Three Seven and Boring

 Three Seven and Boring

Lex Education is a comedy science podcast hosted by Laura Lex

Laura: Hello and welcome to another episode of Lex Education. It's the comedy science podcast where comedian me, Laura Lex, tries to learn science from her nerdy younger brother, Ron.

Ron: Legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs. Education.

Laura: Hi. That's Ron. How you doing, Ron?

Ron: I'm Ron. Yeah, I'm good. How you doing?

Laura: I'm really good.

Ron: I flew over Mount Fuji and Wellington in New Zealand

Uh, I am in Wellington, in New Zealand.

Ron: That's not very far from Taunton.

Laura: A different Wellington. Ron. I'm looking out my.

Ron: Do you know what happens in Wellington, Laura?

Laura: Carnival.

Ron: No, I saw Incredibles 2 there, but yes, also Carnival. Ah.

Laura: Also the first place, uh, I ever had, um, Snoop's Cali Red from.

Ron: Oh, my God, what a wine from.

Laura: The waitress in Wellington. Was that after Dad's fake summer birthday.

Ron: Maybe?

Laura: When did we have that?

Ron: I remember us buying it and then drinking one bottle. We bought the first bottle because it was funny because Stu was on it, and then we bought the next, like, four bottles because it was genuinely maybe one of the most delicious reds I've ever drunk.

Laura: Yeah. And Judith was there, so it. Maybe it was Dad's birthday thing. Good times. Um, but what a delicious place, Wellington is. This Wellington shithole in comparison. Absolutely dreadful. Um, yeah, it's really weird, actually. It sort of almost feels Mediterranean.

Ron: Y.

Laura: Because the whole city is around a bay. Um, and. And then it's like really lush green hills in a horseshoe around this bay. So it's got that, like, Italian coast feeling, but doesn't look Italian in any way, you know.

Ron: I'm checking out some images.

Laura: I'm gonna forward you some photos that I took.

Ron: I'll.

Laura: Uh. Um. I flew over the raddest thing I've ever flown over because I tried to get a train down and basically was told, you can't. You have to fly between Auckland and Wellington. Um, so that was a little bit sad, carbon wise, but I. I will have to offset this entire trip. Um, look at the photo I just sent you, Ron. Look what I flew over Mount Fuji. Is that Mount Fuji?

Laura: Sure.

Ron: Not Mount Fuji's in Japan, but that's what it looks like.

Laura: It's a volcano, Ron.

Ron: That looks like a fake mountain. It doesn't look like a volcano. It's got a very pointy tip.

Laura: But surely look at the way that that runs, I think.

Ron: What do you mean?

Laura: Well, like, look at the difference. Uh, surely that's a volcano. It's so pointy. I thought that was the whole point of volcano.

Ron: Why would a volcano be pointy? Volcanoes are famously blunt at the top.

Laura: Uh, I think it looks like a volcano. Looks like a big nipple.

Ron: Why do you think that looks like a volcano?

Laura: Because it's got a bit where it's gonna explode.

Ron: Does it?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Where it's just.

Laura: Just right on the areola.

Ron: That doesn't. No volcano has like a.

Laura: And it's so lush all down it. Look how lush it is all down it.

Ron: Volcanoes have, like, a bowl at the top.

Laura: No, not all of them. Maybe I should do an episode on volcanoes.

Ron: It might be a volcano. Do you know what mountain this is?

Laura: No.

Ron: Do you know where you were?

Laura: I was flying between Auckland and Wellington.

Ron: The interesting. That thing that I think about this mountain is the very straight and, um, circular line of green.

Laura: Yeah. It's really cool, isn't it?

Ron: Is that just agriculture up to that line?

Laura: I think so.

Ron: Interesting.

Laura: But volcanoes are famously lush. All down.

Ron: Oh. And then those are. Those are true. Oh, that's. Oh, I thought that was barren rock above that green line. But no, it's trees, aren't they?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. Oh, that's sad, isn't it?

Laura: Why? You love trees.

Yes, but it's sad that there's just a line where people can cut them up

Ron: Yes, but it's sad that there's just a line where people have been allowed to cut them up until.

Laura: Ah.

Ron: Ah.

Laura: Nature will reclaim it one day.

Ron: Yeah. But, um. Doesn't scream volcano to me, to be

00:05:00

Ron: be honest.

Laura: It does to me.

You went on spring break and got a tribal tattoo

My tattoo is so itchy, Ron. It's itchy. Itchy, itchy.

Ron: Yeah. So let's chat about that. Huh? Huh? You. You went on spring break and, um, you got a tribal tattoo.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Like some cool rad brocreating.

Laura: Um, the naved frosted tips at the weekend. Yeah.

Ron: That's cool. Well, I got a chat to you as well.

Laura: Yeah. You still haven't sent us any images. Oh, a houseplant in a bowl in a mug.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: I love it, Ron.

Ron: Thank you.

Laura: You went to John Lewis and got tattooed. The first thing you saw went to.

Ron: The same guy that did our brother, um, sister, Dead man tattoo.

Laura: How's his baby?

Ron: Yeah, same guy, 10 months old.

Laura: Ah, beautiful.

