Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lexx Education.
Laura: It's the Comedy Science podcast, where comedian Me Laura tries to learn science from her comedy normal brother, Ron.
Ron: EW.
Ron: It's me, Ron.
Laura: Hi, Ron.
Laura: It's Halloween week.
Ron: Halloween.
Laura: Ron loves Halloween podcast.
Laura: Boop boop doop.
Laura: If you're a new listener to the podcast, hello.
Laura: Thanks for taking a punt on Lexx Education.
Laura: We have a lot of fun here.
Laura: It's very silly.
Laura: Enjoy this episode, then we suggest you make your way back to episode one and listen all the way through.
Laura: Binge away, my friends, and see us back here at the start, middle end when you get here.
Laura: How are you this week, Ron?
Ron: Yeah, good.
Ron: It's Friday.
Ron: Friday.
Ron: Got to get down on Friday, so I have a nine to five, so that's news for me.
Laura: You had a song ready for Friday but not nine to five?
Laura: Come on, Ron.
Laura: Come on, Ron.
Laura: You can't be the song reference guy if you don't do Dolly.
Ron: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Ron: Row back.
Ron: I'm the song reference person.
Laura: No, I said you can't be, but you did with the Friday thing, and then I thought, Well, I won't touch nine to five.
Laura: He's doing it this episode.
Ron: No.
Ron: Yeah, but that's the thing.
Ron: I'm not the song reference person.
Laura: So why did you do Friday?
Ron: Everyone Loves Rebecca black queer.
Laura: I don't disagree, Ron, but commit to the bit.
Laura: She slays.
Ron: She serves.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: What?
Ron: I know the lingo.
Ron: I'm down with the kids.
Laura: I don't know if you are.
Laura: Like you say, you're an old man with a nine to five.
Laura: We've actually recorded a lot this week, Ron.
Laura: We don't really know why we're doing intros outros for this episode.
Laura: We don't normally do them for special.
Ron: Episodes, really prepped them.
Laura: We don't have anything to say.
Laura: Why are we here?
Laura: No one knows.
Laura: We haven't got any birthdays.
Laura: It's no one's birthday this week.
Laura: Shove it up your b***.
Laura: If it is your birthday, you should have told us.
Laura: You should have told us.
Laura: Oh, I'll tell you what we did want to say, though.
Laura: We wanted to say if you're a listener and you love the podcast and you want to help us reach out to more listeners, there's a couple of things you can do.
Laura: One, leave us a five star review wherever you get your podcasts.
Laura: Two, you can become a patron to support us.
Laura: Three, a free thing you can do.
Laura: Grab your phone, record an under 32nd video of yourself talking about how much you love the podcast and why people should listen to it that you don't mind us using on our socials.
Laura: There you go.
Laura: Right, enjoy the episode.
Laura: Is that picking?
Laura: That's picking up my voice now.
Laura: Lovely, lovely chocolates.
Laura: Ron, you've eaten a lot of these chocolates.
Ron: You ate some of them.
Ron: Yeah, I have eaten a lot of them.
Laura: You have eaten a lot of them.
Laura: You best not have eaten all of any of them?
Ron: I don't think so.
Laura: I'll be living.
Ron: I've only had one of each because I've been trying to sample them all.
Laura: Anywho chocolates aside?
Laura: This is the box on it.
Laura: I did a job today and even though I was being paid handsomely, they bought me a box of chocolates to say thank you for turning up to work.
Ron: That is nice.
Laura: And it was so big it didn't fit in my rucksack, so I just had to carry it home from London like a cool dude.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Everyone's like, who's this international businesswoman that's being gifted some chocolate?
Ron: A Rene Zellwicker type?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Thanks, Ron.
Laura: I was on the train and I started opening them to eat them because I'd missed lunch and I was hungry and I really wanted to offer them to the people around me, but I didn't because I thought it would be weird.
Laura: I had a real case of the overthinks because they had, like, cellophane on them and I was unwrapping them and I was like, oh.
Laura: So I could offer them, because then people, they know that I've just opened them, like, I'm not being a creep, but then I was like but then they might think, why she's gone to the trouble to take the cellophane off now, only to offer them to us on a train.
Laura: They'll think I'm a poisoner, but I'm not a poisoner, so I just ate them myself.
Laura: But then I was worried they think I was mean.
Ron: One time I was on a train and I was so thirsty I almost asked a woman if I get some of water.
Ron: Is that weird?
Ron: That shouldn't be weird.
Laura: Water is a human right?
Laura: I think you're allowed to be like, I'm super thirsty, please can I Samaritan.
Ron: Sip some of your water?
Laura: It's not like, hey, can I just lick your tongue for moisture?
Laura: It's like you wanted a legit thing.
Laura: Yeah, I actually think I might be thirsty right now.
Laura: I was thinking about hydration today.
Ron: I actually am really thirsty.
Laura: I was thinking about the end of the world today and I was thinking, come the apocalypse, I'm going to be slightly better off than most people because I'm already dehydrated all the time.
Ron: I don't think that's true.
Laura: Yeah, everyone else is going to start getting headaches and stuff and feeling a bit s***** from being dehydrated and I'll be like, that's how I always feel.
Ron: So do you not think that you'll just be dehydrated to a worst degree first?
Laura: No, I think I'll be fine.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: I am going to have some water now, though.
Ron: Can I have some water?
Laura: You've got some water?
Ron: Can you get me some water?
Laura: No.
Ron: That'S a good one.
Laura: What one was that?
Laura: Oh, that's my favorite one, the florentine.
Ron: Very good.
Ron: Thank you.
Laura: I love I had lunch hoops today.
Laura: I must be paranoid today because then I was eating my lunch hoops and thinking how much I love lunch hoops.
Laura: And then I was like, I hope people don't think that us talking about foods we like on the podcast is requests for them to bring them to the live show.
Laura: Because I was thinking about the lunch hoops people brought to the live show.
Laura: Yeah, I'm having a paranoid day, I think.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: If anyone does want to bring me food to the next live show, can I please have wasabi peas?
Laura: I'm going to have this fudge sundae one.
Ron: The other one of those was good.
Laura: Anyway, Ron, what are we doing today?
Ron: So the listeners will already know because they'll have heard some spooky music on the way in because it's Halloween.
Laura: Yeah, we just rewind our WhatsApp conversation from you telling me about charge of the podcast.
Laura: P****** all over the bathroom.
Ron: She went f****** feral.
Laura: Do you know what was really fun?
Ron: She p***** in her room as well and then was just poking it with her foot.
Ron: And then I couldn't find anything to clean it up because every time I went to look for something, she was that was afterwards.
Ron: That was a different p***.
Laura: Why was she so long free of nothing?
Ron: She squatted on that weird rolly thing and p***** on it.
Laura: What weird rolly thing?
