laura: There aren't.
Laura: There aren't.
Laura: You're bad at I've got four now.
Ron: 9 seconds.
Ron: You've only got four?
Ron: You kidding.
Laura: It's very hot time.
Ron: All right, I'll run through mine.
Ron: You tell me which four you got.
Laura: I've actually got more than 4 hours.
Laura: Psyching.
Ron: You how many?
Laura: If I'm typing while you're speaking, though, it's a different project I'm working on.
Ron: No, you read yours out first.
Laura: No, because you're a cheater.
Ron: No, read yours out.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Can you take a picture of this so we can show people the Boggle board?
Ron: Yeah, it was a hard one.
Laura: It was a hard one.
Ron: Was a hard one.
Laura: Okay, I got hoof.
Ron: I got hoof.
Ron: So we take those both off our lists.
Laura: Row.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Ron: That's 1.1.
Laura: There's three letters in it's.
Ron: One point.
Laura: Yen.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Tonne?
Ron: Yeah, I got that.
Laura: Not got that note.
Ron: Got that.
Laura: Hue.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Faux.
Laura: What?
Ron: Didn't get up.
Laura: Nice.
Laura: Let teen.
Ron: Got that.
Laura: Toy.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Leo.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Het.
Laura: What's a het like?
Laura: Getting het up.
Laura: Right.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: The got that.
Laura: The got that.
Laura: Phi.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: And ho as in a wooden.
Ron: Yeah, I got that.
Laura: Iron or stone?
Laura: Ho.
Laura: All right.
Laura: I got 123-4567 points.
Ron: I got toe.
Ron: Yo.
Ron: FET.
Laura: What's FET?
Ron: Like something that's fetted.
Laura: FET?
Laura: Is that a word?
Laura: I don't think an apple was a good idea, Mid, because it's in Merriam.
Ron: Webster'S Dictionary stands for Federal Exercise Tax.
Laura: Stands for then that's an acronym.
Laura: We can't have that.
Ron: I'll get rid of it.
Ron: Ten and tone.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Another boggle points.
Laura: Did you get four?
Laura: I win.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: All right, now we'll do some science for a bit and then we'll play in a bit more Boggle.
Ron: Or do you want to do another Boggle now?
Laura: No, I think you do.
Ron: I love Boggle.
Laura: I love Boggle, too.
Ron: Great.
Ron: So writing this out, that's really reset us.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Play Boggle more often.
Laura: Calm me down.
Laura: I'm really stressed at the moment.
Ron: Yeah, your life's garbage.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So CO2.
Ron: CO2 plus H 20 as an equation, not a word.
Ron: Cloud around a flower, please.
Ron: As an equation, please.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Because you're going to need it later on.
Laura: I won't remember it later on.
Ron: That's why you're writing it down.
Laura: That doesn't help.
Ron: Equals or a line.
Ron: C, six, h, twelve.
Laura: Six, which is c six.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: There's six of us.
Laura: December has a holiday in it.
Laura: We each have a chocolate orange.
Ron: Plus six.
Ron: Oh, two.
Laura: It.
Ron: Can you balance that equation quickly, please?
Laura: Quickly.
Laura: No.
Ron: I think it was the pen holding you back.
Laura: I'm going to do the balancing numbers in a different colour.
Laura: I just rubbed Ron's leg with my foot.
Laura: Right.
Laura: So I have to put a six in front of the H 20 in order to get twelve hydrogens for the December month.
Laura: Oh, I've also got six carbons, so I also have to put a six over there.
Laura: Six CO2.
Laura: So now I've got twelve.
Laura: There 18.
Laura: C six c six.
Laura: CO2 plus six, h 20.
Laura: C six h twelve.
Laura: Six plus six.
Laura: Two.
Ron: Yep.
Ron: Nicely done.
Laura: Yes, it was just sixes, the missing sixes.
Ron: All right, we're going to combine here.
Laura: Agatha cross the missing six.
Ron: We're going to combine him.
Laura: Didn't like my dinner very much.
Laura: My tummy feels weird.
Ron: Yeah, he had noki and cod.
Ron: I don't know why you did that.
Laura: Because I thought Squink would eat gnocchi.
Laura: And I hate meal times now because she shouts at me so much.
Laura: And the cod needed to be eaten today, so we had to have cod and Yoki.
Ron: You didn't have to have cod and Yoki.
Laura: What?
Laura: Could I have some of the potatoes, then?
Laura: Who would have had the rest of the packet of gnocchi?
Ron: I'd just have it for tea later.
Laura: Yeah, that would have been smart.
Laura: I hated it together.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Cod and Yoki is not a textural masterpiece.
Laura: No, she spat all the cod out and actually, I think she was right.
Ron: So we're going to combine now, this knowledge plus some knowledge that we've used previously, okay.
Ron: To work out the rate of photosynthesis.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Okay, so we have a plant in our front room.
Laura: Yep.
Ron: It's a bedelia.
Laura: What's a bedelia?
Laura: I've had a bedelia.
Ron: This is what's come up.
Ron: It's a film from 1940.
Ron: So we've got a potted bedelia in the living room.
