Sensey Toons

Laura: I can't get my head around this. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Lex Lex Education.

Ron: Same room edition.

Laura: Same room. Uh, it's the comedy science podcast where comedian me, Laura Lex, tries to learn science. Science from this. Same room, brother Ron.

Ron: Same room. Hello.

Laura: Hi, Ron. I've been listening to a very professional podcast lately. The rest is history. You know, like a proper, uh, very different to ours.

Ron: Yeah. Did you like the intros, outros? I did. Last week.

Laura: I did. I did your very marbles, um, when left to your own devices.

Ron: Yeah. When I'm not having to shout over.

Laura: You, I was surprised you didn't want to tell stories all by yourself. But it did make me feel loved, like it's me you're talking to, not the listeners.

Ron: Yeah, I just kind of rambled, I think. Yeah, I did a good impression of you.

Laura: You did? Yes. It was very horrible. I put a video out of us this week, and, um, yet again, every time I put a video out, people go, that's Ron.

Ron: Whoa.

Laura: No, not what I was picturing. And now I'm curious as to what people were picturing.

Ron: What were people picturing?

Laura: I don't know. I don't know. Send in your drawings of fucking how you pictured Ron before you saw him.

Ron: Yeah. Um, I did some good begging for the Patreon.

Laura: Yeah. Didn't get any patrons, though.

Ron: No, no, the threatened, I guess. Threatening to price hike existing patrons doesn't really encourage new people.

Laura: Maybe you should start a spreadsheet of, um, things we've tried and the effect it's had on the Patreon uptake that week. And we could try hard love, like carrot stick, you know, we could offer special offers and we could properly look at how the market.

Ron: Attribution reporting. That's cool.

Laura: Yeah. We could do that.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Do that.

Ron: No.

Laura: Why?

Ron: Seems long, doesn't it?

Laura: Does seem.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah. Okay.

Judith: Ron, how's your week been, Ron

Um. How's your week been, Ron?

Ron: It's good. It's Wednesday.

Laura: You went to a wedding.

Ron: I went to a wedding. Uh, I'm here for a magic draught. Yeah, it's all good, really.

Laura: We're on tenterhooks as to whether royal mail's gonna deliver it in time.

Ron: Yeah, they've said they would. They've said they would by half seven.

Laura: Yeah. Which is when we'd probably start.

Ron: Yeah. We're gonna have hummus for dinner, you've said.

Laura: Yep. I'm falafel.

Ron: I love hummus.

Laura: Mm hmm. You've eaten hummus twice since you've been here.

Ron: Mmm.

Laura: You've only been here.

Ron: 15 hours on toast and on rice.

Laura: Yeah. Hummusy rice is an interesting one.

Ron: My friend Betho introduced, uh, me to hummus pasta salad, where he just like mixed pesto and hummus to make the sauce. It's delicious. Because if you think about it, what is hummus if not just like greek pesto?

Laura: Yeah. I think my favourite thing about in the hummus discourse is I want to say it's Adam Hess or maybe John Hastings joke about how, like, hummus and falafel is chickpea in chickpea. And that is like dipping chips in mashed potatoes. That's the potato equivalent, you know?

Ron: Yeah, yeah. That's strong.

Laura: Delicious. Um, listen, we have to confess. Not only is this intros outros done before Ron's heard the episode, we haven't recorded all of the episode yet. Ron wanted to do the intro's outros first, and then we're gonna do a quiz in a minute.

Ron: Gotta mix up the timeline.

Laura: Well, I guess what we could do, though, is we could listen to the episode now, then you and I will do the quiz and then do an outro after that quiz.

Ron: I don't want to listen to the.

Laura: No, we're not going to sit the.

Ron: Listener because we're sat cross legged on the floor. I want to just sit and listen to our own podcast with you right now, man.

Laura: It's like we're like playing Jumanji up in the loft, sitting on the floor cross legged, um, uh, with a blanket between us for sound quality because we're as professional as the rest is history in a lot of ways. I've learned so much. I'm listening to that one and I'm listening to, um, uh, history on fire, which is great. And, um, that history of english one. And I'm learning so much about the whole world, Ron.

Ron: Lovely. Yeah, yeah. The old bits of it.

Laura: Yeah, I'm learning just. Yeah, I don't want to learn about the world currently because I have to live in that. So I'd rather only know about the bits I'm coming into contact with.

Ron: Mmm.

Laura: It's too big to worry about the whole world, whereas history has happened now, so we can just learn from it.

Ron: You don't have to worry about history. No, I think that's the comforting thing.

Laura: Yeah, I think that's. Why. Is that why we like it so much?

Ron: I, uh. No, I think it's just, I think. I think the tapestry of human achievement and all those stories is why we like it so much. But I think it's comforting because like, you know, they're like, oh, is Hannibal gonna make it over the alps? Spoiler alert. He did. And something happened after that. Yeah, but did the world end? For some people, yeah. Lots of people died. But for others, fine.

Laura: I've already edited them. M, this is. This is the most fucked up the podcast has ever been. Because I've edited the main bulk. But I haven't. We haven't recorded the quiz. Why have you put my glasses on? Do we play with people's glasses?

Ron: We can put them on. Is that a good look for me?

Laura: It's not bad, actually, if you needed glasses. But we have the same face, so of course they kind of work for you.

Ron: Mmm. Yeah, I'm not sure about it.

Laura: They're a bit glamorous for you, maybe.

Ron: Yeah. I don't like the pageantry.

Laura: No, if you had to have glasses, you'd just have those ones with no frames, just glass.

Ron: Why is there just a lock here?

Laura: Because I bought it for you and Judith when you needed a lock to house Judith's bike, when you lived in Brighton. And if you remember, well, when you left Brighton, everything you didn't want, you just left at my house. So here's this lock.

Ron: Yeah, I remember this lock.

Harry: I assume it's Dad's guitar. I'm going on a trip on his boat next week

Now. I don't think you did buy this for me. I think you just had it and you gave it to me. It's still very nice of you, but I don't want this narrative that you were out buying locks for me. I don't know why you'd have done, um, that. Um.

Laura: Because I'm nice and you needed one.

Ron: I think you'd have said, you should go get a lock. No, I think you had this around.

