I Never Went To Candle School

 Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education, the comedy science podcast, where comedian me, Laura Lex, tries to learn science from her nerdy younger brother, Ronnie. It's a boat episode. Well, it's a boat intro and outro. It's also a solo intro and outro because Ron has toddled off to Portugal, leaving me manning the ship quite literally. I mean, I'm not in charge of, uh, any part of the ship. Um, agony dad is in charge of the boat. Uh, you might have seen his picture on Instagram recently with Dog, um, of the podcast and grand Dog of the podcast. What convoluted term, um, do we give to Toby, uh, agony dad's dog? Don't know.

Anyway, I am here at Bristol harbourfest, um, just on a jolly. I'm not working it, but shout out. I've had a lovely time. Um, and Ron and I did have big plans to record yesterday. We were going to record this intro, outro, and, uh, put together the next Patreon episode for the, I think is due out before he gets back from holiday. But, uh, it was simply too noisy, it turns out, where we've got the boat, we're right in the middle of everything. Um, and there's the amphitheatre stage that played some very, very good music and some absolute noises all day yesterday. And we're right on the water part. So yesterday there were rNLI demonstrations. There was a man doing that thing where, like, jets of water come out your feet and you could do flips and stuff on the water. Um, there was a steam boat procession and cardboard boat races. There was all sorts going on and an incredibly loud loudspeaker. That makes sense, doesn't it? It's a loud speaker. It's gonna be loud. Be a bit broken if it weren't. Um, so we just. We couldn't record. We couldn't get it done. So I am here at the crack of dawn before everything starts. You might hear the delicate footsteps of child or the podcast running around the boat or screaming for her grandfather's attention. You might hear two dogs. Um, Mackie is learning to be a boat dog. Quite exciting. And I'm really hoping this isn't the first late episode. I'm hoping I can go and find somewhere in Bristol that has enough wi fi that I can upload this later. Um, but I'm so sorry if this is the very first episode that has not gone out. That would be so sad, wouldn't it, after a two year streak. I'm so proud of this podcast being so reliable. But I will do my best. I will be wandering the streets of Bristol later looking for somewhere with wi fi. Um, but for now, it's a biology episode. Um, and, um, I think you're gonna have a lovely time with it. I think it's a pretty nice one. I don't recall many big arguments today. Um, notes up top, as ever. Have you got tickets from a tour show yet? Have you? I'm sure you have. You're the best one. I think you probably bought them on day one. And are, uh, you coming to cheerful earful? We haven't checked ticket sales, so we don't know. You might have all bought them. You might have none of you bought them. We're quite chill about it this year because we just know that we're going to have a lovely time. So that's so. I mean, come or don't come, you know. You know how it is, babes. There's no pressure, is there? Not from us. Here's any pressure to love us. You don't actually have to show us that love in any way except constant feedback. Um, do I have any other notes? I don't think so. Does one of you want to shout out, let me know? Well, you can't let me know before the outro, but maybe I'll make up some or something. Um, become a patron. That would be really good, wouldn't it, for you? Not so much for us. I mean, we like it, but mainly you get cool stuff. You get two extra episodes of Lex education every month on a fantastic different subject. And you get access to the discord, which is the funnest, loveliest community of chatty people. Uh, what else do you get? I think that's it. Oh, some of the patrons we do as videos, depending on whether the technology has failed us or not. So you can watch us be stupid. So that's lots and lots of fun. Oh, here come the dainty footsteps. I don't know how a child can weigh so little and sound so heavy when she's walking over your head, but she manages it anyway.

I think I've got less to talk about without Ron here

I think I've got less to talk about without Ron here. What would I tell him about? I'd tell him how cold I was on the train on Friday night. Did a gig down in Taunton. And it was blazing hot on Friday, wouldn't it? It was so hot. Well, it was down in the west country anyway. Muggy, proper hot. And, uh, so I left my jeans and my performing jacket with my mother of. Of the podcast, and I got the train back up to Bristol and then sitting on the train, the air conditioning was so wildly cold that

00:05:00

I was. I was just so sadly cold that I thought, how can. How is there not a happy medium here? I don't understand how there isn't an in between. It's boiling outside. You've set this air conditioning to packed train at rush hour. It's 1030 at night and there's six of us on it. You can moderate the setting, surely. But then I'd probably say to Ron, one of my favourite things about being on a train is the way the staff are always insistent that you get your money back if the train is late. I kind of enjoy that anarchy that they want the trains to run well and they want you to have a good time. But then the second it's late, they're like, guys, get your money back. We work for absolute bastards and they don't deserve your cash. Get your money back. And I love how much they tell you you can get your money back. So shout out to you if you work on a train. I think Bunsen's husband works on a train. Well, not Bunsen, Carol, I suppose. Carol, are you Bunsen? Bunsen. Are you Carol? I don't know. I love that our, um, listenership is so friendly that I know the professions of your spouses. That's a pretty cool state for a podcast to be in. So go forth, listen to this episode. I think it's the penultimate biology. I think there's probably only one more lesson and then it's exam season, big boy. So you go forth, multiply as listen. Listeners don't have. I mean, it'd be kind of incredible if someone gave birth whilst listening to Lex education. What a welcome to the world. This is idiocy. Enjoy a lifetime of it. But, uh, we don't normally say anything to it. It's just a school where I reached a level of can't cope with the outside world where even at a national trust place on Friday, I had to wear my noise cancelling headphones around the place because I was just like, I can't read the signs about the stuff.

Ron: So fair.

Laura: Uh, just, I can't stay concentrated on something when something else is happening in the background.

Ron: Yeah, that's fair. People are also nightmares.

Laura: Yeah. I mean, a national Trust place, they tend to be like reserved nightmares.

Ron: Yeah, I don't know. I've seen how the sausage is made at national, uh, trust properties and. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.

Laura: Hmm. M. It was a cool place, though. I went to Kingston Lacey. I'm just down in Dorset.

Ron: Kingston to Lacey.

Laura: Geosepecac. Um, and it's like this.

Ron: Are we recording or are we just chatting?

Laura: Oh, uh, we're recording, actually. Um, it's this cool place where, uh, you know, it's owned by barons. Anyway, and then one of the dudes in the 1841 was arrested for homosexuality and so exiled himself to Italy and then just spent the rest of his life, like, collecting stuff that would make a really cool house and sending it back to his sister at Kingston Lacey. And, um, it was fun that they were celebrating LGBTQ stories. I was like, yeah, great, they did exist. See, idiots, like, this kind of stuff happened. But also, I was like, what a great life being that sister, just living at this mansion and having fab stuff sent by your gay brother. I was like, yeah, you never sent me any cool shit from Brussels.

