Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education, the comedy science podcast that leans heavily on the comedy and barely dips its toe into the science.
Laura: It stars comedian Laura Lexx and my brother, the normal guy, Ron.
Ron: Hello, I'm Ron Normal.
Laura: Hi, normal guy.
Laura: He's a guy.
Laura: Normal guy.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: Ron, your computer sounds hot today.
Ron: Yes, it's because you made it.
Ron: Do a film for a bit.
Laura: Just tried to video Ron to try and make some adverts for this d*** podcast to make everybody realise how brilliant it is and, oh, my God, it's like he melted into a puddle.
Laura: I just asked him to say some simple phrases and he was like and.
Ron: You asked the sun to be in my eyes while it happened.
Laura: That was what made the difference, was it?
Ron: No, I couldn't have done it anyway, but at least I would have had my eyes open.
Laura: Anyway, if you see some adverts for Lexx Education where Ron is crying, laughing and squinting and trying to say phrases from the podcast, please like and share them, because they're the best we've got.
Laura: How are you, Ron?
Ron: Yeah, I'm okay.
Laura: You arrived and did some burping.
Ron: You've been eating jumbalaya.
Ron: Yeah, so through a barbecue at the weekend and I was left with a.
Laura: Thanks for the invite.
Ron: Shut up, not friends.
Ron: I was left with a dearth of sausages and I didn't really want to eat just eat sort of sausage BAPS all week.
Ron: So I made a big jumbalaya.
Laura: I make jambalaya on, cooked up.
Laura: Delicious.
Laura: Three yum ran, katie six.
Ron: Ron sad trombone Sound you're so jealous.
Laura: I had a three egg omelette for my lunch.
Ron: Wow.
Laura: Yeah, we're really just egg food.
Laura: I put a bit of cheese in the middle.
Ron: Christ.
Ron: Is it the 1930s Dust Bowl around Brighton?
Laura: We don't have any food at the moment and I have got bread in the oven right now.
Laura: But it wasn't ready before the record and I'd done a workout and I dangerously needed to eat or this was going to be a shambles.
Laura: So I had a three egg omelette and some lunch hoops.
Laura: Do you know what, Ron?
Laura: Last week, I put out a silly video of saying, like, oh, I've had a stressful week, I'm having a cocktail.
Laura: And then it was me mixing three different flavours of hula hoops together.
Laura: I got so many messages going, just lunch hoops.
Laura: And it warmed my cockles.
Laura: How many people that listen to this podcast that don't normally, like, get in touch, but sent, like, a lunch hoop?
Laura: And I was like, you guys all listen.
Laura: This is so nice.
Ron: Yeah, that is one of the bits that has permeated our normal lives a lot.
Ron: We do call them lunch hoops now.
Ron: Just round the house.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Even when you have them at any time of day.
Laura: I've eaten like a five year old for the last week.
Laura: I've just had one of those weeks where all I've wanted to eat is garbage and I have.
Laura: I've eaten like a raccoon.
Ron: Sorry, you really said I have, like you were going to lead on and say more.
Laura: You always say that.
Laura: You're always baffled by my sentence structure.
Laura: I think it's because I'm such a unique speaker.
Laura: I'm like the Cormac McCarthy of conversation.
Ron: Potentially.
Laura: What's?
Laura: Banging in the background.
Ron: Someone open and close the door.
Ron: Get your f****** beaky nose out of it.
Laura: Get their beaky doors out of my podcast.
Ron: I've not been slamming.
Laura: Aren't they?
Laura: What are they in a rage about?
Ron: Yesterday, so, again, had this barbecue.
Ron: I made loads of guac and right.
Laura: Shove it with your barbecue.
Laura: I was in Reading, I was only, like, an hour and a half away.
Laura: I could have been there.
Laura: Could have bloody been there, mate.
Ron: I didn't want you there, because you'd have just been like, oh, why didn't you invite me to the last thing you did?
Ron: Just hectoring people.
Laura: What vegetarian options did you have?
Ron: I cooked a shitload of vegetables, Noah.
Ron: There we are.
Ron: Such insufferable, insufferable hipsters that the first five people that arrived all brought a boloca halumi.
Ron: So we ate so much halumi.
Ron: But, yeah, I had loads of guac and hummus left over.
Ron: So yesterday I had to buy a thing of pringles just to get through it and I didn't want any of them.
Laura: What flavour?
Ron: Salt and vinegar.
Laura: Yeah, with a spoon, though.
Ron: I've been eating it on toast.
Ron: I've been eating it with jumbalaya.
Ron: I made so much of it.
Laura: If you'd invited me, you wouldn't have any guac left over.
Laura: I'd have eaten all of it.
Ron: Well, that's another reason to not invite you, because I like guac.
Laura: I'm not going to invite you to the next six barbecues I have.
Ron: Oh, I'm not getting a barbecue invite for six years.
Ron: Oh, no.
Laura: Do you know what?
Laura: This is an appropriate intro to this episode, because this episode, I would describe it as bleak.
Laura: It's a bleak episode.
Laura: It is one of those episodes that, oh, my God, we fight.
Laura: I think it wins the award for the most Rons in a single episode.
Laura: I was editing it and I was like, shall I cut some of these?
Laura: Where I'm just saying, Ron, I've left them all in.
Laura: Maybe someone could count them.
Ron: Yeah, a bad showing for both of us.
Ron: It's a bad episode.
Laura: It's not a bad episode.
Laura: Ron, stop with your negativity.
Laura: If you're not going to make good adverts, you can at least not slag the product off on it.
Ron: Well, I just like people I want people to believe me when I say that it's good.
Laura: They can't all say they're all good, because they are.
Ron: They can't all be winners.
Laura: But the ones that I think are not much happen in this one are the ones other people like the best.
Laura: So I think I'm no judge.
Ron: Life's a rich tapestry.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Hey, speaking of rich tapestries, happy birthday, jenny, we hope that you're having a rich tapestry of a birthday this week.
Ron: Jenny a rich tapestry of a woman.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Having a rich tapestry of a day and hopefully got given a tapestry by a rich person.
Laura: Happy birthday, Jenny.
Laura: If you want a birthday, shout out.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: If you want a birthday, shout out on the podcast.
Laura: Just drop us an email or message us and we'll say Happy Birthday like it's CBBC.
Laura: And if we get enough patrons, maybe we'll start making birthday cards again.
Laura: That was a thing that Ron used to do that he then stopped doing that once it was one of Ron's fads.
Ron: I think.
Ron: We offered it to one person and then other people started just demanding it.
Laura: But you never did it again.
Ron: No, I don't have to do everything that the listeners demand of me.
Laura: Yes, you do.
Ron: No, I don't.
Laura: Then you're in the wrong.
Laura: Why?
Ron: My mental health is better than yours.
Laura: Mental health is not better than mine.
Ron: It's just more sporadic, my mental health.
Ron: Yours has phenomenal compared to yours.
Laura: Yeah, like every person, mine is steadily.
Ron: Big trough.