Ron: Ah, yeah, it was, um. It was stressful because I was there. Um, but then my band was playing their first ever proper gig that night. Um, so tattoo man was very invested in me getting that geek. He rushed the tattoo, didn't do any of the aftercare on my wishes. He was very kind about it. Um, and, uh, I made it to the gig on time.

Laura: Nice.

Ron: Yeah. Played a ripper set and, uh, we had a mosh pit. Our first ever gig, which was very cool.

Laura: Yeah, that's fun. And you had shorts made by girlfriend of the podcast, Judith.

Ron: Yeah, they were very uneven, but it was a look.

Laura: Yeah. Oh, she sent us pictures. Don't worry, Ron. Nice, nice. Um, yeah, we decided to both get kiwis here in our tattoo story. Um, and then we found a tattoo parlour that was just lovely, Ron. Instead of being like a grungy aesthetic, it had a real spa vibe about it. It was very chill and pale and, you know, it was beautiful. And I was like, if more tattoo parlours were like this, I'd have a thousand tattoos. Um, and the original plan was we were going to get little flashes done, which is what younger sister of the podcast did. But I wanted something a more. Just a bit bigger and a bit more intense.

Ron: So, um, Just a bit more Maori.

Laura: Yeah. I had this cool water bottle with me and she was like, oh, do you like that sort of thing? And I was like, I do. And then I showed her my original tattoo because I wanted my tattoo right next to it. And so she chose the colours and. And sort of designed me a kiwi that. That fit the two things.

Ron: Fun.

Laura: Yeah. Anyway, so science now. Boo. Uh, Ron brings some zhush to the table in this episode and we chat. Ideal gas Law.

Ron: Um.

All right, Laura, we're on to chemistry. Do you remember what we're doing in chemistry at the moment

All right, Laura, we're on to chemistry. Yeah. Do you remember what we're doing in chemistry at the moment?

Laura: God, why do you always start with this question? Why do you always set us up for failure?

Ron: Failure.

Laura: Oh, it's moles, wasn't it? It was moles again.

Ron: Well, here's the thing, Laura. What we're doing in chemistry at the moment is zhuzh.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, yeah, Rylan.

Ron: Yeah. All right, so we're doing a bit of sort of ABC testing. Um, biology, physics is where it's sort of just normal. Chemistry is where we're going to try zhuzh. And then biology is kind of like where we'll be dry. But I know, uh, loads about it. More informative.

Laura: Nice.

Ron: Okay, so there's. Those are the three strands. So chemistry is for the zhuzh.

We're moving away from moles today. We're doing ideal gases

My first question, Laura, how do you spell zhuzh personally?

Laura: Z, H, U Z. S, Z, H.

Ron: Uh, Close, but no cigar. It's actually S Z J U, S Z, JH.

Laura: Is it?

Ron: That's how I'm spelling it.

Laura: I think you can really spell however you want.

Ron: No, that's how you spell it. It's all consonants, hands.

Laura: Um, shoji.

Ron: Anyway, Laura, we're moving on to, uh. We're moving away from moles today. Sort of, um. Stop playing. We're moving on. To.

Laura: You know, it's me, a kiwi. I'll, uh, stop playing with that in the camera because it's not fun for the listener or you. Don't be this cake again. Ron, we simply cannot put out another episode.

00:10:00

Laura: It's all visual gags.

Ron: We're doing. We're doing ideal gases, Laura.

Laura: Oh, my God, I've got so many of those.

Ron: Your gases are less than ideal, I'll tell you that. Um, Laura, could you, um. We're going to do a quick recap of particle theory. Okay.

Laura: Um, this doesn't feel like the sort.

Laura: Of thing you can quickly recap.

Ron: Oh, yeah. But think about this with zhuzh. Okay, Laura, So imagining. We're going to imagine all of the particles in a substance as people. Okay.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: So when in a solid, what are the people doing?

Laura: Cuddling each other, holding hands real tight.

Ron: M. Yeah, I said, um, I was thinking maybe they're like. Like in a rugby scrum.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: That. That sort of thing. Or. Or maybe like a marching formation. Um, why. Why are they. Why are they cuddling each other?

Laura: Cold.

Ron: I mean, I more mean relating back to the metaphor. Not law, not sort of backstories for.

Laura: The imagination, but also. Also.

Laura: Also correct. Because they will run away from each other.

Ron: That's not. That's actually not bad.

Laura: The energy to move away from each other so.

Ron: As if they're cuddling together for heat. Very good.

Laura: But also from apathy, because they physically couldn't move away even if they wanted to.

Ron: Why?

Laura: Because they don't have the energy. Wrong.

Ron: They don't have the energy. No, they're all bonded together. Um, what about liquid Laura?

Laura: Loosey, goosey. They're just. They're just brushing around. They're like mingling at a party.

Ron: Well, I thought kind of like mingling at a party, but more I thought maybe like the crowd at a concert. Because crucial difference between, um, the concert crowd and the party. There's no space between the people.

Laura: Oh, yeah. I was thinking like a busy train station.

Ron: Busy train station. Could be. Yeah. No space between them, but they move about within the space and they fill the space that they're in. Okay.

Laura: Hm. Like me and jeans.

Ron: Yeah. Um, and then gases. They're more like people milling about at a fancy party. Okay, okay.

