Tom Parry Doesn't Think You're Funny

 Laura: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education on the Road.

Laura: My name is Laura Lexx.

Laura: I'm a comedian, writer, author.

Laura: Those are the same always.

Laura: That's true.

Laura: Yeah, I'm both of those.

Laura: Shut up.

Laura: Who's questioning me?

Laura: It's you, you sneaks.

Laura: And I'm being taught science.

Laura: This isn't the normal intro by My in the kitchen brother Ron.

Ron: Hello.

Laura: Bonjour.

Laura: Enclon sava sava ben mercy.

Laura: We're both on noisy chairs today.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: There's many things running around.

Ron: They range from destructive to quite gentle.

Laura: Yes.

Laura: We've got agony.

Laura: Dad's.

Laura: Dog.

Laura: Toby.

Laura: We've got child of the podcast and we've got the gentle boy.

Ron: The gentle boy is in circulation.

Laura: The gentle boy is currently distracting.

Laura: Both of the destructive things, though, so pretty cool.

Laura: We did our live show yesterday, so we're both quite giddy.

Speaker C: Giddy.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: We were on the road all day.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: Yesterday such a long day.

Ron: But it was worth it.

Ron: We loved it.

Laura: It went well, didn't it?

Laura: We were there going like, look, it's only an hour, let's just do it.

Laura: And then the performance was 90 minutes.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And we had a lovely time.

Ron: And we got to half an hour in and we were on slide two.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Ron made a slideshow and everybody came dressed as rats and lab technicians under.

Ron: And there was a lock technician there.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Laura: Hi, Gareth.

Ron: We love you, man.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And there were people there that had never heard the podcast before, who had been dragged by their friends and lizards.

Laura: George.

Laura: It was George's birthday.

Ron: Happy birthday again, George.

Ron: Thank you for coming.

Ron: We've been told you enjoyed it.

Speaker C: Yes.

Laura: So thank you for making it such a lovely day.

Laura: We were both really nervous because I know I perform a lot, but I know what I'm doing in those performances, like a new format terrifies the pants off me.

Laura: And this was your first live comedy performance?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: I wasn't nervous, though.

Ron: I was drunk.

Laura: You were drunk, but it worked.

Laura: And we do have another live show in November, but that one is sold out.

Laura: Sold out tickets.

Laura: So, sorry, if you don't have a ticket to that, you can't come.

Laura: But we are looking into being at the Leicester Festival next February, so hopefully some people can come to that one if you want to.

Laura: And if you are now sitting there thinking, actually, that sounded quite fun, I wish I could hear that.

Laura: We will be putting out the recording of the live show on our patreon feed, so for three quid, you can watch it.

Laura: Not watch it.

Laura: Sorry.

Laura: I think just listen to it.

Laura: I think they only sent me an audio recording, but you can listen to it.

Laura: So join the patreon and listen to all the extra content we've done.

Laura: Plus that recording.

Ron: There was definitely a man filming the large swathes of it, so we might get some content out there, maybe not the whole thing.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Laura: Anyway, that's done now.

Laura: It's in the bin.

Laura: It's gone.

Laura: It's in the past.

Laura: It was yesterday.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Laura: We drove for so long.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: My tummy is very sad about my burger.

Ron: Yeah, Laura got a sneaker rude with a meaty burger.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Laura: Had a dilemma yesterday because I'm a vegetarian, but I've only been a vegetarian for two years.

Laura: And the rest of my life I've eaten meat and I'm a vegetarian for environmental reasons and because I hate the idea of something dying for me.

Laura: Don't want to eat meat anymore?

Laura: Fine.

Laura: Yesterday ordered a vegan burger at Burger King and then we worked so late to a gig I was doing in Bournemouth after not Bournemouth boscom.

Laura: Sorry if anybody's listening from the gig, man, they got s***** about me calling it Bournemouth.

Laura: I am a terror.

Laura: And I got in the car and my burger wasn't vegan, it was a meatburger.

Ron: And not just a meatburger, it was three beef patties with bacon and cheese.

Laura: And then I didn't know what to do, because to my mind, I might as well just eat it because it's dead now.

Laura: I didn't pay for it.

Laura: I didn't support the meat industry.

Laura: But to waste that food is just stupider than eating it.

Laura: That's how I feel about it.

Laura: I know other people's opinions on vegetarianism are different, but that's how I feel.

Laura: I just think, what's the point of wasting it?