Laura: Lexx, they call never good, and it's not going to get good.
Laura: So it's not a trough, it's just a swamp.
Laura: It's just the Netherlands.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I have the Netherlands of mental health.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Whereas you are just.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's what normal people are like.
Laura: No, it's not, Ron.
Laura: Normal people are just up all the time.
Ron: No, that's not true.
Ron: That's a mentally unhealthy person's idea of what a normal person is.
Laura: Yeah, well, I'm clinging to it.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: What's wrong?
Ron: His mind.
Ron: This week, I'm off to my final festival of the year tomorrow morning.
Ron: I want to hear your best festival.
Laura: Stories before you ask listeners.
Laura: No, I'm not going as well.
Laura: Despite introducing Ron to that festival, I was not invited.
Ron: No, because you have a one year old, you don't do anything.
Ron: I went to reading festivals on with the episode.
Laura: So what was Ron your mind about.
Ron: It just going festivals in it?
Laura: Oh, Ron, I listened to some Tom Waits yesterday.
Ron: Oh, yeah?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I really enjoyed it.
Ron: Because of what I said.
Laura: No, Spotify randomly played it.
Laura: I don't know if it's because We're Friends on Spotify and it saw you playing it and so it played it to me.
Laura: But I listened and I liked it.
Ron: Nice.
Ron: Which song or what stuff?
Laura: What's it called?
Laura: Something about six shillings or something like that.
Ron: 16 shells from a 30 ought six.
Laura: That's it, yeah.
Ron: Banger.
Laura: I loved it.
Laura: And then I listened to town with no cheer.
Laura: And I loved that, too.
Ron: Don't know if I know that one.
Ron: Clap Hands.
Ron: Hoist that rag I know hoist that.
Laura: Rag I've heard that one before.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Hoist that RAG's a banger.
Ron: Although they put a new mix of it on Spotify and the new mix is nowhere near as good.
Ron: The guitar is not as oh, but.
Laura: We love jangly guitar.
Ron: We love jangly guitars.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Do you know what also I love a jangle jangle morning.
Ron: I'll come following you.
Laura: Following people.
Laura: Okay, go listen to this bleak, bleak pob of science and we'll see you afterwards.
Laura: I feel like the giddiness has left us.
Ron: Yeah, it's nice when we're just having a chat, isn't it?
Ron: I love the intros outros.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Physics hanging over me now.
Ron: Maybe we should do a podcast where we just chat.
Laura: I think we'd still argue.
Ron: We could do that chocolate bar podcast.
Laura: We kind of do.
Ron: What?
Laura: Chocolate bar podcast?
Laura: Really?
Ron: Obsessed.
Laura: That was the depth of your despair?
Laura: No.
Laura: Well, a lot of the patreon episodes are a bit less argumentative.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I can't remember the last time we.
Ron: Recorded a podcast and Patreon episode.
Ron: It's been a while.
Laura: We did the year review.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: No, that wasn't that long ago.
Ron: No, that was fun.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: I need to listen to that.
Laura: Have you not listened to that?
Laura: I worked so hard on that.
Ron: Yeah, it was good.
Ron: Really good.
Laura: Well, we got to do top three books next week.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Best three books ever.
Ron: Old man in the sea.
Ron: Is that the name of it?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I nearly said, is that the one about the moon?
Ron: Your friend?
Ron: The moon?
Laura: Moony.
Ron: Now, it's a bad sign that not only is your book closed, your phone's on top of it.
Laura: Yeah, well, because you just did the prep for this and you basically told me it was s*** before we'd even started, so I don't feel I don't think I said you did.
Laura: You said there's a s*** nugget and then we're out of the mechanics.
Laura: Shall we do that or shall we do that as the beginning and do something else with it?
Laura: Blah.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Awful.
Ron: That a third of our podcast we hate.
Laura: Yeah, I don't like the chemistry either.
Ron: And biology has been guff recently.
Laura: Yeah, and I'm not good at the biology.
Laura: Last biology, you got, like, one point.
Laura: Yeah, half a point.
Laura: Whatever.
Laura: I don't even have a pen.
Laura: Ron, you didn't bring my gel pens down.
Laura: Same room episode.
Laura: Dice, dice, dice.
Laura: Your dirty bean bag.
Ron: You're going to have to explain that.
Laura: Ron's got a dirty little bag that says beans on it.
Laura: It's dirty because my daughter got crap all over it and we never washed it.
Ron: It's really horrid.
Laura: Oh, it's going to be no gel pens for the first time in ages.
Ron: Okay, let's introduce an element of fun.
Ron: Okay, every now and again, I'll roll a dice.
Ron: If it's a 20.
Laura: We play double.
Laura: The Poggle episode went down way much better than I thought it would.
Ron: I did go down way much better, didn't it?
Ron: I don't know why you thought people wouldn't like it.
Laura: Because we played Boggle all the way through an episode of our podcast.
Ron: We should do a board game.
Ron: Episode one.
Laura: Let's play a board game.
Laura: Yeah, let's do that.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I'll put that on the patreon list.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Have we got a list?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Where?
Laura: On the f****** spreadsheet that you never look at.
Ron: What spreadsheet?
Ron: The release date?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Oh, that's too much, man.
Laura: What do you mean, that's too much?
Ron: How am I supposed to get information from this?
Laura: Just look at it.
Laura: You love spreadsheets.
Ron: Which ones are the patreon ones?
Laura: The green ones.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Ron: Oh, we're doing agony dad too.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: I don't look at this ever.
Laura: No.
Ron: Have we done?
Laura: Oh, wow.
Ron: We've done.
Ron: December's episode.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Unless eight more people join the patreon.
Ron: All right, listen up, everyone.
Ron: I'm going to roll the dice, and if it rolls on a 20, you sign up to the patreon.
Laura: It did.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: Can you grab those wasabi peas while you're over there?
Laura: No.
Laura: You're not eating right.
Laura: What are we doing?
Laura: Ron.
Laura: Ron, stop.
Ron: That's a boring Byron.
Laura: Yeah, well, you left all my gel pens upstairs.
Ron: You didn't tell me to get the gel pens.
Ron: I thought, you'd know you didn't even tell me to get the book.
Ron: I remembered to get the book.
Ron: Really?
Laura: Well, I thought, you'd know, top three books, this one, this is going to be all stop.
Ron: It was a 20.
Laura: You don't deserve patrons if you can't make one nice podcast, why should people pay for a second one?
Laura: Why is my book blue tack together?
Ron: Because you fiddler.
Laura: He's a little diddler.
Laura: What are we doing?
Ron: Right, we're doing momentum.
Laura: Oh, man.
Ron: It's a high.
Laura: Jeremy Corbyn.
Ron: It's a high 18.
Ron: You got something coming out your nose.
Ron: It's like a bit of white giddy on the old nose clams.
Ron: Yeah, it is.
Laura: Get it.
Ron: No, it's gone white.
Ron: What?
Laura: I've never done cocaine.
Ron: You shouldn't.
Laura: No, I think it would be terrible.