Ron: The thing that's got buttons on the front that you can push.
Laura: She p***** on that stroller.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Why was she so out of a.
Ron: Nappy for so long before the bath and after the bath?
Laura: Yeah, but there's no freedom time between and after the bath.
Ron: Well, why was she loose?
Ron: Well, I don't have a kid, so I'm not experienced in bathing children, so I wasn't really sure the best way of naked fying the child and then also having an appropriate temperature bath, run.
Laura: The bath, then take her clothes off.
Laura: Yeah, because a bath doesn't go ice cold instantly because of physics.
Ron: No.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: See, the system that I went for, and it was the wrong system, was.
Laura: Free the child of all p*** collection devices and then start running the bath.
Ron: There are so many more layers.
Laura: You tell me.
Laura: I'm choosing another chocolate.
Ron: I made a way too hot bath.
Laura: Oh, Ron, I'm going to go for this peanut butter one.
Ron: Then naked the child, then put cold water in until it was at appropriate temperature.
Laura: Not as good as a fudge sundae.
Laura: No, that's not the right way to do it.
Ron: No.
Laura: Then why would you loose after the.
Ron: Bath dried her had to get a nappy and clothes and stuff.
Laura: You set that up before the bath?
Ron: I got the clothes out.
Laura: Didn't find you a rotter there.
Laura: He should have showed you all that, ma'am.
Ron: He told me where it was.
Laura: She's a wriggler.
Ron: He didn't tell me where the pajamas were, which is why she's gone to sleep in daytime clothes.
Ron: Or are you weird enough that you've changed her?
Laura: No, I put an extra jumper on her because her room's a bit chilly.
Ron: I thought she'd be cold when I put her in that t shirt, but I didn't know where the jumpers were.
Ron: I just hugged her.
Laura: I did listen to some of your bathing her via the baby monitor.
Ron: Oh, yeah.
Laura: It sounded like you having fun.
Ron: Yeah, we were having fun.
Ron: We had a really nice afternoon together.
Laura: She's a good kid.
Ron: Yeah, she sat here for ages just playing with my bluetooth headphones.
Laura: Oh, fun.
Ron: Yeah, just not really doing anything.
Laura: Are they magnetized together?
Ron: Yeah, but she wasn't even doing that.
Ron: She was just holding them.
Laura: She's cool, man.
Laura: I like her a lot.
Ron: Yeah, but anyway, it's Halloween.
Laura: It's Halloween.
Ron: Can you guess from the pictures I sent you what we're doing?
Laura: Oh, the word has just vanished off my tongue.
Laura: But it's those, like, I don't want to try and say the word because this is where I end up saying stupid things.
Laura: Not croglodites.
Ron: Not croglodytes.
Laura: Why are they called that?
Laura: Like, oh, I know what cryptomancy craptomancy was.
Laura: It's crypto something.
Laura: What one is that?
Laura: What are you eating?
Laura: What are you eating?
Laura: Is that the carrot cake one really flobbed out?
Laura: I think that might be the carrot.
Ron: No, I think it's this one.
Laura: Cherry deluxe.
Laura: A kirch soaked cherry suspended in amaretto cream.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Crypto neptocrypto what's it called?
Laura: Cryo?
Laura: Crypto.
Laura: Zoolocrypt cryptozoology.
Laura: Cryptozoology.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: That word was bouncing around my head like a squash game.
Ron: Wow.
Laura: Crypto.
Laura: What is it called?
Laura: Zoo.
Laura: Crypto.
Laura: What was I just said it.
Laura: I just said it.
Laura: Cryptozoology.
Laura: Cryptozoology.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Cryptozoology.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Some words just don't stick in my head very well.
Ron: Crypto.
Ron: It's not real.
Ron: Like cryptocurrency worthless.
Laura: That's really gone away, hasn't it?
Ron: Yeah, where's it gone?
Ron: What was the new thing recently?
Ron: There was a new thing that was bullshit.
Ron: Can't remember.
Laura: We're really good podcast.
Laura: Crypto doodoo.
Laura: Crypto doo doo.
Ron: Cryptids.
Laura: Here's half an anecdote.
Ron: So cryptozoology is a pseudoscience.
Ron: According to Wikipedia, it's the study of cryptids.
Laura: These are like I think they mean pseudoscience.
Laura: I'll finish the tea.
Laura: You tell them what cryptozoology is, and I'll be listening.
Ron: Cryptozoology is the study room episode study of cryptids, which is basically I wouldn't really know how to summarize it.
Ron: It's kind of like made up s*** that the world just treats in a slightly higher regard than other made up s***.
Ron: Like somewhere in between folklore and science.
Ron: It's things that are in the maybe.
Laura: Pile, but they're not in the maybe pile, are they?
Ron: They're in the no, no, but almost kind of like ghosts.
Ron: Like if someone says they saw a ghost, you don't go, you're insane.
Ron: You go, no, but you don't.
Laura: I did, actually, at the weekend, but.
Ron: Agony dad swears blindly seen a ghost.
Laura: And I tell him he's an.
Laura: Um, you know, I sent you that picture of the Frankenstein thing at the weekend, so I did an escape room in Bath that was all around Frankenstein, Mary Shelley, etc.
Laura: And yeah, this woman at the beginning was sort of trying to tell us about all the ghosts in the house.
Laura: I was just I can't entertain it.
Laura: My brain just goes, but you didn't see a ghost.
Laura: And then she was like, oh, well, I was in a room and there was no wind.
Laura: And then I felt this breeze on the back of my neck.
Laura: I was like, so there was some wind because there was a breeze on the back in it.
Laura: That's not there was no wind, but there was a breeze despite there being no wind, that's there was some wind.
Laura: And that's the end of that conversation.
Laura: Oh, dust my head in.
Laura: Ghosts are not real.
Laura: No, but then that night oh, my God.
Laura: So I'd gone off on one at the Sting, and then in the middle of the night, the TV started, like, flashing on and off in the hotel room that I was in.
Laura: And I sat up in the night, like, found the remote turned off, and I was like, F***.
Laura: I bet this is because I was so adamant earlier that there are no ghosts and it's just lying there.
Laura: Like, I'm really crossed now.
Laura: I don't mind if there's ghosts, but let me sleep.
Ron: Yeah, but you know what I mean?
Ron: They sit in that in a weird space.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So what we're going to do is.
Laura: We'Re going to it's like Leprechauns and the Big Beast foot.
Laura: Bigfoot.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Ron: Too late to be recording the big beast.
Ron: We got the episode title out the way.
Laura: No one's going leprechaun hunting.
Laura: But people are after there's a squatch in these woods.
Laura: Do you remember that?
Laura: Yeah, brother in law of the podcast was obsessed with that show.
Ron: Hold that thought.
Ron: So what we're going to look at is four cryptids from around the world.