Laura: Well, either way, that's where the lock came from. The lock?

Ron: Guitar.

Laura: Yes. It's in my fucking dare. Great, because I assume, anyway, there's a guitar case. Don't look for it now. I tidied up this whole loft so he'd stop whinging about how gross it was. And now here he is just pulling stuff out Willy nilly. To the right, there's my black and red guitar case. I assume that's the guitar that's in there.

Ron: Nice.

Laura: With all of your asterisk books.

Ron: That's great.

Laura: And some records, I think. Some records maybe.

Ron: Probably ones I don't like very much. Mm hmm.

Laura: Really glad they're here, buddy.

Ron: Dad's. Dad's sad that he thought he lost this guitar.

Laura: Well, cheque if it's that one, okay. It's climbing over a bean bag. They never do this on the rest is history. They just research and then talk really kindly to each other, actually. And when they do banter, it's like jokes that they both know. They don't say, you've got horrible buck teeth. Here's the guitar case. I assume it's our dad's guitar. I'm going on a trip on my dad's boat next week.

Ron: It is Dad's guitar.

Laura: Hooray. Ooh, sounds mysterious. Anyway, I guess I'm sitting here now while Ron tunes of guitar. You guys can listen to the episode. Have a good time. 17 minutes till bread time, Ron.

Ron: T minus bread.

Laura: Yeah. At 17 minutes, I bet you wish you had a 17 minutes sand timer.

Ron: I could do a combo of them. I don't have them anymore.

Laura: No? Where are they?

Ron: Don't I? Scattered to the wind.

Laura: Bloody hell, Harry.

It's chemistry today. We're recapping chemistry these days

It's, um, um. It's chemistry today.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: We're recapping chemistry these days. No, no, we must be nearly finished.

Ron: This might be the last chemistry app, Laura.

Laura: Is it? Does that depend on how smart and brilliant I am?

Ron: It depends on. Yeah. How much we get into stuff, how focused we are, I suppose.

Laura: Really focused. I'm gonna be really. Even though it's a rain episode.

Ron: It's not raining here.

Laura: Is it?

Ron: What are you looking at now? Um.

Laura: Um.

Ron: Uh, uh.

Laura: It's Stephen Merchant.

Ron: Um.

Laura: Um.

Ron: Why are you just looking at pictures of Stephen Merchant?

Laura: What do you do on a Wednesday morning?

Ron: Just, like, topless pics.

Laura: No bottomless tops on Winnie the Pooh style. Yeah, I like men. Donald ducking. I want one hand and a pot of honey and some little cheeks poking out the bottom of your t shirt. Cheeks. Cheeks. Cheeks. Cheeks. Cheeks. Cheeks. Cheeks. Cheeks.

Ron: Stephen Merchant's an interesting looking man. A very dramatic face.

Laura: Yeah, yeah. It looks like he was made in, like, Aardman studios.

Ron: Yeah. I think when you watch anything Ricky Gervais has done post like extras, you realise quite how funny Stephen Merchant is.

Laura: I don't think I've watched much Ricky Gervais, other than extra extras was the only thing I really liked. I think afterlife looked bleak. I don't. I can't get on with the english office. I've tried it and tried it and tried it. I just don't, um, fall in love with it. What else has he done?

Ron: Ghost town, I think one of them was called, where he could see dead people.

Laura: Did he actually write that? Was he just in it?

Ron: I don't know. The invention of lying.

Laura: Yeah. Derek seen any of these things? No, I haven't seen Derek either.

Ron: No, Derek always smelt wrong.

Laura: Derek just looked a bit to me like, I don't think we're in a place where you want to be playing somebody with learning difficulties. Do you like, it just seemed a bit, a bit like little Britain 20 years ago.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: But I don't know, I never watched it, so I don't know. It could have been completely sensitively dealt with and very nice, but I just.

Ron: Don'T really trust Gervais could do that.

Laura: Yeah, no, I completely agree. Uh, yeah, so, yeah, extras, I think is the only thing. Well, obviously I'm very, I love the american office and the english office and Gervais had to exist for that to have happened, so that's great. And kind of parks and rec, which is arguably a spin off from american office. Originally in intention in some ways.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Well, that's what they originally pitched it as.

Ron: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then Rashida Jones was in both, so.

Laura: Oh, yeah, I've never thought about that before, Ron.

It's a perpetual rain episode today, Ron. Did you know that rain is hard to record

Yeah, it's a perpetual rain episode today. It's really coming down out there, Ron.

Ron: Wow, I am, there's gonna be so.

Laura: Many snails in my garden. They're doing a right number on my sunflowers. I wish all these birds that I can't afford to feed would just eat the snails. I'm providing you with a smorgasbord of snails and slugs. Eat those instead of my fat, fat balls. Henry bells, can you hear the rain?

Ron: Why did I put my ear to the microphone?

Laura: M.

Ron: Now I can, I held the.

Laura: Microphone up to the veilux for you.

Ron: Did you know that rain is really hard to record? So, um, whenever you see rain, or often when you see rain in like a movie or tv or something, the sound of it is just frying bacon.

Laura: Is that a lie?

Ron: I think it's true. Um, I saw it on the Internet.

Laura: So sounds right then.

Ron: Sounds right.

Laura: Argue with the Internet. I'm tired of having blocked sinuses. Ron.

Ron: Yeah, I've been ill for fucking ages, it seems.

Laura: What's going on? We're sick of this dreadful speckled mug.

Ron: God. Remember the Harry Potter puppet pals?

Laura: Yes, I do. That was I saw on the other day on TikTok, I saw somebody doing like a spoof of the potter puppet pals. And I was like, potter puppet pals is so nostalgic now that people are doing like new versions of it on TikTok.

Ron: Crazy. The, the guy that did Harry Potter puppet pals, he did a bunch of, um, other really funny videos as well. He's worth looking into he did Brody quest. He did a spoof of Lenny Kravitz's dragonfly, um, which is very, very funny.

Laura: Thank you, Joaquim Levinson.

Ron: I think his name, I want to say its name's Neil Sorea.

Laura: Oh, I was close.

Ron: Let's have a look, shall we?

Laura: Yeah, why not? Why wouldn't that be what we're doing? We're certainly not doing chemistry, Neil.