Ron: Right, we're doing momentum.
Ron: Right, so first, is that that one.
Laura: Where no one can remember anything?
Ron: Memento.
Ron: Great film.
Laura: Never seen it.
Ron: Really good film.
Laura: Too long.
Ron: It would be a busman's holiday.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Formula time.
Ron: Lots of maths, this episode, so grab your calculator.
Laura: Are we recording?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Wouldn't want to have missed all this science.
Ron: Formula time.
Laura: Laura why?
Ron: Momentum equals mass times velocity.
Ron: This is defined as just my mass times velocity.
Laura: The way that I mo the weather.
Ron: P is momentum.
Laura: No, a little P or a big P?
Laura: Little P, but not y.
Ron: Not row, because that's a different letter.
Laura: Not Y.
Ron: If it was row, I'd have said that.
Laura: Hello, I'm Ro.
Laura: MVS sometimes look like ticks if you get carried away in the second half.
Ron: Good job you're not an observational comic.
Ron: What's the deal with a void in the second half?
Ron: You should try that tonight at your gig.
Laura: See what people say.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Can you work out what the unit of momentum is?
Laura: Kilogrammes per metre squared?
Ron: Why would it be that?
Ron: Work it out.
Ron: Don't.
Laura: I did.
Laura: I don't like it when you do that.
Laura: Because I did work that out.
Ron: Talk me through it then.
Ron: Talk me through your workings.
Laura: Mass, maybe that's kilogrammes.
Ron: That is kilogrammes, yeah.
Ron: And then where did the metres squared come from?
Laura: Velocity, because that's kind of acceleration and that was metres squared.
Laura: No, it wasn't metres per second squared.
Ron: It's metres per second.
Ron: Velocity.
Laura: Oh yeah.
Ron: Velocity is not really acceleration, is it?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I don't know what velocity is.
Ron: You should do.
Ron: We've done, I think, maybe six episodes on.
Ron: It scalars.
Ron: It's a vector, isn't it?
Laura: Velokta.
Laura: Velokta vector.
Ron: Bolgar.
Laura: Velocity.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Because they both start with a ve.
Laura: I've talked about this before, elementary.
Ron: They both start with a ve alert the Nobels.
Ron: So it's metres per second.
Laura: So I was quite close.
Laura: Kilogrammes per metres per second.
Ron: It's not kilogrammes per metre per second, is it?
Laura: Kilogrammes times metres per second.
Ron: Kilogramme metres per second.
Laura: Kilogramme.
Laura: Kilogramme.
Laura: Kilogrammeters.
Laura: Kelsey Grammat.
Laura: Kelsey Grammata.
Laura: What p equals kilogrammes.
Ron: It doesn't equal that.
Laura: No.
Ron: The unit is kilogramme metres per second.
Laura: What of P?
Ron: Momentum.
Laura: Momentum, yeah.
Laura: Kilogramme metres.
Laura: Metres per second.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Gosh.
Laura: Okay, that's a lot to take in now.
Ron: Velocity.
Laura: What's mass made in?
Ron: Ask that again, but better.
Laura: What's mass registered as?
Ron: What do you mean?
Laura: Measured in kilogrammes.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And velocity is metres per second.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Jimmy, just go through that.
Laura: Yeah, I'm just making nice columns in my book with all of the information because you keep telling me off or only writing down some of it.
Ron: So velocity is a vector or scalar quantity.
Laura: Which way round do they go?
Ron: You tell me.
Laura: What's a scalar?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: One of them is the like, actually did it and one is like floopy.
Laura: Is that it?
Ron: Floopy is nothing.
Ron: So try again, I think.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: The baby's awake.
Ron: She can cry it out for a bit, I guess.
Laura: Let me cheque how awake she is.
Laura: Okay, so just a small 48 hours break there, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, I can't really remember anything.
Laura: Let me cheque the notes.
Laura: I think it was going quite smoothly, wasn't it?
Laura: Yeah, I reckon.
Ron: I don't know what content we've covered.
Laura: And what we I don't think we were mad at each other.
Laura: Momentum equals mass times velocity.
Laura: P equals MV.
Laura: Kilogrammes metres per second.
Laura: Kilogrammes metres per second.
Laura: That's what I've got written down.
Ron: Okay, cool.
Ron: Right.
Laura: I don't have a pen right now though.
Laura: Are we going to do anything else I'm going to need to take?
Ron: Yeah, we're going to do loads of maths for the rest of the lesson.
Laura: F****** h***.
Laura: Okay, hang on.
Laura: It's not a same room episode anymore.
Ron: No, it's not.
Laura: You've gone home?
Laura: Yes, went to a baby shower today.
Ron: Lovely stuff.
Laura: We had to do that thing, we had to bring a picture of you as a baby and then everybody had to work out who was everybody.
Laura: And apparently I have not changed since I was a baby because I didn't know anybody at this baby shower and everybody was like, oh, guess who's number seven.
Laura: Hang on, let me just grab a pen.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Long train today, listener.
Ron: Long train.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I found a gold sharpie, so I can't make detailed notes.
Ron: Why can't you make detailed notes?
Laura: Because it's a thick pen.
Ron: Right.
Laura: This wouldn't have happened if you'd brought my gel pens down the other day.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Are you okay?
Laura: You're very tired.
Laura: You've had a long journey today.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I was just saying to the listener, it was a long train.
Ron: That train stops everywhere.
Laura: Yeah, but it's quite.
Ron: Yeah, I was playing Minecraft mainly.
Laura: You played minecraft.
Ron: Okay, Laura, so let's just chat for.
Laura: A little bit longer before we hate each other.
Ron: No, because this is the middle of.
Laura: The episode you were getting on.
Laura: So look, look, it's going to be one of those episodes where there's an intro, then there's a bit of chat, and then a small bit science, and then another load of chat where we get to know each other again.
Ron: Don't recap what's just.
Laura: And then some chat for the outro.
Laura: So I think what the listeners like about this podcast is how many times we say hi to each other throughout the podcast.
Laura: It's a big feature.
Ron: So we're going.
Laura: To work out how many other podcasts are recorded on, like, five separate days.
Ron: Loads.
Ron: Loads of them have loads of production value and they take time and stuff.
Laura: Well, this one doesn't, but it is made.
Ron: All right, you've dragged me onto the tangent.
Ron: I was browsing.
Ron: I didn't even know what I was looking for.
Ron: I was on Spotify the other day and someone why is that good?
Laura: It might have been what you were looking for.
Ron: Why?
Ron: Who is that?
Laura: Curtis Tigers.
Laura: Musician.
Laura: And I wonder why we hold on.
Ron: Curtis Steigers.
Ron: You might as well be saying Brumpty High.
Laura: I've been sleeping with the lights on, talking in my sleep and waking to an empty room.
Laura: That guy.
Ron: It's not ringing any bells.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: Did mum never play you?
Laura: Curtis tigers.
Laura: Did they Mum dance to in the kitchen when you were little?
Laura: Just them people.
Ron: Rod Stewart.
