Ugly Buck Teeth

 Ugly Buck Teeth

Laura: Hello, and welcome to a twin noses episode of Lex Education where I've just noticed what exactly? Twin noses. Ron and Laura. Uh, Ron, we've got twin noses.

Ron: Yes, we're related.

Laura: I know, but I'm at a very, I'm at a slightly different angle in my camera today, and, um, I just have suddenly noticed how similar our noses. Ah. Are.

Ron: We have the same face. We say this all the time.

Laura: Yeah, but, uh, hey, twin noses.

Ron: What if I went like this? Yeah, and then I have kind of the undercut as well at the moment.

Laura: I think you have bigger eyes than me, though.

Ron: Yes. You have small piggy eyes.

Laura: I do m if I had a beard. Ah, samesies. Um, you're looking very tan. Did you do a lot of outside drinking this weekend? Ronk.

Ron: I did. I did. It was lovely weather.

Laura: Um, it was a beautiful weekend. We went and played in the fountains.

Ron: What fountains?

Laura: Like, just a, like, water park fountain bit in the middle of Brighton.

Ron: Okay. It's like, you're supposed to do that.

Laura: Yeah. Not just like a display fountain.

Ron: Was it just like. No, no, no, no, no.

Laura: Yeah. I dressed as Phoebe. Child of the podcast was Ross and Chandler, and Tom did all the other characters. Mackie was the sofa.

Ron: Really? Imagine that. Uh, Tom with the Rachel.

Laura: Oh, yeah. Oh, he, I mean, he's got a stunning bone structure. He could carry that off.

Ron: Yeah. Such a big head. It'd be a lot of hair.

Laura: Yeah. Tom's hair is so unmanageable. There's nothing you can do with Tom's hair other than what he does.

Ron: Uh, you could lose a badger in it.

Laura: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure we have. I'm sure we've got several other children just all wandering the labyrinthine passages of the father's head.

Ron says he's been muted on the computer

Um, how was the stag do then, Ron? All been on the edge of our seats waiting to hear.

Ron: Yeah, it was really, really good.

Laura: Um, um, yeah, wait, I've been muted. How have you been hearing me?

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: M am I not coming in through my microphone? I'm not coming in through my microphone. This is a problem.

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: You know, it's there. Computer.

Ron says he and his stag mates saw the northern lights on Friday

Okay, Ron, I'm ready for you to tell me about the stag do. And I should sound 1 million times better now.

Ron: Oh, you do sound way better.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, yeah, it was, it was really, really good. Um, we. Yeah, we had a nice cottage up in the Peak district.

Laura: Oh, fancy.

Ron: Yeah. Um, we saw the northern lights on the Friday.

Laura: That's pretty cool. I couldn't see it down here. I don't think it stretched to Brighton.

Ron: Well, I'll be honest, it's been on my bucket list for a long time. And I'm really sad that that's how it was ticked off because we, we didn't know that it was going to happen. So two people just went outside to look at the stars and then we're like, oh, guys, it's really cool out here. You should come and have a look. So I did, and to me it just looked like light pollution. It was just a brown streak across the sky. And I said, I can only see about four stars. This is rubbish. And I went back inside. Another member of the stag, famously, and we've mocked him for this the rest of the weekend, said, fuck the sky. I'm going to stay inside and didn't go and see the northern lights.

Laura: Fuck the sky. I like this guy. I like this stag member.

Ron: Yeah, that was very funny.

Laura: Apparently it was better if you looked at it through your phone screen.

Ron: Maybe I didn't do that. But we honestly didn't know that it had happened. And then hours later, people looked at their phones and saw the headlines and stuff and we were like, holy shit, that was the, that was the northern lights.

Laura: Yeah. I'll be honest, when I went to Lapland and saw the northern lights, it was not a good time for it. We didn't get any good ones. And it just looked a bit like light pollution. We didn't see any of the, like, fluctuating fun bits. We just saw like, oh, yeah, it does look vaguely green over there.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: You can't make yourself be interested in something that doesn't capture your heart.

Ron: No, absolutely not. Um, but, yeah, it was good. And then we did a pub crawl the next day. Um, and then on the Sunday, we played golf and had a barbecue and board games. And then we all came home on the Monday.

Laura: Lovely. Ron.

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: M did you tell stories?

Ron: We told some stories, yeah. There was a certain amount of debauchery. Lots, uh, and lots of boozing. It was good.

Laura: Did you throw up out of your nose?

Ron: I didn't throw up. Other people threw up.

Laura: Ah. Uh, well done, Ron. Well done for being a grown up.

Ron: No, no, I'm just a, uh, top, top tier legend.

Laura: Yeah.

Ronald says he's having a bad day because his sister is travelling

Did you feel a certain amount of pressure for being the host?

Ron: Yes. Yeah, I enjoyed portions of it.

Laura: Um, sorry, younger sister of the podcast is on a long train journey today and so is sending me updates on her crocheting and tea. We're such cool dudes, such low energy. Ron.

Ron: Yeah, I'm in a horrible mood. I'm having a really bad day.

Laura: Oh, no. It's such a shame that we have to record today.

Ron: Yeah, we really, really do. We haven't edited this episode, so I get it. We don't know what this is about. No, me neither.

Laura: They're just slacking.

Ron: I've been away and I'm going away, and it's all just a bit much at the moment.

Laura: Oh. Ronnie honks. Do you need a cuddle?

Ron: I guess, but there's no one around.

Laura: Um, I mean, I don't want to suggest that you come and see us while you're over in London anyway, because that went down like a sack of cold squid. Sick. Last I suggested that, you got mad at me.

Ron: I'm going to a work conference. What do you want me to do.

Laura: Pop down in the evening, you loon? No, exactly. That's why I said I wouldn't suggest.

Ron: Wouldn't you come up to London and see me? Come up to London and see me.

Laura: I have a child. I can't take her to London in the evening.

Ron: I have a job. I can't just do whatever I want. I can't. I'm not frolicking in fountains like you. Unwashed masks.

Laura: Sorry. I spent my Sunday at the park. Is that what you're mad about?

Ron: No, but I can't just drop like, I'm gonna finish what I'm doing.

Laura: I can't believe how mean you're being when you're saying you're sad and stressed, and I say, hey, you're literally gonna be 30 miles away. You could pop down if you like, if you need a chill out. And now you're like, why are you demanding stuff of me? Fuck off. Go and do your other sister. Go and do that, Ron. Go and read your stupid book and talk to our sister about it.