Laura: At a cocktail party.

Ron: At a cocktail party, indeed.

Laura: At the Met Gala. Very, very topical to.

Ron: When we're recording this specifically in the 90s. So, Laura, the ideal gas law in the kinetic theory of gases.

The ideal gas law is one of these synthetic assumptions that you make in science

Okay, first thing that we've got to know about this party in the 90s is that everyone's moving around, okay? They're moving around quickly and they're moving around randomly. No one knows anyone else at this event. Okay. There are no groups or old feuds. No. There's no tendency for some people to talk to other people. They're just moving around randomly within the event space. Okay?

Laura: Okay. I love sushi science.

Ron: Ron number two. The molecules have hardly any volume. It's in the 90s. They're all cocaine skinny. Okay.

Laura: Okay. Molecules have hardly any volume. What does that mean? So they have less volume than. What does that mean?

Ron: Sorry, um, what I should say about um, about what we're talking about now is we're setting up the.

Laura: Ideal, um.

Ron: The ideal gas law is one of these sort of um, kind of synthetic assumptions that you make in science. Like a closed system. Like, like um, like when we do forces and we talk about singular points in space is. It's um, it's a simplification of what actually happens that allows us to study it. Because you couldn't possib. Actually measure all of the interactions that are happening because the molecules actually do have volume and they do have mass and they're um, uh, and whatnot. But we. You could spend your entire life trying to factor all of that in to do one calculation or you make a couple assumptions. Get uh, do your calculation get closer than you'd ever need to, um, by sort of excluding some bits of it.

Laura: Got. Yeah.

Ron: Um. So in the,

00:15:00

Ron: in the metaphor of the party, obviously everyone going to the party has a, ah, rich deep life, um, and lots of stuff going on. And maybe they've had a bad day or maybe they've just found something out or something. But us studying the party from above, we don't care about any of that.

Laura: Yeah, we don't give a. Leave your baggage at the door.

Ron: Exactly.

Laura: But it's not about us. They don't have any volume. What does that mean?

Ron: Um.

Laura: There aren't many molecules in there or the actual molecules themselves.

Ron: The, the molecules themselves, each one of them. We don't worry about the volume of that molecule. Remember like, you know, we took um. It's, it's similar to like the, the uh, particle theory that we've talked about before rather than like, you know, because one gas might be um, uh, you know, like propane gas or something. That's three carbon chain and they're all flying around so that you know, there's little chains flying around. When we're thinking about it like this, we're going to consider them just as points Little dots, particles.

Laura: Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ron: It's just. Yeah, it's just part.

Laura: So you would treat a molecule that was two atoms the same as a molecule that was 15.

Ron: Exactly. Yeah. For the purposes of these calculations, absolutely. Okay. Um, the next assumption we're making about our party, Laura, is that every interaction between our guests is going to be surface level only. Small talk.

Ron Hornhorn: I'm trying to learn about gas molecules

Okay.

Laura: All right.

Ron: The gas molecules do not attach.

Laura: My nightmare.

Ron: Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's a bad party. Uh, the, the gas molecules don't attract or repel each other. Okay.

Laura: Mhm.

Ron: No intermolecular forces.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: Are you okay, Laura?

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: You've burped more than you've made japes.

Laura: I'm very tired. Uh, and I'm making notes. I'm trying to learn.

Ron: I see I've got terrible.

Laura: Either heartburn or acid reflux. I'm not sure which.

Ron: Yeah, we can hear.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I've had quite a lot on today and I've. I've done 98 minutes of cardiovascular exercise.

Ron: Wow.

Laura: Um, so actually I was very justified in eating those crisps.

Ron: Okay.

Laura: Um, just like writing for these topical panel shows, it's such a, like, brain exercise because, you know, like, they, they have a round that's just like mock the week. It's like, what's it gonna be? Um, oh, there's a story about a cricketer who's come out and said he takes recreational drugs. So one of the things is like, cricketers on drugs and you go up to the mic and do bits. So you're just kind of going like, bam, go. You know, and you're just trying to slam stuff out on these topics. It's quite, um. Oh, it's just quite brain tiring.

Ron: Yeah, that's fair. Um, and that's all very well and good, but you're still on the clock, you're still working.

Laura: So this is where the show. I mean, Ron, don't get me wrong, I know the show has its difficulties for you as well. But I have a choice to make in these episodes as to whether I try to learn the science or I try to make an entertaining podcast. And there are just some times I cannot do both because if I start thinking, oh, uh, that thing's about that, then suddenly you've waffled on. You'll go, repeat back to me what I just said and I'll think, I can't. I was thinking about something else because I was trying to think of a funny thing to say. So today I thought I'd actually try and learn this because honestly, I've Been eating so much shit during quizzes lately, it's just hurting.

Ron: I'd wager, uh, that we need m to make every episode entertaining and maybe worry about you learning a level stuff. Not at all.

Laura: Then what is this podcast, Ron, Some people like the quiet episodes where I just quietly learn science with you.

Ron: All right.

Laura: Also, everyone else in this flat is asleep because it's quarter past ten here and they're three, seven and boring. So I have, I only have like a small piece of MDF between me and each of those sleeping people, so I can't be shouting and screaming and raging at you.

