Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education, the comedy science podcast, where comedian me, Laura Lex, tries to learn GCSE science via the teacher, who is her freshly shaved, I think, brother Ron.
Ron: I had a haircut yesterday.
Laura: Did they do your cheeks?
Laura: Oh, you've gone muted.
Ron: I accidentally muted myself.
Laura: That's why it's such a cracking start.
Laura: I was just thinking, gosh, this is sounding professional.
Laura: And I bet all the people that are just looking for a new podcast in the new year are just loving it, and then it's gone.
Laura: Tit cups.
Ron: Everyone loves it.
Laura: Yeah, I know.
Ron: I think we're doing really well, Laura.
Laura: How are you, Ron, are you still loving your noise cancelling headphones?
Ron: Yes.
Ron: My life has ultimately changed.
Ron: I've signed up for a GP.
Ron: I'm doing all the volunteering I wanted to do.
Ron: I've got a new calendar so I can keep track of my life in a better way.
Ron: I'm getting lots of stuff done at work.
Ron: I started doing stuff for the podcast again.
Laura: Hey, I'm so proud of you, Ron.
Laura: Yeah, I did stuff for the podcast today, too, and I also made a list of everything else I need to do.
Laura: One of them is look at those videos you sent me months ago.
Laura: Hello.
Ron: You're doing better than me because you went on holiday, so I stopped doing stuff.
Ron: But before you went on holiday, you prepared and you did everything that you needed to do before you went.
Ron: I didn't.
Laura: No, I'm aware.
Laura: Don't worry.
Laura: Don't worry, Ron.
Laura: It's good.
Laura: It's good.
Laura: Hey, I did go on holiday.
Laura: Guess what?
Laura: My holiday was terrible.
Ron: Why was your holiday terrible?
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Cornwall should f****** have a discount when it's just not open because, sorry, for various reasons, went to Cornwall on holiday, little family holiday.
Laura: We wanted somewhere that wasn't too much of a drive that we could take the dog that was within the UK.
Laura: And, oh, my God, just everything was shut.
Laura: We were staying in this quaint little place.
Laura: It was really lovely.
Laura: The first three days, it just p***** it down.
Laura: For three solid days.
Laura: It was just torrential rain and it was like something out of a sitcom, like the ridiculousness of the rain.
Laura: Like, we'd leave the house going, okay, it's not raining, we're not going to try and play on the beach or anything, but let's drive to this little town, and then we'll just go and find a cafe or something.
Laura: And then we arrived at the little town to find.
Laura: You can't actually park in the little town.
Laura: You have to park outside of it.
Laura: The car park only takes pound coins and nothing else and is six pounds for 3 hours.
Laura: So you had to have six pound coins about your person, which, I'm sorry, is unfeasible in 2023.
Laura: Also, it's January.
Laura: Why are you charging for park in Cornwall?
Laura: Nothing's open.
Laura: So we pulled up in this car park and just like, hilarious.
Laura: Like, people were throwing buckets of water at the car.
Laura: Levels of rain start coming down to the point where we were like, even just trying to walk from this car park into the center of this little town is going to soak us through to the point that having lunch there will not work.
Laura: So we were like, fine.
Laura: Stacked that off, made peace with it all.
Laura: Then we drove an hour and 20 minutes over to Padstow, and we were like, let's try some cornish pasties.
Laura: And we researched the best places for cornish pasties, and we were like, there's two, and they're really near each other, and we will buy one from each, and then we'll compare them both shut.
Laura: Just inexplicably, an hour earlier than Google pretended they were, there was one place open.
Laura: We bought everything we could from there, found the only place that would let a dog in.
Laura: Sat and had a miserable cake, drove home again.
Laura: Then we finally got some nice weather.
Laura: We did go and we did the Eden project, and we went to a seal sanctuary, which was my highlight.
Laura: I text you, told you I don't want to s*** a penguin anymore.
Laura: I'd s*** a seal.
Laura: Loved them.
Laura: There was a seal there, Ron, that was found as a baby, and it had severe brain damage.
Laura: And so was like, a bit like.
Laura: I don't know what the correct wordage is, but was a brain damaged seal, and he was so lovely and sweet and just like seals are already just like, boop a Doopa doo pa doo.
Laura: And then this one didn't have anything going on upstairs, so he was extra boopa doopa doo.
Laura: Oh.
Laura: And I just loved him.
Laura: So we had a good time there.
Ron: And you wanted to f*** him?
Laura: No, not that.
Laura: Well, why not?
Laura: Just because you're brain damaged.
Laura: You'll get laid.
Laura: No, I just was looking at the seals, and I was like, that'd be all right if you had to.
Laura: With an know, bit whiskey, bit fishy.
Laura: But I'm kind of used to that from Mackie.
Laura: Anyway, not that I have sex with, you know, I sleep in a bed with her quite a lot.
Laura: Anyway.
Laura: And then we finally got a little bit of nice weather.
Laura: We did some nice things, and then the day we were packing up to leave and we were literally in the middle of nowhere and Cornwall like we'd picked this little farm.
Laura: F****** snow like you never see.
Laura: Oh my God.
Laura: And I was just like great.
Laura: And it was a good half an hour from where we were to any sort of a road.
Laura: So just crawling through this snow and I have real pts.
Laura: Well, probably not PTSD, but I once span my car in snow on a moor in Manchester coming home from a gig and I have real anxiety about driving in snow and it was just like this holiday has just been f****** awful from start to finish.
Laura: I finished a jumper though, and I made a whole cardigan.
Laura: I did so much knitting in that little cottage.
Ron: Yeah, I guess don't go to Cornwall first week of Jan.
Ron: No, but honestly.
Laura: Though, I'm all for staycationing, obviously.
Laura: I want to save the planet.
Laura: I don't want to fly anywhere.
Laura: I want to do a holiday that I can take the dog with.
Laura: We don't have a passport for small girl yet, so we couldn't leave the UK.
Laura: Why is this country so expensive to stay in when it's dog s***?
Ron: I don't have the answer.
Laura: No, just cross man.
Ron: Sorry mate.
Laura: Did a lot of swimming.
Laura: That was nice.
Laura: And after we'd been to the seal sanctuary, child of the podcast was pretending to be a seal in a swimming pool.
Laura: It was like lying on one of the stairs going rolling.
Laura: It was great.
Ron: Yeah, I'm doing dry jam.
Ron: Oh yeah, I went in a belt loop in six days.
Laura: Oh wow.
Laura: Yeah, I'm doing dry Jan.
Laura: Really?
Laura: Sounds like you're like f****** the frigid woman in the office.
Ron: I went in a belt loop, if you know what I mean.
Laura: Even if you had a microtogger, f****** a belt loop wouldn't be nice.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: How many ten days it's been?
Laura: You've been dry?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: What did you do for new Year?
Ron: Got drunk with my friends.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Yeah, it was uneventful.
Ron: It was absolutely feral.
Ron: But I've been out the country for a couple of years for New Year's, so it was nice to do it with them.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Have you cooked anything from the cookbook I got you yet?
Ron: I have only cooked one meal since I got that cookbook.
Laura: Why?