Ron: Look. Cause what I said is that I'm, um, too busy and I'm stressed. I don't have time to do all the things I want to do, and then you're trying to guilt me for not cramming in trip to see you. Why didn't you spend 3 hours on trains, Ron? Come and see me when you have precious little time anyway, and you need to get this editing done.

Laura: Uh uh, sorry. Where's better for editing the podcast than trains, you stupid whore?

Ron: Oh, as if anyone's ever gotten one thing accomplished on the thameslink. Laura, use your head.

Laura: I edit this podcast on the thameslink all the time, and it goes to.

Ron: Show, because all of this fucking background noise and stuff gets into it, and it's just nonsense. Sound effects all the time recording while.

Laura: I'm on the train, you flaming lemon. I put the sound effects in because they're fun and they cover the pauses where you're just despondently staring into the sky and then go, right, uh, uh, 6.49 point. Kill myself.

Ron: Edit the pauses out, then you don't have to.

Laura: Many of them. If I edit them out, we have a four minute podcast.

Ron: It's literally like the bit and always sunny when Dee and Dennis start a podcast and they're just doing laser noises in between things. Two wars. At the moment, you're saying we're in two wars?

Laura: Yeah, Ron, people love the sound effects.

Ron: No, um, you're Dean who loves sound effects.

Laura: Oh, my God.

Not being able to pronounce Sherlock Holmes is funny

What was I watching the other day? Um, I've been watching. Right, okay, two things. Run. You know the dropout with Elizabeth Holmes, by the way, she pronounces it Holmes in the episodes as well. Thank you very much. Yes, she does. But also, I was watching it and I was like, there's William H. Macy's in it, and he plays a grumpy, rich neighbour, and then his wife is sort of twittery and blah, blah, blah, rum tum tugger. And I was, like, watching it and going like, she's so familiar, it's gay. Or the snail.

Ron: Ah. Uh, I love it when she pops up and stuff. She looks so different.

Laura: She's just doing a normal acting job and playing, like, a fancy New Hampshire woman. And I was just like, who the fuck is that?

Ron: She's mashing it.

Laura: She's scale the bloody snail, mate.

Ron: I, uh, genuinely don't believe that any. That Elizabeth Holmes pronounces it Holmes. Because there's no. No. And, um, I'll hold my hand up to this as well. No one else apart from our family, just shoehorns w's into so many words, like familiar.

Laura: Yeah, we do have a problem with els.

Ron: Els. Yeah.

Laura: I've realised a really hard one that I have to really think about is pale ale.

Ron: Pale ale.

Laura: Pale ale. Pale ale. Yeah, I'm sure I was watching an episode and Amanda Seyfried pronounces it Holmes.

Ron: Holmes.

Laura: Holmes. I said this to Tom the other day and he went, yeah, yeah. It was just one. I just didn't have the energy to bring off. Uh, anyway, um, so, look, very funny.

Ron: Not being able to pronounce Sherlock Holmes.

Laura: I can pronounce it Holmes. Take the l out if you don't want it to be a w class clown. Four is out this week, so if you're a patron, we're getting further into Doctor Robert Provine's exploration of laughter. If you are not a patron, why not, mate? It's been 100 episodes. What are you waiting for? Sign, uh, up patreon.com. Forward slash lexeducation.

This week's episode is a Ron edit on the Great Western Railway

And now we're going to jump m into the deep unknown. Sorry about the lack of sound effects, but it's a Ron edit this week. He's going to do it on, I don't know, not the train into or out of London. I guess he'll do it at Great Western Railway.

Ron: You can edit podcast on.

Laura: Oh, sorry, I didn't realise that one has podcasting capabilities where another train doesn't. Um, enjoy the episode.

Ron: Thamesley m just doesn't always have tables.

Laura: No, it doesn't have tables. But your laptop can go on your lap. It can go on the top of your lap.

Ron: Woohoo.

Laura: It's ironic that episode 100, uh, one is chemistry because it's physics that I would put into room 101.

Ron: Yeah, it's also physics that you need, like a, uh, physics 101 style course.

Laura: What? I'm all right at physics. I think physics is the one I'm doing the best on. On the quiz.

Ron: Yeah, but that's, you know, is that because I. Is that because you're good or is that because I phone in the quizzes? Because I don't care either.

Laura: Why don't you care, Ron?

Ron: I think it's generational.

Laura: Hmm. Um, maybe I have to go to the dentist this afternoon.

Ron: How come? Because of your ugly buck teeth?

Laura: No, just a normal dentist. People m have to go to the dentist. What the fuck's happening with you?

Ron: When's the appointment for your ugly bug teeth? Uh, no, that's why it's an okay, funny joke to me.

Laura: You are giddy.

Ron: I am giddy. I'm very happy. Um, um.

Laura: Why are you so happy, Ron?

Ron: Comment. And we're not gonna talk about that. I don't want to.

Laura: I do.

Ron: Right. I'll cut this.

Laura: Whoever I told everyone, cut this.

Ron: Whoever's editing. It was literally in the episode that came out last week that we finally said me and Judith broke.

Laura: Uh, yeah, well, the lurker asked me about you and Judith.

Ron: Oh, really?

Laura: And he was like, so what happened with Ron and Judith? And I was like, well, they broke.

Ron: Up for a year and then.

Laura: Well, right now. Uh. Uh, yeah. So I just told them you'd broken up.

Ron: Yeah. Fair.

Laura: I think. Let's just never. Let's just. We'll just ease her back in again, soft launch. And just pretend like nothing happened.

Ron: Probably not, but that doesn't matter right now.

Laura: What? We're just never going to mention her again?

Ron: That was the plan when we were broken up.

Laura: You might want to talk about your plans.

Ron: M. Yeah, I guess, if there's a plan that needs mentioning.

Ron says he finds it hard to floss regularly because his teeth are close

Okay.

Laura: Um, Ron, I'm really hungry.

Ron: Yes, because you've got to go to the dentist, so you can't eat beforehand, because then there'll be embarrassing food in your teeth.

Laura: I don't really subscribe. I'll brush my teeth before I go, but I'm definitely gonna have lunch before I go. Oh, I, um, don't really care if they know I use my teeth.

Ron: Yeah, but what if they see it and they think that it's really old beans?

Laura: They won't. They'll know. They know, don't they? Like, you can't trick them by just flossing the day off. They're like, you don't floss regularly, do you? Yeah, no, it's boring. Here's what I think I'm gonna do, though. I'm gonna floss my, like, top teeth one day and, uh, my bottom teeth the next day so that I can stop getting bored halfway through.

Ron: Smart, I guess, probably.

Laura: I don't like flossing. It makes my teeth wobble.

Ron: My teeth are really close together, and I get the floss stuck.