Laura: Do you know my favorite chupacabra?
Laura: Sorry?
Ron: Four cryptids.
Laura: I've been on my own for, like 3 hours.
Ron: Yeah, 2 hours.
Laura: 2 hours.
Ron: Four cryptids.
Laura: But for the half an hour before that, you weren't talking to me because you were prepping for DND.
Ron: Yeah, four cryptids from around the world.
Ron: And they're real life equivalents.
Laura: Oh, okay.
Laura: Fun.
Ron: So spook and science.
Laura: Do you know they think Chupacabras are like dogs with mange cool ruin.
Ron: One of the four sections that we've got.
Laura: I love Chupacabra.
Ron: Yeah, that's content for later.
Laura: That was like a spoiler.
Laura: You know, like last night when we were watching make the King the Cut and they had that little bit that was like that.
Ron: But for that, we're bad podcast.
Laura: Who run Runway.
Ron: So the first one that we are going to look at is the Big Beastfoot himself.
Laura: Big Beastfoot.
Ron: Bigfoot the yeti.
Laura: That's a different thing.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Now, I always thought yeti and Big Beastfoot were two different things because I picture Big Beastfoot being in forest and I picture Yeti being in snow.
Ron: What else is different about them?
Laura: I picture Yeti being very white and Big furry.
Laura: But I guess I'm mainly going off monsters inc.
Laura: Here.
Laura: And I picture Bigfoot as being a little bit more leather faced, but I'm going a bit more Harry and the Hendersons.
Laura: So those are my two starting points for Yeti and Big Beastfoot.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: But kind of the same thing, right?
Laura: Similar, yeah.
Laura: Like killer whales are slightly different races.
Ron: Of the same species, almost.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Which is what?
Ron: There's skunk apes from the swamps of Florida.
Ron: There's different flavors.
Laura: Are there really?
Laura: No.
Ron: Is that no, that's another one of these.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: It's not April Fools yet.
Ron: This would have been a good April Fools to do.
Laura: Just it'll be hard for you to do April Fools now.
Laura: I've got the spreadsheet, though, because I know what we're recording.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Because I'm like, I'm going to do it on the actual day, m***********.
Ron: You're not going to see it come.
Laura: I am.
Laura: I'm going to catch that trick over this year.
Ron: Anyway, so Bigfoot, also known as a Sasquatch, or if you're watching Trailer Park Boys, a sam squanch, which is a fun word to say, according to Wikipedia, it is a large, hairy, human like, mythical creature.
Ron: Purported fun word to say to inhabit forests in North America.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: And in Monsters Inc.
Laura: Is in the Himalayas.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Because that's a yeti.
Ron: That's the abominable snowman.
Laura: It's different.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: If you were going to be a creature that got a describing word as your first thing like abominable snowman, what would you want?
Laura: Yes, Anne.
Ron: What kind of creature?
Laura: Fabulous oil man.
Laura: You're a tree squirrel.
Ron: Oh, the slippery.
Laura: I'd want to be the heretical red panda.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: Saw some red pandas.
Laura: The other heretical panda that's falling apart.
Ron: Many as I was saying, you get skunk capes down in Florida.
Ron: Many indigenous cultures across North America have tales of these things.
Laura: Yes.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: I was confused then because Florida is not north, but that is in the continent of I understand, I understand, yeah.
Laura: Skunk ape.
Laura: Skunk ape.
Laura: Sounds like a really derogatory thing to call somebody, doesn't it?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Gun Gape, Florida.
Ron: Skunk ape.
Laura: That was very New York.
Ron: Florida.
Ron: Panhandle.
Ron: You got a certain smack of the skunk ape about you, boy.
Laura: Is that how floridians talk?
Laura: Yeah, maybe 200 years ago.
Ron: There's loads.
Ron: So we got, like, the Almas, which is from Asia.
Laura: Almas.
Ron: Almas.
Ron: Almas, yeah.
Laura: And these are all just reports of big things crashing about.
Ron: These are like ape like hominid cryptids.
Laura: From around the Bipedals.
Ron: Hominids, yeah.
Ron: The Amamongo from the Philippines.
Ron: Bamanu from Middle East.
Ron: From the Middle East.
Ron: Chachunya from Russia.
Ron: The Fuki monster Arkansas.
Laura: The f****** monster that's from there's a f****** monster.
Ron: From Johnny Bates's house.
Laura: Monkey.
Laura: There's a f****** monster behind the sofa.
Ron: Honey island swamp monster.
Ron: Louisiana orang Pendek sumatra.
Ron: The NITI Wo from Sri Lanka.
Ron: Skunk ape.
Ron: Yeren from China yeti?
Ron: Obviously.
Ron: And then the yowie yowie from Australia.
Laura: No, Australia can't have it, too.
Laura: They've got two distinct flora and fauna.
Laura: They can't also have a yeti.
Ron: They got the yowie, and it looks like this.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: And what am I looking at here?
Laura: Oh, it's very bad.
Ron: Carving of a man.
Ron: An Australian person saw a hairy bloke one day.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Or knowing.
Ron: Well, not knowing, but the stereotype of Australia, it might just be a slur.
Ron: Anyway, so, Laura, what if I told you that big feet, big beast feet were real?
Laura: I'd love it, and I'd kind of believe it.
Laura: I think they're quite a believable Cryptozoid.
Ron: Yes, well, they've already existed.
Laura: What?
Laura: Why did you pull that face, then?
Laura: Gigantic Christopher Walken thing.
Ron: Gigantopithecus.
Laura: What are you saying?
Ron: Gigantopithecus.
Laura: Gigantopithecus.
Ron: To you, sir, gigantopithecus is an extinct genus of ape from roughly 2 million to 350,000 years ago.
Laura: Gigantopithecus.
Laura: I feel like I've heard the sound pythagus before.
Ron: Austropithecus Australopithecus.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Maybe that's early human.
Laura: That big bird.
Laura: No, what was that big bird?
Ron: Stop saying big bird.
Laura: Like a big bird in big bird Australia or something.
Laura: Giant bird.
Ron: Mower.
Laura: It's dead now, though.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: MOA, I think it was called a giant bird.
Laura: Was it really big?
Ron: Yes, it was called a mower.
Ron: The giant MOA.
Ron: It was New Zealand.
Laura: Yeah, all right.
Laura: MOA.
Ron: Not called a piff.
Laura: What else is mower in New Zealand?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: You think of the Maori, maybe, or the moai, like the carved faces.
Laura: That's the hucker.
Laura: Never mind.
Ron: You're just naming everything you know about.
Laura: New Zealand aren't just maybe I'm thinking of Moana.
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: Yeah, massive.
Laura: Well, it's basically I wasn't really listening to anything you said.
Ron: Gigantopithecus.
Ron: Extinct species of apes.
Laura: Gigantopithecus.
