Chickens Are Called Ducks In This World

 Chickens are called Ducks in this World

Lex Education is a comedy science podcast where we do GCSE science

Ron: Hello and welcome to Lex Education, the comedy science podcast, where me, normal brother Ron, and me, comedy comedy comedian Laura do GCSE science for a small audience. Um, and we have a great time while we do it. Of course, Laura's not really here. It's just me, normal Ron, um, on my own, Laura is somewhere doing something, um, but I'm not. I think she mentioned a forest. Um, she doesn't have Internet. She thought she might. She's bailed on two recording sessions this week. Um, that's fine. Fine. I'm not holding it against her. Um, but here I am doing intros and outros on my own with all of the appropriate knowledge that I would need to do such a thing. So, yes, Laura is somewhere. The tea towel that's on its way, presumably in some state of readiness between not ready and, uh, not started, but it's somewhere. Um, and, uh, join the Patreon, everybody. Uh, do join the Patreon. Um, we've got loads of. Loads of content on there now, class. Um, clown geography lessons, books, rusty sugar, lots of different things. We've got chernobyl mutant m wolves episode coming out very, very soon. We have recorded that one. Um, do sign up is fucking cheap as chips. We keep it as cheap as we can to give access to as many people as possible possible. The idea behind that is that if we kept it cheaper, more people would sign up. So you guys have to just sign up. So that that is. So that logic works because otherwise we're gonna have to start price hiking probably. I don't know. I'm not in charge of these things. Um, but anyway, today's episode, it's a good deal of fun. Good deal of fun. Haven't decided what to call it yet. Uh, but it was a good deal of fun, today's episode. A very classic feeling episode. Um, a lot of just saying stuff. A lot of very, uh, scared Laura just guessing. Shit. She's stupid. Not a lot of the time, to be honest. But, um. Um. Yeah, I guess, um. Um.

I'm tired. It's been a long week, actually

What's going on with me? I'm tired. It's been a long day. Um. Um, long week, actually. Um. Um. Flora was here. I'd have told an anecdote of how I got stranded at sea and rescued by the. The RNLI, but I'm not just gonna tell that story on my own. Um. Um. Yeah, it's late May, but the weather's not particularly summery. Got a couple of weddings coming up in June. I'm going to. That'll be fun. But anyway, let's get on with the episode. That's enough about me. Um, um. I'll see you after the episode when we're all on the same page and we can have a lovely chat about how we feel about that.

Laura: Is this a new recording? I think it is. Uh uh. I think I'm about to get very hungry, Ron.

Ron: Yeah, it's about to be mid lunchtime, I would say.

Laura: Yeah. Oh, uh, my poor little Mackie had to go in and get spayed yesterday.

Ron: I've already been very rude about this, so today I'll be nice. Oh, how did that go?

Laura: Like, fine, but she's just so drowsy and dopey, and she's back in a little rainbow onesie, and she just looks pathetic and confused.

Ron: What? Sorry. What's different apart from the rainbow onesie?

Laura: I thought you said you were gonna be nice. Hang on. Husband of the podcast is waving and asking if I want to go to bed with him. I think he's holding both his hands to one side of his. He's walking away. What's the matter? Jesus.

Ron: Okay, why is he whispering?

Laura: I don't really know. Oh, because the child of the podcast has gone to sleep, that's why.

Ron: What was he communicating to you?

Laura: That she's asleep and I should stop screaming. Um, yeah, that's really annoying being a podcast, says Anna mother when I'm like, sorry, kid. I was doing the podcast first.

Ron: Yeah, there's not a hundred episodes of her.

Laura: Uh, no. When we have 500 patrons, I'll soundproof the attic.

Ron: Okay. Um, yeah. So how is the. The little dog?

Laura: I think she's okay. She only literally had it done, like, 24 hours ago, so she's still pretty drowsy.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Poor little bean. It's quite invasive. I think they literally do, like, a hysterectomy on them.

Ron: Grim. Yeah, she didn't really have any weight to lose.

Laura: She's so tiny. She's just the smallest little dog. I m still can't find my notepad either. On. I'm starting to think I must have left it somewhere outside the house, which is just, like, somebody's going to find that and be very concerned about a child's GCSE results.

Laura: We're featured in a list of top GCSE science podcasts

Ron: Yeah, we got an email the other day about being, like, in a list of top GCSE science podcasts, which was exciting.

Laura: Yeah, I'm sure we've had that email before, though.

Ron: Yeah, I think it's certainly advertising, isn't it?

Laura: Well, that's the thing, because they sort of emailed and said you're featured in the top five GCSE podcast. Can you share it? And I thought, well, are we advertising you or is this promotion for us?

Ron: Yeah, and actually, if you go on. Okay. So, I mean, yeah, we're absolutely spanking the competition, to be fair. Hey, science fans, they've only got 78 Twitter followers. The average length is eleven minutes.

Laura: There are no science fans in the world.

Ron: Yes, the science break for GCSE. Science bite size revision for G. We're number one. We are number one.

Laura: Yeah, we're very popular.

Ron: Yeah, that's cool, isn't it?

Laura: Now, if we took all the comedy out and just focused on science, I think we'd be in the top ten. Just Apple podcasts, you know?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: People like a real serious, dreary podcast.

Ron: I need to mute my phone because someone is putting a lot of stuff on split wires from the weekend. There we go. Alrighty. Ru. Laura. Laura, how's it going?