Laura: What?
Ron: You've been spent because I've been doing dry Jan.
Ron: I don't know if it is because of that.
Ron: I've just spent a lot of time at my friend's house.
Laura: Well, because if you're alone, you drink.
Laura: You made it sound bad, Ron.
Ron: No, I think it's just because I hate being alone.
Laura: Oh, yeah, it sucks.
Ron: We're not actually doing dry jam.
Ron: We're doing what we're calling wholesome Jan.
Laura: Which she sounds much more.
Ron: Wholesome Jan is like dry Jan, where you don't really drink a lot, but we all had commitments that we knew we'd have to drink.
Ron: That's.
Ron: But then we're making.
Laura: You don't have to drink at anything.
Ron: Oh, you do.
Ron: I've got a work event.
Ron: I'm not f****** doing that sober.
Laura: Is it in Brighton?
Laura: Are you coming to Brighton?
Ron: No, it's in.
Ron: So we've made up for that by doing wholesome jam.
Ron: So we went to Cheddar.
Ron: I'm doing like this, volunteering, and we went and played bridge at a spanish bar and things like this.
Laura: Oh, I love that, Ron.
Laura: That's really lovely.
Ron: We should save some of this chat for the.
Laura: Okay.
Ron: Because we've been, well, waffling.
Laura: We have.
Laura: We're just catching up, mate.
Ron: Yeah, we haven't chatted in a while.
Laura: We've got loads.
Laura: I've also just eaten loads of chocolate peanuts because I was really hungry and I didn't have time for dinner in between trying to buy a carpet and coming here, so I ate a lot of chocolate peanuts.
Laura: That's the wrong notes.
Laura: I don't think there was anything to say before the show today.
Laura: You can just listen and love it.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You see, we now are recording.
Laura: It's January when you're listening to this, but for us it is still the December weeks before Christmas.
Laura: I've got a whole stack of Ferrero Rocher just waiting for me to not feel sick.
Laura: Hi, Ron.
Laura: How's your life?
Ron: It's good.
Ron: Looking forward to getting back into a routine this week.
Laura: You can't get into a routine mid December.
Laura: That's dumb dumbs.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because now's the time to be p****** your routines into the wind.
Ron: No.
Ron: Why would that be?
Laura: Because you're just about to go christmasing next week.
Ron: That's not true.
Ron: It's still over two weeks till Christmas.
Laura: No, in two weeks time it will be Christmas Eve.
Ron: In over two weeks it will be Christmas.
Laura: Come off it.
Laura: It's less than two weeks until the Christmas going downness and celebratoriness begins.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And then that's when you put life aside.
Ron: Suck off December, because that's a twelveth of your life.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: One in twelve days of your life is December.
Laura: Yeah, one in twelve spicy days.
Ron: But you can't just.
Ron: Why is this pen so oily?
Ron: You can't just ignore the world for.
Laura: The time I can and I do.
Ron: Foolish.
Ron: Well, you know what's crazy?
Ron: Months.
Ron: Why did they move them all around, but then not rename them?
Laura: What do you mean, Ron?
Ron: Well, like, it's called October, November, December, September.
Ron: All of these things to relate to the number months that they used to be.
Ron: Oct.
Ron: Eight nor nine, deck ten.
Ron: But then Julie, Julia or Augustus, they're named after Julius Caesar and Augustus.
Ron: They inserted their names in and didn't rejig the ones that were named after numbers.
Laura: Yeah, they should have put their ones just at the beginning or the end.
Ron: I assume they wanted it to be summer months.
Ron: It would be nice for them, but weird, though.
Ron: Bad.
Ron: Change it.
Laura: But, like, the first six aren't numerical, are they?
Ron: No.
Ron: January is named after Janice, so it's.
Laura: Really only the last one.
Laura: So I guess they just thought, oh, who even still speaks Latin?
Laura: Nobody, don't worry.
Ron: Yeah, I guess.
Ron: But you see what I'm saying.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I think it's time we move time and dates over to the metric system anyway.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because seven is a stupid number that's not really working for weeks.
Laura: That's too hard to add up.
Laura: Tens.
Laura: Let's just do it in tens.
Laura: That's easier.
Laura: The months are all different lengths and times and dates, and let's just sturdy them all up at a solid 30 each or whatever, three weeks a month, smashing it.
Laura: When I'm working out what days these episodes are going to drop on, and I'm trying to add up sevens, and all the months have different numbers in them.
Laura: So you can't just look at a calendar.
Laura: What?
Ron: Look at a calendar.
Laura: I do sometimes, but I can't be clicking between a calendar and the page.
Ron: Get it up on your phone.
Laura: Yeah, that's a good idea.
Ron: Nobody's expecting you to count in sevens.
Laura: Well, they are, because that's how you add up weeks.
Ron: But it's also not hard to count in sevens.
Laura: No, but tens is easier.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: There aren't ten days in a week.
Laura: But there could be.
Ron: I don't know if that would work or be better, because sure as s***, in this world that we live in, this cesspit of iniquity, they're not going to give us more weekend, Laura.
Ron: Then we're working eight days and getting a weekend or two.
Laura: Well, that's what the Beatles wanted.
Ron: No, they were.
Ron: Well, the Beatles actually quite ahead of their time.
Ron: They're going for more of a base eight system, which is more similar to megabytes and stuff.
Ron: So they're kind of onto that.
Laura: I don't know what you're talking about now.
Ron: That's fine.
Ron: Have you never noticed how when you buy, like, a phone or something, it's always got either 816, 32, 64, 128 gig?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Go eight bit.
Ron: Eight bit, yeah.
Ron: Eight bits a week was the original lyrics of that.
Laura: Bits a week.
Laura: Eight bits a week makes a gig.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And then everybody went and we're at a gig.
Laura: We're at the Cavern Club.
Ron: What's a gig, John?
Laura: Is that one of the vultures?
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Who was voiced by.
Ron: They wanted them to be voiced by the Beatles.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: And the Beatles were like, no, no, beatles.
Ron: Busy.
Laura: F*** you, Disney.
Ron: Who's your favourite beatle?
Laura: George Harrison.
Ron: Why is that?
Laura: I like his solo music the best.
Ron: Really?
Laura: My sweet Lord Krishna.
Laura: Krishna.
Laura: That is just a banging track.
Laura: I love it.
Ron: Really good track.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Who's your favourite Beatle?
Ron: Probably used to be George, but I think after watching get back, probably.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Laura: Paul just annoyed me at Glastonbury.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because he just was a bit like.
Laura: He just wouldn't play bangers.
Laura: And it was like, I totally get not wanting to always play your bangers, but then don't get booked as Glastonbury headliner.
Laura: It's like rock and roll to just be like, hey, I'm 75, man.
Laura: I'll just play what I want to play.
Laura: But then like to say to the crowd, hey, we can see how much you light up every time we play one of the old ones.
Laura: Here's something we wrote this morning.
Laura: You're like, just, oh, for f***'s sake.
Laura: Then go and play a gig to your superfans that want this s***.
Laura: Like, I could be watching Lizzo.
Ron: I presume you did.
Ron: Then go watch Lizzo.