Laura: I think it must be in a song or something because every time you say, I want to sing, but I.
Ron: Don'T know what song, so much of what I say that happens from 2 million to 350,000 years ago.
Laura: That's a long time they were alive.
Laura: Yeah, 1.65 million years ish well, it's.
Ron: A genus, not a species.
Laura: What's a genus?
Laura: Ron?
Ron: Like a group of species.
Laura: Oh, okay.
Ron: They're found in the area of southern China, gigantipithecus.
Ron: We think that they were in the family of the orangutans.
Ron: So they'd have been, like, huge.
Ron: Look at this top picture.
Laura: Yes.
Laura: A truly great ape.
Laura: So I'm looking at there's a Bornean orangutan.
Laura: It's like a load of orangutans have basically committed a crime.
Laura: So the Bornean orangutan is on the left.
Laura: It is 1.4 meters tall.
Laura: I'm guessing this is an average.
Laura: Then humans, 1.65.
Laura: Eastern lowland gorilla comes in at 1.65, but is like four times the weight of us.
Laura: Then for reference point, Chewbacca is there.
Laura: I just think that's quite confusing.
Laura: Then what am I looking at here?
Laura: Then there's Gigantopithecus, which is three and a half meters tall.
Laura: And then for some reason, there is the shadow of King Kong behind Gigantipithecus.
Laura: A confusing I don't understand the inclusion of Chewbacca and King Kong there because if anything, I think King kong just makes Gigantopithecus look less impressive.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Weird choices have been made here, but that's massive.
Laura: So 540 kilos.
Laura: So we're talking five times the weight of a Bornean orangutan and 2 meters taller.
Laura: So sort of one and a half times the height, but five times the weight.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: So, hang on, I can send you another picture that would give you an idea of sort of the size of what we thought that these lads were like, also.
Ron: So they were thought to be in the orangutan family.
Ron: So the King Louie in the New Jungle Book?
Laura: Yes.
Laura: Maybe that's where I know the site.
Laura: He uses the word gigantopithecus in his song.
Laura: That's why I did a Christopher Walken voice, I expect.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: So much is going on under the surface, except you do kind of do it on the surface as well.
Ron: You're like a duck that flaps.
Ron: So I've sent you another picture that gives you an idea of how big we think they were.
Laura: Yeah, that's cool.
Laura: Do you think they're like, you know, like the giant deer in Ireland that died out because as forests got bigger, they couldn't turn around and their horns got stuck and so deer got smaller?
Ron: Could be.
Ron: What are you thinking was trapping them because they don't have big horns?
Laura: No, and actually bigger trees is better.
Ron: They just have more food.
Laura: Wonder why they died, then.
Laura: Do you think they just shrunk over evolution time?
Ron: Well, no, they probably died out.
Ron: I mean, it's quite difficult to keep big things alive.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Like elephants are on the deaf now.
Ron: Yeah, well, elephants are very big.
Ron: What are you doing?
Laura: I'm looking for the word gigantopithecus.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: You might think it's ridiculous that me, a gigantopithecus, would ever dream I'd like to team up with the likes of you, man cub.
Laura: I knew I knew that word.
Laura: God d***, my brain is impressive.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Like, there's a lot of big things around even now.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Like my b***.
Ron: Do you know the definition of mega fauna?
Laura: Big trees.
Ron: No, it's like bigger than 38 something.
Laura: Oh, that's not very big at all.
Laura: No, to us, but it's a mega fauna.
Ron: Your b*** is a mega fauna.
Laura: Mackie.
Laura: You're a mini fauna.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Mackie's so tiny and cute, isn't she?
Ron: She's fine.
Ron: So we don't know loads about them because all we've found is teeth and a couple of jawbones.
Laura: I love it when this happens, because basically, it could have just been a really scrawny ape with a massive jaw.
Laura: Like a Hapsburg ape.
Laura: Hey, Ron, put these ones on your chest like nips there's two nipple shaped chocolates.
Laura: OOH, it was.
Ron: Grand.
Laura: Ron likes that one.
Laura: What was it?
Laura: Hang on.
Laura: It was the raspberry smoothie pressed raspberries blended with cream, sealed in milk.
Ron: Wow.
Laura: I'm assuming they milk chocolate.
Laura: You can't just seal something in milk.
Ron: Wow.
Laura: Buster gigantipithecus.
Laura: I'm so happy about that word.
Ron: Here's a really inexplicable line from the Wikipedia page.
Ron: Only teeth and four mandibles are known currently, and other skeletal elements will likely.
Laura: Skeletal oscar lethal skeletal.
Ron: I just said it.
Laura: Yeah, that's fair.
Laura: Other skeletons yogurt.
Ron: Other skeletal elements were likely consumed by porcupines before they could fossilize.
Laura: What porcupines?
Ron: Apparently they chow down on skeletons.
Laura: Who knew that?
Laura: Of porcupines?
Laura: Is that why their quills are so hard?
Laura: They feast on bones, like, you know, in the foxbusters where they make the chickens eat grit to make the shells of their eggs harder?
Ron: Sure.
Laura: Did you ever listen to the foxbusters?
Ron: No, I didn't.
Laura: Like, the meat is the best meat.
Ron: Is that why we say that?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: For anybody that doesn't know, it was a children's story about some chickens that decide to fight back against foxes by laying super hard eggs and sitting in a greenhouse to cook the eggs whilst they're inside them and then, like, firing them like missiles at the foxes.
Laura: It's a d*** king.
Laura: Smith maybe.
Laura: I don't know.
Ron: I think it is.
Laura: What a legend D*** King Smith is.
Ron: He did, babe.
Laura: Yeah, so did Mark Owen.
Laura: It's a song by Mark Owen from Take That Lightning Connection.
Ron: In my head, I thought of Clive Owen.
Ron: I was like, I don't remember Clive Owen being in Babe.
Ron: Too big in the city.
Laura: Yeah, he was.
Laura: He played Babe.
Laura: Mackie, do you need to go out?
Laura: You're not going out the front.
Laura: Come here.
Laura: Come on.
Laura: Where'd you go?
Laura: Out.
Laura: She needs to go.
Laura: She's going to allow herself to leave via the backyard.
Laura: Haven't seen the rat again today.
Laura: Have you seen him today?
Ron: No.
Ron: Don't look for him.
Laura: Have you killed him?
Laura: Did you kill the rat?
Ron: No.
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: Can we record the podcast?
Laura: Yes, I'm trying to.
Ron: So, in 1935, there was a Dutch anthropologist called Ralph von Koenigsvald.
Ron: Brilliant.
Ron: He found the first teeth of this creature that we know of.
Ron: He found them in a drugstore in Hong Kong.
Ron: They were being sold as dragon bones for Chinese traditional medicine.
