Listen Snake Head

 Listen Snake Head

Here's the video thing. I've requested a new laptop from M work

Ron: Here's the video thing. I've requested a new laptop from M work, so hopefully, um, my laptop will be less loud in the future. It's exciting having to fight them to get a MacBook.

Laura: Yeah. Woof.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Nope. Okay.

This is the final episode of Lex Education after two years of madness

Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education. It's the final episode of year two. Can you believe we are at the end of two full years of Lex Education madness? It's the comedy podcast where comedian, that's me, Laura. Lex, what? Tries to learn GCSE science from her. Not, huh, comedian, but not normal. Definitely a brother ro.

Ron: Hello, I'm Ron.

Laura: M Ron, your hair looks sharp today.

Ron: Thank you. I like the new product I use.

Laura: Is that your curly boy haircut?

Ron: Yes. Yes, it is. It's my leave in conditioner by Cantu.

Laura: Oh. How's your life, Ron?

Ron: It's, uh, uh, you know what? Um, uh, I'm out of wedding season in the friend group and, um, I'm so relaxed now.

Laura: It was, it was friend of the podcast sports correspondent Max's wedding last weekend.

Ron: Congratulations, Max.

Laura: Congratulations, Max. And Max's bride misses Max. No more name now. You are the property of your husband.

Ron: Well, actually, they, um, uh, both rebranded.

Laura: Ah.

Ron: Uh, so rather than her taking his name or vice versa, they have both taken his mother's maiden name.

Laura: Cute. I had some friends that amalgamated their surname, like, mushed it into a oner, you know?

Ron: Oh, yeah. How did that go?

Laura: Yeah, great.

Ron: Can we know the name?

Laura: It, um, was my lovely friend Phil who died. Phil Gerard, amazing comedian. I, um, believe they were Jones and Herod. And then they got married and became Gerards. Um, but what a guy. Fucking loved that, man. Um, um, Ron.

We're now on 102 five star reviews on Spotify

I'm so hot. It's so hot. I'm sorry if the sound quality is bad in this episode, but I can't do this with the windows shut. It's so hot.

Ron: Um, we're recording it the last moments I could with the window closed because my bedroom gets all of the sun late in the day. So I wake up a lovely temperature and then, um, uh, yeah, been recovering from the wedding just vegetating the last two days. And just in this airless box.

Laura: Yeah, it's not good, man. We've had builders and, uh, the front of our house currently doesn't have any way to keep Mackie in. And she's so interested in what these builders are doing. So we've had to have the doors closed, which my natural inclination is to sort of live in a wind tunnel with as many doors and windows open as possible. But we've had to have them shut, uh, to keep the dog from going out and licking cement and stuff.

Ron: So hideous.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: How is COTP?

Laura: COTP is good. She is a bit crankety in the heater tea. She doesn't want to eat, and she can't sleep. You know, she is all of us. She's an everyman when it gets hot, man. But I took her paddle boarding the other day. That was good fun.

Ron: Oh, fun. You guys did that around this time last year, right?

Laura: Yeah. She's such a brave little beast. The sea is so calm this week. So we went out on the actual sea. Obviously, husband of the podcast didn't come because he's like, no, won't go in the sea. So it was me and Louise, friend of the podcast, Louise and charter the podcast. And we went out and charter the podcast. Was having a whale of a time. She was climbing between paddle boards. She was trailing her feet. She loved it, man. And then I took dog of the podcast on the paddleboard. She did not like it at all. Um, I got scratched a buggery. And then we put her back on the beach. Um, but it was lovely, man. It was so nice out paddleboarding. I'm strongly considering buying a paddleboard now.

Ron: That's cool. I don't get the paddle boarding thing, only because I don't see how it's better than, like, canoeing or kayaking.

Laura: Well, I think it's just easier to transport, like, these inflatable paddle boards just come in a big rucksack, so you just boop it up, poof. M off you go.

00:05:00

Laura: And you can do a bit of stand up, you can do a bit of sit down. I guess you could get inflatable kayaks, I guess. Yeah, I think it's largely the same. Same Z's, you know?

Ron: Yeah, I just like to sit.

Laura: Yeah, but you can sit on a paddle board. I was just sitting cross legged paddle boarding along. Loved it.

Ron: I never done that.

Laura: Had a lovely time. Had a lovely time. Hey, thanks, everybody. That gave us a five star review on Spotify. We hit our, uh, nice, clean 105 star reviews. No one's given us a review that wasn't five stars. Thanks, legends. And then we overshot the mark, and we're now on 102 five star reviews. So I now need 98 more legends to get involved and get us to another nice, round number. So if you could all please step on that.

Ron: We're not at, ah, a crisp five on Apple anymore.

Laura: No. Well, we got the one star review from the meaty tad.

Ron: Oh, yeah. Fuck that. Ah, person.

Laura: Yeah, fuck that meaty tad. But the meaty tad's one star review did make some other people leave us five star reviews in retaliation. So I like how spiteful a lot of our listeners are. I enjoy that. How dare you have an opinion that's different to mine and wrong. Five stars. Stamp down your shitty one shit star and put all these shiny ones on top of it.

Ron: It's a bit of a.

Problem squared podcast has fantastic Beck Hill coming on to talk about teeth

Elephant in the room is we haven't recorded the episode that we're doing the intro for. We're about to do that. So what do we talk about? We can't tease.

Laura: We can't use anything wrong because we haven't done it. And we're about to. We're so. Well, we're kind of not as behind anymore because we do have. Oh, hello, child of the podcast. Hello. Uh, what do you want to say to Ron? Say hi. She says, hello, Ron.

Ron: Say, I say hello back.

Laura: Ron says, hello back.

Ron: Say, I love you.

Laura: Ron says, love you. She says, love you too. Oh, she said, actually said, ron, I love you. Mhm. She's so cool.