Laura: So I did eat it.

Laura: And my tummy is sad.

Laura: I was really sad.

Laura: I eat meat.

Laura: There's the child of the podcast and the dog of the podcast.

Ron: I'm here.

Speaker C: Yay.

Laura: What did you think of the live show yesterday?

Ron: Oh, it's great.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And you've never heard a single episode, have?

Ron: No.

Ron: I'm a big fan now.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Hello, Toby.

Ron: Yes, hello.

Ron: Childhood mine.

Ron: Thank you.

Ron: Gentle boy.

Laura: So that was my dilemma yesterday.

Laura: And that was on top of what was already a very stressful oh, we did so much driving in so many different weathers.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Well, just the west of the country is raining at the moment.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Anyway, happy birthday.

Laura: A belated birthday to Mike.

Laura: It was actually your birthday last week, Mike.

Laura: Somehow you slipped through the cast spreadsheet of glory.

Laura: And we didn't say happy birthday on the episode, so I wanted to say it this week.

Laura: Child of the podcast.

Laura: Are you just taking tissues?

Laura: I thought, are these your wet wipes that you're just throwing in the bin?

Laura: Why are you doing that?

Laura: Where is the wet wipe packet?

Ron: Anyway?

Ron: Happy birthday, Mike.

Ron: Thank you for being a constant supporter.

Laura: It's really the first one she threw in the bin was a used one.

Laura: I didn't realise she was just transporting out the packet into the bin.

Laura: Happy birthday, Mike.

Ron: Big member of the discord.

Ron: Big member of the patreon.

Ron: A trumpet teacher, I believe.

Laura: And also a big happy birthday for this week.

Laura: To Nikki for today.

Ron: I believe it was today.

Speaker C: Happy birthday, Nikki.

Ron: Happy birthday, Nicky.

Laura: Your partner got in touch to tell us how much you love the podcast.

Laura: And we love you and we hope you have a smashing birthday full of cake and biscuits or broccoli or sunshine.

Ron: Or rain or ducks or marigold activity or two, maybe.

Laura: Or no activities.

Ron: Or no activities.

Ron: But then that would be an activity.

Laura: That you whatever you want, Nikki.

Laura: It's on you, babes.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Go to a yo Sushi if you like that.

Laura: If you like that.

Ron: If not, other Sushi restaurants are open.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Have no Sushi if you don't want yo sushi.

Laura: We're not affiliated with Sushi.

Laura: Right.

Laura: We should do an episode now.

Laura: Oh, also, I asked husband of the podcast about breathing, as per last week's episode, your ridiculous claims, and he agrees with me.

Ron: I love the bang.

Ron: He's a brother to me.

Ron: Not going to really take his advice on exercise.

Laura: No, that's fair.

Ron: Don't talk about it.

Speaker C: Don't talk about ficus don't talk about it.

Speaker C: I want to talk about it.

Speaker C: I want to talk about it.

Ron: Are we recording?

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker C: I think the fighting would be the second least thing I hated about being in a fight club.

Speaker C: The not talking about it would be much.

Ron: Right.

Ron: And you hate Ed Norton.

Speaker C: Do I?

Speaker C: I don't think I do.

Speaker C: I don't know him.

Speaker C: No, I think he's all right, isn't he?

Speaker C: Ed Norton?

Speaker C: I do hate that bit in American History X where he does curb stomping.

Ron: I must be thinking of someone else.

Speaker C: Edward Scissorhands.

Speaker C: Norton Fitzwarren.

Ron: Edward Norton Fitzwarren.

Speaker C: He was the slayer of the meat dragon.

Ron: Go.

Ron: Listen to Lawmen.

Speaker C: Not lawnmen, though.

Speaker C: That is a podcast about flat Scottish sausage.

Ron: Wow.

Speaker C: DA.

Speaker C: You thought I was going to go grass, didn't you?

Speaker C: But I didn't.

Ron: I was about to, actually.

Ron: Yes, and that by talking about someone I know called Lorne.

Speaker C: Lorne Michaels?

Ron: No, but then I remembered that this guy that I know called Lorne is just a client that I work with.

Speaker C: You shouldn't talk about him.

Speaker C: No GDPR.

Ron: Good guy, though.

Ron: Scary over email, but get him on the phone and he's actually quite nice.

Speaker C: What does he do over email?

Speaker C: Just send you knives?