Ron: Kikariga. Uh, I'm gonna pronounce that as. All right, yeah. Anywho.

I'm listening to a very interesting podcast called the history of English

Laura: I'm listening to a very interesting podcast called the history of English at the moment, Ron. And at the moment, they're sort of history there is not of our culture, darling, of our language, and it's done by an American. So why is he doing it? He can't even speak it himself.

Ron: Yeah, speak american, motherfucker.

Laura: Pew, pew. Um, but it's not at the school. Oh, no. Um, it's quite an interesting bit in there about why we have c and k and why c changes its sound and stuff. And there was a whole bit on how k just kind of dropped away from the greek Alphabet. The Romans didn't really use it for them, a c was always a k sound. And then, like Middle English people, scribes brought k back in to clarify things. But then he was, like, explaining how the vowels, a, e, I, o, n, u, like, uh, uh, are, uh, like back of the throat ones, whereas I and, uh, or something are front of the mouth vowels. Like, there's two vowels that you more make the sound with the front of your mouth than the throat, than the back of your mouth. And like, English follows this rule where if it's, um, like cat cup, like that sort of thing, it is a c u or like ca. But you'd, you'd very rarely get k a. Um, like k would be for e or I and stuff like that. But I think it's k a and ku very rarely exists in the english language for words that have come from Latin. Like, the only one, like, the example he gave was like, oh, kangaroo. But obviously that word didn't come to us through Latin, but you tend to use the c on those vowels. It was very interesting. I recommend the history of English podcast if anybody finds that sort of etymology and history and language changing. Interesting.

Ron: Only once you listen to all of this one, though.

Laura: Oh, yeah. Don't switch this off now and go there.

Ron: Righty ho. Huh? Laura, should we do some bloody science and stuff?

Laura: Yes, mate. Let's finish this chemistry. Let's put it into a burning coffin and fire it out to sea.

Ron: Laura, what happened? So you, you live in a shit infested hovel? What? When. When one of your shits goes in the toilet? On the rare occasion, what happens to all of the water that you flushed it down with?

Laura: Goes with the poop?

Ron: Yep. And then what happens to a treatment plant? Yes. We treat our water, don't we? And then once we've treated it real good and nice, we can drink it again.

Laura: Well, actually, at the moment, I think my poops might be going straight in the sea. That's what I can gather from.

Ron: No, Laura, they're going into rivers that flow into the sea. Actually, you're in Brighton. Maybe it is just going straight into a surfer's eye.

Laura: I'm pretty sure Fergusaki told me it was going in the sea.

Ron: Yeah. Is that the guy from that band?

Laura: Yeah. Who's really into river clean now?

Ron: Yeah. Good, good man. Um, there's four different ways, Laura. Uh, four different things that they do to clean the water. First, though, you've got to get the. Well. No, number one, not first where. Yes, first, but not. Not first as in before the four ways. First as in first of the four ways. Okay. Did that make m. You right? You're still following.

Laura: I don't know if that bit needed following so much, unless in the exam they're going to say, and make sure these go in order.

Ron: No, they might, but I don't know. So what I do, quite often, I look at the syllabus to find out what we're going through. And then, um, sometimes it's quite sort of like, sometimes it'll be vague and I'm a bit like, this must be a bigger topic than that. So then I go to BBC bite size because they often just like flesh it out with the right examples and stuff. Bite size has been a lifesaver for this podcast.

Laura: Uh, that came out around the time I was doing my GCSE's, I think the BBC.

Ron: Yeah, that does scan. Um, anyway, um, and then I, uh. Yeah, so I went on BBC bite size for this topic and it was basically just copy and paste from the syllabus. So there's not much to learn here.

Human waste can be harmful to aquatic ecosystems, says Henry Bell

Laura, what's the deal with human waste? Why is that bad for now, for us?

Laura: Is it because we're carnivores?

Ron: Uh, no.

Laura: Full of microplastic now.

Ron: But as we've, as we discussed in an episode recently, this is kind of fine, isn't it? Microplastics not hurting us, probably.

Laura: They're all in testicles. I read this morning. Um. Your balls are.

Ron: Maybe, um.

Laura: Well, it's full of bacteria. Is that what it is?

Ron: That's part of it. Why is human poo bacteria the worst.

Laura: For us? Yeah, because it must be bacteria we don't want or our bodies would have kept it.

Ron: Well, yeah. Cause it's all related. It's all human bacteria. Yeah. Whereas, like, horse bacteria can't infect us. Um, there's also lots of nitrox nitrogen compounds in human waste.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: So. Which can be harmful to aquatic ecosystems. So we shouldn't just pump it into the water all the time.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Thames water, industrial waste, Laura, that can have lots of harmful chemicals in it. Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Such as toxic metal compounds, agricultural wastewater that can have fertilisers and pesticides in it, which, um.

Laura: Again, lots of nitrogen.

Ron: Yeah. Have you ever heard of eutrophication?

Laura: No.

Ron: That's where fertilisers flow into the rivers and then the algae goes, oh, delicious. Fertilisers and weir plants. And then the algae goes, pow. Changes the ecosystem of the water, loads and kills off all the fish and stuff.

Laura: Yeah, I think with all these things, it's about just not flooding it with loads of one thing, because that's never good for an ecosystem, is it? Yeah, an ecosystem is a delicate balance.

Ron: Too fucking right. Um, sorry. And pesticides are just poison, so don't put poison in the water and don't.

Laura: Use them in your gardens.

Ron: No, use natural pesticides like birds.

Laura: I'm trying, but they won't eat the slugs. They only want my fat balls, Henry Bell.

Ron: Well, because you're feeding them. So it's like, oh, I'm so full of fat balls, Henry bells. And so I cannot. Why would I chase that slug?

Laura: Yeah, they are all Heimlich from bug's life. That is how all my birds talk.

Ron: Um, now on to the four things.

Laura: I use chilli powder to stop the foxes digging up my bulbs.

Ron: How did that go down?

Laura: Yeah, pretty good. They've left them alone recently. I used crushed up eggshells the other day to save, um, some of my sunflowers.

Ron: That's good, I feel. Yeah, you're progressing in your witchiness.

Laura: I don't think you should call me a witch.

Ron: I don't think you should collect dog teeth in a box.