Laura: No, I think we stayed and watched the whole thing just in case it got good.
Laura: It didn't.
Ron: What songs were you hoping for?
Laura: I don't know.
Laura: Good ones?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Funky stuff.
Laura: Superstition.
Ron: Wonderful Christmas time.
Laura: Yeah, that would have been.
Laura: Absolutely.
Laura: That would have slayed.
Laura: No, wait, wizard.
Laura: That would have been epic, I think.
Laura: Blackbird, he played.
Laura: That was good.
Laura: Blackbird hanging in the dead of night.
Laura: But anyway, yeah, I was really worried I was going to get loads of blowback when I did mastermind, and there was a question about who headlined and I went, Paul McCartney.
Laura: I was there and I was knowing, but I forgot that I wouldn't get a chance to explain that.
Laura: So it's just.
Laura: Who headlined 2022 Glastonbury?
Laura: Paul McCartney.
Laura: And then just moved on.
Laura: I hope he wasn't watching.
Laura: He just like, what shall I do to upset this?
Ron: Oh, no.
Ron: Why have I upset this woman?
Laura: And they, like, flew in Bruce Springsteen or someone or.
Laura: No, that foo fighter guy, Dave Grohl.
Laura: Just to play with him for a bit.
Laura: And it was just like, don't pretend you're this festival of recycling and nobody p****** the hedges in case it upsets the water table if you're just going to fly someone in.
Laura: No, it was Bruce Springsteen, actually.
Laura: I think, like, fly a guy in just to play two songs and go.
Ron: I think Bruce Springsteen was touring the UK at the time.
Laura: They said he'd flown in especially to do that.
Ron: Well, Mum, a friend of the podcast Noah and sister, a friend of the podcast Noah, went and saw Bruce around that time.
Laura: Okay, well, then I'll slightly forgive them, but just annoyed me.
Laura: I think festivals on the whole, just annoy me.
Laura: I don't like them.
Ron: No, you should stop going to them.
Laura: I really should.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: You should keep getting me free tickets, though.
Laura: Well, I've got you free tickets.
Laura: That Glaston roommate and you.
Ron: I had f****** Covid.
Laura: Yep.
Laura: You're stalling again.
Laura: You keep stalling on chemistry lately.
Laura: Do you not want to do chemistry?
Ron: So boring, man.
Ron: So boring.
Ron: How long did I kill?
Laura: What we doing?
Ron: How long did I kill?
Laura: I don't know, actually.
Laura: Where's the little thing gone?
Laura: Oh, 9 minutes.
Ron: Not bad.
Laura: He's dying.
Ron: Oh, God.
Ron: It just won't go away.
Ron: Feel like crap I've done for ages.
Ron: Life's a relentless merry go round.
Laura: But, hey, Monday tomorrow, you get to go back to work.
Laura: Yeah, Monday today.
Laura: For the people listening.
Laura: I just assume everybody listens at 01:00 a.m.
Laura: When I drop the episodes.
Ron: Well, the listener stats sure seem to think so.
Laura: Yeah, boy.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So, 5.8.1 .3 chromatography.
Laura: Ooh, that sounds exciting.
Ron: It's really not.
Ron: We're in dry bones.
Ron: Dry bones.
Laura: Dry bones chromatography.
Laura: The new film from Ridley Scott starring that man with the big face that makes a really good bad guy, but you reckon is probably fun in real life.
Ron: Now, numbers fans will have noticed that we did 5.8.1 .1 last time.
Ron: Pure substances.
Ron: And then today we've skipped straight to 5.8.1 .3 chromatography.
Ron: You'll notice that we did not do 5.8.1.
Laura: .2 you're getting quieter and quieter as you get Boringer and Boringer formulations and celebrations.
Laura: I want the molecules to make a certain shape.
Ron: Now I.
Laura: Come on, Ron.
Laura: Give me something for that.
Laura: That was pretty good.
Ron: I didn't even really get it.
Laura: It's a song.
Laura: Celebration and jubilations I want the world to know that I'm in love with.
Ron: You no, I don't know the song.
Laura: You didn't watch much EastEnders in the early 90s.
Ron: I've never seen an episode of EastEnders.
Laura: Why?
Ron: I've never been on.
Laura: Think it's on every night.
Ron: No one I know watches it.
Laura: Oh, let's watch it over Christmas.
Laura: Let's get really into EastEnders together.
Ron: No, I already do this f****** podcast.
Laura: All right, well, let's stop doing the podcast and just start watching EastEnders.
Ron: No, I don't want to watch EastEnders.
Laura: We could watch every other episode and then try.
Laura: Why?
Ron: No.
Laura: I mean, we'll alternate.
Laura: I watch one, you watch the next one, and then we'll piece together the plots by discussing it together.
Ron: Why don't you just watch it all and tell me about it?
Laura: Because you won't care.
Ron: I won't care if I'm watching it.
Laura: Okay, fine.
Laura: We won't, then.
Ron: No, don't act like that.
Ron: This is manipulative behavior.
Ron: Acting like I am being a bad guy.
Laura: Someone, if they want to do something.
Ron: Yeah, but then pretend that you're really upset because I've said no, I don't want to watch EastEnders with you.
Ron: Something that we've never discussed before.
Ron: We already hang out loads.
Ron: It's fine.
Ron: I don't want to watch EastEnders behaving really upset.
Laura: You want to see me behave really upset?
Laura: I'll behave really upset.
Laura: This is not it.
Ron: Anyway.
Ron: 5.8.
Ron: What was that?
Laura: My guillotine.
Ron: That's loud, Laura.
Laura: Yeah, I'm listening.
Laura: You're just repeating numbers and talking about something we didn't do.
Ron: F****** playing with stuff on your desk.
Ron: And this is an audio medium.
Ron: It's really.
Laura: Oh, that is f****** rich.
Laura: Mr.
Laura: Audio medium.
Laura: Mr.
Laura: Making love to an olive.
Laura: Mr.
Laura: I'm gonna have a drink and sit in a squishy chair, f****** smack in the desk all the time.
Laura: Mr.
Laura: Audio medium.
Laura: How dare you?
Ron: But you tell me off for that?
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: How does this work, Laurie?
Ron: It doesn't need to right now, but.
Laura: I won't be able to concentrate until.
Ron: I'm throwing an absolute s*** fit because I said I didn't watch EastEnders.
Laura: Stop bringing it up, then.
Laura: I'm not even the one bringing it up.
Laura: You don't want to watch it, fine.
Laura: Me neither, buddy.
Laura: Don't stand.
Laura: Talk about your numbers to the people that care about numbers.
Ron: I'm not.
Ron: I'm talking to you about chemistry.
Laura: But you were just discussing the bit we didn't do.
Laura: And you said, this is for the numbers fans, of which I famously am not one.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: No, but I can't just be me reading the syllabus.
Ron: The camera.
Laura: Oh, you're happy to spend 8 minutes, think they're going, fine.
Laura: Point four, point one, point two, point nine was about.
Ron: So people know where we are in the syllabus.
Laura: No, they don't, you deluded goat.
Laura: Nobody cares or knows.