Ron: And then there's again, another just inexplicable well, not inexplicable, but just really interesting bit of flavor to this story.
Ron: It says, by 1939, after purchasing more teeth, he determined that they had originated somewhere in Guangdong or Guangchi.
Ron: He could not formally describe the true the type specimen until 1952 due to his internment by Japanese forces during World War II.
Laura: Oh, no.
Ron: So he was just there in the camp thinking about these teeth?
Laura: God.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So that's the real life bigfoot.
Laura: Do you reckon the people in prison with him thought he was mad or were like, I was holed up with a scientist who was about to make a cool discovery.
Laura: Imagine that.
Laura: You're already in a concentration camp and now the guy next to you is banging on about massive teeth he's found.
Laura: You'd make him throw them away.
Ron: No, I wouldn't.
Laura: You would.
Laura: You'd say you're a creepy old witch.
Ron: You were being a creepy old witch.
Ron: This is very different.
Laura: Gigantipithecus anyway, so.
Ron: That was the real life bigfoot.
Laura: I love it.
Ron: I think that the people in the camp with him would have been interested because, you know, back then, s*** was getting discovered all the time.
Ron: Yeah, cool stuff.
Ron: Not just like slightly better computers.
Laura: Bugs is all they find nowadays.
Laura: Yeah, the occasional frog or something like a bat is cool.
Ron: Next one we're going to do laura loch Ness Monster.
Laura: Lovely.
Ron: What can you tell us about Nessie?
Laura: I've watched a few documentaries about Nessie.
Laura: So there's like, obviously some of the famous photo evidence.
Laura: Loch Ness, it's like the largest freshwater lake in the UK.
Ron: By volume.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Because it's very deep.
Laura: It does have a sea inlet, I think, what used to so there is some argument that it could be sturgeon or something that people have seen that's massive.
Laura: And one of the theories, which I think is fairly dopey, as I understand it, but one of the theories is that it could be what's that dinosaur that lived in the sea that you loved in that walking, swimming with dinosaurs or whatever.
Ron: More on that later.
Laura: It could be one of those that's, like, survived and bred down.
Laura: That I think that's very unlikely.
Laura: But that is one argument because I think Loch Ness is it still open to the sea or it used to be?
Ron: I think it is at certain times.
Laura: Of the year, yeah.
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: So there's like, oh, it could be like a massive fish and it's so deep that it's hard to figure it out.
Ron: Or like a whale or there was a great episode of Jeremy Wade's River Monsters, one of my favorite TV shows, where Jeremy Wade went to catch Loch Ness, like the not Loch Ness monster.
Ron: So he got, like every found every type of fish that anyone's ever been like, oh, maybe it was that.
Ron: And then just went and caught all of those around the world.
Laura: It was fun.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: I love Jeremy Wade's River.
Laura: I think I've watched Jeremy Wade's River Monsters with you before.
Ron: Yeah, it's like one of my favorite TV shows.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: He just catches these massive fish and you're like, whoa, look at that big fish.
Ron: And he puts it back.
Laura: Oh, jeremy Wade.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So these, like, sea lake monsters, they pop up around.
Ron: You got Champy from Lake Champlain in North America.
Ron: You've got oh, this one was fun.
Ron: The Dobha Chu, otherwise known as the Waterhound of the King Otter in Ireland.
Laura: I love it.
Ron: What else?
Ron: We got?
Ron: Loch Ness monster.
Ron: Obviously.
Ron: We've got Mokle Mbembe in the Republic of the Congo.
Ron: Ogapogo is from Canada.
Ron: They come up did you ever watch.
Laura: The family Ness as a kid?
Laura: You can find an anaconda or a great big kangaroo, but you'll never find a Nessie in the zoo.
Ron: I've heard this song before.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So they do pop up around the earliest report of the Loch Ness.
Ron: Monster comes from the 7th century.
Laura: Whoa.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: From an Irish monk called St.
Ron: Columba, who was staying with the Picts when he saw a local residence burying a man near the River Ness.
Ron: They explained that the man was swimming in the river.
Ron: He was attacked by a water beast that killed him.
Ron: So then Columbus sent a guy to swim in the river and then.
Laura: Hope that guy's middle name was Bait.
Ron: No, the guy's name was Min.
Ron: And the beast approached him.
Ron: But then Columbia made the sign of the cross and he said, go no further.
Ron: Do not touch the man.
Ron: Go back at once.
Ron: Not.
Ron: Catchy it's not.
Ron: You shall not pass.
Laura: The idea that animals would be there, like so we're allowed to eat anyone we want?
Laura: Yeah, unless someone appears and holds their fingers across each other like this.
Laura: And if that happens, you have to back down.
Laura: It's international law.
Ron: Yeah, but no, the creature stopped as if it had been pulled back with ropes and fled.
Ron: And Columbus men and the picks gave thanks for what they perceived to be a miracle.
Laura: Brilliant.
Ron: So the real life Loch Ness Monster, as you kind of cotton onto, is well, it is often described to be, like a placeosaur that's the word.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Plesiosaur, which was, again, a genus of aquatic dinosaur.
Ron: So they lived from 200 million years ago until the end of the dinosaurs?
Ron: About 65 million years ago.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: So as a group of living things very successful around for, like, that's a f****** long time.
Ron: They were around for longer than the time since the dinosaurs were here.
Ron: About twice as long.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: To give you a credit.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Just farting about.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Well, they were quite diverse.
Ron: So they were between 1.5 and 15 meters long, and the biggest of which was my favorite dinosaur of all time.
Ron: Liplurodon.
Ron: Episode Three Walking With Dinosaurs F****** cool.
Ron: Google a picture of Liplurodon.
Ron: Just badass, man.
Ron: What did you say?
Laura: Oh, whoa.
Laura: Okay, so it is like a swimming trex.
Laura: Like, it's a really dinosaury face, but because it's in the water, you're expecting it to be fishy, but it's not.
Ron: Yeah, that's the one from Walking with Dinosaurs.
Ron: I just thought it was so cool.
Ron: When I was a kid, all I ever wanted was a Lip, Florida toy to play with in the bath.
Ron: I never got one.
Laura: Why not?
Laura: Did you ever ask for one?
Ron: Yeah, maybe they don't exist all the time.
Laura: Mum and dad would totally have got you one if they existed.
Ron: One I didn't know.
Laura: Should have told me.
Laura: I'd have cellotaped, some stuff on a dolphin toy for you.
Ron: But, yeah, very cool.
Ron: Very cool.
Ron: Why have you walked away?
Laura: I thought Mackie was grateful, but she's not been killed by the rat.
Ron: And then if you look at the second picture that I sent you so the one that most closely resembles what we sort of think of as Nessie was plesiosaur called Elasmosaurus.
Ron: So I sent you a picture of what that was like next to human.
Laura: Because people think of it as having a long neck, don't they?