Laura: But I haven't got them. You threw them away. Oh, my God. The other day, I saw somebody on Instagram who makes people's dog teeth into jewellery and I was so mad at you that you'd thrown away her dog teeth?

Ron: Her rotten little spare.

Laura: They weren't rotten, uh, hideous.

Ron: If you keep child of the podcast's teeth, I'll throw those away, too.

Laura: I'll throw you away.

Ron: Please don't. Please don't keep her teeth.

Laura: I'm going to give you one of her teeth every year for your birthday in some food, and you won't even know you've eaten them.

Ron: You know what? I'm happier with that than you holding on to them.

Laura: Great.

The four ways of cleaning water are sedimentation, screening and grit removal

Ron: So now on to the four ways, Laura. The four ways of what? Cleaning water. The first of which, not first before the four ways, but first of the four ways, is to remove large particles. We call this screening and grit removal.

Laura: Uh, yeah, I'm picturing a canvas sheet and there's lots of turds on one side and lots of oozy brown water on the other side.

Ron: Then what we do is sedimentation. Um, so, you know, like when you see the big tanks of water and sewage treatment plants and they're just gently getting mixed, but you're a bit like, what's going on here?

Laura: No, Ron, I've never been to a sewage place. I've never seen these tanks.

Ron: Oh, uh, you drive past them on trains all the time.

Laura: How do you know what they are?

Ron: Because I know what a sewage treatment plant looks like.

Laura: Why?

Ron: Because I think one of the fundamental differences between you and I is I'm curious about the world, and when I see something that I don't know what it is, I don't just go and then move on. I go, oh, what's that? Maybe I'll try and find out. Or I'll ask. Ah. Someone that's with me.

Laura: I just don't think I've ever seen one of these things.

Ron: You know there's a sewage treatment plant like 300 metres away from mum and dad's house.

Laura: Yeah, but you can't see it.

Ron: You can if you look at it.

Laura: I don't think I've ever looked at it. Oh, they look like big clocks on the floor.

Ron: Yeah, you must have seen these things before.

Laura: Yeah, but I'm looking at this from the air, Ron, that's flat. You wouldn't even see that from the floor.

Ron: You see it from a train window.

Laura: I've never seen one of those out of a train window.

Ron: You'll, uh, start seeing them all the time now.

Laura: Oh, good, that'll improve life.

Ron: Yeah. So what's happening there is they're just letting the water sediment out so all the tiny particles just like, sink to the bottom, um, which then produces sewage sludge and effluent.

Laura: I need to go and take my bread out of the oven

Laura: The effluent on that note, I need to go and take my bread out of the oven. Yuck.

Ron: Anyway, you want that bit cut? Yeah, yeah. Props. Um. You back from your bread, Laura?

Laura: Yeah, it was a little flatter than I'd have liked. But most things in your life are not true. I'm curvilicious, babe.

The effluent is treated with aerobic bacteria to reduce the volume of solid waste

Ron: Um, so then we've got. We got sludge in effluent, Laura, you know what happens to the sludge?

Laura: This doesn't feel chemistry.

Ron: That's why we're cruising through it. You know what happens to the sludge.

Laura: Gets pumped onto the bottom of the sea.

Ron: No. It's digested anaerobically by specific bacteria.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: Do you know what anaerobically means?

Laura: Without oxygen?

Ron: Yep. The effluent is treated with aerobic bacteria to reduce the volume of solid waste, which it's just. To me, I thought that was the point of the sedimentation. I thought. I thought we got rid of the grit removal. We got rid of the poo, then we sediment to get rid of the small poo bits. So what's in the effluent?

Laura: Even more small poo. Like, you know, sometimes you do a poo and it's just loads of tiny beads instead of a big log. It's those ones. I read a really harrowing thing about poo the other day. There was somebody was like, look, I get it. Our bodies don't digest sweet corn. So I eat it and then I poop it out. But listen, I'm looking at my poop and there's full sweet corns in there, even though I know I chewed it. What the fuck is happening? And then someone replied. I was like, well, do you know what that is? It's because even when you're biting a sweet corn, you're biting down, the middle's popping out. But the outside's really tough. It's really hard to chew down the outsides. So what you're pooping out is those outsides and they look reinflated because they're now full of your shit. And then someone else was replying, like, that is horrible. Imagine getting eaten and then someone just poops out your skin full of their own shit.

Ron: I'm gonna move on now. We're gonna skip this bit because that seems dull and it's higher tier only.

All of this syllabus peters out. It's like they know children's attention spans come summer

And we're onto the last section, Laura, the last chemistry section. Do you want to say anything?

Laura: Um. All of this syllabus peters out. It's like they know that children's attention spans come summer are like not interested. And so they just go like, oh, there's some pipes. Do you want to talk about poo? Okay, if you look over here, we can talk about poo, because this is not where, like, we've learned some really fascinating things about the universe in this. And now we're literally talking about shit.

Life cycle assessments assess environmental impact of products in four different stages

Ron: We'Re doing. Laura, the lifecycle assessment, 510.2. .1 do you know what a life cycle assessment is?

Laura: Um, no, Ron.

Ron: Life, um, cycle assessments are carried out to assess the environmental impact of products in four different stages. Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So, first. And that's the first of the four stages. Not, uh, first stage, before the four stages. In the main bit. Where's the. What's the first stage of making a thing, Laura?

Laura: Collecting the materials.

Ron: The raw materials. Exactly. So we have to work out what the environmental impact of collecting those materials is going to be. Ugh. Oh, goodness. I've coughed on myself.

Laura: Is it really wet?

Ron: Yeah. Uh. Uh.

Laura: You just sitting there covered in your own phlegm. This is easily the most disgusting episode we've ever done.

Ron: Yeah, poo and phlegm.

Laura: Um, if you had to eat a cupful of anything, your own poo or someone else's phlegm.

Ron: How big a cup?

Laura: A mug.

Ron: It's got to be the flam.

Laura: Sex education mug.

Ron: It's got to be the phlegm.

Laura: It's a dirty smoker.

Ron: That's. That's fine. That's just seasoning.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Um, anywho, um, the raw materials, I might cut that as well. That's rancid. The raw materials, Laura, what affects how much energy or whatever the raw materials impact is?