Ron: No, I'm not gay.

Laura: Yeah, but you could have sent me, like, cool straight stuff, like weights and protein powder.

Ron: Yeah, I guess. Next time, right?

Laura: No, you're not moving back, Ron.

Ron: Um. God, I was hanging out with mum and dad yesterday.

Laura: Why?

Ron: Well, they invited me to the Cardiff food festival.

Laura: Oh. Yeah.

Ron: I thought it'd be a nice way to see them without having to go to Taunton or as a plus. Um, but then the seven tunnel was closed, so couldn't get the train there, so I was like, why don't you come for dinner tomorrow? Easy. Don't have to go anywhere in eat out. Um, then they showed up at 01:00 p.m. oh. So I was like, cool, I guess we'll get some lunch. There's a new dim sum place, or there's a really nice falafel place. Everywhere else will probably be doing roasts, and I don't want one of those. And they said, no, we're not hungry. We had a big breakfast, and then I was like, oh, so what do you want to do? And they were like, we don't know. You're in charge. And, uh. Oh, okay.

Laura: You should have just sat and played Minecraft where they sat on your bed and watched.

We just kind of wandered. It was a nice day in the end. Yeah, um, it was. Sadness lied. Couple of

Ron: We just kind of wandered. Yeah, um, it was. It was a nice day in the end. Couple of clangers.

Laura: Sadness lied. Barb. Um, well, that's enough ranting about our mother, because I'll probably edit quite a lot of that out. Yeah, it's not fun for anybody.

00:10:00

Ron: I'm excited for the next book club book, Laura

Ron: Um, well, I'm excited for the next book club book, Laura.

Laura: Well, you haven't finished the first one yet.

Ron: No, and I won't.

Laura: Ron. It's really good.

Ron: You didn't read it either.

Laura: I've listened to it twice. That's like reading it once.

Ron: No.

Laura: Yes. Why don't you get the audible and listen to it?

Ron: Because I don't enjoy it at all. I get nothing from it.

Laura: But you've only read, like, ten pages.

Ron: I've read a hundred pages.

Laura: Fuck. Does it take a hundred pages just to get to where you are?

Ron: Yes. Fuck. All happens in this book.

Laura: No, loads happens in the book. My argument were we to do a book club chat about it would be that too much happens.

Ron: I just. It just. I just don't think it's interesting.

Laura: But then I don't know if you like books, Ron.

Ron: No, because it's just a nice story about a man building a cathedral.

Laura: It's not a nice story. It's a horrible story about the evils of the world and how good prevails.

Ron: Where are the layers?

Laura: You didn't read far enough. You've only read half a layer. You can't expect the entire breadth of an absolute epic saga spanning 60 years to fit into the first hundred pages.

Ron: I think I can expect to enjoy a book in a hundred pages if I'm going to finish the other 900 pages, and I don't think that's unreasonable.

Laura: I think you're trying not to enjoy it because you're scared by the size of it.

Ron: No. That's what she said. No.

Laura: I'm very worried. I've just woken up child of the podcast yelling at you. Please have been a seagull. Okay, Ron, I have to stay calm for the rest of the episode because child of the podcast is exhausted, and if I wake her up from her nap, it might be the end of my marriage.

Ron: But, yeah, really looking forward to the next book. I've also started reading salt fat, uh, acid heat, which I think would be great patreon content for us. Cookery lessons.

Laura: Yeah, we did a cook along with Ron, didn't we?

Ron: Yeah. But I mean, just more traditional, easier, less to clean up afterwards.

Laura: Yeah, Tom cleaned it up. It was all right.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I was, um, thinking about what we could do for a fun patreon episode earlier when I was walking the dog, um, and I was thinking, next time you're here, we should do a video episode of me teaching you how to knit. I think you would find it fiddly and annoying.

Ron: Yeah, I've never done much, um. No, I've never knitted before. I've done scoobies.

Laura: What, those little plastic things that you.

Ron: Yeah, that's kind of like knitting.

Laura: I think it could be a fun video, and then we should finally do that video of you teaching me how to play guitar.

Ron: Yeah, I think you'll hate that.

Laura: Uh, child of the podcast spent the whole party yesterday walking around carrying a pink ukulele.

Ron: She's cute.

Laura: She knew how to hold it properly though, to like play it.

Ron: She knows what a guitar is.

Laura: Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't call it a ukulele, she would only call it a guitar.

Ron: That's fair.

Laura: She's gonna get one for her birthday.

Ron: Yeah, I need to work out why I want to get her for her birthday. Because I was gonna get one of those and then I was looking into getting her an air dancer for ages.

Laura: It's an air dance. Oh, like those wiggly arm guys. Yeah.

Ron: Yeah, that was like 200 quid and I'm still debating it. That's quite because. So what I'm think considering doing is getting her one of those and then it being her birthday Christmas present this year.

Laura: Can you also.

Ron: I just.

Laura: What room?

Ron: Oh, like a full size one?

Laura: No, Ron.

Ron: No, no, for the outside, like in the garden, Laura.

Laura: Be that house on the street, Ron.

Ron: Why not? But the thing is, Laura, I've looked into this, right? Once you have like most of it, then you can just get different men for it, like. So, like Laura, imagine being that house at Christmas with like a Santa just waving around in the garden.

Laura: Yeah, okay, that would be pretty cool. But I do try to keep where I live relatively secret. And people know I live in Brighton, and if I suddenly have like a 20 foot wiggling man in the front garden, every listener to the podcast will know where I live.

Ron: Well, I'll think of something else then.

Laura: Um, can you just find a mini one?

Ron: Ah, they looked shit though. Uh, there are loads of mini ones that don't cost hundreds of pounds.

Laura: Fine than a massive one. It is.

Tom finally got around to giving dad his father's day present today

It's the only option. It's all we can do. I finally gave promise we'll have people turning up all the time. Like which, uh, cars for sale.

Ron: You're gonna say, sorry, something. You bought something. Something what, Tom? What?

Laura: I said, I finally only got around to giving him his father's day present today.

00:15:00

Laura: Only a month late. I think I've got ADHD.

Ron: What did you get him?

Laura: A poem. This is a little bit wanky sounding, but a poem that a friend of his wrote him when we got married. And it's really lovely poem all about how Tom kind of gave him his first home, um, because they live together at uni and it's really beautiful and I don't really like poetry, but I did like this. So I got it framed and printed. Nice for him.

Ron: It's very cute.

Laura: Yeah. It's just annoying me because I had the idea months ago and I sorted out months ago and then just didn't finish it.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And I hate it when my brain does that. Just doesn't do the last bit needed.