Laura: For me? It's going all right, Ron. I've ticked some stuff off my list today. I even had time for a surprise half hour phone call from a person I wasn't expecting. Dealt with that. Oh, uh, just some admin that needed doing. Like, I sent an email, they came back with a phone call. It's not the dream, but I just was like, do you know what? Now is a convenient time.

Ron: Let's crack on finally getting that skin thing cut off.

Laura: No. If anything, I'm having implants put into it. Go big or go home. I need a USP in comedy. That's the thing.

Ron: We're on.

Laura: I think I'm just too mainstream. My thing is gonna be this weird thing hanging off my body.

Ron: Yeah, the skin flap. Yeah, Luigi, Luigi, the skin flap.

Tom and I have started a new Minecraft world, Ron

Laura: If you want to chill that evening, uh, Tom and I have started a new Minecraft world. We started it last night. We started in a sunflower field, Ron. And, uh, basically, we are religious fundamentalists because where we spawned, there was a perfect cross, right, by where we spawned in mud. Right? So we were like, okay, we're religious pioneers. We've come here. We worship horses or horseus. Who is our God? Um, I am called, uh, good wife Piebaldi. And Tom is called stallionis. And, um, we kill all sheep. We see sheep are demons. We also kill llamas because they're not horses. And, um, we're breeding horses.

Ron: I like it. I like it a lot.

Laura: It's really fun.

Ron: Yeah. Uh, how many horses have you got?

Laura: Only three at the moment, but we've only played one evening, so, you know, basic setup. I've got a horse paddock. I've got a small farm. I've got, ah, a farm for other animals. Um, or chickens are called ducks in this world. And, um, we don't breed cheap because we just murder them whenever we see them.

Ron: That's fair. I think they're, um, putting new animals into minecraft. Yes, we found. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, we found one.

Ron: That's cool. Did you.

Laura: I don't know what you can do with it. Um, I think Tom kicked it and it curled up into a ball.

Ron: That's good fun, isn't it?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Armadillos, um, minecraft, they're cuties. I love armadillos. I wonder if you can get leprosy from them.

Laura: We've also got it on that setting where when you die, you just keep all your stuff and. Oh, my God. It's better.

Ron: Yeah. That's stress free, isn't it?

Laura: It's just lovely. Just means you don't want to die because it's annoying, but it's not like, oh, uh, fuck, I can't be asked to play.

Ron: You can feed armadillo spider eyes, which makes a baby armadillo.

Laura: What can you get out of armadillos?

Ron: When you brush it? You get an armadillo scoot.

Laura: It's a scoot.

Ron: Uh, scoots are items that baby turtles drop when they grow into adults. They can be used to craft turtle shells to brew the potion of the turtle master. Um, so you can. You can use it to make turtle shells.

Laura: Perfectly logical.

Ron: Yeah. With six armadillo scoot, you can craft every piece of wolf armour for a wolf.

Laura: What?

Ron: You can armour up your dogs.

Laura: That is awesome. We need to guard the horse. Paddock for horse.

Ron: Yes. Sound all right? Well, that's the Minecraft update.

Laura: Well, I know what my night is going to be.

Ron: Brushing armadillos, um, for scutes. Um. Right.

Laura, do you know what we're doing today in biology

Laura, do you know what we're doing today?

Laura: Nope.

Ron: No. How would you. It's biology today, Laura.

Laura: Oh, I knew it was biology. I just didn't know what we'd be doing in biology.

Ron: Oh, do you remember what we were doing last time? Um.

Laura: Um. Diseases?

Ron: No, no, obviously not diseases. Um, right, so, um. Um. No, not that.

Laura: Animal breeding.

Ron: It was animal breeding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laura: Something to do with bodies.

Ron: Yeah. No, it wasn't diseases, though. Didn't. Don't know if we've actually ever really covered diseases.

Laura: Yeah, we've done various diseases throughout time.

Ron: Have we?

Laura: Yeah.

Do you ever play odds on game? No. I play the odd sun game

Ron: All right, well, no. So we're on, as you should have been following. And numbers fans will know we're in. Four. 6.2.4. Laura. Uh, which is June Jean, why aren't you speaking? We're going to say this at the same time. One, two, three. Genetic engineering. Yes. Well done. Do you ever play the odds on game?

Laura: No.

Ron: It's a game that we were doing a lot at the stag team.

Laura: I play the odd sun game and I just look at you.

Ron: Uh, I hated that mouth thing you did. That was awful. No, it's where you say, like, odds on you doing this or odds on you going over there or something, and then they're like, hmm, I'd say one in 100. And then you both have to shout a number between one and the number that they say. And if you say the same number, they have to do it. Oh, it's fun.

Laura: Does sound good. I mean, you were literally saying in the intro we just recorded, you don't have any time. I'd say, cut that out of your life if you want to make more time, and then I think you'll have more time.

Ron: Why, that's good fun.

Laura: You'll miss that.

Ron: Why wouldn't I miss that?

Laura: It sounds, um, not productive.

Ron: I don't have to be productive all the time. I wouldn't be doing this.

Laura: Touche, sir.

Laura asks what do you think genetic engineering is

Ron: Uh, so, Laura, what do you think genetic engineering is?

Laura: Um, like when you make a car out of plants?

Ron: Uh, no, sorry, that wasn't. Doesn't really scan well enough as a joke for you to get away with that.

Laura: Okay. Um, genetic engineering is when you take a double helix and you hang it off the lobe of the carburetor and say, ooh, how do you like my earring? It's made of genetics.