Ron: Margaret Lockwood.
Laura: Can we say it's a rose?
Ron: No, it's a bedelia.
Laura: But a bedelia isn't a flower.
Ron: It's a film.
Ron: We're on the same page.
Laura: Is it a film about flowers?
Ron: No, it's about a woman called Bedelia.
Ron: The wickedest woman who ever loved oh, no.
Laura: Spicy.
Ron: Her beauty masked murder.
Ron: Crikey, the sensational motion picture of the same name, was based on this great novel is written on the book.
Ron: So it was a book as well as a film.
Laura: If this was charade's, we'd be doing so many signs with our hands.
Ron: Okay, so the bedelia in the front room, it gets 8 hours of sunlight a day.
Ron: Why are you drawing?
Laura: I'm drawing a sun.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Gets 8 hours of sunlight a day.
Ron: In that day it uses up 100 millilitres of water.
Laura: I would like you hang on.
Ron: Can I just finish my f****** sentence and then we can clarify afterwards.
Ron: Content lawyer.
Ron: Let me finish a sentence and then we can fill in the facts afterwards.
Ron: Because also you're just drawing f****** radio.
Laura: You're stalling so that you could draw radio.
Laura: It's a video cassette.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because you said it gets 8 hours of sunlight a day.
Ron: It uses 100 millilitres of water in that 8 hours.
Ron: I'd like you to work out how much Co 2 /second it intakes that's the rate of photosynthesis and then how much sugar has been produced by the end of it.
Laura: It gets 100 milli water a day in 8 hours.
Ron: How much CO2 is used per second and how much sugar is made?
Laura: No idea.
Ron: Do.
Laura: There's no way I can know that.
Ron: There is.
Laura: No, there isn't.
Ron: Yes, there is.
Laura: No, there isn't.
Ron: Would I have asked if how do.
Laura: I know how much CO2 is per second?
Ron: Because you have the equation there balanced.
Laura: I don't.
Ron: Yes, you do.
Ron: You just balanced it.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: F*** are you talking about?
Ron: Do you not remember doing these before?
Laura: No.
Ron: Look, hang on.
Laura: How many hundred mil in six eight second.
Ron: Save some editing time.
Ron: Hang on.
Ron: Can play this live in the room while you think.
Laura: Actually, I'm not thinking though, because there's no time in that equation.
Ron: 8 hours.
Laura: Where does that come into that?
Ron: I told you 100 millilitres in 8 hours.
Laura: I understood the words, Ronaldino.
Laura: What I didn't understand was what the f***?
Laura: H 100 mil.
Laura: How many hundred mil in six h?
Laura: 20.
Ron: Work it out.
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: Take a look at your book.
Ron: Oh, s***.
Ron: We need to play that again.
Ron: All right, it's time for a bottle break.
Ron: We're getting worked up again.
Ron: Ready?
Laura: No.
Laura: This is so stupid.
Laura: Last week we were talking of Dario.
Laura: Today we're playing Boggle.
Ron: Just ready?
Laura: No.
Ron: Get your notepad.
Laura: I can't find my glasses.
Laura: Okay, ready?
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Three tick.
Ron: You.
Laura: It doing a lot less talking in this one.
Laura: Taking it more seriously.
Ron: It time.
Laura: Take a picture of the board.
Ron: I feel ready.
Ron: To go again now, though.
Laura: Well, you're not going to be when I ask you questions again.
Laura: All right?
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Faye.
Ron: No.
Laura: Hibs.
Ron: What's?
Ron: Hibs.
Laura: Football team.
Laura: Fab.
Ron: Yep.
Ron: Got fab.
Laura: Win.
Ron: Yep.
Ron: Got win.
Laura: Hey, I didn't get that bin.
Laura: Got that rib.
Ron: Got that.
Laura: Has.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Bash.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Is that two?
Ron: I think four is still one point.
Ron: And is everything over four is two points.
Laura: Chain.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Chair.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Hair.
Ron: Those are both two points.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Hair.
Ron: I got that.
Laura: Fair.
Ron: I got that.
Laura: Bane.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Ron: Wait, that's not how you spell Bane.
Laura: The bane of my existence.
Ron: I thought it was B-A-N-E.
Ron: Might be.
Laura: Let's have a look.
Laura: Let's consult Miriam Webster.
Laura: It's a French word.
Ron: Okay, so not English.
Laura: Hang on, hang on.
Ron: There should be boggle words.
Ron: There'll be a website for it.
Laura: Bain is a valid English word.
Laura: Okay, you get that then nice.
Laura: And cash.
Ron: Didn't get that.
Laura: Nice.
Ron: I got ribs.
Ron: NIB, nibs.
Ron: Shin, cab.
Ron: Cabs.
Ron: Fabs.
Ron: Yas.
Laura: Yeah, you can't have yas.
Ron: Why not?
Laura: It's not a word.
Laura: Also, it's got a**, cafe.
Laura: Oh, nice.
Ron: Cairn and air.
Laura: Love it.
Ron: I got twelve points.
Laura: Oh, I got ten.
Laura: You?
Ron: Boggles thing.
Ron: Bam, BA, bam bam.