Laura: Yeah, me too, sometimes. And then once all the stuff that's, like, holding my teeth firm comes out, then they're all just loosed.

Ron: Uh, I went to stay with my friend Eve in Switzerland, um, and then when we were talking about flossing, um, because Eve has, like, uh, gaps, they're really easy to floss in between her teeth. And I said, my teeth, um, are really close together, so, um, I find it really hard to floss. And then she was like, oh, can I see? So then I just opened my mouth, and then she was just looking in my mouth for ages. And then her boyfriend walked in and he was just like, you guys are fucking weird.

Laura: You two are weird. To be fair, you've always been quite weird, but I suppose now you're still weird, but you're grown up.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: So pretty weird.

Ron: Yeah. Switzerland was the best, man. I loved it there.

Laura: Don't move to Switzerland.

Ron: I'm not. It's too rural. You know, we've already had this chat on the podcast.

Laura: Yeah, they have cities. Yeah.

Ron: There was, um, I'll tell you a little anecdote. So we, uh, we wanted to get, um, the boat across Lake Geneva one morning from a place called Cooey. Um, but then for some reason, even though it said that it was on the website, uh, the boat doesn't go from Cooey in the morning anymore. So then we'd already walked there and we really hung over and we'd had our farmer style double xl sandwiches that they always get from the shop there. And then we're like, what are we going to do? And then Eve and I remember that the day before, we'd walked through a village called ipes and then there was, like, what we thought was, like, a tractor fair on there. And like I say, they live pretty rural, so if there's something to do, you jump at it. Um, because it was called, like, trakker sets, which we assumed without checking was just like the french word for tractors. So then we're, like, deciding if we want to go there or not. We decide that we eventually do. And then just as we're doing that, this, like, weird little, like, wacky racers car drives past with two people dressed as sailors and, like, it's all sort of dressed up and we're like, oh, my God, are we going to the wacky races? And then we went to this village called a pes, and it fucking was. And it turns out, like, tracker sets are like these sort of like a motorbike with a trailer on the back. Um, and then, yeah, they were all, like, themed. Some of them were really racist. Um, and then they had to, like, go around the, the, um, go around the village and, like, do, like, different tasks and stuff. And then we were, we were, um, stood right by this bit where they had to go there. And then there's this. In Switzerland, there's like, drinking water everywhere and it just comes out of taps that are always on. Um, so there was, like, one of those. And then they had to, um, had to pick three rocks out of the tub. I don't know why, it didn't seem hard. Um, and they could just do it with their arms, but they had to do that. Pick three rocks out of the tub and then they had to fill up kind of a washing up bowl with water. And then they had to. And then I think part of the measuring criteria was how much water they got to the end. Um, but, uh, yeah, it was, it was really dramatic because, like, a lot of people just use this to, um, advertise their wine caves. Um, wine caves is just another word for wine shop. They're not in caves. I was disappointed. Um, so, like, there was one. There was one thing that was like, there was, um, Batman themed. And like, there was the Batmobile and there was Batman and the joker. And then they got their washing up tub of full of water and just threw it at the crowd. That was. That was really funny. Ah. Because they were just there advertising their wine cave. So then people remember, oh, Batman with the wine through the water at the people. So that's funny. Um, there was a woman dressed as pikachu in a pokemon themed one who like, um, it was really weird. Cause she was like, getting out. She's gonna pick the rocks out of the basin. And then we didn't.

Laura: She threw the rocks at the crowd.

Ron: No, we didn't see what happened. But suddenly the crowd goes dead silent. She's crying on the floor. Um, and she's fallen over or something somehow.

Laura: In a pikachu.

Ron: In a pikachu costume, yeah. Um, and then they like, they pick her up and she's like streaming tears down her face. And like, her leg is like dangling like this. And we're like, fuck, has she broken her leg? We were boozing, so we were having a great time. Like, hey, fuck you.

Tom: Eve lives in rural Switzerland and loves eggs. Her and her boyfriend buy six eggs every day

Laura: Um, she's doing a lot for british international relations.

Ron: Um, and then, uh, like, the, um, green lads had to run down the path and they were like, don't send anyone else. Pikachu's fucked her knee. Um, and then like a stretcher gets taken. They don't do any announcements. So no one in the village knows what's happened. But we saw that it was pikachu. They had to cut the pikachu costume off of her so they could look at her knee. All really dramatic. But then she just walked off. She was fine. She just like, got back on the pikachu mobile and drove off.

Laura: Really good advertising for her pikachu cave. Yeah, we'll be drinking pikachu wine till.

Ron: The day we die yeah, yeah. There were other ones. Like, a lot of them were, like, wine themed, which I just thought was a bit root one.

Laura: Um, root wine.

Ron: Root wine. There was one that was themed around a, uh, swiss dish that's like a cabbage sausage that served with leeks. That ₩1. Actually, uh, there was.

Laura: So how did you win the most water?

Ron: We actually have no idea. That's all we could infer from the bit that we saw.

Laura: Right.

Ron: Uh, there was one where they were dressed, um, as sort of Arabs in a cargo ship. That one was a bit dicey. Not the diciest one we saw. There was one where, uh, they were dressed as the a team and I can assure you that they were all white. Um, yeah, it was bad Switzerland. Yeah, real bad.

Laura: Rural. Well, I'm glad that Eve's happy living in rural Switzerland.

Ron: Yeah, I think she is.

Laura: That's good. Does she still have a bowl of eggs by the front door?

Ron: They eat so many fucking eggs. I kid you not, because you can buy them pre cooked at the shop. Like just six boiled eggs in a box. Um, and I think her, maybe we.

Laura: Should do the agathon there next year.

Ron: Oh, we could get even a special guest for the egg a thon.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: But she just. She would be like, why are you even making a fuss about all these eggs? Yeah, this is a normal level of eggs to have.

Ron: Her and her boyfriend, I think, bought one packet of eggs, at least every other day, if not every day that.

Laura: I was there, and just eat them cold boiled.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: It's not right, Jim.

Ron: No, uh, it's a big part of what they do, though.

Laura: Just. I don't think I would want a relationship based on eggs.

Ron: I don't think necessarily sort of that's what they've based it on, but it's definitely, as I say, yeah, just a big part of it. They fucking love it.

Laura: Yeah, all right. I mean, I guess it's something, innit?

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: Um, Tom's most common related food is probably pizza. That's much better than a boiled egg.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Maybe paella. I do love paella. I'm not nice since you ruined it with science.

Ron: How did I ruin paella with science?

Laura: Oh, you made it all about vectors and scalars.