Ron: Well, thanks for calling me a goat, actually, because that stands for greatest of all time.
Laura: Greatest of a** time.
Laura: That's what it means.
Ron: I do have some good a** time.
Ron: Laura, can you come back?
Laura: I'm listening.
Laura: Okay, put it down.
Laura: I put it down.
Ron: So 5.8.1 .2 was formulations.
Ron: Laura.
Ron: Yes, I can see you're not listening.
Ron: Can see you're not listening.
Laura: I'm listening.
Laura: 5.8.1 .2 was formulations.
Ron: No.
Ron: As you say to will duggan all the time in things that happen.
Laura: I don't say anything to will duggan anymore because he doesn't speak to me.
Ron: Did you used to watch EastEnders with Will?
Ron: Is that what this is?
Laura: No, I've never really watched EastEnders either.
Laura: Ron thought it would be a cute thing we could do, seeing as you don't want to have brunch with me.
Ron: I want to have brunch with you.
Ron: We can have invited them.
Ron: Invite me to brunch.
Laura: We invited you to a f****** week of brunches.
Ron: When?
Laura: When you stayed at my house for.
Ron: This week and we hung out loads.
Laura: Yeah, and it was nice.
Laura: I don't know why you want to make me feel guilty for the time you give up to spend with me.
Ron: I don't.
Ron: You're trying to make me feel guilty for hanging out with our other sisters sometimes.
Laura: No, I'm not.
Laura: I'm trying to say, hey, happily, have a nice time with our other sister, but watch you.
Ron: What?
Laura: I don't even know.
Laura: I don't want to watch EastEnders.
Laura: Just f****** get through this bit where you are desperate to tell people what we didn't study.
Ron: Yeah, because.
Ron: Laura, listen to this.
Ron: Right, listen.
Laura: I'm listening.
Ron: Eye contact.
Laura: I don't want to make.
Laura: We never make eye contact.
Laura: How would us making eye contact help?
Ron: Can you just focus up and stop looking at the guillotine that's clearly over there?
Ron: Okay, so 5.8.1 .2 formulation.
Ron: Slurring right, get this.
Ron: And this is why we skipped it.
Ron: A formulation is a mixture that has been designed as a useful product and they just wanted that to be.
Ron: There's three paragraphs on that.
Ron: Just that formulations are useful mixtures.
Laura: That honestly doesn't sound that different to anything else we learned to me.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: Okay.
Laura: Other things are like, oh, and this is an envelope molecule, and this one is an unstable chemical attribute.
Laura: I don't know what any of it.
Laura: I can never tell which bits are the main characters.
Ron: Yeah, fair.
Ron: Okay, well, we'll move on to 5.8.1.
Ron: .3 chromatography.
Ron: Have you ever heard of chromatography before, Laura?
Laura: I think it was an album by in excess.
Ron: No, there is an album called chromatography.
Laura: Who's it by?
Ron: By a band called second person.
Laura: Can I have a point for that?
Ron: Sure.
Ron: Its genre is post trip hop.
Laura: F****** h***.
Ron: It was independently released.
Laura: I hate Sasha and peppers for what they've done to me.
Laura: I'm scared I'll never be the same again.
Ron: They're from London.
Ron: Yeah, they were going for ten years.
Ron: So chromatography law is.
Ron: Do you remember what we were doing in chemistry last time?
Laura: Alkanes.
Laura: Cracking them.
Ron: No, that was a while back.
Laura: Tryptomania.
Ron: Tryptics.
Laura: What, qualitative and quantitative?
Ron: Yeah, we're doing chemical tests.
Laura: Chemical analyses.
Laura: Titraniums.
Ron: Titration.
Laura: Titration.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: This is kind of the last bit of that.
Ron: Chromatography is a chemical test, effectively.
Ron: Is there anything that you can work out from the word chromatography?
Ron: It might give you a clue to how it works.
Laura: It's about colors.
Ron: It is about colors, yes.
Ron: You probably did a chromatography experiment when you were at school.
Laura: Litmus paper.
Ron: No.
Laura: Iodine?
Ron: No.
Laura: Magnesium.
Ron: Bunson.
Ron: The Labrat on Twitter did an experiment that was basically chromatography but just didn't measure anything.
Laura: That's my kind of experiment.
Laura: Oh, God.
Laura: Do you remember having to do the write ups in science at school?
Laura: Introduction, thesis, method, and then analysis.
Laura: And it all had to be like, summary or like, results at the end.
Ron: This band, second person, Laura, they recorded a live dvd.
Ron: Guess where?
Laura: Alexandra palace.
Ron: No, the Bedford in Ballum.
Laura: Oh, hi, baby.
Laura: Did you have a nice bath?
Laura: Bye bye.
Laura: Bath.
Laura: We've played there.
Laura: We've played at the same place as.
Ron: Second person, who have an album called chromatography.
Laura: Let's call our next live show chromatography and invite them.
Ron: Okay.
Ron: We could invite Julia Johnson, Mark McLean and Alvaro Lopez.
Laura: I think we should.
Laura: It would be rude not to.
Ron: They even had guest musicians, DJ Shylock and Mike Alston.
Laura: I love Mike Alston.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And it was directed by Susan Luciana.
Laura: It's a lot of people involved.
Ron: Edited by.
Laura: I'd love to.
Ron: Pierre Angelo Pirac and Ben King in.
Laura: That big room at the Bedford.
Laura: A music gig would be great in.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Yeah, that was great.
Laura: Imagine seeing future islands in there.
Ron: It might be where they did it.
Ron: Doesn't say which room.
Laura: Yeah, it'd be that room, probably.
Ron: Anywho, it was the one with the Skittles.
Laura: Oh.
Laura: Where all the color ran out of them.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Do you remember doing that at school?
Laura: No.
Ron: Sometimes you did chromatography.
Ron: It's basically the separation of different chemicals in a solvent.
Laura: Oh, God.
Laura: I just instantly pictured Sophie's choice.
Ron: Why?
Laura: Because you said separation and I thought about her having to choose between her kids.
Laura: I hate my brain.
Laura: It's not helpful.
Laura: Separation of chemicals.
Laura: What did you say?
Laura: In a solvent.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: So you separate them in a solvent and then you.
Ron: Solvent abuse can kill the one that a lot of listeners will remember doing this.
Ron: So you do paper chromatography when you're at school.
Ron: So you get a skittle.
Laura: Is that where you have to put coins in each time you want to do chromatography rather than just having a subscription?
Ron: Very nice.
Laura: Thank you.
Ron: So you put them in a little wee bit of water and then you put the skittle on some paper.
Ron: And then the water soaks into the paper.
Ron: Now, what do you think is going to happen here, Laura?
Laura: The colour dye will zoom out of the skittle and into the wet paper.
Ron: Yep.
Ron: Do you want to describe it a bit more?
Laura: Oh, look at the purple go.
Ron: So the different colors move at different speeds.
Laura: All right, cool.
Laura: I didn't know that.
Ron: No, because they'll be made a different.
Laura: Lime dragging its feet, because it knows nobody likes it.
Ron: They'll be different sizes, they'll be interacting with stuff along the way in different ways.
