Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education, the third year of Lex Education. It's the comedy science podcast where comedian me Laural x tries to learn science from her eternally nerdy, eternally non comedian, eternal brother Ron.
Ron: Hello, I'm Ron, welcome to third year.
Laura: Hi, Peaky Ron. How are you?
Ron: Am I peeking? I'm so far away from the mic.
Laura: You just have a big voice.
Ron: Well, I think in third year, let's be professionals. Let's project our voices. Um, immediately followed by long unprofessional pause.
Laura: Sorry, I had a text message from Jen ah, Brister and about work tonight and, um, I was confused for a second.
Ron: Did it just say, don't be shit? As usual, doc, you pay.
Laura: Yeah, something like that.
Ron: You're bad at it.
Laura: You're bad, Laura. You're bad.
Ron: You're boring.
Laura: You're boring. Yeah, she basically just says, hi, Laura, um, give up comedy. You're bad at it.
Ron: You're holding back other women in the industry.
Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're dreadful woman. No, she's very lovely. And we're gigging together tonight, which I did not realise. Sad not to see. Sarah Pasco. I hope she's okay. But, um, always I delight to gig with Ganbaristar. Um, Mister Thomas. No, you're not Tommy nees. That's my husband. You're Ron do that way too much. I know you're at a different angle today, Ronnie.
Ron: Yeah, I'm not at home.
Laura: Oh, where are you?
Ron: I'm in Brussels. Oh, yeah. Um, gnocchi the cat might make her first reappearance, um, for a long time.
Laura: It's a gnocchi the cat reunion episode.
Ron: Yeah, potentially. She's asleep right now. Gnocchi. Yeah, she turned her ears around, but she didn't not get up.
Laura: Mackie is growling downstairs. I wish they could have a reunion. Yeah, when you move back to Brighton with gnocchi, that's when they can see each other again. Do you think they'll remember each other?
Ron: I think so, yeah.
Our numbers have been very low this week and it makes me sad
Laura: Um, I feel a bit sad this week, Ron.
Ron: Why?
Laura: I'm not sure if there's something wrong with the software or if 50% of our listeners just fucked off overnight, but our numbers have been very low this week and it's made me really sad. So can I. Does everyone just hate Beck Hill or teeth? I don't know. Personally, I think something's up with the software because it's suddenly gone really weird numbers. But if you're listening and you love us, can you just tell us in some small way even if you're a quiet lurker, can you just like a tweet here and there? Like an Instagram post here or there? You don't have to send a message, but just let us know you're listening. Hey, gnocchi the cat.
Ron: Say hello, gnocchi.
Laura: Is she still really fat?
Ron: Um, she's lost a bit of weight. She's got this little pooch under her tongue.
Laura: Oh, she has got.
Ron: It's mainly. But it's all skin in there. You can really get into it.
Laura: I don't know if I want to.
Ron: I can't believe everyone hates Beck Hill. We had such a nice chat.
Laura: Yeah, well, I don't think they do hate Beck Hill. I just think it's very hard to promote the podcast. And I honestly, I think something's gone weird. Either that or we were so offensive the week before, Bechill, in a surprising way, that no one's mentioned in the discord that everybody just shucked us into the bin. Speaking, um, of no, um, it's such a weird episode today.
Two of the Bristol tour dates have sold out already
I've got some news before we get into things. Um, huge tour news, Ron. You know how my Bristol tour date sold out, Ron?
Ron: Yep.
Laura: And we put on another one. Well, guess what? Yesterday the Guildford tour dates sold out as well. And I'm very proud of myself here because it's two and a half months before the tour even starts and two of the shows have sold out. So if you are thinking of coming and it's like, on your to do list, like, oh, I've got that in my diary, but I haven't bought my tickets yet. Get your tickets now because a lot of them are like, 50% sold out already. Like, there's a few that there's loads of tickets. You'll be able to buy them on the day. You'll be able to buy them after the show. The rooms are so big and I'm so unpopular in that area. But, um, do get your tickets early because they are selling oot. Um, I was very excited about Guildford selling outron. Very excited. But it was also a little bit like a humble brag, annoyance. You know, one of those. Because I was gigging in Guildford last night and the only reason I'd taken the gig was I was like, cool,
00:05:00
Laura: I can pump the tour, you know, I'll go and do this gig that's not great. Paid, but fabulous. Let's do it. And then it sold out the day of me doing that gig, and I was like, I can't really pull out today.
There's no London podcast festival this year for us or anyone
Um, did you take your microphone to Brussels. Run.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: Committed.
Laura: Never done that before. Well, so pro.
Ron: I got. I'm away quite a lot, so.
Laura: Oh, I know, mate, I know. Hastily. Trying to plan the recording schedule to take into account our holidays. Yeah. Um, tickets. Hey, have you bought your cheerful air for tickets yet? We're doing the big room. It's gonna be fun.
Ron: Yeah. There's no London podcast festival this year for us or anyone, actually. What they've said, if you go to WW dot londonpodcastfestival.com, there's actually. Just don't bother because there's just a picture of a sticky note and it says, no festival this year. Buy tickets to Lex ed at cheerfully for instead.
Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is all true. And, um, I just put in a date for Leicester festival next year, so. Ron John, do Leicester again next year?
Ron: Oh, yes.
Laura: Yeah. Okay. We'll talk about that more often.
Ron: But can we have a. Let's do more stuff in Leicester this year.
Laura: Yes, definitely.
Ron: That was a long drive for me to just watch toy story with your daughter.
Laura: Hey, we went to Twycross Zoo.
Ron: Oh, uh, that is true. Twycross zoo.
Laura: We cleaned shit off a bed.