We're on our last module of biology. Are we getting near the end of the syllabus

Do, uh, you want to do some biology, Rob?

Ron: Yeah. Right.

Laura: Are we getting near the end of the syllabus?

Ron: We're on our last module of biology. Not last episode. I think we'll probably be here for, uh, two or three. Yeah, last module.

Where does the energy in ecosystems come from? The sun

Um, 4.7. Laura. Four point bloody seven.

Laura: 4.74.7. .1 spectacles in the banana kingdom.

Ron: 4.7. Ecology. Do you know what this word means?

Laura: Um, the health of life.

Ron: It's actually not terrible a description.

Laura: Okay, good.

Ron: Well, ology obviously means it's the study, so it's kind of the study of the health of life in some ways, to use the phrasing you've come up with there. Essentially it's the study of ecosystem.

Laura: Uh, and an ecosystem is the health of life.

Ron: No, that's not true. But by studying ecosystems, we can see how healthy life is. Where does the energy, uh, in ecosystems come from?

Laura: The sun.

Ron: Absolutely. All ecosystems.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Really? Are there any places that you can think of where the sun isn't?

Laura: Yes, but often the energy that's down there is things that have got their energy from the sun and then decomposed and taken their energy down there.

Ron: What, where do you mean when you say down there?

Laura: I'm m thinking like deep down in the bottom of the sea.

Ron: Yep. So a lot of the energy that gets to the bottom of the sea will be things like whale fall or what they call abyssal snow, which is just detritus that falls. But that's all of that energy has come from the sun. Are there any ecosystems down there that, um, there are ecosystems down there that don't, uh, is what I'm getting to.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: You know the sulphur vents?

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: So some of those will be, um. They'll get their energy from the chemicals coming out of the vents. Some people think that that is how life began to.

Laura: They are wrong.

Ron: So let's, let's bring it back, um, to the sun. I don't really know. I went down that, uh, tangent.

Laura: You just like to confuse me.

Ron: What happens after the sun? Where does that, where does the energy then go?

Laura: Um, into heat and light energy which is often absorbed by plant matter, always. Or lizards.

Ron: So that's kind of the thing about plants. They have what in a plant allows them to take that, uh, energy from.

Laura: Hang on, it's not always straight to plants. They're wrong. Because think about cold blooded animals that sunbathe. They're getting sun energy without it going through a plant.

Ron: But that energy is not entering the ecosystem, isn't it?

Laura: Because it's going into the lizard.

Ron: Yep. And then just getting radiated back out the lizard, it's staying as heat energy the whole time. They're not taking that energy and converting it into biomass.

Laura: Hmm. Okay.

Ron: It helps them conserve the other energy that they get, but that specific energy doesn't come in.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: So what inside a plant allows them to take that?

Laura: Chlorophyll in chloroplasts.

Ron: Absolutely. And what's that process called?

Laura: Um, photosynthesis.

Ron: 100% photo light. Synthesis.

Laura: Synthesis.

Ron: M. What does, what are the, um, what's the products of photosynthesis, Laura?

Laura: Car. Oxygen.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Water. Sugar. Oxygen and sugar.

Ron: Sugar, yes, absolutely.

Martin was told by his other half that burning a candle produces water

Oh, shit. That candle thing. Now, now I think is a good time.

Laura: Oh, yeah. Who was it?

Ron: H. Martin.

Laura: Hello.

Ron: H. Martin says, dear lex education, does Ron take science explanation requests? I've just been told by my other half that burning a candle produces water, and I can't comprehend a world where that is actually true. How can a hot thing produce a wet thing? Well, I can show you that each month.

Laura: I can show you too, but only on my onlyfans.

Ron: That's why I was saying, uh, don't just do my joke.

Laura: Sorry.

Ron: Um, and that wet thing not get immediately dried up by that hot thing. I can show you that too. He doesn't listen to the podcast, so I'm nearly 100% sure it's not a tricko, but it sounds like the science of mediaeval times. Well, H. Martin, I push back to you that you sound like the science of mediaeval times, because water.

Laura: H. Martin, I'm sorry. He's bullying you. I'm sorry. Please keep listening even though you are currently being bullied.

Ron: Um, water is not the opposite of fire water, H. Martin.

Laura: It is. Who wants to be in a club with me and age? Martin.

Ron: Water is just a, ah, molecule, and it can be hot like any other molecule. Um, Laura, what are candles made out of?

Laura: Wicks. Wax.

Ron: Did you really? Yes. Hydrocarbons, probably, if you went for wicks first. Uh, that was fucking meant.

Laura: That's the bit that burns.

Ron: No, it's not.

Laura: Isn't it?

Ron: The wick? It wicks. It wicks up the, uh, the fuel.

Laura: What fuel?

Ron: The wax.

Laura: I thought the earx was just there to protect the wick, stop it burning too quickly because you can just buy a wick and light that. Vaughn's taking his headphones off. He's got his head in his hands. That's his nose noises you can hear there. Sounds like his computer's overheating. But actually it's his patients. I don't think I'm being thick here though. I never went to candle school.

Ron: Do you not know how candles.

Laura: Yeah, I fucking know how candles work, mate, but normal.

Ron: No, you don't. It's not a piece of string on fire.

Laura: Yes it is. No it's not, because you can have a wick and just light the wick without there being a candle on it. It still works.

Ron: No you can't.

Laura: I'm sure you can.

Ron: No, like it won't just burn for that long.

Laura: No, the wicks protects the it.

Ron: No, like, you know, like when like you buy sports clothing, it says that it wicks away the sweat from your body. Wick away? Yeah, yeah, wicking is a verb. It means it like draws it up so the heat of the flame melts the wax that is then sucked up the wick and then the wax is what's burning.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: Wax is a hydrocarbon. It's like a, you know, in the same family of molecules as petrol and diesel and propane and butane and things like this. It's just hugely long hydrocarbons. So it's a solid, but it melts very easily when a candle's near it and then it gets sucked up the wick and that's what's burning. It's not just a string propped up by melty stuff. And it's really insane to me that you thought that, uh.

Laura: Why Ron? I don't. Why is that insane?

Ron: Because I think children understand how candles.

Laura: Only if someone's told them how a fucking candle works.

Ron: I think you just look at it and it's kind of apparent.

Laura: You can see wax hurrying up the wick. Can you?

Ron: Well it melts and then you can see that there's a pool of it and that's burning. Or like when you have like an oil thing with a wick going into it.

Laura: Oh, I knew that's how those worked. But wax is a solid.

Ron: Not when it melts.

Laura: Yeah, but not melting. Oh, uh, just move on. This isn't even part of it. I don't want to feel sick about things that aren't even important. I just did not eat enough biscuits for this. Anywho, not any.