Ron: She's cute.

Laura: She can say her full name now, which I will not say here because apparently I can't remember to edit things out of the podcast because I'm a full idiot. Uh, um, um. So she's going for a nap. That's fun. She's refusing to learn the builders names. And so he just stands there going, hi, man. Hi, man. And it makes her sound a bit like a californian surfer. It also really makes me laugh, I think, because Tom says guys a lot. Like, bye, guys. Like things like that. When she goes to nurseries, she knows who all her key workers are. But then, like, she's listing off who she's going to see. She's like, I'm going to see blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And the guys and all the children are just the guys, which I find dead cute. Um, yeah, we haven't done the episode because we have recorded twice this week because we're trying to get back ahead of ourselves. We like to have a few in the bag. But we recorded next week's episode at the beginning of the week because we have a guest next week. We have fantastic Beck Hill. Yes. Who is coming on to kick off third year, um, in style with a whole episode dedicated to her favourite scientific subject, teeth. We had a great time, didn't we, Ron?

Ron: We did. Yes. I was playing it very cool, but I'm a big fan. The problem squared podcast is very, very good for nerds.

Laura: You do go quiet when we have guests. I love it. You get all like, ew.

Ron: I'm a nice man.

Laura: Cause I'm so exuberant. And a natural presenter.

Ron: Well, yeah. Cause I'm not a professional. Um, it's difficult.

Laura: Does it make you realise my level of skill?

Ron: It should, uh, yeah. Props. Shoes for good. She dialled in from her cartoon dressing room.

Laura: Yeah. Didn't she look like she lived in an episode of the Simpsons?

Ron: It was the most Beck Hill thing I've ever seen.

Laura: It was wonderful. I loved it. Um, yeah, so we've done a whole episode on the science of Teeth. A bit of tooth evolution in mammals, a bit of wacky teeth in the animal kingdom, a bit of just tooth chat. How do we all feel about teeth? So that will be next week's episode, so we can tease next week's episode.

Ron: Beck Hill feels very positively about teeth.

Laura: Yeah. She was firmly camp Laura in the whole, are you allowed to keep teeth? But we won't spoil too much?

Ron: No.

Laura: Yeah.

It's a chemistry revision, so it shouldn't be too painful

All right, well, should we do an episode? It's a chemistry revision, isn't it? So it shouldn't be too painful.

Ron: Yeah. Um, it's the first chemistry revision.

Laura: Is it?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, I thought we'd done one before.

00:10:00

Ron: Nope.

Laura: Uh oh, lovely. Oh, it'll be all the fun stuff then, won't it?

Ron: Yeah. And we've got dynamite notes from back then.

Laura: Yeah. Or have we, though? Because I didn't start the notebook until slightly later, did I, on my side? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good point.

Ron: I've written over three pages just for episode one.

Laura: Whoa. Yeah, yeah. My notes start at episode four, so that's biology one, isn't it?

Ron: Mmm hmm. You m. Tell your child to shut the fuck up, please.

Laura: Yeah, she don't want to go to bed. I'd love a nap right, now.

Ron: Please do the sound effects properly for this episode

Where are you gonna put the sound effect in for the start of the lesson?

Ron: Ron?

Laura: Do you wanna put it now? No, no, no, no. It's the school bell ring. Please do the sound effects properly. I'm so stressed about this episode because normally, even when it's a. You edit, I add, ah, the intros, outrositive, um, those sound effects, and then I cheque the sound levels and stuff. And then I upload it with the show notes this week because I'm leaving for Glastonbury and I won't have my computer. Ron is doing a whole edit unsupervised. I won't listen. And he is uploading it.

Ron: Um, I'm not going to do the sound effects properly because I don't have the right sound effect. And actually if you listen back to any of the ones where I've done the intros and outros, I have just ring done something like that. Or sometimes I put in the air horn.

Laura: Ron, we've hit a point though, where people are specifically asking in the discord how much is the air horn used this episode, I can't handle it, so I don't know how much we should be using the air horn.

Ron: I don't use it that much. It's a sound effect. I use absolute minzy m sound effects. Bullshit. Did someone ask that?

Laura: Uh, uh, they did, actually. Jasper, just, just ignore my child needing me. It's fine.

Ron: Um, um, yeah, uh, I think, I think it's good for Jasper to hear an air horn every now and again.

Laura: Okay, well, air horn, I think it's.

Ron: Just what the doctor ordered.

Laura: I'm not entirely sure that that follows medical protocol.

Ron: Um, um. You know, they could have invented the air horn for summoning.

Laura: Do you think the air horn got invented after, you know, when you put a piece of grass between your thumbs? Boo.

Ron: I do think it got precocious after that.

Laura: Yes. But do you think that was the natural precursor to the air horn? No.

Ron: What do you think the design function of the air horn is? I reckon it was to scare birds. Um.

Laura: Um. Or like, oh, I'm trapped down a mine.

Ron: They're air horns are pneumatic devices that create a loud horn noise for signalling purposes.

Laura: Thanks. The Internet.

Ron: Yeah. Oh, so they're. Yeah, they're for safety. Safety mainly not for scaring birds.

Laura: I win. The scarecrow is for scaring birds.

Ted: I did my speech acapella at my wedding

Ron: Oh, Laura, where the wedding was at the weekend, I got to use a megaphone for the first time.

Laura: Whoa.

Ron: It was a life.

Laura: What, like an iPhone 15 Pro?

Ron: No, no, like one of the.

Laura: Hello.

Ron: Yeah, you know, like speaking through a big cone.

Laura: Did you have to do your speech through a big cone?

Ron: No, I did my speech acapella, if I'm using that right.

Laura: Um, what, you like tap on your knees all the way through?

Ron: No, I didn't do that.