Laura: What was that question? That wasn't a question. You gave up on it. On, like, the third word.

Ron: What effect? What affects raw materials?

Laura: Energy, you know, um, whether they're sustainable raw materials. So, like, if you have to quarry for lithium or stuff, the cost of it. So, like, the human wage cost and the health factor, um, how much it destroys the local environment, I guess, like, just chopping down or quarrying it itself, produce a lot of waste that has to go into the local water table and stuff.

Ron: Absolutely. So the two big ones there, using up limited resources such as ores and crude oils, and damaging habitats through croying, mining or felling trees.

Laura: Yeah.

What's the next stage of making a thing? Manufacture

Ron: What's the next stage of making a thing?

Laura: Manufacture.

Ron: Yes. Are you reading this?

Laura: No.

Ron: Oh, that's just. That's exactly the word that it has in this. And it was four syllables, so I thought you might have been reading it. Um, yeah. What's gonna.

Laura: What you think I can't remember four syllable words?

Ron: I think you very rarely use them.

Laura: Fuck yourself.

Ron: Fuck yourself. Yep. One and two.

Laura: Okay, well, I can't think of any off the top of my head, but insults don't tend to be four syllables, so insults don't tend to be quadrilaterally polysyllabic.

Ron: Um, so we got land use for manufacturing. How much land does it take to make a thing?

Laura: And then how much energy.

Ron: Yeah. The use of machines and people. How much energy those are using. Yeah. What's the next stage of making a thing? Or not even necessary making a thing. What's the next stage of a thing?

Laura: Um, packaging and distribution.

Ron: No.

Laura: Life. Life length of the product, kind of.

Ron: So it's use the use of the thing. Uh, so different things will have a different environmental impact when they're being used.

Laura: Stop playing with whatever you're playing with on your microphone. It's so tappy and annoying.

Ron: It's gone fine.

Laura: Good God. You and dad, you just tap, tap, tap all day.

Ron: Tap a, tap a tap. I've broken my desk. Um, so different things will have different energy use while they're in use. If you.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: For example, the pinnacle of human achievement, the wheel, a, uh, wheelbarrow, once you've made it, basically no energy. Right.

Laura: That's why they're so great. So much better than a helicopter, uh, which is incredibly energy inefficient, I believe.

Ron: But something like, um, let's say a, um, t shirt that maybe has, like, um, I don't know, bugs bunny on it that does have an energy cost while it's in use.

Laura: Does it? Oh, to be washed.

Ron: Because it needs to be washed.

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

Ron: Um, so those things, um.

Laura: Or possibly ironed, if you're a really fancy person.

Ron: Yeah. If you're a really fancy Looney Tunes fan, if you're not that Looney, to be honest. Um. Uh, um. And, uh, yeah, or things like a car or a helicopter, they're gonna have.

Laura: I'm just a sensible tunes fan.

Ron: Yeah. Just a sense.

Laura: Yeah, I just like all the straight men. Sensey tunes.

What's stage four after use disposal, Laura? After use disposal

Ron: And then what's stage four, Laura? After use disposal. That's, again, exactly the word. You are reading this, aren't you?

Laura: You're not reading it. Right on. I'm just a smart girl who knows a lot about manufacturing.

Ron: What, um, what's in disposal? What's going to affect that?

Laura: Um, whether it can be recycled and broken down into component parts, I think, or reused or fixed, or whether it's going to go into landfill and then if it is going to go into landfill, like, how long does that take to break down? And does it leach out anything as it's breaking down?

Ron: Exactly. Exactly, exactly, exactly.

Laura: Like every single nappy, it, they so far predict that they will survive for 450 years.

Ron: That's bleak.

Laura: Yeah. And Chris packets like they last forever. Like you always find those in mud.

Ron: Um, yeah. So that's what an LCA is. Laura. Um, do you, let's, um. What we're going to do now is we're going to compare lcas of two different things. Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Sorry, that was just me punching the mic with my hand.

Laura: It's all right. You've been doing it all episode. We're used to the noise.

We're comparing plastic carrier bags versus paper carrier bags

Ron: Okay, so we're gonna do plastic carrier bags versus paper carrier bags.

Laura: Oh, wow.

Ron: Okay, so can you compare these two things in stage one and two? Sorry, stage one of stage one.

Laura: Stage one of a plastic bag. Uh, plastic comes from like crude oil offshoots, I think so a non sustainable source.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: With paper bags you either have to have deforestation or more likely it's a recycled paper.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: You're probably not going to use virgin paper for something like that.

Ron: What about the energy involved in the two? Can you speak to that?

Laura: Um, probably more for plastic because it's probably requires higher energy to distil the crude oil and get it out than chopping down a tree.

Ron: Absolutely.

Laura: I could probably make paper with a couple of months of training. I don't think I could dig any crude oil out.

Ron: Honey. Peanuts. What about the manufacturing process?

Laura: Um, well, I'm going to say that making a paper bag is much simpler because we've been doing that for hundreds of years, whereas plastic is relatively new. So way fewer chemical offshoots, I'd thought, and a much lower energy process to make a paper bag.

Ron: No, actually, m it's way cheaper to make, um, plastic bags.

Laura: Yeah, cheaper, yeah. But not fewer chemical offshoots, surely.

Ron: Uh, it says here that, um, I think it's to do with the complexity of the, um, of the process because like cheaper in this sense, use like is also talking to like the energy of it. Where, um.

Laura: But is it cheaper because they're using an offshoot of crude oil? Like are they using an oil off product that's being mined anyway? Um, you can buy the base product for cheaper.

Ron: I don't know. I don't think so. Because the, the raw materials cost of, um, paper bags is cheaper, but then when it comes to the manufacturing, it comes down to processes in a carrier, like a plastic carrier bag, it's all one bit of plastic. Whereas when you make a paper bag, it's usually, um, had to have a paper handle glued onto it, which then adds to that quite a lot. What about the use, Laura?

Laura: Well, it varies. It really varies. It depends on the structure of the plastic bag. Like, plastic bags can last. Like, uh, it's very dependent on what type of paper bag we're talking about and what kind of plastic bag we're talking about.

Ron: Ron.