Ron: It's just very blunt to the point that you're like, Whoa, have I really f***** up?

Ron: And then you get him on the phone and he's really nice, but he's just no nonsense on email.

Speaker C: I think I'm a bit like that on emails because I get so worried about answering people's questions that I just answer them all and then if I forget to go back and put in nice things, I just reply quite brutally.

Ron: I'm like that in emails because I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior, so I am actually quite brutal with people in emails.

Ron: And then you get me on the phone and I'm quite nice.

Speaker C: So you and Lorn are probably like reflections of one another.

Ron: It's probably why we get on so well.

Ron: Just best buds.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: It's probably why you're going to go to the movies together and sit on a blanket on the bonnet.

Ron: He lives in New York.

Speaker C: I'm afraid that's the perfect place to go to a drive in.

Ron: No, it's not.

Speaker C: Why?

Ron: Because it's big city.

Speaker C: Big city.

Speaker C: Huck down.

Speaker C: Summer in the city.

Speaker C: Pretty cool down.

Ron: It's not the classic view of New York City.

Speaker C: Rooftop cinema.

Ron: Rooftop 2000, just like f****** When Harry Met Sally is getting projected at the side of the Chrysler Building.

Speaker C: I've watched a lot of Real Housewives of New York City.

Speaker C: Eleven series, to be precise.

Speaker C: And New York does not look that appealing.

Speaker C: It's very much like down at heel.

Speaker C: London.

Ron: Down at heel?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: What does that mean?

Speaker C: Like, a bit shabby down at you.

Speaker C: Are you just rubbing your desk, you creep?

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: Stop it.

Speaker C: Just rubbing it like a bare back.

Speaker C: It's horrible.

Ron: Why are you rubbing bare backs?

Speaker C: You know, like when someone's bent over and you just rub their bare back.

Ron: Jesus, I didn't want to hear.

Speaker C: Well, that's why I was asking you to stop doing it.

Ron: Yeah, everyone does it, but we don't talk about it.

Ron: Not with siblings.

Speaker C: Well, stop doing it in front of me, then.

Speaker C: This is one of a weird start season for us.

Ron: You know when you're just f****** someone from behind, rub their back?

Speaker C: Well, I've never f***** anyone from behind.

Ron: Oh, you should.

Ron: It's excellent.

Speaker C: I don't have the equipment.

Speaker C: They'd have to have a real long hose.

Ron: Buy the equipment.

Speaker C: I don't think Tom wants me to.

Speaker C: He's never indicated that he like.

Ron: The worst thing about you and Tom is you'd have to stand on a stool.

Speaker C: I've got one in the kitchen.

Speaker C: My little pink one.

Ron: Yeah, she's talking about a stool.

Ron: There nothing else.

Speaker C: I'll ask Tom, but I don't think and I don't think he's going to want it to have come from a suggestion.

Speaker C: Live on the podcast last with you.

Ron: No, don't.

Ron: Peg tom.

Speaker C: Okay.

Speaker C: All right, then.

Speaker C: I hope he's in the room when I'm editing this one.

Ron: Okay, let's do some science.

Ron: Me.

Ron: Right.

Ron: So we're actually moving on.

Speaker C: We don't have to in this bit, do we?

Ron: No.

Ron: So we're moving on.

Ron: So we did equilibrium last time.

Speaker C: In equilibrium.

Ron: We're moving on to a whole new section.

Ron: Are we excited?

Ron: Let's hear a cheer for a new section.

Speaker C: A whole new section.

Speaker C: With no formulas or maths at all.

Ron: There's no formulas or numbers at all.

Ron: Yeah, we're just learning about carbon.

Speaker C: Carbon.

Speaker C: Full as equilibrium balls.

Ron: So we're monster fullerene.

Speaker C: We're onto they're made of carbon.

Speaker C: Carbon fibre.

Speaker C: Carbon hydrate.

Ron: F****** we're onto 5.7 organic chemistry.

Speaker C: Just 5.7?

Speaker C: That's a short one.

Ron: Yeah, because the next bit is 5.7.1.

Speaker C: The thing about organic chemistry is it costs a little bit more than normal chemistry, but is essentially the same stuff.

Ron: It's homegrown and beautiful.

Speaker C: I've got in my notes with a dark green label.

Ron: Do you know what organic chemistry is.

Speaker C: Do you know what?

Speaker C: I think it's the chemistry of organisms.