Laura: Yeah, she does love a bit of Rod.
Ron: Rod and Shania, the lighthouse family.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: God, she's got easy listening taste.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So I was on Spotify and someone has made a podcast about the Ricky Gervais Show, like the podcast where they just recap episodes.
Laura: What do you think people listening to that are in it for?
Laura: Just when you could just re listen to Ricky Trace?
Laura: Because I understand things, know Jenna Fisher and whatever the other woman is talking about The Office.
Laura: Because maybe you listened to that at a point.
Laura: You couldn't be watching The Office, but you could just listen to the Ricky podcast.
Ron: They were in the office, so they have insight.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: They're not just two people that have listened to the same thing as you.
Laura: Maybe it's for people who love that podcast, but none of their friends do.
Laura: So it's like having a buddy to.
Ron: Talk to about it, maybe.
Ron: And I guess if you've just listened to all of it, you might not want to listen to all of it right away again, but you also don't want to listen to anything else, so maybe you just listen to something about it.
Laura: Or do you think you listen to an episode of Ricky Gervais podcast and then an episode of that one, then RG, then that one maybe?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: How popular do you think we'd have to be for there to be a listen along Lexx Education podcast?
Ron: I don't think that much more popular, but that's more down to our listeners than it is.
Laura: Yeah, they're cool dudes.
Laura: They get behind a product that they like.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I mean, am I surprised there's not already a bunson listen alongside podcast?
Ron: A little.
Ron: Right.
Laura: Do more merch soon, should we?
Laura: Yeah, we've got way more listeners now than when we did the hats and they sold out.
Ron: Well, quick, let's focus on the London podcast.
Laura: We should focus.
Ron: Buy your tickets online today.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And thank you to all the people that have messaged and said they have it.
Laura: Warms our cockles.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And don't be put off by those messages.
Ron: There's still lots available.
Laura: Maybe there aren't though.
Laura: We actually don't know.
Laura: We're going to ask tomorrow.
Ron: Oh, I know.
Laura: How do you know?
Ron: I can feel it.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Look, there's going to be twelve of us in a massive hall, but we're going to have the time of our f****** lives and that's what counts.
Laura: I've done it before and I'll do it again.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Okay, let's do some science so that we can all go to bed.
Ron: A snooker ball.
Ron: We're going to work out the momentum that a snooker ball has.
Laura: John Virgo.
Laura: Remember him?
Ron: No.
Ron: Is he a friend of Curtis Stigus?
Laura: Sounds like.
Laura: Is he a friend of Curtis?
Laura: He used to do big break.
Laura: It's only a game, so put up a real good fight.
Laura: We're gonna be snookering you.
Laura: Snookering you tonight.
Laura: Big Break.
Ron: You like all the old man sports, don't you?
Laura: I don't like snooker.
Laura: It was a game show on a Saturday night.
Laura: I think it was Jim Davidson.
Laura: Was it Jim Davidson?
Ron: I'd rather be listening to the podcast about Ricky Gervais podcast.
Laura: Okay, then let's do the maths if that's better.
Ron: We're going to work out the amount of momentum that a snooker ball has.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: A snooker ball weighs 170 grammes.
Laura: 170 grammes.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: I hit it with a force of 100 newtons.
Laura: It makes hundred newtons.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: The Q makes contact with the ball for zero 2 seconds.
Laura: Zero 2 seconds.
Ron: How much momentum does it have in the direction it's travelling?
Laura: Don't know, Ron.
Ron: Work it out.
Laura: Can't.
Laura: Can't.
Laura: Help me, help me, help me.
Laura: I'm a little bug stuck on my back.
Ron: Okay, what do you need to know?
Laura: How do I work that out?
Ron: From those numbers, do we have a formula for momentum?
Laura: Yes.
Ron: What's that formula?
Laura: P equals MV.
Ron: Okay, so what are we missing from that?
Laura: P, M and V.
Laura: P is what.
Ron: We'Re trying to work out, isn't it?
Ron: P.
Ron: So we'll shelve that for a second.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Do we have m?
Laura: No.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Are you thinking about 70 grammes?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Give me a f****** break, Ron.
Ron: I gave you lots of time and you asked for help.
Ron: And then you told me that we didn't have the mass.
Laura: Okay?
Laura: And then you said, don't we and then I changed my mind.
Ron: Okay, and then what does V stand for?
Laura: Calm down.
Laura: Velocity.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: How do we work that out from the stuff that we've been given?
Laura: We can't, because we don't know the metres.
Ron: Would I have designed this in such a way that you couldn't work it out?
Laura: We need to work out the metres.
Ron: What does that mean in your head?
Laura: Velocity is metres per second.
Laura: We don't know the metres.
Ron: What's the ball going to do very quickly when we hit it?
Laura: Run away.
Ron: Move.
Laura: Like move?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So what's going to happen to its speed?
Laura: Increase.
Ron: Accelerate.
Laura: Accelerate?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Can you think of any formulas that we no.
Laura: Do you want me to?
Laura: What one shall I look for?
Ron: Why don't you look for any that involve the things that we've got to work it out?
Laura: F equals ma.
Ron: Would that help us?
Laura: Maybe that involves mass and acceleration.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Is that helpful?
Ron: You tell me.
Laura: I don't know, Ron.
Laura: No, because I need to know metres.
Ron: Why would you need to know metres?
Laura: Because metres per second is the f****** velocity.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: What's the other part of that?
Laura: Seconds.
Ron: And did I give you any seconds?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Well, there we go.
Laura: So how do I work out the metres?
Ron: Because you're going to work out how quickly it's accelerating and then you're going to use that for how long it accelerates for.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: I can't do it.
Laura: A little caterpillar of formulas altogether.
Ron: You should be able to, you're an adult.
Ron: This isn't hard.
Laura: It is.
Ron: It's not.
Ron: You're not trying very hard.
Laura: I am.
Ron: Do it, then.
Laura: Do it.
Laura: So what have I got to do?
Ron: Work out how fast it's accelerating, then work out its velocity from its acceleration.
Ron: And then work out its momentum.
Laura: Help me.
Ron: No, just do those sums.
Ron: Like, write something down.
Ron: Organise yourself, apply yourself because you're on maternity leave.
Ron: This is all you have career wise at the moment.
Laura: Ah, she's crying.
Laura: Hang on, I've got to pause.
Ron: Very convenient.
Laura: Right.
Laura: F equals ma.
Laura: So f****** s***.
Laura: F equals ma.
Laura: M is 170 kilogrammes.
Ron: Is it?
Ron: Is that how much a snooker ball weighs?
Laura: Yes, that's what you said.
Ron: 170 kilogrammes.
Laura: Why don't you just tell me what it is instead of being sarky?
Ron: Because think about a snookable.
Ron: Does a snookable weigh like, three times as much as you?
Laura: No, you said it was grammes.
Laura: 170.
Laura: Grammes.
Laura: What's that in kilogrammes?
Laura: 1.7.1.
Ron: How many grammes make a point?
Ron: 17.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Zero.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: An a is accelerated.