Ron: So it's a hydrocarbon, when things burn, it's basically just a reaction with oxygen. So you've got ch's coming from the hydrocarbon.

Laura: I'm quite now, h. Martin, this is your fault. I'm getting this telling off.

H. Martin: Hydrogens and carbons coming from the hydrocarbon

Ron: Yeah. You guys need to go to candle school together.

00:25:00

Ron: Um, uh, yeah, you've got the hydrocarbon that's got hydrogens and carbons.

Laura: We rolled up beeswax around a wick.

Ron: You didn't just try and light the string on its own.

Laura: It would have lit though. Actually.

Ron: Um, yeah, hydrogens and carbons coming from the hydrocarbon, oxygen coming from the air. One of the products is going to be CO2, that uses up the carbon and the oxygen, and then you have more oxygen, but you still got those hydrogens. So then that's going to make water. Not in the sense that it's going to be dripping out the candle, just in the sense of water vapour, gaseous water produced.

Laura: There you go, H. Martin, I hope you're happy now. Thanks very much. Thanks for getting involved.

Laura says she thinks both columns and rows go across horizontally

Ron: Here's the other thing that I wanted to talk to you about, Laura. Do you remember the, uh, columns, rows and columns discussions that we were having?

Laura: Mhm.

Ron: So I mentioned this to friends of the podcast, including sports correspondent Max and his beautiful new bride Amelia. Um, as hey, listen to this dumbass fucking thing that Laura said. And then Amelia said, oh no, that's exactly how I think about columns as well.

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

Ron: And then she went one further and said, I actually kind of think that both columns and rows go from left to right, so she's slightly different to you. And then she sent me a voice message this morning I actually still need to reply to.

Laura: Um, so I'm making a table at work. I was thinking about the columns being horizontal or vertical thing, and, um, I've realised why I think that both columns and rows go across horizontally. Um, and um, the way I think of it is that columns are like tall and they go across horizontally and then rows are like really short and stubby and they also go across horizontally, if that makes sense.

Ron: No it doesn't, Amelia. But I just wanted to show you, Laura, that some people are in your daft logic school as well.

Laura: No, you, you are the one being a meathead about this.

Ron: What are you rummaging in? Why did you just then instantly just really stick it in your mouth?

Laura: This is the pen. I like chewing my pens.

Ron: Okay, cool. 4.7.1. Laura. Adaptations, interdependence and competition.

Laura: Sounds like evolution to me.

Ron: Uh, it factors in four, seven, 1.1, communities. Now, Laura, we've just described how energy gets from the sun and into the ecosystem. We've said that that happens by plants. Plants and algae, which are the things that photosynthesize. Okay.

Laura: Yep.

Ron: These are what we call is algae.

Laura: Not a plant, I think.

Ron: Not technically. No, it is.

Laura: Uh.

Ron: Anyway, there are different levels in an ecosystem, Laura.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Plants and algae are what we call producers.

Laura: They should seize their means.

Ron: They've got it on lockdown, to be honest. They're fine.

Laura: Yeah, we've got producers today. Would this cause any fuck ups in the world? I'm a bit sad this year because for the last, like, six or so years, I've had sunflowers in my garden and I've always been able to take the sunflower heads off my previous sunflowers and make new sunflowers out of them. And I did that again this year. But then this year it was so wet, early doors in the spring, that every single one of my sunflowers got eaten by slugs and snails. So I don't have any sunflowers and then that means I can't have any next year because I don't have any seeds. So I was thinking, I would say when I do my tour in the autumn, everyone could bring some seeds from their garden and we could do a little seed swap. Would that fuck up any ecosystems?

Ron: Um, probably not. They're all from the UK.

Laura: Same as going to a garden centre, isn't it? Yeah, but don't you think that would be nice? If you just. Any seeds you've got in your garden that you don't think you're going to use, bring them and you could swap them with somebody else.

Ron: I'd say if you're worried about it, get people to tell you what type of seeds they are and then you can look it up beforehand.

00:30:00

Laura: Yeah, okay.

Ron: That's a lovely idea there, Laura.

Laura: Yeah. Uh, I can take them some of my sweet pea seeds and things.

Ron: That's going to increase the biodiversity of your garden.

Laura: I hope so. And, um, I really want some more colour hollyhocks and I can take my hollyhocks.

Ron: What a lovely little Percy the park keeper life you live.

Laura: Everybody will be able to come and admire my flowers and they'll say, it's a shame about the big waving man in the middle. It's somewhat ruining the country cottage garden effect that Laura's going for. The generator, pumping out air into the enormous waving mandehead.

Ron: Good stuff. Uh, so our plants and our algae, Laura, they're our producers. Yes, we then have the next money men, the primary consumers. What type of animals are these?

Laura: Uh, ones that eat small children.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Um, I would imagine they're small herbivores. No, insects, probably. Insects weren't. Maybe. And small herbivores. Plant eaters, maybe. Any herbivores. Maybe they don't even have to be small.

Ron: Yeah, because we're thinking about the way that energy progresses through a system. Because big herbivores don't eat small herbivores.

Laura: No, that's true.

Ron: So the next step after plants is just going to be all herbivores.

Robbie thinks Basco is a great name for a dog

Laura: Did I tell you about my name for my next dog?

Ron: Ronnie? Uh, no.

Laura: I'm gonna call it Tabasco.

Ron: Why?

Laura: I just think it's a great name for a dog.

Ron: Then what's that gonna get shortened to?

Laura: Basco.

Ron: Not Toby?

Laura: No, Basco.

Ron: Basco.

Laura: Yeah, that's a great name for a dog.

Ron: It doesn't go with Mackie though.

Laura: I won't get another dog while Mackie's alive.

Ron: Oh, uh, just planning.

Laura: Mackie and Basco, they could go together. Mackie and Basco sound like a detective.

Ron: Yeah. You don't eat Tabasco and Mackie together, I reckon.

Laura: Tom, would you eat wasabi, though? I don't want a dog called wasabi.

Ron: Sabih.

Laura: So, Robbie.

Ron: What? An earworm? Um, that one line is.

Laura: So, Robbie, any herbivores run.

Ron: Any herbivores? Yes. Then we have our secondary, because I.

Laura: Was thinking herbivore is a funny name. And then it made me think of what my dog's name would be.

Ron: Herbivore. Could be, uh, drag name.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: That'S like. Yeah, to do with vore but also plants.

Laura: Yeah. I reckon my drag name would be Mama Snet and I mustn't. Yeah, like mom's net, it used to.

Ron: Be really far, right?

Laura: Yeah, but, you know, sent up, I'd be a send up of a mum's net. Mum. Mum. A snut.