Ron: So some move quicker and some move faster than others.
Ron: So, for example, if you did this with a green skittle, you would probably see one blue blob and one yellow blob having moved away from the Skittle.
Laura: That's fun.
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: You never think that when you're eating a green skittle, do you?
Laura: You're actually eating a blue and a yellow skittle, just really mushed together.
Ron: Yeah, I never think that.
Laura: But you are.
Ron: I will now we can measure this a bit, Laura.
Laura: What?
Laura: Skittles?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: So about six mil?
Laura: No, about 6 mm across.
Laura: Aren't a skittle.
Ron: No.
Laura: How big is a skittle?
Ron: I'd guess about twelve mil.
Laura: No, that's too big.
Laura: Behave.
Laura: Surely I've got a ruler somewhere on this desk.
Ron: You don't have a skittle.
Laura: That's true.
Laura: Here we go.
Laura: Oh, look at my foldable shatterproof ruler.
Laura: Twelve mil.
Laura: No, your bananas.
Laura: Oh, maybe you're right.
Laura: No, six is too small.
Laura: I reckon about ten mil, I think.
Laura: Ten.
Ron: Ron, I'm googling.
Ron: Don't you worry.
Ron: This website says a single candy is 15 diameter.
Laura: Bloody h***.
Laura: That's much bigger than I'd have thought.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Average skittle is 1.5 cm.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: Nice one, Skittles.
Laura: You are not messing about, lads.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Wow.
Ron: It's hard to Google because sometimes it's talking about Skittles as in bowling.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Laurie, are you playing with that f****** guillotine again?
Laura: I really want to get it open.
Ron: Ron, you don't have to.
Laura: I want to.
Laura: I don't understand.
Laura: It's definitely got a bit there that is meant to swing, right, because then there's degrees on that bit, but it won't open now.
Ron: Keep watching, listener, because some point soon, she's going to turn all of this into a wheelbarrow.
Ron: The sage mechanic that she is.
Laura: You're obsessed with that f****** wheelbarrow.
Laura: Oh, I've done it.
Laura: Stab myself with the scissors.
Laura: I've done it, Ron.
Laura: Action.
Laura: Oh, it's shut again.
Laura: All right.
Laura: But.
Laura: Oh, yeah, it's just stiff, that's all.
Laura: But this inventor came up with a solution.
Ron: All right, what's it for?
Laura: What?
Ron: That bit that you've just unfold.
Laura: Oh, this?
Laura: It's for when you want to cut on an angle.
Laura: You can use this to line the paper up so that you slice the right angle.
Laura: So, like, say I want to get a 90 degree angle on my cut.
Laura: I can use that.
Laura: Boop.
Ron: I don't really see how that helps.
Laura: Well, that's because you're thick.
Laura: Me neither.
Laura: They're also.
Laura: No, they're on.
Laura: Bought this in Edinburgh for cutting up stars to go.
Laura: My posters.
Laura: Surprised it still works, the amount of use it got.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: And how long it's been.
Laura: F*** Edinburgh, man.
Ron: So things get an RF value when you do chromatography for rf, capital r and then a tiny little f tucked down at the bottom that equals the distance.
Laura: What?
Ron: But no f.
Ron: The substance, but no f.
Ron: What?
Laura: Didn't you say an RF value?
Ron: Yeah, an RF value.
Ron: Capital r, and then a tiny little f tucked away.
Laura: You said tiny little r.
Laura: I don't think I did.
Laura: You did.
Ron: I don't think I did.
Laura: You did.
Ron: I don't think I did.
Laura: Yes, you did.
Laura: Rough.
Laura: Two sexy letters.
Laura: An r and an f, a capital r and a little f together.
Laura: Looks really like Georgian.
Laura: Like two, like absolute 18th century lads, you know, draw it.
Laura: Look at it.
Laura: They look really dapper.
Laura: Capital r and a little left together, like.
Laura: Oh, hello, it's Gaston and Lefou.
Laura: Join in on the bit, Ron.
Laura: Let's do a classic bit.
Laura: No, he doesn't want to.
Ron: I mean, it's phenomenal.
Ron: I think scholars might study this podcast one day about maybe the effect of just the modern world on people's brains.
Ron: That you could hear the word separation, and that leads you instantly to Sophie's choice with your mood visibly affected.
Ron: Anthropomorphize two letters next to each other to a single time point in history.
Laura: Mad man, busy brain.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Wow.
Laura: All while trying to stop imagining eating a spicy seshuan dish that's made me feel sick for six days.
Ron: It hasn't been that, Laura.
Ron: What?
Ron: Wasn't that that made you sick?
Laura: No, I know, but now, because it's all tied in.
Laura: I had the same thing at school once where I made little star shaped chocolate cookies, and I ate too many of them on the bus home, and then I got sick that night, and I wasn't sure if it was the cookies or not.
Laura: And then all I could think about was eating more of those cookies, even though the thought of eating them was making me feel sick, and I had to go downstairs in the middle of the night and just throw them in the bin.
Laura: I've had to have Tom throw away all those szechuan peppercorns because I can't have them in the cupboard because me feel sick.
Laura: Well, they've gone now, and so it's bad and wasteful because I can't.
Ron: The paste can go, but they're making it.
Ron: It was the paste that made it taste bad.
Laura: I thought that was the paste in the bag, not the paste in the jar.
Ron: No, it was the paste in the bag that did that.
Laura: Oh, yeah, the jar's gone, too now because I can't.
Ron: Why is the jar gone?
Laura: Because I can't look at it.
Ron: Tom really liked that.
Ron: I really liked it.
Laura: I've been sick for six days, and I can't have any of those things around.
Laura: I can't have them hissing at me from the cupboard.
Ron: That's so delicious, man.
Ron: You didn't even have any of that.
Laura: I did.
Laura: It was in the dinner.
Ron: What, the chilies in the jar?
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: It wasn't in the recipe.
Laura: Yes, it was.
Ron: No, it wasn't.
Ron: I bought that just because I liked them.
Laura: No, it was in the recipe.
Laura: La.
Ron: The Lao gon ma.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: The chinese ingredient.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: No, the preserved black beans were.
Laura: No, the other thing was too.
Laura: Because I sent you the Zhang stuff.
Laura: Hi.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Which was the brown paste in the bag.
Laura: No, there were two pastes and I'm going to send you a photo of the recipe afterwards.
Laura: Anyway, can we stop talking about it?
Laura: It makes me feel sick to think.
Ron: You threw away that stuff that you didn't even eat.
Laura: But I just couldn't have it in the house.
Laura: Evil.
Laura: I've had heartburn this week for the first time in my life.
Laura: Like, I've ruined my body.
Ron: Did you hear that?
Laura: No.
Laura: What happened?
Ron: It's the wire in the house wire.
Laura: Episode that's confusing, though, for people that have actually watched the wire.
Ron: I've never watched the wire.
Ron: Have you watched it?
Laura: No.
Laura: I also started watching succession the other day because of how many people have banged on about it.
Laura: Just didn't really get gripped.
Laura: Do you have to watch loads of it before it's gripping?