Laura: Well, I don't know the acceleration is acceleration zero two.
Ron: What was zero two?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: I can't remember.
Laura: Is that the acceleration?
Ron: No, that was how long it was hit.
Laura: What's the acceleration, then?
Ron: That's what we're trying to work out.
Laura: F****** h***.
Laura: So how am I supposed to do f equals ma?
Ron: Because you've got f.
Ron: What's f a 100.
Ron: You have to be nicer.
Ron: My God.
Laura: So what?
Ron: Just work out the acceleration.
Ron: Trying dividing one number by another one.
Laura: Which ones?
Ron: Use the formula.
Laura: I use the formula to beat you around the head in a minute.
Laura: I can't do the formula as f equals ma.
Ron: Why not?
Ron: Why can't you?
Laura: Because we know f just f equals m something at the moment.
Ron: Rearranging.
Laura: How?
Laura: What do I have to do?
Laura: What do I have to do?
Laura: What?
Laura: Divide it by divide by divide by two.
Ron: Come on.
Ron: Remember before the episode we were having a conversation about whether we should stretch this out or just breeze through it?
Laura: Yeah, let's breeze through it.
Ron: Help me breathe.
Laura: This is a wind beneath my wings.
Ron: This is basic algebra.
Laura: I don't know what algebra is.
Ron: And you want to what do you.
Laura: Want me to do?
Ron: I want you to work out what the accelerator.
Laura: I am trying.
Ron: Just don't ask.
Ron: Think about it for a second.
Laura: F divided by f.
Laura: What would happen.
Ron: If you divided both sides of the equation by f?
Laura: They'd both be divisible by f.
Laura: You'd.
Ron: Have F divided by F and that would equal one, and then you'd have ma over f.
Ron: Does that sound like.
Laura: That'S helpful reading your tone?
Ron: No.
Ron: Okay, so what do we need to do physically?
Ron: We need to get A on its own, don't we?
Ron: Okay, so what's A with m and what's happening between those two numbers?
Laura: Multiplying.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So how can we move m to the other side of the equation?
Laura: Unmoultly divide f******.
Ron: Oh, yes.
Laura: Unmodify.
Laura: A equals f over m.
Laura: Yeah, okay.
Ron: We have all those numbers.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: I'm going to hurt you next time I see you.
Laura: What was f again?
Laura: Result of what the f*** is f?
Laura: What's f?
Ron: 100.
Ron: It's 100 newtons.
Laura: And what was m?
Laura: 00:170.
Ron: Yeah, just 00:17.
Ron: Don't need to say the zero.
Laura: Not if I want to.
Laura: 588.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: How long was it accelerating for?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: Is that the zero two?
Laura: No, that's how long it touched it.
Ron: That's how long it was accelerating for.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Is it?
Laura: That's how long it was accelerated.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: So A is 588.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Who are you typing to?
Ron: Unlocking my laptop.
Ron: We've been working this some out for so long that it locked itself.
Laura: Sorry.
Laura: Your laptop is a judgy c***.
Laura: So now what am I supposed to be doing?
Ron: You have how quickly it's accelerating and.
Ron: You have how long it was accelerating for?
Ron: If I was accelerating by 15 metres per second for 2 seconds, how fast would I be moving after that's?
Laura: What?
Laura: Say that again.
Ron: If I was accelerating by 15 metres per second.
Laura: 30 metres per second.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Same sum, just different numbers.
Laura: So five, eight, eight times zero two.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: 1.176.
Laura: Is that it?
Ron: What was the first number?
Laura: 588.
Ron: 1.176.
Laura: Yeah, that is the answer.
Laura: What is it?
Laura: Metres per second?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: That's the velocity that the ball's travelling in.
Laura: Okay, what's velocity?
Laura: Speed, basically.
Ron: Speed in a direction.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Okay, good.
Laura: Really glad we know that.
Ron: Yeah, me too.
Ron: Okay, cool.
Ron: So that's how much momentum it's no, that's what velocity it's got.
Ron: So how much momentum does it have?
Laura: Okay, so momentum.
Laura: So that is 170 times 1.176.
Ron: Are you sure?
Laura: No.
Laura: 1.71.7.
Laura: Don't need to say the O.
Laura: No, I thought momentum was mass times velocity.
Ron: It is.
Ron: So what's its mass in kilogrammes?
Laura: 1.7.
Ron: How many grammes in a kilogramme?
Laura: One.
Laura: Seven times 1.176.
Laura: So p equals zero.
Laura: Let's call it 20.
Laura: Two.
Ron: No, we need to know this properly.
Laura: Zero nine, two.
Ron: Okay, let's call it two.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: That's how much momentum it's got.
Ron: Now, in a closed system, we know.
Laura: What a closed which everything is, we assume.
Ron: Yeah, there is a sorry, I'm just itching my foot.
Laura: You look like you're jerking off.
Laura: It's horrible.
Laura: Mackie does when she's having a go at a little god, when she's just.
Ron: Chilling herself on the carpet for hours.
Ron: It's horrible at your house.
Laura: Well, you're never invited back.
Ron: In a closed system, there is something called the conservation of momentum.
Laura: Oh, cute.
Ron: Like the WWF, the total momentum.
Laura: Well, if you picked a little safari.
Ron: Guys wondering, it's actually quite different from.
Laura: Feeding bamboo to little peas.
Ron: It's quite different to the WWF because it works.
Ron: Momentum is conserved, unlike wildlife.
Laura: Hey, there's at least two pandas in Edinburgh.
Ron: Anyway, the total momentum before an event is equal to the total momentum after an event.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Okay, so the snooker ball that we hit, let's say it hits another snooker ball, okay.
Laura: Sure.
Ron: After that collision, our snooker ball is only travelling at zero three metres per second.
Ron: How fast is the other one travelling?
Laura: Zero three.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Let's take that away from what we had originally then.
Laura: So 1.176 minus zero 3.876.
Ron: You sure?
Laura: I really felt quite confident.
Ron: But we're talking about velocities.
Ron: There not momentum then.
Laura: No.
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: It might be the same.
Ron: The snooker balls are the same size.
Ron: Yeah, probably is.
Laura: What?
Ron: Yeah, it's probably the same.
Ron: It's fine.
Ron: We can.
Laura: That is such a damp squib of an ending, Ron.
Laura: Sort of implying, no, that's wrong, and then going out, but f*** it, who cares?
Laura: That is damp, even for your level of moisture.
Ron: I don't think I can be blamed for being the unenthusiastic one about this topic.
Ron: Neither enthusiastic, neither of us care about this?
Laura: Well, no.
Ron: So we either need to work together and both be enthusiastic.
Laura: All right, let's try that.
Laura: But I don't think it's going to last long.
Ron: No, that's why I don't think we'll be able to fake that for a second.
Laura: No, go on.
Laura: Let's be peppy.
Laura: Let's be peppy podcast hosts.
Laura: Oh, my God, Ron, this is really blasting my brain orbs.
Laura: Let's go through that again.