Laura: Like an Ely neck.
Laura: So Elasmosaurus got, like, a neck, like is it a brontosaurus?
Laura: Yeah, diplodocus.
Laura: They have those long necks, don't they?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, it's very dolphin y.
Laura: It's got a very eely.
Laura: It's like an eel.
Laura: It's like an eel attached to a dolphin with the flippers of a whale calf.
Ron: Well, it looks like a fell beast from Lord of the Rings, those dragony things that Nazgul ride.
Ron: But this is an example of what's called conversion evolution, where those ichthythiosaurs and, like, dolphins all look really similar, because that's just a great way to be in the water.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They were anywhere between, like, 10 meters and 7 meters in length.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: So it's not unrealistic to think that they could survive.
Laura: Yeah, it is in Loch Ness.
Ron: Oh, in Loch Ness.
Ron: I thought you meant for 65 million years.
Laura: Oh, a single one.
Laura: No, but they could breed down there.
Laura: Have you ever seen Loch Ness with Ted Danson?
Ron: No.
Laura: Oh, Ron, that's a wonderful film.
Ron: Do you like Ted Danson?
Laura: Let's watch Loch Ness one day.
Ron: They have 72 bones in their neck.
Laura: What?
Laura: Ted Danson?
Ron: Ted Danson.
Laura: Do you want to watch Loch Ness and then talk about it for a patreon episode?
Ron: Okay.
Ron: Next Halloween?
Ron: No, tomorrow I've got to work and leave.
Laura: I think it might be Megan's favorite film.
Ron: I don't think it's Megan's favorite film.
Laura: I'm going to text her right now and ask her.
Ron: I've never heard her mention this before.
Ron: And me and Megan are tight.
Laura: You're not everyone's only friends with me.
Laura: I'm going to text her now.
Laura: Megan, do you love the film Loch Ness?
Laura: Continue.
Ron: And that's the real nessie.
Laura: I love it.
Laura: What do you think people are seeing and being excited by, Ron?
Ron: Now?
Ron: Me and Ho TP were chatting about this earlier, and we think that personally, I think people have seen things like seals or, like, maybe a whale or, like you say, sturgeon.
Laura: What kind of whale are we talking?
Ron: I don't know.
Ron: Minky.
Laura: Minky?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Like any of these things.
Ron: But I think the myth and we were saying sort of like the myth self propagates itself, because as soon as that's a myth, then when you go there, you're looking for stuff, and then when you see anything, you go, Whoa.
Ron: That was it.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I'm pretty skeptical about everything.
Laura: And even every time we go and visit Meg, I stare at the lock.
Ron: Yeah, that's what Tom was saying.
Ron: He does as well.
Laura: I want to see it.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Because that's the thing.
Ron: That's kind of what I was saying about ghosts and how cryptids and stuff, they kind of sit in that weird thing.
Ron: It's like yeah, you do go there and you look for it.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It sits in that place in between folklore and not real life.
Ron: You know it's not real.
Ron: You know it's not there.
Ron: But I don't know.
Ron: Yeah, I guess it's kind of oh, yeah, I suppose it is.
Ron: Just like our folklore of now.
Ron: It's not like when you hear about like Greek myths and stuff, you're like, well, that's bullshit.
Ron: But then in years when they're hearing whatever the equivalent of like Stephen Fry to them has written a book about our folklore, they'll be like, wow, that's weird.
Laura: Yeah, that's the top of when people talk about the past, isn't it?
Laura: They go like, ancient Greeks believe this is and you're like, ancient Greeks are sick.
Laura: But then you think, oh, it's four ancient Greeks thought that.
Laura: And everybody else is going, don't listen to archimedes, he's an idiot.
Ron: Well, I think everyone no, I think it's more like that's what they told their kids.
Ron: And everyone grows out of.
Ron: Yeah, because have you ever seen mount Olympus?
Ron: Well, if you've been to Athens, you have.
Ron: It's that mountain right by it.
Ron: It's very climable.
Ron: They knew that gods weren't up there.
Laura: But I don't want to climb a mountain and I don't think there are gods at the top.
Laura: I'm like, yeah, can't climb that.
Laura: Woof.
Laura: Gods at the top.
Ron: Yeah, but if there was an empire of yous there wouldn't be an empire.
Laura: Why not?
Laura: It'd be really nice.
Ron: Because you're soft and breakable.
Laura: Yeah, but if everybody was me yeah.
Ron: But the other people would come and take your things.
Laura: No, they'd come and then they'd be.
Ron: Like, these things are too useless to enslave.
Ron: Let's take a classic story from back then.
Ron: You have 100,000 Persians at the hot gates of Thalmapoli and you have 300 Lauras in between.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: How's that going down?
Laura: Hello, Persians.
Laura: Do you need some gestures?
Ron: Die.
Ron: Die.
Laura: No, don't kill us.
Laura: We're funny.
Laura: Make a lovely katsu curry.
Laura: I made the best katsu curry in the world yesterday, and I'm constantly thinking about it.
Ron: The next one we were going to do is the chupacabra.
Laura: Nobody's killed me yet, and I'm soft in this world and there's lots of murderous people around.
Ron: Yes, but this was like 4000 years ago, so things work differently there.
Ron: There's not a whole empire of you with resources and women to take.
Laura: I am the women to take.
Ron: Yeah, but like I say, there's only one of you not worth it.
Ron: You don't have much.
Laura: We're on always become insulting to me, no matter what we're talking about.
Laura: How did we get here?
Laura: Folklore.
Ron: We should do a podcast about folklore.
Laura: Yeah, what about crabs that have prosthetic limbs?
Laura: Folklores.
Ron: I was fully prepared to hate that.
Ron: I didn't mind it.
Ron: That was good.
Ron: Chupacabra.
Laura: Laura I love chupacabra.
Ron: What does it mean?
Laura: So many documentaries.
Laura: It means blood sucker, goatsucker, goat sucker.
Laura: That's it.
Laura: Sorry.
Laura: I knew chupa was suck.
Laura: Like chupper.
Laura: Chups for crucial kids.
Ron: The name comes from the animal's reported vampirism.
Ron: It attacks and drinks the blood of livestock, sucking them dry.
Laura: I don't think it does.
Ron: Well, that's the myth.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: What does the Chupacabra look like, Laura?
Laura: Well, like a sort of hyena dog.
Laura: Big ears, like wrinkled fur, mangy scraggly red eyes, probably big fangs.
Ron: No.
Ron: The common description of the Chupacabra is that of a reptile like creature what said to have leathery or scaly greenish gray skin and sharp spines or quills running down its back.
Ron: It is said to be approximately three to 4ft high and stands and hops in a fashion similar to a kangaroo.
Laura: Oh, I thought they were dog things.
Laura: Maybe I watched a different documentary.