Ron: Three, seven, and boring. Your two word

00:20:00

Ron: Tinder profile.

Laura: My waist measurement and my iq.

Ron: Um, all right, well, okay, we'll have a quiet learning.

Laura: No, because you're bringing the George wrong. It's fine. From a listener's perspective, this is perfectly balanced.

Ron: Well, yeah, but I really thought that I was offering up sort of zhuzh, um, bait that you would insert sort of the Rylands of the world into. But as it is, I'm just talking about a party that's not happening. I thought maybe we'd be waxing whimsically about the guests at the party.

Laura: I think the problem is the zhuzh though, Ron, because it's both of ours.

Laura: Hellscape. A, it's a party.

Laura: B, it's a superficial party where it's all small talk. This isn't our party. If you'd made this, um, I don't know, like a big house that six people lived in but didn't particularly, you know, they having a little chat in the kitchen every now and again and then going back to their separate rooms.

Ron: But that's not a gas.

Laura: No.

Laura: What's that?

Ron: If I had to shoehorn something to be a benefit for six people doing that, uh, maybe that could be a protein, but we'll get there another time. Jesus Christ.

Laura: Yeah, Ron, I ate loads of crisps today.

Ron: I mean, it is somewhat fitting that you're very gassy in this episode.

Laura: It was like six hours ago though. I guess they're just digesting now.

Ron: Well, you know how like, crude oil is sort of dinosaurs that got squashed up?

Laura: Mhm.

Ron: That's probably happening to your crisps now. Just becoming sort of an oil deposit.

Laura: Uh, I will deposit them.

Ron: I had a roast beetroot and radish salad for lunch yesterday and then scared myself to death the next time I did a shit.

Laura: It is terrifying.

Ron: Yeah, it is delicious though.

Laura: I had a sandwich from a cafe today and, um, I have no idea if it Was vegetarian sausages or falafel in it? I was too scared to ask once I'd started eating it, but it was delicious.

Ron: That sounds good. Um, anywho, Laura, there's no kinetic energy lost when the gas molecules collide with each other.

Laura: No, because they all, um, just absorb the star power off each other. Like Emma Stone in La La Land.

Ron: Perfect analogy. Exactly.

Average temperature of the gas is related to average kinetic energy of the molecules

Um, and then lastly, the average temperature of the gas is related to the average kinetic energy of the molecules.

Laura: Now who's burping? Stop doing my bits.

Ron: Yeah, I did burp, but then you did my bit that you were doing the zhuzh, so we just swapped off for a bit.

Laura: What was that? Average temperature of the gas is what.

Ron: Is related to the average kinetic energy of the molecules.

Laura: Oh, that bit is boring.

Ron: Yeah, I couldn't think of a metaphor for that.

Laura: Um, I guess the hotter the room is Hollywood.

Ron: I guess the. The more you heat the room, the more people move about.

Laura: Or the more people move about, the hotter the room gets.

Ron: I suppose so. Yeah. Um, that doesn't really work for gases, though. Okay, Laura, what, um, what. What all of this is in aid of is essentially so that we can.

Laura: Use an equation for the thing. It's not a charity fundraising party.

Ron: Um, yeah. Juz against, um, what's our cause? Juge against baddies. Zhuzh against baddies. Yes. SAP.

Laura: Let's just. We'll just be really middle of the road and we'll just say baddies, and then everybody listening can decide on their own baddies, you know, and then we're everybody's hero.

Ron: Yeah. And we've got, like, a big picture of Henry Kissinger on the wall. Um, yeah, he's. He's the baddie of. Because this

00:25:00

Ron: is the 90s, so he was still alive.

Laura: Um, but didn't everybody love him?

Ron: Henry Kissinger?

Laura: Yeah. Didn't he, like, get a Nobel Peace Prize? Maybe, but he's starting the war in Vietnam.

Ron: He's still a baddie, though. We were ahead of the times. Even though it's the 90s.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Ron: Yeah. And then Kate Moss is there.

Laura: She's a baddie, is she?

Ron: Oh, she's one of the guests. One of the thin guests.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: David Arquette.

Laura: Yeah, he's there. Uh, he's a baddie.

Ron: Matthew Lillard. Yeah, he's Sarah Michelle Geller.

Laura: Aren't, um, these more early Noughties characters?

Ron: I'm naming the cast of the live action Scooby Doo.

Laura: I feel like that was early Noughties.

Ron: Uh, um, okay. David arquette. I think's 90s Rob Schneider.

Laura: Doesn't sound dissimilar to the cricket sound effect that I sometimes use.

Ron: Anyway, um, all of this is an aid of using an equation called the ideal gas law. Okay.

Laura: More equations?

Ron: Yeah, it's all equations from here by, um. Essentially, all that we're linking here is pressure, volume and temperature.

Pressure times volume equals neurobiology times revs times temperature

All right?

Laura: Right.

Ron: Okay. So we're gonna draw out the equation first. So a little P.

Laura: Splash. It's gone down my leg.

Laura: A big V. Got one when the P came out.

Ron: Okay, you're back. Oh, I can hear myself.

Laura: What are you doing? My phone just randomly got involved.

Laura: Don't do that.

Laura: Did my good joke about that's where the P came out. Make it in.