Ron: Okay, right, so do you remember we've done these equations before and we were working out the weights of things?
Ron: In reactions?
Laura: No.
Ron: In chemistry?
Laura: No.
Ron: When you say no so quickly, I don't remember it.
Ron: Yeah, but when you say no so quickly, it really comes across as if you're not trying.
Ron: And you haven't even tried to think about it.
Ron: No, because now you're being facetious.
Ron: You don't remember this at all?
Ron: You have no memory of that?
Laura: No.
Ron: Okay, well, you need to work out the molar mass of these mole.
Laura: I remember that one.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Molar mass of all of these.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Based off the atoms that are in them.
Laura: What is it?
Ron: Based off the atoms that are in there.
Laura: They're asking 16 year olds to do this.
Ron: Why?
Ron: We did it before.
Laura: What, I'm supposed to just guess?
Ron: No, you're supposed to work it out.
Laura: I don't know how.
Ron: Using the atoms that are in them and the weight on your periodic table.
Laura: I don't know that.
Laura: This is biology.
Ron: I am telling you that I shouldn't.
Laura: Have to look at the periodic table.
Laura: Boggle break.
Laura: Stop it.
Laura: If you wake that child up with a Boggle box, then she's yours from now on.
Laura: We can't play Boggle again.
Ron: Ron, you said boggle break.
Ron: We both enjoy the Boggle more.
Laura: Let's do boggle execution.
Ron: Lexx, boggle ready.
Ron: We're going to have a real good Oxford try after this.
Ron: Okay?
Laura: But you have to meet me halfway.
Ron: I have.
Ron: I literally told you all of the information you need.
Ron: You didn't even look.
Ron: Your periodic table.
Ron: Yeah, so whose f****** fault is this?
Ron: All right.
Ron: Okay, we're playing Boggle again.
Ron: Boggle three.
Ron: Let's go.
Ron: Time.
Laura: Sucks.
Ron: Not having fun now?
Laura: Nothing.
Laura: We're doing is funny.
Laura: D***.
Laura: Oh, I got on just as the time was going.
Ron: Take a picture.
Laura: I don't actually know if that's a word.
Laura: All right.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Here's a valid English word.
Laura: I've got cora.
Laura: I got I've got corn, but it's a that's a branch.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: I got quoras.
Laura: Is that a word says quora?
Laura: Is it's a plural form of quorum?
Laura: So I don't think you could have quoras loans.
Laura: Didn't get that loan.
Laura: Didn't get that con.
Laura: Didn't get that ran?
Laura: Got that oars.
Ron: Got that.
Laura: Or got that coin?
Laura: Got that.
Laura: Worth four points for me.
Ron: I just got four.
Ron: So one point.
Laura: I win.
Ron: There will be more boggle breaks.
Laura: No, we said three.
Laura: No, we didn't.
Laura: Ron, we've been recording for 29 minutes.
Ron: Three boggle.
Ron: Break an apple.
Laura: It is the summer.
Laura: Yeah, no one does school in the summer.
Ron: So, Laura, what's the molar mass of each of these things?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: Yes, I know.
Ron: That's why you have to find it out.
Ron: I understand.
Laura: And you're already at that level.
Ron: You're already this bad.
Ron: You bring me up there.
Laura: I don't don't blame me.
Laura: Oh, you made me do it.
Laura: Let's not go there.
Ron: I understand that you don't know these things off the top of your head, but you have a periodic table and you have a calculator.
Laura: You need to talk to me.
Ron: What else can I f****** tell you?
Ron: Help me add the numbers together.
Ron: Which number?
Laura: It I know you look at the periodic table, it looks like a beautiful.
Ron: Woman, but it just what's in H 20?
Laura: What's an H 20?
Ron: What is in H 20?
Laura: Hydrogen.
Laura: Two.
Laura: And?
Ron: Oxygen.
Ron: Two.
Ron: Hydrogens and an oxygen.
Ron: Add those three numbers together and then you have the molar mass of water.
Laura: What do you mean, two of them?
Laura: Two numbers.
Laura: There's only one number in there.
Ron: There's two hydrogens, two hydrogen, one, three.
Ron: Does oxygen weigh one?
Laura: I don't know, Ron.
Ron: Look at your f****** periodic table.
Laura: Eight.
Laura: It weighs eight.
Ron: Does it?
Laura: Or 16.
Ron: Which one do you think it is?
Laura: Eight.
Ron: Why?
Ron: No.
Laura: Why are you so, like because we've.
Ron: Gone through this so many times, say.
Laura: So many times that we've done everything.
Ron: We've been doing this a year.
Laura: We haven't been doing this subject for a year.
Laura: 16.
Ron: Periodic table started in, like, episode six.
Laura: Yeah, but not every day.
Laura: What does this weigh?
Ron: Show me your periodic tape.
Laura: Ow.
Ron: This number is the topic number.
Laura: What does that mean?
Ron: Do you have any concept?
Ron: It goes up one at a time.
Ron: 123456.
Laura: It does look like a castle or a factory, doesn't it?
Laura: Like a power station.
Ron: Bring it back.
Ron: What does this number mean?