Ron: When is it? Is it slightly, you know? Cause they'll be like. They'll do like the same weekend in Feb. Is it slightly less than a year after the last one we put our yearly tickets to?
Laura: Yeah, we did the end of Feb last year, didn't we?
Ron: Yeah, yeah.
Laura: When was it, Lester?
Ron: Uh, I want to say it was like the 26th or something.
Laura: Yeah, it was end of because I.
Ron: Think, didn't the orangutan just have a baby or something at Twycross? I feel like there was news.
Laura: 17 February, I think, or 18 February. And I've just put in a gig on the 8 February at the Leicester festival. So it will be within a year because I'm going to try and get us a slot probably on the 9th.
Ron: Tricross, baby.
Laura: Yeah. Uh, I was going to say also on the subject of cheerful earth on it's 20 October. We could do a live Halloween special.
Ron: Oh, fun. Everyone should come in. Uh, fancy dress.
Laura: Yeah. Like zombie rats, mad scientists. We could do it a bit halloweeny, couldn't we?
Ron: Yeah, that'd be fun. Because I need to top doing a tricko somehow.
Laura: Yeah. Yeah, I think that could be really fun. We love a Halloween special. We love a live show. Let's do a live Halloween because maybe we could find some gungeon stuff to do, like live speriments.
Ron: Let's watch that video again?
Laura: No, Ron, but can you tell me how kinetic sand works and all fun things like that?
Ron: I don't know what that is, but I'm sure I can find out.
Laura: Do some research and find out. And let's make it halloweeny. It's gonna be so good. So get tickets to cheerful earful. Um, listen, it's a weird episode. There is so little science in this episode. Um, I honestly think we're on the verge of getting done under the Trades Description act, calling this a comedy science podcast.
Ron: It's one of my favourite episodes. Ages.
Laura: It is very stupid. There are some long pauses. I'm gonna warn you now, if at any point you're listening and thinking my podcast player has randomly stopped. It hasn't. It hasn't. It is just a pause. But I think most of the pauses are worth it. No, that was just our actual friendship relationship. Now we're recording. Lovely. Um, I just showed Ron a pigeon that is outside the window, wanted to come and join in.
Ron says he feels strongly about rain in summer
Yeah, it's a rain episode here, Ron. I don't think you'll hear the rain because it's very light, sprinkly rain, but it came on while I was outside doing my workout and I got soaked to the point where I had to change my pants.
Ron: Ugh, you see a bunch of hot men out there.
Laura: I just feel very strongly about rain in summer. I'm like, ooh, I'm like Belinda Carlisle.
Ron: I am.
Laura: Did she have a song about rain?
Ron: No.
Laura: Dancing with you in the summer rain.
Ron: Yeah, you can't reference Belinda Carlisle and not be referencing ooh baby, do you.
Laura: Know what, know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place. Yeah, my wet butt is a heaven on a place on earth. But um, I was referencing summer rain actually.
How's your week going, Laura? Um, it's alright, Ron
Ron: How's your week going, Laura?
Laura: Um, it's alright, Ron. Um, what's my week doing? So I've absolutely nosed my shoulder coming back from Glastonbury so that's a little bit tricky. I'm very tired. I did a gig at a posh member's club last night that was um, like pulling teeth.
00:10:00
Laura: Very nice veneered teeth, but like pulling teeth. Um, so I'm a bit overtired but I've just eaten two ot bars to get me in the, in the, in the, in a good physics frame of mind. How are you, Ron? Oh no, have I lost you again?
Ron: No, I'm trying to think of a chat. Blind fatigue.
Laura: I thought that, uh, the Internet died.
Ron: Trying to, um, um, because I'm trying.
Laura: To think of a chat up line for teeth.
Ron: Yeah, because you're pulling. It's like pulling teeth.
Laura: Oh, I see.
Ron: I guess they would go to a bar, like a club, and then they could all floss. Um, um, yes, but that's nothing. That needs more.
Laura: Do you want to come back? Canine place.
Ron: Yeah. Uh. Um. Um. You look like.
Laura: Wait, I think you've muted yourself.
Ron: Ooh. Why is my laptop turned off?
Laura: Oh, no.
Ron: Am I back? Am I back?
Laura: I can still hear you, but it's like your microphone's turned off. Ah. Uh, you sound in the distance now. It's one of our, um, more professional segments.
Ron: Am I back?
Laura: It's the bit. Yeah, there. He's back. It's the bit in each episode where one of us fucks up the sound quality. Quality of this famously sound based product.
Ron: What I said was, you look like you need a good filling.
Laura: Oh, yes, Ron. Yes.
Ron: That's how you pull teeth.
Laura: Yeah. Just swirl that around your mouth a bit and, um, then spit.
Ron: Yeah, she looks like she needs good filling. And then I'd be in size. Her. It's something. There is something there.
Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ron: My week has been fine. Thank you.
Laura: Oh, I think that tooth fancies me. He's, ah, a bit enamelled with me.
Ron: Very, very good, very good.
Laura: Thank you.
Ron: Um, I'd like to be in her cavity.
Laura: Nice.
Ron: But it's, again, something.
Laura: Would you like to go Floride?
Ron: Uh, I like that one, actually. Um. Uh, I'd like to go on a date with Chew.
Laura: Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ron: Mutual mastication.
Laura: Your place or mine?
Ron: Very nice. Um.
Laura: Um. Gum in a softie.
Ron: Up the gum.
Laura: Um. Uh. Oh, she's got big milkers.
Ron: Deciduous tea. Why did we do all of this with Beck Hill?
Laura: No. Yeah, this is last week's content, man. Anyone with a tooth phobia has just got episode after episode of unbearable right now.