Ron: Yes. All right. That's much better.

Laura: Thank you.

Ron: Yeah. Okay. Serious answer now.

Laura: Um, it's when you tweak genes to change the outcome of a person.

Ron: Uh, define tweak. Hmm.

Laura: Cut out some genes and leave others in.

Ron: That's more like it. Um, but it's actually more about sort of inserting genes into other things.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: Um, more than it is about, um, taking genes out of a thing, um, to be honest, because genetics is so bloody complicated that if you just start sort of removing stuff, you don't really know what sort of the effects of that are gonna be like. You know, we might have, um. Ah, you can sort of work out that, oh, this gene gives someone blue eyes or whatever, but you don't know what else that protein is doing. It might be like a building block to something else. The inverse of it on the other side of the double helix might be coding for something, so there's always, like, different effects and stuff to doing, um. Uh, to messing around with the team. So it's easier to just insert something, um, into, um, something else. Um, there's higher tier stuff in the syllabus on how this is done. How higher tier are you feeling today, Laura?

Laura: I'm always higher tier. I'm on the top of the leaning tower of Pisa, mate.

Ron: Uh, yeah, I mean, in a sort of wonky, decrepit old way. Yes. Um, okay, we can do that. You don't seem very in further our classic banter city.

Laura: I don't feel like I can be mean to you when you already look like you're about to flop into a cold bath and reenact hamlet.

Ron: Uh, no, you can. That's fine. I just might not take it well.

Laura: Oh, shocker.

Laura: What would be the smallest biological thing we could edit

Ron: Um, so, Laura, to edit something tiny. Tiny on a biological scale. How do you think. Well, what tools and stuff do you think we have to use for that?

Laura: Um, lasers?

Ron: Uh, no. Think about all of the words that I used in, uh, the session.

Laura: Microlasia.

Ron: No, all of the words. I can't remember all of the words I said tiny. Tiny on a biological scale. Yeah.

Laura: Seeds. Uh, this is.

Ron: This is a classic. This is a classic. I think it would be nice, I'd like one day for someone to sort of maybe make like a, um. Sort of a Lex education almanack, and we can start classifying all the different things that happen, because that was a classic. Just say something where, um, you've kind of pulled the right thread, but then just really, you've put the cart before the horse because you've narrowed it on what I was getting at, the biological part of it. So, uh, rather than just sort of looking inward and sort of seeing that you don't have the intellect or the tools to sort of work out what it might be and say, why would.

Laura: You ask the question if it wasn't possible?

Ron: No. Uh, well, no, because what you could have said is something along the lines of, oh, so do we use something from nature to edit the genes? Or something like that? But no, you've gone, well, he wants me to say something biological and something small. What's the smallest biological thing? Me, a person that doesn't believe in something if I can't see it, can think of seeds. And I imagine, I'd wager, uh, not to put words in your mouth, that you were thinking of poppy seeds, the smallest of the seeds.

Laura: No, I wasn't. I was thinking about sweet pea seeds because I was planting them m recently.

Ron: Right. But no, not seeds, but you're on the right track. We do use to edit things in biology. We often use biology to do that as well. If you hazard a guess as to what we use to do that, thinking about it a bit more, what's kind of the, what's like, what are the effectors in your cell? What are the, what are the things that do shit, you, uh, know, activity?

Laura: Would it be something like a part of the cell we're looking for here on.

Ron: Yep. On what scale do you think we're looking very small. Yeah. Name? You know, name. Name some, you know. Do you think we think we're harnessing organelles to do this?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Well, we're not, actually.

Laura: No.

Ron: Why wouldn't we. Why wouldn't we use an organelle to do this?

Laura: Too big.

Ron: Too big? Yeah. Because if you think about it, the nucleus is an organelle, and all of your DNA fits inside the nucleus. So trying to use something that big to edit a, uh, bit of DNA, that's gonna be bloody massive, isn't it?

Laura: Yeah, too big.

Ron: So what is DNA?

Laura: It's a code for protein.

Ron: That is true. That is true. What is it? Just kind of fundamentally.

Laura: Acids.

Ron: It is technically an acid, yes. What does it stand for? Just while you're getting points?

Laura: Deoxyribonucleic acid.

Ron: Yeah. Well done, well done, well done. Um, but, no, there's not worth getting at either.

Laura: Um, there's just too many things to get. I've said so many things and we're not there. Uh, you've just sent me the word molecule. Do you want me to. Molecules, yeah.

Ron: So DNA is a molecule, isn't it? So it's probably on a sort of a molecular scale that we'd be looking for a tool to edit the DNA. Right.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Out, uh, of all of the molecules that you can name that exist inside a cell, which one is the one that does stuff?

Laura: ATP?

Ron: No, that's the energy currency of the cell, isn't it? So we could throw energy at the problem, but the energy is not going to do anything, is it?

Laura: Protein.

Ron: It is a protein, yeah.

Laura: Proteins come.

Ron: Oh, m. No, here's a protein. Proteins come in two types. You've got fibrous proteins. They're usually used in structural things like muscles, or you've got globular proteins, they're dissolvable and they have different things. What are the types of, what's the type of protein that gets shit done? They have a purpose. They speed up reactions, catalysts, yeah. What's a biological catalyst? You're like that fucking frog. You know that puzzle where it's like a frog is on a log a metre away from where it needs to be? It jumps half the distance, and then again it jumps half the distance, and with each jump, it jumps halfway each time.

Talk me through lock and key, Laura. Describe it back to me

How long does it take it to get there?