Laura: It is, they're used for similar things, but it varies massively because sometimes a plastic bag lasts for ages, sometimes it breaks real quick. Paper bags, sometimes they're really good and nice and thick, and sometimes it rains and it falls apart.

Ron: So it says here that plastic carrier bags, during their use, actually have a lower impact on the environment because they can be used many times. Whereas paper bags only a limited number of reuses.

Laura: But m I think plastic bags have a limited number of reuses too. They rip and they break a lot.

Ron: Yeah, but like Mount Rushmore has a limited number of reuses. That's all relative.

Laura: Hmm.

Ron: Um, then the last one is disposal.

Laura: Well, paper bags can be recycled or a biodegradable, and plastic bags live forever in dolphins lungs.

Ron: Well done, Laura.

Laura: Um.

Ron: That'S lCa's. How do you feel about it?

Laura: Yeah, common, um, sense. Science is common sense.

Ron: Yeah. The last bit, Laura, is about ways of reducing the use of resources.

Laura: Just stop it. Stop everything.

Ron: Well, it's basically recycle, use less, reduce, reuse, recycle. Exactly, exactly, exactly.

Laura: Biodiesel from cooking oils. Uh, thanks, McDonald's.

Ron: When I was in Brussels at the weekend, there was a recycling box where you could put your old frying oil because the Belgians love frying stuff so much, they have to have those just on the street.

Laura: Oh, did you get your air fryer yet?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: What have you made?

Ron: Uh, vegetables, uh, courgette patties. I made chips.

Laura: Nice. I cooked my falafel in mine yesterday.

Ron: It's good. I do need to get some of that spray for when it's supposed to be fried. Less oveny, but. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah. Mhm.

Two down, one to go. Should we ever look at how much biology we've got

Then you want to get some hash browns on in there, mate.

Ron: Laura, we just fucking finished chemistry, man.

Laura: Yes. Two down, one to go. Two down, one to go.

Ron: Should we ever look at how much biology we've got?

Laura: We got two down, one to go. Boo boo boo boo boo boo doo.

Ron: Doo doo doo diddle doo.

Laura: And she's learned absolutely everything there is to learn. There's, uh, simply nothing left to learn. If her name is Laura, and you're a girl and you're wearing headphones, talking to Ron, and he has got his little frown on because he's looking for more.

Ron: Oh, there's actually loads of biology left.

Laura: Bloody hell. Biology?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Should we just only do biology until biology is done?

Ron: I guess. No, I think. I think once we, um, finish recapping physics and chemistry, then we'll just bang out the rest of biology, including a recap.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: And then we need to work out what we're doing.

Laura: We're kind of recapping physics and chemistry at the same pace we learned it in the first place.

Ron: Yeah, that's true.

Laura: All right, Ron, well, I'll see you for the final chemistry quiz.

Ron: Yeah. Exciting.

Laura: You have to quiz me. As well as tuning the guitar they were on. I found my notebook, by the way.

Ron: Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, I don't think this. I think these might be high gauge strings.

Laura: What does that mean?

Ron: I think I had to this in, like, open sea or something. That's fun, isn't it?

Laura: That's really fun.

Ron: Let's put that away.

Laura: Do you want to take that home with you today?

Ron: No, give it to dad. I'm not going home today, am I?

Laura: Well, you're going back closer to dad than I am.

Ron: But I'm not going home today, am I?

Laura: Oh, not today, no. For when you do go home.

Ron: No.

Laura: Okay. I'm gonna burn your asterisks books.

Ron: That's fine.

Laura: Do you just not want them?

Ron: I don't feel like they should be thrown away, though. Give them to mum. She likes frivolous cartoons.

Laura: You're a weird guy, Ron.

Ron: What have I done?

Laura: So can it not be tuned now that you've had it? In open sea.

Ron: You can't be tuned.

Laura: With this, by the way. We mean that as in a music way, not. It's been in the Pacific Ocean bottom.

Ron: Yeah. And I can't do it right now.

Laura: Okay. Uh, well, that is a curse and.

Ron: A blessing, because higher gauge strings are thicker, so that if you tighten them up to a normal thing.

Laura: Maybe I'm a higher gauge string.

Ron: Yeah, you're like half a ukulele.

Laura: A uka.

Ron: Judy was showing me, a musical comedian that she's discovered in the last year that she really likes, and she was, like, telling me all about it. Yeah, she plays this tiny little guitar.

Laura: It's amazing. She just never heard of ukuleles before, apparently.

Ron: No.

Laura: Oh, Judith, you basic bitch.

Ron: Oh, that's very, very funny. Right.

Should we do a bit of a quiz? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Should we do a bit of a quiz?

Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ron: Well, we've been quite recording for ten minutes now.

Laura: Um. Um. I don't think all of that's quiz, though.

Ron: No, most of it's mine.

Laura: M only two minutes of its quiz.

Ron: Um. Um, Laura, there's lots of points available in today's quiz. Okay, are you ready? Can you remember what we were doing in the bulk of this episode?

Laura: Sewage.

Ron: Yeah, and so I won't play with.

Laura: The lock for sewage.

Ron: And, um.

Laura: Oh, manufacturing lCA's.

Ron: Yeah. So, Laura, what are the four stages of an LCA?

Laura: Resources manufacturing distribution. Lifespan of the product, disposal of the product. That's five. Maybe it's not distribution.

Ron: Yeah, give me four. What are your four?

Laura: Okay, my four are going to be resource collection, manufacturing life, sort of style of the product, and then disposal of the product.

Ron: Those are the four? Yes. Very nice. Very, very nice, actually.

Laura, can you compare a plastic bag and a paper bag across four stages

Okay, Laura, now can you please compare a plastic bag and a paper bag across these four stages?

Laura: So a, uh, carrier bag needs paper, which is either virgin wood, probably not good, or you could use recycled wood. Um, plastic needs oil extraction. Um, in some way, oil offshoots. It's cheaper, though, to make plastic bags than it is to make paper bags. Um, paper bags don't last as long as plastic bags, though, they say. But I question that. But I won't be allowed to say that in an exam. And then the paper bag biodegrades and the plastic bag does not.

Ron: Yes. Another four marks.

Laura: I'm smashing it.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Real world science is so much better than like, highfalutin. Doesn't matter. Science.