Laura: Two other guys behind you going, I first met the groom. I, uh, first met the groom. Shut up, Ted.

Ron: Um, no, did it without assistance.

Laura: Um, how did your speech go down?

Ron: Oh, the speech. I absolute writing the speech. I absolutely smashed, um, my husband to the podcast. He did help. Yes. Um, several people asked for copies of it. It went down so well. I was not good at. I had to keep stopping because I.

Laura: Was crying did you cry? Loads.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I can't wait to watch that video. I'm gonna cry watching you cry.

Ron: What video?

Laura: Is there no video?

Ron: Why would it have been videoed?

Laura: Because people video their weddings. You absolutely dip shit.

Ron: I didn't. I didn't see anyone take any videos at all.

Laura: Huh. Huh. That's sad.

Ron: I don't think they thought of that.

Laura: This is why I should have been invited. This is why I should have been chief bridesmaid. It's frankly embarrassing. Maybe I

00:15:00

Laura: should become a wedding planner. Hey, how are you doing with book club, by the way?

Ron: Uh, because of the wedding, I'm very far behind. I'm like, so you're not reading it, you're listening to it so you can power through it.

Laura: Yeah, and I've listened to it before.

Ron: Yeah, no, um, I'm really far behind.

Laura: Oh, Ron.

Ron: Yeah?

Laura: Where are you up to?

Ron: Um, the wife's just died.

Laura: Oh, Ron, you're right at the beginning. Yeah.

Ron: I'm sorry. Such a slow reader that Sarah picked a book that's a thousand fucking pages long.

Laura: Yeah, it's a real saga, man. You need to get on that. You've got a train to Brussels tomorrow. You need to read it.

Ron: Um, no, that's not true.

Laura: Uh, I wasn't listening when you described your life earlier.

Episode 107 is the magic number. Yes, it is. My favourite number

Ron: Um, anyway, episode 107. 107. My favourite number.

Laura: Um, 107 is the magic number.

Ron: Yes, it is. Um, Laura. Chemistry revision. Do you remember what we started with on chemistry?

Laura: El piriodico tableau.

Ron: Yes. Which was invented by Linnaeus? No.

Laura: Aristotle?

Ron: No.

Laura: Fleming.

Ron: No. Russian lad.

Laura: Vladivostok. Piranelli. Jakob.

Ron: Hang on.

Laura: Are, uh, you trying to remember or are you farting? What is happening?

Ron: Hang on.

Laura: Are you gonna sneeze? I'm tickling you on the video screen with the tissue to make the sneeze come out. Tickle, tickle, tickle.

Ron: You actually make my nose. Hang on. Stop talking for 1 second, please. Please.

Laura: Are you trying to think of a pun to get me to remember it?

Ron: Okay. Um. What might you call it if a group of people that weren't women were late to a Mendeleyev? Yes.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: So glad you got it from that because I could not think of something that would get you to ev.

Laura: Oh, he was the pea guy.

Ron: No, that was Mendel.

Laura: You just should have said the pea guy. I remember that. I remembered that for, like, 20 years since you.

Ron: Yes, but he's not the pea guy.

Laura: Yeah, but it's the same, isn't it?

Ron: Mendeleev and Mendel.

Laura: You can hear the similarity, though, right?

Ron: Yeah. The first two syllables, but.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, but that doesn't mean they're the same person. That would be insane.

You don't know what a row and a column are, Ron

Um, so talk me through the periodic table. Or how does it work? What do all the numbers mean?

Laura: Right. Okay. So, uh, you've got. You've got columns going from left to right. And you've got rows going from top to bottom. Uh uh.

Ron: No, it's one of your more embarrassing oversights, I think, that you don't know what a row and a column are.

Laura: Rows are the top to bottom. Z's.

Ron: No, they're not.

Laura: Yeah. The rows go from top to bottom. There's a top row and that goes to the bottom.

Ron: That's the. That's fucking unhinged.

Laura: And the columns go from left to right.

Ron: That's insane.

Laura: No. What are you fucking talking about? That's correct.

Ron: Columns are up. Downers.

Laura: Yeah, but the columns themselves are stacked left to right.

Ron: Because if the columns see that that.

Laura: Was insane, they would be one stick.

Ron: You have to see that was an insane.

Laura: No, no. The contents of the column goes.

Ron: I think if you were at the Parthenon. If you were at the Parthenon and you saw this solace shout.

Laura: Because Charlotte pockets is trying to go to sleep.

Ron: I can shout all I want.

Laura: Listen, snake head. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Listen to me being right, technically, the, uh, contents of the column, the components of the column, go top to bottom. But the columns themselves go from left to. To fucking right.

Ron: But I think if you went to the Acropolis and you saw the Parthenon and you said to someone, look at those columns going from left to right, they'd say, no, those columns are going from up to down.

Laura: No. Because if you think about that bit in Hercules, you know, when he falls over and knocks them all down like dominoes. The feature there is that they are all stacked, like, in a row. Whereas if you're looking at one to two shooting columns, then you might think about the fact that they're going up.

Ron: Your brain works in a baffling

00:20:00

Ron: way.

Laura: No, I'm just able to distinguish between the contents of a column and the columns themselves.

Ron: But this is a.

Laura: We're literally reading a book all about columns right now, Ron.

Ron: Yeah. I can't stand. I've said. I've started skipping the cathedral descriptions.

Laura: I really like them. I think it would be a mason. Apart from the times that they describe how coughing everybody is. That works on the cathedral.

Ron: Yeah. A lot of dust in the old lungs.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: And when he killed that lad with a hammer.

Laura: Woof.

Ron: Yeah.

What defines the element? Each square has a letter which describes the element

Laura: Anyway, so the first. So each, uh, uh, each square is an what they called an element.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Um, it has a letter which describes the element. So, for example, hydrogen is the first one.

Ron: What letter is that?