Laura: It'll never get there.

Ron: It will never get there. Yeah. You're that fucking frog. You came closer and closer, but you never there a good display of different learning styles there because you got that the frog would never get there instantly. But you can't get this. What's a biological catalyst called.

Laura: Um, mitochondria? M.

Ron: What's mitochondria? Uh, mitochondria is an organelle.

Laura: Cel, plasma, cell, juice, cellulose.

Ron: That. You're just saying things.

Laura: Yeah. Better than the silence.

Ron: What's the 14th letter of the Alphabet? Yeah. Um.

Laura: No zone.

Ron: No, I wish I could do one of those. And, um, then if you were sort of greeting someone really quickly, but you weren't very good at pronouncing h's and you swapped them out for zs, what might you say to them?

Laura: Zello.

Ron: No, uh, really quickly, Ziya. Quicker than that.

Laura: Zay zi.

Ron: There we go. That one. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And then imagine you've just eaten some nice cream of tomato soup. What might you say?

Laura: Yuck. Soup is not food.

Ron: No. If you've eaten some nice cream of tomato soup.

Laura: I said yummy. And enzyme. You remember what enzymes are now 22 minutes.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Tell me about it.

Laura: Like, have those little mouths on them and they can munch stuff up.

Ron: What's. How does the mouth work?

Laura: Spits acid.

Ron: Are you being thick on purpose?

Laura: Is that not it?

Ron: No, it's not.

Laura: Little teeth.

Ron: No, this is. You're saying stuff from the trick. Oh, lesson.

Laura: I fucking hate you for the trick. Oh, because I have remembered it.

Ron: No. Um, enzymes have what's called an active site. The active site is where the lock and key method happens. It perfectly fits the target, the enzyme, and it locks on. And then it will do whatever it does. It does its catalytic thing in the active site. Remember that? Lock and key? The lock.

Laura: Lock and key, yeah.

Ron: Lock fits. The key has to be the right shape. You get that? You know what a lock and a key is?

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

Ron: You get that?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Describe it back to me. Let's just do a knowledge cheque. How does lock and key method work with an active site?

Laura: I don't know, Ron.

Ron: I just said it to you.

Laura: You've made me feel despondent.

Ron: Well, motivate yourself. Take some sort.

Laura: It's really soft on my cheeks.

Ron: You tell me off for doing that all the time.

Laura: Nuzzling.

Ron: Yeah, I like nuzzling. The pop shield.

Laura: Oh, my eyes look really weird.

Ron: Yeah, you look dead.

Laura: I don't look good today. Um, tired.

Ron: Talk me through lock and key, Laura.

Laura: You have to be the right key to the lock.

Ron: Yep.

An enzyme is a biological catalyst for a specific reaction

And what is that when you take it out of the metaphor?

Laura: I don't really know, Ron, what do enzymes do? Break stuff down some of them.

Ron: What are enzymes? What's that catchphrase that I've said for enzymes a few times already this episode?

Laura: Lock and key?

Ron: No, uh, biological catalysts. What's a catalyst?

Laura: Catalyst. Catalyst is like rubble to give a surface area for stuff to happen on.

Ron: What does a catalyst do?

Laura: Speeds up a reaction.

Ron: Yes, okay, grand. It speeds up a reaction. So what does an enzyme do?

Laura: Speeds up a reaction.

Ron: Exactly. So those reactions can be breaking things down, uh, which is anabolic or catabolic. One of them. Um, or it can be building stuff up, or it can be moving stuff. Enzymes.

Laura: Catapult just to let me down. Anabolic.

Ron: So knowing. Shut up. So knowing that enzymes have a specific reaction that they speed up or slow down, what do you think the active site being.

Laura: And then you got slow me down.

Ron: What do you think the active site being? A, um, uh, being specific to a reaction. Active site is like the lock. What do you think the key to that lock would be?

Laura: The enzyme.

Ron: Well, no, because the active site's on the enzyme, isn't it? So.

Laura: God, you're so mean.

Ron: Yeah. So thick. It's really hard talking to someone this tense in such a structured format with so much fucking content to get to. And you know why I feel fine going in like this, Laura? Because I asked if you were feeling higher tier, and you said that you felt like you were on top of the leading tower of Pisa, uh, for some reason. So you asked for this. And now if you're being higher tier, the be higher tier. Don't tell me that the key to the lock is the rest of the lock, because that's fucking fully mental.

Laura: I don't think I know the answers you want.

Ron: Rather, an enzyme is a biological catalyst for a specific reaction. Where does that reaction happen?

Laura: On the site.

Ron: In the active site? Yes. So if we go back to the metaphor, the active site is the lock. A specific reaction happens there. What do you think the key is?

Laura: The genes.

Ron: Why are you saying the genes? No, we're just talking about a specific reaction. You want a specific reaction to happen somewhere. What needs to be there?

Laura: The reactant.

Ron: The reactant. So what do you think the key to that lock is?

Laura: The reactant.

Ron: Yes. Thank you. Fucking hell.

Gene editing uses enzymes to make specific edits in a genetic code

Um, so if we go back to, um, our, uh, editing of genes, what about the active site? And the lock and key method? Makes enzymes a good thing for making specific edits in a genetic code. Do you think?

Laura: Oh, because you can make the lock the shape of the bit of gene that you want to play with, and then it won't affect anything except the bit you're interested in.

Ron: Hundred percent, Laura. Well done. That was right. You got that in one. The other one, you got in like 68.