Ron: Goes up by one.
Ron: What's the difference between hydrogen and helium?
Ron: What defines the element?
Laura: The it's one of the three things.
Laura: It's electrons, protons or neutrons.
Ron: Which one is it?
Laura: I want to say electrons.
Laura: So let's go protons.
Ron: It is protons, yeah.
Ron: So this number represents how many protons are in the element?
Ron: Okay, so which one do you think is the weight?
Ron: This number or the other number?
Laura: Can you f****** moderate your tone?
Ron: This is me moderate, this is me moderating.
Laura: Speak to me like this and then expect me to be calm.
Ron: Which number do you think?
Laura: Not the other one, then.
Laura: That little one at the bottom.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Why didn't they just say what that is?
Ron: Because this one is bigger than this.
Laura: Oh, it does say there, yeah.
Laura: Oh, cool.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: Oh, f*** off.
Ron: Okay, can you work out the weight of water, please?
Laura: Now, the weight of water, wasn't that a film?
Ron: No, that was the shape of water.
Laura: Okay, so hydrogen is 2.0 16 and oxygen is whoa.
Laura: A whopping 16.
Laura: Heavy boy.
Laura: So water is 18.16.
Ron: Okay, now do the same with everything else.
Laura: This is so boring.
Laura: I missed proper biology.
Laura: Carbon is 12.01.
Laura: Oh, and that'll be 32.
Laura: So that'll be 34.01.
Laura: Beep, boop, done it.
Laura: It's here in the gold.
Laura: 34.01 add 18.0.
Laura: Ignore that other decimal point.
Laura: That's an accident.
Ron: 16.
Laura: Looks like a dewy decimal system, but it's just that that's not supposed to be there.
Ron: Okay, so now you know that you've got 100 millilitres of water.
Ron: So how many moles of water have we used?
Laura: He.
Laura: What is a mole?
Laura: If you were to recap students.
Ron: What do you think a mole is?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: Have an idea.
Ron: Have a think.
Ron: Engage.
Ron: Try.
Ron: Because you're asking me to meet you halfway, but you've not moved anywhere, so I am meeting you halfway, but you're still over there.
Laura: I have got two broken legs, though, so, no, I'm stumped.
Ron: What do you think?
Ron: What area is it?
Laura: Maths.
Ron: What could it be?
Ron: Come on.
Ron: Something.
Laura: I thought we'd finished moles.
Laura: I didn't know we were going to need them again.
Ron: Is it all interlinks?
Ron: That's the whole point.
Ron: And that's why every time when you're like, oh, this doesn't mean anything, or you're like, oh, this just came out of nowhere, it's like no, because it's all part of one f****** thing.
Ron: A mole is just a number.
Ron: It's like a dozen or a century or something like that.
Ron: It is.
Ron: How many carbon?
Ron: Twelve atoms.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Ron: Grammes of carbon.
Ron: Twelve?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So if you had 1 mol of water, how much would it weigh?
Laura: Tricko.
Laura: There's no carbon in water.
Ron: You will never amount to anything.
Ron: You have a bad brain.
Laura: What happening?
Laura: Carbon number going to do with this water, then?
Ron: That's just representative.
Ron: How much does water weigh?
Laura: 18 point a bit.
Ron: That's 16.
Laura: No, that's the oxygens.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because it's added on to two.
Laura: Hydrogens makes 18.
Ron: All of that was wait, have you worked out all of these?
Laura: No, just the ones on these.
Laura: Do I have to do them multiplied by six?
Ron: Not yet.
Laura: Okay, that's a good job.
Laura: I did do that in a different colour then, isn't it?
Ron: How much does water weigh?
Laura: 18.
Ron: Okay, so how much does a mole of water weigh on the table?
Ron: A mole of carbon?
Ron: Twelve weighs twelve grammes?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: How much does a mole of water weigh?
Laura: 18 grammes.
Ron: Yes, it's it okay.
Ron: How much water do we have?
Laura: 100 mil.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So 100 grammes.
Laura: Right, okay.
Ron: How many moles of water have we used?
Laura: About five.
Ron: Work it out.
Laura: About five.
Ron: Work it out.
Laura: Five and a bit then.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: What's the number?
Ron: I can't wait to stop.
Laura: Surely that's right.
Laura: Hundred divided by 18.0.
Laura: That's better.
Laura: 5.55.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Is that the mole?
Laura: No, the mole was 18.
Laura: What does that mean?
Ron: So five moles have gone in to up.
Laura: Five moles pop their head in the beaker of water.
Ron: Okay, so how much CO2 have we used?
Laura: This sounds like to me it's like, stand on this balance beam and then I get you all stood on it.
Laura: And then I'm like, So what's my pig called?
Laura: It's like we do one bit and then you just start shrieking about something weird.
Ron: Look at this.
Laura: I'm looking at it.
Ron: So water goes in.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Carbon goes in.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: We know.
Ron: How many moles of water?
Laura: Five.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Five moles go in, but how many come out?
Ron: You see that there's an equal ratio when you've been this s***.
Ron: You need to listen.
Laura: You can't physically hurt me.
Ron: I can.