Laura: Is it one of those?
Laura: I've watched like three or four episodes and was like.
Laura: I mean, it's fine.
Laura: I don't quite see why it's like the best thing in the whole wide world, but I'm willing to watch more.
Ron: I've never watched it seem like my.
Laura: Sort of thing and I would go back and watch it if I had HBO normally, but I might just watch it whenever I'm at mum and Dad's.
Ron: Fair.
Ron: I really want to watch the block.
Laura: You can.
Ron: I can carry on that season.
Laura: It's on Amazon prime.
Laura: You've got prime, haven't you?
Ron: No.
Ron: Maybe I'm logged into yours.
Ron: I don't know.
Laura: Maybe.
Laura: You're welcome to carry on watching everyone.
Ron: Thank you.
Ron: I might.
Laura: But you have to text me every time Andrew annoys you.
Ron: Oh, God, all the time.
Ron: Runty little man.
Laura: I'm working as hard as.
Ron: He just.
Ron: It's not even the fact that he is just completely incompetent and overwhelmed all the time.
Ron: It's just the way he does it.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Ugly crier.
Laura: Anyway, Ron.
Ron: Ugly when he's not crying.
Laura: We've been recording for 33 minutes and so far I've drawn a picture of a wet skittle.
Ron: Yeah, because I keep on trying to tell you about this RF value and you're banging on about some georgian lads.
Laura: That was like 10 minutes ago and it was one time.
Ron: So an RF value is equal to the distance moved by the substance divided by the distance moved by the soldier.
Ron: I've said two things.
Ron: I've said two things.
Laura: I haven't even selected a color pen.
Ron: Well, you should be able to hold that in your brain.
Ron: It's not that much.
Ron: Distance of the move by the substance.
Ron: The distance moved by the soldier.
Laura: No, that is not how I work.
Laura: I can't retain auditory information that fast.
Laura: Distance of the sub nut.
Laura: What?
Laura: Distance removed.
Laura: Distance.
Ron: You're so f****** stupid.
Laura: What did you say?
Laura: Distance.
Ron: Distance moved by the substance divided by the solvent.
Laura: There.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Laura: Have some phrasing in your life, Laura.
Ron: Do you think that maybe if you just listened and didn't shout while I was telling you things, you might retain it better?
Laura: No, because I don't process information audibly very well.
Ron: It's a podcast.
Ron: I can't help that I have to say things in sentences.
Laura: You can break the sentences up.
Ron: You're not the only f****** person listening to it, mate.
Laura: I'm the only person learning it.
Ron: This isn't just a chat that we're having.
Ron: I can't just be like, distance move.
Laura: I didn't ask you to do that.
Laura: Just say, distance moved by the substance.
Laura: Pause.
Laura: Wait for me to write that down next bit.
Ron: Distance moved by the solvent.
Laura: Distance moved by the substance.
Laura: Distance moved by the solvent.
Ron: Yes.
Laura: That doesn't make any sense.
Ron: Distance moved by the substance divided by the distance moved by the solvent.
Laura: So should the r and the f be above each other?
Ron: No, the r and the f is on the other side of an equals sign.
Ron: RF equals distance moved by the substance over the distance moved by the solvent.
Laura: Okay, but that's not r times f.
Laura: That's just rf means this.
Ron: No, the f is small and down by the R's feet.
Laura: Yeah, that's what I've done, but that's where it would be if it was a small f.
Laura: Anyway, not that he's.
Ron: The Lafou of the gang, it should be smaller.
Ron: Let me send you a small picture.
Laura: This can be like whoa, all over again.
Ron: No, why?
Laura: And what was rf?
Laura: What did it mean?
Laura: It's the distance moved by the distance moved by the rf, though.
Laura: What does that stand for?
Ron: It's the rf value that different compounds have when you put them through chromatography.
Laura: Why is it called an RF value?
Ron: Just is, mate.
Laura: That's s***.
Laura: And what does the RF value used for?
Ron: What do you think?
Laura: Don't know.
Ron: Want to hazard a guess, or should I just tell you?
Ron: Why are you blinking modes?
Laura: Because I was doing hazard lights while I was guessing.
Laura: Wow.
Laura: Could you hear me blinking?
Ron: No.
Laura: You can really hear my eyes.
Ron: Yeah, now I can I think they're dry?
Laura: I've drunk so much water this week, Ron.
Laura: You'd be so proud.
Ron: Nice one, eh?
Laura: Does it tell you the size of the substance?
Ron: No.
Ron: So remember that we're talking about different chemical tests for identifying different chemicals.
Laura: Are we?
Ron: Yeah.
Laura: Does it tell you what the chemical is?
Ron: Well, if each chemical has an RF value, then we could use chromatography to work out what different chemicals are, can't we?
Ron: Okay, does that not make sense?
Laura: Well, how do you know what the RF value is?
Ron: Well, you do some chromatography and you measure things.
Laura: Is this like a chicken and egg situation?
Laura: No, you have to know the RF value in order to do chromatography.
Laura: But you have to do chromatography to find out the RF value.
Ron: No, you have access to sort of knowledge.
Laura: Where did we get that knowledge from?
Ron: We did some chromatography and measured things.
Ron: You know that this isn't the only way to work out what something is.
Ron: At some point we had some or something.
Ron: We did some chromatography and we worked out the RF value and then that's just banked.
Ron: You can take that, that you can use forever.
Laura: Chromatography is getting it wet and putting it on tissue, basically.
Laura: Okay.
Laura: I feel like they've run out of science now and they're just wasting our time a little bit with this.
Laura: You can't go from like, Jupiter is a big old space object to put stuff on wet tissue.
Laura: This is still science.
Laura: This is some scud level science.
Ron: Why this works.
Laura: Yeah, but it just feels a bit basic.
Laura: It feels like that time where we put an egg on a heater, kind of like.
Ron: Sort of like the wheelbarrow of chemistry chromatography.
Ron: Just simple, Hardy.
Ron: It works.
Laura: No, because I don't.
Ron: More of an effect than the helicopter.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Why wouldn't we still be doing it?
Laura: Why would we need to?
Ron: To work out what different chemicals are.
Laura: There's no way a scientist first port of call is put it on this wet tissue and see what it is.
Ron: Why not?
Laura: Because not all chemicals are colored.
Ron: No, but it's not always done by the color.
Ron: You can get, like machines that do chromatography as well and they'll just know what's in the tube.
Laura: All right, well, that's not wet tissue then, is it?
Laura: That's a machine.
Ron: No, it's not always wet tissue.
Laura: For f***'s sake.
Laura: I don't even know what we're learning.
Laura: This quiz is going to be an absolute s*** show.
Laura: So that's chromatography what was it, though?
Ron: You dissolve something in a substance, it moves through a substrate.
Ron: How far it moves relative to the solvent.
Ron: Chromatography, raw f value.
Laura: This is absolute waffle.
Ron: Do you want to do some more?
Laura: No, I don't at all.
Ron: All right, next time we move on to 5.8.2.
Ron: Identification of common gases.
Laura: Let me guess, you put them on a sponge and see what the sponge says.
Ron: No, a lot of it is putting them in tubes.