Laura: Um, poor teaching on your behalf.

Ron: Uh-huh? No, no, I don't think so this time. Sometimes, sometimes. Poor teaching this time. No, no. Remember that. Remember, Laura, I had to bring you from seeds to this. Um. Can you think about anything we've talked about? Um, so that's how we edit the gene that we want out of something else we use an enzyme, isolates the gene. Can you think of any times that we've, um, talked about something where, ah, an existing system in biology has inserted its genes into something else? Can you remember what a retrovirus is? Hiv h five av is a retrovirus. Very good. Do you remember why they're called retroviruses? Or sort of like what?

Laura: They go into your DNA and then they like make it so that they're printing that your DNA is like printing the virus?

Ron: Exactly, yeah. So they insert their DNA into another genetic code. So as part of genetic engineering, we harness some of the systems that they've already made to. So we've isolated the gene that we want, using the enzyme that we talked about. Then what we can do is we either use a virus, like I've just said there, the other thing that you can do is use, um, a bacterial plasmid, which we have talked about before. Do you remember what I did my, um, dissertation on when I was at university? It's like a little circle of DNA that lives inside bacteria. It's almost like a secondary genome to them. So you can either use a virus, or we can use one of those. Those. That's how we, um, that's how we insert it into the genome that we want in the required cells that we want it in. That's called a vector.

Laura: Vector.

Ron: What you do is, um, to genetically modify something. What you will do is you take it usually at sort of like an embryonic state, because you need to get it into all of the cells. So like trying to do that, um, in like a big human or giraffe or a tree would be really, really hard. So you take it an early stage of its development and then you use the vector to input the isolated gene that you got with the enzyme into the cells and then you've genetically modified something.

Laura: Yeah, higher, uh, tier, uh, you've got a different kind of vector to a vector and scalar. Vector.

Ron: Yeah, but I mean, I think it's called that for, for the same reason though, right? It takes something in a direction, it takes it there, it's the vector that.

Laura: We got it in with magnitude.

Ron: Sure. Right. Um, how long have we been recording?

Laura: 31 minutes parfait.

Ron: Okay, let's do the other bit then. Um, okay, cool.

Students should be able to explain potential benefits and risks of genetic engineering

So now we understand how genetic engineering happens, Laura. It says here students should be able to explain the potential benefits and risks of genetic engineering in agriculture and in medicine, and that some people have objections. Can you think of any examples of why we might want to genetically engineer something?

Laura: Um, disease resistance. Yeah, like if it's crops and stuff. Also like resistance to drought and flooding and stuff. Bigger yield, get more food.

Ron: Absolutely.

Laura: Easier to, um, pollinate maybe. Self pollinating perhaps?

Ron: Maybe. Yeah, yeah, really, really good. Um, there are some specific examples that are good to know about. Have you ever heard of golden rice?

Laura: No.

Ron: Um, do you know what the leading cause of childhood blindness is, Laura?

Laura: Rice in your eyes.

Ron: Yes, but if it's gold rice, at least you have some money afterwards. No, no, that's not.

Laura: Four children from my primary school were blinded by rice in the eyes.

Ron: Yeah, that's why I'm not allowing kids at my wedding when I get married.

Laura: No, that's why child of the podcast is on a pastor only diet.

Ron: Yeah, she's never, she gets an iPhone wet.

Laura: Guess what? It's staying wet. Bitch.

Ron: She's never been to Wagamama and she never will.

Laura: M not happy. Oka for you.

Ron: No. So, um, close though is actually vitamin a deficiency.

Laura: Oh, so actually rice in the eyes would cure it?

Ron: Well, golden rice in the ice would, because in the nineties, golden rice, um, don't let me hear you say rice taking you nowhere. Golden, that's good stuff. No, um, uh, in the nineties, um, a german scientist basically invented golden rice, which is rice that has loads of vitamin a in it and could, uh, um, basically solve vitamin e. Vitamin e.

Laura: See what's in this rice? Vitamin a? C. No, not c, that's in the oranges.

Ron: Nice. That's orange rice. Um, aren't you glad you're not blind anymore, kid.

Laura: It hurts when I blink. Doctor.

Ron: Why do you want to go and put rice in their eyes? Anyway, enough of that. Yeah. So they made golden rice in the nineties to solve this problem.

Laura: Imagine if you had rice for eyelashes. Um, you could make your eyes clap. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

Ron: Be like one of those australian hats.

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

We produce all of our insulin these days by genetically engineered bacteria

Ron: Um, and then the other one that's good to know about, Laura, is insulin. We produce all of our insulin these days by genetically engineered bacteria. So what's insulin? Uh, what does insulin do, Laura?

Laura: Hang on. Um, it tells the body to produce or release more sugar from storage.

Ron: Blood sugar regulation. Exactly. And what type of person has, uh, issues with their insulin?

Laura: A diabetic.

Ron: Absolutely. Now, people, um, who are type one diabetic. Ah, diabetic. Have to inject insulin.

Laura: Why do scientists and cowboys never meet?

Ron: Because they die. Uh, but die, I bet.

Laura: No, because one deals with the wild frontier and the other deals with the back terrier frontier. Back to. There's something in there. Uh, you know, I want it to be something. The wild frontier. The wild bacteria.

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: Mhm.

Ron: Does anyone call it the wild frontier?

Laura: Yeah. King of the wild frontier.

Ron: Um, frontier makes me think more. Star Trek.