Ron: Sure. My drag name would be prime consumer. Is that a thing, Mary? Consumer pride.

Laura: I thought you were going down a Credence Clearwater, like a proud Mary thing?

Ron: No.

Laura: Okay, primary consumers. M any herbivores, we're talking deer, we're talking rhinos.

Ron: No, we're onto secondary consumers now.

Laura: Okay. Then we're talking metaphors. What they called carnivores.

Ron: Meat of wars. Yes. Uh, carnivores, as in chilli con carnivores. Um, maybe that would be my drag name. Am I doing it right? No, yass queen.

Laura: You're too straight, mate. That's why my house is shit. Why do you never send me furniture from Islay.

Ron: I'm trying to send you an air dancer. Uh, you're not letting me. Um, what do you think then, Laura? A tertiary consumer is.

Laura: Tertiary means end, doesn't it?

Ron: No, no, it means third.

Laura: Right.

Ron: Primary, secondary, tertiary.

Laura: Maybe just three's enough of everything in my brain. Um, is that something that eats poops?

Ron: No.

Laura: Is that one of these things that eats, like, a dead whale?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Eats decompression.

Ron: Not exclusively, no. Think about the pattern producers. They take energy from the sun. Ignore that. That's just the star of it. Primary consumers eat producers. Secondary consumers eat primary consumers. What do you think tertiary consumers eat?

Laura: Carnivores.

Ron: Secondary consumers.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Yes. Can you think of any tertiary consumers?

Laura: Me?

Ron: Yeah. Well, less so now, but, yeah.

Anything that eats carnivores is dumb. Because humans don't tend to farm them

Anything else?

Laura: Um, um, sharks.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Whales.

Ron: Mammals. All mammals.

Laura: Nope.

Ron: What's a mammal?

Laura: Milkies. Milky hairs.

Ron: Milky hairs, yes. Very good. Anything that eats carnivores. Now, this might seem like, you know, oh, uh, what eats a tiger is probably what you're thinking. Stupid idiot.

Laura: Loads of things maggots do.

Ron: Yeah. But also, you know, things that eat insectivores. So, like, a vole is a voracious predator, eats a lot of m insects. And then if a cat eats a vole, it is being a tertiary consumer.

Laura: Because, actually, humans, we don't eat a lot of carnivores, do we?

Ron: We don't tend to farm them.

Laura: No, the hard farm.

Ron: Why do you think that is?

Laura: Because they have to go and catch things to eat.

Ron: It's a lot that.

Laura: You'd have to find something to feed the thing you were farming.

Ron: Exactly. Which we already do. Which is why eating herbivores is also dumb.

Laura: But, yeah, I don't eat any herbivores.

Ron: No, I do, and they're delicious. Um, yeah. The higher up the food web that you get, the, uh, less efficient it is m interdependence. Laura, everything in an ecosystem depends on everything else. And that is why they're so easy to break.

Laura: Yeah. You can smash em up with one well placed rabbit hammer.

Ron: Exactly. Or, you know, just hundreds of years of, uh, fucking things in a row.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, do we need to do any of that? Oh, seems very obvious. Yeah, we'll skip that.

What does competition do to an ecosystem, Laura? Makes it more efficient

What does competition do to an ecosystem, Laura?

Laura: Makes, um, it more efficient.

Ron: How?

Laura: Um, because you don't have lots of wastage on either side. So, like, if rabbits are competing for some grass, only strong rabbits are going to survive. There won't be enough grass to feed them all. Goodbye, weak rabbits.

Ron: Yep. What about competition? Um, in between different species. So you got rabbits and you've got hares.

Laura: Um, it makes them, um, have to evolve differently to fill different niches. I don't really know what a hare is.

Ron: Big rabbit.

Laura: Are they the same as rabbits, but just big?

Ron: Well, they're different species, but they're in the same family.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Ah.

Laura: And they just do the same stuff.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I've seen one hare.

Ron: It's just kind of like the difference between a moose and a deer.

Laura: I don't really think there is a difference. I say there's a thing, Ron. I just think we could save a lot of time by like buffalo, bison, all that sort of stuff. It's all same big cows, same dear. They're just the same.

Ron: But they're not the same.

Laura: Yeah, but to all intents and purposes they are.

Ron: But literally, no.

Laura: Yeah, no, I don't think we need all the different types of dolphin and seals.

Ron: You don't understand any of these things. It's just quite brash for you to make any of these claims to you. Look at any of these things and just. Yes, sure, they do seem the same to you, but I just don't think you should be sticking your orin.

Laura: Okay, that was me extracting an ore from a deer. Um, from an ear.

Ron: That's a nice sentence.

An ecosystem is the interaction of living organisms with non living parts of environment

An ecosystem is the interaction of a community of living organisms with the non living parts of their environment.

00:40:00

What these are called abiotic factors, Laura. The non living parts of an ecosystem. Four, 7.1.2 abiotic factors. What abiotic factors can you think of that affect a community?

Laura: Decay.

Ron: What does that mean?

Laura: Um, like, things rotting down. That affects community. Like, there's a big problem in the US because everybody, when the leaves fall off the tree, they use leaf blowers to tidy up their gardens. And then they bag up all the leaves, put them in the bin, put them in landfill. And so all of the stuff that ought to be mulching down into the ground gets removed and so it fogs up the ecosystem.

Ron: What's mulching down?

Laura: Decaying and being eaten by other things and then being pooped?

Ron: No, no. What is physically getting mulched?

Laura: Oh, like leaves and biomass, which would be great.

Ron: No, that's not abiotic. That's all very biotic because it's leaves and bacteria mulching them. Uh, so what do you want about abiotic factors?

Laura: Rocks? What is abiotic? The opposite of biology, metals, is the.

Ron: Things, things that aren't alive or that affect a, uh, factor community.

Laura: I don't know, the weather.

Ron: The weather? Yeah. What parts of the weather might affect the living things in a place?

Laura: Um, well, the ability to grow, the producers.

Ron: Light. Yeah. So light would be one, wouldn't it?

Laura: Light.

Ron: Light is an abiotic factor that the things in a community have to interact with.

Laura: I think you should have told me what abiotic meant first.

Ron: I did.

Laura: It, didn't I? Literally said that after I'd guessed. Leaves.

Ron: No, that's not true. Like, two sentences before that. But you were rummaging around in your pen pot looking for something else to shove in your mouth. Wind intensity. That's one. That's, uh, covered by weather. What else? Temperature. That'll be covered by weather as well. Okay, what else, Laura? What else? What else? What else?

Laura: Um, atmospheric makeup.

Ron: Other words, what are you talking about?

Laura: Like, levels of carbon dioxide.