Ron: I will do it again.
Laura: I will stab you with this pen.
Ron: So you can see that an equal ratio of carbon dioxides and waters go in, right.
Laura: Because of the six of each of yeah, yeah.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: These numbers are the same.
Laura: Oh, Tom's calling me.
Ron: These are both answer because you're being thick.
Laura: I'll be thick.
Laura: Hello, Tom.
Ron: Go in.
Laura: Five moles of carbon dioxide, then.
Ron: How much does that weigh?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: Work it out.
Laura: Stop saying that.
Laura: What do you mean?
Laura: How much does what weigh?
Laura: Five moles of CO2.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: What have you tried?
Ron: Have you tried anything or have you just said, I don't know because you're a worm.
Laura: Now.
Laura: You've got a gold knee.
Ron: Try.
Laura: Try.
Laura: You try.
Ron: How did we work out how many moles of water it was?
Laura: How did we do that's?
Laura: Thinking time's over.
Laura: Oh, because of the things we already.
Ron: Have, the weight of CO2.
Ron: You already worked it out?
Laura: Where?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: Indecipherable 34.
Laura: 34 gramme mole.
Ron: So 1 mol weighs 34 grammes.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So how much does five moles weigh?
Laura: How do we know it's five moles?
Ron: Because it's the same ratio as the.
Laura: Water raising your voice.
Laura: That legitimate question.
Ron: Be smarter and get it.
Laura: Molecules.
Laura: Um, so, god, 170.
Ron: Probably about right, yeah.
Laura: You're not even trying to how long because every song we've done, you think.
Ron: I'm not trying to help you out?
Ron: Do you think you'd have gotten one answer if I hadn't been helping you out?
Ron: Do you think any of this came off your own back?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: And.
Laura: Do you think that the whole thing would be better if you would just listen to me when I say things like, please, can you know the answers so that when I've done them, I feel some validation?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: 30 times five is 154 times five is 20.
Ron: So, yes, 170.
Ron: Well done.
Laura: Thank you.
Ron: What?
Laura: Just be less dad and a bit more nice boy.
Ron: Okay, so we know how much carbon dioxide was used now?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: How long did that take?
Laura: 8 hours.
Ron: Okay, so let's work out how much carbon dioxide per second it was.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Because that's the rate of photosynthesis.
Ron: That's the whole thing that we've been trying to do.
Laura: Christ on a buy.
Ron: I'm sorry, it's been a death march, but you were largely keeping pace.
Laura: 169.4.
Ron: What.
Laura: Co 2 sum did you do?
Laura: I did eight times 60 times 60 divided by 170.
Ron: What unit is this supposed to be in?
Laura: Co 2 /second.
Ron: Grammes.
Ron: Per second.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And what answer did you get?
Laura: 169.4.
Ron: So do you think 169 grammes of CO2 are getting used up every second?
Ron: Do you think we'd be in the heat death that we are if that were true?
Laura: Is that a lot?
Ron: So how much was used in total?
Ron: 170.
Ron: The time that you've worked out is 169 grammes per second, 8 hours rather than 1 second, didn't it?
Laura: All right, let me try again.
Laura: God.
Laura: Failure is a big part of science.
Laura: Try the sum the other way.
Laura: 00:59 sounds about right.
Ron: Have you seen me do any sums?
Laura: Well, you've been tapping away on your phone.
Ron: No, I've been scrolling Twitter, because this is boring for me.
Ron: This is so easy and bad.
Ron: All right, last thing, then we can stop.
Ron: How much sugar was made?
Ron: Problem with playing this live is that we now can't really edit because otherwise it's going to sound weird, isn't it?
Ron: Do you want some help?
Laura: I don't know if I'm allowed help.
Ron: I've given you so much.
Laura: Well, then, shut up.
Ron: Do you want some help?
Laura: No.
Ron: Okay, boggle break.
Laura: No.
Laura: 146.67 grammes.
Ron: Talk me through your calculations.
Ron: So what did you do first?
Laura: Sugar has a molar mass of 176 grammes.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: It's not five moles, it's just one.
Ron: Is it just 1 mol?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: How did you get that?
Laura: Because the others are sixes and they were five.
Ron: Moles?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: So it's 0.8 of a mole.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: There we go.
Laura: So 146.67 grammes.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: That's really good.
Ron: And now we're done.
Ron: That's the end.
Ron: You want a boggle break before we stop?
Laura: No.
Laura: Right.
Laura: We're trying to do a quiz.
Laura: The baby won't sleep, so let's see how this goes.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Why won't she sleep today, Ron?
Laura: She wouldn't sleep this afternoon.
Laura: She won't sleep now.
Laura: She's exhausted.
Laura: Every time a stupid little eyes start closing, it's like a little alarm goes off in her head.
Laura: And she's like, yeah, I should stand up.
Ron: Yeah, she looks like a wasted panda.
Laura: She looks like Goob from Meet the Robinson.
Ron: Yeah, ill sickly.
Laura: Yeah, well, I'm a terrible mother and she's an irrational baby.
Ron: Don't look at your notes.
Laura: I opened the book quickly and there was a really nice drawing of a flower.