Ron: Oh, uh, I see, I see what you're saying.

Laura: It's raining again.

Ron: The sun's out, but it is cloudy here. Right, let's do some science, shall we?

Laura: Oh, all right.

Ron: Not keen.

Laura: Um, I'm too hungry.

Ron: Oh, well, don't worry, it's gonna be pretty lackadaisical. Um, because.

We're on 5.10, using resources. So we're barreling towards the end of a second subject

Right, so we're onto a new section here, Laura, the, uh, last section of chemistry, actually. So we're barreling towards the end of a second subject now. We're on 5.10, using resources. And actually, when I first saw that, I thought it meant using the resources in this booklet, so I almost messaged you and said, hey, fucker, we're done. But we're not. Um, because it's actually just a different thing. Um, it's like. So it's like 5.101.1, using the earth's resources and sustainable development content. Quote, humans use the earth's resources to provide warmth, shelter, food and transport. Full stop.

Laura: This syllabus just veers wildly from. Sorry, are you the king of mensa? To please, can you finish that mouthful of dirt? And then try and understand this sentence. How are we supposed to understand all that relative force? And this. This can't be the same level.

Ron: Yeah. And then, like the night, the next bit is natural resources supplemented by agriculture. Provide food, timber, clothing and fuels. So, yeah, of course they do dip shit. Like, how is this content? So I. And then I, like, I got up the BBC bite size because, um, it's pretty good for, you know, adding that extra level. Just the same thing. It's like, oh, we get stuff from the land, maybe we shouldn't take too much for too many people. So then what I did was I, um. I got a bay. A paper on it, just to see what they could possibly be fucking asking for this.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. Um. And it's like, um, you know, I went in there and then there's, um, a sort of a graph and in a white column it's got how much oil the world's using. It's kind of decreasing over time. Uh, percentage of energy generated and then solar is increasing. And then it says, describe the changes in the percentage of electricity generated in the UK between zero seven and 2017 using oil and solar for three marks.

Laura: I can do that, yeah.

Ron: I presume you just say, well, oils decreasing and solar is increasing.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. So, um.

Laura: All right, I'll see you next week.

Ron: So what we'll do is. Yeah, we'll kind of go through it a bit, but let's just be. It's all pretty chill, you know what I'm saying?

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

So the resources on the earth are infinite or finite, Ron

Ron: All right, so, all right, is the earth, uh, infinitely big?

Laura: No.

Ron: No, it's not. So the resources on the earth, do you think that they would be infinite or finite?

Laura: Um, finite, Ron.

Ron: That's right.

Laura: Depending on the resource.

Ron: And, um. Um, where can we get resources from?

Laura: Ground.

Ron: Yep. The earth. Nice. Where else?

Laura: The sea.

Ron: The oceans. Yep. And where else? Yeah, the atmosphere. Bang on, Laura. So it says here, finite resources from the earth, oceans and atmosphere are processed to provide energy and materials.

Laura: Yep.

Ron: Got that log? Uh, that away. I don't hear you making notes.

Laura: I've lost the notepad.

Ron: What?

Laura: It must be round in the house somewhere, but I can't find it, to be honest. Upstairs is so disgusting that it. It's probably in a big pile of mould somewhere, but I don't know where it is.

Ron: Why don't you get some airflow into your shack?

Laura: Because it's raining. It never stops raining. This year, Ron, um, it's, it's a.

Ron: Little grub pocket on the top of your house.

Laura: Well, the thing is, Ron, we're getting a cleaner soon.

Ron: Hey. And then she's gonna lock her in there until she. Until they, uh.

Laura: But she can help me with the rest of the house, and then I'll have time to come up here and sort it out and make it back to my pristine place because I'm gonna start writing another book. So I need this place to be a little mind palace.

Ron: Nice. Um, wow. The thing that I found really interesting about your mouldy hovel is I've never seen somewhere with white mould before. Like, it's all covered in white mould, not black mould.

Laura: Well, it's fancier, isn't it?

Ron: Right. Yeah, it's bright. M so, Laura. Laura.

Laura: Yes, Ron.

Ron: Chemistry, uh, plays an important role in improving agriculture and industrial processes.

Laura: Yeah, if you don't have that sexy frisson with a jungle. Are, ah, you going to cut it down to make tables?

Ron: Exactly. No, you would not.

Laura: So do you hear my tummy rumble, then?

Ron: I didn't actually. Um.

Laura: Sounds like thunder.

Ron: What are you gonna have for lunch?

Laura: M homemade hummus.

Ron: Oh, you made some hummus? Did you use my recipe?

Laura: I think pretty much what you'd said. And I couldn't be bothered to listen back to the episode, but I found one that was similar, and basically the difference was boiling the chickpeas.

Ron: Yeah, it's good, right?

Laura: Taking the shells off? Yeah, but taking the shells off was.

Ron: A. Oh, I didn't bother doing that.

Laura: I thought that was what made it smooth.

Ron: No, water makes it smooth.

Laura: No, uh, I think it's taking the shells off. M.

Ron: Um, anyway. Okay, so that's what.

Laura: Because I guess that burp was that rumble that I just heard. It was that moving, maybe, uh, the.

Ron: Ghost of the rumble?

Laura: I reckon the rumble was that air moving through.

Ron: Yeah, man. It's kind of like burping is like that bit in Shawshank when he pops out the poo pipe and, uh, sort of screams at the earth. Yeah, yeah.

Laura Adler says 90% of people now have microplastics in them

So, Laura, because we have finite resources in those three places that you very cleverly, very, very cleverly came up with.

Laura: The only places that really exist.

Ron: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, should we just, like, cane through them or should we sort of what? Or should we do something else?

Laura: Um. Um, I think caning through them's really been working.

Ron: No, we shouldn't cane through them.

Laura: No, I think it's been really good because, like, progress and the stock exchange is all in a good way. And animals can't talk, so it doesn't really matter if they're fucked. Ooh, who swims in the sea anyway?

Ron: Yeah, I don't really care about ocean plastic.

Laura: Here's the thing, which is quite surprising to me, uh, because normally environmental stuff really terrifies me. And the other day I heard someone talking on the radio about how, like, 90% of people now have microplastics in them.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And it just made my brain go, oh, that's good, because, um, we're all still alive, so clearly we can go with microplastics in us.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: One last thing to worry about. And I don't think that was the expect it was meant m to have. I think I was meant to go, oh, no, we're all full of microplastics. But I just kind of ticked that off as, like, cool. Clearly we can survive with plastic in our bumps. Done.