Laura: The final psychiatrist. Yeah, well, Star Trek's just a space cowboys, aren't they? No, the final frontier.

Ron: You ever seen Star Trek?

Laura: No.

Ron: No, that's apparent. I don't.

Laura: Space?

Ron: Um, no. Um, so type one diabetics have to inject insulin into themselves every day. They explode or something, right?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Before the process. Then I'll tell you anything. Do you know how we got the insulin for that?

Laura: Took it out of mice.

Ron: No. We mashed up a bunch of pig pancreases in a bucket and injected the juices into them. But we don't have to do. Don't worry about that. We don't have to do that anymore because what we've done is we've taken the gene that makes insulin and we've put it into bacteria, and then we just grow that bacteria and harvest the insulin from them.

Laura: Nice. Thank you. Bacteria. Pigs salute you.

Ron: Now, that's great stuff. However, we don't really use. We knew we used a bacteria thing all the time. Like I say, that's how all of our, um, that's how all of our insulins made these days. But we don't really use, uh, GM crops all that much. What do you think?

Laura: I think that's because the Daily Mail kicked off about it. That was a big thing in my childhood. GM crops.

There are some legitimate concerns about GM crops, Laura says

Ron: Yeah, that's what I'm going to ask you about, what are people, what's people's beef with it?

Laura: Oh, I don't want no Frankenstein food inside me. Thanks, mate.

Ron: What are they worried about? There?

Laura: Uh, no change. Foreigners.

Ron: Yeah, that's the thing. It's actually, I'm a big supporter of GM crops. There are some legitimate concerns. Can you think of any? That is. But not on the, like. It's not really on the human side of things because we can test food, right? We can make food and we can test it. So that's kind of fine. People are people. If you want to sort of pander to these people, you can sort of say, well, yeah, maybe you are a bit concerned that we haven't tested it enough. And it's like, well, yeah, we haven't fucking tested enough because, you know. But, um. What are some legitimate concerns that you might think of?

Laura: Well, you never quite know what it's gonna do, do you? So could cause issues.

Ron: Issues with what?

Laura: Mmm, m digestion.

Ron: Um, take it away from humans.

Laura: Oh. The crops might all die and fail.

Ron: Um, it's not really, it's not on the list, but I guess. And, um. But you know, like we know that it grows, we know it's genetically modified. It's good stuff. Where do the crops grow?

Laura: In the ground.

Ron: Outside. Yeah. What else is outside?

Laura: Nature.

Ron: Exactly.

Laura: So could hurt nature.

Ron: Could hurt nature. Basically. That's it. Um, we don't know the effect that some of these crops might have on pollinators and things like that. Um, and then the other thing is that we also, um, you could end up sort of cross breeding them with other grasses and stuff that are out there.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So if you, you know, you plant a bunch of fields and then they release their pollen or whatever that blows around in the wind, it could crossbreed with stuff and we don't know the effects that that would have.

Laura: Best to just keep using normal ones, smothered in pesticides.

Ron: Yeah. Let all of these kids go blind.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Dry rice, mate.

Ron: Nice.

Laura: Thanks.

Ron: And that's the lesson.

Laura: Your screen froze and it was a pretty perfect joke from me, so why not?

Ron: I'm not frozen, I'm pretending.

Laura: Oh, uh, three. That's not right. Laura.

Ron: I still haven't found the bloody notebook, Ron

Quiz for 103. Quiz. I still haven't found the bloody notebook, Ron.

Ron: It's gone.

Laura: It's somewhere up here probably. But can I find it? Can I heck. Oh. Do you want another lost stuff story, Ron?

Ron: Um, sure.

Laura: Did a whole puzzle, right. A really difficult puzzle too. Look, I'll show you a picture of how difficult. This puzzle was lots of the same colour. No real distinctive shapes. Really tough to pick out what the puzzle was like. Right. Look at this bad boy. That is a tough puzzle.

Ron: It's cool.

Laura: Got right to the end of it. Where's that piece? Just had a bloody piece missing, doesn't it?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Uh, cool puzzle, though. I did it for my friend. It's her. Huh. Puzzle.

Ron: And are we recording?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So just for the listener, it looks kind of like almost like the Rolling Stones lips, but sans tongue. Um, and then very sort of, um, sixties, kind of, um, you know, that sort of like 60 sort of psychedelic, but almost kind of art deco style. Like smoke exhalation coming out of the lips. It's cool. It's really cool. And it's shiny.

Laura: Yeah. But there's a piece missing. Livid. It was a tough puzzle, man. Real tough puzzle.

Ron: Tough puzzler.

Laura: I love a puzzle. I really love jigsaw puzzles.

Ron: Yeah. I've been rewatching Brooklyn nine nine recently, so that just makes me think of Amy Santiago.

Laura: Where on earth, uh, is Amy Santiago? You're too young for that.

Ron: Yeah. What's that?

Laura: Where on earth is Carmen San Diego?

Ron: Who's Carmen San Diego?

Laura: I don't really know. It was a cartoon that was on when I was a child, but I don't really remember the details except for that, um, bit. I think she might have been a spy.

Ron: That's how I feel about ir. Baboon.

Laura: I are baboon. I am, um. Weasel.

Ron: Yeah. That's all I know about that. And I can picture them vividly, but, yeah. Was weasel a good guy?

Laura: Who knows? Ron? Cartoons were messed up when we were younger. Now cartoons are all learning to be kind and stuff, but when we were younger, I'm sure they were just people running around farting.