Ron: Yeah. Um. Wisdomatrix teeth. It's good. Wrong. It's good. It's pretty good.
Laura: You should edit out all of the thinking time so that it just sounds like we're just riffing like they do on, like, sick bro podcasts.
Ron: What are the sick bro?
Laura: You know, like, we're sick bros.
Ron Chambers put a video out yesterday about being short at Glastonbury
They. They film their podcast and they sit around in big armchairs, like, leathery armchairs with big headphones on and, like, swing arm mics coming out to them. And they've all got different baseball caps on and then the camera just cuts as they all laugh at each other. And there's one that doesn't say anything, but it's just there to laugh at the other two.
Ron: You meant, like, Michael J. Fox has a podcast or something?
Laura: No. Oh, he was at Glastonbury, Ron.
Ron: I. Yeah, that's probably why he jumped to mind.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Was it Weezer?
Laura: No, Coldplay.
Ron: Coldplay.
Laura: Oh. He might have been on other stages, but I saw him with Coldplay.
Ron: Yeah. That's cool.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Cool guy.
Laura: Yeah. Pretty rad. I would listen to his podcast if he wants to come on ours. We need a guest for our fourth year anniversary.
Ron: Yep.
Laura: Third year anniversary. Yeah, we're in third year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ron: It's Laura, Lex and the prisoner of Azkaban.
Laura: Whoop, whoop, whoop.
Ron: Year nine.
Laura: Yeah, year nine, man.
Ron: If we're starting at secondary school, which.
Laura: I assume this is where I got short. I got really short in year nine.
00:15:00
Laura: Everyone else just carried on growing. I really remember there being a day, there was a girl at school called Laurie, and she was tiny. She was one of those people who's short but also tiny. You know, like, I'm short, but I'm quite normal proportions.
Ron: Yeah, you're short, but not a runt.
Laura: Yes. And, uh, one day we were doing school photos, and, you know, you line up where your height is and I've never been short before. And then suddenly, the only person in the school shorter than me was Laurie. And I was like, oh, I'm tiny.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, dear.
Ron: Sorry.
Laura: Yeah, that's okay. That's okay, mate. Um, I put a video out yesterday about being short at Glastonbury, and the number of people telling me I did the festival wrong is driving me nuts. It's like, it's just a stupid video, guys. I didn't. I didn't purposefully have a bad festival because I'm too thick to understand how sight lines work.
Ron: People are weird about Glastonbury.
Laura: Yeah. There's one man furiously on the Internet today trying to tell me that I ruined everybody's Coldplay experience by making that video. Like, there were. Coldplay were playing live. That was quite loud for a start. Then there were a hundred thousand people singing all of the songs with them. And I was stood with my phone here, talking at just talking volume. And he's like, you have to be mad if you think people couldn't hear you. I'm like, mm hmm. Watch. Watch the video back and see all of the people turning around and giving me side eye for saying eight sentences across 2 hours. Fuck off. You weren't there. You don't know what happened. Fffff.
Ron: Also, it's a festival. Noises be happening. Also, it's coldplay. Pretty sure Coldplay ruined everyone's experience with wanker.
Laura: Uh, do you know what? They were fine. They were absolutely fine and loads of people turned out to see them. So I'm like, other people must get something out of this.
Ron: I'd, uh, like to. If there was nothing else on, I'd sit and watch Coldplay from the back. Why? Nothing?
Laura: Uh, yeah. Here's the thing, though. I can't get mad at people liking Coldplay, because if that had been kings of Leon, I'd have lost my shit to every song. I'd have gone mad. And there's loads of people out there that think Kings of Leon as mainstreamers. Like, they come and go, oh, it was fine until only by the night came out. I wish they'd go back to all the Molly's Chambers stuff and you're just like, yeah, that stuff was fine, but what do you want them to do? Just keep making the same album over and over again? No, you fucking idiots. Let them just evolve and change as a band.
Ron: Yeah, because you know what? You can still put on Molly's M Chambers.
Laura: Exactly. And there were two albums that were pretty similar then, I think, because of the times, was the absolute transition album. You can see their move from that to more like stadium rock and only by the night's a great album.
I've decided the band I want to see live loads is the Fratelli's
You're idiots.
Ron: Yeah, I think. I think Sex on Fire is overplayed and not the best song on that album, which then puts people off the whole thing.
Laura: Yeah. But, you know, I would scream and shout to that. I'd have a banging time.
Ron: Yeah. Yeah.
Laura: I've decided the one I really want to see, the band I want to see live loads is the Fratelli's. I think I would have. I think that would be the time of my life to see the Fratelli's live. I love them so much. I don't think they're currently touring. I checked on the way home from.
Ron: Glastonbury when I went to reading in, I think, 2019. They were advertising the ten year anniversary of, um, Costello music, uh, um, where they just played it from start to finish. That would have been a dream show.
Laura: I actually really like their latest stuff, though. In your own sweet time is one of my favourite albums of all time. Yeah, I had a great time seeing the Zutons. The Sunday morning at Glastonbury. I sat on a hill and I had an egg and salmon sandwich and, um, a cup of tea and watched the Zutons and was just like, this is lushe nice. I forgot, I forgot like I knew Zutongs. I was like, oh, Valerie. Yeah. And I'm sure I'll like their other songs. And then every song they played, I was like, oh, yeah, this is the Zutons. Oh, uh, forgot about this. Great fun.
Ron: What songs do they do?
Laura: You will, you won't. You say you don't, you do not do. But you come out at night, you do, you don't have.
Ron: Yeah, cool.
Laura: Um, they were great fun.
Kit Harrington: Should we do some physics today instead of voting labour
Ron: Anywho, um, should we do some physics?