Ron: Yeah, yeah, no, I just, um. I can't. I feel saturated with things I give a shit about.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Um, my friend of mine, I might have already mentioned this, a friend of mine works at the National Trust and they've stopped serving mushrooms and all of their cafes and their food and stuff because it uses up Pete. Um, and I was literally. I was told this and I was literally like, I'm sorry, I just can't give a shit about one more thing. I really can't. And especially coming from an organisation that's still serving fucking beef. So.

Laura: Yeah. Like, yeah. Why would on earth would you cut mushrooms before you cut beans?

Ron: Yeah. Bizarre.

Laura: Yeah, I think I agree. Like, there's limits. Like, I could go vegan, but I will still be eating avocados and honey. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, you draw your line wherever you draw your line.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Mine's got mushrooms and avocado and honey on it.

Ron: What's the problem with avocado?

Laura: I think they have to use animals to artificially inseminate them or something.

Ron: Says they're vegan on this website.

Laura: Hmm, maybe that's wrong. Uh. In an episode of QI, host Sandy Toxvig asked what could be eaten by strict vegans out of a list of avocados, almonds, melons, kiwis and Watternut squash. Adler? Uh, because they're so difficult to cultivate naturally, all of these crops rely on bees, which are placed on the back of trucks and taken long distance across the country. It's migratory beekeeping and an unnatural use of animals. And there are a lot of foods that fall foul of this. Yes.

Ron: Right.

Laura: But, uh, while shocks workers, right. And these foods are often made as a result of migratory beekeeping, doesn't mean that they necessarily must be avoided. Yeah. So veganism is all forms of exploitation of uncrulty to animals. So. Yeah. Is it? Um. Um.

Ron: Well, that's interesting, but, yeah, like you say, I can't give a shit about that.

Laura: No. Yeah, I think, yeah. You have to go with what feels right for you.

Ron: Yeah. Um, so that's, uh. So don't cane through resources, Laura. Sustainably develop.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: All right.

Laura: Okay. Let me just call the boss of my logging factory.

Laura: If we make water potable, we can drink it

Ron: So now we're gonna move on to 5.10.1 .2 potable water. Oh, and what does potable mean, Laura?

Laura: Drinkable.

Ron: Absolutely. And, like, why do we drink water?

Laura: Um, we have to, otherwise our brothers get mad at us.

Ron: It's good for you. Yeah. Um, what sort of stuff could be in water that would make it, let's say, unpotable poo. Yep. And we'll class that as microbes.

Laura: Um. Bleach.

Ron: Yep. Different chemicals. Yep. And.

Laura: Plastic?

Ron: No, as we've said, plastic's fine. If anything, it's good for us. Like, look at the. Look at the worst state of civilization at the moment.

Laura: Um, I think it's just boo and bleach. Really.

Ron: Can you drink the sea?

Laura: Oh, salt.

Ron: Salt, yes, exactly. So all of those things would make it not potable. So then if we make it potable, we can drink it.

Laura: Yep.

Ron: Yeah. Uh, do you know any different ways that we can get potable water?

Laura: Um, philtre things get it from real deep, like a spring. You can get desalinization plants, which is something that they're trying to do in California and Texas and drought places like that. But I think it takes a lot of energy to desalinate the sea. So it's not really, like, feasible at the moment. But they're working on the technology.

Ron: Absolutely. And what else?

Laura: There's one more that you collect rainwater.

Ron: So the two that you've got there is, um, filtering. You can pass the water, like in.

Laura: Water world, where they put their piss through philtres.

Ron: Yeah. You pass it through what's called a philtre bed.

Laura: Um, I love waterworld.

Ron: Or you can just choose somewhere that's got fresh water.

Laura: So, like you say, condense it and then collect the condensation and drink that.

Ron: I think that's how they desalinate things. Um, a lot of time. But let's say there was some poo in the water, as there often is in the UK.

Laura: Get a little net and scoop it out.

Ron: Yep. Fish for turds. But then once you've fished all the turds out, there still be poo bugs in there, weren't there?

Laura: And a bit of that, like poo ory, you know when sometimes poo just leeches out brown water around it and it gets a little brown shadow.

Ron: Yes, I do know about that.

Laura: When you go to a public toilet and there's like a log there and then it's just got like ooh, little poo aura around it.

Ron: Ooo.

Laura: Nope. I do know those little lurkers that like lie there and the mop like, ay, if your poo's too heavy, I'm gonna splash on your bum.

Ron: Um.

Laura: Those guys.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Sometimes those guys flush away and then come crawling back up.

Ron says he has low job satisfaction because of changes in his job

Ron: Is this what your new book's gonna be about? No, what's the new book about?

Laura: That's a sequel to pivot.

Ron: Ah. Um. Do I have to read the first one to know?

Laura: You f. Don't. I don't want you to read it. I hate you. I've only ever supported everything you've ever done.

Ron: You don't even know what my job is.

Laura: I said, do you? Customer success manager.

Ron: No, I'm not having been for about five months.

Laura: You manage customer success managers.

Ron: No, I don't.

Laura: Yes, you do.

Ron: You don't. I have a new job.

Laura: Fuck off then. No you don't. Yes, I do. What's your new job?

Ron: I'm a senior practise enablement manager.

Laura: Oh, well, that's bollocks, isn't it? That's not really a job. You're still doing the same thing you were doing before.

Ron: No, I'm not. My job's changed loads in the last six months. I have a new team that I run.

Laura: Yeah, but same thing.

Ron: No.

Laura: Oh, no one cares, Ron. Not even you care what your job is.

Ron: No, I have low job satisfaction. Yep, you might. I don't know if I should tell this story. Maybe we'll cut this out. But they had to book a meeting with my team because one person in my team had put in really low scores for like this employee satisfaction survey that they did. So they booked this meeting and they were asking my team what's going on. That was me. It was obviously me. And I sat there like, come on, guys, answer the questions.

Laura: Uh, but no one suspected it was you?

Ron: No. Even though I can, I complain about stuff all the time.

Laura: Oh, wrong.

Ron: Yeah, unfortunately.

Laura: You're gonna come a vigilante.

Ron: What? How?

Laura: And fix all the problems by being a vigilante ah.

Ron: Uh. You can't fix problems, man. Problem. They don't want the problems to be fixed. Like, the problem with corporate life is they fundamentally don't want ideas.

Laura: What do they want?

Ron: Well, they don't want ideas to come from below. They want ideas to come from above. And you have to get up, uh, to the top. But then if you, if you think that something's bad and then you tell anyone that, you're just kind of seen as, uh, a problem.

Laura: You're a troublemaker, basically. I'm a disciple trouble maker. Well, when you set up your own company, then it'll all be fine.