Laura: That's h. Um, what letter is gold? Is it ag for gold?

Ron: That's silver.

Laura: That's silver. Gold. Au because most gold is found in Australia.

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Um, so then top right, you've got the atomic number, I think. Is that the number of neutrons? It has electrons, protons. What's the atomic number on the.

Ron: Which. What if you had to submit a guess for a pub quiz? What would you say? What defines the element? What's an ion?

Laura: An ion is when the number of neutrons has changed.

Ron: What's an isotope?

Laura: I don't know.

Ron: What's a neutron?

Laura: Um, the ones in the.

Ron: Nucleus. Uh, what's a proton?

Laura: Positive. Gobbit.

Ron: And where are they?

Laura: Uh, around the nucleus.

Ron: And what about electrons?

Laura: They are the little negative guys in orbitz.

Ron: So describe what you think an atom is with the. So the neutrons are in the nucleus. And then protons are, uh, around the nucleus, but not in orbit.

Laura: Maybe they're in the nucleus too. Maybe they're in the nucleus too. Because they're at the sound desk, aren't they?

Ron: They're the band.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: They're the positive vibes.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. So they are in the nucleus with the neutrons. Yeah. What defines the element?

Laura: The. The protons.

Ron: The protons. Yes.

Laura: In the nucleus.

Ron: Because the nucleus defines the element. Because an ion is oh, when you've.

Laura: Lost or it's a it's a something with a charge.

Ron: Yes. And it gets the charge by losing.

Laura: Or gaining an electron.

Ron: Exactly. Because they're in orbit. So you can lose or gain them. Whereas protons are in the nucleus. So taking or removing them fundamentally changes the element. An isotope is when there's a is the differing numbers of neutrons. Because neutrons are neutral. They don't change anything other than the mass of the element. So then that's why they're isotopes of the same element. Element.

Laura: So the atomic number is the number of protons.

Ron: Exactly. Yes.

Laura: Yes. Okay. What's the other number in there is the weight.

Ron: How come they're all decimals?

Laura: Just just things don't always weigh around number, do they?

What's the unit of the atomic mass? Uh, micrograms

Ron: Well, what's the unit of the atomic mass?

Laura: Uh, uh, micrograms.

Ron: What's a microgram?

Laura: A thing I just made up.

Ron: Hubris. No, you didn't.

Laura: Is it a microgram?

Ron: No. Because a microgram, there's only a thousand micrograms to a gramme.

Laura: Right.

Ron: So for example, if this was, if that was true and it was micrograms for some, for

00:25:00

Ron: an element like uranium, there'd be fewer than five atoms per gramme.

Laura: That's a big atom.

Ron: Far too big, I'd say.

Laura: Yeah. That's not feasible.

Ron: No. Um, would you like to try again?

Laura: Kilogramme. No.

Ron: No.

Laura: That's a thing.

Ron: Fucking insane.

Laura: Uh, a mini microgram. Milligramme. Milligramme. A nanogram.

Ron: I've got my micros. Milligramme would be less than five uraniums. Microgram would be less than 2000. But still not that. No. Look at hydrogen.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What's the atomic mass of that?

Laura: 1.008.

Ron: Okay. What's the uh, atomic number for that one? So could you have us a guess what the unit for the atomic mass is? What's a protogram? Uh, this is classic just saying stuff. Stop trying to shoehorn the word Grammy.

Laura: Okay? Proton mass.

Ron: Yeah. It's basically the mass of a proton. We use the 12th of the mass of carbon twelve to work it out.

Laura: Oh yeah. God, I forgot about all this bullshit.

Ron: Carbon twelve f. But that doesn't answer why they're all, uh, why they're all.

Laura: Because neutrons and um, electrons weigh like a real itty bitty, bitty amount, I think. You don't even bother counting electrons.

Ron: Yeah, you don't bother counting electrons at all. But that still is not why it's a decimal. What were we just talking about?

Laura: With isotopes, sometimes you lose or gain neutrons.

Ron: Uh, you don't necessarily lose or gain them, but some, there are different atoms of the same element will have a varying amount.

Laura: So this is an average?

Ron: This is an average, yes.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: What does it need?

Laura: Does each one have, are uh, all atoms isotopes or is there a standard? Is, uh, there one that's like the pure version and all the others are isotopes, if you know what I mean.

Ron: There's a most common for all of them. Um, but they're all isotopes of each other. Isotope just kind of means like variation sort of.

Laura: So there's no one that's considered hydrogen. The standard is four neutrons, for example.

Ron: No, well, it's considered, well, hydrogen, the standard is it just being a proton on its own that is considered the standard because the vast, vast majority of hydrogens are that. But that doesn't make it.

Laura: Yeah, it's the one it should be.

Ron: Yeah. Not specifically it's the one. Well, it's the one that it is by physics mostly. And there must be a reason for that. But, um. Yeah, it's not. There's no word for that. It's not like the primary. Well, there might be, to be honest. I don't know. Okay, um.

So when I say carbon twelve, Laura, what does that mean?

So when I say carbon twelve, Laura, what does that mean?

Laura: Yeah. Fuck. Did we do this this early? Uh.

Ron: Uh, probably. I don't know. We're just sort of talking about this revision, though, so we don't have to start right at the beginning, do we?

Laura: No, it's, um. Um. Oh, God, this is like itching the edge of my brain. Carbon twelve. There was like a big sum that you did if you times it all up and then divided it down and that gave you, like, a base.

Ron: I think you're thinking of moles. That's not what I m. Oh, uh, am I? Yeah. Carbon twelve. What about carbon 13?

Laura: A baker's carbonous.

Ron: A baker's carbon. There's the episode title. Done. Um.

Laura: Um. Carbon twelve. I can't remember.

Ron: Ron, have a look at your periodic table and try and work it out.