Laura: Oh, you know, we have to assume we've just done an intro that was mainly this.
Ron: Yeah. You know what I was thinking, Laura, is instead of doing physics today.
00:20:00
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Um. Um, let's. Let's just both watch this and then we'll just talk about it.
Laura: Watch what, Ron?
Ron: I've just sent you a link.
Laura: Oh, you're such a little YouTube boy.
Ron: I'm Kit Harrington and I'm voting labour on Thursday, the 4 July 1 issue that is really important to me. This is an ad I didn't have. Want to watch labour thing.
Laura: 33 amazing science experiments compilation. Best of the year. It's 15 minutes long, Ron.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I can't watch a video for 15 minutes.
Ron: Look at that big icy knob.
Laura: What was that?
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: Strawberry and some water. And it's come out covered in ice.
Ron: Oh.
Laura: Right. Presumably just the stuff.
Ron: Um, I think it's just cold water and strawberry.
Laura: What's happening now?
Ron: That's, uh, magneferic liquid in a magnetic field.
Laura: I don't think this is fun for the listener. On.
Ron: Well, I thought maybe if we did it on Riverside, they could watch too.
Laura: Why didn't you say that before we started doing this? I, ah, should have made this a video.
Ron: Oh, does this scream loads of planning.
Laura: You have got big end of term energy on here, Ron. Yeah, start of term. It's the start of third year. You can't be starting like this. No, this is boring.
Ron: Whoa, look at that. Battery wire spin.
Laura: Oh, wow. A battery has power in it. Shocker. Shocker of the century.
Ron: Spinning to fuckin get to fuck.
Laura: I never get to fuck. That's Steve Berger. Ah.
Ron: Um. Whoa. He just. He's hitting a balloon on several nails and it's not popping.
Laura: I'm so happy for him.
I think we should do more reaction content, to be honest
Oh, child of the podcasts pissed herself again.
Ron: How do you know? Do you have a piss alarm?
Laura: I get a notification every time they change an app. Yet. Nursery. Oh, um, and Tom doesn't like it when I say she's pissed herself again. But she has exactly.
Ron: So no to this. I think we should do more reaction content, to be honest. Laura. It's where the Internet is. Laura. Yeah?
Laura: I have been begging you to make content for the socials. If you want to do reaction videos to this, be my mother fucking guest. I'll build you a guest wing. You will be such a guest, I'll bring you breakfast in bed. I've asked you. In fact, we've recorded stuff, and all you have to do is edit it and put it out. Have you done it? Have you? Fuck, mate. Go spend your life watching these videos and saying one word and getting 1 billion views from it. I'd be delighted.
Ron: Well, that's what I'm trying to do. And you're saying no.
Laura: No, because you're trying to do it within the podcast.
Ron: Why can't it be? Why can't it be both?
Laura: Because if you do it in the podcast, it's just you sitting there silently and then going, whoa, look at that. Whoa. Oh, it's really jumping. Whoa. That's not what people want.
Ron: Dry ice in there now, man. Whoa. Ooh. Smoky bubbles.
Laura: Stormzy said hi to my friend on Saturday.
Ron: Who's your friend?
Laura: Hasty.
Ron: Oh, uh, why?
Laura: Because he walked through the Coldplay crowd really, really near us, and she turned around, look surprised, and he just went, hello to her.
Ron: Stormzy seems like a nice guy.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: They're burning antiptic tant gel now.
Laura: I don't think there should be.
Ron: No. But they're lighting paper with it. It's an invisible flame, which is quite scary.
Laura: 16 fucking minutes of this.
Ron: Have we been recording for 16 minutes?
Laura: Yes, Ron, we have.
Ron: Geez. Well, you. Oh, I've only been watching that for three minutes, 40 seconds.
Laura: Okay, a lot of it was other waffle, but none of it's been physics, Ron.
Ron: Oh, Laura. But you don't know what we have to do today, and that's not fair.
Laura: Uh, what are we doing? It's not down again. We've done that.
Ron: Yeah. Smoke. Death.
Laura: Oh, um, not that fucking triangle.
Ron: Yeah, the triangles back.
Laura: Delta.
Ron: Uh, walk me through the. The equation. Delta e equals mc delta theta.
Laura: No, I can't. I can't.
00:25:00
Laura: I. I can't remember what theatre is. Hang on. Let me find the page. Let me find the page. I'm gonna put the macarons and the glue sticks down. I wonder how much I would have learned if I'd never bought those glue sticks.
Change in energy equals mass times the heat constant
All right, MacDeath, where you hiding? Specific latent heat. Oh, I remember doing that. It's before or after that? Bibboodleop pir. Oh, that's what we did last time. So it must be post this. There she is. Change in energy equals mass times the heat constant. Times the change in temperature.
Ron: Yeah. What is the heat constant?
Laura: Everything has a heat constant.
Ron: Which represents.
Laura: I feel like that car drove past so sarcastically. Um, the natural temperature, it just drops back to on a normal day.
Ron: So the mass of it multiplied by the natural temperature that it drops back to on a normal day multiplied by the change in temperature.
Laura: Something like that. I don't know what a heat constant is, Ron. It's a small c. Yeah.
Ron: So it makes sense that, uh, the mass would affect how much energy it takes is how much energy is being used, right.
Laura: Yes, because more thing. More needed to heat it up.
Ron: Exactly. Um, and then it makes sense that.
Laura: Is the heat constant, how much it takes to heat one atom of it.
Ron: Not one atom. Um, but essentially, yes, it's how much energy it takes to heat a thing by one degree.
Laura: One carbon twelve of it, one gramme. One carbon twelve. One gramme things. Ron, Ron, can you just be impressed that I remembered carbon twelve, please?