Ron: Mmm.

Laura: Mhm.

You've come up with an innovative way to push flyers through letterboxes

Ron: Do you want to tell everyone about your new invention?

Laura: Can do. So I was delivering flyers for the green party the other day and it was hurting my hand, pushing them through letter boxes, and I got a bruise on the back of my hand and it started to hurt the skin. And I invented like, uh, an a four plastic. Like a, uh, clipboard type thing with a little holder. And you would put the paper on that, push it through, and then using a little clippy handle would let go of the piece of paper and it would be in the house without you having to put it in the house.

Ron: Cause you haven't built it yet.

Laura: No, not yet. I've just invented it in my head. Like Michelangelo's helicopter.

Ron: So you can't. Right.

Laura: Da Vinci's helicopter. Whose helicopter? Da Vinci.

Ron: So you've come up with the idea, but you haven't invented it yet?

Laura: No, not yet.

Ron: Okay, right.

Laura: Well, I have invented it. I think the idea is the invention.

Ron: No, but you have to pull it off. Cause, like, I could invent a dog that wears speedos.

Laura: So da Vinci didn't invent a helicopter then?

Ron: No. Well, I think he at least worked out that it would work.

Laura: Yeah, well, so would my thing. I've worked.

Ron: Well, you don't know that it would work.

Laura: I do know. How could it not work? It's so fucking simple.

Ron: Because, like, so you've got a clipboard.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. And then the paper's just gonna flop off of it. And you can't get that in.

Laura: Um, yes, you can, because it'll be clipped and it'd be going in that direction.

Ron: Clipped at the top.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. So it's gonna flop down.

Laura: Yeah. But that's okay because then when it goes through, it's, like flopping down in my hand anyway.

Ron: So you're gonna shove this, like, far into someone's house?

Laura: Yeah. Well, you'd only have to get it so that the paper flopped on the other side.

Ron: Yeah. That's two a four's worth into the house.

Laura: No, that's one. A four's worth two because.

Ron: Because it's going to be flopped back. So you're going to have to push until the flop.

Laura: Flip on the other side, you fucking idiot.

Ron: Well, you didn't say that. Then why is it flopping if it's clipped at both sides?

Laura: It would flop that way. But then as you pushed it in, it would go in and then flop on the other side. And then you drop it down.

Ron: That does work better.

Laura: Yes. That's what I invented.

Ron: It seems like it'll be slow.

Laura: It was slow anyway, because you had to mush your hands through all of that, like, stuff. And my hand felt dirty by the end. If I did it again or became a postman, I'd wear gloves.

Ron: Uh, but maybe that should be your invention.

Laura: Or gloves.

Ron: Gloves.

Laura: But I was hot.

Ron: What about gloves that are just on the back?

Laura: Because also, if you. If you took this invention to the next level, say, you could maybe invent a more complicated one where you put all your leaflets into this device and then it, like, shunts the next one down.

Ron: That's what you need.

Laura: And then you release that one poo poom out. Release that one poo poom.

Ron: Because I think you'd be on the street, and then you'd be, like, trying to clip it in. And I think eventually you just be like, ah. And you start thinking, but if it was just then.

Laura: Pretty cool invention.

Ron: Yeah. What about sideways?

Laura: Sideways what?

Ron: Letterboxes.

Laura: It would just, uh, work the same. It'd be fine. Because also, if it was on a stick, then once the like block was through, you'd swizzle it or whatever. You know, do it.

Ron: Sure.

Laura: And you could hit mean dogs. I would never hit a dog, but they barked at me a lot.

When are you buying a house? Uh, soon, hopefully

Ron: Anyway, whoops for what's under here. Puzzles.

Laura: Yeah, some puzzles, some books.

Ron: Mhm.

Laura: Um, maybe some buttons.

Ron: No, the buttons are here.

Laura: No, there is a box of knitting buttons. Uh, a laptop box.

Ron: Here's just two loose buttons in a bag.

Laura: A copy of my book. A copy of, I think, a book of yours called Secret Brighton. I don't think you wanted it when you left. Thanks for that book one.

Ron: Uh, well, you live in Brighton, you could know all the things.

Laura: Well, maybe I would, but it was just up in the roof where you put your bags of shite.

Ron: I didn't take them up to the roof. I left that for you to see.

Laura: I'm just gonna start leaving stuff at your house.

Ron: You never come to my house.

Laura: No. When are you buying a house?

Ron: Uh, soon, hopefully. Times are ticking.

Laura: What do you mean, times are ticking?

Ron: To buy a house?

Laura: Yeah, the market's gone flat. Yeah, but actually, don't you want to wait for it to crash and then buy one? You don't want to buy it now while they're all expensive.

Ron: Yeah, but who knows how long I'll be living in the UK.

Laura: Don't, um, leave the UK again. It's so annoying when you leave the.

Ron: UK anyway for eight months.

What are the four stages of cleaning poo out of water

What are the four stages of cleaning poo out of water? What do the four stages do?

Laura: Too many. Stop fiddling.

Ron: You're fiddling too.

Laura: Quiet things, though. Absolutely no one knows what I'm fiddling with because it's quiet.

Ron: Look at this big spot I've got on my leg.

Laura: Uh, that's massive.

Ron: But it's completely flat. It's just red.

Laura: Is that a bite? I think you've been bitten.

Ron: I don't think so.

Laura: Could be an ingrown hair.

Ron: Yeah, I think it's an ingrown hair.

Laura: Dig it with something unclean.

Ron: Oh, I will probably while during a work meeting. And I'll be really distracted.

Laura: Um, so there was like sifting the poo. Putting a chemical in the poo. Sifting the poo again, eight stages.

Ron: No, I said for eight marks. What are the forced it and what do they do?

Laura: So there's a big sift. First of all, there's a big sift. Uh, and then there was.

Ron: What is the big sift?

Laura: It gets out big lumps of nook.

Ron: And.

Laura: And, um. Toilet paper and crud grit.

Ron: Birds.

Laura: Birds have died. Oh, my God. Have you seen the bird imprint on our kitchen window?

Ron: No.

Laura: It's majestic. A bird flew. I'll show you when we go downstairs. But a bird flew into our window and it's propagate its wings like this. There's an eye mark. You can see that. I think it's a Magpie. It's amazing.