Laura: Spoilers.
Laura: We literally only did this yesterday, so how bad can it be?
Ron: It was a scrappy ep yesterday, though.
Ron: We will see how bad it can be.
Laura: Yeah, I don't really get what we did.
Laura: I was looking at the notes just now while I was waiting for you, and I was just.
Laura: The f*** was it?
Laura: What was it?
Laura: I don't even know what it was.
Ron: Mostly we argued about this f****** wheelbarrow discourse that's been going on.
Laura: I can't believe you're now shifting.
Ron: No, you're shifting what the focal point of the argument is, Laura, the bit in the first episode where we started talking about this.
Ron: Wheelbarrow versus helicopter, more impactful.
Ron: All I said was, you might want to talk to the people of Vietnam about that.
Ron: The main crux of the argument is the audacity of you to say that everything you could possibly have invented are just things that have already been invented.
Ron: And if you'd been putting up the pyramids alongside Tutankhamun himself, you'd have been there like, oh, great leader, if only we had a bucket with one wheel and two sticks attached to it.
Ron: That's insane when you've invented nothing.
Laura: And then we get back round and I'm loathe to just repeat episode 78 again, but I have invented something.
Laura: The apple sorter.
Laura: When I was faced with a problem, I fixed it.
Laura: Now ask me about chronography.
Laura: Chromatography.
Ron: Laura, question number one.
Ron: What is chromatography for?
Ron: For two marks?
Laura: F****** don't know.
Laura: It's something like measuring how fast your chemicals are.
Laura: I think it's like, how fast can you go compared to this wet stuff we've put you in?
Laura: And then why did you want to know how fast it was?
Laura: Unravel the string.
Laura: Because how fast it goes tells you what it is.
Laura: I think it's for chemical analysis.
Ron: Yes, it is.
Ron: It's not really about how fast it goes.
Laura: It was.
Ron: Okay, I'll give you a mark for that.
Ron: It was a mark out of two.
Laura: Thank you.
Laura: Sorry, what did I say?
Ron: That it was quantitative chemical analysis.
Ron: It's not qualitative.
Laura: I don't think we discussed that.
Ron: We discussed it a couple of episodes ago.
Laura: Oh God.
Laura: I had nugget tea for dinner.
Laura: I've got the right beige burps now.
Ron: I've bought some Aldi is banging for plant based food, and I've bought some like plant based beef strips.
Ron: Ariane, fajitos.
Laura: You left your salmon here.
Ron: I did.
Ron: I kept on opening and you left.
Laura: Some more oat milk.
Ron: Yeah, I poured all the oat milk because I had two oat milks, one that I'd bought in the office and one that I'd bought at your gaff.
Ron: And then I poured them all into one bottle to take it with me and then left that on the side.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Shall I freeze it?
Laura: Can you freeze it?
Ron: I imagine you can freeze it.
Ron: Yeah, that would be banging.
Laura: I'll freeze it for next time you're here.
Ron: Thanks, mate.
Ron: Read a salmon.
Ron: I kept opening your fridge and seeing it and being like, I should eat that, but then seeing something else I wanted to eat more.
Laura: That's how I feel about it too.
Laura: I had eggs today and could have used it on those eggs and didn't.
Ron: But we were really enthusiastic about it when we first tried.
Laura: Oh yeah, it's vegan salmon, by the way, we should say it's not just salmon.
Ron: Oh yeah, we're not just wasting smoked salmon kings back in the day.
Ron: No, yeah, it was vegan smoked salmon.
Laura: And the peasant knuckles.
Laura: It just didn't seem like something I wanted to branch upon.
Ron: I mean, it does make us the worst kind of c**** that we're discussing.
Ron: Vegan, like you say, only, but could be worse if it was vegan foie gras or something.
Ron: Yes.
Ron: Why were we talking about this?
Ron: Oh, because I wanted to talk about food.
Ron: I don't find crayon interesting either.
Ron: No, I've just been to the gym, so I've had a protein shake, so I'm not, I think I'm hungry, which is why I want to talk about trying to get.
Laura: I tried to have nuggy tea with child of the podcast, because apparently it's helpful with toddlers who are fussy eaters to eat with them and put all the food in a plate in the middle and let them see you serving it out and choose what they want.
Laura: Nah, mate, no, that kid just doesn't want to eat anything.
Ron: She just doesn't seem to like dinner.
Ron: Lunch she seems fine with.
Laura: Mostly, yeah, depends what it is.
Ron: Oh, well, she's cool though.
Laura: Yeah, she's funny today.
Ron: Laura what's an RF value?
Ron: This is where you just give me the formula you don't necessarily have.
Laura: Oh, okay.
Laura: Distance moved by the substance divided by distance moved by the solvent.
Ron: Absolutely rough.
Ron: Different chemicals will have basically unique RF values so we can use that to help identify things.
Ron: Yeah, okay.
Laura: Like a postcode.
Ron: So Laura, I've lifted some questions directly from BBC bitesize, so I haven't worked out the answers to these.
Ron: I don't have to.
Ron: There's a button I can click on and it will tell me, how do.
Laura: You feel about that dog s***, mate?
Ron: Why?
Laura: I just think that you should be like showing me how to love learning by loving learning yourself.
Ron: I loved learning the first time round when I did this over ten years ago.
Laura: Me too.
Laura: But 20 years ago.
Ron: Yes, but I've retained that info so I get to be a bit of a d*** about it.
Laura: Fine.
Ron: So Laura, first question.
Ron: We're just going to calculate an RF value.
Ron: I want you to give me this to two.
Ron: It's dividing one number by the other.
Ron: You credit.
Laura: Then let's not do it if we know how to do it.
Laura: Like you always say, you don't have to do it if you know how to do it.
Ron: But I don't know that you know how to do it.
Laura: I got that question right, so I clearly do.
Ron: Don't take this too far the wrong way, take it a bit the wrong way, because I do mean this in a derogatory way, but I'm not 100% sure that you'll always divide things right.
Laura: F*** you, Ron.
Ron: And I don't think that's unfair.
Laura: I do.
Ron: So, Laura, we've dissolved some red ink in a solvent.
Ron: The red ink has moved 13.
Ron: Solvent has moved 44 mm.
Ron: Can you please give me the RF value to two significant figures?
Laura: What did you say?
Laura: Were they both in millimeters?
Ron: Those both in millimeters?
Ron: Yes.
Laura: Okay, I don't have to do it in my head.
Laura: Do I get a calculator?
Ron: I'd be so impressed if you could do this in your head.
Ron: It's comments like that that make me think that you're not always going to divide things right.
Laura: 00:30.
Ron: Well done Lauren, you got the significant figures right as well.
Laura: I know how to round up, mate.
Ron: Yeah.
Ron: Okay, we'll do one more.
Ron: We're doing another chromatography experiment.
Ron: A pigment has moved 3.4, solvent has moved 1.3 cm further than that.
Ron: What is the rf value?
Laura: That would be zero.
Laura: 72, would it?
Ron: Do you want another bite of the cherry?
Laura: What did you say?
Laura: Read it all to me again.
Ron: Pigments move 3.4.