Ron: No, because, like, if you were just like, oh, one mausoleum of halicarnassus, oh, can you just be impressed that I remembered the mausoleum of halicarnassus? Neither's carbon twelve.
Laura: We were literally talking about it last.
Ron: Episode, which was chemistry you fuck with.
Laura: All of the sciences are related, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, and all the sciences are related to history, so the mausoleum, um, of Halakarnassus is actually relevant.
Ron thinks Tom Bilder's book is too long
Laura: Speaking of history, how you getting on with the monk? Did you read any last night?
Ron: No.
Laura: Have you not read any?
Ron: It's so boring.
Laura: It's not boring, Ron. It's an epic saga.
Ron: It's not. It's a grumpy. It's a grumpy old fuck. We're wandering around going, oh, I wish I could build a cathedral. No, shatter your dreams. Look down at the earth, which is where you live, and just feed your fucking children.
Laura: Ron, I think your own joyless life is really impeding on your love of this book. No, just because you've sacrificed everything to be a normal, boring asshole doesn't mean that Tom Bilder wants to. Tom Builder wants to build spiring arches and tall, um, transepts.
Ron: No, it's just, it's too long. But then also rushed. There's it. Why is it so long?
Laura: Because loads happens.
Ron: Nothing's happened so. Well, loads has happened so far. Uh, cut some storylines. There's a lot that should be on the cutting room floor, Ron.
Laura: Because the point of it isn't to just tell one short story. It's not trying to be a limerick. And he's fucked it up. The point of the book is a long story of a town.
Ron: Do multiple books.
Laura: There are. There's actually, like, three more after this.
Ron: Yeah, I just. I just don't believe that this man is having that many good ideas. The author?
Laura: Oh, they're great. I've listened to all of them, and this is the second time I've listened to this.
Ron: You're not very discerning.
Laura: I am. No, I've listened to some booker Prize nominees this year. I didn't like them. There we go.
Ron: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I.
Laura: So are you just not gonna read it, then?
Ron: I'm trying.
Laura: You didn't read any last night.
Ron: You said no because it's dull.
Laura: Are you gonna play Minecraft with us tonight?
Ron: No, I've got gig tickets.
Laura: What are you gonna see?
Ron: Psychedelic porn crumpets.
Laura: They were at Glastonbury.
Ron: Yeah, they're touring.
Laura: I'll take the book with you and read it between songs.
Ron: I had tickets to see them a
00:30:00
Ron: while back, and then the lead singer got attacked by a stray dog, and they had to push it back to today.
Laura: Oh, no.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Well, that's very sad for mister psychedelic porn crumpet.
Ron: Yeah, it's when I booked the tickets last minute, when, uh, when it was first gonna happen. I don't really know them. I do like it a bit. Um, and now I can't be bothered.
Laura: Oh, stay in and play Minecraft with me instead.
Ron: I know I have paid for the tickets and I do. They'll be fun when I'm there.
Laura: Not as much fun as playing minecraft with me.
Ron: I think it's similar levels of fun, at least.
Laura: Okay. You should take a stray dog with you. Take a stray dog puppet and just wave it around.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura, what's the unit of the specific heat constant?
Laura, what's the unit of the specific heat constant?
Laura: Uh, degrees per gramme. Degrees over gramme. Degrees of a gramme degrees over grammes.
Ron: Where have you got that from?
Laura: My butt.
Ron: Do you want to try and work it out?
Laura: Uh, I haven't actually written. I did try and work it out. That was me working out. Joules per kilogramme. Joules per kilogramme.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Well done.
Laura: L equals e over m.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I'm boiling water to make two cups of tea
All right, Laura, you're boiling water to make two cups of tea.
Laura: I'm actually not, because I refused to make Tom tea before this record, because he wouldn't make me one. Um, I bought the kettle and only made myself one.
Ron: That's really.
Laura: He called me a horrible rat.
Ron: You are a petulant person.
Laura: Well, he wouldn't make me one even though I was running late for this recording and he was only playing FIFA.
Ron: Um, um, yeah, but he's allowed to play FIFA.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: This is your FIFA, Ron.
Laura: He's done three gigs in six weeks. The man's got time to play FIFA. Don't worry about him.
Ron: I do worry about him.
Laura: Yeah. He's a sad man. He's married to me. He doesn't know joy anymore.
Ron: He's married to a petulant rat.
Laura: Yeah. Right. We're boiling water.
Ron: Yep. For two cups of tea, we're boiling the exact amount of water we need. Your mugs are 330 mil, right? The room temperature is 21 degrees, and the specific heat constant for water is 4185.5. How much energy does it take to boil those mugs of water?
Laura: Uh, 217,100 joules.
Ron: How did you work that out?
Laura: Um, well, l equals e over m m, and then I put what's l? Uh, the joules per kilogramme is l. That's the heat constant.
Ron: No, the heat constant is joules per kelvin per kilogramme.
Laura: Oh, right. Okay.
Ron: Because we're doing Delta e equals Mc Delta theta, remember?
Laura: Yeah, yeah, but was I right?
Ron: No.
Laura: Oh, um. 167,000 jewels.
Ron: Where have you got that?
Laura: From the next page, if I know.
Ron: Yeah. Why don't, why don't you read it out? Uh, work it out. Rather than just reading random numbers that you see.
Laura: Right. Take it back to the beginning, Ron. Let's just go back to the start. Talk to me again. What am I doing? 606, 660 millilitres of water.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And I'm trying to boil it. Yeah, and then what the, what's the heat constant? Water.
Ron: 4185.5.
Laura: 4185.5 equals water heat constant. Istanbul to constantinople um,
00:35:00
Laura: so, so.