Ron: You will need the periodic table and you will need paper.
Ron: But don't look at your notes.
Laura: Why didn't you prepare any of these things when you said I'll get the record ready?
Ron: I didn't.
Ron: I said I didn't get the table ready.
Ron: The table is ready.
Laura: The table was already here.
Ron: Also, you're opening a book.
Laura: I'll open it.
Laura: I'll do it at the back near your notes.
Ron: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Ron: Why did I need to prepare that for?
Laura: Um look.
Laura: Right.
Laura: Bloody h***.
Ron: Harry, can you remember what we were doing in the girth of this episode?
Laura: Photosynthesis and boggle.
Ron: And the rate of photosynthesis.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So we only did two things.
Ron: We did one calculation and we did the boggle.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So we're just going to do that calculation again as the quiz.
Ron: So laura.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: I have a plant that uses 100 mil of water.
Laura: Just really wanted to draw a plant then, and I'm like, that is what has happened in the episode.
Laura: Uses 100 mil of water over a.
Ron: Day in the sun that lasts 8.
Laura: Hours in 8 hours of sun.
Laura: Not today, then.
Laura: That rain this morning was mad, wasn't it?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Rain.
Laura: My pen won't work.
Laura: Something just go right today.
Laura: Thank you.
Laura: God.
Laura: I've actually had a really lovely day.
Laura: But the last ten minutes yeah.
Laura: This dress what's wrong?
Laura: 100 mil over 8 hours.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: What is the rate of photosynthesis in Co 2?
Ron: How much sugar is produced.
Laura: Now?
Laura: Sugar is C six holiday oranges, c.
Ron: Six, H twelve six.
Laura: Yeah, that's what C six, holiday oranges means c 6 december holiday oranges for all six of us.
Laura: That's what I think about.
Ron: The whole thing is CO2 plus water equals sugar and oxygen.
Laura: CO2 plus water, H 20, equals C six, h twelve six.
Laura: And I've done this before.
Laura: I had to put some extra sixes around plus two plus where's the two in the sugar.
Ron: With the sugar.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I think it was like christ.
Laura: How do you balance that equation, Ron?
Ron: Like any other equation.
Laura: Can you just balance it?
Laura: Because that's not what you're asking me to do.
Ron: It's part of it.
Laura: No, it isn't.
Ron: It is.
Laura: Well, I'm finding that no, Ron, it's six is somewhere, isn't it?
Ron: Look at it.
Ron: You can.
Ron: You did it last time.
Ron: You're a smart gal.
Laura: Six, H 20 and then that must be six.
Laura: But then I've got 1218 of those and I've only got six.
Laura: So that's a six.
Laura: So it's six.
Laura: CO2 plus six H 20 equals C six, h twelve six plus six two.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Okay, great.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: So then what's the next step that we need to do?
Laura: Oh, it was f****** moles, wasn't it?
Ron: Work out the molar mass of everything that's in there's.
Ron: You'll need your periodic table.
Ron: You can't just stare at it.
Laura: Oh, I'm going to have to go up and see to her.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Okay, while she's not asleep, she is now lying down instead of throwing things.
Laura: She's finished the milk in the house.
Laura: There's no more milk, so I can't have tea.
Laura: So I've got wine now and I desperately would like to be good at something today, so I'm going to really try.
Ron: Okay?
Ron: You work out those molar masses.
Ron: Okay, I'm going to leave you to it because I think I'm a stress factor for you.
Ron: I'll be back in a SEC.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: He's left the room.
Laura: Now, listen, you can probably tell from my tone of voice stuff's stressful.
Laura: Right now I'm literally just going to look at the page of notes, copy the numbers across and pretend like I did it.
Laura: Now, I'm going to get caught if I got it wrong in the episode and I can't remember, but I'm editing this one so he will literally never know because he doesn't listen to the ones I edit.
Laura: And Ron, if you are listening, sorry for slurring your good name.
Laura: Okay, so oh, my God.
Laura: What do my notes even meant?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Are you looking at your own notes?
Laura: No.
Ron: Have you done any?
Laura: Yes, I have.
Laura: I thought you were going away.
Laura: Why is your passport that colour?
Ron: This is an emergency passport, Ron.
Laura: I thought you're stressing me out being here.
Ron: Sorry, I was just getting my passport.
Laura: I think it's 146.67 grammes of sugar.
Ron: Let me see your working.
Ron: How did you do it?
Ron: Talk me through it.
Ron: Because you weren't saying anything for the podcast.
Laura: No, I told them my workings before when you were gone.
Laura: I did.
Laura: You are going to have egg all over your face when you listen back to this.
Ron: Then why were you just silent for ages, then?
Laura: Because I was just finishing the sum.
Ron: Tell me about it.
Laura: So, listen.
Ron: Have you just cheated and looked at?
Laura: Yes, I have, but because I wanted to.
Ron: Okay, so have you ruined the quiz now?
Laura: No, I just thought you'd be away for longer and I'd have time to copy all of my workings out.
Ron: Zero Marks laura.
Laura: No, because that is the right answer.
Laura: Is that the right answer?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: See, you never even f****** know anyway, so what is the point?