Laura: Well, the next ron, use a peppy tone.
Ron: Well, the next bit that we were going to do is to do with the fact that velocities are vector.
Laura: And now we're like, oh, my God.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: Scalar and vector quantities.
Laura: We've covered those before, haven't we?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Do you want to give us a quick definition?
Laura: Vector has depth and determination where scalar is not a density quantity.
Laura: Just keep it peppy.
Laura: Keep it peppy.
Ron: But that's the difference between us and Fry and Rutherford, is that neither of them are duncers.
Laura: Vector magnitude.
Laura: That's the word I wanted.
Ron: Depth and quantity is what you said.
Ron: It's got magnitude and direction.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: You remembered it had two things.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And funky.
Ron: Laura, I didn't have to know what you meant because I know.
Laura: Oh, that's why it's so great working with you.
Ron: Okay, keep it peppy.
Ron: So before no, before we worked out the momentum that the ball had in.
Laura: The direction it was travelling, instead of.
Ron: A CBB's mom in the direction it was travelling.
Laura: Hello.
Ron: We worked out we worked out the direct the momentum the ball had in the direction it was travelling.
Ron: Is that better?
Ron: In the Justin voice?
Laura: Yeah, it was great.
Ron: Let's say that we hit the ball at a 30 degree angle.
Ron: What's its momentum towards the end of the table?
Laura: What?
Laura: 30 degree angle?
Laura: 30 degree momentum.
Laura: What's the degrees got to do with the momentum?
Ron: Well, velocity is a vector quantity, isn't it?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: And we've not hit it directly at the end of the table, we've hit it at an angle.
Laura: What do you want me to do?
Ron: Work out its momentum towards the end of the table.
Laura: Okay, start me at the beginning and let's do that together.
Ron: I wrote this down.
Ron: Do you have to use trigonometry to do this?
Ron: We might not be able to do this.
Ron: To be honest, I thought it was going to be a Pythagoras thing.
Ron: It is a pythagoras thing.
Ron: We just need to know how big a snooker table is.
Ron: Do we?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: Let's just stop, eh?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Was that a better end?
Laura: I am cross with you for setting me puzles that you don't have the answer to.
Ron: I thought I did at the time, but I never work out the answer.
Laura: And I hate it.
Laura: Sounds about right.
Laura: That might be the next hat we make.
Ron: What does Rho N y stand for?
Laura: We are Housewives of New York.
Ron: Oh.
Ron: This is our shared Google history.
Ron: Rat years to human years.
Ron: Define vestating.
Ron: 26 mph in metres.
Ron: Per second.
Ron: How much does a Snookable weigh?
Ron: R-H-O-B-H-R-H.
Ron: Beverly Hills.
Ron: R-H-O-N-Y-Y reboot cast.
Ron: R-H-O-N-Y reboot cast R-H-O-N-Y.
Ron: Bedroom curtains.
Ron: Mathos.
Laura: Now we can end.
Laura: I'm panicked because I already know I can remember this episode and it was so mathsy and it was like one of those ones where there were nine sums to get the answer and it was all letters in the sums.
Laura: And I just know what the quiz is going to be.
Laura: It's just going to be you going do those thumbs again and then saying, Sounds about right.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I just think you should find a fun way to do this quiz.
Ron: I have, actually.
Laura: Have you?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: What?
Ron: Rather than it being a snooker ball this time, we're going to talk about a cricket ball.
Ron: Because you love cricket.
Laura: I do love cricket.
Ron: So let's say no.
Laura: Ron, can we have a bit of preamble before we get to the quiz?
Laura: Because I don't want to do any of those sums and I really who's your favourite cricketer?
Laura: Mine?
Laura: All time legacy.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: It's a great question.
Laura: Monty Panasar.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Just seemed like such a nice guy.
Laura: Great bowling.
Ron: What made his bowling good?
Laura: I think he was a spin bowler, I think.
Ron: What's good about spin bowling?
Laura: I don't really know.
Laura: I don't really understand cricket.
Laura: I just like it.
Laura: It's very calming.
Ron: Okay, right.
Laura: No.
Ron: Laura ready.
Laura: I'm not ready.
Ron: I tried so hard.
Ron: Then I bowled you a softie and you just decided to not engage with.
Laura: It, so I don't really know.
Laura: I'm not ready.
Ron: I tried to meet you on something I thought you'd be interested in.
Laura: I am interested in it, but it doesn't mean I know anything about it.
Ron: Yeah, but you could have talked passionately about it for a bit, but you.
Laura: Just were like what shall I say?
Ron: I was just trying to tee you up.
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: Teeing up is golf.
Laura: Does my eye look small?
Laura: It's got loads of sun lotion in it.
Ron: You look like a squinting pig.
Ron: It's horrible.
Laura: It really hurts.
Laura: And I think I can't do maths now because it hurts.
Ron: Okay, then that's the end of the episode.
Laura: Ron, let's work together on it, yeah?
Ron: All right.
Ron: I'll read it out.
Ron: You do it.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: No, you help me do it all the way.
Laura: Cricket ball.
Laura: A cricket ball because I've hurt my finger.
Laura: It's hard to make notes because I can't rest my pen.
Laura: Where I've hurt my finger, a cricket ball is hit.
Laura: Ron, slow down.
Ron: What part of that did you need me to slow down?
Laura: Because I just told you I am struggling to write because of my finger.
Laura: I can't hold the pen properly.
Ron: What part of that did you need to write down?
Laura: Cricket ball.
Ron: Why?
Ron: It doesn't matter.
Laura: It has to matter, otherwise it's all s***.
Ron: A cricket ball is hit with a force of 580 newtons.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It makes contact with the bat for zero 3 seconds.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Cricket balls weigh 156 grammes.
Laura: Is that true?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Wait, what part?
Laura: The weight of a cricket ball.
Ron: Yes, that's true.
Ron: How much momentum does the cricket ball have?
Laura: It ah.
Laura: F***.
Laura: So ron momentum.
Laura: What are you doing?
Laura: What are you doing?
Laura: What are you doing?
Ron: Entertain myself.
Ron: While you do this?
Laura: No, because I can't do it's.
Laura: Oh, God.
Laura: It's p equals M times V.
Laura: And we've got the mass.
Laura: That's 156.
Laura: But we have to call it 00:15 because of conversion.
Laura: Is that right, Ron?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Okay, but we don't know the velocity, do we?
Laura: Not yet, no.
Laura: That's what we need f equals ma for.
Laura: This better be the last maths ever.
Laura: And F was f was 580.
Laura: Is that right, Ron?
Laura: Ron?
Ron: F was 580.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: You aren't helping.
Ron: I am helping.
Laura: You're not.
Laura: I had to shower you then to get your attention.
Laura: Ron?
Ron: Yeah?
Laura: What's the acceleration?
Ron: What do you need to know for the acceleration?
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: Do you maybe need to use another formula?
Laura: Oh.
Laura: A equals see?
Laura: So many formulas.
Laura: We're starting too far away from the answer.