Ron: I heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was. That was good. Don't worry, that's not on the cutting room floor. Equals small n. Pardon?

Laura: GarageBand was dancing.

Ron: Yeah, I wish apps wouldn't do that.

Laura: Uh, me too.

Ron: Small N, Capital R. Uh, capital T.

Laura: Nerd.

Ron: PV equals nerd. Okay.

Laura: Pressure times volume equals neurobiology times revs times temperature.

Ron: So three out of five. Correct. It actually isn't neurobiology or revs. But all of the other ones were correct. Laura. Pressure.

Laura: Four.

Laura: Four out of six. Because I also knew what the equals sign meant.

Ron: What does equals mean?

Laura: Equal. Same as.

Ron: Yeah. Okay. What's the unit of pressure?

Laura: I think. I wouldn't know that.

Ron: It's possible.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Fair, fair, fair. Right, what are we doing? Pressure times volume.

Ron: What's the unit of pressure?

Laura: Psi. That's what I put in my tires.

Ron: Pounds per square inch. It's not the SI unit of pressure, but that is a unit for pressure, so you won't be marked with the dumbins this time. No, it's Pascals.

Laura: Pascals. Pedro.

Ron: What'S the SI unit of volume?

Laura: Centimetres cubed.

Ron: So close.

Laura: Metres cubed.

Ron: Metres cubed, yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't be centimetres, because that's not the SI unit of length, is it? Distance. Okay. The small N, Laura, is the number of moles of gas we have.

Laura: Oh, God.

Laura: Oh, God. Oh, God.

Ron: That's just in moles.

Laura: Right?

Ron: The big R. Uh, that's just the gas constant. What's the gas constant, I hear you ask? It's 8.31 joules per kelvin. Per mole.

Laura: 8.31 joules per Kelvin Per mole?

Ron: Yep.

Laura: Fuck. This is going beyond my pay grade.

What's Kelvin, Laura? He's the dog from overcooked

Ron: Right, and then, as you correctly surmise, the T is temperature. But what's the SI unit of temperature?

Laura: Degrees centigrade. No degrees Fahrenheit. No degrees Kelvin.

Ron: Kelvin. Yeah. What's Kelvin, Laura? Mhm. What's Kelvin, Laura?

Laura: He's the dog from overcooked.

Ron: Kelvin is a temperature scale that starts at absolute zero. No, absolute zero.

Laura: Absolute zero.

Ron: Do you actually not know what the Kelvin scale is?

Laura: No, I know what it is, but I don't know exactly what it is. And you don't accept when I just vaguely know in my head and can't say it.

Ron: What's your vague knowledge?

Laura: Well, it's that stupid one that no one cares about. And, um, zero Kelvin is like minus 27 centigrade or Celsius.

Ron: I think it's like minus 280 or something.

Laura: Is it?

Ron: Yeah, it's very cold. Absolute zero.

Laura: What's the difference between Centigrade and Celsius?

Ron: Nothing, I think. Yeah. Minus 273.

Laura: Ah, see, I had 27 in my head.

Ron: Yeah, not bad. Um, that's the coldest anything can get. So the Calvin scale starts from there. Because that just makes sense, doesn't it?

Laura: I don't know. Have you felt my wife's hands?

Ron: Ah, it was weirdly like, bawdy and wrong, but also sort of innocent and nothing at the same time.

Laura: A bit Alan Partridge is what I was going for.

Ron: Yeah. Um, but one Kelvin is the same as one degree. The. The unit scale is the same.

Laura: I'm stopped taking notes now. I'm really bored.

Ron: Should we stop?

Laura: No. I just feel like it's getting into the part of the lesson that I won't try and remember.

Ron: Yeah.

Laura: Like, we'll probably have to recap from here on out next lesson anyway.

Ron: Yeah. So we could just stop. Yeah, because, um, I'm. I'm not having fun.

Laura: Why not?

Ron: I really don't. I don't think the listeners you want.

Laura: Then you spend hours, hour after fucking hour, telling me to try harder and engage, and then the second I do, you're like. You're not being whimsical.

Ron: No, I need both from you.

Laura: I think I've done both, Ron.

Ron: Um, not today.

Laura: You don't like the whimsy I've been doing.

Ron: The whimsy's visual gags or just making that toy make a noise.

Laura: Fine.

Ron: Laura, if we're being honest, we both know that this hasn't been your best episode. You're tired and there's three people asleep in the flat that you're in.

Laura: I think you're gonna listen back to this and realise that you've been very unfair, um, to me.

Ron: No, I'm gonna listen back to this and be like, God, Rowan, you did well in what you had, considering you're talking about the fucking ideal gas law to basically a cork board.

Laura: These kind of quizzes always worry me because it's the sort of episode where everything made sense at the time, and those are always the worst quizzes.

Ron: Um. Um.

Laura: Is that true?

Ron: Do you remember this making sense at the time to you?

Laura: Yeah, we had a party.

Ron: Yeah. Yeah. I think you were, like, close to the end of your tether when we recorded last.

Laura: No, I think you were just you. I think you. I think you. Sir. Um, I just think you were madder at me than you had any right to be. Um, I was just quietly learning science and you were livid about it.