Laura: Well, carbon is 12.01 for an atomic number of six group 14.

Ron: Yep. So what do you think the difference between carbon twelve and carbon 13 is based off the info you have there, which is the atomic number, which we know for carbon can't change because that defines the element. And then we've got the atomic mass, which is an average.

00:30:00

Laura: This is where I would put in the cricket sound effect.

Ron: I don't have to because the birds are doing it quite well. Um, you have two available bits of information, Laura.

Laura: I do, yes.

Ron: One of them, I'm saying, can't change because that defines the element. So that always stays the same. And the other one is the atomic mass, which isn't a round number because it's an average. An average means that it's made up of varying different numbers.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: So what do you think? Given also that the atomic mass of carbon is 12.01, the difference between carbon twelve, carbon 13 could be.

Laura: But what do you want me to say? A new atomic weight?

Ron: Yeah. They're different isotopes of each other. One weighs twelve, one weighs 13.

Laura: I didn't really understand what you were asking for.

Ron: I was asking what carbon twelve is. It's a specific isotope. So what's the difference between twelve and 13? Carbon twelve and carbon 13.

Laura: Carbon thirteen's got an extra neutron.

Ron: Exactly, yes. Well done. So.

Laura: Oh, uh, yeah. So you. You. You work out, like, how many, like, heliums weigh the same as a carbon twelve?

Ron: Um, that's just where they get the atomic mass from. Yeah.

Laura: Okay. What the original question was that we were trying to work out.

Ron: I was asking you what carbon twelve was.

Laura: It's an isotope.

Ron: Yeah. That weighs twelve.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Laura, how many neutrons are there in some zinc? 65.

Laura: Uh, 60. Uh, five.

Ron: Talk me through that one.

Laura: Cause it weighs 65.

Ron: And is it all neutrons?

Laura: No.

Ron: What else is in there?

Laura: Oh, wait a minute. 30 protons.

Ron: Yeah. How much do they weigh?

Laura: Oh, 35 neutrons, Ron.

Ron: There we go. Yes, yes, yes, yes. What about some molybdenum? 98.

Laura: Minus, uh, 50. Uh, six, Ron.

Ron: Did people vote on that yet? Did people like that episode

Ron: All right, cool.

Laura: I think molybdenum featured in the first episode of Boy and see join the Patreon.

Ron: Did people vote on that yet?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: What was in the picture?

Laura: Um, well, we haven't finished. I mean, the vote can stay open, I guess, until you want to write episode two. Um, hang on, let me find it.

Ron: Do people like that episode?

Laura: I think so, Ron. Yeah. You could cheque and interact in any way if you fancied it.

Ron: I'm off social media.

Laura: Well, Patreon doesn't count as social media, though, does it? And neither does discord, really. So at the moment, the painting being of Cochi Brown herself is on 55%. In second place is a beaver.

Ron: Maybe we'll combine the two, have it be of KOtu Brown's beaver.

Laura: Oh, no. What if Kotu Brown's been a beaver this whole time?

Ron: No, I'm talking about a vag.

Laura: No, Ron, please don't make it a sexy story. Our podcast is already weird without us reading sexy stories to each other.

Ron: Us, as siblings, wrote a porno.

Can you describe any of the properties of lithium, sodium and potassium

Um, all right. Um. Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura. What? The rows, they go from left to right. What do they denote about the structure of the atoms in them?

Laura: The number of electrons in.

Ron: No, you pull that thread, you're not a million miles away.

Laura: I was gonna say the number of electrons in the outer shell.

Ron: That's not quite right. But you're thinking about shells, and I'm really proud.

Laura: The number of shells they have.

Ron: Yes, Laura, yes.

Laura: The number of shells they have.

Ron: Well done. Well done indeed. Um, great. And then the columns that they're in, these are called groups. Why are they organised like that?

Laura: Um, is it similarly behaving? Um, elements. So they have similar reactivity, um, features, and then they tend to get more

00:35:00

Laura: reactive as they go down the group.

Ron: Uh, it actually depends on that last bit, but, yes, similarly reacting elements. So. And why is that, Laura? Why? Why does lithium behave in the same way as sodium behave in the same way as potassium?

Laura: Because it has the same number of electrons in its outer shell.

Ron: Which is how many for them?

Laura: One for them.

Ron: Which makes it, uh, which. Um. Can you describe any of the properties of lithium, sodium and potassium?

Laura: I think they are quite reactive then, because they can either lose. They can lose that electron very easily.

Ron: 100%, yeah. Why is potassium more reactive than lithium?

Laura: Because it has one electron and it's in a fourth shell, so it's less tightly held onto because it's further away from the protons.

Ron: Laura, I've never been happier or more impressed with knowledge that you've retained. Really well done.

Laura: This is glorious. I'm gonna tell everyone about this at Glastonbury this weekend.

Ron: Um, nice. Um, okay.

Laura: I'm just lex. Ed live would go down really well at Glastonbury. Maybe I'll try and sow that seed this weekend.

Ron: Oh, yes, I'd love free Glastonbury tickets.

Laura: I gave you some two years ago, Laura.

Ron: I literally had Covid.

Laura: Boo.

Ron has hay fever and is trying to take enough medication

Ron: Um, so apparently in episode two, we went through sort of the history of understanding of the atom.

Laura: Yeah. Wasn't that plum pudding and stuff?

Ron: No, like, we went further back. Um, in ancient indian philosophy, it says.

Laura: Here in my own notes, I remember you telling me all about this because you wasted so much of my focus by telling me stuff that wasn't true. This was your approach. Early doors, you'd be like, here's what we used to think it was. And then my brain would go, it's a plum pudding. And then here I am two years later, like, plum pudding. Plum pudding.

Ron: Plum pudding actually is in the syllabus, though. The ancient indian stuff. Oh, yeah. No, I think to be fair, I was trying to give some less white boy context, uh, to everything that was going on.