Ron: Carbon dioxide, yes. For plants. Good one, Laura. What else?

How do you describe space without saying it

Laura: Um, space.

Ron: Space. In what context? Um, stars and the moon.

Laura: No, no. Volume of moving about. Examples.

Ron: Volume of moving about. Examples.

Laura: How you describe space without saying it.

Ron: The area around something.

Laura: Yes. Volume of moving about. Example.

Ron: Volume. Moving about. Exam.

Laura: I want to do a podcast with Amelia instead. She'd know what I meant.

Ron: I suggested to Amelia that you guys do a spin off podcast where you teach her. So, not space, but space from what?

Laura: I don't know. Just to be yourself.

Ron: Just being yourself. Examples.

Laura: Just like space to grow. I can't even remember what we're talking about really now.

Ron: Um, abiotic factors.

Laura: Yeah. So, like, habitat, space.

Ron: Space with. From what? Around it.

Laura: Just to be a big plant in or to not be. Because if you need to be a big plant and there isn't enough space, you can't be one, can you?

Ron: But what's gonna take up all of this space?

Laura: A motorway? Just people. This is a very old school, classic leg set.

Ron: Just moving about.

Laura: Example.

00:45:00

Laura: I guess it's not space. No one. What's the answer? Please.

Ron: I just. I don't think that people are counting apart. In fact, it's just where they're on places I don't think anyone's like, well, there's not a jungle here because we're under a hill. There's no space for a jungle here.

Laura: Well, it should be. That's, uh, not wrong, is it?

Ron: I thought you meant, like, oh, there's too many trees, so they don't have enough space.

Laura: That would be a biotic factor, though.

Ron: Yeah. There's a house there, so can't grow a tree. Uh, funny. What else, Laura? What? What else?

Laura: I don't want to get laughed at anymore.

Ron: You're a comedian.

Laura: Yeah, but not today.

Ron: Um. Um. You're a grower of plants.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What do you need to grow? Plants.

Laura: That's not biological.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: A plastic watering can.

Ron: No. In the soil ph and mineral content is what I was getting at. Biological acidity and minerals.

Laura: Yeah. What are minerals?

Ron: Rocks and that.

Laura: They're biological, are they? Aren't they?

Ron: What? What do you think a rock is?

Laura: Sediment and bits of periodic table.

Ron: Yep. Which we covered in chemistry.

Laura: Chemistry. Okay.

Ron: Chemical.

What are the biotic factors that affect a community? Laura?

What are the biotic factors that affect a community? Laura?

Laura: I've said them all as we were trying to get non biotic ones. So just listen back.

Ron: Availability of food, new predators arriving, new pathogens. One species out competing another. So the numbers are no longer sufficient to breed. Um, and then there's a bit here about adaptations, but I think we've kind of done that.

Laura: Uh, can you just go over those bio factors again so I can write them down?

Ron: No, you tell me. What do they need? You can.

Laura: No. Uh, you have to teach it to me before I can do it.

Ron: Oh, you said you'd already done it, so do it again.

Laura: Oh, fuck you. End of the episode.

Ron: Why are you being a. Uh.

Laura: Because I just help me and teach me. And you.

Ron: Me just telling you stuff is not literally.

Laura: Just read it out and you.

Ron: Yeah, because you refuse to engage.

Laura: That's not true.

Ron: But then that is true.

Laura: Second, I wanted to engage.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: So now I want out of reach.

Ron: No, I'm not. I'm trying to help you get there.

Laura: Well, then how do we get there?

Ron: Yeah. Okay, let's talk it through. You start listing stuff and I'll try and guide you there.

Laura: No.

Ron: Uh, what's the like? If you were stuck in the wild, what be the first thing you'd start looking for?

Laura: A phone.

Ron: No, it is you. You don't have a phone.

Laura: No, that's why I'm looking for one, you dickhead.

Ron: No. You're in the wild.

Laura: Yes. Someone's gonna have dropped one.

Ron: You're just gonna start. You're in the middle of the Amazon. You're just gonna start looking for a phone?

Laura: Yep. That'd be sad, though. Cause I don't know anyone's numbers except my own.

Ron: This is. You're now not engaging.

Laura: Um, I'll look for a tree.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Climate.

Ron: Okay. What are you hoping to find in the tree?

Laura: Fewer bugs than are on the ground.

Ron: Okay, so let's say that that is. What are the bugs representing to you? Predators. So predatory predation is a biotic factor.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Bugs might also get you sick.

Laura: Oh, no.

Ron: M so that. So pathogens are also a biotic factor. What else, Laura? What else?

Laura: Water.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: And meat.

Ron: Which is food. Yes, food. Now, Laura, let's say that you've climbed your tree to avoid the bugs and you've found some meat in the tree and you're eating it happily. You wait a few hours. A phone has not been delivered. Um, and then. So you start looking for another tree to climb, to find meat. However, you look across the forest vista that you're on and you see Lucy Porter climbing

00:50:00

Ron: a different tree, eating the meat out of it. What does Lucy Porter represent in this company? No, she's eating the meat in the trees that you want to eat.

Laura: Yeah. Good for her. Well done, Lucy.

Ron: There's not enough meat for both of you.

Laura: I'll just lie there quietly and die. I'm not gonna fight Lucy portray over some tree meat. I think she probably wanted it more if she's found it and I haven't.

Ron: But you also found some. Um.

Laura: Did I?

Ron: Yes.

What does Lucy Porter represent, Laura? Competition, Ron

This. I can't believe you told me off for not engaging.

Laura: I'm engaged.

Ron: What does Lucy Porter represent, Laura?

Laura: Competition, Ron.

Ron: Yes. Ok, thank you. Have you written all of those down now?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Including competition?

Laura: Yes.

Ron: So you wrote it down, but you just weren't saying it?

Laura: No, I wrote it down just now.

Ron: Okay. No, you didn't.

All right, we can end the episode now because now we're at four

All right, we can end the episode now because now we're at four. 7.2. Organiser. Oh, uh, we've actually kind of done some of that. We talked about. Yeah. Producers and that. Yeah, we'll get to there.

Laura: All right. We covered a lot of ground there, Ronnie.

Ron: Good.

Ron m: I'm going to Northampton tonight to watch rugby

Laura: Um, lesson c for the quiz.

Ron: Class dismissed.

Laura: No, uh, you don't say it now, you dweeb. Quiz for me, quiz for you. Quiz for everybody in the room. I'm going to Northampton tonight. Ron m.

Ron: Home of the Northampton Saints.

Laura: Rugby team.

Ron: Rugby team.

Laura: Hello, mate.

Ron: Laura loves her rugby team.