Ron: It's two formulas.
Laura: Three, two, three.
Laura: P equals MV.
Laura: F equals ma.
Laura: A equals F over M.
Laura: That's the same formula.
Laura: No, it isn't.
Ron: It's been rearranged.
Laura: That's a different formula then, isn't it?
Ron: No.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Ron: No, it's not.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Yes, it is.
Laura: Right.
Laura: 580 divided by zero five six equals 3000.
Laura: That doesn't feel right, but let's go with it.
Laura: 3718.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Now let's so why was I doing F equals ma?
Laura: For?
Laura: No reason, really, I think.
Laura: Is that right?
Laura: I don't even know.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: What did I need a for?
Ron: What's a?
Laura: Don't know.
Laura: Acceleration?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: What would the acceleration tell you if you knew how long it was accelerating for?
Laura: Don't know.
Ron: What's?
Ron: Acceleration.
Laura: Acceleration.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So if you know how long something's accelerating for, you explain to me the concept of acceleration.
Laura: Well, it's how much you're speeding up.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: And if you know how much you're speeding up and for how long.
Ron: What can you work out your speed?
Ron: Velocity?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: F****** h***.
Laura: Which one was it?
Laura: A is a.
Ron: What is a acceleration.
Laura: Okay, so I do that times by zero three.
Laura: Is that right?
Ron: Zero three.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Okay, so that's 11.5.
Laura: That's my velocity.
Laura: Eleven point 15.
Laura: And then that is times zero six, 1.74.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: Is that the momentum or is that the velocity?
Laura: That is the momentum.
Laura: What was I supposed to be working out?
Ron: The momentum?
Laura: Yeah, 1.74.
Ron: How fast was the ball travelling?
Laura: Eleven point 15 metres per second.
Ron: Very nice.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Is that what you've got written down, Ron?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: You haven't written it down.
Ron: I don't need to.
Laura: You do because you don't know if I'm right or not.
Ron: I do, because you did the right things.
Ron: That's the beauty of math.
Laura: But what if I got my sums wrong somewhere?
Ron: How would you have gotten your sums wrong?
Laura: I might have got fat thumbs and pressed the wrong button on my calculator.
Ron: You don't have fat thumbs.
Ron: You got shrimpy.
Ron: Little stumps.
Laura: We saw finger.
Ron: I've got a greasy foot now.
Ron: And I don't know why the cricket ball collides with a bowling ball in the air, which weighs seven kilos.
Ron: After the collision, the cricket ball is moving at two metres per second.
Ron: How fast is the bowling ball moving?
Laura: What the f***?
Laura: What?
Laura: I think it has stopped.
Laura: If a cricket ball hit a bowling ball bowling ball is way heavier.
Laura: Stopped what?
Laura: I can't answer that.
Ron: Why?
Laura: How can I know that?
Ron: Work it out.
Laura: How?
Ron: Conservation of momentum.
Laura: But we didn't really do that.
Laura: You just said probably right, and we didn't look at it properly.
Ron: The momentum will be the same at the end as it was at the beginning.
Laura: What momentum?
Ron: The total momentum.
Laura: Whose momentum?
Ron: The total momentum.
Laura: Sometimes you are chatting so much grub, and you think it's perfectly reasonable, so.
Ron: What was I just don't know how to say it any differently.
Laura: What number momentum did you say?
Ron: The momentum that you worked out.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Right.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: What numbers did you give me?
Laura: A cricket ball is seven kilos.
Ron: A bowling ball weighs seven kilos.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: The cricket ball after the collision is moving at two metres per second.
Laura: Oh, I don't know.
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: Ron, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Laura: 1.8.
Ron: Work it out.
Laura: No, I don't know how.
Ron: You haven't tried.
Laura: Well, I have no idea how to do that.
Ron: Why not?
Laura: Because I don't know what sums to do.
Ron: The momentum will be the same at the end.
Laura: I don't know the momentum of either ball right now.
Ron: You know the momentum of the cricket ball.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: But that's like saying, oh, you knew where Spain was before, but you know that.
Ron: Laura, you know the speed of the cricket ball afterwards.
Ron: So maybe you could work out the momentum.
Ron: I've told you, it's two metres per second.
Laura: Right.
Ron: So maybe you could work out the momentum from that.
Laura: I can't.
Ron: Why not?
Laura: How can I do that?
Ron: Because you know the velocity and you know the weight of the cricket ball.
Ron: Nothing's f****** changed.
Laura: So, 00:15 times two?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Well, that's loads.
Ron: No, it's not.
Laura: All right, then.
Laura: Depends on your scale, doesn't it?
Laura: 00:15 times 20312.
Ron: Yep.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: And then I'll take 1.74.
Laura: Why is the momentum the same?
Ron: Because of the conservation of momentum.
Laura: It's not a thing, is it?
Laura: One point.
Ron: Momentum is just like kinetic energy instilled into something.
Laura: 1.428.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: That's the remaining momentum.
Ron: That's the momentum of the bowling ball, then.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: The bowling ball weighs seven kilos.
Ron: How quickly is it travelling?
Laura: For f***'s sake.
Laura: I know.
Laura: I'm sick of you.
Ron: You can't just be silent because you also tell me off for talking.
Laura: When you're doing stuff, you say don't just say stuff.
Laura: You say don't say everything that comes into your head.
Laura: You say, don't go quiet and think.
Laura: You say don't do everything.
Laura: Basically, you are a piece of crap and I hate you.
Laura: 00:24 metres per second.
Ron: Talk me through your sums.
Laura: No, just tell me if it's right or not.
Ron: Talk me through your sums.
Laura: Just tell me if it's right or not.
Ron: No, because you get marks for workings.
Laura: Well, you have to show me what you've got written down and then I'll talk you through my sums.
Ron: No, I don't.
Laura: Yes, you do.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because it's not fair if you don't actually know if I've got it right or not.
Ron: Well, I don't know if you've got it right or not if you don't tell me what you did.
Laura: Well, you can do it and then see if you get .204, and then if you do, then I have no.
Ron: You just get zero marks then.
Laura: Why?
Ron: Because you're not telling me your workings.
Laura: Because I think it's right.
Ron: Well, tell me your workings, then.
Laura: I did.
Laura: P divided by M.
Laura: Yeah, that's right.
Laura: Right, so f****** you do it.
Laura: What is it?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: What you said, I hate it when you don't know.
Laura: And then how do I feel good about myself?
Ron: Because I'm telling you, you got it right.
Ron: Well done.
Ron: You had a h*** of a lot of help along the way.
Laura: I f****** didn't.
Ron: You initially said the bowling ball wouldn't move, and then you said, how could I possibly know this?
Laura: Oh, yeah, but this is like the maths of whether it moves.
Laura: I think in real life, the cricket ball would stop moving.
Ron: Well, yeah, because it wouldn't exist.
Ron: A cricket ball a bowling ball would not just be floating in the air for a cricket ball to hit.
Laura: Maybe it would.
Laura: Maybe it's just been fired out of a cannon.