Ron: I.
Laura: Just can't imagine having this sort of brain where this just was like, oh, that's all the information I need to make.
Ron: Uh, do you know how formulas work, though?
Laura: Triangle E, uh, equals MC triangle Jupiter. Uh, okay, then what is m? M is the mass. So the mass is 660. But that's probably 0.66, Ron.
Ron: Yep. Well done.
Laura: Yes. Okay. 0.66. And then the heat constant is four, one eight, 5.5. So six, two, six times four, one, eight, 5.5. Then in the thingies triangle is the change. I don't know what that means. And that's right. Well, I don't know. I don't know how to deal with the parenthesis.
Ron: What parenthesis?
Laura: Mc.
Ron: No, because you've put it in the parenthesis. You did this last time. It doesn't need to be.
How much is the temperature changing? Room temperature is 21 degrees
Laura: What is delta, then?
Ron: It means the change in. I know.
Laura: It means the change in.
Ron: Uh, it means the change in the temperature.
Laura: So what number is instead of the triangle in this case?
Ron: No, it's delta theta. That's one thing.
Laura: Okay, what number is the triangle? Theta.
Ron: How much is the temperature changing? Room temperature is. Room temperature is 21 degrees. You're boiling the water. What temperature does water boil?
Laura: Did you not tell me it was happening at room temperature?
Ron: Well, what out the fucking temperature would.
Laura: It be happening at times 79.
Ron: Thank you.
Laura: Okay, which one do I multiply first?
Ron: Bod.
Laura: Mass. Uh, well, they're both multiplies.
Ron: Yep.
Laura: So which one do I multiply first?
Ron: Why don't you try it both ways and then see which one gets you the right answer?
Laura: No. Uh, if it turns out to be one of the answers I already gave, I'm gonna be livid. Right. Where's my calculator? There it is. Hello, buddy. 0.66 times 4185.5 times 79. That gives me. 218,231.97.
Ron: Lovely. Now do it the other way.
Laura: Uh, let's go. Four, one, eight. 5.5 times 79 times 0.66. Oh, same answer. Yeah.
Ron: Ah. Why on earth would it make a difference? Uh, this is what we call lessons in your own duncitude, Laura. Or is it three at nine? I don't know.
Laura: I forgot to tell you. Ron, child of the podcast, called me dumbbins the other day.
Ron: No.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: What did she say?
Laura: Well, she, like, she wasn't, like, I didn't do something. She accused me, but I was. I think I said it to myself. I went, oh, dumbins. And she just looked at me, went, dumbens.
Ron: Dumb. Uh.
Laura: 218,231.97 joules, Ron.
Ron: Yes, that is correct.
Laura: Boo.
Energy divided by time equals power. Power is defined as the rate at which energy is transferred
Ron: Laura, do you know what power is?
Laura: Um, force for change?
Ron: No. Power is defined as the rate at which energy is transferred or the rate at which work is done.
Laura: Oh, work done. That rings a bella.
Ron: Yeah, literally, power equals the energy that you've got. Power divided by the time it took.
Laura: Energy divided by time equals power.
Ron: So, let's imagine that our kettle took two and a half minutes to boil that water. What power is the kettle?
Laura: Energy divided by time equals
00:40:00
Laura: power.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Energy divided by time equals power. Uh, what's the unit for time, Ron? Seconds.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: How long did you say it took?
Ron: Two and a half minutes.
Laura: That is 150 seconds, Owen. Sorry, everyone, for that punching noise. It was my knuckles.
Ron: They're yelling, timber.
Laura: I'll be the 114. 54.88 watts. Yes.
Ron: Yes. Well done, Laura. That's power.
Energy cannot be destroyed, dissipated or used, Laura says
Now we're onto six. 1.2. Conservation and dissipation of energy. Oh, tell me something about energy, Laura. The first thing that jumps to mind.
Laura: It can't be destroyed.
Ron: Yes, it can be. Cannot be destroyed, dissipated or used, but it cannot be created, nor destroyed.
Laura: It can be created.
Ron: No, it can't.
Laura: Had to come from somewhere.
Ron: No, it didn't.
Laura: Did.
Ron: Why, why. Why are you.
Laura: Why.
Ron: Why are you sticking your shitty little ore in?
Laura: I been scratching my butt cracking. Now the oar is going in.
Ron: Um, made it sound like the ore is going in your butt. And, um.
Laura: Yeah, that's what I was saying. I scratched in my butt. Crap with the oar. And then now I've stuck it in your cake.
Ron: No, no, you shouldn't have had a.
Laura: Boat party and not in the boat.
Ron: What that sounded like is you're scratching your butt and then you fucked yourself with an oar.
Laura: I did, and it was delicious. Would do it again.
Ron: You're particularly gross.
Laura: I had an orgasm. Um.
Ron: All right, turned it around.
Laura: Stop trying to think of another one and just move on with a letter.
Ron: No, I was trying to go back to. Trying to go back to, um. Trying to go back to teeth. Is there anything in plaque?
Laura: Just lie in your plaque and think of England.
Ron: Yes, yes, yes.
Laura: Retainer. Uh, I hardly knew her.
Ron: No, that's nothing, I'm afraid.
Laura: Brace yourself.
Ron: It's getting quite uncomfortable. Courser dildo. Uh.
Laura: It'S very good.
The ice packs are absorbing energy from the J two O's
Ron: Um, Laura, have we not already recapped this? Have we done the tar steps thing?
Laura: Paella.
Ron: No, tar steps. So we've had a cup of tea. We're going to tar steps with the family. So we've put some J two O's in a cool bag with some ice packs. What energy transfers? What energy transfers are happening?