Ron: Yeah. Fingers crossed.

Other ways to conserve energy include sterilisation and boiling water

Um, so the other one that was kind of getting out there, Laura, was sterilisation. You can kill all the poo bugs in the water, boil it. Uh, that would be a way. That's not very energy efficient way of doing it.

Laura: No, but as we've said, there's loads of resources, so don't worry about it.

Ron: No, but remember, we're not going to cane through things.

Laura: Oh, I keep forgetting that one.

Ron: Yeah. Um, do you know what they use often? How they, how they sterilise water. Do you know any? That's one way, yeah, absolutely.

Imagine if you had different demarked areas for different thing

Okay, so the second one, the fallopian tubes. Imagine if they're like. If you're watching a firework display, but you were only allowed to sort of make one noise in each different area. So on one side, like, you'd be able to go, ooo. And then in the next bit you'd be able to say, ah, uh, uh. And then in the next bit, maybe you'd say, oh, what would that bit be?

Laura: Please let me know if any of you are screaming the answer into your headphones right now. Or if you're all sitting staring thinking, fuck's happened to Ron? Switzerland broke him.

Ron: So if you had different demarked areas for the different thing, you could say, or maybe, maybe. Okay, let's not. Let's say that we're not actually watching fireworks, we're actually doing old McDonald. And you had different areas for, like, the vow that different people could, um, have. So you'd have like a bit where they say e and then a bit where they say I and then a bit where they say o. What would that bit be called?

Laura: The o section.

Ron: Close.

Laura: The O area. Close compartment.

Ron: Keep going.

Laura: O. Uh uh.

Ron: Think about chemicals zone. It's the ozone.

Laura: It's gravelly. It's gravelly. Wow.

Ron: You didn't get that.

Laura: I did get it. You heard me say it. The ozone.

Ron: Yeah, but you didn't get it, like, quickly.

Laura: So what, they blast ozone, which is o three, by the way.

Ron: Yeah. Ozone kills stuff. Oh, yeah.

Laura: Um.

Ron: All right. And then the last one, um, it's just ultraviolet light. I can't think of anything to lead you there. Didn't like the last thing I did.

Laura: I did. I loved it.

Ron: Um, I wonder if anyone did get that. Tell you what, if you got that, leave a five star review and let us know.

Laura: The people who know science might have known it and so been able to work backwards. So it only counts if you didn't know that the end product we needed was ozone.

Ron: Yeah. Um, yeah. Leave a five star review and tell us in that that you got the ozone bit.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: It's the easiest way to contact us, actually.

Laura: Yes.

Ron: Um, desalination, as you say, that's done by distillation, or processes such as reverse osmosis. These processes require a large amount of energy. You already told me all of that.

Laura: I did, I did.

Ron: Smart stuff by a smart girl. Laura.

What's the difference between potable and pure water

What's the difference between potable and pure water?

Laura: Isn't pure water quite bad for you if you don't know, if you don't normally drink it? Like, potable is like most water we come across, but pure water is, like, fully distilled, right down to, like, probably just h two o, but I think it can make you quite sick if you're not used to drinking it.

Ron: Why would that be?

Laura: I m guess like, water has nitrogen and trace elements of all sorts of little bits in it, sodium and stuff like that, doesn't it? So I guess maybe your body just can't process pure h two o like that.

Ron: So it's not about processing it because the water's the same. But do you remember when we were talking about concentration gradients?

Laura: Yes, nephron.

Ron: Yeah. So a bit like the nephron. Uh, yeah, same. Same phenomenon, uh, that the nephron exploits. But essentially, pure water is so pure that it starts leaching stuff out of your cells into the water. So, like, all of the good minerals and stuff that you've got in your body then go into the water, which is not good for you.

Laura: Yeah, yeah. That makes perfect sense.

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: Yeah, yeah. That came up on something the other day. I feel like influencers or something got sick from drinking pure water because it was like a, uh. You know how rich people just love fancy water?

Ron: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know where was across the lake from where I was staying in Switzerland?

Laura: The hydroactive collaborator machine thing?

Ron: No. Evian. Oh, of water fame.

Laura: Yeah. Evian livy on, um, them babies.

Ron: Yeah, I went to a hot spring where there was hot water that just came out the ground.

Laura: Was it. Was it nice?

Ron: I. Yeah, m I'm not very good at relaxing, so I was done after about 20 minutes. Um, but it was cool. Um, it was.

Laura: I'd like to go to one of those because I've been to the one in bath, but because they've modernised the swimming pool, it's kind of ruins it a little bit because you forget that it's not just a heated pool, you're just a bit like. Yeah, of course, whenever I'm in these surroundings, it's warm water. So I think to go into a pond that was warm.

Ron: No, because. No, these are, uh. That was the same here because it's. Yeah, but the only difference with this.

Laura: Though, is that make it look oldie worldy.

Ron: But we were outside, so it was like 50 degrees. But then you're also up in the mountains, so it's like quite cold. So that was. There was a bit of contrast there, but. No, I totally agree. And also they chlorinated it so much that we all came out, like, looking a bit red. Um, but then what was cool is we were walking back to the car and then it had gotten a bit later. Um, and then we noticed that all of the fountains in the town were steaming because they'd rooted the hot water through just like, everything in the town. So the fountains were like 50 degrees as well.

Laura: Huh. Huh.

Ron: Yeah, it was weird.

Laura: Why would you want to drink hot water?

Ron: No, not drinking fountains. Yeah. Just like decorative fountains.

Laura: Right.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Ah. Like little spa birds.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: And drink in it.

Ron: Um. Um, yeah. But we had a nice time at the. At the spa. I was quite relaxed afterwards.

Laura: Hmm.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Well done.

Ron: How long will be memory record?

Laura: 34 minutes.

Ron: Oof. Not quite long enough. Eh?

Laura: That's pretty good.

Ron: Yeah, let's pack it in because otherwise we won't really have enough for another.

Laura: Chemistry lesson, and then that'll be the last chemistry.

Ron: Last chemist. Wa. Yeah.

Laura: Well, I think this has been a very nice ease back into work.

Ron: Yeah. Yeah. Um, so, yeah. See you for the quiz, everyone.

Laura: WHOOP. I'm gonna smash this quiz.

Ron's family are all poorly today as well

Okay, we're recording Ron. Ron's not very well. Ron's poorly. My family are all poorly today as well. Yeah, I'm fine. I have an immune system like an ox. That is vaccinated.

Ron: I feel kind of okay.

Laura: Vaccinated. That's a vaccinated oxygen. Oh, can you hear that aeroplane?