Laura: Yeah, that's one of my new favourite jokes at the moment, actually. In my set, I say, my type of man, you see him across the room and you think, oh, I bet he plays rugby. And then he turns around and you go, oh, I bet he watches rugby.

Ron: That's very good.

Laura: Thanks. Sometimes I have jokes in my set, and that is one of them where I don't think it's as funny as the audience always do, but it gets such a good reaction in the audience. I'm like, okay, guys, have a lovely time with it. You liked it?

Ron: Yeah. Fair.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Got a good chuckle. Out of me.

Laura: Yeah. It's so weird having you in Brussels for a record again, Ron.

Ron: Um, yeah, just like old times.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: The reason why. Yeah, because also we're revising stuff that we did at the beginning of the podcast.

Laura: Yeah. But for the last time, I guess we need to. We need to do the. We're gonna have to do the exam now.

Ron: Yeah.

Ron is moving from Bristol to Brussels via helicopter

What time are you arriving in Bristol at the weekend?

Laura: Ah. Uh, well, here's the thing, Ron. It's exciting. So I am arriving Thursday night. I need you to meet me in a car park and help me get charred of the podcast, dog of the podcast, and all of our stuff from that car park to the boat.

Ron: Okay?

Laura: Then staying overnight that night, staying Friday daytime. Then I am going down to Taunton to do a show on the 19th, leaving charter the podcast with you and father of the podcast. You're having a little family boat night, just the three of you?

Ron: That's Friday.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: And then I am coming back Saturday morning on the train.

Ron: Okay, cool. The most batshit interaction happened yesterday, so I'm helping father of the podcast agony dad sail the boat from Cardiff to Bristol Thursday morning. I'm, um, going there Wednesday evening, so we can just get up and go with the tide. Right?

Laura: Love it.

Ron: I asked him what time we'd be back and if he'd worked out the timings yet, because, um, I need to move house that day. What?

Laura: You're moving house?

Ron: Yeah, I'm moving in with Max and Amelia. How is this.

Laura: How have you not told me this?

Ron: I think I have.

Laura: You haven't. Is this prep for you moving back to fucking Brussels?

Ron: No, there's a lot of admin to do with it, but I'll explain that another time.

Laura: But you did not tell me you were moving house.

Ron: I think you knew.

Laura: I think she knew. I fucking didn't. Replay the tape. Let's listen back to the entirety of Lex education. Have you told me? No.

Ron: Um, we do talk off of this.

Laura: When? When do we talk off of this? Only in text messages, Ron. Read back through all of your text messages.

Ron: Oh, fuck. It's five minutes down the road from where I live now, a place you've only been once. Why does it matter?

Laura: I've been there, like, five times.

Ron: That's not true.

Laura: Yes, it is.

Ron: To drop stuff off, which was really helpful, thanks to. Not that I come in and hang out.

Laura: You've never invited me to come in and hang out.

Ron: Yeah, I have.

00:55:00

Ron: Open invitation, mate.

Laura: I only found out, like, two weeks ago. There was a spare room.

Ron: Yeah, not anymore.

Laura: You're the worst.

Ron: Anyway, so I'm, um, moving.

Laura: Yeah, apparently, it's like five minutes down.

Ron: The road to a place that you never go to.

Laura: I don't know about your life, that's all.

Ron: Ron, why didn't you ask about my life?

Laura: Is it you in your new place? Can I. Hello. I'm the person you didn't invite to your wedding. Thanks for letting my brother move in with you.

Ron: Yes, you can. Um, well, it's kind of. Well, it's similar to that because I told dad this. I was like, what time are we going to be back? Because I have to. I have to move that afternoon. And then he just told me. And then I said, uh, and then asked me, like, how much I'd be around, and I said, like, oh, yeah, basically from Wednesday evening to Saturday afternoon, apart from Thursday afternoon, which is when I'm moving, he just replied, cool beans. Five minutes later, I get a text from mum. Um, it says, why didn't you tell me you were moving back to Brussels? You could have mentioned it on Sunday. Like, I'm glad that we saw you when we did because lord knows when I'm gonna see you again. That's just like, hey, obviously. But B. How was dad's reaction? Just cool beans to go tell mum.

Laura: I love that. Also, he thinks, like, what, you're moving via helicopter?

Ron: Yeah, I bet.

Laura: Enough time to move to Brussels and then get back to Bristol.

Ron: Didn't once offer to help.

Laura: Ah. Uh, cool. Yeah, cool beads. That's. That's a very agony dad reaction, though, isn't it? Yeah, cool beans, mother.

Ron: And, uh, then, yeah, mum was then like, um, uh, you need to move somewhere new so I've got someone to come visit you. It's like, mom, I've lived 45 minutes down the road from you for a year and you've come to that house once.

Laura: Yeah.

What are the four levels of a community and what do they do

Anyway, do you want to do a quiz?

Ron: Yeah, let's bang that out quick. Um, Laura, what are the four levels of a community and what do they do? What.

Laura: What the fuck?

Ron: What are the four levels of a community?

Laura: Oh, my God. Okay. No. Yes.

Ron accidentally ate chicken sushi, which supports the meat industry

Okay, I'm back in the game because I've just listened to last week's episode. I was like, the fucking hell are you talking about? But now I see where we are. The world. Um, producers. Is this the right track, Ron?

Ron: Yep. Ding.

Laura: Yes. So, producers, they are, uh, the guys that take sunlight and turn it into stuff.

Ron: Like, what do they turn into?

Laura: Uh, energy, sugar, that thing. They become the beginning. Then you've got primary consumers. These are anything that eats plants and algae, which is what producers are.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Then you've got secondary consumers. They eat the primary consumers, and then you've got tertiary consumers who maybe eat both. Eat everything. They eat everything.

Ron: Let's say that tertiary consumers.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: No, tertiary consumers eat secondary consumers.

Laura: Oh, okay. Then what are we?

Ron: So we would be primary and secondary.

Laura: Consumers and tertiary consumers. Because I'd eat a falcon.

Ron: Then. Sure. Then. I mean, you wouldn't. You're famously a vegetarian.

Laura: But yeah, I did accidentally eat chicken neartaindeh the day.

Ron: Oh, no.

Laura: Because here's the thing about me. I'm practical vegetarian and I bought some sushi. Didn't realise it had chicken in. I'd already opened it, paid for it, thereby supported the meat industry. Yes. I should have checked harder, but I really thought, I read the label and didn't have any. And then I just thought, I don't see the point in wasting it. I think that's worse on all accounts than not, um, eating it. So I ate it.

Ron: Yeah, that, uh, I mean, I think that's right. I think you should do your penance and eat your chicken.