Ron: That's cool.

Laura: Oh, I made tea.

Ron: It's over there.

Laura: I'm gonna drink that. Um, so, big sift. Get the grit out. Then it's like they put an enzyme in it. I think that eats up stuff. And then they swirl it round and. And then they do another grit sift. Remember there were two sifts because we were like, you've just done this. Why are you doing it again? But it definitely swirls around in a big silo that can be seen from training. I remember you loved shit spotting on trains. Eight marks. Well done, me.

Ron: Two marks. There's a sift. There's a screening and grit removal process. Then there's sedimentation. Then there's anaerobic digestion of sewage sludge.

Laura: You said that.

Ron: No, you didn't.

Laura: I did. I said they put an enzyme in.

Ron: There, which isn't what that is.

Laura: But you know that. That's the bit I was referring to.

Ron: Yeah, but you have to say the right thing. Um, and then there's aerobic biological treatment of ethylene. There is only one screening.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: Uh, it's over.

Is it weird to keep teeth? Yeah. I don't think it's weird

Laura: So did you enjoy the quiz, everyone? It's the outro now. We're on.

Ron: Yeah, this is weird. Is it weird to keep teeth?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Glad, uh, you agree.

Laura: I don't think it's weird to keep teeth.

Ron: Then why did you just say yeah?

Laura: Because we talked about it in this episode.

Ron: Yeah, but why did you.

Laura: Oh, I thought you were. I was saying. Yeah, that's in my notes to discuss how do other people feel about keeping their pets. Children's teeth.

Ron: It's weird.

Laura: Yeah, but I bet the listeners will agree with me.

Ron: Yeah, listeners are weird.

Laura: Yeah, I love them.

Ron: You shouldn't be doing that.

Laura: Yeah, I think it's normal. Has anybody else kept their pet's teeth? New t shirt you're wearing.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: In this t shirt before it is.

Ron: And a new shirt.

Laura: Uh oh. Hi, baby. The shirt's more in your wheelhouse, though, whereas the t shirt. That's quite a new look for you.

Ron: Yeah, I decided not just black t shirts now.

Laura: Oh. Um. Now that you're out of your morning.

Ron: Phase, I know I was in. I was wearing the black t shirts for years. Hello.

Laura: Did you have fun at nursery? Yeah. What did you play with today? Mum? Yeah, it's a baby. No, you are upstairs now, aren't you? Oh, okay. Hold Uncle Ron's hand. Be careful. You gonna say something on the podcast? Mama? Guitar.

Ron: Mama. Oh, that is a guitar.

Laura: That's grandpa's guitar.

Ron: It's not in tune.

Laura: Wow, you are covered in muck. Is that your lunch?

Ron: Whatever.

Laura: Your shorts. I think it's paint. Oh, it's your fire station. Are you gonna take it downstairs and show it to daddy? No, you need to go downstairs. It's time for a rest. You can take the fire station with you and then go with Addy. All right, my love. Hello, you. Hey, Mama. I'm doing a podcast with Uncle Ron. No, you can come back up later. Okay. Say, bye, Mama. Love you, Mama. Bye, Mama. Bye.

Ron: Love you. Bye, Uncle Ron.

Laura: Love you. Bye, love. Bye, Mama.

Ron: Bye.

Laura: Um, run. Bye, love.

Ron: Bye.

Laura: I love that she calls you run.

Ron: I guess this is its mama and.

Laura: Dad and Ron, but she really specifically calls him dad.

Ron: Yeah, it's run run.

Laura: Because I first, before it was Ro, she didn't say the n at all. And now she's really over pronouncing it Ro, and now it's run run. So there. I don't know how much of that will stay in, but basically we just got invaded by the small child.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Um.

Ron: Um.

Laura: It's a big thank you to Eric. Oh, I've got to read it.

If you support us, you help pay for all the software costs

Okay. Uh, Eric is a Lex education international man of mystery. What's in this episode? We don't know. We'll never know. Well, Laura will when she finishes editing it, but Ronnie may never hear this episode. That's odd, isn't it, that it's just out there, unknown and alive in the ethos. Eric likes to wear a question mark suit and has a tall perm and sandals. He enjoys. Don't laugh. You shake in the laptop. He enjoys holidays in the ardennes. Ardennes?

Ron: Ardennes?

Laura: Ardennes. And salsa music. But not salsa on his nachos. Only sour cream on Eric's nachos. That's too creamy, Eric. Thank you. Eric, if you would like a personalised thank you and access to our discord. And, um, access to all of our bonus episodes.

Ron: Yeah, the content is the main thing.

Laura: Quit getting there, you fucking chode. Um, loads and loads of extra episodes. I was gonna say spare episodes, then that's not what it is. But bonus episodes, including the one that's just gone out last Friday, which is, uh, an exploration into a new story about chernobyl mutant wolves that you may have seen a couple of months ago. Uh, we finally got around to talking about that. That's out. You can get our, uh, um, fiction writing, which actually the next episode will be as well, our short stories about the boy. And see, um, there's so much fun bonus content there. And, uh, you help us to, uh, pay for all the software costs, the captioning stuff, the hosting, all of that stuff. And, um, you know, we put five or 6 hours a week into this, really, with a lot of editing. And sometimes it feels like we should not be doing that and we should be doing more worthwhile things. But the closer it becomes to being a functional business, the easier it is to justify the time we spend on it. So if you can support us, do it.

Ron: Nice pitch.

Laura: Thanks, mate.

Ron: What should I mark that one down on the spreadsheet?

Laura: Um.

Ron: Earnest.

Laura: Earnest. Earnest and reasonable.

Ron: Right. Okay, earnest.

Laura: Uh, and reasonable. And we'll see how many people that starting spreadsheet now.

Ron: Uh, not in that. Ah. Not in episode 104 folder. That would be madness.

Laura: That would be crazy. Okay, well, listen, uh, listeners. Listen. Lab rats. Um, we'll see you next week. Wait, so it's only biology that we still got going as norms?

Ron: No more quizzes for two thirds.

Laura: Yeah, Ron said. Class dismissed.

Ron: Hang on. So if you want to reward earnest and reasonable, please sign up now. Class dismissed.