Laura: Yeah. Do you remember how much you used to care back then, Ron?

Ron: Yeah. And then I get complained for caring because you're like, don't tell me things that aren't literally in the syllabus because I have a rotten fart in my head.

Laura: Yeah. But I think the listeners like it.

Ron: Yeah, I think they probably did. It really looked like you just factory reset. You just kind of went, like, kind of went cross eyed and stared into the middle distance. What's going on, mate?

Laura: I don't know if you can see how hay fevery I am. Um, I'm hoping it's not sounding too bad, but my eyes just feel so full of grit. Um, I'm having so many issues. Cause I'm working quite a lot at the moment. Um, so I'm trying to take enough hay fever medication that I can cope. But then I'm so drowsy that last night, it was so annoying. I had to pull over and have a sleep 20 minutes from home because I could not safely drive the. And I was sort of doing that thing where I was going, you're literally at peas pottage, you're so close to home. But then I was like, no, this is dangerous. Like, you have to go to sleep. And I'd even. Because I was so sleepy. Um, and I'd bought some haribo on Saturday because I was doing a faraway gig on Saturday. So I bought this bag of Haribo, which I hadn't needed in the end. I had different sugar. But then in the heat in the car this week, the haribo had all melted down into just a slab in the back. So I was there driving home last night, gnawing this, like, slab of, like, Harobo. It's just like a. Sort of like a steak of tangy sugar. Just trying to chew that tank fastics. Yeah, it was like melted down a slab of tank fastics just out of a packet, just like eating it off the plastic. The steering wheel is an ant. Um, festival this morning. It's disgusting, but I had to pull over for sleep. And it's like a combo of being tired from being up with child on the podcast, but also just trying to smash enough hay fever meds that I can see. It's horrible.

Ron: Yeah, that does sound grim. You don't do the. Open all the windows and put some really loud music on to keep you awake.

Laura: Did it all. Did it all, mate. Did it all. I was singing to myself, had the windows open. But then I just hit a point where I go, like, why are you racing to get home, stop and go to sleep? Which I don't mind doing that. I have been doing that. I never needed to before trial the podcast, because obviously I could just sleep in in the mornings and get done. But now I don't mind

00:40:00

Laura: pulling over, but when you're that close to home and you're going, God, this is frustrating, but your body doesn't know that you're that close to home.

Ron: Yeah, that's fair. Uh, m I'm so glad I don't get hay fever.

Laura: Yeah, it's not nice. No, it's not nice. But, you know, it's.

Dave Grohl is excited about seeing Coldplay at Wembley this weekend

At least it's a short thing. It's not like I have it all year, like some people, just like, you know, sister of the podcast, being celiac. I'll take hay fever over that. Thanks, mate.

Ron: Yeah, that's bleak. Um, yeah. Oh, we're going to see green day at the weekend.

Laura: That's exciting.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Where are you seeing them?

Ron: Wembley.

Laura: Ooh. I've never been to Wembley.

Ron: Me neither. I've never been to a, um, an arena gig before.

Laura: No, I had a dream the other day that I met Taylor Swift at one of hers. But it was just a dream.

Ron: Oh yeah, they were like four. Cuz like we've discussed this before, but I find the whole Taylor Swift thing really, really funny because like she's such a cultural phenomenon that is just like that. I genuinely think just passes large swathes of the population completely by because like media, uh, and stuff has gotten so diffuse, you know, like not everyone's watching the same four tv programmes anymore. So like loads of people love her, but lots of people just never hear her music. I was at the wedding on Saturday and there were like five people that had all been out of about a hundred that had all been at a Taylor Swift gig the night before.

Laura: Uh, it is a. I mean it is a massive tour. It's adding like a billion to the UK economy or something because of how huge it is. Yeah, it's absolutely massive. But here's the thing. So Robin went noise next door fan of the podcast, we'll call him not friend. Um, he went and he was like, it's 3 hours long and she does like 48 songs. Yeah, she doesn't have a support act. And I was like, I really liked Hilla Swift. She's one of my top listened to artists. It suits me down to the ground. It is as middle of the road as music gets. And I'm, um, here for it. I could not sit there for 3 hours just watching somebody sing really far away in different sparkly outfits. Are you fucking mad? I can't think of anything worse.

Ron: I know someone that's been four times or at least has tickets for four of the shows.

Laura: That's insanity.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I don't get it. Like, if I was gonna go and see live music, which is not something I would, you know, I'm famously not that fussed about music. I think a stadium tour like that, maybe somebody like Green Day or the Rolling Stones, like somebody that is been around for so long that I'm like, okay, they're kind of iconic, maybe that, but I'd much rather go and see something in a small experience. Like I don't really get. Get like watching somebody really tiny, far away and you're sort of pretty much watching it on screens.

Ron: No. Yeah. And like, you know, it's a bit different at, uh, a festival because that's more about the weekend and there's a whole vibe going on and stuff. And also, like, you'll pay the same. You'll pay less for a decent festival ticket than you will for taylor Swift tickets.

Laura: Yeah. Um, I am quite excited, though. I'm going to Glastonbury this weekend. I'm very excited about the gipsy kings. I just can't wait for that. That's going to be amazing. And quite excited about cat Empire, but I am, like, I'm pretty excited about seeing Coldplay. I think they're going to put on a really good stage show. It can't be a few years ago.

Ron: Yeah, I don't know.

Laura: I try.

Ron: Coldplay are another one that, like, is crazy to me that they still, you know, are, uh, headlining Glastonbury and stuff because I couldn't name. I think the last Coldplay song I could name was like, viva la Vida.

Laura: And that's no idea what their new music is.