Laura: Oh, I love this bit, Ron, because what's happening is the ice packs are, uh, absorbing energy from the J two O's.
Ron: Yes. That's the flow. It's not cold moving from the ice packs to the j two O's. Exactly. What other energy transfers are happening?
Laura: Uh, are we assuming it's a closed system in your ice pack, in your cool bag, Ron?
Ron: No, we're talking real world.
Laura: Okay, well, the air around the ice packs is also, um, losing energy to the cool ice packs. Um, and also the air outside the cool bag is losing energy to the coldness of the ice pack.
Ron: Absolutely. How could we improve this situation?
Laura: Insulate the ice. The cool bag more.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And put more ice packs in.
Ron: Love that. Yes, Laura, well done.
Laura: Yes. Uh, even though we're saying j two o's, I'm picturing key or you wouldn't take j two o's. They're too clunky. You want a capricorn or a Kia ora? Like something with not much packaging.
Ron: What's a Kia ora?
Laura: Kia ora. You know, they're like the jungley fruit drink
00:45:00
Laura: was like in a pouch, like a capri sun. Or as you call it, a capri sun.
Ron: Why would I call it a capri sun?
Laura: I'm sure you called it a capri sun.
Ron: Well, you do call it the island of Capri.
Laura: Yeah. And capri pants. And it makes much more sense that it's the capri sun, like.
Ron: No, I think this is a bit that you did with Will Duggan. Thank you very much.
Laura: Oh, uh, you're very interchangeable people in my life.
Ron: Wow. Kia auras are such a. They're just nowhere to be found, really, on the Internet.
Laura: Yeah, surely they are.
Ron: I found them now.
Laura: Kia aura.
Ron: Uh, I don't recognise this at all.
Laura: Not to be confused with Rita aura.
Ron: Uh, is that what she's referencing?
Laura: No, I think that's just her name.
Ron: That's not her name. Wow. Racist ads. Okay, I can see why they buried this. It means hello in Maori.
Laura: Oh, yeah. No, it is her name. Rita Sahachu. Aura. Uh, Albanian born Rita Sahachu.
Ron: She's married to Taika Waititi.
Laura: Yes, she is.
Ron: Is she from New Zealand as well?
Laura: No, she's british, I think.
Ron: Uh, Rita ura's only 34.
Laura: Yeah, that seems about right.
Ron: I thought she'd be like, in her early fifties.
Laura: Why did you think that, Ross?
Ron: She's been famous for a month. Just. She's been famous for a long time.
Laura: Well, probably about ten years, really?
Ron: Is that it?
Laura: What do you think you could with Angela Lansbury?
Ron: He's famously in her early fifties.
Laura: Yeah, I don't know.
Ron: It's just her debut album, 28.
Laura: Gosh, you're very old, aren't you? 30 next year.
Ron: I can't believe Rita Ura is only five years older than me.
Laura: You're in with a chance, mate. Go.
Ron: She's got citizenship to the UK and, um, Kosovo.
Laura: Nice. I'm probably in New Zealand now.
Ron: Maybe her, um, her grandfather was Besim sahasi. A. Ah, Kosovo. A Kosovo albanian director of theatre and film.
Laura: Well done.
Ron: What's her deal?
Laura: Why is she good I don't think she is.
Ronnie had a lockdown breaking birthday party at Covid
Her music's very average and I think she might be an asshole.
Ron: What makes you think that?
Laura: I believe she got into trouble in Covid for not locking down. Like, hired a restaurant out or something. Sounds like her and Tiger Kawai tt might be, like, swingers, but, hey, that's liable.
Ron: Oh, uh, yeah, she had a lockdown breaking birthday party.
Laura: Yeah, something like that.
Ron: She was incredibly embarrassed by it.
Laura: I'm sure she was embarrassed she got caught.
Ron: Yeah. Bloody hell. Um, right, let's watch some more amazing science.
Laura: No, Ron, I have been tip top spot on with being a scientific genius in this episode, and you've done nothing but preamble.
Ron: I feel like we've already gone over a lot of this in these. Yeah, because we've done resistors and stuff. We've done everything.
Laura: We've done this in the wrong order. We've definitely done resistors, but that was earlier. Oh, hi, child. You want to come up, do you? You want to talk to Uncle Ron? Okay. Come on, then. Did you have fun at nursery? Yeah. Come on, then. Come and talk to Uncle Ron then. Hi, Ron.
Ron: Hiya.
Laura: Hello. Can you hear Uncle Ron? Hi, Ron.
Ron: Hello. How are you doing?
Laura: Good.
Ron: Yeah. Did you have a nice time at nursery?
Laura: Yeah, yeah. You see Uncle Ron on the screen? Stop. Back in your nose. Hey, Ron.
Ron: Hello. Uh, I love you. Oh. What
00:50:00
Ron: was your favourite thing at nursery? No, no, nothing. Favourite. Are you gonna be a scientist one day?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Yeah. What's your favourite? Biology, chemistry or physics? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we like them all, don't we? That's biology. Yeah. Well, you get you playing with some test tubes, doing some experiments.
Laura: Right? You're gonna go for a rest now. Well, Ron's got to finish doing some work with mummy.
Ron: I'll see you in a couple of weeks.
Laura: Yeah, we'll see Ron and on Grandpa's boat in a little bit. Okay. Excuse that brief interlude.
Ron: Um. Um, yeah, we've done all of that before.
Laura: We did the resistors, but resistors was before this bit in my notepad anyway.
Ron: Nah, it may, uh. Uh, I don't know.
Laura: This is why you need to make notes, Ronnie.
Next up, we go on to atomic structure. Um, I think we skipped all the national grid bit last time
And next up, we go on to atomic structure.