Ron: I think I expected the zhuzh that I brought to be met with zhuzh, whereas I guess your expectation of me zhuzhing was that would give you space to knuckle down.

Laura: I think the mistake we made is I don't think we can try and do episodes when there are three people asleep in the flat that I'm recording in.

Ron: Yes, that's fair.

Laura: That's a lesson learned. Now they're all downstairs at the pool. Um, I'm stuck up here recording, so now I'm annoyed and bothered and can be loud. So let's judge this part.

Ron: Bothered and loud is the.

00:35:00

Ron: Is what we need.

Laura: It's breakfast radio with Ron. Bothered and loud.

It's physics today, so there's no shush. We're doing a quiz for chemistry

Ron: It's physics today, so there's no shush.

Laura: No, but, um, aren't we doing a quiz for chemistry?

Ron: Oh, yeah. No zhuzh in the quiz.

Laura: There must be zhuzh in physics. Physics is the worst one. It's the one that most needs zhuzhing.

Ron: No, Laura, I told you this. We're ABC testing it. Biology is enthusiastic science taught with passion. Chemistry is unenthusiastic science taught with zhuzh. And physics is the control group of just unenthusiastic science. Okay, but anyway, we're doing the quiz for chemistry right now. There's no zhuzh in that. I just didn't have time.

Laura: Laura, uh, you've had all the time in the world, to quote Louis Armstrong. What have you been doing?

Ron: I've got a proper job now. I forgot how much fucking time that takes.

Laura: You'd better be good, or the kiwi will make its epic return.

Ron: What's the kiwi called?

Laura: Fluffy.

Ron: Fluffy. And there's a unicorn called Ketchup, a Tasmanian devil. Tasmanian devil called Ketchup.

Laura: Yeah.

Ron: Okay, that was cute. Um, I like that. Child of the podcast just didn't get it until Nephew of the Podcast showed up, and then they proceeded to Just talk and use the entire time.

Laura: Yeah, I just put headphones on the smalls and put them on, uh, Google, meet with Uncle Ron or Auntie Ron, as you just got called. And, um, yeah, Child of the Podcast just stared at you for a while. And then as soon as nephew of the podcast joined in, she understood that she could talk to you and hear you. Yeah, she is. She often gets shy a sassy pants this week.

Ron: She's always a sassy.

Laura: Oh, it's. I feel like it's stepped up since we. We did two weeks here of just me and younger sister of the podcast, Meg. Um, and then it's already been two weeks. Yeah, two weeks today, actually, since we arrived. Um, and then husband of the podcast Tom arrived on Sunday and it's like she went, my father is here. I can now turn it up. Um, a big shout out to lab rat Lindsay, by the way, who has basically saved my bacon by. She's an Aucklandite and dropped off so many toys to keep the, um, young things of the podcast occupied while we're here in Auckland. I cannot thank you enough, Lindsay. Uh, it was great to meet you. I can't wait to see you at the show. And, um, thank you so much for all the toys. Uh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I've spent so much of my day trying to find J. Jonah Jameson in a Spider man esque Where's Wally esque book. But I do really enjoy Child of the Podcast going JJ because she could never remember his name.

Ron: While we're shouting out the lab rats. They've been very good. Crack in the, uh, discord. Um, just all of them holding as many batteries as they can in their fists. I'd forgotten what a fucking nonsense parade that episode.

Laura: Editing it back was quite fun. Listening to the dips and falls of our, um, hysteria. Yeah, I forgot about the batteries bit until it started happening. It's a good segment.

Ron: It happened a lot of times.

Laura: Yeah. And you never once got it right. Ron, you're bad at that game.

Ron: Yeah, we'll have a rematch. Um, did you take mugs with you?

Laura: No. There are two good mugs in the flat and now that looked like a good mug.

Ron: And it's not above you and Meg to, like, fly across the world with some nice mugs.

Laura: No. And had these two good mugs not been here, I think we would have bought good mugs. Because for the sake of a month, I'm happy to shell out on a mug and then leave it in an Airbnb. Um, now that husband of the Podcast is here, and there are still only two good mugs. Now we have a slight issue because he keeps encroaching on my mug.

Ron: Yeah, he'll do that.

Laura: He's like, we're married. I can have your mug. And I'm like, no, you can't use one of the shit ones. He's had pretty bad jet lag. And so he's just arrived and been no help whatsoever. It's like.

Ron: He'Ll have that till he leaves.

Laura: Yeah.

Laura: But it's okay because I actually leave Auckland before he does. So I got five days in a hotel by myself next week.

Ron: Damn.

Laura: M, son.

Laura: Yeah. I'm gonna get so much work done.

Ron: Yeah, you love it.

What's the ideal gas equation for? What does it link

Um, right,

00:40:00

right, Laura, what's the ideal gas law, and what do all the letters mean?

Laura: What do you mean all the letters?

Ron: That's an equation, isn't it?

Laura: No, it was. They're all small. They're all moving about equally.

Ron: That was the assumptions for the ideal gas law. And that's question two.

Laura: Crap. Okay. I told you it would be bad. Right? I think there was a P. Okay.

Ron: What does the P stand for?

Laura: The word on the tip of my tongue is personification, but that feels wrong, so I'm gonna say P. Volume. No, I think that's V. P? P could be. I'm sure there's a V. I think there's a V for volume.