Ron: Yeah, it's interesting that there's like, like another just like, huge cultural thing that's just completely slipping past. Yeah, my housemates went to see the foo fighters the other day and again, similarly. It's just like, I. Yeah, I didn't. I wouldn't. I know Dave Grohl is obviously only getting more and more famous, but, like, I couldn't name any of their, like, um, music, um, since, like, ever long.

Laura: No, yeah, but I mean, it's more surprising that you don't because you keep up with music. But unless Miley Cyrus releases it, I pretty much don't know what is coming out.

Ron: Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I don't know. Um. It'll be interesting, though.

Ancient Indian philosophers came up with the idea of atoms in the 8th century

The only annoying thing is that the last train back is at like half eleven. Um, so we might have to leave a bit before they stop playing.

Laura: Do you have to go back?

Ron: Yeah. Didn't want to get a hotel.

Laura: Why didn't you get a train to Brighton? Stay here.

Ron: That will be what we're doing. If we miss that train, I won't.

Laura: Be there, but Tom will welcome you with open arms.

Ron: Lovely.

Laura: You can see my new wall.

Ron: Hmm. When's that done? Um.

Laura: Um, I think probably by the end of tomorrow.

Ron: That's cool and nice that those steps are getting fixed. They were scary.

Laura: Yeah,

00:45:00

Laura: they're done now. They're just sitting outside drying off.

Ron: Lovely. Um. Um, so, um, um, it's getting more.

Laura: And more like the jaws theme tune, isn't it?

Ron: And it. Yeah, the end does end is basically jaws. Um, just like in the podcast in ancient indian philosophy, Laura. Yeah, they basically came up with atoms in the 8th century BCE.

Laura: Yeah. And then they invented zero, maybe.

Ron: Um, the vedic sage, the vedic sage aruni, um, said particles too small to be seen massed together into the substance and objects of experience, which is kind of insane. Um, yeah, um, there were a few different schools of thought that progressed in India over the next few centuries, mainly differing in how many different atoms. They thought there were four, representing the four elements, or 25.

Laura: Well, pretty good guesses. Those would have been my two guesses had you asked.

Ron: Uh, then a couple of hundred years later, the Greeks started talking about it. Um, we, uh, um. Yeah, there was way more stuff on that, but basically, um, Leucippus and his, his, uh, but his boy democritus, um, they basically. Yeah, uh, uh, they also came up with the idea of atoms. Um, I think the, yeah, the, uh, his thing, he came up with the thought experiment of he had a branch and you snapped it in half and then you snapped one of those halves in half and so, and so, and so on, so on. What would you then end up with?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, and he came up with the idea of atoms.

Laura: I like that he had props, you know, it make him as a public speaker. You'd remember his little speech on the hill a bit more.

Ron: Yeah. He'd stroll onto the stage of his ted talk.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Wearing the glasses, holding a branch. Silence.

Laura: And that's going to reverberate around the amphitheatre. Um, yeah, lots of people going, whoa, do you think he can expense those branches?

Ron: I. Yeah, I.

Laura: Deductible branches. Another possible title there.

Ron: Um, he reasoned that the properties of the material corresponded to the properties or the shape of the atoms involved.

Laura: Yeah, not stupid.

Ron: Iron atoms are solid and strong with hooks that lock them into a solid, whereas water atoms are smooth and slippery. Um, salt atoms, because of their taste.

Laura: Are sharp and pointed, not correct, but not thick. That's how I would.

Ron: No. And I think, uh, considering that they had no way to know, it's not actually hugely wrong because the properties of the atoms do. It's just about electrons.

Laura: Yeah. Which, how could they possibly be expected to imagine up electrons?

Ron: Exactly. In the middle ages you, ah, had, uh, hindu philosophers thinking, uh, about it, saying that everything you experience is the result of aggregation of atoms in the interplay between atoms.

Mediaeval Buddhists considered atoms to be point sized, duration less

Laura: Um, it's sort of getting a bit homoeopathy esque there, isn't it?

Ron: How so?

Laura: Isn't that like, everything you experience is memory of stuff in water? And jobby jobbies.

Ron: Yeah. But the only bits of that sentence that you've carried over is the everything you experience part.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Ron: Uh, mediaeval Buddhists considered atoms to be point sized, duration less, and made of energy, um, which is, uh, very, very interesting that they thought they were made of energy because that's essentially relativity.

Laura: Yeah, it's kind of fascinating that they even had a concept of energy.

Ron: Yeah. Mediaeval muslim theologians were talking about how atoms were the only perpetual thing in the universe and everything else was just accidental or only occurred due to God.

Laura: Wrong.

Ron: Yeah, wrong. Oh.

Laura: If your science has God in it, it's not science anymore.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Um, I've lost my red glue stick.

Ron: How long have we been recording?

Laura: Um, 50 minutes.

Ron: Time for an outro then, I guess.

Laura: Oh, uh, yeah, if we're done.

Ron: Well, I mean, we're just recapping

00:50:00

Ron: so we can kind of stop whenever, really.

Laura: I'm going to go and have a peanut butter sandwich.

Ron: Oh, lovely.

Laura: Um, can you do the other sting? Oh, no. Then I.

Ron: Is that not it?

Laura: I don't know. I don't. I simply don't know, Ron.

Ron: Yeah, um, um, yeah, we'll pick back up from. And I'll make a note this time here today.

Laura: I think I did bloody well there.

Ron: You did. Like I said, I've never been more impressed or proud of you. Um, and I think have two peanut butter sandwiches, one for normal lunch and one as trophy lunche.

Laura: I'm gonna put a slab of tangfastics in it.

Ron: Yes, I am.

Do you think part of this problem you've got falling asleep at the wheel

I did want to talk to you about that, actually. Do you think part of this horrible problem you've got falling asleep at the wheel might be because you're medicating with sugar and not things like water and fibre?