Ron: No, but then it would have momentum beforehand, wouldn't it?
Laura: If it's been maybe the cricket ball hits it just as its momentum's run out.
Ron: Well, actually, momentum is a vector quantity, so it could have been travelling this way, but we're talking about the momentum in that direction.
Ron: So it would have had zero.
Laura: Yeah, there you go.
Laura: That's what I was saying.
Laura: Is that it now?
Laura: And that's the end of the maths.
Laura: Right?
Laura: There's no more maths now.
Ron: No, of course there's going to be loads more maths.
Laura: I thought you said this was the end of a bit.
Ron: It's the end of a bit, yes.
Laura: The notes mean it's the end of math.
Laura: They make me feel sick.
Laura: Is that it?
Laura: Is that the end of the quiz?
Ron: Yep.
Laura: I nailed that kind of shut up.
Laura: I was brilliant.
Laura: Ron, having listened to that podcast where we stopped approximately three times, do you think there's a chance our podcast has too much introductions in it?
Ron: No, not in an episode like that.
Ron: Like, if that had been an episode that either one of us had been passionate about, then potentially, I'd have said, yeah, maybe we should have kept on on the content, firm hand on the tiller.
Ron: But in that episode, that was kind of like just a bit of a skid mark, I think more intros the better.
Laura: Please stop referring to our podcast as a skid mark.
Ron: You called it a husky pob of science or something.
Ron: Why am I not allowed to say.
Laura: Because husky pob doesn't mean anything.
Laura: A skid mark is a smear of s***.
Laura: You're the worst.
Laura: Right, listeners, we've got some questions.
Laura: Have you heard of Curtis Steiger's?
Laura: What did your mums dance to in the kitchen?
Ron: Or Dads?
Laura: Or Dads?
Laura: The merch question.
Laura: The eternal merch question.
Laura: Should we make something else?
Laura: What would your highest amount that you would spend on some luxed merch be?
Laura: Would you buy it?
Laura: Let us know and we will get it sorted before Christmas.
Laura: Oh, and finally, should Ron have to work out the answers to things that I'm working out?
Laura: I might put a poll somewhere because it's driving me crazy.
Laura: That sounds about right and I need closure on it.
Ron: No, see, this is the difference between knowing something and just regurgitating something, because I can hear you work it out and I know if you've got it right or not, because you don't listen.
Laura: You playing your guitar.
Ron: I do listen.
Laura: You don't listen.
Ron: I do.
Ron: Whereas you just want a little tick and a little pat on the head.
Ron: Oh, well done.
Ron: You said 11.4.
Ron: No, it's all about what I want.
Laura: Ron, is a cuddle and an invite to a barbecue, but it's not coming, so, yeah, I'll take a tick and a pat on the head.
Ron: Move to Bristol, then you can come to barbecues.
Laura: No, you moved to Brighton, then you can invite me to them.
Ron: I already moved to Brighton twice.
Laura: You didn't move to Brighton twice.
Laura: You moved to Brighton once and then you squatted in Brighton and s*** on my life in it.
Ron: I didn't s*** on your life in it.
Laura: Did.
Laura: No, you say things like, you've got a one year old now, you don't do anything.
Ron: Yeah, but I didn't say that when I lived there.
Laura: No, you say it now.
Laura: You said worse things when you lived there, like, Your child is horrible.
Ron: I never said Your child is horrible.
Laura: You said that things along those lines.
Ron: Lovely Steven from the listener base, he probably wanted to go to the pub and I said, no, mate, no.
Ron: When I'm in Brighton, I'm hanging out with niece of the podcast.
Laura: What about Sister of the podcast?
Ron: Me sister of the podcast.
Ron: F*** off.
Laura: Right, do the register.
Ron: Can you hear that, Lester?
Ron: Oh, God, that golden in the background.
Ron: What is that?
Ron: The wind whistling through velvet ropes and the sun beaming down on red carpet.
Ron: The rich smell of mahogany and exotic spices never seen in these regions before.
Ron: Luxurious purple smoke hangs in the air as you approach.
Ron: You see two sharply dressed, slender androgynous beautiful people step forward and open the shiny black double doors.
Ron: You enter and descend down the stairs.
Ron: There are lights on the floor and sweat on the walls.
Ron: Cages and poles.
Ron: Call off the search for your soul or put it on hold again.
Ron: She's having a sly indoor smoke.
Ron: She calls the folks that run this her oldest friends.
Ron: You keep walking to the bar and a chiselled bartender hands you your favourite drink.
Ron: You reach for your wallet, but he shakes his head and winks in a charming way, not a creepy way.
Ron: Your money is no good here.
Ron: You have good credit amongst friends.
Ron: You stand taking in the crowd, feeling the beat of the music pass through your chest.
Ron: The crowd is singing along loudly to the Lexx Education and dancing, grinding up against each other.
Ron: A beautiful person proffers.
Ron: A hand beckoning you to join them on the dance floor.
Ron: You raise a hand to decline and they're not even weird about it.
Ron: They just give you a look, like maybe later.
Ron: And then they get back to dancing without making a big thing of it.
Ron: You light up a cigarette.
Ron: Cigarettes are actually good for you here.
Ron: Feel your lungs growing to two, maybe three times the size they were before.
Ron: Powerful, powerful lungs.
Ron: Through the dance floor there is a door cast in shadows, only briefly illuminated by lights flashing.
Ron: You approach, drawn there as if a cord was attached to your chest, pulling you closer and closer.
Ron: You do the signature knock.
Ron: A slot slides open and you see a stunningly makeuped eye looking at you.
Ron: Posh word makeup, they say in a sultry voice.
Ron: Down, you say, and the slot clacks shut and the door swings open.
Ron: You step inside.
Ron: You're bathed in white light and you feel the very edges of yourself blur as a fizzing warmth invades your senses and shakes your soul until even time itself is a disc upon which you walk hand in hand with Laura and Ron getting swung like a toddler between them.
Ron: One, two, three.
Ron: We you are home now.
Laura: We like that.
Ron: The Lexx Education VIP lounge.
Ron: Thank you, Curious Echidna, for upping your pledge.
Ron: You were already supporting us and it means the world that you thought enough of us to up your pledge after all the p****** and moaning we've been doing recently.
Ron: You're there.
Laura: Thank you, Curious Echidna, and we hope that that showed you just how much you mean to us.
Laura: If you would like to be thanked on Lexx Education with a similarly but probably shorter thank you, then go to Forward Slash Lexxeducation and sign up to just give us three pounds a month to just help us keep the podcast going.
Ron: Is that too long.
Laura: No.
Laura: It was beautiful, Ron.
Laura: It was a thing of beauty.
Laura: We're at the London Podcast Festival this year.
Laura: If you want one ticket to see us in November, there is one ticket left to our cheerful Ear full live show.
Laura: There are plenty left to the London Podcast Festival on the of September.
Laura: That's about two weeks away.
Laura: So please do grab your tickets and we will see you next week for another beautiful episode of Lexx Education.
Ron: Class dismissed.
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