Ron: I can. Hmm. M that's nice.

Laura: I've got the window open. It's window open season, everyone.

Ron: You can hear the birds. You can hear your horrible mouth.

Laura: Sorry, m about that. I just ate a go ahead bar.

Ron: What's a go ahead bar?

Laura: Okay, yoga. Yoga bar thing. See, Wednesday mornings, Ron, I have breakfast with the child. I take her to nursery, then I walk the dog, then I have a second breakfast, then I work out, then I cram something in before I record with you, just to keep the worst of my personality at bay until I can have proper lunch. After we record.

Ron: Wow. Four meals by 02:00.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah, well, because I walk Mackie for like, five or six, and then I do a full workout for an hour with a pt. So, uh, I gotta feed the beast, you know?

Ron: Yeah, that's fair. I am, um. I I've got lots of food in my house that I'm trying to use up, so I'm having breakfast at the moment, which I don't usually do.

Laura: Why are you trying to use it up?

Ron: Just because food goes off?

Laura: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Last night I just ate a bowl of meatballs. I just couldn't be bothered to cook pasta, and they needed eating. No one else was home. So I was like, I got to have two people's portion of meatballs.

Ron: I made hummus for the weekend, uh, in classic Ron style. I made, uh, just over a kilo, I think.

Laura: Jesus, Ron.

Ron: But then, um, my friend Beth. Oh, Beffy pack, she, um, she introduced, uh, me to a pasta salad recipe that she'd made that used, um, like, hummus as the sauce. It was delicious. Really, um, really tasty. Um, so I decided to. So I've got a big box of pasta salad now to use up a bunch of the hummus. But it really felt like that was resetting the hummus. But the hummus was, like, good four or five days old when I made the pasta salad. I've got a good four or five days worth of pasta salad to eat. Now.

Laura: Here's the thing about hummus, though. What is it about it that makes it go off?

Ron: It's food. It's like an organic product.

Laura: Yeah, but, you know, some things just last ages.

Ron: Yeah, but not cooked vegetables.

Laura: Is that what it is?

Ron: Because the chicken, it is cooked, uh, vegetables? Yeah.

Laura: And when they're in the can, it's like, paused.

Ron: It's in a can. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

It's been a long time since we did this podcast

All right.

Ron: You're not smart today, are you?

Laura: No. You know, I read a really good book where there was this guy who, like, had a sort of fairy wish granted to be really smart, but then he was either the smartest he'd ever been or super, super thick. And, um, I feel like I have those days. I just feel like it's a long time since we did this. I think it was only last week.

Ron: Yeah, I don't think we've taken any time off.

Laura: No, but I've been on holiday, so.

Laura says she slept seven and a half hours last night

Ron: Oh, how was Lanzarote?

Laura: Should we not talk about it in a quiz? Because we're doing that thing where we give them intros outros vibes. Because we're not doing intros outros today.

Ron: Yeah. Okay.

Laura: Uh, so you. You're on slow go today.

Ron: Oh, I have brain fog to the extreme. Um, and I'd like. I feel kind of fine, but I'm just so exhausted. I slept seven and a half hours last night. That's a Ron ten.

Laura: Whoa.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: That's a Laura 1410.

Ron: Wait, I think you went the wrong way.

Laura: Yeah, maybe ten is my necessary usual.

Ron: Yeah, so a seven and a half is a. I. Ah.

Laura: Don't get that, by the way. Please don't listen to this thinking. I sleep 10 hours a night. I don't. That's when my body would wake itself up.

Ron: Um. All right, Laura, listen up.

Laura: All right, can you stop squeezing your eyeballs? It's really hard to concentrate.

Ron: No, I'm holding my eyelids closed.

Laura: Why? They should do that of their own. Of course. You should have strong enough facial muscles. They shouldn't be pinging back up like a.

Ron: They keep flying open all the time. All right, Laurie, listen up. Listen up.

Question number one: Ron's laptop locks itself. Laura's mouth sounds creaky

Okay, it's time for the quiz now. Question number one.

Laura: My mouth is so noisy today.

Ron: Really?

Laura: It feels creaky.

Ron: My laptop locked itself. What's the difference? Laura?

Laura: That should be. Do you reckon people have that on their bingo cards? Ron's laptop locks itself. Stick that on your bingos, guys. It happens a lot.

Ron: Happens every five minutes.

What's the difference between potable and pure water, Ron

Um, all right, what's the difference between potable and pure water?

Laura: Potable is drinking water. Pure water is.

Ron: You've turned off your camera.

Laura: Have I?

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Oh. Doesn't say it's turned off. Now you've turned yours off.

Ron: Yeah. Turn yours on and off again.

Laura: Oh, look, it's me live at the Apollo. Boop. I'm back.

Ron: There you go. You're back.

Laura: Okay. Potable just means it's safe to drink, whereas pure water means it has no impurities in it. It is just h two o. Yeah.

Ron: What's in the potable water, Ron?

Laura: We can't hear that.

Ron: What's in the potable?

Laura: Water, though, um, I think it has like, sodium sulphates and nitrates in it.

Ron: You don't have to be specific. Minerals. There we go. Lovely stuff. Yes. Stings all round.

Laura: Wow, you are low energy today.

Ron: What's. What? Why. Why can pure water be bad, Laura?

Laura: Because, Ron, because of concentration gradients.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: It's so pure that it leeches then minerals out of your body and back into the water.

Ron: Mmm. Yes, good stuff. Um, what are three methods for water sterilisation, Laura?

Laura: Boiling. Um.

Ron: Um.

Laura: What'S, like, filtering and chemical purifying. So can you do condensation in one? You know, the one where you condensate it and then just take all the condensation?

Ron: No. So, um, I'll be nice and I'll give you another chance. Um, so water sterilisation kind of just means, like, the, uh, almost sort of the chemical one.

Laura: So electrolysis.

Ron: No, you're listening to the words that I'm saying. Chlorine's one, okay?

Laura: Chlorine.

Ron: Chlorine's one. Okay?

Laura: I was just putting it in the list. Gosh, you're rude. Um. Um.

Ron: Now, Laura, imagine you were at, like, a beautiful landmark. No, imagine, um. Imagine you're at a cereal factory, okay? And the makers of well known. A well known cereal have decided, as a marketing ploy, to. To try out different letters, not just the letter that they usually use for the cereal that they make. So they divide the factory into different areas and you have the cheery a's and then you have the cheery B's.

Laura: Ozone. Yes, ozone. Ozone. Uh, Rant.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Can't believe I forgot that bit.

Ron: That's two.