Ron: Yeah, let's skip all the national grid bit. Let's go into atomic structure.
Laura: Um, I think we might have skipped all the national grid bit last time, too. I don't have any notes on that.
Ron: Oh, it's just like there's a grid and it's national.
Laura: All right.
Ron: Yeah. I can't be fucked with any of that. 6.3. Laura. Particle model of matter.
Laura: Well, I tell you what. There's a screaming child in the background, and you can't be asked. Should we just call it there and do this another day?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Wicked.
Ron: How long have we been recording?
Laura: 45 minutes.
Ron: Oh, grand. Yeah.
Laura: Of course a dildo, man. Yeah, I wanted to call the episode course of Dildo, but then I also didn't want to give away that joke. That was a real tricky one to name that episode, because I don't want to give away course a dildo.
Ron: We did well. We did well again. Why didn't we do it with Becky? Oh, why didn't we do.
Laura: Um. Hey, listen, can we have a campaign online to get Ron to do more video content for the socials?
Ron: I'm sorry, I saw that in the notes, but it's. I'm not online, so that's good.
Laura: You have to be. We've got a podcast to promote Ronnie, do your campaign.
Ron: But it needs to be grassroots and in real life.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: I'm just not gonna see it.
Laura: I will put Ron's phone number in the discord, join the Patreon, get his phone number, and then I want 80 text messages a day. Wang in his way. Tell you what, videos out.
Ron: If you started a patrons WhatsApp group, then I.
Laura: That's what the discord is.
Ron: No, cuz it's in discord. I don't use discord.
Laura: Then fucking use discord, you banana. Uh, all that would happen if I set up a patron's WhatsApp group was. You'd suddenly go, I don't use WhatsApp anymore. I use filler magoo. It's like WhatsApp, but for my cool generation, that wants to be less online but isn't is just online in different apps.
Ron: Yeah, I mean, WhatsApp's not that safe, so maybe I would move to a signal or telegram or something.
Laura: But I've heard parlor's very good.
Ron: Isn't that the right wing one?
Laura: Yeah, yeah, right.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: I only use four chan.
Ron: No, uh, it's all about eight chan these days. And that's not even me doing a tired boomer joke. That's a real thing.
Laura: No, I literally only chat to my loved ones in YouTube comments, so I don't know.
Ron: Oh, now, talking about right wing, that's about as slow as it gets.
Laura: I'm very esoteric. I'm very cool. I'm cool, dude.
Ron has given up on the book club now, so you won't be hearing any more updates
Um, I just wanted to also update the listeners that we mentioned. Book club. In this episode. Uh, Ronnie and myself and our sisters are uh, in a book club. Ron has given up on the book club now, so you won't be hearing any more updates about Tom Builder. But if you're interested, the book was called Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. I've listened to it twice. It was super good. And if you want to discuss it, you can discuss it with me. I think I'm going to add a cathedral to the palace world on Minecraft run.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: I'm going to make it out of sandstone, I think, like carved sandstone. And I'm going to put transepts and columns and flying buttresses.
Ron: In which way will the columns go horizontal or vertical?
Laura: Well, the contents of the columns will go vertically, but the columns, plural, will go horizontally, as you should understand, being a man of science.
Ron: Um, I've started the new book, though.
Laura: Oh, I haven't. I have ordered it at the library, though.
Ron: I'm just a very slow reader, so I thought, as I had it, I'd get ahead. Um, and it's very good so far.
Laura: Um, it's called butter,
00:55:00
Laura: isn't it?
Ron: Butter by Ozako something.
Laura: Yeah. All right, I'm excited. I'm listening to an audiobook called everything you always wanted to know about Indians but were afraid to ask all about, uh, Native Americans. It's very interesting. I'm enjoying it. Um, Ron, we need to have a planning meeting, too. To plan how? I'm gonna sit the GCSE. Yeah, because we're there now. We've done it.
Ron: We're about to record an ep, so let's do that in there.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Register.
Laura: It's a big thank you to scorched soul. Oh, I love that. That feels like an MSN name. That is the most Bebo thing I've heard in a long time. Most mysterious patron so far, judging by the email address, is either a professional magician or something of an arrested development fan. Um, in Lex ed world, they are employed to carry Laura around in a small tent on their back like Yzma and Kronk in Emperor's new groove, so that she can ruin everyone's coldplay experience and see for herself and that it stops there. I thought it was going to continue on to the next page. It doesn't. It stops.
Ron: I ran out of time.
Laura: Thank you, scotched soul. I look forward to being carted about like you on a sedan. In a way, you are carting me about on a little sedan chair with your three pounds a month, which is all it costs to support the. The podcast. It's all it costs to say, hey, in a world full of misery and torment. What I want is more of this sort of thing. Three pounds.
Ron: Leave us a five star reviews, scorch soul, and let us know what your deal is. Why? Why are you called scorched soul, Laura? If you look at their email address, I think it's a reference to, um, um, Tony Wonderland, but I'm not 100% sure.
Laura: Well, either way, we love you, Tony Wonder. Or not. You are scorchedy. Wonderful.
Ron: Tony Wonder is such an underrated Ben Stiller performance.
Laura: What? That silence there was was like a little fire break, like in a forest when you're trying to protect a wooden village. Just because I think if I get involved now, there's going to be an extra eight minutes to this podcast while Ron just quotes bits of arrested development at us.
Ron: What if I do no quotes, but we talk about Tony wonder?
Laura: I can't remember who he is. So what?
Ron: He's the guy that hides in a dumb waiter until someone says. Until someone says, I wonder where he is. And then he gets out and says, did somebody say wonderland?
Laura: The fibrin.
Ron: Uh, all right. Class Dismissed.
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