Ron: It is.

Ron: But why is it that I've already said it.

Ron: Why is it that carbon?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: It's the chemistry of carbon.

Speaker C: I've written down.

Ron: You ever heard the phrase carbon based life forms?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: What does that mean?

Ron: Well, everything that we know of that is alive is a carbon based life form, because all of the molecules that make it up, at least in the majority of them, the vast, vast, vast majority, are based off carbon.

Ron: So organic chemistry is verging on molecular biology, biochemistry.

Ron: This is what I studied at university.

Ron: It's the study of life, basically.

Speaker C: Study of life.

Ron: What properties does carbon have that make it good for this?

Speaker C: Laura a villa in Spain, a three bedroom apartment in Newcastle, a little cottage in the Welsh valleys.

Speaker C: Ron, at least smile.

Speaker C: I was so quick there.

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: Giggle, giggle, giggle.

Speaker C: What was the question?

Speaker C: What properties does carbon have?

Ron: Yeah, this is a different kind of no nonsense, because I actually like this type of care.

Speaker C: Oh, cool.

Speaker C: As long as I know why it's not fun, it's all right.

Ron: Well, you're always like, Ron, you've got to teach me science.

Ron: You can't be despondent and out of it all the time.

Ron: Someone's got to drive the content forwards.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: These are reasonable assertions.

Ron: And here I am.

Ron: Let's go.

Speaker C: Four connections.

Ron: Very good.

Ron: Laura why can carbon form four connections?

Speaker C: It's got four holes in.

Ron: Slash.

Ron: Elaborate.

Speaker C: Four arms.

Ron: What makes up those arms?

Speaker C: Polymers.

Ron: Don't just say things when you say forearms.

Ron: Don't just say things when you say 14.

Ron: Don't just f****** say things because you're coming off as a dump.

Ron: Ins.

Ron: Again, when you're saying arms, there coming off the carbon four, what is it forming?

Ron: What are those four things?

Speaker C: Bonds.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: What type of bond?

Speaker C: Oh.

Speaker C: Which ones is it?

Speaker C: Sad boys.

Speaker C: Sad boys?

Ron: Sad boys are electrons.

Ron: That's not a type of bond.

Ron: It involves sad boys.

Ron: But then doesn't everything?

Speaker C: Ah, protons.

Ron: Again, a particle.

Speaker C: Bonds.

Ron: They are bonds.

Ron: Yes, dumbbens.

Speaker C: Electrons.

Ron: Electrons are part of it.

Ron: Yes, dumbbells.

Ron: But what type of bond is it?

Ron: What are the different types of bond?

Ron: Name one of them.

Ron: Make my day.

Speaker C: Type of bond.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Make my day.

Ron: Please.

Ron: Just name one of them.

Ron: Like a weird Dirty Harry.

Ron: Make my day.

Ron: Name a bond.

Speaker C: Types of bond.

Ron: Types of bond?

Ron: Yeah.

Speaker C: What do you mean?

Ron: What do you know all the different types of bond that we've talked about?

Ron: F****** incessantly.

Ron: What if I told you that metallic.

Speaker C: Bond was oh, yeah, covalent.

Ron: Covalent bonds.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Carbon.

Ron: Four covalent bonds.

Ron: Now, I am setting myself up for a fall here.

Ron: Setting myself up for a fall here.

Ron: When I ask you, Laura, what is a covalent bond?

Ron: How does a covalent bond work?

Speaker C: They both.

Ron: What do you mean by they?

Ron: Let's not start off vague, because it.

Speaker C: Will only get vaguer both elements in the bond use the same electron off each of them.

Ron: Just one?

Speaker C: No, one of each of them joined together and then they both use both of them.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: They share a pair of electrons.

Ron: Stepparents they share a pair of electrons.

Speaker C: So this is share a pair.

Speaker C: Share pairs, share a lot.

Speaker C: Share pair.

Speaker C: That is the theme tune to Covalent Bonds.

Speaker C: Share a lot.

Speaker C: Did you ever watch Care Bears?

Speaker C: Just a freeze heart.

Ron: What property of carbon allows it to make those four Covalent bonds?

Speaker C: It's got four electrons in its outer ring.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Great job, Laurie.

Ron: You're doing really well this week.

Speaker C: Thank you, Ronnie Kins.

Speaker C: Thank you, Ronnie Kins.

Ron: Ronnie Kins and Dumb Bins.