Laura: Yeah. So we need a third one.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Sodium.

Ron: Talk me through it.

Laura: I don't know. Saltwater's a thing.

Ron: Yeah. And clear. And famously everything in the sea is dead.

Laura: So why are we killing things?

Ron: Because you're sterilising it.

Laura: Oh, um.

Ron: What did you think sterile meant?

Laura: I don't know, Ron. I don't know, Ron. I don't know. The third one. I think we talked about a third one.

Ron: We did. It's ultraviolet light.

Laura: Don't remember that.

You name two processes for desalination. There's one called condensation and one called electrolysis

Ron: All right, Laura, how can you. You name two processes for desalination.

Laura: The trick. Oh, question. It doesn't work.

Ron: Explain.

Laura: Large scale. You can't do it. It's too much energy.

Ron: Explain.

Laura: What else do you want to know?

Ron: Well, you're just saying things.

Laura: Um. Okay, condensation. Can you do that?

Ron: What's the actual word for that? Because condensation is a thing on a window. You evaporate. Distillation. There's one. And what's the other one?

Laura: Um, electrolysis.

Ron: What's electrolysis?

Laura: Where you put the sticks in it and everything sticks to one stick. You run an electric current through.

Ron: Your video's gone off again.

Laura: Maybe I'm just too pretty.

Ron: Um, no, the other one's reverse osmosis.

Laura: We did not discuss reverse osmosis.

Ron: I think we did. At length.

Laura: Lies. Um, wait, what's osmosis? Osmosis is when you absorb things through a cell wall.

Ron: Osmosis is, uh, the process of water moving across a membrane.

Laura: So you piss water out of a membrane?

Ron: Look, man, that's just what it says in the syllabus.

Laura: Are we gonna be able to do an episode after this, Ron?

Ron: I think I'm doing all right.

Laura: You've got the vibe of a, um, man that has only smoked for a fortnight.

Ron: No, I'm just, um, just, just. Just ill, really. Um, got a bit of a chest infection. Um, but, um, it's all hatred.

Laura: Is your chest infected with hate?

Ron: No.

Laura: In your heart.

Ron: It's always nice when you're sort of working on a collaborative, creative project with someone, and then they just kind of go, you're not good today.

Laura: You say it to me all the, the time. All the time. In fact, I think one of the first lines in today's episodes was, you're not smart today, are you, Laura? I think.

Ron: Yeah. All right. Well, that's the question, isn't it?

Laura: Well, you really, really pulled it out the bag at the end there, Ron, and I'm very proud of you. You need to be peppy as fuck in this outro.

M: Why don't you quit in a blaze of glory

Well, that was a. Okay, they've had the episode. Now we're on.

Ron: Hmm.

Laura: M we should probably stop shouting at each other. It's rare that we have such an angry intro.

Ron: Yeah, I'm sorry.

Laura: That's okay. I'm sorry your life sucks. I guess it's just, it's anticlimactic after the fun of the weekend.

Ron: No, it's not. It's external pressures coming in that I don't care and want about.

Laura: Why don't you quit in a blaze of glory?

Ron: Because I need money. I need money to live. I'm hooked on the fame of it.

Laura: Excuse me.

Comedy podcast devotees group are voting for a comedy podcast World Cup

Um, speaking of fame. Wrong. Um, listeners, there's a thing that happens on social media in the comedy podcast devotees group, which is a sort of comedy podcast World Cup. I think enough of you, uh, submitted us that we are in a group now. Listen, we don't stand a chance. And I'm not trying to be self deprecating.

Ron: Who are we up against this.

Laura: Oh, like three bean salad. Um, I think maybe have a words in our group again. I don't know, again, they've already won once. Three bean salad means we don't have a chance.

Ron: However, there's only one straight white guy in this podcast. There's three in that one. How are we supposed to compete with that?

Laura: Let me cheque which group we are actually in and I'll tell you who we're up against. But it's basically, it doesn't really matter who we're up against. We're such a small podcast that genuinely, it's fine, we won't go very far. But what we do find is that, um, when we're in this, we do get a flux of new listeners because, um, because people find the podcast suddenly. So, um, that's what we need. Okay, there we are. We're against memory Lane, which is Kerry Godlam and Jen Brister. We're against Reha Lustipa, um, three bean salad and lex Education. So whilst, you know, we obviously have no chance of winning, and that's absolutely fine, but the more people that, like, share it and vote for us when we're in it, we just find a load more listeners because obviously really going out to the sort of people who listen to a comedy podcast, so we do find that it's very, very helpful for, um, getting new listeners. So if you can vote for us and share it and just sort of pump us up a little bit, it's a really good time for us for onboarding new people.

Ron: Laura, you know Richard herring. Do you think you could get him to withdraw?

Laura: I think maybe if we gave him a comedy reason, but I don't know if he's in control of withdrawing or not.

Ron: Well, maybe you could get him to just say, no, don't vote for me, vote for lex education.

Laura: All right, I'll see what I can do.

Ron: Also, you know Jen Brister, don't you?

Laura: Yeah. That's not even her only podcast.

Ron: Yeah, get her to do the same.

Laura: If I know Jen, Jen doesn't even know this competition's happening and she largely does not care.

Ron: Yeah, exactly. So she could help us out for once. Jen Briston never helps us out.

Laura: I bumped into her the other day at Brighton station. She's so beautiful. I'm really funny. Um, all right, well, maybe why don't we just release a press release saying that everybody else pulled out? Oh, he's doing the register.

Ron: Register.

Laura: Um, well, as I wrote it. Ron, why don't you read it?

Ron: Sure. Vicky Sykes is in charge of Lex educations. Episode 101, room 101, in which we put all of the things we truly, truly hate. This includes, but is not limited to, physics, a lilt of chemistry, some of biology Thursdays, the day furthest from a.

Laura: New episode, a lot of chemistry, a.

Ron: Lilt, the need to do promotion on social media to get listeners, and finally, the myriad mouth noises involved in the podcast. Thank you, guardian of the gate, Vicky. Thank you indeed.

Laura: Hooray. And thank you to all our patrons and listeners and brilliant people. Good time to cough, Ron. I will edit that out. I will.

Ron: But I just put in a funny sound effect of a dog on a merry go round.

Laura: Did you say foamy?

Ron: No, I said funny.

Laura: Oh. Uh, that makes more sense.

Ron: I'm also ill. That's the other thing about all of this. I'm all bogged up.

Laura: I'm ill, too, but I just cope better because I'm great. Uh, we love you, listeners, Ron. Dismissed.

Ron: Class dismissed.

Laura: Sorry.