Ron: Yeah. Oh, uh, yeah. Oh, God, look at these guys. Cow and chicken.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Do you remember cat dog and the cat dog. Cat, dog.

Laura: Baby was born and caused quite a stir.

Ron: Oh, my God. The red guy from cow and chicken. He was so overtly sexual. Oh, uh, he was all about his butt. Ren and stimpy.

Laura: That was a Ren and stimpy was hideous.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Uh oh. He is all about his butt.

Ron: He's all about his butt.

Laura: Because, you know, he's all about his butt. About his butt. This red guy. He's all about his butt. Is he the devil?

Ron: He is the devil. Yeah.

Laura: He had a Ren and stimpy.

Ron is watching cartoons while we do the podcast

I remember we weren't allowed to watch Ren and Stimpy, but it was on around the time mum would need to go and bath younger sister of the podcast, so I could just about stand in the lounge and watch it, as long as I held the remote to turn it over if I heard anyone coming. Have you frozen or are you just looking at more cartoons from your childhood? Because we should really do a quiz.

Ron: Sorry, I was watching the red guy.

Laura: You can't just watch. No, you can't watch things, Ron. Getting distracted researching is one thing. You can't just stop watching a show.

Ron: I can.

Laura: I put my foot down at you. Just watching cartoons while we do the podcast.

Ron: Okay. Um, right, we doing a quiz then or what? Yeah, if you shag, marry, kill the kids from, uh, bednalls and broomsticks.

Laura: Oh, they're children all right. I don't want to do any of them with any of them.

Ron: Okay, we'll get rid of shag, um.

Laura: And kill and marry. Can we change them all? Okay, we'll do push, shove harshly.

Ron: We'll do scold. Uh, like with an a, like some hot water.

Laura: No, Ron, I'm burning a child.

Ron: Right, we'll do scold with an o. Yeah. Ah, we'll do. You have to go on a twelve week intensive cooking course with them.

Laura: Am, um, I the same age as them or am I.

Ron: No, it's you now.

Laura: Oh, fuck.

Ron: Well, yeah, I mean, you're probably the same age as eglantine price, so it all works.

You're given three kids and you only have three activities to do

All right, so you're living in the countryside and these, you go to the train station or wherever and you're given these three kids and there's, there's a war on. And then, um, you, you only have three activities that you could do with them. And there are only three things you can think of. You've got to scold one of them, you've got to take another one on a twelve week intensive cooking course. And then the other one, um, you have to take to Creeley Adventure park.

Laura: Um, um.

Ron: Ah.

Laura: Uh. Oof. It's tough to know what to do, Ron. I'll scold the. I'll scold the big one because he's a bit surly and teenager.

Ron: He's in the age of not believing. Yeah, he needs to be scolded.

Laura: I'll be like, get believing again. Listen to journey. What did journey say? They said don't stop believing.

Ron: But they never said start believing. They never said what to do to the people that are already not believing.

Laura: That's true. I'll take the little boy on the cooking course because he's quite good at following instructions with his little knob when he taps it three times and turns it. I think he'd be quite good at baking and stuff.

Ron: Maybe he'd be able to cut up some of the veggies with his bit of blue glass.

Laura: Yeah, lovely bit of string. Um, and then I'll take the girl to Creely, because the girl is one of those classic old school film girls that doesn't really have a personality other than. Oh, stop it, boys and being a nice girl. So I'll take her to Creely in a. Yes.

Ron: She sounds like loads of fun.

Laura: Well, I'd scold her.

Ron: No, have a personality.

Laura: Get her some adrenaline and bust her out of this role that historical women were stuck in.

Ron: Yeah. All right, let's do a quiz. That was fun, though, wasn't it?

Laura: That was lovely bit of business.

Ron: I don't think people talk about Ben or some broomsticks enough.

Laura: It's a great film, man.

Ron: We should do.

Laura: They all play football and they're all just crushing all over people.

Ron: Did we ever do a movies episode? Like an end of term watch a thing?

Laura: Uh, I can't remember.

Ron: We could do that on bed. No. Broomsticks. Find out what, maybe apogee. Perigee.

Laura: No, it's filigree apogee. Because they're all, like, actual magic words, aren't they?

Ron: I don't think they're magic words. Isn't filigree something to do with, like, gold? And then apogee and perigee are like, there's like, the apex and, like, troughs of something. I think the apogee in the perigee or something, but, yeah, we're not doing it now. We've got to save this for the episode. Um. Ah. I could do bed. No.

Laura: Apogee. Pedigree. Pedro G. Yeah.

Can you name three reasons why humans genetically modify things

Ron: All right, Laura. Three. Can you name three reasons why humans genetically modify things?

Laura: Because we're not magic. And this is the closest we have. Who are you texting?

Ron: It's just about almost killing gnocchi. You gonna answer the question?

Laura: What was the question again?

Ron: Three reasons why humans genetically modify things.

Laura: Um, to promote resistance to disease, for greater yield and for, um. Um. Uh, uh. Variations in species.

Ron: I'm not going to give you the last one.

Laura: Why?

Ron: Why do we want variation?

Laura: Because you might want 20 different colours of roses or a climbing rose versus a bush rose.

Ron: All right, I'll give you that now that you've explained it. Well done. Give me two examples, Laura, of real life, genetically modified things.

Laura: Um, the HIV virus, a retrovirus that goes in and modifies your genes.

Ron: Uh, when you say genetically modified like this, you. You're always meaning by humans.