Laura: No, I drank so much water as well, Ron. I was right driving home last night, okay, I knew I was tired, so I had, I had a whole bottle of water, um, as a snack for the first hour and a half of the drive. I had a packet of nuts.

Ron: Slow release energy.

Laura: Yeah. Prior, um, to that as my dinner, I'd had, ah, an egg mayo and cress sandwich. Eggs. The building block of the universe. Um, and then when I got super tired, I ate my slab of paraffin.

Ron: Okay, all right, you're excused.

Laura: Thank you. I did try, Ron. I tried really hard. Uh, I was at a gig last night, right, in Bedford. There were two people there called Gerard.

Ron: That's odd.

Laura: That's odd, isn't it? And also five people's phones went off in my 20 minutes set and all five of them had their ringtone on. And I thought, what the fuck is wrong with this town that there's two people called Gerrard and everybody's phones just beep when people ring them? This is insanity. I don't think I've been anywhere in my life where that many people didn't have their phones on silent.

Ron: I don't think I physically know what noise my phone would make if you were to ring it right now, not on silent. I don't know if I've ever heard that.

Laura: No, I think mine would be.

Ron: Do you want to ring me? We can see.

Laura: Yeah, I think mine would be. I wish it would be Christmas every day. Look, Ron, you're one of my three favourites in my phone. I can ring you really easily. Let's find out what Rong's ringtone is. Oh, that's horrible.

Ron: God, that's annoying.

Laura: That's really annoying. Okay, you try me. I'll see what mine is. I've got a new phone run, and I've put it in this really, really big case so that if I drop it, when I drop it, it won't smash.

Ron: Carol of the bell.

Laura: Because I love Christmas.

Ron: It's good. It's good.

Laura: You had to leave the video to do that, huh? Huh?

Ron: Apparently so.

Laura: Yeah. Um, well, I've picked my phone up now. Oh, double noise. No, I've gone again now. Um, well, that was fun. But isn't that weird? Two people called Gerard?

Ron: Yeah, two people.

Laura: Wait, does anybody know about the history of Bedford? Is there a famous Gerard in the history of Bedford?

Ron: We should plug stuff. Um. Join the Patreon, come to the cheerful earful festival.

Laura: Oh, yeah. Haven't even.

Ron: I'm thinking about that because that's at the Bedford in Balam.

Laura: It is at the Bedford in Balam. Good segue, Ron.

Got a nice shout out to my puppies this week on the podcast

Ron: Got a nice shout out to my puppies this week.

Laura: Did we?

Ron: Yeah, they would talk about cheerful earphone. They listed us in their friends of the podcast section.

Laura: Whoa. Even though Tom Parry doesn't think I'm funny, we are officially friends of puppies.

Ron: Didn't you go to uni with them? But they were, like, the year above.

Laura: Or something like a few years above. I don't think I was ever actually there at the same time as them. Um, and I'm not even entirely sure if they went there or they just lived in Canterbury. I don't know.

Ron: Interesting.

Laura: They were definitely around in the lore of the place.

Ron: Yeah. Yeah. But were they, like, people that were talked about? They were.

Laura: They were doing stuff I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, though, I'm a very self involved person, so I didn't pay much attention.

Ron: Yeah, I might go to the flat slam that they do after our gig if it's not the same time.

Laura: Yeah. Boy, we should try to get, um, on there. Yeah, ask them. They like you.

Ron: I

00:55:00

Ron: don't have any of their details.

Laura: Just shout it out of the window and hope.

Ron: Join the patreon and ask.

Laura: Yeah, um. Um. Don't do that. It seems a bit desperate.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I guess it depends how well they plan as to whether they get to a week before and see who's around on the day or if they book people significantly in advance.

Ron: I think it's going to be a bit of both. I think it will be. If they can get anyone better, they will.

Laura: When is ours? It's November. October. There. There it is. October the 20th. Yep. Oh, I have not planned that. Well, um. Oh, Ron, there's a good chance child of the podcast will be our guest on that episode, because by the looks of it, Tom is not home. Okay, listen, do that, everyone. Um. Uh, I'm gonna go to Glastonbury now. Well, actually, first of all, I'm gonna go to M and s and buy some cocktails to take to Glastonbury. And then I'm gonna go to Glastonbury. Ron, you're typing. What are you typing about?

Ron: It's, uh, just they're on at the same day, so I can do both. Great.

Laura: What time are they on? Get to 815, everyone. Oh, that's. That's a decent time. You've got time for a dinner after hours and a chill, and then you can go.

Ron: Trusty hogs are there. They're famous.

Laura: We love them.

Ron: Yeah. Uh, who else do we know? My mate bought a toaster. You were on that. Zoe Lyons. Is there a by the looks.

Laura: Zoe, what was Stephen?

Ron: Yeah, they're doing their podcast.

Laura: I finally got around to listening to the Adam and Joe Christmas special this week.

Stephen Margaret Caborn Smith from one of my favourite podcasts. And this year we're in the big room, so

Ron: Stephen Margaret Caborn Smith from one of my favourite podcasts. Is there.

Laura: Is she doing crush?

Ron: She is doing crushed.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. Lex education also there. Um, that's all the ones that I've. Oh, um, Abigail is there with neurodivergent moments. Ah.

Laura: Uh, there's so many friends of the podcast.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: What a great festival. Well, I'm looking forward to it. And this year we're in the big room, so. You absolutely have. And, um, it's just gonna be glorious and lovely.

Ron: Olga cox there as well. She's famous.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: All right. Bye, then.

Laura: Love you, Ron.

Ron: Love you, too, Laura. Weird energy when we're not doing it in all the different bits and bobs.

Laura: Yeah, the outro is really pointless, isn't it?

Ron: Yeah. Class dismissed. Oh.

Laura: Uh, no. Okay. Oh, that's nothing.

00:57:57