Ron: No, you're getting this confused.
Ron: The thing that this gets confused with is dogs with mange is what they think it actually is.
Ron: So you're thinking of that.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Not Chupacabra.
Ron: You're thinking about mage dogs.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: Yeah, probably because I watched a thing about, like, finding the real Trooper cobra.
Laura: So they didn't focus too much on the myth.
Ron: I think they probably did quite a lot at the beginning of the show.
Laura: Yeah, but I don't watch the bit.
Ron: That'S not you don't watch the beginning?
Laura: No, because that's just what are you talking about?
Laura: And I don't care about that bit.
Ron: Then why do you care about what it is if you don't care about the myth?
Laura: Because I want to know what it is, not what it isn't.
Ron: But what is if you don't a triple barber.
Laura: Why are people thinking, there's this weird thing that isn't real?
Laura: What is happening?
Laura: Oh, that dog.
Ron: But you don't care what they're thinking?
Laura: No, not really.
Laura: It's stupid.
Laura: It's not real.
Laura: It's wrong.
Ron: The nugget of info that you're distilling out.
Laura: Like, if I'm watching a Loch Ness monster show, I don't want to watch 15 minutes of idiots going, and I saw a tiny head.
Laura: Don't care.
Ron: How many Loch Ness monster shows do you watch?
Laura: I'd watch a, like, four part documentary about Loch Ness monsters.
Laura: Why?
Ron: What else are you hoping to learn?
Laura: What it could be.
Laura: Might find a whale in there.
Ron: We've literally, like, listed all the things it could be.
Ron: Yeah, after I did, like, five minutes of research.
Laura: Watch it.
Ron: It just seems like you only need to watch one and then, nah, there.
Laura: Might be something in them.
Ron: Because I've seen a chupacabra documentary.
Ron: I watched one and I said, wow, I know what the Chupacabra is now.
Ron: Move on.
Laura: I just like to watch them.
Laura: Well, I mean, to be fair, I've.
Ron: Seen a lot of episodes of finding bigfoot.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I will watch the same thing over and over again.
Laura: It doesn't bother me.
Ron: Yeah, I like it, but not the beginning.
Ron: That's too far.
Laura: Well, I'd watch it if it was on, but I'd skip it.
Ron: When you're watching a sitcom, do you just skip the beginning?
Ron: Just get all of the bits, not the setup of the jokes.
Ron: Just a bit where, like, all of Michael's plans caved in on a punchline.
Ron: Don't want to watch how he got into these scrapes.
Ron: Just want to watch his embarrassment at the end.
Laura: But I don't want to watch, like, dumb dumbs being dumb dumbs.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: And we'll move on after I've said this.
Ron: No rebuttal for you.
Laura: I don't agree to that.
Ron: It could be argued that you do need to watch the beginning because you didn't know what the no, but the only thing that you've taken away from this is that there are mangy dogs in Mexico.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And that's what people think a chupacabra is.
Ron: Yeah, but you don't know what a chupacabra is.
Laura: A chupacabra isn't anything.
Laura: If anything, a chupacabra is a mangy dog.
Ron: So what's the point in knowing it's a mangy dog if you don't know?
Laura: I'll be like, yeah, a mangy dog.
Ron: Yeah, but you don't know why anyone's interested in that.
Laura: Because they think a jupacabra is eating their stuff.
Ron: Yeah, but you didn't know it was like a kangaroo vampire thing.
Laura: No, it wasn't.
Laura: That's what they thought it was.
Laura: The f****** myth is yeah, the myth isn't real, Ron.
Laura: The dogs are real.
Laura: You are weird.
Ron: You're being f****** insane about this.
Laura: No, I don't think I am.
Ron: So you would watch a Nessie documentary and the whole fact that people see this monster in there is not interesting to you?
Ron: What's interesting to you is that there might have sometimes been a big fish or a whale there.
Laura: Yeah, that's the interesting part of the story.
Ron: That's insane.
Laura: That's not insane because it's like you say, oh, you're only interested in the real bit.
Laura: Ha.
Laura: So you don't even care what netty is?
Laura: Ha.
Laura: No, Nettie's like they think it's a monster in the water.
Laura: But I don't need to watch 20 minutes of people describing the different monsters they didn't see.
Laura: I just go, oh, it's a monster.
Laura: That's not, though.
Laura: What is it?
Laura: Oh, a whale or a fish or a dinosaur cracking.
Laura: Thank you, Ted Danson.
Laura: Let's go home.
Ron: Do you want me to skip the bits where I am explaining?
Laura: No, it's fine.
Laura: Ron, I don't know why you're being weird about this.
Laura: You're being insane.
Ron: Crazy stuff.
Laura: So mange is let us know who's right, by the way.
Laura: Obviously, as always on the socials at Lexx Education.
Laura: Join the patreon.
Ron: Do join the patreon, actually, because we've just doubled the content.
Ron: What kind of indictment is that?
Ron: So mange.
Ron: Mange is a type of skin disease caused by parasitic mites, because various species of mites also infect plants, birds and reptiles, the term mange, or colloquial the mange, suggesting poor condition of the skin and fur due to infection, is sometimes reserved for pathological mite infestation of non human animals.
Ron: It's mites.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: They're only mites when they're on the floor.
Laura: They're when they're on the ceiling, they're tights.
Ron: All right?
Laura: And then the last I didn't hit anything.
Laura: You said things okay?
Laura: How to make a stalagmite tight joke.
Ron: Very good.
Laura: Thank you.
Laura: I'll listen back to it when I'm editing.
Ron: Yeah, you won't care about that because okay, cool.
Laura: Well, no, that was interesting, wasn't it?
Laura: Mites smites.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: On dogs?
Ron: On anything.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: But in this case, dogs, maybe it's not real, so it doesn't matter.
Laura: No, but the dogs are real.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: And mangers real.
Ron: But the dogs aren't sucking the blood out of goats.
Laura: No, but they do kill goats and eat them.
Ron: Do they?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: We don't know that.
Laura: Yeah, we do.
Ron: They did it in that digby, killed some goats.
Ron: Who's digby that dog?
Laura: That dog that we got that time.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Then he attacked some charges.
Ron: So here's a mental thing.
Ron: Right.
Ron: Well, I mean, it's all kind of weird, which is, I think we should.
Laura: Edit this bit out.
Laura: This does not reflect well on us.
Laura: Wrong.
Ron: No, it's all weird.
Ron: And then edit that out because that's actually completely superfluous to the story.
Ron: But it is really weird.
Ron: They had a dog.
Ron: They had some farm and they had a dog that killed a bunch of goats.
Ron: And then they were like, we don't want to put this dog down, but we can't have it around these animals.
Ron: Where should we put it?
Ron: We'll take it to Laura and Ron's house and they can have this dog around all these kids.