Ron: Ronnie Kins and Dumb Bins.

Speaker C: Oops, I dropped my pen.

Laura: That's not very anti.

Speaker C: Dumb bins.

Ron: No, that's quite dumb bins of oh.

Speaker C: And it was a nice shiny purple one.

Ron: Can you name any organic molecules, Laura?

Speaker C: Nope.

Ron: Yes, you can.

Speaker C: Glucose.

Ron: That's an organic molecule.

Speaker C: There we go.

Ron: Name some more.

Speaker C: Starch.

Ron: That's made of glucose.

Speaker C: Still one, though, isn't it?

Ron: Correct.

Ron: Yes.

Speaker C: Amino acid.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Keep going.

Speaker C: Why?

Speaker C: I've done some now.

Speaker C: Is there a specific one you want me to get?

Ron: No, I'm making a point.

Speaker C: Diamonds.

Ron: Yes.

Ron: Organic molecule.

Ron: Keep going.

Ron: Sausages are made up of lots of organic molecules, but they are not a molecule in of themselves.

Ron: Name another one.

Speaker C: Is it raining where you are?

Speaker C: Is it a rain episode?

Ron: First Bristol Rain Episode Ron, it's been.

Speaker C: So long since I heard the pitted patter of rain on your window.

Ron: Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Ron: Rain.

Ron: The grass really needed that.

Speaker C: It's rained loads here lately.

Ron: It's rained loads here too.

Ron: The grass didn't need that.

Ron: But that's just what people say, isn't it?

Laura: Yeah.

Speaker C: Nice.

Speaker C: Weller, for ducks.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Name another organic molecule.

Speaker C: I don't know anymore.

Ron: What do you put in your car?

Speaker C: The dog?

Speaker C: Air freshener shopping.

Speaker C: What?

Ron: Dumb bins.

Ron: Come on.

Ron: What do you put in your car?

Ron: What makes it go f*** you now?

Speaker C: I was picturing the main bit of the car.

Speaker C: Diesel.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: That's an organic molecule.

Ron: Sorry, your husband's messaging me.

Speaker C: I just back really quick.

Speaker C: What's he saying?

Speaker C: Does he not want to get pegged?

Ron: Hang on.

Ron: It went super good.

Ron: Sorry.

Ron: Recording podcast with your wife.

Ron: She has a question to ask you later.

Speaker C: Oh, that's cute that he was asking after you.

Ron: Yeah, me and Tom are just good mates.

Ron: You always sound surprised.

Speaker C: I just like that.

Speaker C: You are.

Speaker C: If only we could be as good friends, Ron.

Ron: One day.

Ron: Anyway, yes.

Ron: So these are all organic molecules, and the point that I was kind of just trying to get at there is that so much of what is around us is organic chemistry.

Ron: So organic chemistry yes.

Ron: Does kind of pertain to all of the molecules that make up living things, basically.

Ron: But it also other things that are in our lives, such as things like diesel hydrocarbons.

Ron: And then therefore plastics, which are often polymers, are also organic molecules because they are made out of carbon.

Ron: So, as you said there yes.

Ron: Carbon can form four bonds, so that means that it can form very intricate structures.

Ron: Okay.

Speaker C: Yes.

Ron: And you can connect other things to it.

Ron: So in the example that you gave of amino acids, amino acids are called as such because they have an amino group.

Speaker C: An amino group got a little tail.

Ron: It's a little nitrogen on the end.

Ron: Nitrogen can only form three bonds, so you wouldn't probably ever get nitrogen based life forms because as soon as you just decrease it down to three bonds, the sort of limits of what you can create with those molecules is vastly reduced.

Ron: Do you know what type of organism the alien from?

Ron: Alien is?

Speaker C: Hydroelectric.

Ron: What does that mean?

Ron: You mean it gets its energy from a dam?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Do you still think that now that I've explained what you said to you?

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker C: I've lost the end of one of my gel pens.

Ron: Wait, why is Robin.

Speaker C: Robin Hatcher from the noise next door?

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: Your husband's talking to him.

Speaker C: What's he saying?

Ron: He sent me.

Speaker C: I don't like that I'm not in the conversation.

Ron: You're just not one of the lads.

Speaker C: What's?

Ron: Everyone saying you're just not one of the lads.

Ron: You can't know.

Ron: Just me, Tom and Robin are all just good mates.

Speaker C: Well, it's not fair, is it?