Laura: I shan't be doing it again. It's not like I'm gonna accidentally not read labels for the foreseeable, you know, it's not a slippery slope.

Ron: No. And it's also with chicken sushi. It's not like, uh, you know, like if you accidentally had like a chicken curry or something, wherever. If we're, if we're being real, it's a bit better. Chicken sushi is not ideal.

Laura: No, no, 100%. I would much rather have had cucumber or something.

Ron: Avocado y or delicious fish.

01:00:00

Laura: Yeah, yeah. But chickens are kind of just like landfish.

Ron: What on earth do you mean by that?

Laura: Like, if you have to think of an animal that is most like a fish, but that is a bird. I think it's a chicken in terms of, like, look at it. Look at the way it moves, like, goobing about. You could easily imagine that that's a fish. Like, with the way they peck. That's a lot like a fish mouth going. Chickens are just. And they run around in little packs, like a little school of fish.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Uh, got quite scaly feet.

Ron: Just like a fish is scaly.

Laura: You're sick.

Ron: I am sick. Pretty rad, right? Um, I think that's basically all. Oh, what a seven. Abiotic fact, Laura.

Laura: Oh, no. Um, seven a. Oh, I could hide neath the wings.

Ron: Um, m a bluebird would be a biotic factor. I'm sorry.

Laura: Damn it.

Weather defining predation, pathogens, abiotic factors

06:00 alarm would never ring. But it rings and I rise. Uh, abiotic factors. Seven of them. Yes. Okay, I've got this in the notes. Light.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Weather defining predation, pathogens.

Ron: What? No, no. How is predation abiotic?

Laura: Oh, no, wait a minute. That says biofactors. But I've written it like a cereal killer for some reason. Look.

Ron: Oh my God.

Laura: I think I was mad at you at that point. Um, light, wind intensity, temperature, carbon dioxide, soil ph and minerals.

Ron: That's five.

Laura: Water. Yeah, that's probably biotic. Why would water biotic?

Ron: Why would water biological? Is water alive?

Laura: Depends if you're a homoeopath.

Ron: No, it doesn't.

Laura: It has memory somehow. Remembers.

Ron: And while it's memory of a long lost drop of onion juice, seems infinite. It seems to forget all the poo it's had in it.

Laura: Good old Tim.

Ron: Do you know what they call medicine that's been proved to work?

Laura: Medicine derived from the bark of a willow tree.

Ron: An antidote to almost side effect.

Laura: Free.

Ron: Aspirin.

Laura: Um, does soil ph and minerals, do they count as one?

Ron: Yes.

Laura: What about carbon and dioxide? That should be three.

Ron: No, damn it.

Laura: Light, wind intensity, temperature, carbon dioxide, sulphate, minerals, abiotic factors. Volcanoes. No. Uh, earthquakes.

Ron: I mean natural. Yeah, alright, I'll give it to you, but it's not one.

Laura: Yes, um, the tides. No, the moon.

Ron: Moon causes tides, doesn't it?

Laura: Yeah, but does other things do causes periods?

Ron: Uh, that's the end of the quiz. The other one was oxygen level.

Laura: We did not discuss that.

Ron: No, probably not.

Laura: Mother. Ah, lover. There we go. That was the episode. I've just realised. Also I haven't done a register because that's normally Ron's job. And to be honest, I have a lot of jobs all by myself, I really do. Ron pulls his weight, but I do more. I think we all knew that, so I've forgotten to do a register.

New constellation of stars appeared in sky when Lex education was birthed

So let's say Clymene ballthorpes. Thanks for being a patron. You are the shining star in a new constellation of stars that just appeared in the sky when Lex education was birthed. Uh, you are the brightest star in that constellation, Clymene. And, um, astronomers, or astrologers, astrology

01:05:00

is the bullshit one. Astronomers are suggesting that this constellation might have the answer to climate change in it. So thank you, Clymene, for appearing in our vistas. Thank you to Roderick Dorhandle. Roderick door handle, is the captain of the good ship Lex education. Lex education is a 18 foot seven mast, shallow keeled, uh, boat, um, painted in aquamarine and, um. Roderick. Door handle. Did I say you were the captain? I think I did. You are the captain of that ship. You are pouring over, uh, the handle. I was gonna say, like, maps and charts, but I guess that would be the navigator, wouldn't it? Not the captain, maybe the captain's involved in everything, though. I don't know. And you have only ever had to make seven people walk the plank in your long history of being a captain. So congratulations, Roderick Dorhandl, and thank you very much for being a patron. We hope you get enough signal on the high seas to always download the episodes.

The pump in Mackie's mouth constantly pushes out fish smells

Thank you to Maustafa Muk van Huizen. Maustaffer M. McVanhuizen is the pump in the back of Mackie's mouth constantly pushing out fish smells. You are a baffling individual, but we're very grateful to you for giving her a yet another unique feature that we're not sure should be on a dog. Thank you for all you do. You do it constantly. There's never a break, is there? There's never a moment where you think, gosh, she should just breathe out and the entirety of the city she's in shouldn't smell it. You just keep going and going like a little Duracell stink bunny. So thank you for your dedication to ruining our lives. If you want a shout out like this and are a real person, join the Patreon. And then you'll get one of these, um, pre written too. It won't just be me waffling off the top of my little bonce, but, um. Hey, thanks, everyone. It's just, it's actually quite nice sitting here in the cabin. In the aft cabin. Aft. Aft. The back of the. That is the stern. Um, I'm gonna go and have a shower now. I don't even know the last time I showered, but it was, let me see, I left home on Thursday, so it was at least Thursday. Today is Sunday. That's gross, isn't it? I'm gonna go and wash. Um.

My child fell in love with Ross Noble this week

Oh, also, a shout out to Ross Noble, who my child fell in love with this week. I kicked with Ross Noble. And I was quite cool about it, actually, because I did tell him what a big fan I am. But I think I wasn't weird about it. I just told him how much I love, uh, his bit about not knowing how to tuck in an owl because they don't know where their neck is. So if you want a good piece of stand up, seek out Ross Noble's bit about trying to put an owl to bed. It's one of my favourite pieces of stand up. Um, so shout out to you, Ross Noble. Thanks for my child falling in love with you. Also, thank you to Maisie, Adam and Katherine Bohart. And Simon from Chiswick headliners who also really looked after child at the podcast at a gig on Thursday night, she had a wicked time waving to the crowd and being a little cutie. Uh, it. Right, go about your days. I love you. I hope Ron's having a lovely time in Portugal. You can look forward to a Portugal bonus episode when he comes home and tells me all about that. And, um. Take care of yourselves, lads. Last week of July, I think. Let's do this. Class dismissed.

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