Ron: The solvents move 1.3 further than that.
Laura: Pigments move 43.4.
Laura: So the solvents move 4.7.
Laura: So 34 divided by 47.
Ron: Yes, I see.
Ron: What's happened is I've read the question out wrong.
Ron: The pigment has moved 1.4 cm further than that.
Ron: Not 1.3.
Laura: Okay, so 34 divided by 48.
Ron: Sorry.
Laura: That's all right, Ron.
Laura: Look at us.
Laura: We accept each other's mistakes.
Ron: We do.
Laura: Zero.
Laura: 71.
Ron: Correct.
Ron: Another three marks for ye.
Ron: And thus ends a dull bone extra.
Laura: One for getting both of those right, even in the face of adversity.
Ron: Yeah, you can have another three marks for that.
Ron: And you can have a gold star for being pleasant.
Laura: Thank you.
Laura: Gonna wear my patronizing gold star on my head?
Laura: Ooh.
Laura: Oh it does say actually Ron, I know they've listened to it now, but it says probs apologize for Ron's sound in the quiz.
Ron: Yeah, it seems like my sound was coming through headphones rather than microphone for the quiz, Ron.
Laura: Yeah, that's my fault.
Ron: What's Tom saying about these months?
Ron: I don't understand.
Laura: You know we were chatting about and you said it annoyed you that the Romans hadn't renamed the month.
Laura: I told Tom about this and he was also cross and I thought you'd want to know.
Ron: I think because we talked about that in the first 6 minutes, which I edited before Christmas.
Laura: Yeah, well I listened to it today and I remembered bringing that with Tom and he was like, well I'm furious.
Laura: I've never thought of that before.
Laura: And now I'm cross.
Ron: Yeah, it really ruins the last part of the year for me.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: Oh, what's happened again, Laura?
Laura: What's happened?
Ron: Every year I get fooled by Christmas thinking that that's kind of like the end of winter.
Laura: I couldn't agree more Ron.
Laura: How about as a family we shift our Christmas back to the 25 January?
Ron: I'd say go further.
Ron: I say instead of Valentine's Day we do Christmas.
Laura: But I think end of Jan.
Laura: Right?
Laura: End of Jan.
Laura: Because then you get an extra month, more pretty lights and it's right in the deepest, darkest bullshit, all this crap.
Laura: This is the worst bit.
Laura: Like by the time Christmas rolls around and you're putting up the advent stuff at the beginning of December you've only really had like a month really of resembling winter.
Laura: And then you're coming out of Christmas, you've really only got February, march.
Laura: And then you're in April.
Laura: Lovely sunny occasional t shirt day.
Laura: April.
Ron: Yeah, but I don't want two months of it after Christmas, either.
Ron: That's too much, I think.
Laura: Do you want all of winter before Christmas?
Laura: I want it bang in the halfway.
Ron: I think I want it two thirds of the way through.
Laura: Okay, all right, well, maybe you do it mid Feb, then.
Ron: I want it to be the harbinger of the end, not the harbinger of the middle.
Laura: This is, like the harbinger of the one quarter, though.
Ron: Yeah, I'm agreeing with you.
Ron: I said I wanted it in Feb.
Ron: Yeah, hard agree.
Laura: Ron.
Laura: I wanted to say thanks to some lovely people that have sent messages.
Laura: Sweary mess sent a message.
Laura: They are listening to the podcast with their 15 year old, who is studying for their gcses.
Laura: And I don't know why, but it just made me so happy that someone's listening to this with their kid.
Ron: It's because you're a mum now.
Ron: You're all soft.
Laura: Yeah, maybe, but, like, you know the way older sister of the podcast has tv shows she watches with the nephews, and I just like, oh, we're like, should we listen to a bit of that, Ray?
Laura: I love it.
Ron: I like that.
Laura: And Laura on Instagram, who has finally caught up and sent me, like, bullet points of all her thoughts over the last little while.
Laura: Really?
Laura: Laura has binged a lot.
Laura: Like, the first note is about the tricko, I think, and then comes right up to quite a long.
Laura: I got irrationally angry about your advent calendar spending and basically said, I'm really glad I didn't join the Patreon after you said.
Laura: I was like, yeah, that's fair enough, mate.
Laura: You crack on the Patreon.
Laura: We don't ask for it because we need it for charity.
Laura: We ask for it because we believe we should be paid for our work.
Laura: If you like it.
Laura: But, hey, I completely understand if you are not a patron, but you're just missing out on fun, so there we go.
Laura: I really enjoyed today's episode, Ron.
Laura: I had that level of chaos that I really enjoy.
Ron: We're both impetuous in this one.
Ron: It was a good one.
Laura: Yeah, it was real good.
Laura: All right, have a lovely week, everyone.
Laura: Oh, the register.
Laura: We haven't done the register in ages.
Ron: A big patreon.
Ron: Thank you to Emma Haggerty, inventor of the false guillotine, a Trixie device that serves only to fool those that try and use it and give them a little stab in the finger.
Ron: Emma hates french liberty and wants to see a return to the bourgeoisie days of empirical opulency headed by a dirty monarchy.
Laura: Empirical, not imperial.
Ron: Shut up.
Laura: Okay, no, that's fine.
Laura: Thank you, Emma Hegerty.
Laura: Thank you.
Laura: Also, Philippa Whiting.
Laura: Philippa is Paul McCartney's therapist, comforting him week after week as the nicest man in popular music tries to work out why a comedian he's never met hates him.
Laura: He's looked her up online and seen that she's not particularly into music.
Laura: He's seen that, if anything, she has a certain fondness for the oldies, as well as a love for musicals, which have similar capness and merriness to a lot of the McCartney penned Beatles tracks and definitely a lot of the wings catalogue.
Laura: But no, she hates him.
Laura: He eats a vegan sausage and weeps.
Ron: And finally, maybe thank you to Matthew Campbell.
Ron: You're down on Patreon is free.
Ron: What's that about, mate?
Ron: Why are you there?
Ron: We love you, and that's cool.
Ron: And we do want you around, but.
Ron: What's that?
Ron: Huh?
Ron: Thanks.
Ron: Oh, God.
Ron: Laptop's locked itself.
Ron: Hold fire.
Laura: It says, who are you?
Laura: Why are you here?
Laura: Are you even a listener?
Laura: What's going on?
Laura: Do you get updates?
Laura: Are you flirting with the idea of signing up?
Laura: What's happening?
Laura: I don't understand the free.
Ron: No, we have 110 patrons.
Ron: 105 paid patrons.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: I want to know what's going on with those five other ones.
Laura: Yeah, no idea, man.
Laura: Do they just get a notification that an episode has gone out that they can't get access to?
Ron: I have no idea, but, yeah, let us know, man.
Ron: Yeah, but you still get a shout out because we love you.
Laura: Yeah.
Laura: We love all of you listeners.
Laura: We love the free patrons, we love the paid patrons, we love the non patron listeners.
Laura: We just like that somebody listens to us.
Laura: Yeah.
Ron: With the chumbawumba of love.
Laura: Chumbawumba of love.
Ron: Class dismissed.
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