Ron: No.

Ron: Nobody wants to hang out with Laura.

Ron: When we were talking with the f****** Pappies boys, they loved a slice of ron.

Ron: They did not care for Laura.

Ron: Laura, Laura.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Ron: Do you know what type of no ron?

Speaker C: I don't know.

Ron: Why are you grumpy now?

Speaker C: You just sat there slagging me off for five minutes and then you expect me to just be peppy afterwards.

Speaker C: Oh, no one likes you.

Speaker C: Hey, can you be nicer about the fact you're thick, please?

Speaker C: I don't know about the f****** alien and I don't care.

Speaker C: It's fiction.

Ron: So in Alien, it's a silicon based life form.

Ron: Do you know why that could happen?

Speaker C: Too many t*** in the water supply.

Ron: Laura, you have to stop getting upset about jokes.

Speaker C: You have to stop making jokes that upset me.

Ron: Deal, but can you pep up and I'll stop doing that?

Speaker C: I'm super peppy, but can you stop asking me questions that obviously I'm not going to know the answer to?

Ron: Yeah, but when I ask a question you don't know the answer to, I'm probably going to lead into something with it.

Speaker C: Well, then just lead in instead of leaving a thick gap for me.

Ron: That's the f****** concept of this podcast.

Speaker C: No, but talk to me about it.

Speaker C: Leave me there.

Speaker C: Don't just say, what's silicon making an alien for?

Speaker C: And then just stare at me.

Speaker C: I didn't invent it.

Speaker C: I don't know what silicon is.

Ron: Laura.

Ron: Laura.

Ron: That's the whole podcast.

Ron: Laura, that's the whole podcast.

Ron: You have to be thick.

Speaker C: That's the whole I am thick.

Speaker C: I don't need you to leave gaps for it.

Ron: I have to leave gaps.

Ron: That's the whole podcast.

Speaker C: Yeah, but you can't just ask big stuff and then I don't know, Ron.

Ron: But again, Laura, I'm going to lead into something.

Speaker C: Then just lead away, mate.

Ron: Yeah, but you have to let me.

Speaker C: I am.

Speaker C: Have you got your ask me questions.

Ron: About have you got your periodic table to hand?

Speaker C: Yes.

Ron: Look at it.

Ron: Find silicon.

Ron: Here I go.

Ron: Just leading you.

Ron: Not in a fun way.

Ron: Come on, dumb bins, come down the road.

Ron: Find silicon.

Speaker C: Hmm.

Speaker C: Here I go again.

Speaker C: Silicone.

Speaker C: Oh, I found it.

Ron: Where is it?

Speaker C: In group 14.

Ron: No, it's not.

Speaker C: Yes, it is.

Speaker C: What would I wrong?

Speaker C: I don't care what you would call it.

Speaker C: The periodic table calls it Group 14 and it's in.

Ron: No but.

Ron: No but, Laura.

Ron: Laura, can you stop ruining quite a nice episode, please?

Speaker C: Can you stop ruining it?

Speaker C: It's an other non metal Laura.

Ron: Solid Laura.

Ron: Do you remember that we've had these conversations before when I call it group seven and you call it group 17?

Speaker C: Okay, group 14.

Speaker C: Group 14.

Ron: No, I group four.

Ron: Thank you.

Speaker C: You maddening f***.

Ron: You actually sad because Tom Parry said he liked me.

Speaker C: Tom Parry said he liked you?

Speaker C: My Tom's.

Speaker C: Texting you.

Speaker C: Robin's texting you.

Speaker C: I haven't had dinner.

Speaker C: I had poo.

Ron: Right, there we go.

Ron: There we go.

Ron: F****** dumb bins hasn't had dinner and this is why this episode is falling apart.

Ron: Sorry, some of go down Laureate.

Ron: Go downstairs.

Ron: Take out your headphones.

Ron: Go downstairs.

Speaker C: Any boosts in the house?

Ron: Why not?

Ron: This is the problem.

Speaker C: Yeah, well, Tom didn't buy any.

Speaker C: He ate all four of the last pack and didn't buy any more.

Speaker C: But it's okay because I'm eating his ice cream.

Ron: Go downstairs and eat his ice cream.

Speaker C: No, I just want to get this over and done with so I can have proper dinner.

Ron: Gosh.

Speaker C: God.

Speaker C: You're not coming off well, neither are you, mate.