Ron: Okay, well, think. What. What's the ideal gas equation for? What does it link?

Laura: Oh, no idea. Pressure.

Laura: What are you tapping?

Ron: Sorry, I was itching my elbow.

Laura: Oh, um.

Laura: You got a dirty little elbow.

Ron: No, I've got a.

Laura: Something's fluffing about in your wires. That's not a gash run. That is a small cut. I'd say a gash needs to be at least an inch long.

Ron: This was like an inch deep.

Laura: Your hand isn't an inch deep, you melon.

Ron: It's deep, though. I saw all, like, the ribbons and ropes in my hand.

Laura: Cool. How did you do it?

Ron: Um, a glass fell over and I went to catch it, but it smashed before I got there, and I just mushed my hoof into. Into a stabby bit.

Laura: Yeah, that's not good. Um, I think there's an N. A small N. Maybe an R. I think there's an R. Okay.

Ron: You have to arrange things into the equation.

Laura: It's utterly pointless.

Ron: What do the N and the R stand for?

Laura: Um, R groups.

Ron: That's just saying stuff. That's some classic saying stuff.

Laura: Oh, my God, Ron. Yesterday I was in a shop here called the Warehouse. And, um, you know, you get, like, cheap blankets, like those sort of M. Fluffy, uh. I don't know what. What they're made of, but like real plasticky, fluffy big throws. Uh, for the. For the sofa, they had one of those massive howling wolf at the moon.

Ron: Did you get it?

Laura: No. M. Because I don't have the suitcase space to take it home. But. Oh, my God. I wanted. Was perfect. It was all in brown scale.

Laura: Horrible.

Laura: Um, P. I looked at this. I just didn't look at it for long enough.

Ron: Right. I'm going to confirm that P does stand for pressure and V does stand for volume.

Laura: Great.

Ron: And I'll also tell you that N and R are correct, but you have to tell me what they're for and where they go. And then there's one missing that is the linchpin of the whole shebang.

Laura: Equals.

Ron: That's not one of them, but it is there because it is an equation.

Laura: You sound very muffled.

Ron: Um, how about now?

Laura: Uh, are you coming in through your microphone? Ron is back in. Beautiful sound. Now, I thought something was scuffling about on your microphone. It was your microphone scuffling about in your chest. Um. Right, okay. Let's just put an end to this madness. Uh, I can't remember what it is. It's something about the making the best gas.

Ron: No. What links pressure and volume.

Laura: Oh, I don't know.

Laura: The size of the container.

Ron: No. Um, but that was at least logical.

Laura: Okay,

00:45:00

Laura: good. Pressure times volume equals Q for coulombs over ratio time test.

Ron: You're going. So you're doing PV equals Q over rt?

Most of the answer to a question is the way you answer it

Uh, yeah. Is that what you're going for? And T, you're saying stands for test tubes.

Laura: Yes. Confidently? Yes. Most of the answer to a question is the way you answer.

Ron: I mean, it's fascinating that I told you N was right, but it didn't end up in the final equation.

Laura: What about N?

Ron: Um, no. So it is pv. So you get two marks for that. PV stands for. You're not getting a mark for equals. No, sir. Um, pressure times volume equals nrt. That's N for the number of moles of gas. R. Ah. For the gas constant and temperature. T. Shit. Yeah.

Laura: Well, it was a good try.

All the molecules move with equal speed and velocity, Ron says

Ron: All right, now I want those assumptions that you were taunting us with. Laura, There are five. There are five.

Laura: Okay, okay. Okay. So, um, all molecules are moving with equal speed and velocity.

Ron: Nope.

Laura: Hellhole. Everyone's moving fast. All the molecules move fast.

Ron: Fast and, um.

Laura: Random.

Ron: Yes.

Laura: Um, all the molecules get treated as if they're the Same size.

Ron: Uh, sort of expand on that a little bit.

Laura: Regardless of the size of molecule, you just use the same.

Ron: Yeah, but what same? What. What are we, two? One? What?

Laura: One Kilom.

Ron: What does Q long mean? It's Q long, Laura.

Laura: I don't know. It's hot in here.

Ron: It's late in here.

Laura: Yeah. Ah, it's a bad time to record some, um, signs.

Ron: Um, this is why usually you record with people that are in similar time zones.

Laura: Oh, yeah. 11 hours difference is hard. It's hard because it's very opposite, but it's hard because it's not quite 12 and I can never remember which way it goes. We're not even in the same day.

Ron: No. Uh, makes me feel very disconnected from you.

Laura: Yeah, I've been really bad at communicating with people. Yeah, but I.

Ron: That. I don't mind. I more just mean like when we're recording.

Laura: Yeah. Oh, um, okay, fine. I thought you meant like in chat. Okay, whatever. Don't forget to put the Minecraft episode up before Friday.

Laura: Okay.

Ron: That needs to go out this week, doesn't it? Okay, cool, fine.

Laura: We'll just chat business. Whatevs. Um, Laura, this.

Ron: You don't have to. Sometimes you go into a New Zealand of depression for months at a time, and that's what we chat anyway. I'm used to this.

Laura: Well, jokes on you wrong, because I've actually been really depressed while I've been here, so it's New Zealand depression squared.