Laura: By humans, for humans, the co op, good with food. Um, two examples of things that have been genetically modified. Um, well, pretty much all food we have, isn't it, at this point?

Ron: No, uh, literally none of the food that we eat is genetically modified.

Laura: I'm pretty sure genetically modified maize was a big deal in crisps around the time I wanted to eat a lot of crisps that looked extra cool and wasn't allowed them because they were genetically modified.

Ron: This is one of those times where it's like, why are you doubling down? I'm the quiz setter and I've said no.

Laura: So what you're saying, nothing. It's been genetically modified, but give two examples of things that have been genetically modified.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: This is the clues I have so far.

Ron: Well, um, do you not remember the 45 minutes of clues that we did in what's commonly known as the bulk of the episode? Sherlock Holmes?

Laura: No, Ron, I don't remember. Um, I don't remember simply at all. Who are you typing to?

Ron: It's about almost killing the cat.

Laura: Well, why are you texting and typing? It's too much, man. It's too much distraction for me.

Ron: I'm on the WhatsApp web.

Laura: Can you not? I've just answer the question afterwards. Um, I, um, wish a cat was genetically modified. So we stopped fucking talking about it and just got this cat back and I'm sick of it.

Ron: You miss the cat.

Laura: I do like the cat, but I still won't get to see the cat.

Ron: No. Even less than before.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, you could go visit Judith.

Laura: I could. I probably won't. I might.

Ron: Um.

Laura: Um. I think that cat would hate having child of the podcast around.

Two perceived cons of genetic modification, please. Two things that have been genetically modified

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: Two things that have been genetically modified. Paper. Nope. Felt wrong when I said it. Tried it out in my mouth, didn't like it. Um hmm.

Ron: You either know it or you don't.

Laura: With this one, the pancreas livers.

Ron: This is real, real classic. Just saying stuff here.

Laura: Actually, there's loads of stuff I thought that I didn't say.

Ron: You are just saying stuff, though. Although actually, with pancreas, you're not as far off as you thought, because one of them is bacteria to make insulin.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: So that we don't have to mash up all those pig pancreases in a bucket anymore.

Laura: The other one, um, so kind of. I was right there then.

Ron: No.

Laura: Kind of.

Ron: No.

Laura: A little bit.

Ron: No. The other example that we talked about quite a lot was golden rice. Golden.

Laura: Golden rice. Oh, yeah, I remember now. Look at me. Nowhere.

Ron: Two perceived cons of genetic modification, please.

Laura: Laura, you never know what you're doing. You're fucking about with stuff you don't understand and you'll probably screw it all up. And backlash in the Daily Mail.

Ron: I'm not gonna give that to you. Do you want to try again?

Laura: No.

Ron: All right. Three out of seven.

Laura: Why weren't those right? That was roughly right.

Ron: Roughly wasn't.

Laura: Uh. Okay, what were the real answers?

Ron: So you could have said that there's not been much testing into their effect on after human consumption.

Laura: Or you absolutely said, you don't know what you're doing. You're fucking about with stuff you don't understand. Ding.

Ron: No. Um, yeah, but that just covers everything. She's like, might be bad.

Laura: Yeah?

Ron: Is that what you're saying? Just might be bad.

Laura: Don't change anything. Just in case.

Ron: Yeah. No, not giving it to you. Huh.

Laura: All right, then.

Ron: That's the quiz, eh?

Laura: Hello, quiz. You are delicious.

Ron: Whoa.

Do you think me and Laura should livestream some minecraft

Well, that was an episode, wasn't it, dear listeners, it was. What did you think? I liked it a lot. I liked, um. I liked the, like the Minecraft stuff up at the top. I liked the nineties cartoons bit at the back. I was a big fan of seeds. That really made me chuckle. Um, yeah, let's get some dialogue going because it's just me. Well, do you think me and Laura should livestream some minecraft? We want to. We like to play. It wouldn't be nice to monetize that, that. Um, seeds, what's your favourite nineties cartoon? Uh, which, which. Which ones do you miss? I was a big fan of Dexter's lab ed and Eddie Powerpuff girls. They're good. Samurai Jack. Banging banging intro music but, yeah, grand episode. Um, sign up for the Patreon and you would get your name read out on. Um, um, um, um, um, um. The Patreon register.

Today we are thanking Sarah Morris, who is the charismatic leader of a rival church

Today we are thanking Sarah Morris, who is the charismatic but problematic leader of a rival church that instead of worshipping horses, worships Armadillos and the, uh, God armadillopolis. In this religion, it's pretty chill. You go to church on a Tuesday and instead of wine and bread being the Lord's blood and flesh, milk and potatoes bravus are the Lord. Dreams and hair scoots are wishes you trade to a priest for a good time. Thank you, Sarah Morris. Ah, thanks, Sarah. Yeah. Um, so do sign up for the patreon, everybody, and you'd get, um, some rambling nonsense like that and you'll get some rambling nonsense like that very soon because we've got a short, short old Runway of, um, patrons to read out. So do get signed up for some immediate gratification from me. I imagine me saying your name, or Laura saying your name, and then another thing after that, just like how I just did. Wow, that'd be great, wouldn't it? We'd all love it. Um, so that's. That's. That's everything. Um, yeah. Uh, look out for us online and stuff. Um, how do we sign these off, usually?

Do I say class dismissed now, or is that the end of the episode

Do I say class dismissed now, or is that the end of the episode? Good. I think it's now, isn't it? I think it's now. All right. Class dismissed. Oh, shit.