Speaker C: Group four, row three.

Ron: Tom Parry likes me.

Speaker C: Just because you were like you good.

Speaker C: It's for Falcon Square, dressed in a bread costume.

Ron: Yeah, they made a funny joke.

Speaker C: Just be whimsical.

Speaker C: I made loads of funny jokes.

Speaker C: F****** misogyny at its best.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: What element is silicon next to?

Ron: Laura?

Speaker C: Phosphorus.

Ron: What element that's relevant to the conversation that we're having?

Ron: Is silicon next to aluminium?

Ron: That's relevant to the conversation that we're having.

Speaker C: Why wouldn't those be relevant, then?

Ron: Have we mentioned either of them once?

Speaker C: You didn't say an element that we have mentioned.

Speaker C: Those are the elements look again.

Ron: Look again.

Speaker C: Those are the elements to look again.

Speaker C: Sweet Jesus.

Speaker C: Why don't you just tell me which element you want?

Ron: Because there's four options.

Ron: Because they're squares.

Ron: So look again.

Speaker C: You said next to yes, that is aluminium and phosphorus.

Ron: And.

Speaker C: How can more of them be next to because it's a square.

Ron: It's got four sides.

Speaker C: What do you mean?

Speaker C: Above or below?

Ron: Next to.

Speaker C: Yes.

Speaker C: Oh, but that's not next to.

Speaker C: That's above and below.

Ron: It's still next to.

Speaker C: That's not next to.

Speaker C: On your head.

Speaker C: They're not next to you, they're sitting on your head.

Speaker C: Right.

Speaker C: Carbon.

Speaker C: There you go.

Speaker C: There's carbon above it.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: That f****** element that we've been talking about for age.

Speaker C: Above it.

Speaker C: Then don't say next to.

Speaker C: DuckDuck goose.

Speaker C: It's aluminium and phosphorus, isn't it?

Speaker C: Next to implies next to, not above.

Ron: So carbon and silicon are next to each other.

Speaker C: Wow.

Ron: They're in the same group.

Ron: So what can we work out about what can we work out about silicon?

Ron: By the fact that they're in the same group.

Ron: They're both in group four.

Ron: Four.

Laura: It is.

Speaker C: They both have they both have four in their outer ring?

Ron: Yes.

Ron: God, this was such a long tangent for just a short aside, because this isn't really relevant, but yeah, the alien in alien is supposedly a silicon based life form, because silicon does also form four bonds.

Ron: So it's the only thing that you could also probably have organic chemistry based off of.

Speaker C: Why couldn't you have geranium and tin and lead?

Ron: What are geranium, tin and lead in terms of their category of element?

Speaker C: Poor metals.

Ron: What type of bonds do metals form?

Speaker C: Metallic bonds.

Speaker C: Not covalent.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So they wouldn't form molecules with anything.

Ron: So, yeah, you can have yeah.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron: So are you understanding the gravity of organic chemistry, Laura?

Ron: And are you excited to learn some more about it, how it works and all the different places and spaces that it's used?

Speaker C: Yes.

Ron: Ron Hooray then we move on to 5.7.1.

Speaker C: Whoa.

Speaker C: Your room just went all dark.

Ron: It's been getting steadily darker, but you've been raging, not looking.

Ron: 5.7.1.

Ron: Point.

Ron: Sorry, let me back up.

Ron: 5.7.1.

Ron: Carbon compounds as fuels and feedstock.

Ron: Now let me continue.

Ron: 5.7.1.

Speaker C: You look like you're telling a ghost story.

Ron: 5.7.1.

Ron: .1 crude oil, comma, hydrocarbons and alkanes crude oil.

Ron: Laura, what can you tell me about it?

Speaker C: It's unrefined oil.

Ron: Yep.

Ron: Absolutely.

Ron: Where does it come from?

Ron: What's it made of?

Speaker C: The ground.

Speaker C: Dinosaurs.

Ron: Not dinosaurs.

Ron: Actually, that's a common misconception.

Ron: Unfunny internet meme that it's like exploding dinosaurs.

Ron: It's not animal.

Speaker C: Is it necessary to say unfunny?

Ron: I wasn't referencing you.

Ron: I was referencing memes.

Ron: You're really funny.

Ron: You're paid to be funny.

Speaker C: Thank you.

Ron: Tom Parry doesn't think you're funny.

Ron: Ben Clark thinks you're funny, though.