Laura: Yeah, I got really attached to that dog, and then it did bite a child and had to be put down.
Laura: But they waited until we really liked the dog before they put it down.
Ron: Well, me and my friend Jonah, we used to wait till the dog was in the garden and then we had a game where we had to run across the garden to the play the climbing frame before the dog got you.
Laura: Oh, Ron, that's bleak.
Ron: It was fun, though.
Laura: I really remember sitting in the kitchen with that dog the night before it had to be put down.
Ron: The mapping guari.
Ron: Never heard of that before.
Laura: No, I never heard of a map in Guarantee.
Ron: It's traditional folklore from the Amazon.
Laura: OOH.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: It always shows up the next day if you order it before 10:00 p.m..
Ron: It's described as a former human shaman turned into a hairy human cyclone.
Laura: So you retire from shamanism and you grow a lot of hair and your eyes merge into one big eye.
Laura: I love that for us.
Laura: Great.
Ron: This version is often said to have a gaping mouth on its abdomen and its feet turned backwards.
Laura: Oh, I think I'd just stare shaman forever.
Laura: That sounds horrible.
Ron: Well, apparently feet turned backwards is a common thing in folklore because it tricks you because you don't know which way it's going.
Laura: It's falling over.
Laura: It's only got one eye and its feet are on backwards.
Ron: The name comes from the Tupacorani words.
Ron: Hang on, let me find out where they're from.
Ron: All over the Amazon.
Ron: And it means a thing that has a bent, crooked foot or.
Laura: Pick.
Laura: Oh, God.
Laura: I don't even know where to start with this one.
Laura: What does it famously do?
Ron: Hang on, let me get some more.
Ron: It's a bigfoot, esque thing.
Ron: Let me get up.
Ron: More info.
Laura: I like that.
Laura: They've got a bigfoot myth, but they've jazzed it up a bit.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: F*** me.
Laura: What am I looking at here?
Laura: I'm looking at the statue on Ron's laptop.
Laura: It is quite ape like.
Ron: It's got a piggy snout.
Laura: The face looks hilarious because whilst it is a cyclops, from here it kind of looks like it's got two pupils still.
Laura: Piggy snout, big mouth, big ears.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Almost chimp like head.
Laura: Almost like a cocoa bean pod for the gaping abdomen.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: The feet aren't as noticeably on backwards as you'd think.
Laura: No, it does feel like the knees are the right way around.
Ron: It still walks forwards, but, yeah, the feet are on backwards.
Ron: Doesn't really say what it does.
Ron: Just hangs around mythical, monstrous jungle dwelling spirits.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Lovely.
Laura: Lovely.
Ron: Now, the reason why I've included this and not bunched it into the bigfoot part of the conversation is because big backward foot, big tooth.
Laura: Nice.
Laura: Ron.
Ron: People think that these are the remnants of human consciousness, of ancient ground dwelling giant sloths, which we were talking about in a previous episode, Megathurium.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Because those died out only, like, 10,000 years ago, shared a lot of time.
Laura: With humans, so there's still folklore about them.
Laura: Could be okay.
Ron: Because obviously that was I can't remember.
Laura: Things from last week.
Ron: No.
Ron: Some peoples have really impressive oral traditions where they pass stuff down.
Ron: The Aborigines in Australia know a crazy amount about their collective history because they just pass it down in a really.
Laura: Rigid structured way, like the coral reef.
Laura: And.
Ron: Like, it's possible that other people do that, obviously in a watered down way, because in this, it's like a backwards footage.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It's a bit cyclops with a tummy mouth, so they're just not as good at cutting stuff on.
Ron: But that's the idea.
Ron: And then the other really cool thing about this one is that the description of the myelodon, which is the ground slough from the area, is based off of a lower jaw with teeth that Charles Darwin found when he was on an expedition on the Beagle.
Laura: Ah.
Ron: Which is quite cool.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Because you don't really think of him as, like, a fossil hunter that much.
Laura: No, think of him as a glory hunter.
Ron: What does that mean?
Laura: Taking down the church just for his own gains.
Ron: You anti Darwin.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Good beard.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I check him.
Ron: And that's Halloween, ron.
Laura: It's been beautiful.
Ron: Yeah, it was fun, wasn't it?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I've had a lovely time.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Let's go watch some Project Runway.
Laura: We've run out.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: They didn't have to know that.
Laura: I was hoping you were going to say Loch Ness.
Ron: I don't want to watch that.
Ron: It's late.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Full, flattened, class dismissed.
Laura: No.
Laura: Well, we'll do an outro.
Ron: We don't usually do outros.
Laura: We didn't do an intro.
Ron: Let's do that now.
Laura: We'll just do one.
Laura: All right, maybe there's no intro today.
Ron: Class dismissed.
Ron: But you might hear more from us.
Ron: But we'll see.
Laura: Okay, we're on time for an outro.
Ron: There's a kid in the cafe across the street just punching his mum in the hip.
Laura: Oh, no.
Ron: She's just packing up their things.
Laura: That really reminds me of a great Andy Askins bit about on a train, and he sees a woman slap her kid who is misbehaving, and he goes up to her and he goes, now, I don't know a lot, but I know what's wrong and I know what's right and what you're doing is wrong.
Laura: See, you're not transferring your weight.
Laura: And then Mime's doing a better slap.
Laura: And it is one of the most beautiful bits of stand up.
Laura: It's very funny.
Laura: We do not endorse hitting your children on this podcast.
Laura: It's a terrible thing to do.
Laura: If you hit your children, they will grow up to do podcasts to get people to like them.
Laura: Should we just go, ron, why are we doing this?
Ron: Yeah, I haven't prepared a register.
Laura: Oh, thank you to Spooky Sue, who's the spookiest spooky patron.
Laura: Thank you to do a Frankenstein's monster bit.
Ron: Oh, go on.
Ron: Sorry.
Laura: Thank you to Adam.
Ron: Sorry, I didn't realize after the obviously the towering literary reference that Spooky Sue is, I should have seen that a Frankenstein reference was coming next.
Laura: Come on, Ron.
Laura: You know how I work.
Laura: It's a little bit of this, it's a little bit of that.
Laura: I'm not going to do all literary references and I'm not going to do all Spooky Sues.
Laura: Let's just let people go and go on with their day.
Ron: We love you.
Laura: We love you.
Laura: See you next week for another Halloween episode.
Ron: Halloween dismissed.
Laura: But it's not, though, wrong, because it's going to be on next week.
Laura: Oh, then stop patting your microphone as well.
Ron: I haven't touched it.
Laura: You are patting it.
Laura: I can hear it moving.
Laura: God, you're the worst podcaster in the world.
Laura: You're worse than all the right wing men that say horrible things.
Ron: Oh, the ones that we lose these competitions.
Laura: Goodbye, everyone's.
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