Laura: So, winner of Boggle wins a quiz.
Ron: No, you get zero marks, we play a Boggle.
Laura: Why do I get zero marks?
Ron: Because you cheated.
Ron: You're lucky you're not being expelled.
Laura: I wish I was expelled.
Ron: I just got to cheque my swift progress.
Ron: Almost there.
Laura: What's a swift progress?
Laura: You're getting Taylor Swift tickets for a friend.
Laura: Is that friend me?
Ron: No.
Ron: I'm also not buying her tickets.
Ron: You have to register and then you can buy them.
Laura: Can you register for me?
Ron: No.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Because I was asked to do it for this friend.
Laura: You f****** w****.
Ron: You didn't ask me.
Laura: I thought you would have known.
Ron: You've never talked to me about Taylor Swift before.
Laura: Why wouldn't talk to you about Taylor Swift?
Laura: You don't like Taylor Swift.
Ron: So how would I know that you were a Swiftie?
Laura: You could ask.
Ron: All right.
Ron: Are you a Swiftie?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Should probably register for a tour, then.
Ron: Ready?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Three minutes.
Ron: Go.
Laura: Three minutes?
Ron: Apparently we're doing three minutes.
Laura: This is a much better one.
Ron: Better, yeah.
Ron: Three minutes is a long time, isn't it?
Laura: It's a really long time.
Laura: I'm not really sure what your plan for this episode is.
Laura: There's just quite a lot of silence.
Ron: We're just going to do this and then stop because you cheated.
Ron: I don't think I can cheat.
Ron: I could be blamed for that.
Laura: I didn't cheat.
Ron: How would you describe it?
Laura: Thinking outside the box in terms doing.
Ron: The thing that asked you not to do.
Laura: Yeah, but thinking you wouldn't catch me.
Ron: But you're not smart enough to pull that off.
Laura: I am.
Laura: Can you have Dion like Warwick?
Ron: No.
Ron: I think you knew that.
Laura: I did.
Laura: I was just trying to throw off your thinking.
Ron: Three minutes is so long.
Laura: I don't know why you doubled what we were doing before.
Ron: I just used the timer that was already open on my phone.
Laura: Why did you have a three minute timer open?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: There we go.
Laura: Okay, quick, go through yours.
Laura: I'm going to go back up.
Ron: All right.
Ron: Land.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Lad no.
Ron: Woohoo and no.
Ron: Dolt?
Laura: No.
Ron: Side?
Laura: No.
Ron: Kid.
Laura: No.
Ron: Kids?
Laura: No.
Ron: Joy.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Seal?
Laura: No.
Ron: Said?
Laura: No.
Ron: Kin?
Laura: No.
Ron: Kind?
Laura: No.
Ron: Kinds?
Laura: Oh, God.
Laura: No.
Ron: Lead?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Leads?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Lads?
Laura: No.
Ron: Lands?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Ask.
Laura: I thought I did.
Laura: No.
Laura: Have you not already had that?
Ron: No.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: No.
Ron: Disc?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Ladle yes.
Ron: Din?
Laura: No.
Ron: NAD.
Laura: Oh, din?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Sorry, what's a NAD?
Ron: You getting kicked in the NAD.
Laura: Just one.
Laura: I don't think I've ever heard it.
Ron: Singular, but Feasibly could be sure.
Laura: Go for it.
Ron: So I've got NAD and nads join.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Noise.
Ron: No noised.
Laura: That's not a word.
Laura: And you're looking at me and you know that.
Ron: Oak.
Laura: No.
Ron: Sinned.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: No.
Ron: Land.
Laura: No.
Laura: That's not a word.
Ron: It is like a land party.
Laura: No.
Ron: Why not?
Laura: Because it's letters meaning something.
Laura: Not a word.
Ron: Okay, those are all the ones that I got.
Laura: Oh, I did get asked.
Laura: I got side desk, ladles aunt.
Ron: I said side.
Laura: Oh, sorry.
Laura: Gin.
Laura: Dies.
Laura: Die and anise.
Ron: Very nice.
Ron: Do you want to go upstairs?
Laura: I just don't know what to do.
Laura: I don't know what to do, Ron.
Laura: I don't know how to make her sleep.
Laura: I'm so bad at this.
Laura: I'm worse at this than science.
Ron: That's not true.
Ron: She'd be dead.
Ron: So I got there 1234-5678, 910, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 points.
Laura: Well, so much for this being the pick me up.
Ron: I needed come on, let's go play minecraft.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Ron, you're about to be very uncomfortable.
Laura: Now, I know you haven't listened to this week's episode, so you've forgotten, but during the quiz for this week, I was very much struggling with the role of motherhood and listening back and editing it.
Laura: It was quite a tough listen for me at the end there, listening to how sad I was, but trying to be peppy in the podcast.
Laura: So I just wanted to say, firstly, rest assured, the last month has been a bit easier.
Laura: I'm getting my eye in with this, and me and Squink are really finding our groove as a mother daughter bonding thing.
Laura: But what I wanted to say was I'm not having an unusual time.
Laura: I'm not having a really terrible experience of motherhood.