Laura: Um.

Laura: I can't remember any others. Is the music loud? Is it loud at the party? What would that mean? I remember everyone being skinny. Everyone's on cocaine, so it's fast.

Ron: Oh, no, expand on the everyone being skinny. Because you said everyone has the same volume, but what is that volume?

Laura: Small.

Ron: Yeah, hardly any.

Laura: Okay, um, everyone's. Everyone's hot at the party. Everyone's well dressed. Everyone's fully saturated. I don't know, Ron.

Laura: These are the only ones I remember.

Ron: Um, the gas molecules do not attract or repel each other. There are no intermolecular forces.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Ron: No. Kinetic energy is lost when the gas molecules. Oh, goodness. Collide with each other. Those are called elastic collisions. And the temperature of the gas is related to the average kinetic energy of the molecules.

00:50:00

Ron: So that's two out of five there. Two out of five on the other one. That gives you four out of ten. And I think that's better than both of us thought you were gonna do.

Laura: Hell fucking yeah.

Ron: I think we agree. I did a good job bringing zhuzh to that.

You were so unreasonably angry with me in that episode

Laura: You zhuzhed It's. You were so unreasonably angry with me in that episode. I think the listeners can weigh in as to whether I was being a terrible podcaster and person or just a dedicated student.

Ron: Well, but you're obscuring the reality of the situation, which is, uh, not your fault, but three people asleep in the flat with you.

Laura: So, sure, I was being quiet, but I was engaged. I was responding. I was getting given it.

Ron: Yes, but you weren't 100% fulfilling your role on the podcast, which, like, with the context of the three people asleep in the flat, fine. But, like, I think. I think. I think this is, um, one where the audience are really going to baby bear the situation, and they're going to see that it's right down the middle.

Laura: Baby bear the situation. It's a great line, Ron. You're a funny guy.

Ron: Um, it's not mine. I've been, um, stole that from somewhere else, and I've been saying it liberally, because baby bearing, I think, is something the world needs to do more of.

Laura: Yeah, I'm gonna baby bear my whole day. Today. I'm going to a botanic gardens with Jen Brister and Mark Simmons.

Ron: That doesn't sound like baby bearing.

Laura: It.

Ron: That sounds, uh. I don't know.

Laura: I'm fully grown adult bearing.

Ron: That sounds. That sounds pretty Daddy bear. Hot porridge.

Laura: I'm mature bearing. Today we went to, uh. So.

Ron: Well, I guess. I guess maybe. Well, maybe that is baby bearing, because you've got fun people around you, and that's a nice day, but, you know, it's a botanical garden, which is pretty chill. You're not going to some kind of sex party or, like an accountancy show. So maybe that is baby bearing.

Laura: I think so. I, um.

Ron: Carry on.

Laura: We went to a sushi restaurant last night after my show. So my show finishes at 9. So 9:15. We walked into this place and we ate a lot of sushi. Very good sushi. And then, um, when the bill came, it was £15 each, even though me and Jen had both had a glass of wine each. And we can't work out whether it was just a madly cheap place, she totted up the bill wrong, or it was all, like, cheap, because it was right at the end of the day, and they'd basically have to throw it away anyway. But either way, it's the biggest bargain of my life.

Ron: That's lovely.

Laura: Oh, and then we went to a cocktail bar and I had a Charlie Chaplin, which was one of the most delicious cocktails I've ever had.

Ron: What was in it.

Laura: Can't remember. Apricot brandy, I think, and lime juice and something. It was tangy and then.

Ron: Sounds rank.

Laura: No, Ron, I had a really rank cocktail the other day. It was disgusting. I sort of didn't really read the menu properly and I saw some words that I like but didn't fully think about what they were. So it was some kind of gin, basil. And then I focused on the word caper, which I love, but didn't really think through that. It was caper water. And let me tell you, Ron, gin and caper water mixed together with a basil leaf floating on the top of it is disgusting.

Ron: Yeah, it sounds, um. Sounds bad.

Laura: It was horrible, Ron. It was so horrible. And younger sister in the podcast and I were sitting up on the 20th floor of a fancy hotel having cocktails, and mine made me do a real nasty face every time I took a sip.

Ron: Yeah. Do you love capers?

Laura: Yeah, capers are delicious.

Laura: Oh.

Ron: Huh. Okay.

Laura: Why did you just send me a picture of this?

Ron: I just thought that. I just thought that headline was really funny.

Laura: Wellington weather a pretty average amount of good days. Yep, that seems about right. It's currently lovely here.

Ron: And then just a super. Just generic, average family smiling at you from what looks like a very nice beach. Maybe this, maybe the sands a little soily.

Laura: Yeah. Well, in. In Wellington, in the central bit that I think they call it Orient Bay, um, they actually import the sand from Nelson further down the coast or maybe on the South Island,

00:55:00

Laura: I'm not sure.

Ron: Huh.

Laura: Yeah. Um. All right, Ron, we should probably let people go because actually, if you're enjoying all this New Zealand chat, we are going to be doing a Patreon episode about it. So this is your sign. That's what all the kids on TikTok say, isn't it? This is your sign that you should be do signing up to our Patreon. Boop you.

Ron: Class dismissed.

00:55:26