Laura: I think this is just what it is.
Laura: So I just wanted to say this isn't me, like, putting out a big cry for help, being like, God, my experience of motherhood is awful.
Laura: It's just no, I think this is an average to good experience.
Laura: It's just really hard.
Laura: So if you're a parent and it's.
Ron: Hard are you talking to me?
Ron: Oh, God.
Laura: Ron, how do you not understand the concept of podcasting yet?
Ron: Because you were like, Ron, you're going to find this really uncomfortable.
Laura: Yeah, because I'm being genuine and serious.
Ron: About I thought you were talking to me.
Ron: I was really listening.
Laura: Then you should always be really listening.
Ron: No, sometimes you're talking to them.
Laura: I'm always talking to them via you, you f***.
Ron: So you are talking to me.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: The whole thing of this is a dialogue that invites an invisible listener into.
Ron: If I know everything you just said we live together.
Ron: Ow.
Laura: I know you know it.
Ron: Don't throw a glue spreader.
Ron: This thing has a real point on this.
Laura: Yeah, it does.
Laura: What is it to go in your eyes?
Laura: So I'm just saying, if you're a parent and parenting's hard yes, it is.
Laura: Welcome to stop it.
Laura: And if you're listening and not a parent and you're like, God, is this Laura saying that her experience is super hard and she needs something?
Laura: No, this is just normal parenting.
Laura: Anyway, that's the first awkward thing.
Laura: Secondly, let's talk patreon.
Laura: Ron and me work really hard on this show, and we ask for people to sign up to patreon every week, but we often make light of it because we both feel very awkward about asking for money.
Ron: I don't.
Laura: Do you not?
Laura: No, you do it in a faux bravado way, but I know you hate it.
Ron: No, I don't care.
Laura: All right.
Laura: But, yeah, we wanted to say, hey, join the patreon, you jerks.
Ron: Wait till the register.
Laura: We don't have adverts on the podcast.
Ron: We don't make you can't get them.
Laura: Mattress adverts and stuff like that.
Ron: We'd love them.
Ron: We'd love some ads.
Laura: We're not trying to flog better help to you.
Ron: We would.
Laura: We don't have financial support.
Laura: We rely on people liking the podcast enough that they throw us three pounds a month and then we split that.
Laura: So if you join up, we get one pound 50.
Laura: We're less than that because we have to pay Patreon quite a lot of money.
Laura: We get about one pound ten each of view per month.
Laura: So what's that, like 70?
Laura: No, 35 p an episode.
Laura: We think that that's so fair.
Laura: It's not fair at all on us, but we try to keep it as cheap as possible.
Laura: The Patreon team is growing and we're really proud of that.
Laura: So if you can join the Patreon and show us that the show is loved and help us keep it going and help us cover our costs, please go to Patreon.com Lexxeducation.
Ron: We have a 100% no regret guarantee on the Patreon.
Ron: No one that has signed up, apart from one sad boy called Noah, has left.
Laura: Yeah, Noah sucks, though.
Laura: We hate Noah.
Laura: Yeah, you spent the day with Noah.
Laura: Noah is the reason that Rotten is drunk.
Ron: Noah doesn't drink at the Ugh, so.
Laura: You drank for him.
Laura: Anyway, we're back next week where we're on complete I can't remember what happens, but it's going to be fun.
Ron: Yeah, that was a good one.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: This is like a cry for help this week.
Laura: So, Ron, should we go to the register and thank some people that have signed up to the Patreon?
Ron: Drum roll, please.
Ron: Do you want to go first?
Laura: No, because that third one is long.
Ron: All right, well, a huge thank you to Lisa Joplin.
Ron: They are the referee for the MMA grudge match between Daro Brian and David Attenborough when they finally tussle it out to decide who gets space and who gets nature.
Laura: A big thank you to Zoe Lack.
Laura: Zoe is the referee for the MMA grudge match between Laura and Ron.
Laura: When they finally tussle it out.
Laura: Couldn't say tussle.
Laura: Then tussle tussle it out to decide who gets Boggle.
Ron: And finally, a huge thank you to Luke, who is the number one best listener and why?
Ron: Because they've bought a ticket to a live show.
Ron: Nay two live shows and they're bringing two close friends to both shows.
Ron: And those friends are both bringing dates.
Ron: And the dates are also bringing friends because they don't know Luke's friends that well and they felt more comfortable coming to the show if they brought friends as well.
Ron: Not because Luke's friends seem problematic and not because the show doesn't seem good.
Ron: The dates are keen and ready to mingle, but they just wanted some backup.
Ron: It's a podcast that they haven't listened to and they don't know if they're going to be able to keep up with the chat and stuff at all.
Ron: Plus, they live a tube and an overground away, so that's quite far.
Ron: So they just wanted some mates to come, plus the mates might meet someone as well there.
Ron: It's going to be an absolute fuckfest.
Laura: So what we're saying is thank you, Luke.
Laura: Thank you for being a patron.
Laura: And thank you for listening.
Laura: You're the best people in the world.
Laura: And we're big fans.
Laura: Big fans.
Ron: Glass dismissed.
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